Valentine Z wrote:#1481: Livin’ on a Prayer [Sacara; ed: The Marsupial Illuminati]
The Issue
A church in @@CAPITAL@@ has been acting as a sanctuary for illegal immigrants in danger of being deported. This is because, in accordance with long-standing tradition, members of law enforcement avoid entering places of worship and arresting people while services are ongoing. The church is now on the twentieth day of a marathon service in an attempt to keep a family from facing immediate deportation.
The Debate
0. “This is nothing more than a blatant attempt to keep the laws of @@NAME@@ from being enforced,” sermonizes the Director of @@DEMONYM_ADJECTIVE@@ Border Enforcement, standing over a terrain model of the church and the surrounding area. “We cannot allow these rats to take advantage of our system. This dumb tradition should be scrapped. Just give me the word, and my people will storm the church and apprehend these illegals in a matter of minutes. We’ll also arrest all those who sheltered the family. No one should get away with aiding and abetting criminals, no matter how godly they think they are.”
1. “God will judge you harshly if you let these officers storm a sacred place, since he cares for the homeless, the tempest-tost,” pontificates a clergy member from the church at the crux of the matter. “For the government to forcibly enter our church, interrupt our service, and arrest church members is a violation of our religious freedom. Instead of doing something so evil, this poor family should be granted asylum for all the hardships @@NAME@@ has put them through. Make it easier for people like them to become residents of @@NAME@@.”
2. “Fire and brimstone!” preaches Elena Herod, your Minister for State Security. “These churchgoers need to be taught a lesson. The clergy claim they are following the will of their god by protecting this family, but how can they truly know unless they are able to ask? We can do them a favor and sure as hell send them to whatever higher power they believe in to get a definitive answer. Just imagine this: in a tragic accident, the church burns down, trapping everyone inside an unfortunate, fiery grave. We can pin it on one of those extremist groups.”
I didn't touch the names.
Elena Herod's first name seems to be random (I got Charlotte on my puppet Greater Trumpopolis) but Herod appears to be preset.