[Title] @@LEADER@@ Sing Your Song
[Validity] Didn't choose 968.2 or 968.4
[Description] The annual @@REGION@@vision Singing Contest hype train is just around the corner, and citizens across the region jump on like fleas on a dog's bottom, your own people chief among them. Yet the question who will be chosen to represent @@NAME@@ at the mother of all singing contests has been at the forefront of your thoughts this last week, due in no small part to the gargantuan neon-sign billboard in front of your office window asking that exact question.
[Option 1] "Everyone's always overdoing it with the glitter and glamour, all at the cost of the quality of the song!" bemoans the chairman of the committee responsible for the choice of this year's representing act. "I propose we surprise everyone with something simple: a nicely dressed, charming young woman playing a cello, and singing a song about falling in love with a children's fable. A guaranteed victory! Now, all I need to convince the others is the endorsement of someone with weight-err, that is, political weight, not the other kind, heh..."
[Effect 1] cellists have had no treble ensnaring their audiences recently
[Option 2] "Something simple?!" demands Pito Austern incredulously, the famous drag king also known as 'the Breasted Man'. "@@REGION@@vision is an absolute craze among the LGBTQ+ community, and you need to jump onto this rainbow-coloured, unicorn-shaped boat of ours to show @@REGION@@ how gayly @@NATION@@ looks to the future! If you endorse me as our nation's contestant, then I promise phoenixes won't be the only thing rising once they see me... what? I'm talking about the points, you doofus!"
[Effect 2] men with moobs proudly present their bust these days
[Option 3] The door to your office opens and you brace for all hell breaking loose as a group of demonic-looking musicians enter, yet instead they produce banjos and start singing a song about love and peace. "We'll indubitably subvert expectations," chirps the lead singer looking like a nightmare come true in a friendly tone once they're done. "Oh, what a jolly affair it'll be to teach others you can't judge a book by its cover! I beseech you, support our merry ensemble as @@NAME@@'s envoys of song this year!"
[Effect 3] pleasant-looking people have a devil of a time gaining anyone's trust nowadays
[Option 4] "There's only one person worthy of representing us at the contest!" bellows the @@MAN@@ heading an enthusiastic group of @@REGION@@vision fans gathered below the neon-sign in front of your office window, who erupt in choir: "@@LEADER@@! @@LEADER@@!" The @@MAN@@ turns to you smiling. "You see? The people have spoken, and our will should always be law! Now, about your performance..."
[Effect 4] @@LEADER@@ absolutely stole the show dancing in a silver gown and a big star-shaped headdress