[DRAFT] Commend The Atlae Isles

[Zukchiva]

The liberation wasn't successful?! I really don't think it should be included in that case. It would be bizarre to commend someone for writing a GA resolution/commendation/condemnation that doesn't pass (I'm excluding liberations here since they can accomplish their goal without passing), submitting an issue that doesn't make it into the game, a multi-regional organization that quickly fails, etc. I think it's quite weird to commend someone for trying to liberate a region.

It is weird, but I want to see how it goes. Because it's meant to showcase the hardwork Atlae can put towards a cause. Recruiting 50 random residents- from a GCR no less, regions not known to have as high military engagement- to serve as updaters in a liberation attempt is no mean feat. So while it ultimately did fail (and I'm not shying away from that there), I think it can be included in a commendation.

But again, I completely understand your point. You don't typically include unsuccessful things in a commendation, because they didn't meet their goal. In most cases, there isn't much value in a failed org/draft/institution besides the experience gained. But as they say, there's always exceptions to everything, and IMO this could be a good exemption to that general norm as despite its failure it was quite an undertaking, one which Atlae substantially contributed to. And I believe that contribution suitably meets the rationale for this commend- that Atlae is an example of dedication and hardwork.

You have quite a number of government positions listed, I'm not sure if that's comprehensive, however, based on my experience, you can have people serving in government whose performance ranges from excellent to good to average to poor. Now, there are a lot of players in government positions of prominent regions, if we recognized all of them, the SC would be quite busy! I personally imagine it takes excellent performances to be recognized. Aside, from the EPSA, I'm not quite convinced that his performance in government positions is excellent—that's not saying that his performances weren't excellent, just that I don't think those positions communicate an excellent performance and could use more details to try to communicate that if it's the case (and even then I do think the EPSA could use more details ).

I would argue that those who work hard in governments of one or two regions over the course of years should and often will eventually get commended- because that dedication (or perhaps boredom, hehe) is exemplary and out-of-the-norm. People like you or Atlae.

I totally agree in that the act of just having multiple offices and maybe doing the bare minimum isn't enough for a commendation- and there are a lot of people who do that. But Atlae isn't like that, so I'll try to do what you suggested and show that these positions did peruse excellent performance. But given that I'm a first-time author with limited characters, we'll have to see if I can improve it well enough

[Zukchiva]

Tried to incorporate Praecep's feedback. Given the limited characters, I haven't managed to incorporate some of it, but I hope that what I did put in helps to showcase Atlae's commendability.

I'll be seeking feedback for a week, due to the substantial changes here. We're at maximum characters, but give me your feedback and I'll make it work! ^-^

[Zukchiva]

Apologies for the early bump (very early as the last one was just four days ago x.x), just a note that I made some edits to the Deputy Minister of Information clause + the mentor clause.

I'll also be moving this to Last Call on Monday and will probably submit on Wednesday (EDT), so feedback is appreciated!

EDIT: Moved to last call, will be submitted on Wednesday if there is no more feedback.

[Calamari Lands]

You've probably checked if it's under the character limit, but my counting says it's at ~4600 characters without counting formatting, so you might want to make sure that you don't go over the limit. Just a little reminder since you plan to submit soon.

[Zukchiva]

You've probably checked if it's under the character limit, but my counting says it's at ~4600 characters without counting formatting, so you might want to make sure that you don't go over the limit. Just a little reminder since you plan to submit soon.

Checked again just in case, we're at 4987! Thank you for the reminder <3

[Zukchiva]

This has been submitted.

[Zukchiva]

After some consideration, I've decided to withdraw the proposal.

I still firmly believe Atlae is commendable as of now, and I do plan to work on this draft further. However, I've seen feedback from others backing up Praetor's original feedback regarding the clauses about Atlae's TEP government positions, in that they need to be specified more. Additional concerns about the mentoring clause have been raised, so I'll look towards trying to rework that as well. The SP Liberation will be staying.

Apologies to all whose time I wasted. I decided to do this so that I could improve upon this proposal, rather than rushing it and risking a repeal or it failing to pass.

[Goobergunchia]

I still firmly believe Atlae is commendable as of now, and I do plan to work on this draft further. However, I've seen feedback from others backing up Praetor's original feedback regarding the clauses about Atlae's TEP government positions, in that they need to be specified more. Additional concerns about the mentoring clause have been raised, so I'll look towards trying to rework that as well. The SP Liberation will be staying.

Would it be possible to rework the SP Liberation clause into something that is ultimately about success? I was doing a bit of research to determine my vote and this line from the Defender Awards stood out: "This operation was extraordinary, because we used the lessons learned during the infamous South Pacific Liberation attempts to overwhelm and drive out the occupying forces in Smol Fur Empire."

[Outer Sparta]

After some consideration, I've decided to withdraw the proposal.

I still firmly believe Atlae is commendable as of now, and I do plan to work on this draft further. However, I've seen feedback from others backing up Praetor's original feedback regarding the clauses about Atlae's TEP government positions, in that they need to be specified more. Additional concerns about the mentoring clause have been raised, so I'll look towards trying to rework that as well. The SP Liberation will be staying.

Apologies to all whose time I wasted. I decided to do this so that I could improve upon this proposal, rather than rushing it and risking a repeal or it failing to pass.

Not to worry, at least you're not rushing it if you see something that can still be improved or worked on! And it's definitely not a waste of time if you put in the effort of drafting and getting this far.

[Zukchiva]

I still firmly believe Atlae is commendable as of now, and I do plan to work on this draft further. However, I've seen feedback from others backing up Praetor's original feedback regarding the clauses about Atlae's TEP government positions, in that they need to be specified more. Additional concerns about the mentoring clause have been raised, so I'll look towards trying to rework that as well. The SP Liberation will be staying.

Would it be possible to rework the SP Liberation clause into something that is ultimately about success? I was doing a bit of research to determine my vote and this line from the Defender Awards stood out: "This operation was extraordinary, because we used the lessons learned during the infamous South Pacific Liberation attempts to overwhelm and drive out the occupying forces in Smol Fur Empire."

Hm.

The main reason I included the SP Lib was due to the sheer number of people Atlae recruited to serve as updaters. So I'm not really sure if it would be a good idea to add in SFE in such a manner, as it isn't relevant to why the SP Liberation is in there. I could possibly add in SFE as its own clause- I believe Atlae helped to command that one as well but I'd have to verify.

I'll consider it, but I may not add it in. It's definitely good feedback though, thank you!

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Not to worry, at least you're not rushing it if you see something that can still be improved or worked on! And it's definitely not a waste of time if you put in the effort of drafting and getting this far.

Thank you! Means a lot ;-;

[Tinhampton]

You cite Libertanny four times in your proposal - once as co-author, once as the editor of the Eastern Pacific News Service, and twice as the former delegate of TEP. Did Libertanny contribute to the three mentions of himself outside of the co-authorship line, or were they included by yourself in your unpolished zeroth draft?

[Zukchiva]

You cite Libertanny four times in your proposal - once as co-author, once as the editor of the Eastern Pacific News Service, and twice as the former delegate of TEP. Did Libertanny contribute to the three mentions of himself outside of the co-authorship line, or were they included by yourself in your unpolished zeroth draft?

Given that the entire thing was written by me and Lib mainly played a role in heavily editing it, the answer is I added all three of them

However, I'll most likely be removing them besides the co-author mention.

[Tretrid]

Hey, I noticed that my name was mentioned in this draft, so I just wanted to chip in my two cents.

First of all, I fully believe that Atlae is worthy of a commend. I've worked with him in his capacity as Deputy Minister of Information and with his work in the EPSA. He's done great work for both the EPNS and the EPSA, and his work with issues only further cements his contributions.

There was a clause whose wording I thought could use clarification, however.

• Deputy Minister of Information, where the nominee wrote high quality articles for the Eastern Pacific News Service (13% of all EPNS articles since 2019), mentored past and present Editors of the Service (such as Libertanny), and assisted new Editors (such as Tretrid and Eunopiar) in their tasks;

Emphasis mine.

I believe that the usage of "new" implies that Atlae was Deputy Minister before my appointment as Editor and Minister, which would be inaccurate, as I appointed him as Deputy Minister not long after my appointment as Minister in October 2019. Perhaps a slight rewording may be in order to fix that.

[Zukchiva]

Hey, I noticed that my name was mentioned in this draft, so I just wanted to chip in my two cents.

First of all, I fully believe that Atlae is worthy of a commend. I've worked with him in his capacity as Deputy Minister of Information and with his work in the EPSA. He's done great work for both the EPNS and the EPSA, and his work with issues only further cements his contributions.

There was a clause whose wording I thought could use clarification, however.

• Deputy Minister of Information, where the nominee wrote high quality articles for the Eastern Pacific News Service (13% of all EPNS articles since 2019), mentored past and present Editors of the Service (such as Libertanny), and assisted new Editors (such as Tretrid and Eunopiar) in their tasks;

Emphasis mine.

I believe that the usage of "new" implies that Atlae was Deputy Minister before my appointment as Editor and Minister, which would be inaccurate, as I appointed him as Deputy Minister not long after my appointment as Minister in October 2019. Perhaps a slight rewording may be in order to fix that.

Ah, fair. I'm thinking of scrapping this clause and using the character count for other things (including a clause about EPNS ofc), but if I keep it I'll try to reword it to be more accurate.

[Zukchiva]

Back from the dead, looking for feedback. No idea when I'll submit this, but probably going to wait at least another few weeks.

Major changes. I tried to be more specific in some areas as people mentioned the draft was vague. I nixed the clauses about the Ministry of Information and his general government service and replaced them with UTEP, which was another regional institution which Atlae played a gigantic role in reviving for a substantial period of time. Mentorship clauses are gone. Mentions of the co-author have been vanquished as well.

The RECOGNIZING clause was added due to someone's feedback about noting that I should specifically add what came out of Atlae's revival of EPSA. While I Atlae's revival of EPSA was commendable inonitself, I added the subsequent clause to show that EPSA has done some good in the Defender-sphere. It should be noted however, that EPSA does raid- albeit with strict anti-griefing mandates- so I'm unsure if it's a good idea to keep this clause in. I'm also wondering if wording the clause the way it is focuses too much on EPSA and TEP, and not enough on actually commending the nominee.

Some specific feedback for that clause would be nice, as would general feedback!

[Fauxia]

Did anyone submit issues from the issue drive that were actually published? If no, then it doesn't sound successful to me and it ought to be struck from the resolution. If yes, what were some of those issues?

[Zukchiva]

Did anyone submit issues from the issue drive that were actually published? If no, then it doesn't sound successful to me and it ought to be struck from the resolution. If yes, what were some of those issues?

Ah, they didn't as far as I can see. I'll strike it then!

[Tinhampton]

Lauding Atlae’s service as Commander of the Phoenix Flock Fleet (South Pacific liberation forces) in 2020, where it... heavily contributed to the attempted liberation of South Pacific

Snipped in relevant part. Why do you need to clarify twice that the Phoenix Flock Fleet set out to thwart the invasion of South Pacific?

[Nova Vandalia]

Looks great to me and I love the way you chose to write it. I can tell what all Atlae has done, without needing contextualization and knowhow on what your region's culture is like and how it's interworkings run. It tells me what this nation did but mostly why it is important to their community an displays its in an engaging way.

[Fauxia]

You reference a cadre of officers who can lead the army. For someone whose interaction with the east pacific (outside of Atlae) is quite limited, who are some of these? Tell us in the proposal!

[Zukchiva]

Snipped in relevant part. Why do you need to clarify twice that the Phoenix Flock Fleet set out to thwart the invasion of South Pacific?

Fair and fixed for what will be the seventh draft.

Looks great to me and I love the way you chose to write it. I can tell what all Atlae has done, without needing contextualization and knowhow on what your region's culture is like and how it's interworkings run. It tells me what this nation did but mostly why it is important to their community an displays its in an engaging way.

Thank you, I appreciate it! ^-^

You reference a cadre of officers who can lead the army. For someone whose interaction with the east pacific (outside of Atlae) is quite limited, who are some of these? Tell us in the proposal!

Added two Officers, Catania and Philevile 2. Atlae did train two more officers for a total of four (and I feel thus made a suitable 'cadre' of them), but those two officers resigned from EPSA due to personal reasons. So out of the officers Atlae trained, Cat and Phile remain- although there is another Officer and soldiers who are working their way up but are not officers as of now.

Should I change cadre to multiple to be more specific? Hm.

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I'll also probably add something more to the draft, seeing that im currently at 4,400 characters about

[Zukchiva]

Edited the sixth draft.

Normally I'd wait a bit more to make a seventh draft but I'm gonna ask some peeps for feedback and I want the draft to be up-to-date.

[Moonfungus]

Heyo, got some things here;

Recognizing that The Atlae Isles (henceforth referred to as Atlae) is a diligent, hard-working, and determined nation which has performed many admirable deeds in the past few years.

I would suggest that you cut off "hard-working" from this clause, as "diligent" already means the same thing and it's reading too wordy to me.

revived the army to the point where it could regularly conduct military operations, an operational capacity the army last achieved in 2014, by leading various military incursions and serving as an example of perseverance;

While the writing is good, this reads to me like; "Atlae carried EPSA on their back for a long time after it virtually died" Not exactly a criticism of anything, just thought I would point this out.

Acknowledging that following Atlae’s revival efforts and under the nominee’s command, the EPSA (in cooperation with other militaries) has engaged in various operations to defend natives and regions from raiders. These operations include the liberations of Spaghetti Land and Smol Fur Empire.

I would suggest cutting the "These operations include" bit and just write "including" So that would be:

Acknowledging that following Atlae’s revival efforts and under the nominee’s command, the EPSA (in cooperation with other militaries) has engaged in various operations to defend natives and regions from raiders, including the liberations of Spaghetti Land and Smol Fur Empire.

It has the same meaning and costs you way less characters, something to consider when your proposal's hovering in the 4900s.

Lauding Atlae’s service as Commander of the Phoenix Flock Fleet in 2020, where it recruited dozens of residents from The East Pacific, kept liberation infrastructure organized, assisted in timing military movement, and thus heavily contributed to the attempted liberation of South Pacific, one of the largest liberation attempts in modern history.

If I'm not wrong, South Pacific was the largest liberation attempt ever (although I think there's some case to be made for the TNP liberation in 2009/2010, according to some old-timers). It was also the largest updater force ever assembled at that time, subsequently broken by Operation Boom Beach and the recent Genua raid.

Also, wouldn't it be "a Commander" instead of just "Commander"?

Applauding Atlae’s monumental work within The East Pacific’s international artwork organization (The Eastern Association of Pacifican Ornamental Traders)

Can I suggest that you clarify the organization's abbreviation here? For example:

Applauding Atlae’s monumental work within The East Pacific’s international artwork organization (The Eastern Association of Pacifican Ornamental Traders or TEAPOT)

or something to this effect. It's a bit jarring to suddenly see you use TEAPOT out of nowhere without explaining what it means, even though we can all understand what it refers to.

Helped then-Minister-of-Education Bachtendekuppen

I think it would be "then Minister of Education" instead of "then Minister-of-Education" here.

Advised Delegates on navigating numerous foreign affairs crises (such as the region’s response to the The Solar Liberal Union coup)

Probably a me thing, but I don't see how this is commendable, especially considering the aforementioned region doesn't exist anymore. Maybe expand on this and add some other examples?

Believing that Atlae, through its contributions to The East Pacific and its assistance to foreign nations and regions, is an exemplary nation that embodies hard work and resilience.

Reads a bit wordy to me, although probably a personal preference thing.

Co-authored with: Libertanny

Extremely minor nitpick, but using a colon here is making me go >_>

Most of these are really minor nitpicks and it's a great resolution, even though Atlae may fall on the borderline commendation territory. Good luck with this!

[Goobergunchia]

If I'm not wrong, South Pacific was the largest liberation attempt ever (although I think there's some case to be made for the TNP liberation in 2009/2010, according to some old-timers). It was also the largest updater force ever assembled at that time, subsequently broken by Operation Boom Beach and the recent Genua raid.

Probably easiest to stick with the original language unless you want people like me to dig through the archives and compare numbers.

[Zukchiva]

Couple of things:

1. Incorporated Moon's feedback into the sixth draft (Sorry for not responding Moon, but I inputted most of your stuff. And yes, the intent of the EPSA clause was to say "Atlae carried it on his back sufficiently and now can pass the reigns to someone, aka he revived the Army into something functional again". Thanks for the feedback <3

2. Seeing Atlae is now TEP Delegate, I'll put this on hold. Primarily because it seems many people view Atlae's commendability as borderline and while I do disagree (obviously ), I think it only makes sense to see what he does as Delegate. Rest assured, though, that at most anything on Atlae's Delegacy will only replace the UTEP and the FA clause, and maybe not even those. So this won't turn into a "commend a TEP Delegate for being TEP Delegate" thing that people seem to be concerned about.

I initially proposed this because Atlae wasn't really sure about running for Delegate, and thus I wasn't sure how much longer they'd hang around in an active role on NS. Thus, I thought I'd just gun for a commendation. Obviously, my uncertainty was unfounded and we can presume another four months of Atlae doing awesome stuff, so I'll hold this off for now. ^-^

Thanks to all the people who helped! See you soon