[DRAFT] Commend Atlantian Oceania

[Sorianora]

Here we go again, my 3rd SC proposal. A huge thanks to Indusse for their work on this. Without them this proposal may have never taken shape.

Commend Atlantian Oceania
A resolution to recognise outstanding achievement by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation

Nominee: Atlantian Oceania

Proposed by: Sorianora

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The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (AO) is the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records including:

• The most elected Nationstates World Cup Committee presidents by a region, with AO producing 8 of 15 all time presidents
• At the time of writing the most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles won by a region (39 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania, and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each), and counting.
• The most number of World Cups Hosted by a region is held by AO with 55, which totals more than half of all World Cup Finals ever contested.
• AO is home to most of the World Cup participants including Valanora who currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 54 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances.
• AO holds the record for Cup of Harmony tournaments hosted, with a total of 28 successfully hosted tournaments, partnered with the 16 1st place finishes AO brought home after the tournament.

Noting AO’s success on the international stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting league collectively known as AOlympics and it’s successful run in various international tournaments.

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Celebrating the partnership displayed by the governments of AO during Z-Day 7, who worked together to valiantly to protect the region from zombie hordes, which finished first in most survivors with no infected, with 3.81 trillion survivors,

Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of achievement in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse

[Sorianora]

The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) is the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large amount of sporting records including:

• The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia of AO.
• The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita and Valanora (5 each) of AO.
• The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.
• Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, hockey, and football,

Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate, thanks to the support from the residents of AO,

Proud of the number of commended nations residing in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of culture in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse

The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) was the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records including:

• The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia (6), while residing in AO.
• At the time of writing the most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each), and counting.
• The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.
• Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances.

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, ice hockey, and football,

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate behind the backing of the residents of AO,

Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of achievement in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse

[Eshialand]

The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

[Lenlyvit]

Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.

The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

[Outer Sparta]

Promising start, but work on formatting and other stylistic things.

American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.

[Bears Armed]

Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.

The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

[Eshialand]

Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.


Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

The nations that left included nations like Audioslavia, Krytenia, and Starblaydia, some of the first names anyone thinks of when they think of AO. See the pinned dispatch "The Declaration of Foxchester" in Anaia for more info on the seceding nations.

[Lenlyvit]

Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.


Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

[Unibot III]

Great work on a first draft! Lovely to finally see this taking shape.

[Eshialand]

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.

[Lenlyvit]

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.

Alright, that i understand. However, there's nothing wrong with drafting the proposal now and letting it sit for an extended period of time. Ultimately it's up to the author to decide when to submit it, and if it's too early before the wounds heal then it may fail.

[Sorianora]

The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

it’s merely unfortunate timing on my part due to how long it took me to finish the first draft.

Promising start, but work on formatting and other stylistic things.

American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.

The transition from Google Doc to forums wasn’t the smoothest and some of the formatting was messed up a bit.

I believe American Football is its official name and shouldn’t be an irl reference, but I may change it to Gridiron Football if needed.

[Nova Vandalia]

Hi there! First off I'm posting here so that way folks can't later invalidate my opinions on this due to arguing my timing was off when I commented on it.

AO sounds like a really fun region, and I think you should really express that little bit more, right? Sports are a lively things even RP sports, you get invested. I think it would be more emotionally appealing if you could find a way to include that into your draft, even if it's just changing some words to be more emotional.

like "The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita and Valanora (5 each) of AO." don't say shared say like "hotly contested"

"Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,"

Tell me more about those! How many nations participated? were they lively? Energetic? Highly competitive? Well Recieved?

"Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,"

You mean AO has continuously tackled the task of providing the oldest and longest running tournament never fumbling participation as they had high turn outs throughout the years.

I know I'm gonna be the only one but I want to feel the sports ;-; when I read a sports RP commend.

[Goobergunchia]

American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.

CG said that "American football" is fine but obviously either works. I'd also suggest specifying "ice hockey" to avoid confusion with the field version.

Will save a few spelling/grammar nitpicks for the next draft.

[Indusse]

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.

Well Noting that all these achievements were achieved by the respective nations while they were part of Atlantian Oceania and not Anaia, we can ignore the current turmoil and scandal. We should also note that the nations who left for Anaia where mainly from a specific part of their roleplay map (Northwest/Northeast), that means the new region existed in Atlantian Oceania as a province earlier.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Hi there! First off I'm posting here so that way folks can't later invalidate my opinions on this due to arguing my timing was off when I commented on it.

No, we’ll just invalidate them on the content.

Anyway, potshots aside, this is a reasonable first draft. I think this is your second or third serious attempt at a proposal and the improvement does show.

I will leave the fact checking to others more experienced in the NS Sports scene than me (which is just about anybody). As others have commented the formatting is a bit iffy and you also have various grammatical errors to fix (e.g. incorrect/irregular use of capital letters).

Look forward to the next draft.

Edit: just seen the bit in your preamble that this is your third attempt - so I did remember correctly.

[Electrum]

Yeah, it's a bit unclear as to who 'owns' these trophies/awards now that Star and Audio have moved to Anaia (long story, there's a discussion thread on NSS if you're interested). Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.

Could you fact check some of these by the way? Like how did you arrive at 37 WC titles.

There's also a lot of grammatical errors, as others have pointed out.

[Indusse]

Yeah, it's a bit unclear as to who 'owns' these trophies/awards now that Star and Audio have moved to Anaia (long story, there's a discussion thread on NSS if you're interested). Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.

Could you fact check some of these by the way? Like how did you arrive at 37 WC titles.

There's also a lot of grammatical errors, as others have pointed out.

The World Cup Committee based event facts were taken from the dispatches maintained by NSWC Signups. The Olympic Games Facts were from the NSS wiki page maintained. I agree that there's quite a lot of grammatical errors and we will surely fix them up.

[USS Monitor]

I think if you include things that Audio and Star did while in AO, you should be careful about the wording so it does not sound like they are still there.

[Sorianora]

Draft 2 is up. Small edits, not a ton of content added.

[Hulldom]

Going down this line by line.

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) was the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records including:

• The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia (6), while residing in AO.
  

Would have it be "The most elected World Cup Committee presidents, such as those from Atlantian Oceanian resident Starblaydia."

Better would be collating them and not mentioning Starblaydia directly.

The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each).

"37 Nationstates World Cup Titles, a record for one region.", leave out Starblaydia, again.

The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.

"A record number of World Cups hosted by an individual region" (Unsure if this is true, but again, I don't think you should laud the contributions of individuals in a regional commendation unless strictly necessary.)

Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances

.

This is probably not necessary, and if it is, should be focused on AO as a whole, not just on Valanora.

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

Regional? Also, what qualifies as "winning" an Olympics?

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, ice hockey, and football,

Would rather it be something like "Praising AO's numerous successful sporting leagues in a variety of internationally recognized games and activities."

Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Would reduce to "Applauding the 62 successful Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football tournaments-one of the oldest, longest-running, prestigious, and popular regional football tournaments in the world."

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate behind the backing of the residents of AO,

Relevant? AO's place in the community is certainly noteworthy, but is this their biggest achievement?

Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of culture in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania.

Co-Authored by Indusse[/blocktext][/box]

This is, or in my opinion should be, the only real mention of individual nations. Also "achievement" > "culture".

[The Python]

I know nothing about the nominee (I'm not an NS sports person!) but looks good.

[Krytenia]

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

...

Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

I'd suggest a slight re-wording of these two points.

One doesn't really win the Olympics as such. Also, a couple of these events have been co-hosted with non-AO nations, so I'd suggest:

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

With the AOCAF, it's actually the longest-running regional sports competition still active, so if anything the commendation is underselling. How about:

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Other than that, it's a commendation long overdue for AO in my opinion, albeit one with somewhat unfortunate timing. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a "Condemn Anaia" proposal just around the corner to truly round things off.

[Audioslavia]

Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.

I agree with this, fwiw. There's no official tally of how many trophies any region has. If there were an official tally it'd more likely follow Wikipedia's system of listing the nation with whatever flag they had at the time and whatever region they had at the time.

[Sorianora]

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

...

Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

I'd suggest a slight re-wording of these two points.

One doesn't really win the Olympics as such. Also, a couple of these events have been co-hosted with non-AO nations, so I'd suggest:

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

With the AOCAF, it's actually the longest-running regional sports competition still active, so if anything the commendation is underselling. How about:

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Other than that, it's a commendation long overdue for AO in my opinion, albeit one with somewhat unfortunate timing. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a "Condemn Anaia" proposal just around the corner to truly round things off.

Great suggestions, thank you!