World Lacrosse Championships XXXVII--Everything Thread

[Taxonomic Kingdoms]

THE SOPHIA REGISTER

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Intelligent News For Intelligent Life

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Latest stories:

Fruit Robbery Leads to Friction Between Plant Kingdom and Virias

The Floral Bureau of Investigation has expressed frustration at the lack of cooperation from Viral governments, as they attempt to determine what John Baldwin, the man responsible for Friday's fruit robbery in Appleton, was doing in the Taxonomic Kingdoms. The FBI believes that Baldwin may have come from one of the human communities in the Virias. More than 99% of the Taxonomic Kingdoms' human population lives in the Virias, with a majority concentrated in the cities of Bamford, BF and Viraemia, OR. "Orthornavirae and Bamford are two of the most obvious places that Baldwin could have come from, but the local authorities have been really unhelpful," said Hedera Helix, a spokesplant for the FBI. "I'm lucky if they answer the phone, and every email they send sets off my antivirus software."

Although it is possible that Baldwin came directly from Earth, it would have been far more difficult for him to cross the border and enter the Plant Kingdom from that direction. There is no indication of how he could have found a border crossing without help from a native of the kingdoms.

T.M.V. Tobamovirus, a spokesgoddess for the Orthornaviraean Royal Guard, defended the RNA kingdom's handling of the case, saying, "If you are expecting an important email from the viral kingdoms, maybe you shouldn't be using antivirus software. Also, what is the big [expletive] deal about the fruit from that one tree? It's just a [expletive] tree!"

The Bamford Sheriff's Office did not return our request for comment.

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Dinosaurs Have Difficulty Accessing Online Services, Survey Finds

In recent years, government agencies in Animalia have introduced many online services meant to improve accessibility for large megafauna who do not fit through the door of brick and mortar offices. However, a recent survey has found that 47% of dinosaur deities still struggle to access essential government services. Many dinosaurs do not have internet connections in their homes or do not know how to use a computer.

Although many streets and canals are wide enough to accommodate megafauna, the interior doors and hallways in government offices are not always large enough to accommodate these species in their natural sizes. Experts say it is psychologically harmful when deities are unable to access essential services in their natural form.

This survey highlights the need for improved public education, not only for youth, but also for older deities who need help keeping abreast of modern social and technological developments.

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Hermit Crabs Go on the Attack Against San Lucas Agua Tibia

The Hermit Crabs won a wild game against San Lucas Agua Tibia at the World Lacrosse Championship. Defense was sloppy on both sides, but the crabs were relentless on the attack and they emerged victorious with a final score of 11-13.

"It's not every day you see us crabs hustling like that," Dardanus Arrosor said of the game.

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Opinion: Just Because You Are the God of Elephants Does Not Mean You Need Three Parking Spaces
The opinions expressed below are those of the author and do not reflect the views of the Sophia Register.

I am a Protozoan who has lived and worked in Animalia for the last 800 years. It has mostly been a positive experience. I have met many fascinating and beautiful creatures. But there is one thing I cannot get used to, and that is the gods who create animals that are thousands of times larger than they need to be and then complain that they do not have enough room. Instead of shrinking down to a reasonable size, they block doorways and drive gigantic cars that clog up parking lots and cause massive traffic jams.

Before moving to Animalia I used to think nothing could be worse than those amoebas who punch you in the side because they can't be bothered to watch where they are going. Then I got stuck in the same parking garage with a hippopotamus. There should be a maximum size for animals -- and cars. Do you really need a car that takes up three parking spaces? Animalian parking spaces are already hundreds of times the size of the ones we have in Protozoa. I don't understand what anyone needs with that much space, never mind three of them.

[Har Yarok]

Player Profile

Name: Bartholomew Boas Abraham

Vital stats: 23 years old, 5’9”, 182 pounds

Team: Beershaba LC

Day job: Accountant

Athletic profile: Bart Abraham left Beit Karmod University a relatively unheralded, considered undersized and without a prolific scoring record to his name, but racked up Rookie of the Year awards once he signed with Beershaba. An accountant by day and every inch the mild-mannered stereotype of that strait-laced profession in his personal manner, on the field he transformed into a speed demon who finished joint third in goals scored. With an ability to beat defenders for pace and get off shots from awkward angles, he’s roved between attackman and offensive midfield positions with equal comfort, and proved a popular team man capable of adapting his style to fit a variety of systems. A rare true goalscorer without much ego, he’s still happy setting up assists and deferring to his teammates when marked tightly – but can score almost at will from open play when left uncovered.

Favorite mecha anime: Z-Beetle Power Monk!

[Bollonich]

Lacrosse Live

Hello and Welcome back to Lacrosse Live with me your host Tilda Raghnall, after Bollonich’s fabulous win over Northwest Kalactin it is time to look ahead. And up ahead lies Cassadaigua, a legendary team in the realm of sports. It is time we look at Cassadaigua’s Road here from the last Lacrosse World Championship. Cassadaigua was drawn into group A along with Sylestone, Havynwilde, Juvencus, Silvendia and Saint-Domingues. Their first fixture was going to be a tough one, as it was against Sylestone the host nation. Sylestone defeated Cassadaigua 6-2 just like they did in this version where the defeat was more heavy with a margin of 13-5. Seems like Sylestone has quite the reputation of defeating Cassadaigua, maybe it’d be worth The Bandits to call up some of those sentient objects. After receiving a bye in the 2nd match day, Cassadaigua faced Havynwilde and beat them, this might’ve come as a surprise for Havynwilde as they had just beaten Sylestone in the last match day. Cassadaigua then moved uptown 2nd spot after defeating Saint-Domingues, and the only team above them was Silvedania who had played 4 games. The group stages were heating up with Cassadaigua leading the pack. Another huge victory and more points meant Cassadaigua was tied with the group leaders Sylestone, and in the next match day both Cassadaigua and Sylestone confirmed qualification into the knockout round of the WLC 36. Cassadaigua eventually qualified as group leaders with 10 points. In the Round of 16 Cassadaigua showed their class, and moved onto the Quarterfinals with ease where they would face the hosts of this year’s tournament Baker Park. The match against Baker Park which was to be tightly contested, showed no signs of competition as Cassadaigua beat Baker Park 18-8. Cassadaigua came face to face with HUElavia the team that had just knocked out Vangaziland. The match was close, but The Dagan as the champions they are moved forward into the final with flory in their mind where they cam face to face against Abanhfleft who had beaten Banija to reach the finals. The showdown between Cassadaigua and Abanhfleft was heated and extremely challenging but to the disappointment of the Dagan Abanhfleft came on top, a defeat that probably stung the Dagans pretty bad. The Dagan came into the 37th WLC with revenge on their mind, with the prestigious trophy in their Wishlist. Things so far haven’t been outwardly favourable for them as they only have 3 points out of 3 games but it is to be noted that their last two games are against the two unranked teams in their group, Bollonich and Sannyamathland. For Bollonich a win would be crucial to get vital points needed to advance into the knockout rounds. The Bandits while wanting to win against The Dagan would also like to hope that other results in the group go their way. Bandits fans will mainly have their eyes on the game between Sannyamathland and Northwest Kalactin where they would want a NWK win to deny Sannyamathland vital points needed for their qualification. However a lot of suspense will be cleared tomorrow as a lot of vital results will be put in, and it’s the sincere hope that Bollonich can also get a positive result.

[Sarzonia]

Unlike the result on Matchday 2 against the third ranked team in the multiverse, the Sarzonian national lacrosse team had little reason to not expect to be on the right end of a 19-5 drubbing of unranked Xabia.

The Stars are the fifth ranked team in the multiverse and have five World Lacrosse Championship trophies sitting at the team offices adjacent to Franz Braddock Stadium in Woodstock. Xabia haven't even bothered to identify the 10 players who lined up against the Sarzonian starting 10.

Faceoffs were again the story for Sarzonia as the team improved to 3-0. Sarzonia won 21 of 27 faceoffs during the match. The defence also forced three midfield violations and captured 20 ground balls and stifled the Xabian offence, which only scored two goals in the last 38:43 of game time.

"We wanted to apply pressure on them defensively and we wanted to execute well on offence," Sarzonia manager Jordan Helms said. "We played a phenomenal match, especially during the last two quarters-plus."

Xabia (1-2) actually led first when their faceoff specialist won the opening draw and charged down the field, beating Sarzonia goaltender Matt Henning with a bouncing shot to stun the Stars partisans lined up on the north side of the field. Just 11 seconds in, Sarzonia were trailing 1-0 to a team that may have won a match, but certainly didn't provide any fanfare. Stars FOGO Noah Ryanson won the subsequent draw and ended up assisting on a Nick Loewen marker to draw the score level at 1 just 12 seconds later. After that, the teams traded goals to end the first quarter level at 3.

That's when Sarzonia went to work. The Stars scored two goals through Colin Grassley and Martin Page, then Xabia got a goal to cut the margin to 5-4 at the 7:17 mark of the second quarter. Xabia wouldn't score again until garbage time in the fourth quarter as Sarzonia scored 14 straight goals to close the door on the underdogs.

The result give Sarzonia a favourable position with two matches remaining in the group stage. They face Devonta, which just got crushed by Quebec & Shingoryeo 16-6, then they wrap up against the latter team. However, defensive coordinator Makeeyah Brantley said she wanted her charges to continue to attack the opposing offences.

"We can't let up," she said. "We have a goal in mind, and that's to win our sixth title. We can't take our foot off the gas pedal."

[Cassadaigua]

Fillies Lose By A Touchdown,
By Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

If winning heals all wounds, losing can open up them up again. After Cassadaigua was thoroughly outplayed for the second game, losing 17-10 to Banija, the frustration has become pretty apparent. At 1-2, no one is going to completely write this team off yet, so let’s not get too extreme, but that 9-6 win over still winless Northwest Kalactin raises a few more eyebrows, too. Maybe that should have been a little better. It’s still early, and theoretically, the Fillies should defeat their next two opponents. Though the way they have played, I don’t know who is that optimistic.

Against Banija, we were hoping for a better matchup, but the Banijans had their way with us, jumping out to a 5-1 lead, and at no point thereafter was Cassadaigua able to get within three goals of their opponent. They have a great side, and Allen Budaye managed a great game. The strategy of the Banijans varied throughout the game, and Sarah Cortez was unable to make the proper adjustments, Their scoring was well balanced, which is a credit to their ability, but also seems to show how they were able to do anything they wanted out there. Cassadaigua does have a young defense, as this was the one area that saw the most turnover from the last World Lacrosse Championships. Perhaps this is part of the story of the team, that they are showing their inexperience. Why would Cortez have such a young corps in the back to begin with? Well, we weren’t criticizing that to begin with, so doing so now is unfair.

Then, there is Jessica Crockett, the 38-year old captain. There is plenty of experience with her, and people were mostly confident that her age would not be an issue since she is not the type of player who has relied on speed, and her stamina has not seemed to be affected. She has struggled, with two goals against Northwest Kalactin and one against Sylestone. This is someone who was expected to be our leading scorer, so in two games, that is not getting the job done. Against Banija, she would have the chance to redeem herself, but that would not happen. Crockett was once again shut down. If this was just one game, against a nation of Banija’s stature, we would not worry about it all that much, but her two goal effort in this game is well below her average. Shelby Chandler had a strong game, with four goals after being shut out against Sylestone. Coach Cortez says that she will be sticking with Crockett, “Jessica is still the best player on this team, so she will continue to play.” Not much substance in that quote, making us continue to wonder if she, figuratively, has a gun to Cortez’s head concerning her playing time, but Crockett certainly has not been the best player on this team

Others, such as Kelsey Barker and Lexi Looper have also been shut down. In fact, have I even talked about Kelsey yet this tournament? If she is not giving me much reason to talk about her, then there is a problem with that too. Barker is a midfield player, and along with Looper , they need to be getting the ball to Crockett so Jessica can work her magic. They have not been doing this, so you could make the argument that Crockett should not be criticized too much. The good news for everyone is that there is still two games left to go, and second place in the group is still there for the taking if we are able to beat our final two opponents. But before we can worry about second place, the first concern needs to be playing better. We have to take care of our own problems first.

[Sannyamathland]

Sannyamathland Team Bus
As the players of the Sannyamathland national lacrosse team boarded their Team Bus, almost all of them burst into applause. In their debut world cup campaign, they have won two back to back matches, after loosing their opening match against a strong Banijan national team. All the players were celebrating, singing songs, dancing and whistling. Even the bus driver and their head coach joined them. Although it's true, that the tournament is not yet over, and they have two more matches left in the group stages, yet their celebration went on.

All the players were celebrating, except one. Oleksander Hayduk, avoided all the celebrations and sat quietly in one corner. He was one of the youngest members of the squad, and all the others knew that he was something of an introvert. So nobody decided to call him to join them. 20 year old Hayduk, sat in the last seat of the bus, and stared out of the window. A face appeared before his eyes, the face of his father, Alexander Hayduk. The haggard features of the poor man's face were almost visible in front of Hayduk, the bushy beard, the long hair and his trademark glasses.

Oleksander was a bright boy during his childhood days. He scored the top marks in school, and his teachers predicted that he will surely become a great man in the future. His father was very proud of his boy, and had always wanted his son to become wither a government official or a politician in his life. Oleksander was born to a very poor family. His father was a cobbler, while his mother was a maid. His childhood was spent in abject poverty, with his parents struggling to provide adequate food to Oleksander and his 3 brothers. Yet, Oleksander always got the best of opportunities because he was a meritorious student and his father was sure that one day he would make them proud.

When Oleksander was 12 year old, he was introduced to the game of Lacrosse by his girlfriend of American origin, Julie Marley. His father never approved of this relationship between his son and a girl of American origin. Alexander hated Americans, and called them 'Hungry Pigs'. However, the game of Lacorsse griped Oleksander. He started spending more and more time playing it, and soon came to realise that he has great talent in the sport. Oleksander secretly joined the Marthgrad Lacrosse Academy, the only Lacrosse academy in the country. Lacrosse has never been a major sport in Sannyamathland. However, Oleksander's talent soon earned him the attention of the Academy Director Viktor Ulisdyev, the man who would later go onto establish the Soviet Lacrosse Federation. Learning of his poverty, Ulisdyev agreed to teach him for free, but the fact that his son is playing an 'American' sport horrified Alexander. Moreover, the practical Alexander understood that Lacrosse, unlike other mainstream sports like football or hockey, did not promised a bright future. But Oleksander was not as pratical as his father. He declared that his only passion is Lacrosse and knew nothing else. Very soon, young Hayduk's grades started spiraling downwards as he started devoting more and more time in the sport. This made Alexander even more angry. Family feud became a common thing for the Hayduk family. After learning of his son's talent, Oleksander's mother decided to support his son, no matter what the cost.

Finally, Alexander have had enough, and one day he asked his 18 year old son to make a decision. Either stop playing Lacrosse, reconcile with his father or play Lacrosse and leave the house. Oleksander was adamant. He chose the latter. From that day onwards, the 18 year old had never returned to his home. He remained true to his cause, but he could not fulfil his father's wish. The poor old man, shocked at his son's behaviour, resorted to alcohol and snapped himself away from the world. Finally, the heartbroken man died last year, suffering a massive cerebral hemorrhage. His son couldn't fulfil his dreams. Oleksander did not became a government official. But he fulfilled his own dreams. Oleksander became a Lacrosse sensation and represented his country in their debut World Cup campaign.

Tears started rolling down Oleksander's cheeks, as he thought about this. He had been a bad son. He couldn't fulfil his father's dreams. He broke his father's heart, which he believes, ultimately lead to his father's death. Oleksander thought, was he a murderer? He didn't knew.

[Kriegiersien]

Canteen

“Look.”
Dolores pointed at the first table with the Xvarts.

Harry looked at the table.
“Yes. The Xvarts are eating...something. I don’t know. Fish? They like fish.”

“Doesn’t matter. What is with this table?”

“There are the Zombies sitting. Hm...is this a brain? Makes sense.”

“It is vegan jelly. But not the point. Look at the next tables.”

“The Orcs and then our two human players. Ok, I get it, everyone is for himself.”

“Yes, if you want more team spirit, put the team together. You are good in that.”

“But the team is together on the field.”

“That is not enough. The Xvarts trust you. But you should learn a bit more about the other factions.”

“I think I know enough about humans. But...the Zombies….”

“Go over there and talk a bit more with them. You will be surprised. I have to rebandage a Xvart who got hit too hard at the head in the match against Qzvarkian Qaz.”

She shoved him to the table with the Zombie players.


“May I sit down?”, he asked, realising with relief that they were really eating jelly.

“Of course”, said the big, brutal looking one with many deadly scars, while the other three just nodded.

“So...how is training?”, he muttered.

“It is ok. But we are playing not enough over the wings and without taking over the guard enough. It is really different from our approach. The Xvarts are playing..chaotic”, the big one said.

“Errr… Brian it was?”, Harry said. “That is an .. interesting analyses.”

“I am doing one for every game, an hour or two study of video material and numbers. I even have a software written for attack moves with numbers for the defense parameter. We are using that a lot at home. Worked very well for us. We are national champions!”
The four Zombies gave each other high fives, whereupon one lost his eye and had to put it back into the socket.

“I was software engineer before becoming undead. Have you seen the adapting rate of the midfield from Delaclava? Real question, because I have not enough Data about them", Brian said, while munching a bit of the jelly.

“He is the brain of the team”, said the scrawny one of the four, showing a near toothless grin.

“Fascinating. And do you share your knowledge with the chief?”

“He is not so in this ‘computerthings’. The most modern thing I saw him use was googles.”

“Hm. See, I would love to hear a bit of your tactical ideas and analyses, if I might?”

“Sure. I can show you some graphs on my laptop. Meet me at my room in the afternoon.”

Harry was thrilled and didn’t think at that moment that that could become a problem.

[HUElavia]

Close Match keeps HUElavia Alive!

HUElavia 11–8 Qasden

Coming off the difficult loss to Sarzonia, HUElavia was now tasked with taking on another formidable opponent in Qasden. The HUElavian supporters came in droves to support the squad, while the main X was in play. Once the ball rolled, the match was underway!

The match was a see-saw match with goals being scored left and right. Sulca and Meireles got hat-tricks each, while Bohn and Gollancz each got two goals, and a single goal for Aleksandrovna. Meanwhile, REDACTED and REDACTED got hat-tricks each, and REDACTED and REDACTED got a goal each. While Qasden was hot on Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos, the team held out and got a vital victory to stay alive.

The team sits in 3rd Place with 6 Points (2-1), and will be facing off against Xabia, where the B-Team will start for the match. The fans continue to flock to the stadium, hoping to give the best "home-field advantage" for the team. Here's to another win!

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Sylestone]

Elliot Nicholson:
Welcome back to Sewer News on Channel 420! I am Elliot Nicholson, your presenter for this evening. Today has been another interesting day in terms of news, and we’ll get right into it.
Today’s breaking news has been quite significant. Three young boys, 6, 7 and 10 respectively, have been killed while crossing the road in Heytesbury, Chamberley. It occurred at 7:45am this morning, with the three siblings heading off to school when a car on Ravens Road next to them lost control and ran into them. Amber Joyce is at the scene for us today.

Amber Joyce:
Thank you, Mr Nicholson. Yes, I’m here in Southern Chamberley in the suburb of Heytesbury at the scene where three boys were killed earlier this morning after a car went rogue. The 22-year-old man behind the wheel was speeding, travelling at 82 km/h along this road, which is a 60 km/h zone. It has been proven that he was well over the alcohol limit, and is set to front court later this week.

Elliot Nicholson:
Our best wishes go out to the family during their state of grief. Next up we have an update on Cyclone Arnold, the system that has hit Tuthambedon over the past few days. The storm seems to be dissipating without an extreme amount of damage, however, word has been released that there have been two people admitted to hospital with relatively minor injuries. Scarlett Cramp is joining us once again to report.

Scarlett Cramp:
Thank you, Elliot. I’m still in the safety of my home here in southern Tuthambedon, rest assured. The low pressure system that was Cyclone Arnold has all but dissipated now, with only strong winds and rain in its place. Unfortunately, the cyclone has still made its mark.
It is estimated that roughly the cyclone’s damage is worth roughly 25 million Sylestonean dollars, a fair amount, but certainly nowhere near irreparable. However, two people have been injured after their roof blew in yesterday at 4pm. They have both been admitted to the National Tuthambedon Hospital in the city centre, but are both in a stable condition. We wish them all the best. And that’s it from me!

Elliot Nicholson:
There has been yet another earthquake off the coast of the New Gloucester state, near Felton Island. It was only at 4.7 on the Richter Scale, and there is no threat of a tsunami. People in the area, however, are asked to be on guard as more tremors are likely.
Now, every Sylestoneans favourite part of the program - the Sport! Jacob Ricketson, as always, will report for us.

Jacob Ricketson:
There’s so much to report today! As we covered two nights ago, Sylestone’s national Aussie Rules team played their final against Sarzonia last night. Unfortunately, their opponents were simply too good for them, defeating the Hawthorns 114-76. It was their own fault, though. They actually scored more goals and behinds together than the Stars, but 22 of their 31 were only worth one point, which threw away the possible victory.
In the lacrosse world, the Sylestonean side has continued their historic up-and-down ways. Following their 14-9 loss to Bollonich, Brianna King’s side bounced back with a 13-5 win over Cassadaigua to put Sylestone in second on the table. Riding on a high after the victory, though, they could not back it up, losing 11-9 to yet another unranked side, Sannyamathland, to put their progression hopes in jeopardy. Tomorrow’s game is against Banija, number two in the world. A loss looks likely, which will eliminate the Sylestonean side. Can they provide yet another upset?
That’s it from me today, back to you, Elliot.

Elliot Nicholson:
Make sure you all tune in for it, it’s on this channel at 2:15pm tomorrow. Our last stop now is the weather. Ethan Boote, Channel 420’s weatherman, reports.

Ethan Boote:
The dry season has all but hit us, now. Only one city, Chamberley, even has a prospect of rain tomorrow. Even that is only a 25% chance of 0-5 ml, with a top of 27C. Avondale seems to be set for a heatwave, hitting a top of 36C tomorrow after a 34C day today. Betham is set for another beautiful day, with a 31C day tomorrow ideal for holidayers along the beach. Pesfield is expecting a cool one, with only a top of 25C, while Cleorough’s forecast is for a 27C day, much like here in Chamberley, but without any rain. In the city of Sentients, Kirkham, temperatures are expected to reach a top of 34C, while in the desert in Halpenley, 40C is expected.
That’s it from me today.

Elliot Nicholson:
And from me, too! Join us back again tomorrow, same time, on Channel 420. Next up is How To Build a Fridge from scratch by our favourite fridge-building-guy, James Fridge!

[Quebec and Shingoryeo]

Now And Forever

PART 9.2. (66.2) - Truth Is A Beautiful Thing

Her Version

Eileen de Ramaut’s at the end of a month-long stay in Montreal. Sooner than later, she was going to be flying abroad for one last time, something that those of the industry would know to be particularly challenging. But Eileen was still unsure about it all, and there was nothing to say that the fear was any lesser than a few weeks ago. Her family, the longtime friends of hers back home, and all those who stood by her side in her band and the touring crew, and of course her manager Janet, who couldn’t hide their excitement about the news, behaved as if it was bound to happen. Eileen may have been the only one, at this point in time, who was truly feeling the quiet clock tick, as if a nun’s walking along the halls in the middle of an ungodly hour.

It was truly odd how the times have turned out this way, as the twenty-seven year old woman stood conscious of the world that stood in front of her with joy. It was an unexpected result of the love that was quietly shaking from its foundations for the past year, but Eileen, feeling the warmth of sunshine-like love for the future child, blissfully embraced it all. It wasn’t easy for her, as often the future child would move on its own and wander, occasionally waking her up in the middle of the night, but at the same time the newfound sense of joy brought her the god-given delight.

All those who she loved supported her, and their words of encouragement were more than enough to keep the race going. They all understood how challenging the situation has been for a couple that was still deciding their next steps, so it was perhaps of no one’s surprise that they were so attentive, pleasant and understanding enough to the point where life felt all too merciful for the young woman.

The only downside with it that made what has been a past month of congratulations and salutations, ahead of one more send-off, was that the nights did not necessarily make the best of their companions, as they would have been so in the country or away. Eileen liked his genuine, curious and good-natured manner in the mornings, and the enquiring self in the afternoons. In the evenings, as they would sometimes go outside, he seemed constantly moody and conscious of their settings, as if he was worried of the lost half-decade or any potential harm to her. When they were strolling in Saint-John-Upon-Battersea, behaving himself to be the odd figure in the countryside, Asher was never concerned about where they were going. Back in Montreal, he was always worried, feeling powerless on any evenings he spent alone as he waited for her to come back when it’s late.

And she felt sorry for her partner, for she knew what was weighing down onto him. To some, especially those who knew him so little, Asher Lundrigan had all the elements of posh and the brash, and held not one bit of pity on anyone. Eileen knew that, but also knew why that was a wrong assessment- Sometimes, when they would be sharing same circles, mostly without any particular intention, Eileen saw in his courtesy and expressive face that he, even with all the awareness and capability of being a right figure, was more afraid than cold.

But Eileen saw him not just from him of the previous year, but with footnotes from their first stints of happiness as well- Eileen saw that Asher was doing his best to get back what he had lost, and she knew the casual moments of natural joy was something that was going to take time to return. So whenever they would discuss about moving back to the city and casual enquiries would end up into arguments, often she recognised that the fear was over how difficult it was to look into a puddle of rainwater on an old pool of Coxwell Park’s estate, and see the clarity.

What would a young man like Asher be supposed to do there? Asher held no interest in cricket, or playing sports this late in his life’s clock. Driving all the way to the Twin Cities of Habpo and Saint John, to find some moments of casual socialisation, Eileen wasn’t as sure on the very idea, for that usually had meant going to the dockyards for casual observations or to find fresh catch on the fish markets. The same had applied to the idea of Asher being among the company of her siblings and cousins, or writing his works in the town or the Park. With former, they loved Asher and he liked them back too, but relaxed demeanour were disarming enough but also kept him aware and guilty, high horse over fear of disappointing them like what happened the first time, and the latter idea simply have never taken off in his mind. Perhaps the questions stood over whether it would be possible for him to be seen while not being seen in somewhere crowded, and she didn’t have an answer to it.

Now, dear reader, one advantage in living in a big city was that the city itself had enough alleyways to hide away much of explanations behind what had happened earlier, or what had eventually resulted in the unexpected. Whether that was because of the lack of tracking application some couples would have on each other’s MyPhones, or that they simply held enough faith on each other, Eileen and Asher always kept rooms for surprises, which they had to take the past year of their relationship to bring back some room for what was lost. And it was then that the particular moment of realisation was to happen, and that’s where we are being transported...

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Cutoff.

Will you need some assistance finding your way home when this MD is over?

Group A
Abanhfleft 13–8 Taxonomic Kingdoms
Qzvarkian Qaz 12–16 San Lucas Agua Tibia
Delaclava 8–14 Kriegiersien

  Group A                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Kriegiersien               4   4  0   57  30    +27   12
2 Abanhfleft                 4   3  1   50  26    +24    9
3 Taxonomic Kingdoms         4   2  2   41  44     −3    6
4 Qzvarkian Qaz              4   2  2   39  54    −15    6
5 San Lucas Agua Tibia       4   1  3   44  50     −6    3
6 Delaclava                  4   0  4   26  53    −27    0

Group B
Har Yarok 9–10 Kohnhead
Nyowani Kitara 10–20 Baker Park
Kandonica 11–13 Vangaziland

  Group B                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Baker Park                 4   4  0   67  32    +35   12
2 Vangaziland                4   3  1   45  39     +6    9
3 Kohnhead                   4   2  2   40  41     −1    6
4 Har Yarok                  4   2  2   46  50     −4    6
5 Nyowani Kitara             4   1  3   45  52     −7    3
6 Kandonica                  4   0  4   32  61    −29    0

Group C
Sylestone 9–9 Banija (9–11 OT)
Bollonich 9–9 Cassadaigua (10–11 OT)
Sannyamathland 13–5 Northwest Kalactin

  Group C                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Banija                     4   4  0   50  30    +20   12
2 Sannyamathland             4   3  1   40  33     +7    9
3 Bollonich                  4   2  2   52  47     +5    7
4 Cassadaigua                4   2  2   35  46    −11    6
5 Sylestone                  4   1  3   40  41     −1    4
6 Northwest Kalactin         4   0  4   26  53    −27    0

Group D
Qasden 8–21 Quebec & Shingoryeo
Sarzonia 14–2 United States of Devonta
HUElavia 18–5 Xabia

  Group D                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Sarzonia                   4   4  0   63  21    +42   12
2 HUElavia                   4   3  1   46  37     +9    9
3 Quebec & Shingoryeo        4   2  2   49  43     +6    6
4 United States of Devonta   4   2  2   27  42    −15    6
5 Xabia                      4   1  3   36  54    −18    4
6 Qasden                     4   0  4   28  52    −24    0

qualified for playoffs
eliminated

[Bollonich]

Lacrosse Today

Bollonischian Lacrosse fans were glued to their screens, anxiously awaiting the results of the matches. Two results were going to be crucial, our own match against Cassadaigua and Sannyamathland vs Northwest Kalactin. Sannyamathland showed the same quality they had shown to beat Sylestone and even Bollonich. What followed was a thrashing of Northwest Kalactin with a scoreline of 13-5. Bollonich’s match however wasn’t his straightforward. They were face to face with the Dagan aka the team that had come as runners up in last years tournament. Cassadaigua hadn’t had the best run in the 37th WLC yet but they are highly capable and skilled, and had only lost to Sylestone and Banija. However these losses that Cassadaigua endured gave the Bandits confidence and hope. The match started and both teams were more or less equal. There was no difference in display of skill. Both teams were giving it their all. This highly competitive first quarter showed signs of what was to come, a match worthy of being shown in its entirety in any cinema hall and being declared a thriller. AT the end of the 4th quarter the score was 9-9 both teams had given their all but the Overtime was yet to come. Overtime saw highly tired players still give it their all but a lead Cassadaigua took was never retrieved again. In the end the scoreline read 11-10 after Overtime. The Dagans had overcome the challenge posed by the Bandits. The Bandits had fought valiantly but the Dagan came on top. Corvinian had again pulled out the big guns while scoring, netting 6 goals being helped by Tim Brune his attacking partner who netted 4. Matchday 3 was a very exciting match day for Group C as a number of great matches took place namely the games between Cassadaigua and Bollonich and Sylestone and Banija which also went into overtime with the score reading 11-9 after overtime. Chelsea Dufresne of Cassadaigua’s Concord Heights Times said and I quote, “Unrankeds Sannyamathland and Bollonich have signed up to be victims of us and Banija.” And today as a Bollonischian I am proud that we have proven the Dagan wrong, I am proud of what our boys have achieved, and I firmly believe that we shall do the same against The Banijans. The manager of the Bandits commented on the game with his words being, "Today the boys have made each and every member of the Lacrosse World proud. We have shown our skill and determination to achieve a result we should be proud of. However our jobs are not done, we aspire to qualify and hence it is integral that we win against Banija or else we’ll have to depend on other results for qualification which isn’t ideal for us.”

Qualifying scenario for The Bandits
If we win
Qualification will be insured without any dependence on other results, with us qualifying with 10 points and as 2nd if Sannyamathland loses and as 3rd if Sannyamathland wins.
If we lose
Qualification will depend on the result in the match between Sannyamathland and Cassadaigua with a Dagan loss sending us through as 3rd in the group irrespective of whether Sylestone wins or loses.

Bandits Goalscoring Leaderboard
Name                 Mt Pld      Goals
Corvinian Gervasio     4          28
Tim Brune             2(1)        12
Anup Peterson          4          7
Proteus Verity         2          2
Ottó Horn              4          1
Lukas Gumtka           4          1

~Siamion Tyra

[Taxonomic Kingdoms]

RED NEWS

---

TODAY'S HEADLINES

LOCAL: Paramecium God Adopts Stray Cat
In a heart-warming story that illustrates the interconnectedness of all life, Paramecium Novaurelia has adopted a stray cat from an Earthly slum.

CHROMISTA: Redford Proposes Strategic Algal Blooms in Retaliation for Marine Pollution
Algal blooms could be used to sabotage water treatment facilities in industrial cities and fishing ports that have played a critical role in marine habitat destruction.

TAXONOMIC KINGDOMS: Bamford Court Rules Child Sex Traffickers Can Go Straight to Hell
A Bamfordviraean Court has ruled that two men convicted of kidnapping and assault in connection with a child sex trafficking ring can be deported directly to Hell without being returned to Earth or facing Judgement before their own God.

UNDERWORLD: Excessive Use of Antibacterial Soap Causes Sanitation Crisis in the Afterlife
Elysium and Valhalla report food in the underworld is spoiling unusually fast -- nearly as fast as on Earth -- due to an influx of dead bacteria. Hell reports widespread outbreaks of disease.

EARTH: Crab God Coenobita Purpureus Missing in Baker Park
The Animalia Hermit Crabs had to take on Abanhfleft without their best defender after Coenobita Purpureus went missing shortly before the game. Teammates say the cute purple crab may have been adopted by a local child looking for a new pet.

[Har Yarok]

Player Profile

Name: Ari Gedeon Mowshowitz

Vital stats: 30 years old, 5’8”, 184 pounds

Team: Yavnit LC

Day job: Office supplies salesman

Athletic profile: Before he traded in for the life of a literal pencil pusher, Ari Mowshowitz was quite the star at Beit Karmod University. Formerly the speedy tyro who terrorized college defenses with his speed and brought a more sophisticated understanding of tactics from team spent playing overseas on a year abroad, the rather sad, balding figure he cuts today is something of a step down from the player he was once capable of becoming. He still trots out to play with Yavnit but has lost much of his speed and as such lacks the physical presence to make much impact from the midfield role.

Hobbies: Darts, number puzzles, NIMBY activism.

[Banija]

Banija records back to back wins over Cassadaigua and Sylestone to win their group at WLC XXXVII


Banijans celebrate an overtime goal against Sylestone

KELLERVILLE, COMMONWEALTH OF BAKER PARK- Matchdays 3 and 4 were considered the toughest pairing of matchups for Banija in this tournament. Matchday 3? Taking on the defending silver medalists, and #7 team in the multiverse, Cassadaigua. And Matchday 4? Then taking on the last tournament's hosts, and #12 in the world, Sylestone. Both teams had designs on beating Banija, and those two games would go a long way in determining how the group's final table would look.

Fortunately for Banija, we would win both games. We looked particularly impressive in our matchup with the Dagans. We ran out to a 5-1 lead, and then we never led by less than 3 goals the rest of the way. So we basically led from wire to wire against one of the best teams in the world, against a team who was literally just in a final in this sport. A lot of credit was given to Coach Budaye for his mixing up of strategies, and his ability to keep Cassadaigua on their toes. As soon as they got small spurts of momentum in the match, he was able to continuously make the right subsitutions, and tactical changes, to make sure they could never really get going. Banija ultimately won that game, 17-10.

This game against Sylestone was a much tighter affair. Brianna King is just 23 years old, and yet, is the future of Sylestone lacrosse. But she's not only the future- the 23 year old is also the present. She's going to be an anchor in this tournament for a long time, one of the world's lacrosse superstars. She's already been named the national team captain, and wears the armband proudly. And, as far as we can tell, her being given the captaincy makes her the player-coach. A ton of responsibility heaped on the 23 year old, but she's performed admirably so far. She scored the equalizing goal with less than 10 seconds left to deflate our squad and force overtime in the first place.

The answer? Four more minutes. After about 2 and a half minutes, with 1:30 left in overtime, it would be Sara Jawara weaving her way through the Sylestone squad to find the match winner for herself. She launched her shot past the Sylestone goaltender, who could do nothing about it, as she stepped up to give her squad a 10-9 lead during the game as her squad celebrated. About 40 seconds later, as Sylestone was putting big time pressure on Banija, it would be a Bobbicevic III interception that would end it. The captain swiped a Sylestone pass, and then launched a perfect long pass to a streaking Kebba Thiaw. Thiaw caught it, muscled his way past a Sylestone defender, and scored to make it a 2 goal game and end the challenger's hopes.

That put Banija at 4-0 in the tournament. And with a team we've beaten, Sannyamathland, being the only 3 win team in the group, that means we've not only clinched a berth in the knockout stages, but that we've clinched a first round bye to the quarterfinals. Coach Budaye talked about that. "Winning the group is always the goal, but it is particularly important with a format such as this one. An earned bye is as good as a win. We advance directly to the quarterfinals, and that'll give us a few extra days for our guys to heal up and get healthy as they try to get ready for the stretch run."

And according to him, there would be no resting anyone for their final group match against Bollonich. "Look, we have a bye, so we'll have plenty of time to rest up in the Round of 12. We're going to go all out to try and beat Bollonich. They've got a young team, and are fresh to the international stage, but they've been a bastion of excellence so far. There's a lot of things to like about them. And they've got a lot on the line- they've got to beat us to make the next round. It'll give our boys a taste of what knockout stage lacrosse will be like here in Baker Park."

While Budaye will never say it, seeding is a concern. Presently, Banija is projected as the #4 overall seed, putting them on the same side of the bracket as the currently projected #1 overall seed, Sarzonia. Banija, at minimum, needs a win to improve to maybe a #2 or #3 overall seed to avoid what looks like the class of the tournament so far, Sarzonia, as long as possible. Unless Banija gets an unlikely blowout, that would likely either mean defending champions Abanhfleft defeating Kriegiersien on Matchday 5, or Baker Park losing on Matchday 5 to an unranked Kandonica(far less likely), essentially for one of them to fall while Banija wins so we can move up to the #3 overall seed.

We'll see if we can pull that off. So we know our rooting chart for Banija tonight- Banija, Kandonica, Quebec, and, (*barfs*), Abanhfleft.

[Bollonich]

Lacrosse Live

Good Evening and welcome back to Lacrosse Live with your host Tilda Raghnall and joining me is Annika Wolodymyr. So Annika we have seen discussed and analysed Bollonich’s match against Cassadaigua, but how good do you think Bollonich’s qualification chances are right now?

To be frank chances are not looking good, defeating Banija will be a very difficult task and expecting Cassadaigua to lose will be naive as hell. What we need to do id win against Banija, but what I want to highlight and what I feel is important is that all this uncertainty is because of our defeat to Sannyamathland land. If we had defeated them, they would currently be sitting on 6 points facing a Dagan team on six points, and irrespective of their result we would’ve qualified. This is an important lesson for the young Bandits. It is important not to slip up in crucial moments like those and that even a minor slip up can cause their elimination, but I have faith in the boys to put up a good show against Banija.

Let’s now move onto to look at the qualification stakes in other groups. So in Group A, Kriegiersien and Abanhfleft have already confirmed their qualification while Delaclava and San Lucas Agua Tibia eliminated. The last qualification spot will either go to Taxonomic Kingdom or Qzvarkian Qaz in a Matchday 5 match between them. What are your predictions for this group?

Well Abanhfleft plays Kriegiersien so I expect that match to be interesting, and honestly I am backing Abanhfleft to beat Kriegiersien and clinch the top spot as group winners. The match between Taxonomic Kingdom and QQ will infact be more interesting, as both teams have a lot on the line. However I am expecting the crab deities to come out on top, after all their skill can clearly be seen in this picture.

Group A                    Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts
1 Kriegiersien               4   4  0   57  30    +27   12
2 Abanhfleft                 4   3  1   50  26    +24    9
3 Taxonomic Kingdoms         4   2  2   41  44     −3    6
4 Qzvarkian Qaz              4   2  2   39  54    −15    6
5 San Lucas Agua Tibia       4   1  3   44  50     −6    3
6 Delaclava                  4   0  4   26  53    −27    0

Now let’s move onto the group with the hosts, Group B, where the two teams that have already qualified are Baker Park and Vangaziland and the eliminated team in Kondonica. With the fixtures being:-
Baker Park vs Kandonica
Vangaziland vs Har Yarok
Nyowani Kitara vs Konhead
What are your predictions?

Well in the unlikely scenario that Konhead and Har Yarok with win, Konhead shall qualifying by virtue of head to head. And incase they both lose, it will come down to Goal difference as three teams will be positioned with 6 points each. However I expect Konhead to participate as a win for them over Nyowani Kitara is much more likely than Har Yarok defeating Vangaziland.

Group B                    Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts
1 Baker Park                 4   4  0   67  32    +35   12
2 Vangaziland                4   3  1   45  39     +6    9
3 Kohnhead                   4   2  2   40  41     −1    6
4 Har Yarok                  4   2  2   46  50     −4    6
5 Nyowani Kitara             4   1  3   45  52     −7    3
6 Kandonica                  4   0  4   32  61    −29    0

So, let’s move onto the last group, Group D, where Sarzonia and HUElavia have already qualified with Qasden eliminated. So what do you think will take place on the 5th Matchday in Group D with the fixtures being:-
United States of Devonta vs HUElavia
Xabia vs Qasden
Sarzonia vs Quebec & Shingoryeo

With the most likely result being that Quebec & Shingoryeo and The United States of Devonta lose and that Xabia defeats Qasden the last position of qualification will most probably come down to Goal Difference again.

Group D                    Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts
1 Sarzonia                   4   4  0   63  21    +42   12
2 HUElavia                   4   3  1   46  37     +9    9
3 Quebec & Shingoryeo        4   2  2   49  43     +6    6
4 United States of Devonta   4   2  2   27  42    −15    6
5 Xabia                      4   1  3   36  54    −18    3
6 Qasden                     4   0  4   28  52    −24    0

That is all from us today at Lacrosse live and thank you again for joining us today Annika, always a pleasure to have you here.

[Sarzonia]

The results haven't been what the fifth ranked Sarzonian national lacrosse team expected entering the 37th edition.

For once, that's a good thing.

The Stars came in expecting there to be somewhat of a learning curve with new defensive coordinator Makeeyah Brantley calling the shots, even though she said going in that she wasn't trying to "reinvent the wheel."

"My intent was to keep the defence looking pretty similar to what we've done before," she said. "These players are experienced and they know what they're doing. My job is to not rock the boat and make them play a whole new system."

The Stars seem to have adapted very quickly to their new defensive boss. The Stars whipped Devonta 14-2 to improve their record in the group stage to 4-0 and officially punch their ticket into the knockout rounds. HUElavia joined them as automatic qualifiers with their 18-5 victory over unranked Xabia. Los Armarillos improved to 3-1 with their only blemish at the hands of the Stars by that same score.

If the results hold up the way they have so far, the Stars would go into the knockout rounds as the No. 1 overall seed, earning them a bye directly into the quarterfinal rounds. The Stars offence, which has not drawn as much attention as the stifling defence authored by Brantley, has scored 63 goals thus far, good for second place in the group stage behind hosts Baker Park's 67. The Sarzonian defence has been far and away the best in the group stage, conceding only 21 goals, just over five per match. The second best defensive total? Defending champions Abanhfleft, who have conceded 26 goals. The Fleftics have already tasted defeat for the first time in the tournament as 20th ranked Qzvarkian Qaz delivered a 10-7 victory over the six-time world champions.

However, manager Jordan Helms isn't too interested in looking at potential quarterfinals pairings or revenge.

"We've still got a match against Quebec and Shingoryeo, and they're a team that could easily beat us if we aren't focused enough," he said. "We want to make sure we're hitting on all cylinders when we play in the knockout rounds. The best way to do that is to play our best game possible against Quebec and Shingoryeo."

So no resting the starters?

"Not unless we build a huge lead against them, which I don't expect," he said. He then paused for a moment and said, "well, we've so far only been tested by Qasden, but we realise the toughest matches lie ahead for us."

One thing Helms pointed to as a potential cause for the team's overwhelming success thus far is "lack of fatigue," as there was no Atlantian Oceania Lacrosse Championships tournament before the current WLC. The Stars went 6-0 in the group stage of the previous edition before falling to Banija in the final at Franz Braddock Stadium in Woodstock.

"We also got taken to overtime by Delaclava," Helms said, quickly pointing out the fierceness of the rivalry between the two regional neighbours. "Unfortunately, we won't be getting another crack at them this time." Helms shook his head ruefully at the last comment, noting the dichotomy between the fierceness of any Sarzonia-Delclava match on the pitch and the warmth of the friendship between the countries off the pitch.

Meanwhile, Helms said "that's out of my pay scale," when asked about a potential meeting between Sarzonian and Banijan diplomats should the two countries face each other in the knockout rounds.

"I don't make it my business to get too in depth in discussing international affairs," he said. "I make it my business to be informed about them, but I'm going to leave my comment at that."

[Kriegiersien]

The Schoenwetter Herald

Sport

Lacrosse - WLC 37 

Delaclava 8–14 Kriegiersien

With a clear and deserved victory over Delaclava the Kriegiersien team marches on. The match saw 5 goals from players of the Zombie Dudes, who were integrated much better than in the matches before. Now in the final match of the group stage the two Top teams meet each other.

Against all Sports nemesis and Ranking Number one Abanhfleft a draw would be enough to secure the first place, but the team wants to go with a victory into the play-offs.
“We are not here to play save. We are here to win”, said Coach Umbalumba, the longest sentence he gave to any journalist.

At least, against a nation like Abhanleft, who have won so many Lacrosse titles that they don’t even openly display them anymore, it could be another big experience and something to learn.

[Abanhfleft]

(OOC note: This was ICly posted after the final of WLC XXXVI.)

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Lacrosse Lamentations
with Aisling Keane

History has been made at the World Lacrosse Championships, and for once Abanhfleft has somehow found itself on the right side of said history-defining moment. It may sound impossible given the history of our nation in sporting terms, but for once something has gone our way. It is official: Abanhfleft is now the most successful nation in the multiverse in terms of lacrosse, having lifted our sixth World Lacrosse Championship in Sylestone following a 16-10 triumph over the proud ladies of Cassadaigua. I'm not going to sugarcoat things; this was very much a tough journey. Those who have followed me all throughout this journey will know that I very much doubted that this team would be able to go all the way. There I was, talking about "Schrodinger's team", wondering which team will turn up against the next opponent. Sometimes, the shit team would show up to play, but by some strange force, luck or the lacrosse gods or Margaret or whatever you wanted to call it, the shit team somehow found a way to win anyway. Any other time and the shit team would get soundly embarrassed, no questions asked. But somehow, this team was able to weather those storms and emerge victorious so that there was a new opportunity for the great team to come out, and come out that great team did, and in two of the most important matches they've played as well: the semifinal against Banija, and the final against Cassadaigua.

Now that I have the benefit of hindsight, I guess I could say that I actually enjoyed the semifinal against Banija. Probably because of the end result, but there was a chance that even if we had lost, if the lasses (and lads) had performed just as well as they did in the second half, I still would have found the time to appreciate it. Not immediately after, but definitely a few years down the road, I probably would look back at this game and say, "It was a nice game even if we lost." But we live in the timeline where Abanhfleft won the semifinal against Banija, so it stands to reason that I actually like the result. But then again, you've got to feel for the Banijans. Every time that they've come so close to achieving their goal of winning the WLC, a great big blue, orange and green-coloured wall emerges to stop them dead in their tracks. This particular edition must really hurt for them: they got a glimmer of hope when they managed to beat us in the group stage, and in the first half of the semifinal they really appeared to have finally gotten our number. Then the trio of Jenelle Eure, Pearline Cordes, and Leeanna Matley managed to get together and mount the comeback. It may have been improbable, it may not have been. Certainly the comeback happened, and it might not have if at least one of those three girls started misfiring once again. But you all get my point.

And then the truly big one, the final against Cassadaigua. Truly it was the clash of titans, the Flefts being the titans of lacrosse and the Dagans the titans of... pretty much everything else. For me, I've always associated lacrosse with being a Cassadaigua power sport so imagine my surprise when I found out that they haven't won a single damn WLC just yet. I've always thought that they had a handful here and there. Certainly nothing like what Sarzonia (and now us too) had, but I would have at least thought the Dagans had maybe one or two world championships. But no. They're still somehow chasing after their first ever WLC. Probably explains why they were so hell-bent on winning this one. The good news, at least from the Fleftic perspective, is that it was the great team that came out to play. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that had it been the shit team that went out to play Cassadaigua, the women in pink would have absolutely shredded them. As it is, the Dagans still pushed our Amazons to the absolute edge, even managing to lead us 9-7 around the opening few minutes of the second half. But that unlikely trio of Eure, Cordes, and Matley got their shit together for one last time, coordinating with each other on their attacking runs and overlaps to retake the lead from Cassadaigua and eventually ensure that Abanhfleft not only retains the World Lacrosse Championships but also becomes the outright record holder for most wins in the tournament.

What a journey. What an incredible, amazing, and tough journey. Blood, sweat, and tears were most definitely shed. And, in two years' time, they're all going to have to do it all over again. We're sure to see some new faces then as some of our current veterans are already floating the possibility of retiring, at least from international lacrosse. New stars are rising from the horizon to take their place, and those who warmed the bench this time could eventually be called up to take up a position in the starting ten and prove their inclusions in the team to be worthy. However, we should all take the time to remember that, while we may be living in a new Golden Age of Fleftic lacrosse right now, all golden ages come to an end. So enjoy this one while it lasts, friends. Who knows when, or even if, title number seven will come our way?

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

CUTOFF!!!

Group A
Kriegiersien 3–11 Abanhfleft
San Lucas Agua Tibia 10–5 Delaclava
Taxonomic Kingdoms 13–5 Qzvarkian Qaz

  Group A                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                 5   4  1   61  29    +32   12
2 Kriegiersien               5   4  1   60  41    +19   12
3 Taxonomic Kingdoms         5   3  2   54  49     +5    9
4 San Lucas Agua Tibia*      5   2  3   54  55     −1    6
5 Qzvarkian Qaz              5   2  3   44  67    −23    6
6 Delaclava                  5   0  5   31  63    −32    0
*San Luis Agua Tibia ahead of Qzvarkian Qaz on H2H pts

Group B
Vangaziland 16–11 Har Yarok
Baker Park 21–8 Kandonica
Kohnhead 15–12 Nyowani Kitara

  Group B                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Baker Park                 5   5  0   88  40    +48   15
2 Vangaziland                5   4  1   61  50    +11   12
3 Kohnhead                   5   3  2   55  53     +2    9
4 Har Yarok                  5   2  3   57  66     −9    6
5 Nyowani Kitara             5   1  4   57  67    −10    3
6 Kandonica                  5   0  5   40  82    −42    0

Group C
Northwest Kalactin 4–9 Sylestone
Cassadaigua 18–10 Sannyamathland
Banija 4–5 Bollonich

  Group C                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Banija                     5   4  1   54  35    +19   12
2 Bollonich                  5   3  2   61  40    +21   10
3 Cassadaigua*               5   3  2   53  56     −3    9
4 Sannyamathland             5   3  2   50  51     −9    9
5 Sylestone                  5   2  3   49  45     +4    6
6 Northwest Kalactin         5   0  5   30  62    −32    0
*Cassadaigua ahead of Sannyamathland on H2H pts

Group D
Xabia 9–5 Qasden
United States of Devonta 9–14 HUElavia
Quebec & Shingoryeo 6–18 Sarzonia

  Group D                  Pld   W  L   GF  GA     GD  Pts 
1 Sarzonia                   5   5  0   81  27    +54   15
2 HUElavia                   5   4  1   60  46    +14   12
3 Xabia                      5   2  3   45  59    −14    7
4 Quebec & Shingoryeo*       5   2  3   55  61     −6    6
5 United States of Devonta   5   2  3   36  56    −20    6
6 Qasden                     5   0  5   33  61    −28    0
*Quebec & Shingoryeo ahead of Devonta on H2H pts

Taxonomic Kingdoms and Kohnhead were flipped in the seedings to avoid a group stage rematch

Playoff Round
(6) HUElavia vs (11) Cassadaigua @ Loren M Abernathy Stadium, Northfield Borough
(5) Kriegiersien vs (12) Xabia @ War Memorial Stadium, Alton
(7) Vangaziland vs (9) Taxonomic Kingdoms @ Fritz Schafer Stadium, Hannover
(8) Bollonich vs (10) Kohnhead @ The University Stadium, Belle Haven.

Quarterfinals
(1) Sarzonia vs lowest remaining seed
(4) Banija vs highest remaing seed
(3) Abanhfleft vs second highest remaining seed
(2) Baker Park vs second lowest remaining seed

[Bollonich]

Lacrosse Today

It was the final match day, Bollonich needs a win to cement their position in the playoff positions. We were facing Banija, the team that was ranked 2 in the whole world. It was going to be an immensely difficult match. Everyone knew that, but we weren’t ones to give up easily. A win against Banija was achievable and that’s what we wanted to achieve, a win. The overtime loss against Cassadaigua was painful however it gave the players confidence, the confidence that they could surely defeat a team like Banija. The Banijan coach Budaye said that Banija shall be going all out against Bollonich which would make the match harder than it already would’ve been. The match starterd with both teams putting in their all and the match was scoreless for one whole quarter. The first goals came from the Banijan team with them leading 2-0 at the end of the 2nd quarter. The Bandits however didn’t give in and made a comeback by levelling the score at 2-2 at the end of the 3rd quarter. The fourth quarter was the most difficult of all with the match being closely fought. With 30 second left the match was tied at 4-4, with a last minute interception Corvinian Gervasio scored a wonder goal giving the win to Bollonich and securing their qualification place. The goals were scored by Gervasio, Anup Peterson and Tim Brune in this match with Corvinian netting 3 while the others netted 1 each. From the Banijan side the scorers were Sara Jawara with 2 goals, Alanso Bari with 2 goals and Kebab Thiaw with 1 goal. The match featured one of the best defensive performance from the Bandits only conceding 4 goals.
Ottó said the following words as was reported to a local journalist, “Today our defence was at it’s best, we fought hard and this fight has given us what we wanted, a successful result. We also finished 2nd in our Group with the highest number of goals scored 61. Corvinian has shown his attacking prowess and other attacksmen have also come in handy and played well. It is important for us to utilise the break and prepare best we can for the qualifying matchup.” It will be interesting to look at which team The Bandits face in the play off stage, but we’ll certainly be hoping that an easy draw is on the cards so getting to the quarterfinals will be easier.

Bandits Goalscoring Leaderboard
Name                 Mt Pld      Goals
Corvinian Gervasio     5          31
Tim Brune             3(1)        13
Anup Peterson          5          8
Proteus Verity         2          2
Ottó Horn              5          1
Lukas Gumtka           5          1

~Bonifacio Serena

[Bollonich]

It was the end of the 5th match day, we had qualified. Everyone was extremely excited and the celebrations had started, however I didn’t feel like celebrating, why would I? What had been my contribution? 2 Goals, I was on the scoresheet yet the coach didn’t play me. Winfield spotted my frustration when I wasn’t celebrating. He called me to meet him after lunch.
I was angry yet I obeyed, and went to meet him in the lounge of the hotel. He spoke with authority but I wasn’t to let him push me around, I was going to stand my ground and lay my demands. I wanted to be played, I ought to be played. I had performed well in the chances given to me. Winfield said, “Proteus I am sure you know why I have called you here.” What? I had no idea what he was talking about, it may have been my behaviour but the manager doesn’t go around calling people cuz of that. I replied, “No I don’t maybe you would like to enlighten me.”
“Well your behaviour hasn’t been upto the point, I am least interested what you do in private but when you are out in public remember you are representing the team. I you can’t up hold the standards of behaviour I am sorry I am going to have to take strict action.”
"Oh like what? Huh, not play me? You might as well, I am not playing anyway.”
“Oh so that, is what this is about, well you just need to put in better performances.”
“Yeah I would if you would play me.”
“Well suck it up, I’ll play you when we need to, we weren’t in comfortable situations for the last two matches so you haven’t been played. I think you have the maturity to understand that and if you don’t I don’t think you should be here.”
I understood what he meant, he was correct, I had to start thinking about the team. But again I wanted to play, frankly I deserved to play, but it seemed like I would have to wait for an opportunity after all. Arguing further wouldn’t benefit anyone, so I quietly went back to my room and started to dwell on the matter. I was determined to show him that I was the one who was going to earn the Bandits some victories.

[Sarzonia]

Sarzonia's group stage finale was anti-climatic again. Manager Jordan Helms' original plans for the starters to play the majority of the match once again faded into the mist as the Stars walloped Quebec and Shingoryeo 18-6 to finish the group stage of the World Lacrosse Championships at 5-0. They wrapped up the Group D title and the number one overall seed in the knockout rounds.

The Stars will await the lowest remaining seeds of the Playoff Round, which will begin after a one-day break for all 12 remaining teams. The top four teams get a break to watch the Playoff Round.

"We expected Quebec and Shingoryeo to push us, since they're nominally a top 25-calibre team," Helms said in his postmatch conference. "We've been dominant at the [faceoff] X and on defence, and that's led us to scoring opportunities. We've also played efficient offensively, and those factors have all contributed to our standing now."

That standing includes the stingiest defence among the 24 teams that took part in this World Lacrosse Championships. With 27 goals conceded, the Stars were two better than defending champion Abanhfleft's 29. Offensively, Sarzonia rank second in the competition with 81 goals, behind host nation and No. 2 seed Baker Park's 88. While it may be tempting to paint a would-be Sarzonia-Baker Park final as a battle between the irresistible force and the immovable object, goaltender Matt Henning would hear none of it yet.

"We've still got to win two matches to even get to the final," he said. "The fact that the likes of Delaclava, Northwest Kalactin and Qasden aren't in the knockout rounds shows that anything can still happen once we get to the knockouts." Attack Colin Grassley (three goals, one assist) agreed, saying that even if the favourites all won their matches in the next two rounds, the semifinals would be Sarzonia v. Banija and Baker Park v. Abanhfleft.

"Abanhfleft are the defending champions," Grassley said, grimacing as he said it. "Banija are our archrivals in this, or in any sport, really. There are no more gimmies at this point in the competition. Anyone can beat anyone."

HUElavia, the third ranked team in the multiverse, join fifth ranked Sarzonia and unranked Xabia in the knockout rounds from Group D. Los Armarillos will face defending finalists and incoming WLC president nation Cassadaigua at Loren M. Abernathy Stadium in Northfield Borough. Twelfth seeded Xabia will battle Kriegiersien at War Memorial Stadium in Alton. By now, however, the Stars will hope they've adapted well enough to new defensive coordinator Makeeyah Brantley and her style of calling plays. Helms is confident they have.

"The results speak for themselves," he said. "That's a credit to the players and it's a credit to Makeeyah."

Brantley said the credit belonged to the players.

"They bought in," she said. "They battled. They fought. They made it easy for me."

KNOCKOUT ROUND SEEDS
The top four seeds have a bye directly into the quarterfinals.
1. Sarzonia (5-0, Group D champions, plus-54 goal differential).
The Stars earned the top seed mainly as a result of an extremely stingy defence that's rounded into devastating form, allowing a tournament low 27 goals in five matches. Can the team put it all together when the competition gets tougher?
2. Baker Park - hosts (5-0, Group B champions, plus-48 goal differential)
Baker Park have the most prolific offence in the tournament with 88 goals scored, an average of more than 17.5 goals per match. Will they be able to continue in that form when they face the better defensive units in the game?
3. Abanhfleft - defending champions (4-1, Group A champions, plus-32 goal differential)
The Fleftics are the only team with six world championships, eclipsing the Stars for most titles in history. Can they add No. 7 or will they fall to a team determined to leave its own mark?
4. Banija (4-1, Group C champions, plus-19 goal differential)
This tournament will demonstrate whether a late slip up against tournament newcomers Bollonich was an aberration or a sign of vulnerability.
5. Kriegiersien (4-1, Group A runners up, plus-19 goal differential)
A late loss to Abanhfleft in the group stage finale prevented Kriegiersien from earning a first round bye. Will that cost them a chance to advance?
6. HUElavia (4-1, Group D runners up, plus-14 goal differential)
Los Armarillos lost out on a higher seeding after being crushed by Sarzonia. Can they use that loss to motivate them to win another title?
7. Vangaziland (4-1, Group B runners up, plus-11 goal differential)
Only a loss to hosts Baker Park prevented them from a high seed. The question remains whether that makes the road too difficult for them to enjoy success.
8. Bollonich (3-2, Group C runners up, plus-21 goal differential)
A head-to-head victory over defending runners up Cassadaigua and a shocking 5-4 defeat of Banija catapulted this team into the knockout rounds as an eighth seed. Will the clock strike midnight on their Cinderfella run or will the slipper keep fitting?
9. Taxonomic Kingdoms (3-2, Group A third placed side, plus-5 goal differential)
Another debutant side in this tournament, they needed a victory over Qzvarkian Qaz to qualify for the third and final spot out of Group A.
10. Kohnhead (3-2, Group B third placed side, plus-2 goal differential)
Kohnhead needed to win and get help to qualify and they managed both, defeating Nyowani Kitara 15-12 and seeing group winners Vangaziland defeat Har Yarok 16-11. They will have to hope their luck doesn't run out in the knockout rounds.
11. Cassadaigua (3-2, Group C third placed side, minus-3 goal differential)
After stumbling badly in the early going, the Fillies stormed past Sannyamathland with an 18-10 rout that returns the defending runners up to the knockout rounds. With a matchup against a highly ranked, if not high seeded HUElavia in the offing, the Dagans will have to hope their luck doesn't run out against a strong side.
12. Xabia (2-3, Group D third placed side, minus-14 goal differential)
Speaking of lucky, the only losing side still remaining in this tournament are in solely because they defeated Quebec and Shingoryeo in the head-to-head result. Against the fifth seeds Kriegiersien, they will face a difficult road.

[Kriegiersien]

The Schoenwetter Herald

Sport

Lacrosse - WLC 37 

Drama in the team?

Kriegiersien 3–11 Abanhfleft

Abhanleft totally flattening Kriegiersien in deciding match for the first place in the group. The Kriegiersien team was far behind after 15 minutes and down 10 goals after 30. The game ended with 3:11, after the favoured World Champs lost the interest to slaughter their opponents.
Only Xvartish players from the ‘Just some Dudes’ Team played with short substitution of Orcs and human players after there was seemingly an argument between the two coaches. What happened is still unknown. It is likewise unclear if the Zombie players will return in the next match.


Xabia is the obstacle in the way to the round of 8, waiting in the War Memorial Stadium in Alton. And now the unranked team could became a bigger hurdle than feared.

[Banija]

OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is about a mini-storyline that Sarzonia and I have agreed to pursue. There are some not so pleasant comments about the LGTBQ+ community, but they are strictly IC, and do not in any way reflect the OOC views of the author, and strictly represent the IC views of the characters in the RP and the nation as a whole. Without further ado.

Kabaka= King
Luguba= Queen Consort
Isebantu= Crown Prince
Omugabe= Prince
Omugaba= Princess
Katikkiro= Prime Minister

Mujaguzo Palace

Omugabe Ttembo, the youngest son of the aging Kabaka Mwanga, was always known as an avid lacrosse fan. Lacrosse was a smaller sport in Banija, as it was in basically every country. But Banija had a core of supporters, and Omugabe Ttembo was one of them. The Prince was a regular attendant at Banijan home games(if they happened), and would regularly attend the BLL Final.

With the national team making the knockout stages, he'd be flying off to the Commonwealth to watch games. It wasn't all the time that Royals went on extended trips like this to sporting events- but with the close relationship between Banija and Baker Park, everybody figured it'd be a good idea. He could meet with the Ambassador, do some work on behalf of the Government, and actually enjoy himself.

He, of course, did not live at the Palace. But he was at the Palace to get a debriefing from the Foreign Ministry. If he was going to be the highest ranking official in Banija, then he of course needed to be up to date on what was going on. He wasn't conducting any negotiations on behalf of Banija or anything- but still.

He sat in a room waiting, until his brother's staffer came into the room. "Sorry, I'm late, your highness." She said, passing him a pack of papers that had clearly just come freshly from the printer. He nodded. He read about potential opponents Banija might face, and most importantly, potential, if any, political delegates he might meet. And then- his eyes landed on the Sarzonia part of the paper.

"Why is this in red?" Ttembo asked?

"Well, your highness, this is one that is particularly going to be treated with great care." She replied.

"You know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever actually met a Sarzonian politician. Why not? I seem to watch their sports teams against ours on television every single day, of course."

"Well..." She started awkwardly. "You know how it is. Culturally, they're different from us."

"A lot of nations are different from us." He replied. "Equestrians are ran by sentient ponies!"

"Well..." She began again. "It's different here. If our nations meet in the semifinals, I'd like for you to note a few of the do's and don'ts. See on the don't list- do not mention the idea of Sarz marriages, or the concepts of husbands and wives. Sarzonia doesn't have marriage in their country- just civil unions."

"Don't have marriage?!?!" Ttembo exclaimed. "What kind of a-"

"And that's how their culture has been for a long time." She continued, before Ttembo could say something that he'd rather not be heard saying. "So just got to grow tolerant of it. Oh. And they are big into modern gender theory. Pro-LGBTQ. Gender doesn't function on a binary. Etc..."

"They believe what?" Ttembo said. The Prince felt a lot older than he was at the moment. Banija was a very social conservative, very Mormon nation. This Christian nation believed in the traditional nuclear family, traditional gender assigned at birth, etc... And Ttembo, and the rest of the Royal Family, also fell in line for that.

"Further than that." She said. "Depending on who's here, you'll meet one of them. So you're going to have to study up on your pronouns, your highness." Ttembo was absolutely bewildered. SImply something he wasn't exposed to out here in Banija- by and large, the LGBTQ+ rights movement in the country was entirely underground. And as a Royal, the last place where Ttembo was, would be in line with these underground movements.

"Ok." Ttembo said. "Let me study up."

"Well, you see. Their External Affairs Officer, Mr. [name redacted], is a male. Here is his picture. Do not, do not, refer to him as a woman. He's their Foreign Minister equivalent. We do not need anybody starting an international incident because you called this person by the wrong gender."

She then continued. "And this person here, their Lt. President, is openly gay. We just started building our file on him, we're not sure if he's married or not."

"I thought they didn't-" Ttembo began.

"My apologies." The staffer said. "We are not sure whether their Lt. President has an active partner. We'll find out before you before the semifinal, if we even reach that point in the tournament and you two end up meeting. If he does, or even if he doesn't- watch yourself. Watch your language. No comments. Whatever it takes, just treat them as you'd treat a heterosexual married couple. Make sure your wife and whoever else is going studies up as well- your father won't appreciate you getting to Baker Park to enjoy a lacrosse tournament and coming back the source of an international incident."

Ttembo and her read through a few more officials, and then Ttembo dismissed her. He knew he'd make sure to get copies of these papers back to his wife. The long-awaited meeting between the political delegations of Sarzonia and Banija would finally happen, and he'd be at the center of it for the Banijans. Could he make sure not to embarrass Banija when it happens?