NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Eshialand]

I can confirm that #1447's names aren't the same every time, but I don't know if they're gendered or not. The names I got, in order, were: Liara Henderson, Ryan Parke, and Al Vonnegut. I don't know if the genders are female-random-male or random-random-random though, but I'm leaning towards all random, since there's no reason why that wouldn't be the case.

Indeed, they are random. Another nation of mine got male-female-male name.

[Probably Not Japan]

Small correction for Issue#1441:
1. The city on which the house got burned is @@CAPITAL@@ macro
2. All of the speakers in the choices are @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro
3. The title of the safety manual the fire chief is holding up should be in italic.

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 029

---

Oh, wow. Look at him, he's here, all the time, look at the big boy. I'm just gonna sit right here... Hello, kitty. :3

- Added 3 more issues! ^^
- 1440 TO 1459 macros now fixed - the links in Section 4 now takes you to the correct page. Apologies to Frieden-und Freudenland for taking so long!
- Alongside a few others fixed macros as usual.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

Edit 1: Small formatting change to Section 4's #1344, thanks to SherpDaWerp for the feedback.

[Probably Not Japan]

Small additions to issue #1442: instead of "I've always wanted to eat glow-in-the-dark cherries." by the second speaker, I got "I’ve always wanted to make a chicken glow in the dark.”. I inspected the element of the option's accept button and it says choice-1. I suppose the former is for vegetarianism nations and what I got is for meat-eating nations?

[Radicalania]

Not quite sure how this works, but just picked up issue 1449: Annie Get Your Gun, it's not covered in any of the guides sooooo:

When mother-of-twins Annie Clarke was held up at gunpoint by a mugger, she immediately surrendered all her cash and jewellery, rather than risk the lives of her ten-year-old boys. Shockingly, not only had she not attempted to use lethal force to defend her family, but she had also left her one and only shotgun on the kitchen table at home.

Option 1: The one I picked

“Owning a gun is compulsory for a good reason,” points out your Minister for Personal Defence, adjusting her H&K MP5K holster to stop it from catching on her backslung C14 Timberwolf sniper rifle. “But what’s the point in compulsory ownership if you don’t carry your weapon? As far as I’m concerned, failing to carry a proper deterrent makes Ms Clarke culpable for inciting violence. Citizens have a duty to pack heat whenever they leave the home. An armed populace is a safe populace!”

Results:

Metal detectors at school gates make sure that teenagers are carrying at least one sidearm.

Positive
Industry: Arms Manufacturing
Charon Conveyancy Index 14,981.56 → 15,168.18 1.2%

Sector: Manufacturing
Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index 14,981.56 → 15,168.18 1.2%

Social Conservatism
Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index 47.92 → 48.08 0.33%

Weaponization
Weapons Per Person 9.70 → 9.73 0.31%

Authoritarianism
milliStalins 646.01 → 647.30 0.20%

Averageness
Average Standardized Normality Scale 41.47 → 41.52 0.12%

Negative
Sector: Agriculture
Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index 34.48 → 34.46 0.06%

Nudity
Cheeks Per Square Mile 207.25 → 207.00 0.12%

Recreational Drug Use
Pineapple Fondness Rating 61.60 → 61.40 0.32%

Civil Rights
Martin Luther King, Jr. Units 60.10 → 59.90 0.33%

Ideological Radicality
Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index 13.53 → 13.48 0.37%

Pacifism
Cheeks Turned Per Day 7.55 → 7.43 1.6%

Option 2:
Option 2
“I’m sorry, I just had so much stuff to carry with the kids’ spare clothes and snacks and school bags and all the rest,” weeps the deeply ashamed young mom. “I know I shoulda been packin’ heat, I know it, but it’s just so hard to do so every hour of the day! Have some mercy, guvmint man, and maybe put more gun-totin’ police on the streets to keep us safe when our hands are full.”

Option 3:
Option 3
“Where was the man of the family in all this, eh?” yells Josh Turnbull, before pausing as someone whispers in his ear informing him that the lady is a recent widow from gun-related street crime. “Oh... uh... right. But what about these two twins? They’re both the men of the family now, and morally responsible for protecting the weaker sex!”

Option 4
And 4
“Hrmm... Did we...?” wonders Minister of Bookkeeping Wojciech Johannsen as he leafs through the statute books. “Oops, yes we did. Looks like we accidentally used the word ‘must’ instead of ‘may’ here when we made that last change to the law about firearm ownership. You want I should fix it again, like some sort of second amendment to the bill?”

[Valentine Z]

Very nicely done with your first report, thank you! ♥

Of note is that for next time, you will not have to provide us with the issue results. It's interesting, but Trotterdam's got a whole thread and site full of it. ^^

On top of that, please do note and provide us with the Author and Editor next time. But still, a solid effort, so thank you! I do hope to see more reports of new issues from you!

[Tor-bana-ing]

So many car puns. Large Auto Manufacturing industry is probably a validity.

#1450: Driving @@LEADER@@

The Issue

After many years of faithful service, your current vehicle broke down on the highway this morning, forcing you to squeeze into the back of a police car like a common hoodlum in order to get to work. To avoid any further embarrassments, your advisors have asked you to pick a new state car to whisk you to-and-fro when required.

The Debate

1. “Look, that old barge was pretty, but it might not have been adequate if there was a bomb attack!” proclaims General Natalie Stephenson, gesturing wildly and getting uncomfortably close to your face. “What we need to protect you is a state-of-the-art military vehicle. I’m talking 10cm thick carbon-ceramic armour, missile launchers, gun nests, and plenty of room for a squad of special forces operatives. Let’s make something no enemy of the state would dare even look funny at, let alone consider attacking!”

2. Suddenly, your windows are shaken by what sounds like the bellow of a wild animal as eccentric TV star and car enthusiast Clark Jeremysson revs the engine of his Berrari Forza-Azzurri, then proceeds to address you using a megaphone. “Your people judge you based on what you’re driving. How on earth can they connect with you on a personal level if you’re riding around in a hybrid battlecruiser-tank thing? You should get something fast and exciting — a proper supercar — and drive it yourself. Show everyone that you’re a real take-charge leader who goes wherever you want, at whatever speed you want. People will love it!”

3. “Heaven forbid that such an uncouth brute should influence Your Excellency,” sputters Waylon Brown, head of sales at Bolls-Boyce, bowing low and taking off his hat. “My dear, the vehicle that served you was very fine indeed, but fear not, for we can make a more luxurious replacement at our coachbuilding studio that will be far superior to the pedestrian wares offered by Maxcedes and Barryan Motor Works. If you would be so kind as to tell me your preferred leather suppleness and decanter temperature, my master craftsmen can get to work post-haste.”

4. “Why waste taxpayer money on an expensive limousine when you can set an example of frugality?” questions your Minister of Anti-Corruption, who also happens to be your niece. “Just drive whatever’s available, like one of the compact cars in the government’s vehicle pool. They’re all made by General Chassis, right here in @@NAME@@. It’ll help reduce government spending, while demonstrating your support for the local automotive industry.”

5. You think you’re finished, but then a scraggly hippy who had appeared to be a large bush stands up and starts moving in your direction. “Like, dude... it’s you, man! I always thought you were cool! Hey, listen, I want to rap with you about something. Like, cars are so last century, dude! The people will totally be down with it if you just... like, walk everywhere. Imagine, you with a sweet poncho and a stick, totally in sync with Mother Earth, just walking to... wherever it is you go. Maybe it’ll put out good vibrations and change some minds about pollution and saving the world!”

Issue by The Magnificent Kingdom of Avaerilon

Edited by Pogaria

[Valentine Z]

Ahh, so I got Issue #1449. Note to self that both the author and the editor is CWA.

Seems to be Annie @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, and the rest of the names are random, it would seem.

[Rocain Founder]

Issue #1415, as received by my puppet Cain G HiF Fdm v0 has a fourth option. This option is a near-duplicate of the spoiled option 3, pretty obviously for nations which have disallowed dams. Here is the text of that option. (I have not attempted to demacroize the personal names.)

“It’s your own fault that you built a town smack-dab in the center of a potential flood pathway,” sighs self-described “preventionist” Michonne Erso as she emerges from the floor in mining gear. “Since we don’t allow dams in this nation, all areas within a seventeen-mile proximity of a glacier are in danger of flooding! Really, most of @@NAME@@ is vulnerable to some watery hazard, like the giant waterfall only a few miles from @@CAPITAL@@. Let’s build dikes, dams, and drainage channels until all of the water is safely contained behind our man-made barriers. I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a map for you.” She shows you a map with an uncountable number of marks on it. “See here, here, here and here...”

[Probably Not Japan]

Issue#1450
Driving @@LEADER@@
The Issue

After many years of faithful service, your current vehicle broke down on the highway this morning, forcing you to squeeze into the back of a police car like a common hoodlum in order to get to work. To avoid any further embarrassments, your advisors have asked you to pick a new state car to whisk you to-and-fro when required.
The Debate

1. “Look, that old barge was pretty, but it might not have been adequate if there was a bomb attack!” proclaims General May Benteen, gesturing wildly and getting uncomfortably close to your face. “What we need to protect you is a state-of-the-art military vehicle. I’m talking 10cm thick carbon-ceramic armour, missile launchers, gun nests, and plenty of room for a squad of special forces operatives. Let’s make something no enemy of the state would dare even look funny at, let alone consider attacking!”

2. Suddenly, your windows are shaken by what sounds like the bellow of a wild animal as eccentric TV star and car enthusiast Clark Jeremysson revs the engine of his Berrari Forza-Azzurri, then proceeds to address you using a megaphone. “Your people judge you based on what you’re driving. How on earth can they connect with you on a personal level if you’re riding around in a hybrid battlecruiser-tank thing? You should get something fast and exciting — a proper supercar — and drive it yourself. Show everyone that you’re a real take-charge leader who goes wherever you want, at whatever speed you want. People will love it!”

3. “Heaven forbid that such an uncouth brute should influence Your Excellency,” sputters Steve Gruber, head of sales at Bolls-Boyce, bowing low and taking off his hat. “My dear, the vehicle that served you was very fine indeed, but fear not, for we can make a more luxurious replacement at our coachbuilding studio that will be far superior to the pedestrian wares offered by Maxcedes and Barryan Motor Works. If you would be so kind as to tell me your preferred leather suppleness and decanter temperature, my master craftsmen can get to work post-haste.”

4. “Why waste taxpayer money on an expensive limousine when you can set an example of frugality?” questions your Minister of Anti-Corruption, who also happens to be your niece. “Just drive whatever’s available, like one of the compact cars in the government’s vehicle pool. They’re all made by General Chassis, right here in @@NATION@@. It’ll help reduce government spending, while demonstrating your support for the local automotive industry.”

5. You think you’re finished, but then a scraggly hippy who had appeared to be a large bush stands up and starts moving in your direction. “Like, dude... it’s you, man! I always thought you were cool! Hey, listen, I want to rap with you about something. Like, cars are so last century, dude! The people will totally be down with it if you just... like, walk everywhere. Imagine, you with a sweet poncho and a stick, totally in sync with Mother Earth, just walking to... wherever it is you go. Maybe it’ll put out good vibrations and change some minds about pollution and saving the world!”

Issue by The Magnificent Kingdom of Avaerilon

Edited by Pogaria

I suspect all of the names are @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro. For no. 3, maybe requirement is being a capitalist nation? Since the speaker is told to be from a head of sales agent for a company.

[Rocain Founder]

One of my puppets, Cain EH v0, has received issue #366 including option 3, which is shown in the spoilers as TBD. The text is almost the same as option 3, with the exception that the phrases "abolish the draft" and "volunteered to" are not present. Here is the full text of option 3. I have not attempted to replace the speaker's name with a macro.

“Why do we celebrate and glorify warmongering by raising these conquistadors above everyone else?” questions Conan Svensson, an anti-war protester outside the gates of your office building. “These medals and uniforms only exist to exert dominance and fear over the masses. The military claim these medals are rewards, but they are actually trophies declaring to the world how many innocent civilians their brainwashed killers massacred. We should do away with our armed forces and imprison those who supposedly kill in the name of @@NAME@@.”

[Darmen]

Issue #1451: A Dread Letter

The Issue
Today, among your mail, a black envelope with a pentagram on it caught your eye. You opened the envelope, and the letter inside said: “Blessed Chosen One, I am happy to inform you that you have just been granted the Opportunity to Change Your Life. The magnificent energy of the cosmos is waiting to surround you. If you copy this letter and send it to 100 other people, you will be granted ONE HUNDRED blessings for ONE HUNDRED days. But! If you spurn these gifts — YOU will be CURSED FOREVER. Choose wisely!”

The Debate
1. “This is a disaster!” whimpers your secretary Beverly Chen, looping her four-leaf clover pendant around your neck and knocking on your wooden desk repeatedly. “I had a friend in elementary school who failed to pass on a chain letter she received, and she came down with terrible chickenpox afterwards. This is no joking matter, @@LEADER@@. You should immediately start making copies and sending them out if you want to protect yourself from harm.”

2. “I’d bet my bottom @@CURRENCY@@ that this is just another teenage prankster,” muses police officer Freddy Jamieson, inspecting the envelope with a magnifying glass to check for fingerprints. “But we ought not let this scoundrel waste your precious time with this nonsense. Grant my department permission to track down and punish the senders of anonymous letters composed with the criminal intent to frighten or defraud.” He tosses the letter to one side, accidentally knocking a small mirror off your desk.

3. “If anything, this shows you’re not taking your personal security seriously enough, @@LEADER@@!” yells bodyguard Lisa Preisner, a former army officer, who has perused the letter and is now patrolling the vicinity. “What if that scumbag had sent anthrax in that envelope? Or what if someone had sent you a bomb in a gift parcel? You should mandate that all mail in @@NATION@@ should be sent in see-through bags. Those who have nothing to hide cannot object to full transparency.”

4. “Holy @@ANIMAL@@! I can’t believe we spent an entire morning discussing a stupid chain letter!” chortles Salvatore Wilson, your Minister of Underhanded Solutions. “But, if these letters are so unsettling, this gives me a brilliant idea. Why not produce different versions of such dreadful letters and send them to our political opponents? Distracting them in this way could be a good strategy for psychological warfare.”

Issue by The Unapologetic Feminists of Frieden-und Freudenland
Edited by The Free Joy State

[Trotterdam]

#1451 A Dread Letter

The Issue

Today, among your mail, a black envelope with a pentagram on it caught your eye. You opened the envelope, and the letter inside said: "Blessed Chosen One, I am happy to inform you that you have just been granted the Opportunity to Change Your Life. The magnificent energy of the cosmos is waiting to surround you. If you copy this letter and send it to 100 other people, you will be granted ONE HUNDRED blessings for ONE HUNDRED days. But! If you spurn these gifts — YOU will be CURSED FOREVER. Choose wisely!"

The Debate

1. "This is a disaster!" whimpers your secretary Sophie Ho, looping her four-leaf clover pendant around your neck and knocking on your wooden desk repeatedly. "I had a friend in elementary school who failed to pass on a chain letter she received, and she came down with terrible chickenpox afterwards. This is no joking matter, @@LEADER@@. You should immediately start making copies and sending them out if you want to protect yourself from harm."

2. "I'd bet my bottom @@CURRENCY@@ that this is just another teenage prankster," muses police officer Bajrakitiyabha Payne, inspecting the envelope with a magnifying glass to check for fingerprints. "But we ought not let this scoundrel waste your precious time with this nonsense. Grant my department permission to track down and punish the senders of anonymous letters composed with the criminal intent to frighten or defraud." She tosses the letter to one side, accidentally knocking a small mirror off your desk.

3. "If anything, this shows you're not taking your personal security seriously enough, @@LEADER@@!" yells bodyguard Fahd Ward, a former army officer, who has perused the letter and is now patrolling the vicinity. "What if that scumbag had sent anthrax in that envelope? Or what if someone had sent you a bomb in a gift parcel? You should mandate that all mail in @@NAME@@ should be sent in see-through bags. Those who have nothing to hide cannot object to full transparency."

4. "Holy @@ANIMAL@@! I can't believe we spent an entire morning discussing a stupid chain letter!" chortles Lana Curtis, your Minister of Underhanded Solutions. "But, if these letters are so unsettling, this gives me a brilliant idea. Why not produce different versions of such dreadful letters and send them to our political opponents? Distracting them in this way could be a good strategy for psychological warfare."

Issue by Frieden-und Freudenland
Edited by The Free Joy State

Looks like all names are random, though I wonder about the genders in option 1, particularly of the friend who's not directly named.

[Puppet States of Anarchy]

Both of the names in issue #1418 "The High Life" are random, and that includes pronouns.

[Jutsa]

I got #1450 myself, and internal numbering suggests that the two reports above this post are correct (options 1-5, probably no sixth option).

I also can confirm that option 2's name is fixed, comparing my own copy to the two above mine.

Edit: Oh, yeah, I also got Issue #1442 and didn't realize option 2 hadn't been reported yet. Sorry!
I DID check back though, and while I can't tell from internal numbering, it seems like I got exactly the same options as what's in the list;
Option 2 is not a vegetarian variant to option 1 (unless it's an effect line thing), since I still got "flora and fauna" while being vegetarian.

[Trotterdam]

Edit: Oh, yeah, I also got Issue #1442 and didn't realize option 2 hadn't been reported yet. Sorry!

It was reported in the very first mention of the issue in this thread.

[Jutsa]

Oh. That's the non-vegetarian version of the option.

Welp there you go Val.

[Tinhampton]

I got "Brigadier General Price" for #1430.1; the @@RANDOMNAME@@ listed here should therefore be a @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@.

[Avaerilon]

I suspect all of the names are @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro. For no. 3, maybe requirement is being a capitalist nation? Since the speaker is told to be from a head of sales agent for a company.

Clark Jeremysson is not a @@RANDOMNAME@@ entry; it is a deliberate joke that I imagine will tickle some nations.

[Valentine Z]

Thank you for all the contributions and notes! ♥ I will try my best to get an update pushed out... soon-ish.

I never want to give deadlines to myself with personal projects. Chances of missing it are too high. :P

[Drew Durrnil]

#1451 A Dread Letter

The Issue

Today, among your mail, a black envelope with a pentagram on it caught your eye. You opened the envelope, and the letter inside said: "Blessed Chosen One, I am happy to inform you that you have just been granted the Opportunity to Change Your Life. The magnificent energy of the cosmos is waiting to surround you. If you copy this letter and send it to 100 other people, you will be granted ONE HUNDRED blessings for ONE HUNDRED days. But! If you spurn these gifts — YOU will be CURSED FOREVER. Choose wisely!"

The Debate

1. "This is a disaster!" whimpers your secretary Sophie Ho, looping her four-leaf clover pendant around your neck and knocking on your wooden desk repeatedly. "I had a friend in elementary school who failed to pass on a chain letter she received, and she came down with terrible chickenpox afterwards. This is no joking matter, @@LEADER@@. You should immediately start making copies and sending them out if you want to protect yourself from harm."

2. "I'd bet my bottom @@CURRENCY@@ that this is just another teenage prankster," muses police officer Bajrakitiyabha Payne, inspecting the envelope with a magnifying glass to check for fingerprints. "But we ought not let this scoundrel waste your precious time with this nonsense. Grant my department permission to track down and punish the senders of anonymous letters composed with the criminal intent to frighten or defraud." She tosses the letter to one side, accidentally knocking a small mirror off your desk.

3. "If anything, this shows you're not taking your personal security seriously enough, @@LEADER@@!" yells bodyguard Fahd Ward, a former army officer, who has perused the letter and is now patrolling the vicinity. "What if that scumbag had sent anthrax in that envelope? Or what if someone had sent you a bomb in a gift parcel? You should mandate that all mail in @@NAME@@ should be sent in see-through bags. Those who have nothing to hide cannot object to full transparency."

4. "Holy @@ANIMAL@@! I can't believe we spent an entire morning discussing a stupid chain letter!" chortles Lana Curtis, your Minister of Underhanded Solutions. "But, if these letters are so unsettling, this gives me a brilliant idea. Why not produce different versions of such dreadful letters and send them to our political opponents? Distracting them in this way could be a good strategy for psychological warfare."

Issue by Frieden-und Freudenland
Edited by The Free Joy State

Looks like all names are random, though I wonder about the genders in option 1, particularly of the friend who's not directly named.

The names and genders to match those names are random, but the friend is always a female. I just got the issue.

[TalAkMaChen]

Two small corrections:
#1435 has all random names
#1441 has the option 1 title in italics: "manual titled Fires: They’re Not Lit."

[Jutsa]

Just got issue #788 - and, yep, my bad! It turns out option 5 is restricted to nations without a jury - but option 4 has no such restriction at all!
It's possible it's got a sports-based validity, but I suspect it's not restricted at all!

(I also forgot just how amazing that opening description is.)

[Jutsa]

#1453: A Salt and Battery [Candensia; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
Electric cars have vastly reduced air pollution in @@NAME@@. However, this has accompanied a surge in demand for lithium, a scarce element primarily obtained through heavy mining. As lithium salts are a critical component in electric vehicle batteries, your advisers fear a shortage could cripple electric car manufacturers and the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ lifestyle.

The Debate
1. “Without additional lithium, there could be a lot more horse-drawn carts on the roads, or even worse, gas guzzlers!” exclaims resource analyst Hillary Xavier. “But don’t worry, @@NAME@@ has plenty of untapped lithium deposits! The biggest ones just, uh, happen to be located in pristine nature reserves. Anyway, not using our own natural resources would make us dumber than a box of rocks. Give the mining industry the go-ahead to expand lithium extraction operations; it’ll keep our cars cheap and skies beautiful.”

2.“Doesn’t mining defeat the purpose of electric cars?” asks trade official Mario Einstein while eating from a lunchbox that is clearly labeled ‘Property of the Maxtopian Embassy’. “Rather than destroy our own environment, let somebody else destroy theirs. Dump lithium extraction in @@NAME@@, and instead rely on cheap imports from dirt-poor countries like Kawandaland. There’d hardly be any downsides. Well, I mean, the mining sector obviously wouldn’t like it, we might shed a job or two, and there could be supply disruptions whenever Kawandaland goes through a coup, but electric car manufacturers will be jumping for joy!”

3.“Lithium-ion batteries power tons of often-tossed electronics,” yaps @@CAPITAL@@-area sanitation director Shelia Love, who is wearing a T-shirt with the slogan ‘Garbage In, Treasure Out’. “We can reuse that lithium if we expand recycling infrastructure to accommodate the extra rubbish. Now look, this garbage idea has a catch — lithium recycling can’t beat mining in terms of output — so there’d be less of the stuff to go around. However, if we reduced lithium demand by hiking taxes on automobiles and electronics while also encouraging use of mass transit, we’d be able to make it work.”

I chose option 3. I also checked for internal numbering. Solid issue.

[Candensia]

My thanks to Pogaria for the excellent edit.

It took a while, but I'm really happy to see this one made it, shameless puns and all.