Presents...
The Football Fallacies
with The Man from Markovsky
WELCOME TO HEART ATTACK CENTRAL
Hello and welcome to The Football Fallacies. Right, this Under-18 World Cup is getting a bit crazy now if I'm being honest. I don't even know what to fucking say now nowadays. I've got so many emotions going through my mind right now. It's probably not the best thing trying to balance being a football armchair analyst with getting that online degree, but then again, it's my life I'm living here. Nobody can tell me what I want to do with my life! Nobody!
Okay, that got a little bit personal when it didn't need to. Let's go back to the topic of football then, shall we? After the first game against Tequilo in this competition turned into the Braydon and Bradley Show, spirits could be said as being high in the Abanhfleft camp. The youngsters were certainly in high spirits when they came out to play against Kohnhead. They were clearly carrying some momentum over from the last match, and soon we've found the back of the net twice in the span of twenty minutes through Braydon Aquino and Mavis McGlamery. Who else but Braydon would score the opening goal of the game, right? And of course it had to be an absolute thundercunt as well. Carl Wells knew very well that the only way that he was going to remain on the pitch was to just let the ball tear through the back of the net instead of tearing a whole through his chest. I'm telling you, anyone unlucky enough to stand in the way of a Braydon Aquino shot is going to lose a limb if they get hit by it or try to block it. There's just no stopping that bastard ball!
But whatever Levi Baak said to the young guns during the break, it definitely was weaker than what Elijah Godwin told his charges because them Kohnheadians just went out and started smashing us up in the second half! And I think I might have a theory why. In comparison to the Independent Associations Championship which happens to be running concurrently to the Under-18 World Cup, we've got two vastly different midfields in these two competitions. In the Independents Cup we have two midfielders who are too busy smashing up shins to even bother with creating chances, while in the Under-18 World Cup, we've got two midfielders who are too busy creating chances to even kick some shins. Not that I would recommend Griffith Salter to go crazy and just start tackling people willy-nilly. The state that his legs are in right now, he's liable to snap one of his own. The midfield was being overrun, sure, but then again, why in the world did Kohnhead have to resort to set pieces to draw themselves level? They've got only one guy handling most of their set piece duties, which is something I personally wouldn't do if I'm a coach, but then again I'm not a coach so the question is kinda moot. Anyway, from 2-0 up to level at 2-2, oh, it's just so bloody typically Abanhfleft of us. Such shite goals to concede as well. Inocencia Pendergraft should be saving both of those. Yeah, those bastard goals are going to haunt her when she goes to sleep tonight.
Facts, the only reason why Inocencia's going to get some sleep tonight at all is because Cleveland Sung saved her arse, as well as the arses of everyone else on this team. And once again it's from a set piece that we find what's turned out to be the winning goal. I mean, of course I like the fact that he scored for us, but then again, it's still a set piece! I expect this from a bunch of olive farmer and accountants like what the Fhulghamous Peninsula's got in the Campionato Esportiva, but not from a team that's supposed to be made of the best young talents Abanhfleft has to offer. I mean, Christ above, man!
Anyway, that's all that there is for me. If you've got comments of your own about this game or predictions for the next one then feel free to leave them down below. Until then, this has been the Man from Markovsky, still disappointed in our country.
█████KOHNHEAD 2 - 3 ABANHFLEFT
BARNARD (51') BRAYDON (10')
CURRIE (63') McGLAMERY (19')
SUNG (82')