AOCAF LXIII - Everything Thread

by **Savigliane** » Sun Mar 21, 2021 5:39 pm

LA REPUBBLICA
Where The Capital Gets Its News
POPULISTAS, ASD STUN SAVIGLIANE
VICTORIA DI MARZIO, politics

ACQUI BOLLENTE - In a shocking turn of events, left-wing parties Populistas and Alliance des Sociaux-Democrates made massive gains in tonight’s general elections, the first since the Savigliano Portal Event upended domestic politics. The two parties, by overwhelmingly unseating the incumbent coalition of Ligue-Est and Une Nation and winning a combined seventy-one of 150 seats, have ushered in a new, more progressive, era of governance in Savigliane. Populistas party head Alberto Caccini is set to ascend to Prime Minister, likely becoming the first Savigliano PM in twenty-nine years to base his government in Acqui Bollente rather than Villeneuve. Meanwhile, ASD has reached a landmark of their own, as left-wing rising star Danielle Bernard-Ricci is reportedly likely to be named the first-ever female President of the Savigliano Republic.

The election will come as a major shock to the center-right coalition that Alphonse Duhamel’s Ligue-Est and Emmanuel Saint Laurent’s Une Nation parties have worked to maintain despite recent events. Four years ago, such a result would have been unthinkable, as the two Villeneuve-based parties achieved a dominant majority in the previous general election. But a response to the Savigliano Portal Event and the ensuing immigration, economic, and public health crises that was viewed as heartless and overly interested in the bottom line ultimately sank them, and the Bonmaison Scandal - where government funds were illicitly used to subsidize the construction of a new football stadium - was the nail in the coffin. Outfoxed and outflanked by the left, and hemorrhaging support to far-right Piano di Dio, the party that dominated the 2010s just couldn’t handle the political pressures that came with shepherding Savigliane through the worst disaster in national history.

For the long-suffering left, consisting of Populistas, ASD, and likely a number of smaller left-wing parties such as Fronte di Liberazione and the Greens, the election could mark a turning point. Savigliane has historically trended rightwards economically and leftwards socially, and Ligue-Est’s decision to abandon their right-wing base to follow the trend paid off massively - resulting in many decades of business-friendly Villeneuve rule. Yet the Savigliano Portal Event, and the resulting humanitarian crises, seem to have brought the left together and put compassion back into politics. A platform of expanded mental health coverage, liberal immigration rights (especially for post-Event refugees), and worker-friendly economic policies proved massively successful at maintaining the base while attracting disillusioned Une Nation and Ligue-Est voters, and Alberto Caccini has been given a resounding mandate to implement the most progressive policies in a generation of Saviglianos.

This election was also notable for the concerning rise of extremist parties, with the communist Fronte di Liberazione dei Lavoratori (Worker’s Liberation Front), Evangelista Rizzuto’s far-right nationalist Piano di Dios (God’s Plan), and a host of smaller parties all seeing sharp upticks in support. This was largely expected by analysts, who noted that the disruption caused by the Savigliano Portal Event would lead to both extremes, but Fronte winning sixteen of a possible 150 seats, and Piano eleven, still came as a massive shock. The major question facing both coalitions, but especially the right (Fronte have remained relatively civil on the campaign trail, Rizzuto’s Piano...decidedly less so) will be to what extent these parties will have to be accommodated in their post-election governing plans.

In the meantime, it’ll be the left-wing iconoclast Caccini who continues his meteoric ascent to the top. Since the Savigliano Portal Event, Caccini has rapidly risen up the ranks of the Populistas, playing an instrumental role in its transformation from a populist centrist party to a progressive one. While the man who once shoved Interim PM Alphonse Duhamel into a café table still has massive challenges to face - chief among them reconciling the left-wing of the party with the authoritarian centrist one led by Miranda Russo, his victory marks a resounding accomplishment for the Italophone community in Savigliane, who finally have one of their own after decades of Francophone domination. Governance in a fractured Savigliane won’t be easy for the new coalition, which has yet to decide between the Greens, Fronte, and Une Nation as their third coalition partner to reach a majority. But the opportunity to tackle that challenge is still a generationally-defining victory.

Savigliane 2 - 1 Nuovo Serone
Starting Lineup: DuCasse; Lamontagne, Blanco, LeClerc, Baudino; Auvergne, Dutto (Buvalelli 62'), Boisbouvier; Roux (Juvarra 70'), Squarciafichi, Barthelemy
Goals: Boisbouvier 35', Roux 62'
Lineup to face Audioslavia (4-3-3): DuCasse; Lamontagne, Blanco, LeClerc, Sauvageon; Auvergne, Buvalelli, Boisbouvier; Roux, Squarciafichi, Barthelemy
To face Audioslavia, Tlanx-Nulzk has made one change: replacing the attack-inclined Pietra Baudino at right-back with the kamikaze Nicoletta Sauvageon, who plays her club football in nearby Chromatika's second tier. Say what you will about the Galactico, but they don't lack heart.

by **Banija** » Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:39 am

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine With his first half brace last night against Sarzonia, Ilman Jawara scored his 100th and 101st career goals today for the Kadongo Kamu in all senior competitions! #Ilman100

@KadongoKamu The #9 became the second Banijan ever to hit the century mark of career goals scored. His second goal today also made it his 20th all-time AOCAF goal. Congratulations to him! #Ilman100

@GitongaKahara It's inevitable that Ilman Jawara breaks my record of 109 during World Cup Qualifying, right? Congrats at hitting the century mark! A living legend among us truly. #Ilman100

@MoravicaYouthAcademy Moravica Youth Academy grad Ilman Jawara has hit the century mark for the national team! Only a strong youth system can uncover Banija's next diamond in the rough. #SupportYouthSoccer #Ilman100

@BanijaEmbassytoValanora And yet another Banijan in Valanora finds career success! Soldarian FC striker Ilman Jawara has hit the century mark in terms of international goals scored. Congratulations to him! #BNJVAL #Ilman100

by **Netop** » Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:31 pm

Netop lose first match of AOCAF

It should have been at least a point against 176th ranked Ibixa, instead Netop find themselves at 0-0-1 with limited opportunities to pick up points in the coming matches as our 2nd AOCAF gets off to a horrid start. Being a pot four side in such a loaded competition was always going to be difficult and when you're drawn into a group with the likes of Banija, Sarzonia, and Northwest Kalactin it is always going to be difficult even if the second of those three teams did not participate in the most recent World Cup.

Banija won World Cup 86 and are a dominant force both in Atlantian Oceania and the sport of football, Sarzonia while not participating in the most recent World Cup has had lots of success in the past and are a pot two team for a reason and Northwest Kalactin are fresh off of a very good cycle in which they hosted the Cup of Harmony and just like Netop were very close to qualifying for a playoff for the World Cup. Now we need to talk about ourselves and the pot five team in Ibixa, we are fresh off of our second cycle where we the Friends came quite close to making the playoffs but ultimately lost out and crashed out of the Cup of Harmony in the Group Stage.

Now Netop is ranked 85 in the World but what about our first opponents of the tournament, Ibixa who had been blanked by Sarzonia in their first match. Well Ibixa is ranked 176th in the World following a poor World Cup 87 qualifiers that saw them pick up 13 points in 18 matches. And so as the two of us met for Netop's first match of the 53rd AOCAF it was clear that we were the favorites.

We showed that we deserved to be the favorites early on in the match with a goal in the 19th minute from Park with Holder having played a pretty ball to her and our 1776 in Savanna finished seamlessly to give us the 1-0 lead. That wasn't all and just seven minutes later it was the captain himself as Riggs got his head under a Tiana Mitchell cross to make it 2-0 and it seemed that we were going to pick up the three points pretty no sweat.

If only that would prove to be accurate as Ibixa would score four goals in a row to take a 4-2 lead. A defense that had been quite compact throughout the entirety of the qualifiers who had become known for holding teams like Zwangzug to one goal each time and one that had been overall quite consistent just let in goal after goal. One was a penalty and one was a corner however the other two were just open play goals where we were beaten by Ibixa a concerning sign for us with the AOCAF underway.

Riggs would get his second to make it a one goal game in the 67th minute just powering his way through the Ibixa defense that had struggled throughout (although not as much as us), with the assist being given to Adelle Benton who had come on for the struggling Lyla Wormald and had made an instant impact. This appeared to give us momentum and we spent the next ten minutes knocking on the door looking for the equalizer with Holder missing a 1 on 1 and Kinney hitting the post on a shot that had the keeper beat.

Unfortunately it would be a counter attack that spelled our doom as the team had been up pressuring with limited defenders back and after Mitchell lost the ball there was nothing a defense that had been gashed all day could do and Ibixa made it 5-3 in the 77th minute which really marked the end for us. Gilbert's goal in the 86th minute off of a corner gave us momentary hope but it finished 5-4 in a disappointing manner for the Friends as we really should have and could have won this game and to not get points is really really bad.

Next up we have a match with Banija the 6th ranked team in the multiverse and World Cup 86 winners who are coming off of a 4-1 thrashing of Sarzonia to give them their second win of the tournament and if we cannot even draw Ibixa there's no way we can pick up points off of Banija of all teams.

Group B                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Banija                                 2   2  0  0    8   4  +4    6
2 Sarzonia                               2   1  0  1    3   4  −1    3
3 Ibixa                                  2   1  0  1    5   6  −1    3
4 Netop                                  1   0  0  1    4   5  −1    0
5 Northwest Kalactin                     1   0  0  1    3   4  −1    0

by **Krytenia** » Mon Mar 22, 2021 5:23 pm

Ovine Protest Brings City To Standstill
Mark Newton reports from Stratford

The Agricultural Subsidies Bill hit a new snag yesterday after farmers' protests caused chaos in the centre of Stratford. Local sheep farmers, whose subsidies are likely to be under threat if the Bill passes, drove their herds into the city's Bellwether Square, bringing traffic to a halt for most of the day.

Stratford and the region around it has long been intrinsically linked with the sheep trade. The city itself has been at the centre of Krytenia's wool industry for as long as people can remember, whilst Loxford White cheese, a locally-made soft cheese, is made down the road in Loxford.

Police had trouble dispersing the protesters, mainly due to the fact that the sheep, unused to urban surroundings, had wandered around various points in the centre of the city, taking quite some time to round up before sending the protesters on their way.

The bill, meanwhile, is by no means guaranteed to get though the Witting. Several Reform MWs have stated that they will stand behind ex-Farming Minister Stephen Anderson in his opposition of the bill, whilst the remaining parties in the lower house have also said they will oppose for reasons varying from "lack of sustainability" (Greens) to "opposition to subsidised farming in general" (Conservative). Even the lone Communist MW, Ivan Kaladze, has chipped in, claiming that the provision of food is a basic human right and that farming should be run by the state itself. That may be a bit radical for some in the Krytenian parliament, but the fact that all sides are in opposition to Reform bodes ill for the bill.

by **Yesopalitha** » Mon Mar 22, 2021 5:40 pm

How Tell a Yesopalithan Unbidden from a Non-Yesopalithan Unbidden
By: Zn'sher, Unbidden Physician

One of the biggest caveats that sets the Unbidden Republic apart from any other nation is that it is a nation of Vampires, Ghouls, Mummies, and the like that have learned how to coexist together without being under an evil influence or a goal to take over the rest of the world. In fact, the citizens of the Unbidden Republic consider it their paramount duty to be the best representation of their individual races to prove to the rest of the world that they can coexist with humans and other fairer races without being a menace.

However, it can be understanding for a fairer race to see an Unbidden approach from the distance and panic, switching to a defensive stance and even looking for recompense for the things that may have happened to their peoples by the monstrous denizens that do not make up the Unbidden Republic. Fortunately, there are visual differences between the monstrous races and their Unbidden counterparts that the Lord Zaiden, the god of the Unbidden Republic, made apparent in all of the Unbidden Republic's denizens. Here are a few of them for the fairer folk to note so that there is no undue violence toward Yesopalithans for things that their monstrous counterparts have done.

Vampire: The Unbidden Vampire has no issues existing in sunlight. They don't prefer it, but there is no aversion to it or physical reaction to being exposed to sunlight. This means that if you see a Vampire walking toward you in the middle of the day, it's likely a Yesopalithan Vampire or an illusion. Besides this, the Unbidden Vampire has mastered the method of living off of a diet of 90% animal blood and 10% human blood, with their tenth meal being that of donated blood from any other species. No longer do they need the fairer folk's blood to survive; anyone's blood, even the blood of any other Unbidden Vampire, can do. Also, the Unbidden Vampire's stomach has the capability of getting nutrients from solid food. It's hardly a fair substitute for blood, but it can come in handy when blood is not readily available. These things combine for a very different kind of mannerism in the Unbidden Vampire that sees them far less aggressive, manipulative, or noteworthy, allowing for the Yesopalithan Vampire to exist in harmony.

Mummy: The Unbidden Mummy can be best described as a member of their original species wrapped from head to toe in wrappings. They no longer have the strutting walk, the high-pitched wail, or the ominous rot; instead, they are members of the fairer folk that have died but refused to move onto the Beyond. Having chosen their existence as a Mummy instead of a Skeleton, a Ghoul, a Zombie, or a Shade, amongst other things, the Yesopalithan Mummy still has the aura around them that demands authority so that they aren't cast out as laughingstocks, but this authority does not necessarily translate toward menace or ill intent. As one of the least populous Unbidden races in Yesopalitha, an Unbidden Mummy is hard to miss; one has likely never seen a mummy act or behave in the manner that a Mummy of the Chosen of Zaiden does.

Shade/Wraith: These are beings that are considered the most powerful of the Ghosts, or Spirits who have decided to not take on a corporeal form after death but remain in a semi-corporeal state. The Unbidden Shade differs from their monstrous counterparts because they do not bear the gaunt visage of a dead person. Instead, they are normal looking beings in all but the fact that they do not possess a physical body; they can actually alter their form so that 90% of light bounces off of them, meaning that it can be hard to remember at times that they are, in fact, incorporeal. The Unbidden Shade also does not wail or try to cause harm by virtue of their voice or any other means, and they do not have the ability to take over other beings' bodies without their express permission. Yesopalithan Wraiths have successfully masqueraded as being a solid being for multiple days in tests run in Unbidden Society, meaning that they have the ability to incorporate into regular society without any issues. It's not likely that an unlearned individual would even note that an Unbidden Wraith was anything other than a regular person, unless they possessed magical means of identification, a discerning perception, or a paranoid need of constant surveillance.

Zombie: Gone is the notion of a half-rotten, lumbering form that is hell bent on spreading its disease by making contact with their victim's bodily fluids as fast as possible. Instead, think of a being that's died but chosen to not go into the Beyond; instead, they choose to be a dead person walking without giving up their corporeal form. That, is, indeed, the actual disposition of a Yesopalithan Zombie - the only way that one would be able to tell that they were a Zombie and not actually a live being would be the fact that they don't breathe, they don't blink, and they don't have a heartbeat. Free from the constant drive to feed, the Unbidden Zombie instead lives off of the energy around them - almost like a plant. Instead of thriving in light like a plant, the Yesopalithan Zombie prefers the shadows, taking in its nutrients from the absence of light via a magical force that has yet to be fully defined. This means that there is no need to bite anyone, leaving the Yesopalithan Zombie to pass off as regular beings as long as they remember to blink once in a while and breathe.

As it has been shown, the Unbidden Republic's denizens are hardly like their monstrous counterparts, and these differences should be noted and celebrated. It is understandable, yet not acceptable for Yesopalithans to receive the same level of hostility and horror that their far off relatives deserve.

It is our hope that the world will come to notice that.

by **Chromatika** » Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:14 pm

AOCAF 63, Matchday 2: North Handoria 0-2 Chromatika
CMT: Kuznetsov '25, Hauser '48; North Handoria: None.
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - Anbient - Ingram - Guess; Winge - Larriet-Cortes - Kuznetsov; Hauser; Toussaint - Oveni.
Substitutes: Slaven -> Ingram ('57), Lin -> Winge ('72), Sen -> Toussaint ('78)

An Interview with Keira Anbient, Otherwise Known as The Other Keira - Part 2
By: Jordan Lawless

When Keira Anbient enters the room for our interview, the first thing that I notice is her hair. She sports a half-mohawk on her left side, with her the right half of her head in thick, dark brown curls. It's her trademark look, and she isn't afraid to sport it. There she stands, all six foot four inches with angular features and a calculating look, her light azure eyes sporting a look of intent, purpose, and commitment. She isn't the biggest footballer, but she isn't like a Meagan Kelly. Instead, she's sizeable yet looks mobile, imposing but not scary. She's a fullback, all right.

Clad in a simple blue blouse and black slacks with half inch heels, she strikes a commanding presence - you can't miss her if you enter the room. Her gaze isn't friendly nor menacing, but it's always calculating, always searching. She nods to me in a friendly way as she walks in and sits down, and then posits her hand as if to get me to speak.

"Thank you for making the time to talk to me," I start, and she just nods in agreement. She's never spoken in a one-on-one interview before. A few interviews with the local radio in high school, a commitment press conference when she made the decision to go to Pùr State University of all places. The press conference when she got signed by Kitara Athletic Association and made it to Banija. However, that's been it so far.

"Where would you like to start?" In interviews like this, it's always best if you let the interviewee take control of the situation. As someone who's never been in one before, it makes sense to let her get her point across. There has to a reason that she wanted this interview, and it makes the most sense to just let her take the floor.

"Do you know what it's like to be someone who shares the same name with the most famous footballer in Chromatika?" she starts, and we're off to the races. I can tell by the sound of her tone, her body language, her stature that she's thought this through, and it's a bit scripted but not word-for-word. She starts with talking about Keira Andisori and the career that she's had as a footballer and the prize that she is as a Chromatik citizen, and then goes into her childhood. I'll go into the main content about her interview next time, but here is the excerpt that I want every Chromatik to hear from Ms. Anbient.

"People become symbols. Some of them didn't deserve it, but a few actually did. Keira Andisori absolutely has earned that right. However, the name Keira nor the name Andisori is hers to own. Her name put together means something, and the fact that the name represents her means something, but there will be more people named Keira Andisori in the future, or other Andisoris, or other Keiras. She didn't put a patent on the names, you see. So, judge us based on our own actions, not the names that we emulate. Judge my career about how I play, not what she did. We play completely different positions in utterly different ways, she is way more pretty than I am, and I have no designs on the legacy that she has left behind. I'll focus on making my own."

Next up, some of the things that she said that I found absolutely insightful in the person that is Keira Anbient.

by **Busoga Islands** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 10:24 am

Delbin Kasekende Jr., leaving the hotel with a few of his teammates

"Well, it's our off day. Coach has given us the day off." Said the national team goalkeeper, Mustafa Taal. A couple of the players were dressed in street clothes. All wearing shades, as well- trying to hit the town without being recognized by fans.

"I mean, two games today, right? Which one is the gaffer going to?" Kasekende Jr. asked.

"The S&T game, of course." Govind Nigam said, who was Busoga's starting centerback. "He sees that as a priority. Not surprising- it's a game against the host nation, who are essentially consistent qualifiers for the World Cup. He'll send the scouts to watch the other game, of course- but he himself will scout out the Goldhorns."

"Fair enough." Delbin said. "Well, guys, let's go hit the town."

"I mean, you've got to know this place better than anyone- right Delbin?" Mustafa asked.

"Yea, of course. I've been playing here for a year." Kasekende Jr. said. "I imagine it's helped a little bit with the neutral support. Stelburg's a freaking great city man. Lots of people, lots of parties- you just gotta find the right spots."

"Ok, well, it's an off day for us." Mustafa said. "Tell us the right spots."

"Well." Delbin started. "We can go to Teuslandplatz, or one of the Palaces- the Imperial Palace especially. Lots of nice stuff there."

"We know that bro.. We've been there." Mustafa said. "Remember, we toured all the touristy sites when we got here! Man, you've lived here for a freaking year. I know you. You're as big a partyer as they come. You've got to know the scene in Stelburg, at least a little bit, right? Or are you gonna hide it from your national teammates?"

Delbin laughed and sheepishly grinned. "Of course I know the party spots!" He fired back. "You know, we're gonna need a few hours. It's Noon. The place I like to go to? We go VIP at 9, it'll start getting hype at 11." He began to look for the club owner's number in his phone. "He likes us. We're footballers- the fact that we go to the club gives it status, and of course, we've gotta be high rollers when we're there. But the bouncers like us, the ladies- we'll be fine."

"When's curfew tonight?" Govind asked.

"It's the only night of the whole tournament we don't have one." Mustafa said. "I was surprised too. BUt coach just said we've gotta be ready for 9 AM tomorrow. Wind sprints."

"We'll be fine." Delbin said. "Well, we've got a few hours. Maybe we can go to the Oontaz game..."

Later that night at a nightclub in Stelburg

Delbin Kasekende Jr., Govind Nigam, and Mustafa Taal were sitting in the VIP seciton at the club. It was 10:30 PM. The Siovanija & Teusland game against Aji No Moto had just ended, so a bunch of fans had started pouring into the club. Some were dressed up, some were wearing Goldhorns jerseys, a couple were ANM jerseys. A lot of blue. And not just jerseys- some in dresses, with Goldhorns symbol, or the S&T flag, painted on their face.

"See, I told you that this place would be awesome." Delbin said to Mustafa. Each of them was talking to a different woman that they had met that night at the club. He particularly was talking to a blonde woman whom he had obviously just met that night. She had told him that she was a diehard fan of 1912 Stelburg, which was his own club. The six of them had gotten bottle service(paid for by the 3 professional athletes, of course), and at around Midnight, they all decided to leave.

"Good night baby." Delbin had kissed her goodbye, and had gotten her phone number. After final getting his teammates to stand up, they walked outside the bar. "See guys, I told you this would be hype." And Govind and Mustafa just nodded. "IT's really a badass nightclub. Maybe we can comeback again after the tournament's done? I mean, I live here, so at least I'll-"

"HEY!" A random man walked up right in front of Delbin, and stuck his finger into Delbin's chest. He had a thick Teus accent, his face was blood red, and he sounded pissed. Of course, his words were slurring as wel. "WERE YOU TALKING TO MY GIRL OVER THERE?" He yelled.

"Your who?" Delbin said. "Man, I'm just trying to go home." And Delbin moved to step around him, while the man stayed in his face.

"NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN." The Teus man said. "She's MY girlfriend. I'm gonna marry her. You can go home."

"I'm not going anywhere." Delbin said. "Do you even know who I am bro?"

"I don't know, I don't care." The man said. "I don't care that you're half a foot taller than me. Stay away from my woman."

"What are you gonna do short stuff?" Delbin said. The man he was talking to wasn't even that short, at 5'7- but a 6'1 Delbin Kasekende Jr., who had the frame and build of what you'd expect a pro athlete to look like, towered over him. "You and what army? Are you gonna stop me?" As Delbin said this, Mustafa, sensing the tension rising, tried to pull Delbin's arm, and remind him why they were all in-country in the first place.

"I ain't scared of you BRO!" The Teus man said. And then the Teus man shoved Delbin. Delbin moved a few steps back after being pushed.

"Man, get the hell out of my way, I'm going home." Kasekende Jr. replied. He tried to walk around the Teus man, but the man shoved him again. Delbin then stopped, getting absolutely pissed.

"Delbin! Let's GO." Mustafa said, moving to hold Delbin back. "You don't want to get suspended." Delbin was clearly about to lose his cool. He was visibly angry, breathing heavily, trying to not get in a fight.

"Yea, that's what I thought!" The Teus man yelled. "What are you gon- OW!" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as Delbin Kasekende blitzed at him. It never took much smack talk to get a hothead like Kasekende Jr. going, and that was the final straw. Delbin took two long strides, stepped right into the Teus man's face, and threw a powerful left uppercut. The fight went about as you'd expect between this random joe schmoe and the 6'1 professional athlete- it was over quickly. Junior's left fist had sent the man stumbling backwards, and then Kasekende gave him a right hook that sent him straight to ground.

"That's what I thought you mother fucker." Delbin said to the man who was lying on the ground in crazy amounts of pain. "Step to me again-" And just then, footsteps came pounding behind them. Delbin and his teammates turned, and Junior's stomach dropped. The Teus cops were here. He was gonna get arrested. Fuck.

"You!" One of the cops yelled at Delbin. "Hands where I can see them!" And Delbin put his hands in the air.

"Look, officer, we're sorry." Govind said. "He plays for the ISladner national team, you know, we're here for-"

"The AOCAFs, I know, I know." The cop said. "I know who Delbin is. I'm a 1912 season ticketholder, damnit. I like him. But he just 1-2'd that man back to the days of the Teus Empire." The cop chuckled to himself at his joke, and then continued. "You two can come with me as well. You're not under arrest- but you'll need to explain. My partner here, will take this man to the hospital." The Teus man was concious, but lying on the ground in pain.

Delbin Kasekende Jr. knew he was in for shit. He got arrested, in his club city, at an international tournament. This story was far from over.

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 10:54 am

Bulls win 0-0
Cammers Proud as Audioslavia Successfully Shithouse Reigning Champs

There may have been a time where an Audioslavian celebration of a goal-less draw against a good team wouldn't have been appropriate, but those days are so far gone they're hardly worth talking about. As it stood on Saturday evening, Audioslavia just about managed to tread water against a superior team and escaped the game with a solitary point.

Rohan Cammers's choice of tactics ensured that the brightest part of Saturday's game was Rohan Cammers's choice of clothing, with the manager bedecked in scarlet and teal striped jodhpurs, a camelskin poloneck jumper and a hat that looked like something an eastern-bloc communist general would wear to a military parade. Audioslavia lined up 5-4-1, closed up the centre of the pitch and restricted the game to just three clear-cut chances - two for Baker Park, one to Audioslavia. A Koenraad Rijsbergen far-post effort that drew a fine save from Zach Johnston.

The feeling was, before the game, that any point whatsoever would be considered a bonus, and the real test would be to take at least seven from their other three games. Audioslavia will look to quell Savigliane's rapid rise through the ranks of international football next, before attempting to dig an even deeper hole for Saltstead than the one they currently find themselves in, having already lost an all-important six-pointer to the Swans.

Having lain their shooting boots to one side for the tough Baker Park opener, Audioslavia must find them again in order to take at least four points from the next two games. Anything less and they run a very real risk of being eliminated before they've even kicked a ball in the final game at Nuovo Serrone.

by **Pluvia and the Saxean Isles** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:31 am

Royal Marienburg University, Marienburg, Pluvia and the Saxean Isles

Prof. Charles Cunningham of the history department at the Royal Marienburg University felt refreshed. He'd slept wonderfully in his own bed, despite being up late, and he'd eaten a satisfactory breakfast for the first time in days. His wife was not there when he came downstairs, but she had laid out some breakfast for him and packed him a lunch with a note, So you don't starve - M. He was off to his first class and proceeded to teach with more vigor than he'd felt recently. He was glad his wife had seemed to see his side of the argument and was supporting him. He settled in to read another bit of the diary before his next class.

The last diary entry saw William II preparing for his meeting with the Lord Commander, the Lord Hasselbach. This would be his fifth individual meeting with a member of the Praesidium. William II hoped that by meeting individually with each member of the Praesidium, he could convince them to support his plans. Together they could put up a united front, but individually, perhaps he could break them down. The issue with the Lord Commander was that he was an uncompromising conservative, dedicated to the traditional ways of the military. A disciplined man, and one who had integrity, but someone largely opposed to the project William II was laying out. William II sought out his comrades from both university and the 1st Royal Lancers, sons of nobles, and commissioned them to find out who in the armed forces had fresh ideas and popular support enough among the troops and officers alike to possibly replace the Lord Hasselbach on the Praesidium. He also engaged professors, army officers, and foreign diplomats in discussions of military strategy. His compatriots returned to him with a name, the Lord Gilmour, a naval officer who had written two books and enjoyed support from many corners. He hoped to either persuade the Lord Hasselbach to adopt his new ideas or to be able to replace him with the Lord Gilmour, but it still promised to be a difficult task.

February 17, 1885

I have finished my meeting with the Lord Hasselbach and I am exhausted. The course I set out upon when I began to prepare for this meeting was to either convince the Lord Commander to accept the new military way of doing things or to convince him to step down in favor of the Lord Gilmour. Although it was not easy, I am proud to say I accomplished my goal.

Between when I received the reports from my compatriots about the Lord Gilmour and concluded my discussions on military strategy with my various conversation partners and this meeting, I sought about for ways to strengthen my position. At last, I hit upon the idea of utilising my new alliance with the Lord Treasurer and the Lord Ambassador. What better way to test their loyalty than to ask them to help me convince the Lord Commander, a notoriously intimidating figure? The Lord Treasurer had some preliminary figures mocked up about revenue and industrial development and the economy and was only too happy to help. His friendship with my family and his eagerness to show off his arithmetical talents more than enticed him. As for the Lord Ambassador, I asked him to prepare a report on potential threats from other nations and how the changes I was proposing would improve our standing and security within the region. He was only too eager to strike back at the man who had consistently belittled him and his ministry. Petty jealousy can be powerful if turned to the right purposes.

When our meeting began, I inquired after the Lord Commander's health and asked for a detailed status report on the armed forces. Despite his age, nearly the biblical threescore years and ten, he said he felt entirely healthy, fit to command troops on the battlefield. He also outlined, with impressive specificity, the forces at hand and their capabilities. Unfortunately, based on the reports I received from military officers when discussing strategy, I believed he was inflating our forces' capabilities. I asked him to outline how he would approach a hypothetical war with a nation that, as I described it, was technologically superior. He explained a rather conventional Pluvian military strategy, relying entirely too much on the action of cavalry and neglecting both artillery and logistics.

At this point in our conversation, I politely asked him to listen while I laid out my vision for the future of Pluvia's military. I talked of tactics, logistics, industrial development, the use and expansion of railroads, a military university where officers would be trained, not just selected from the ranks of noblemen, and my belief that we were falling behind and in danger of having heavy defeats inflicted on us by any enemy we encountered. I then yielded the floor to the Lord Treasurer, who explained the feasibility of such a plan and the effects it would have on the economy. The Lord Ambassador followed, with obvious glee, by discussing how the military reforms outlined would strengthen us against a number of foes and how it would enable him to ask for greater concessions in trade negotiations and the like. After their presentation, I queried whether he would be amenable to such a program. His brow furrowed, his fingers steepled in front of him, he refused. He said it would be a repudiation of his and my father's legacy. He foresaw a breakdown in discipline if this were imposed from above. He did not object to supplying the armed forces with better munitions, but downplaying the role of cavalry or other such strategic changes were unacceptable.

My face fell. I asked instead, since he was unwilling to go along with his monarch's wishes, if he would step down to become the commandant of the new military academy I was planning, or perhaps would accept the title of Executive Officer of the General Staff of the Pluvian Armed Forces, a position which might still allow him to exercise some influence. He refused again. At this point, I lost my temper and exasperatedly told him he could accept my reforms or step down and be replaced with someone who would. In a rare show of contempt, he laughed and informed me that I would have a revolt on my hands if I attempted to remove him, so well loved was he among the officers and regular troops. In any case, he asked, who might replace him? The Lord Gilmour, I told him. At this, he became apoplectic. I believe his exact reply was, "First, you wish to replace me! And who is the man you propose to take my place? A Saxean, a liberal, and worst of all, a navy man!" He dismissed the possibility of the Lord Gilmour being an adequate replacement. I pulled my trump card and told him of all the soldiers and officers both I and my comrades had conferred with, and how they were nearly unanimous in their praise of Gilmour. I boldly told him that I had full confidence in the man and that I was assured of a smooth transition between the two, with little to no dissent from the armed forces. I again offered him the chance to accept my reforms or step down. He closed his eyes, sighed, and accepted.

We negotiated a bit more about the particulars, but in the end, we came to a mutually acceptable agreement. I do not have any illusions that he will be as staunch an ally as he was to my father, and I expect him to go to the Lord Chamberlain and the Lord Steward and try to rally his fellow conservatives, but it is too late. He will bend to my will or I will replace him. I will outlive him, and in the end, the armed forces will be remade along the lines I envision. I shall appoint Gilmour commandant of the military academy in lieu of Lord Commander. Now to deal with the Lord Chamberlain and the Lord Steward. I shall have their obedience or I shall have their seats.

by **Hapilopper** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:33 am

WHAT'S THE QUESTION? AOCAF EDITION

Here are your contestants:
A stone handler from Garvinson, Ronald Hayes.
A roleplay factchecker from Hapilopper City, Kristen Holland.
A college professor from Buckridge, Carey Siegert.

"AOCAF for $200, please."

"Ronald."
Ronald: "Who is Yesoplathia?" "No." "Shit!" (laughter)
"Kristen."
Kristen: "Who is Pluvia and the Saxean Isles?" "Correct. Pick again."
(Context: Not much needed, nor is much appropriate from this corner. Pluvia and the Saxean Isles lost to Starblaydia, 2-0. Members of Team Hapilopper, however, were in attendance for the match, studying the Pluvian team, searching for any weaknesses they could exploit. According to head coach Thom Perkins, they think they found something.)

"AOCAF, $400."

"Carey."
Carey: "What is trolling?" "Correct. Go again, Carey."
(Context: While he wasn't preparing for the Pluvian match, Nate Ellis was on twii.tur, trolling both fans of Krytenia and Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, placing targets on a handful of players from both teams. While Nate said it was "all in good fun," some felt he was going a little bit too far, while others wanted to watch the Pluvian match a little bit closer to see just how serious Nate actually was. Because he's done this before - joked about cheap-shotting a player, then went out and actually did it.)

"AOCAF, $600."

*beep-beep-beep*
"What is twice? You still have control, Carey. Pick again."
(Context: Maybe he's tempering his expectations. In years past, Ernie probably would have vowed to score three or four goals. Either way, Ernie went on twii.tur and said he'd score two goals in the upcoming match against Pluvia and the Saxean Isles. This led to him getting yelled at by Head Coach Thom Perkins. "Not this shit again, Stevenson!" Thom shouted. Ernie said it was all in good fun, as an attempt to get Hapiloppian fans excited for the coming match, and he said he'd do all he could to follow through on this promise.)

"AOCAF, $800."

"Kristen."
Kristen: "Who is Stan Long?" "No."
"Carey."
Carey: "Who is John Cornett." "Good."
(Context: In an attempt to shake things up, Head Coach Thom Perkins has replaced Claire Randall with John Cornett for the Pluvian match, giving Cornett a rare start for Team Hapilopper in the AOCAF. Rumors persist over a midfielder getting replaced with Sweet Stan Long to give Garvinson's old Midnight Express Trio one final start before the rumored massive shakeup among Team Hapilopper's international roster for the next World Cup, but nothing has been announced as of press time.)

"AOCAF, $1,000."

"Kristen."
Kristen: "Who is Richard Taggart?" "Correct."
(Context: Unfortunately, Richard "Pancakes" Taggart landed awkwardly on his wrist after trying to get the ball in a physical training session. While X-rays showed nothing was broken, head coach Thom Perkins has taken Taggart out of the lineup for the Pluvian match. He will be replaced by Steve Erickson, a fellow mainstay from the original Hapiloppian lineup.)

by **Valanora** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 12:36 pm

Vanorian Trivia!

1. What is the name of the dynasty that has ruled over the lands of Valanora the longest?
A: Soldarian
B: Lopez
C: Hawk
D: Raynor

2. How many different nations are included in the Eternal Empire?
A: 4
B: 5
C: 6
D: 7

3. What former island state was formally annexed into Valanora?
A: Vyinta
B: Sabine and Caddonia
C: Capri
D: Arrosia Isles

4. What city does the High Preistress reside in?
A: Mar Sara
B: Gladerial
C: Raynor City
D: Char Sara

5. What semi nomadic people inhabit Valanora?
A: Anduin
B: Dark Templara
C: Caddo
D: Gahandrian

6. What major city is located within the Spine of Arrosia mountain chain?
A: Stormguard
B: Turbani
C: Vaharia
D. Longview

7. What island city is affectionately known as the "Rose City"?
A: Kareen
B: Capri
C: Ibini
D: Sabinal

8. What major port is considered to be a major tourist destination?
A: Rinaldi
B: Port Swell
C: Ibini
D. Quel'Thalas

9. What is the name of the sub continent that Sabine and Caddonia is located on?
A: Vephrall
B: Vircais
C: Kura Pelland
D: Vyinta

10. Who is the closest nation to the Eternal Empire?
A: Banija
B: Farfadillis
C: Equestria
D: Siovanija and Teusland

by **Jabal Akhdar** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:14 pm

Excerpt from the live-blog of the news magazine The New Week National Atlantic News Spectating Economist Time Man.

A Surgical Strike? Whispers of Coup in a Forgotten Land

de facto

The New Week National Atlantic News Spectating Economist Time Man style guide uses first names when discussing dynastic issues where many or most participants share common patronymics, family names, or surnames.

Present day in Radewah, suburb of Abqaturah.

end

former World Cup winners!

by **Flavovespia** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:53 pm

Flavovespia hold on for 3 points

Flavovespia’s AOCAF Cup 63 campaign got back on track, as they recorded a win against Delaclava. The match was an entertaining one, with plenty of action on both sides of the ball, and the standard of football was good from both sides.

Flavovespia kept the same starting XI from their defeat to Dogsmouth, but there was a sense that, without an improvement in this match, plenty of the players may not see much more time on the pitch. The 5-2-1-2 remained, with critics divided on the merits and drawbacks of the system after one game with it.

Flavovespia’s hopes didn’t look all that great early on. A free kick was given away on a dangerous position near the box by Ian Cohen. Martin Bartoš and Minotauro Meñica ( a familiar face to plenty of Flavovespian football fans) stood by it, raising the question of whether it’d be a shot at goal or a ball into the box. It was the former, and it was well placed and cleverly taken. It curled around the ball and just inside the post, with Aarif Muhammad maybe in a poor starting position to begin with. Nevertheless, Delaclava had an early lead, and they would be well up for the fight to hold on.

Flavovespia piled on some quick pressure, in particular looking at the two Davids in the wing back positions to provide width. Delaclava seemed to have weathered a spell of pressure for 10 minutes, and were getting more possession. But then on 23 minutes, Kieron Player cut out a pass and fired forward. Steven Hall with a deft first touch made it 3 v 3 running towards goal. Hall played in Coleman, timing his run perfectly to get between Davis and Meñica. One touch readied the shot, and fired past Donat Soler, the goalkeeper coming out to close the angle, but just not agile enough to stop the shot flying past him. Flavovespia had levelled in a game and got their first goal of the tournament.

There was attacking intent from both sides as the first half went on, in particular from Delaclava who weren’t afraid to send bodies forward. Unfortunately in the final minutes of the first half, that cost them on the counter. A quick clearance by Tony Gardner left David Lyons with acres of space to charge down the left wing with. Almost all the way to the corner flag, he fired in a low cross. Michael Cole was in point blank range, so Zane Davis had no choice but to slide in to try and block the cross. Davis could only knock the ball straight past Soler and into the net. Hard luck for Zane Davis to have an own goal on the scoresheet with his name next to it, but Flavovespia were happy to take the lead anyway they could at half-time.

With the lead going into the second half, Flavovespia now looked more comfortable. Delaclava, an attacking side anyway, now had to go forward with more numbers and risk to try and find an equaliser, and arguably the setup of Flavovespia was well suited to handle that. Nevertheless Delaclava looked like they could score again, the physicality of Damian Soto giving the Flavovespian defence a tough time in particular.

Just after the hour mark however, it was Flavovespia who struck again to make it 1-3. Hall was the playmaker again. A good pass allowed Michael Cole a run at goal, and the striker held off Arnau Mata well. Cole’s shot had power and placement, little Soler could do as it flew across the box and into the other side of the goal. Michael Cole had his first international goal, and for now at least, it looked more comfortable for Flavovespia.

The two goal cushion lasted all of 5 minutes. Martin Bartoš found space on the right wing to aim a cross towards the back post. Damian Soto rose highest to get a firm header on the ball, completely outmuscling Ian Cohen. The header was on target and that was the second for Delaclava. Hope returned for the side returning to this tournament. 24 minutes remained for them to find an equaliser.

Whilst Flavovespia had a handful of attacks in the latter stages, it’s fair to say that Delaclava were making much more risks, and more of the action was towards the Flavovespian goal. Delaclava showed a dogged determination to find a way through, but Flavovespia had numbers back, with quality as well as quantity. Alexander Clarkson made his debut as one of three defence-minded substitutions made, and showed good hustle to hinder attacks through the middle.

The final incident of note came seconds before injury time. Another attack from Delaclava saw Daniel Lansdell head the ball away out of the box. David Blythe got there first, and looked to try and counter, with barely anyone back for Delaclava. However an outstretched leg sent him sprawling. With the Delaclava player already on a yellow card, the referee reached for a second yellow, and then the red card. 10 v 11 for injury time, hopes of an equaliser were pretty much gone with that.

Flavovespia get their first win of the AOCAF Cup 63, a decent milestone for the team and Marcus McCormick to reach at this stage. In the other group game, Dogsmouth lost 1-2 to Quebec. Quebec play Delaclava next, if Quebec can get a second win, they’ll be in a good position to make the knockout stages, regardless of the result against Flavovespia. Dogsmouth play Valanora in the next Matchday. Valanora will look to get their first win of the tournament, whilst Dogsmouth can’t afford another loss else qualification to the knockout stages could become a challenge. As for Flavovespia, a break for a Matchday, to reflect and recoup.

Match Ratings:

Aarif Muhammad – 5 Made an error with the first goal, improved as the game went on but slow start caused an issue.
David Lyons ( <-> Vaughan 76’ ) – 6 Was the provider for the second goal, but did also show some defensive fragility on his side of the pitch.
Alexander May – 6 Nothing spectacular, but also nothing particularly wrong.
Tony Gardner – 6 Had a fairly decent game, preventing almost all clear cut opportunities through the centre, but a little disappointing to get booked.
Ian Cohen ( <-> Lansdell 67’ ) – 3 Was unfortunately a weak link, responsible for both goals conceded.
David Blythe – 7 Showed good intent at both ends of the pitch, a player who’s adapted well to the 5-2-1-2 formation.
Kieron Player ( <-> Clarkson 73’ ) – 7 Some good passing and awareness through the back, although looked a bit fatigued before being subbed off.
David Clark – 6 Not a bad performance, but also a little anonymous from Clark.
Steven Hall – 8 Was a thorn in the side of Delaclava most of the game, got 2 assists and deserved the plaudits.
Michael Cole – 8 Off the mark internationally in his 3rd game, performances like that will keep him in the national team for a long time.
Scott Coleman – 8 Scored with his usual composure and poise, and was part of a strong attacking trio this game.

Daniel Lansdell ( <-> Cohen 67’) - 6 Was definitely a step up on Cohen, did decently although room to improve is still there
Alexander Clarkson (<-> Player 73’) - 7 Didn’t look like he was a debutant at all, was key in dealing with most central threats, only one loose pass leading to an attack an issue.
Scott Vaughan ( <-> Lyons 76’) - 7 Was defensively solid in a part of a pitch Flavovespia were having a few issues in and also made a couple of good long balls forward.

by **North Handoria** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 4:27 pm

All About The Gothanita Isles
North Handoria: Embracing Socialism
Part 1: From a perspective of a housewife
Editor's Note: While Otksarin chose to submit text information about different aspects of the country for this "All about TGI" compilation, we at North Handoria don't agree with the approach. Instead, we will be posting a series of articles talking about the nation from different viewpoints of people. They may be in a interview format, or even in a text based format written from the first-person perspective of a person.

When people ask me about whether my country is being overly oppresive, I look at them, and wonder "what the hell are they saying?"

Okay - maybe you think that it is because we don't have free elections and as such. But North Handorians take charge of their own policies and what the country does - so you can consider that rather than wasting time on elections, we just call local council meetings like calling a town hall in other cities. And people from the city, that zone as we call it here in North Handoria, will choose whether they should turn up for that meeting, and voice their opinions to the people in the civil service, and they will in turn pass it on to the head of the civil service, who is effectively our representative in the Council of 4 (refering to the meeting between leaders of the 4 member nations of TGI) meeting.

Here in North Handoria, we believe in working together for a common good. As a result, rather than looking at individual growth in terms of wealth (wealth is a very foreign concept in North Handoria even till today), we have chosen to adopt policies where the nation as a whole grow together. For instance, instead of Gross Domestic Product as a measure of growth, we have many other indicators, such as the PHI (Population Happiness Index), the EPS (Environment Protection Standard), and the CRI (Civil Rights Index).

Handorians are proud of the fact that we have high levels of civil rights. In many democracies they may consider this to be the "utopian left". We consider this as the norm. If there are any policies we dislike, we go on the streets to protest. If the leadership decides to impose privacy-threatening policies, we will raise our objections pretty freely. There isn't "political freedom" in the normal sense, but our civil rights are well regulated and protected.

Handorians are also proud of the socialist policies that we have here in the country. Universal healthcare, universal basic income, free education, free housing. These are policies which have been implemented over 30 years ago, and they still exist. Rather than putting up with "private companies" and "corporations", we have instead chosen to set our differences aside, and attempt to distribute the resources more evenly. Of course, if you are good and hardworking, you get slight benefits, such as extra resources, a rank increase, etc. But we won't forget the people who are unable to work for the country because of various reasons, such as disabilities, or health issues. Instead, we take care of them, providing them free food, free shelter, and ensuring that they are able to lead a happy life here in North Handoria. These policies are what make Handorians happy, and what that keeps our PHI increasing.

Many countries have chosen to prioritise money and their GDP. Instead, we focus on policies which protect the environment. Money is short-term and if you lose it, you can get it back. Not our environment. Not what Mother nature gave us. Which is why we have chosen to focus on being carbon neutral. In fact, over the past 7 years, we are proud to say that we are carbon negative. Not many countries can say the same.

In short, for me, North Handoria is a happy place to live in. I would say it is a beacon for aspiring socialist countries around.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 4:30 pm

OOC: This RP will be divided into two parts - one before the MD3 cutoff and one after MD3 cutoff. Let's say RP overload isn't good.

The Agent

PART 3.1 - Turning Tables

When Pierre woke up, all he could see were grey and smell the East Coast sea salt of losses. It started to rain just as the cab reached five blocks off the funeral home, and even the sky seemed to mourn the death of Elora Watkins as the funeral home's parking lot was filled to its every last spot. The neighbourhood, built mostly in the 1970s and 1980s (so almost sixty and seventy years ago, for those who haven’t done their maths), represented the ranks of formerly nouveau riche who by this point had established themselves as local 'elites' for some time, and Elora unintendedly ended up spent the past decade of her life here.

Marked by age 37, one cannot deny the extent of tragedy in the very funeral. Sure, she had lost her husband, a respected indigenous leader whom he had met while they were both working as environmentalists, to illness several years ago, but nobody had expected her to pass so early as well, passing overnight on a sleep after brief battle with an apparently curable illness. Perhaps that was why we were seeing a slightly smaller crowd than expected (many were still travelling all the way from the East Coast or abroad), but the mood still made it seem as if everything were packed. Nobody, not even the local Rabbi with decades of experience would have been able to provide easing statements right away with that.

Upon entering the funeral home, the fellow mourners were greeted to one of the most grim sights in the history of the neighbourhood. Pierre McCarthy's suits were dripping with the rain, his dark-brown hair wet and rearranged, and his face was so distraught with the sense of loss that very few would recognise him as one of the most powerful agents in all of the Multiverse. As he entered into the main hall, after dropping an envelope of money in the box intended to pay for the funeral, Pierre wasn't sure if he was walking in the inferno or the city after a historical earthquake. He looked down, not looking at Elora's parents, brother or poor daughter named Zinaida Woodcarver, partly out of his sense of loss in not being able to be present for her last moments, but also due to all the weight time flushing at us all.

As he watched, Pierre kept imagining himself losing control of his emotions and words, and as he bowed thrice while offering incense as a Quebecois custom, Pierre refused to see the high school self of his creep up again and take him away. Pierre knew his best intention was to never go back into those days, especially as his mistakes were simply far too costly in his petty eyes to say otherwise. He had left behind most of those days for a reason- some of so-called 'old friends' he had blocked on almost every form of social media, and some he simply no longer had any words to say. But this time, it was different, and nothing of forced nature of Maison McCarthy's business was required for him to go.

He's been through everything at this point- from the underground nightclubs in Esca, Mytanija, to the locker rooms of Cold Hill University, but the funerals still had him feel things that he thought he had left it all behind and this wasn't something Pierre, even as a father, was capable of handling it for more than half an hour of his life. Now he was mourning for the dead beloved of his in this dark, quiet funeral home, with everybody else feeling no joy, and some mourners smoking cigarettes on a smoking room to destress in what's not really an effective way to non-smokers.

Pierre didn't know what to say to Elora's soul, as he walked out of the main chamber- there was nothing left for him to say any further at this point in time. Frankly, he didn't want to think about it either- a small mistake that hurt both parties when they were fifteen still left Pierre not wanting to go back and imagine their younger selves. The photo of Elora smiling on the photo frame, the older version of the pretty, brown-haired Jewish woman of Ashkenazi origins (a rarity out in the East Coast), was more than enough.

by **Siovanija and Teusland** » Tue Mar 23, 2021 4:50 pm

AOCAF LXIII

Matchday 3

Group A

Oontaz 2–2 Freeport
Siovanija & Teusland 3–1 Aji no Moto

# Group A                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Busoga Islands                         2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6
2 Siovanija & Teusland                   2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
3 Aji no Moto                            3   1  0  2    5   7  −2    3
4 Freeport                               2   0  1  1    2   4  −2    1
5 Oontaz                                 3   0  1  2    2   6  −4    1

Group B

Banija 2–0 Netop
Northwest Kalactin 3–3 Sarzonia

# Group B                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Banija                                 3   3  0  0   10   4  +6    9
2 Sarzonia                               3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
3 Ibixa                                  2   1  0  1    5   6  −1    3
4 Northwest Kalactin                     2   0  1  1    6   7  −1    1
5 Netop                                  2   0  0  2    4   7  −3    0

Group C

Chromatika 2–1 Farfadillis
Euran Oceania Territories 2–3 North Handoria

# Group C                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Chromatika                             3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9
2 Farfadillis                            2   1  0  1    6   6   0    3
3 Huayramarca                            2   1  0  1    9   8  +1    3
4 North Handoria                         3   1  0  2    6   9  −3    3
5 Euran Oceania Territories              2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0

Group D

Starblaydia 3–2 Krytenia
Hapilopper 2–1 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles

# Group D                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Starblaydia                            3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9
2 Hapilopper                             2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
3 Krytenia                               2   1  0  1    6   4  +2    3
4 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles            3   1  0  2    2   4  −2    3
5 Yesopalitha                            2   0  0  2    1   5  −4    0

Group E

Vilita & Turori 0–1 Ko-oren
Gyatso-kai 1–1 Xannerian Sunbelt Islands

# Group E                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ko-oren                                2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Vilita & Turori                        3   2  0  1    8   4  +4    6
3 Xannerian Sunbelt Islands              3   0  2  1    5   7  −2    2
4 Overseas Territories of Sylestone      2   0  1  1    3   6  −3    1
5 Gyatso-kai                             2   0  1  1    2   5  −3    1

Group F

Savigliane 3–5 Audioslavia
Saltstead 2–1 Nuovo Serone

# Group F                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Savigliane                             3   2  0  1    7   7   0    6
2 Baker Park                             2   1  1  0    4   1  +3    4
3 Audioslavia                            2   1  1  0    5   3  +2    4
4 Saltstead                              2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
5 Nuovo Serone                           3   0  0  3    3   8  −5    0

Group G

Jabal Akhdar 0–0 Qasden
Tropicorp 0–2 Equestria

# Group G                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Equestria                              3   1  2  0    3   1  +2    5
2 Demot                                  2   1  1  0    4   3  +1    4
3 Tropicorp                              2   1  0  1    5   6  −1    3
4 Jabal Akhdar                           3   0  2  1    4   5  −1    2
5 Qasden                                 2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1

Group H

Quebec 2–3 Delaclava
Valanora 4–1 Dogsmouth

# Group H                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Valanora                               2   1  1  0    6   3  +3    4
2 Quebec                                 3   1  1  1    6   6   0    4
3 Dogsmouth                              3   1  0  2    3   6  −3    3
4 Flavovespia                            2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
5 Delaclava                              2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3

by **Krytenia** » Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:54 pm

WHAT IF....Smith and Ellis had a proper fight?

Football fans may well remember the last AOCAF Cup, where Krytenia's Neil Smith and Hapilopper's Nate Ellis ended up brawling on the pitch. With both men sporting some rather visible "war wounds" from the altercation - a black eye for Ellis, and a broken nose for Smith - it led us to wondering: what would happen if the pair were to square off in the boxing ring?

To do this, we fed a whole mess of stats into a large data server, from calf size to estimated reflex speed, and let the AI do its job. After several hours of running and re-running scenarios (and some pretty swanky machine learning algorithms) we ended up with a blow-by-blow account of what would be the likely outcome of such a match. So without further ado, here's what we ended up with.

First, the (abridged) tale of the tape:

As you can see, Smith is the heavier man - perhaps unsurprisingly - but otherwise, the two are quite evenly matched. Given that Smith's extra bulk is more fat than muscle - not to say he's overweight, mind, more that there's clearly not the definition in the abdominal area, say, that there could be - that fifteen pounds could even be a hindrance. With that all said, it's time to get on to the fight itself.

Round 1. Our AI fight simulator has both men using the opening three minutes feeling each other out. Ellis, being slightly faster on his feet, is using the jab to keep Smith out of range, whilst the Krytenian is happy to control the centre of the ring, blocking his opponent's jab and throwing the odd punch where he thinks a gap is there. There's little to choose between the two at this point, but in the eyes of the sim, it's the man from Hapilopper who shades the round.
Ellis 10, Smith 9

Round 2. Ellis starts the round still working behind the jab, but with more gusto. A left to the body shakes Smith out of his comfort zone, and Ellis follows up by moving inside and landing a couple of decent blows to the body and chin. This seems to make the Stanton man aware that yes, he's in a fight, and Smith hits back late in the round with a tasty left cross-right hook combo. The round still goes to Ellis on balance, though.
Ellis 10 (20), Smith 9 (18)

Round 3. Smith finally begins to get into the fight properly. The Krytenian is looking to work inside, trying to negate Ellis' jab-and-move tactics, and the round is peppered with short range punches and a lot of holds. Unsurprisingly, with Ellis largely on the back foot, it's Smith who takes the round.
Ellis 9 (29), Smith 10 (28)

Round 4. With the bout delicately poised, one fighter would clearly need to grab the bull by the horns. It's Ellis who takes the opportunity halfway through the fourth, getting a right through Smith's defences before ducking inside and delivering an uppercut that sends Smith to the canvas. It's not enough to keep the Krytenian down, though, and Smith is on his feet well before the end of the mandatory eight-count. Ellis is unable to build, though, as Smith gets on the front foot late in the round, working behind his own jab and keeping Ellis from planting his feet and working his opponent. Even so, the knockdown sees the round clearly given to the Hapiloppian.
Ellis 10 (39), Smith 8 (36)

Round 5. Having been knocked down in the previous round, Neil Smith is rather less than happy. His anger, however, leads to a lack of discipline that his opponent is only too happy to take advantage of. Great holes are opening in Smith's hitherto effective guard, and a right hook almost sends the Krytenian to the floor for a second time. That said, Smith's aggression did lead to several well-landed punches, with a series of body shots sending Ellis into the corner. A close round, all in all, that the computer shades for Ellis.
Ellis 10 (49), Smith 9 (45)

Round 6. Thankfully, Smith decides to channel his rage somewhat in this round. The defence, whilst not nearly as cautious as in the early rounds, is at least holding, and the Krytenian goes from being aggressive to merely assertive, picking his battles and dominating the round. A particularly well-placed left opens up a small cut above Ellis' eye in the closing seconds, and Smith wins his second round of the contest.
Ellis 9 (58), Smith 10 (55)

Round 7. It's the Hapiloppian's turn to lose his rag; the cuts man has done a decent job on the physical damage, but mentally Ellis is absolutely incensed. He lands a couple of nice punches on Smith, with one particular fist missile smacking the Krytenian square in the chops and giving him a split lip. The holes in the guard, though, are there for Smith to exploit and a devastating three-punch combination opens up Ellis' cut and puts him down for a count of eight. Smith stays in control for the last thirty seconds or so, and reduces the deficit to a single point.
Ellis 8 (66), Smth 10 (65)

Round 8. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Both fighters throw caution to the wind, and the bout descends into an all out slobberknocker. Ellis sends Smith to the corner with some powerful shots to the body, and the Krytenian gets into the clench to manoeuvre his way out. In the end, though, it's Smith who has the last laugh, with a granite slab of a right rearranging Ellis' mental faculties and putting him down for the count.
Smith wins (KO), 1:09, R8

So there you have it. The AI says a tough brawl with our man coming out on top in a fight his opponent had the upper hand in early on. Let's just hope the pair don't try to replicate it on the field of play...again...

by **Delaclava** » Wed Mar 24, 2021 10:35 pm

AOCAF defeat of Quebec a vanquishing of past demons

It was the finest moment of modern Delaclav soccer history. In the middle of the World Cup 85 qualifying campaign, the Phoenixes came to Manchester to break in a brand new stadium, the 110,000-seat Pride of Manchester, and looked to acquit themselves well against qualification favorite Jeruselem. Instead, they pulled off an improbable 2-1 victory with two goals from the program's newest star, Lukas Meyer, and briefly kept alive their own qualification dreams.

And then, it all went so, so wrong.

Just two games later, the Phoenixes eked out a draw against lowly Simpralia in Cleopatrana, playing with about half the regular squad. The other half was found to be more interested in post-game coital congregations than the games themselves, and were suspended for the remainder of the campaign. Tim Landers was dismissed as manager after getting sold out by rival manager Dhiego Vera; both men lost their jobs at Steckholl United and Cleopatrana SC. An olive branch was extended to a few of the offending players - Donato Girardi, Pavel Cicak, Rhydian Campbell - for the Cup of Harmony, then taken away later.

When World Cup 86 qualifying rolled out, the team was in severe disarray. Morale was low, and so was their ability to possibly match the high expectations placed on them by the public. The Phoenixes crashed out of that campaign lamely, and weren't even entered to contest #87. The sequence of events wasted the primes of countless Delaclav stars - Cicak, Valentin Gusev, Keghart Nazaretian, Keating, Kelly Joseph, and captain Keaton Durbridge - and entirely lost former next-generation hope Artem Kohut to Busoga Islands.

So this is a team that's seeking to rebuild, giving it their best shot. While Girardi and Zane Davis have truly reconciled with the squad after their past indiscretions, the rest of the team consists of dedicated veterans and promising young talents, fully focused on making the best of a dysfunctional program. They're all business, working hard on the pitch, and using their free time purely for recovery, nutrition, and more constructive leisure. Johannes Detmer has banned alcohol, drugs, and any visitors other than known friends and family. Outsiders may find the measures draconian, but the players are responding well to the changes. "We don't have a problem with these rules," said Kent Lindblad, the youngest player on the squad and one of the brightest prospects. "They're not hard to follow, and it's keeping us focused. We're all bought in anyway, and these are changes we all agreed on because we're looking to win and improve."

Girardi, one of the formerly disgraced players, who now has re-obtained his captain's band, agreed with that sentiment. "We lost our way in that maiden campaign. We got too wrapped up in all the new wildness available, and forgot to keep doing what we'd done to get the opportunities in the first place. Those of us who were suspended, we were selfish, we didn't represent ourselves or our country well. The standards we have in place are designed to get us back on track."

And in getting away from past mistakes, some of the old veterans on the team had a vested interest in picking up a victory over Quebec when the AOCAF draw came out. "They're a bunch of whores, plain and simple," Girardi stated bluntly. "We obviously take responsibility for our own mistakes, but we should have known better than to let their sleazy players and fans hang around us. The Quebecians were into weird shit - brother and sister stuff, they were trying to get us to fuck animals. There's a line, you know? Hertel and the lot of them, they're self-centered divas, and they got us away from working hard and playing well. That's our error and we're not making it again."

Dathan Ingram, the most tenured member of this team at just 23, put it more diplomatically: "We had some of our players hanging around those people, and clearly, they were a bad influence. It turned us into a version of this team that wasn't good. But we just have to put our best foot forward." And the Phoenixes had to do it more than ever as they stared down a 2-0 deficit after 30 minutes, with Martin Bartoš suspended after a late foul in the Flavovespia loss. (Incidentally, Bartoš made history as the first Delaclav to be simultaneous suspended in both domestic and international play for red cards.) A team that had become so unaccustomed to trust each other now needed to do just that.

The Phoenixes, old guard and new blood, worked together to get the job done. The forward pair of Damian Soto and Dathan Ingram broke down the defense on a deliberate counter-attack until Soto got in alone to tap in his second goal of the tournament, narrowing the deficit to one in the 41st minute. Lindblad tied the game in the 57th minute with a long-range strike. And then in the 82nd minute, the Phoenixes' veterans completed the redemption story, as an Ingram corner was unsuccessfully cleared and Girardi sealed the victory with a line drive from the top of the box into the bottom right corner. The Phoenixes were triumphant in victory, 3-2, their first in far too long.

This team is still hurting from the dysfunction of that World Cup 85 team and the fallout. Two pieces of that - Landers and Kohut - are on different teams at this tournament, Chromatika and Busoga Islands. Varlam Kovalev and Mark Stone have admitted they've missed their former teammate and best friend Kohut, and still stay in touch regularly. A quiet sort of tension still seemed to remain as Girardi celebrated the victory with his teammates, before walking past their vanquished opponents and former orgy-partners. Kazuo Martin looked on, surely thinking of how his development on the national team was stunted as he was placed by less dedicated personnel. Bartoš watched from the bench, a Verceolan whose provincial mates invaded that squad to begin with.

But for 90 minutes, the Phoenies finally put together another signature win, expelling a relic of the team's cursed past and finally taking a step in the right direction towards World Cup glory.

by **Chromatika** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:42 am

AOCAF 63, Matchday 3: Chromatika 2-1 Farfadillis
CMT: Toussaint '13, Kuznetsov '52; Farfadillis: Çídh, R. ('54)
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - Anbient - Ingram - Guess; Winge - Larriet-Cortes - Kuznetsov; Hauser; Toussaint - Oveni.
Substitutes: Si -> Larriet-Cortes ('63), Antonucci -> ingram ('74), Andersen -> Kuznetsov ('81)

An Interview with Keira Anbient, Otherwise Known as The Other Keira - Part 3
By: Jordan Lawless

The following are excerpts from the exclusive interview with Keira Anbient, Anomalies Center Back:

On her childhood:

"It was interesting, growing up on a household with two military parents. My father was a pilot during the Rainbow Revolution, while my mother was a major in the Chromatik army. They both joined the Revolution alongside the leaders that defected, and that's how they met. Dad was a disciplinarian but loved on us kids while mom was more of a leader by example. I moved around a lot while growing up, which meant that there wasn't too much room for friends; sports became my friend. I loved competing and overcoming limitations, doing better than how I'd done in the past. I was given the option between baseball, basketball, and football, and I chose football because of the impact that it's had in Chromatik history."

On her Pùr State University Career:

"I knew that PSU wasn't the best school for football. However, they have the best agricultural sciences school in the nation, and it's something I'm really passionate about. People need to be able to grow crops no matter the climate - there is no excuse for anyone to go hungry anymore. I was of the opinion that I could continue excelling in sports no matter which school I went to. Victories are nice, but not necessary. Once my sports career is over, my degree from PSU will ensure that I get to do what I want for the rest of my life. Worth it, in my opinion. I mean I was good enough to get on the Anomalies U-25 team, and the rest is what I make of it, right?"

On her being signed by Kitara Athletic Association of Banija under Aleksander Ivanovich
"Mr. Ivanovich has had an eye on me even when he was Manager of Anomalies. I used to have some scouts at my games. So, when he went abroad, I was a bit nervous, but excited. Sure enough, he made a pitch to the staff in Banija and they decided to trust him. I'm on the bench on the S-FPL squad at the moment, but I'm learning lots. Mr. Ivanovich is a fascinating footballing mind, and the opportunity to live in a foreign country and play with players from all around the world in a world-renowned league is something that I'm not taking for granted."

On her role model
"Role models are a strange thing - you don't want to idolize anyone because then you elevate them beyond the level that you think that you can achieve, which does nobody any good. I really respect Henri de Aea's game on the current squad, and there are aspects of Cierra Anderson's that is quite nice as well. Historically, I'm a big fan of how Luuk Aart was - strong yet silent. Worldwide, you have to really appreciate how some of the fullbacks play - Ko-orenite defenders come to mind. Yes, it's true that their entire footballing philosophy is different than ours, but you still need the personnel to play the style, and they do it like an art form."

On her goals
"To win a world cup title. No, really. I want to be the best center back in Chromatika and help the team reach heights never reached before. I am a firm believer in the idea that something that isn't dreamed can never be attained. So, how impossible of a goal it may seem to be, I will always aim for the very top. Realistically, my goal is to be the best player that I know how to be myself, and I will let the results take care of themselves."

If there's anything she wants to say to the fans
"People become symbols. Some of them didn't deserve it, but a few actually did. Keira Andisori absolutely has earned that right. However, the name Keira nor the name Andisori is hers to own. Her name put together means something, and the fact that the name represents her means something, but there will be more people named Keira Andisori in the future, or other Andisoris, or other Keiras. She didn't put a patent on the names, you see. So, judge us based on our own actions, not the names that we emulate. Judge my career about how I play, not what she did. We play completely different positions in utterly different ways, she is way more pretty than I am, and I have no designs on the legacy that she has left behind. I'll focus on making my own."

Through the entire interview, she never apologized, never raised her voice, never looked nervous. Keira Anbient was a true competitor through and through.

I wouldn't want to bet against her in the future.

by **Valanora** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:10 am

Vanorian Trivia!
The Answers

1. While the exact time ascent to the throne of the Elven Security Alliance, most scholars tend to agree that roughly around the year of 10,000 A.E. that the Raynor dynasty was granted rulership over the lands that would become Valanora in a city that bore their surname, thanks in large part to being an inclusive society and partnering with other local settlements that often were overlooked by Gladerial and their allies.

2. While technically there was six different nations that make up what is now known as the Eternal Empire of Valanora, officially there are only four recognized nations that make up the Eternal Empire: Valanora, the island state of Vyinta, the Dark Templara, and then the most recent addition in the form of Sabine and Caddonia.

3. The island state of Capri was formally annexed into Valanora nearly eight thousand years ago.

4. The High Preistess and the temple that she resides in is built into Mount Sumarja, which is located on the outskirts of Char Sara.

5. While their origins are unknown, as they refuse to speak of their history before coming to the Eternal Empire, the Dark Templara are a semi nomaidc and semi-autonomous people who resides in large portions of the mainland of Valanora, who swore fealty to the Raynor dynasty for the ability to inhabit the lands.

6. Located at the northern end of the Spine of Arrosia mountain chain, Longview is a bit difficult to get to but is a popular tourist spot for its lovely views and close proximity to numerous ski resorts.

7. Located on the island of Capri, it is not the city of the same name but rather that of Kareen that is known as the locals as the "Rose City" with fields of roses spotted through the city.

8. Recently described as the perfect vacation spot by the Banija royal family, Ibini and its beautiful natural harbors are considered to one of the premier tourist destinations in the Empire, compared to the stormy port of Port Swell, the more industrious Rinaldi, and the slightly secluded Quel'Thalas.

9. The nations of Vephrall and Kura Pelland once were located on the sub-continent that Sabine and Caddonia are located on, being successor states of those who remained on the land following the collapse of the respective government on Vircais.

10. While all the nations are located within the sub-region known as the "Glorious Southwest" it is the fellow island Empire of Equestria that is the closest nation to the Eternal Empire, being just off the northeastern shore, only slightly closer than Farfadillis from the northwestern shore.

by **Hapilopper** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:24 am

WHAT'S THE QUESTION? AOCAF EDITION

Here are your contestants:
A human guinea pig from Washington, Chris Baines.
A software developer from Pinkerton, Ashley Hale.
A safety inspector from Border City, Kerry Evans.

"AOCAF for $200, please."

"Kerry."
Kerry: "Who is Ernie Stevenson?" "Correct. Make your pick."
(Context: Pretty much self-explanatory. Ernie Stevenson promised the world that he would score two goals in the match against Pluvia, and he delivered. Interestingly, in the 49th minute, after he fired one past goalkeeper Kilian Kistler and into the top-right side of the net, Ernie looked over, spotted a camera, ran towards it and shouted "HEY, WTQ! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED? I CALL THAT THE DAILY DOUBLE!" Ernie explained to reporters after the match that he and the Stevenson family are huge fans of WTQ? and have watched it for years. Ernie's older brother, Drake, supported this claim during the match on twii.tur.)

DRAKE STEVENSON ✓

@HapiDrake81
When we were kids, Ernie and I would try to guess all the clues on @WTQHap. Still do when we watch it together.

#AOCAF : #HAPvsPSI

"AOCAF, $400."

"Ashley."
Ashley: "Who is Neil Smith?" "Correct. You have control of the board."
(Context: A recent Krytenian media post involved a simulated boxing match between Nate Ellis and Krytenia's resident 'unit', Neil Smith. The two threw down in a physical altercation during the last AOCAF, and many sports fans are eagerly awaiting the real-life rematch between Smith and Ellis. In this simulated boxing match, Smith was the victor, knocking Ellis out at 1:09 of the 8th round. Ellis was leading on points and had knocked Smith down at one point in the simulated fight. Nevertheless, Nate was not thrilled with the result.)

NATHAN ELLIS ✓

@NateEllis
That simulation is some babyback bullshit if you ask me. Neil Smith ain't knocking me down.

#AOCAF : #HAPvsKRY

"AOCAF, $600."

"Chris."
Chris: "..."
*beep-beep-beep*
"Who are Krytenia and Pluvia. Ashley, the board is still yours."
(Context: A logjam for second in the group! Hapilopper, Krytenia and Pluvia all sit with three points in Group D, behind clear leader Starblaydia with six points. Hapilopper is 1-0-1 with two goals against, Krytenia is 1-0-1 with four goals against while Pluvia is 1-0-2 with four goals against.)

"AOCAF, $800."

*beep-beep-beep*
"Who is Otto Pearce. Ashley, pick again."
(Context: Maybe this should be a compliment for Otto Pearce. On more than one occasion during the match, Pluvia would get some real great shots on goal, and a lot of that was because of the shrewd movement of Otto Pearce, even, at one point, performing an ankle-breaking juke on Nate, which both dropped Ellis to the turf and pissed him off royally. But since Nate had vowed to be a good boy on this day, since the Krytenia match, and Round 2 with Neil Smith, was next, the last thing he wanted was to risk a needless red card.)

"AOCAF, $1,000."

"Ashley."
Ashley: "Who is Eric Marlin?" "Correct. Pick again."
(Context: This one got a lot of people talking. During the halftime break, Thom Perkins walked over to Cooter Harris and Eric Marlin and suggested that Cooter sit down for the second half. "You've worked your ass off, Coot, you've earned it," Thom told his leading keeper. Rumors spread about a possible injury, and rumors spread about some kind of dissension among the Team Hapilopper ranks, helped by the fact that Cooter was nowhere to be found on the sideline in the second half. But where was he? He was in a cold tub in the locker room, drinking a cold beer and watching the second half on television.)

by **Busoga Islands** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:19 pm

Part I

Part 2

Delbin Kasekende Jr., sitting in the lobby of a Stelburg police station in Teusland at 3:30 AM, a few hours after the preceding events

Kasekende Jr. was getting ready to leave the police station. He, of course, had been brought over for questioning. At that time of night, it was bound to take a while- but they had taken care of everything.

They questioned the three players who were there- Kasekende Jr., Govind NIgam, and Mustafa Taal. All three of them had given their statements. There was another officer taking the man's statement whom Kasekende Jr. had punched, but they were at a local emergency room- not the police station. Kasekende Jr. had been given a court date. He wasn't going to jail- but it wouldn't be a fun process.

Kasekende Jr's stress levels were through the roof. As they would be, naturally, for somebody in his situation. They had called the manager and woken him up, since this was obviously going to get media traction. Hell, somehow he was already trending lightly on twii.tur here, although he was sure it would explode in the morning. Bumba was obviously furious. Kasekende Jr. had called his agent, as well, and left a message. His agent was asleep- he was sure that his agent would wake up to quite a flurry of calls in the morning.

Kasekende Jr. then heard his phone ring. Who the heck could be calling him at 3:30 in the morning? He looked at his phone and checked, and then gulped. Just three letters made his heart sink. Dad.

Kasekende Jr's father was Delbin Kasekende Sr, which was of no surprise. But Kasekende Sr. was a man of many talents, and a very important man. Back when Busoga was part of Banija, he was the starting national team goalkeeper for the Banijan national team. And then when Busoga became independent, he became the starting national team goalkeeper for Busoga's national team, and their first captain. He won multiple Banijan Soccer League titles with Herzegovina City, Banija's biggest club. After his playing career, he went into politics. After being Mayor of Busoga's largest city, Dukuma, Senior had run for President and won. Kasekende Sr. had become the President. Not the President of the Busoga Islander Soccer Association. No- the President of the entire damn country.

As people in the room turned to look at him, Kasekende Jr. felt small. But what did he have to do? He picked up. "Hello Dad."

"JUNIOR!" The President bellowed into the phone. "It is three god damn thirty in the morning. I should be asleep. Instead, I got word from the embassy that you got arrested?!?!"

"Yea, Dad, but-" Kasekende Jr. stammered.

"Do NOT but me son." The President said. "You are not 15 on the playground. You are a grown ass man. I should not be getting word from the Embassy in Borograd that one of the players on the national team might need consular assistance for legal issues in Teusland. I should definitely not be getting word that the person who might need my assistance was my own son."

"I know, Dad, but-"

"Let. Me. Finish." The President said, with the authority that comes naturally from a head of state. "What possible excuse did you have to cold punch somebody? I'm told you threw the first punch. Look. You've got all worldly talent. But as a professional athlete, you have to watch yourself. These things, man- these are the type of things that can hurt you. You're an adult son. I can't protect you here. You think I can call Siovanija & Teusland's President and make this go away? You think I can call twii.tur and stop this from trending? No, you will have to learn that your actions have consequences."

"Sorry, Dad". Junior said quietly.

"Don't say sorry to me." Said the President. "You'll learn very quickly. The very least you can do is pay the dude's medical bills. And what will your mother think?" There was silence from Kasekende Jr. "I'm not gonna wake her up for this. She'll find out herself in the morning. Good night." And the President slammed the phone. Kasekende Jr. simply ran his hand through his air, stress levels through the roof. Once the officers said he could leave, he sat silently on the way back to the team hotel. This was going to be a firestorm...

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

Delbin Kasekende Jr. suspended by BISA for the remainder of the AOCAF LXIII Group Stage following arrest in Stelburg

Islander fans wave their flag

STELBURG, TEUSLAND, SIOVANIJA & TEUSLAND- Starting holding midfielder, Delbin Kasekende Jr., the son of President Delbin Kasekende Sr. and a player for 1912 Stelburg, was suspended by BISA following his arrest during the Busoga Islands off day at the AOCAFs. It is a blow to the team's ambitions to make the knockout stages for the tournament, as he is considered one of their key and most important players.

"After seeing the police report, the national team is extremely disappointed in the actions of Delbin Kasekende Jr." BISA said in a statement. "Per the police report, Delbin Kasekende Jr. got into an argument after going to a night club with a few of his teammates on Busoga's off day at this tournament. Kasekende Jr. got into an argument with the man, and the said man escalated when he pushed Kasekende Jr. Junior then violently escalated the fight himself by throwing two punches at the man. The man suffered some injuries, which we are not permiitted to disclose, but nothing permanent."

And as one would expect, this has caused a media firestorm among fans back at home. Busoga's games are all in the city where he plays club football, right here for 1912 Stelburg, so he was trending heavily here. Numerous people released statements about it. Junior's father, the President of the Islamic Republic, said that he was 'extremely disappointed' in his son's actions, but that Kasekende Jr. would take this as a learning experience and continue to grow.

Alexander Bumba, the manager, announced that Kasekende Jr. would be suspended for two games for this. "I have no choice but to suspend him for his actions last night." Bumba told the media before a team training session. "It is an appropriate punishment- he will miss two games that he would have started in, including a chance to play against some of his club teammates on Matchday 5, against the hosts. He will, of course, maintain his other responsibilities during training in that time. He will use this opportunity to learn to handle those situations better that time. And as for the squad- next man up. We've got plenty of work to do if we want to punch our ticket to the knockout stages, and that is the bare minimum expectation for this team."

Kasekende Jr., for his part, issued an apology during media day. It was, of course, a high pressure moment for him. He did not take any questions about the incident, but he apologized specifically to the man that he punched, and to fans of both the Busoga Islands and 1912 Stelburg. He said that those actions 'do not represent who I am', and that he would work to provide restitution to the man whom he hit.

Alexander Bumba announced that Ilke Akgun would start in Junior's place on Matchday 4 against Oontaz, and then Jay Khano would start in his place on Matchday 5 against Siovanija & Teusland.

by **Flavovespia** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:20 pm

Can Flavovespia make the knockout stages?

Flavovespia come out of their bye Matchday with the picture of qualification no clearer in Group H, one of the more confusing groups in AOCAF Cup 63, for the neutrals and those involved. Quebec lost the chance to make a real statement with their loss to Delaclava, the latter now playing themselves back into contention for now. Dogsmouth haven’t built on their win over Flavovespia. Valanora look the most likely to qualify, but can’t expect Delaclava and Flavovespia to be pushovers.

With Flavovespia’s final Matchday against Valanora, the next match against Quebec will be a crucial one. Both these sides have knocked each other out of contention before, both in the AOCAF Cup and World Cup Qualifiers. There’s added motive for Quebec, with Flavovespia beating them in injury time in the last AOCAF Cup. Expect a competitive and tough match, with both sides knowing a win could be vital to qualify. Of course, if Valanora do drop points in their final 2 games, that could really shake up who grabs the second knockout stage spot, or even if Valanora gets one of the two.

In terms of Flavovespian performances so far, they’ve been a mixed bag, but no real major standouts at either end of the spectrum. In attack, the trio of Hall, Coleman and Cole were in good shape against Delaclava, but found the defensive nature of Dogsmouth too much to break down. Maybe there’s an argument to have given more time to players on the bench, but it’s hard to argue against the raw talent of the starting attackers. The wing backs David Lyons and David Blythe similarly, weren’t good providers against a defensive minded side, but showed their danger on the counter when up against a side going forward in numbers. This leaves a tactical conundrum in a way for Quebec, do they attack in a game that a win is so much more useful than a draw, but risk playing to what seems like the strengths of Flavovespia?

Midfield does seem to be a questionable area for Flavovespia. Whilst it’s hard to fault Hall for being given an attacking role, it puts a lot of pressure on the central midfielders to control play there. The system still needs tweaking. Kieron Player looks like a natural successor to James King, but the Sleepy Hollow midfielder still needs time to gel. David Clark meanwhile has been a bit of a confusing enigma. Nothing he seems to do is particularly bad, but it’s not seemed like he’s found the right fir or role in the two games so far. It wouldn’t be a surprise to see Alexander Clarkson come in instead, is a more well defined ball winning midfielder, freeing up Kieron Player to focus more on being a ball playing midfielder. Jonathan Feld meanwhile, without a change in formation, will likely struggle to make an impact despite his experience.

A switch to three centre backs, at least from a tactical perspective, hasn’t done Flavovespia too much harm. Of the 3 goals conceded, one was from a corner and one was a free-kick, hard to argue those were due to the formation. Tony Gardner and Alexander May have done enough to sustain starting roles, but could do with kicking it up a gear if they want to make sure Flavovespia can qualify for the Round of 16. Despite being starters, there’s always the risk poor performances see them dropped for future tournaments. Ian Cohen has however been a weak link, and was outmuscled to concede a goal against Delaclava. It’s likely that Daniel Lansdell, who came on in his place in said game, starts instead. The wing backs of Flavovespia, David Lyons and David Blythe, are certainly enjoying the freedom of attacking more, but do need to rememeber to not neglect their defensive duties. Scott Vaughan hasn’t been on much, but against Delaclava did show the experience needed to help grind out a result. As for goalkeeper, whilst Aarif Muhammad hasn’t been perfect, few would call for him being dropped.

All in all, it looks like Flavovespia under Marcus McCormick are meeting expectations, but not yet exceeding expectations. Quebec and Valanora will be the next tests, can Flavovespia shake off recent poor form against similarly ranked sides, and do this Flavovespia side have it in them to cause a potential upset?

by **Banija** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:33 pm

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Banija's 2-0 Matchday 3 win over Netop was Banija's 3rd win in 3 games at this tournament. With that win, we became the first team to book our ticket to the AOCAF LXIII knockout stages. It will be Banija's 9th consecutive appearance in the Round of 16 at the AOCAFs. (1/2)

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Either a win or a draw tonight against Ibixa would ensure that Banija wins Group B. If they can get that point, the Matchday 5 bye, having already won the group, can turn into a scheduling disadvantage, ensuring our players are well-rested before the knockout stages. (2/2)

@KadongoKamu It's Matchday for the national team! A few hours until we take on Ibixa. Reply to us to tell us who's jersey you're wearing for tonight's game! #OnwardsToVictory

@KadongoKamuInsider Imagine your national team midfielder getting arrested while at a major tournament in a city that they already live in. COULDN"T BE US! #KasekendeFightNight

@AllBanijaSportsMagazine Experts say our most likely Round of 16 opponent is Farfadillis, followed by Huayramarca and North Handoria.

by **Demot** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 3:57 pm

Anyone with any knowledge of Demot footballing history knew who David Masteron was, the legendary midfielder who helped lead the Dynamo to the Finals and to establish themselves among the Footballing elite, all those many moons ago. Over a hundred years have passed since the legendary player last donned the Dynamo kit and took the field to represent the nation, leaving behind a legacy of hard work and a jovial attitude. A hundred years on and his great, great grandson, David Masteron the IV, was sat inside a hotel in Siovanija & Teusland along with the head of the Demot Footballing Association and the CEO of the Pride League.

"Listen David and Jonas, I know what you want but the answer is and will continue to be no, there is simply not the interest domestically nor abroad to pursue the course of action that you want me to take." Alexi Garza, a young man from New Mirria who wore a sleek suit while the other pair were in casual clothes said preemptively, trying to get them to back down before even putting the idea on the table.

"How can you not even consider doing it Alexi? If you were so set against the very idea that we were going to suggest, why did you even agree to meet with David and I?" Jonas Timbers, a slightly older man from Skyhaven whose appearance did wonders to hide his age with sleek jet black hair and clear, fair skin that gave him a far more youthful appearance than a man pushing fifty.

"No one outside of the diehard fans care about football in Demot anymore, that is the short of it. We only enter the AOCAF because tradition says that we should and we only enter into the AOCL because Likewell Kirk is still a professional club and usually win the Pride League and can give a good showing of themselves. Football is dead domestically and the audience is not there abroad. Cafundeu is gone, its government and lands collapsing in, as is Timuria that followed in its footsteps. Lamoni just disappeared off the face of the earth, not a single trace of their nation even remains to the west of our borders. And for sure those in Banija, Farfadillis, Equestria, and Valanora all have far more interesting leagues to watch than our bunch of semi-pros. Have I mentioned Cafundeu is gone? The amount of money that they paid alone all those years ago paid for the entire operating cost of the league and then some and no one or group of nations is going to offer the sort of money needed to turn the Pride League back professional. You just need to accept it and be happy with what we have and when the Dynamo occasionally do better than expected."

David stepped forward and put a hand on Alexi's shoulder and turned him towards the television which was showing the highlights of Demot's triumph over Qasden. "Look at them, look at the passion that they have, look at how much they care about playing for the shirt. You really want to tell me that football is dead in Demot when we have players out there pulling off back to back upsets against teams that were supposed to roll them over? The Dynamo are more than likely a win away from their last two games from advancing into the knockouts from a group they were supposed to finish last in. My great, great grandfather did the impossible and took Demot to the World Cup Finals in just their second ever appearance in the World Cup. There was no demand for Demot football then but we proved our worth when we were given a chance. Give these players a chance, they are about to become national heroes if they manage to qualify out of this group. Heroes who have to work second jobs because the clubs they play for can't afford to pay them full time wages. Invest in them and they will pay it back tenfold."

Sighing Alexi knew that the pair were not going to listen to reason, that he was going to have to try and deliver on what he thought was an impossible task. "I would not even know where to begin, where to put the feelers out to anyone who might want the television rights or to offer sponsorship money. The Pride League is on the bottom of the totem pole, you know that right?"

David nodded and smirked a little. "You say that as if we were never there before, that the Dynamo did not work hard to get where they once were in both the regional and world rankings. Our people are hard working and they know how to do great things when given the chance. I am sure you will find someone or some company willing to start the process. I know it will not happy over night and maybe it is only a few clubs a year but it snowballs you see, as more money gets put in and the players are allowed to get better and so more money is attracted. You will find a way, you just have to be as industrious as those you have doubted have been."

AOCAF LXIII - Everything Thread

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