Cavirfi and Crabaiaia News Thread (CLOSED)

[Cavirfi]

This is the official thread for the posting of articles by both the Laker City Sentinel and the Barnumberg Bulletin, no other news stations are allowed to post here, if you want to post here, you can only post IC or OOC reactions to articles. Anyways, hope you have a good day.

(For me only)
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As of August 30, 2022. The Cavirfi and Crabaiaia News Thread is officially closed indefinitely and Cavirfi (the account) will no longer make posts on it

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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NEWS

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Cavirfi finishes paying war reparations to Crabaiaia

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After some economic backs and forths between members of THE Barn Council, Cavirfi has managed to accumulate enough money to repay all their war debt to Crabaiaia, Crabaiaia and Cavirfi had gone to war over "the right to kindness" in the last week. It ended swiftly killing almost 3,000. With Cavirfi suffering the most losses, because of Cavirfi's surrender in the war. Crabaiaia negotiated a war reparations of NS$ 500,000,000,000 to be payed at any time. Today, Cavirfi celebrates the day that they are free from economic debt to Crabaiaia.

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Anonymous, 3/11/21, Cavirfi

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (This article was written ENTIRELY by a ROBOT)

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First batch of niceguy migrants arrive in Cavirfi. LGBTQ+ Nationalists outraged

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After The Barnumberg Accords was signed between Crabaiaia and Cavirfi, 500,000 Nicepeople mostly men were allowed to move in to Cavirfi at a safety-net clause of 250 billion NS Dollars. However until yesterday, no niceguy has made the trip to Cavirfi. Today, 25,000 niceguys took the opportunity and got a "chance visa" to Cavirfi which expires by March 7, 2022. Once the visa expires, they are safe from Crabaiaian deportation. These men are optimistic about their future here. One even said

"Ah, it's refreshing to see a place that hasn't been taken over by the muscly abusive bad boys yet!"

Most of the Cavirfite population has also agreed about an optimistic future for these men and hope that this country will refresh their minds, however a small but growing faction of nationalists who are either allies or members of the LGBTQ+ community aren't celebrating this wave of immigration.

Earlier this day, at 10 am, a group of nationalists called "Queers against NG Migrants" staged a peaceful rally against the migrants holding signs calling the niceguys leeches, [REDACTED], and doormat tourists. This rally didn't exactly go well with the police and the migrants who agreed to protect each other at all costs decided to act. So after 5 hours of protesting, the police requested the protestors to move outside of the area where the migrant dorms were located, the protestors agreed and are now holding their protests by starting a blockade around the metro web-block G, the district of Barnumberg where the migrants are currently stationed. No violence has been reported yet. However, it is expected if the Tortune Government doesn't hold a meeting in time before the protests become mass-scale.

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Random Billy, Democratic Expirement bot for the Cavirfite Government. 3/14/21

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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Discussion

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Cavirfi is planning non-applicant observer status to the European Union, thoughts?

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So as Cavirfi has been ratified as a state and not a micronation, Cavirfi has been already making plans to build their ties with Europe.

The Tortune Government is now making plans to apply for "non-applicant observer status" with the European Union. If you do not know what that means, it basically means that a nation with this status is allowed to send a representative to the EU Parliament but they are not allowed to vote, and they are not allowed to have their positions upgraded to Membership status. This is basically an informal trade alliance with European Union members, currently Israel, Lebanon, Morroco, Estima (Estima is fictional country in my headcannon), and Weissprussine are the only 5 states that have this status with the European Union. The status' counterpart applicant observer status is meant for countries who want a rehearsal for should they join the EU. Albania, Turkey, Georgia, and the Ukraine have this status.

Now, what's the problem? Cavirfi doesn't even want membership so what's the big deal? Estima, Estima has a problem with Cavirfi being in the same boat as them. You see, the conflict that Cavirfites fled: Had Estima involved. Estima feels like Cavirfi is a nation of traitors who chose to stab them in the back to impose an unrealistic image of peace and kindness.

So, should Cavirfi be allowed to join the European Union as a non-member non-applicant observer?

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Random Billy and Anon. 3/15/21

OOC: This is a discussion thread, replies are now allowed.

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (This was written by a robot)

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Controversial ad promoting Cavirfi-Europe ties stokes anger in Crabaiaian Internet

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Yesterday, an ad released by a Crabaiaian couple living in Cavirfi has caused outrage among Crabaiaian Internet users blaming the ad of "promoting misogyny", "condoning sexual harrassment", and "cannonizing stalking".

The ad in question was produced by couple: Elenes Masuskas (Ellen Masker) and Rovlejos Sminsis (Rowley Smithson), Elenes said that she was chasing the "bad boys" for 9 years while Rowley watched her get into trouble and pain over and over and over again. That they had come to terms only after Elenes was willing to give the relationship a shot. Before that, they were friends. Now, they are lovers.

Anyways, onto the ad, the ad in question goes like this

Hi, I'm Ellen
I'm Rowley.

This is why we think Europe is best for Cavirfi.

Ellen: We are not 2 people who can instantly click with each other, years and years of me being harmed by abuse, drugs, and objectification has made me blind to him. He was able to help me overcome the trauma and now we are 2 years together living in Cavirfi. But what does this have to do Europe?

Rowley: Well, we didn't click with each other at the start, look what is happening now with the EU Parliament they are making debates about whether or not Cavirfi deserves this status with the EU. Our relationship in a way, is like Cavirfi's relationship with Europe. There will be bad alliances and unions who will come harm Cavirfi economically and politically. But, if Cavirfi chooses to aim at the right path. One day, Cavirfi will click with Europe. Just how like she clicked with me.

Ellen and Rowley: So, we hope Cavirfi and Europe. Unity and Prosperity, it will take time but it's worth it.

The ad has now caused anger on many of Crabaiaia's most popular sites like SmartWeb and MediBlog triggering the political situation that Crabaiaia had been for the past few months. Some comments saying this.

Ellen, blink twice, if he is secretly abusing you

A nice guy is actually more abusive than the bad boy

Cringe

But this comment in particular stands out

So I got some info on the couple and I actually heard they are from here and moved after the first anniversary. So, I think they are not blind to the politics that is going on in Crabaiaia right now. Look, nice guys are not nice they have been sexually harassing gay men, lesbian women, women in general. Coercing many people to stand by their side, convincing many that this world is run by pumped up abusive bad boys on steroids or bitchy women on implants. Which is certainly not the case, if bad boys and bitches were at the top, why would they be the most incarcerated? The least wealthy? And the most likely to die of overdose, murder, or suicide?

It's a false narrative, stem from one rejection, turned into tens of thousands of deaths. Look around you! I lost my brother to the war in Savia! All because you couldn't pick someone in your league and thought that society is overall is messed up when YOU are at fault. Damn, I hate nice guys.

To the Commission of Europe in Cavirfi, if you are reading this, please send a cease and desist order to the couple who made this falsely narrated advertisement ASAP!

The Commision of Europe in Cavirfi has yet to respond but the Tortune Government has approved the ad for usage on IBTVNC commercial breaks.

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Neutral Bot, non-bias experiment bot for The Laker City Sentinel

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News

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The Cavirfite Constitution has now been ratified, and the 1st TechCo and the 1st GreTri appointments will be made.

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Yesterday, the constitution of Cavirfi was read aloud to the Wolf Pack, the cabinet that ran the government of Cavirfi, signifying the ratification of the country's existence and wishing all countries across the multiverse to recognize and respect such existence. Now, with the constitution clarifying the members of the state, the people, and the military as well as their duties and freedoms. The State shall have all 3 branches of Government, however, the legislature and the judiciary are still empty. So now, Cavirfi will hold it's 1st appointment of legislative and judiciary officers.

As for the appointments themselves, currently there are 200 candidates for the legislature all across Cavirfi, only which 80 will be appointed among them. For the judiciary, 24 candidates shall be chosen, only which 8 will be selected among them to the Great Tribunal (or Supreme Court if you're not from around here).

Once the members are selected, announcements of their positions will be made.

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Random Billy 4/7/21

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (DEVELOPING STORY)

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4 Crabaiaians killed and 2 Cavirfites injured in a military standoff over fleeing refugees

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Today at 6:30 am exact, a Cavirfite Navy Frigate and a Crabaiaian Navy Speedboat fought each other off, over a refugee raft that was intercepted by the former.

The Cavirfite Frigate, the FS Marley (named after Bob Marley), set off from Barnumberg bound for a strip of ocean 10 NM away from Crabaiaia's EEZ to investigate the sudden drop of refugees fleeing for Cavirfi. At the same time, a raft filled with Crabaiaian niceguys fleeing (in which they don't know where they'll end up) Crabaiaia left the shores 20 km west of Laker City.

An hour after both maritime vehicles left their respective location-of-port, the Crabaiaian Navy sensed a signal that a certain ship had entered into International Waters with a heading of 315 degrees (which points towards the Southeast Coast of Crabaiaia). So they decided to hold a Navy speedboat and a Coast Guard frigate on hold until the ship got too close, in which deployment will begin.

At 6:00 am, the ship, only 25 nautical miles away from the Crabaiaian EEZ had come into close contact with the raft and the conversation went like this:

Legend:
Blue = Refugee Raft
Yellowgreen = FS Marley

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"We were trying to get away from Crabaiaia"

"What happened? Why are so little refugees fleeing?"

"The Crabaiaian Government had just issued blockades around major gentlemen cities and they are forcing us into submission through military force"

That is when the FS Marley's crew had finally got their answers to the enigma. The Crabaiaians were INTENTIONALLY violating the Barnumberg Accords, which allowed for at least 500,000 refugees to flee to Cavirfi with special status.

The FS Marley picked up the raft using ropes to pull it up onto the main deck.

However, unbeknownst to the crew of the FS Marley and the refugees, a Crabaiaian speedboat had already been heading their way. As for navy policy, requires an investigation of a ship if it reaches 50 NM away from the EEZ if it doesn't respond to their signals or isn't registered by the Lighthouse Assosciation (the main STC [sea traffic control] of Crabaiaia).

The Speedboat along with FS Marley then came into close contact 15 minutes later, just 35 NM away from the EEZ.

Legend:
Orange = Crabaiaian Speedboat
Yellowgreen = FS Marley

"You there! You have violated Crabaiaian Law by not respecting our water boundaries!"

"How?! We intercepted your refugees 25 NM OUTSIDE your territory. You have lots of questions out here to answer!"

"Like what?"

"Explain everything the refugees said, you intentionally blocked them from exit points out of your nation, what is the problem with you? Don't you know that violates the Barnumberg Accords?"

"They were rioting and they were intentionally taking advantage of trucks sending them food to keep them energized, they are destroying our property to advance their misogynistic cause."

"Violent? Misogynistic? How thwarted are you to think that being a good person is misogynistic and violent."

"Good? How thwarted are you think that being a violent and misogynistic person is good?"

The yelling continued for a few more minutes until both sides decided to draw out their guns and (although no one knows who shot first) began firing. The frigate (which was more well equipped) to fire a cannon into the speedboat making a hole on it's hull thus sinking it. The 3 crew and the 1 officer on board jumped to the sea before the boat fully sank however the Cavirfites shot them all, killing them before they could even swim for help. During the standoff, 2 Cavirfites were also shot by the crew of the Crabaiaian Speedboat however they were quickly sent down to the medical deck and were saved before anything bad could happen.

"OH MY GOD! WE JUST KILLED EVERYONE ON BOARD THE SPEEDBOAT!" One Cavirfite seaman said in a panic.

4/4 of the Crabaiaians on board their speedboat were killed, while 2/25 of the Cavirfite crew were injured, 0/25 were killed. No refugees were harmed in the standoff.

The FS Marley safely arrived at Barnumberg without further events at 10:00 am Cavirfi Time. While the 4 Crabaiaians were sent to the nearest morgue by the Coast Guard of Crabaiaia, and their deaths announced to their families.

"WHY?!!!! WHY DID YOU KILL MY HUSBAND?! WHY?!!!" A woman, allegedly being the wife of one of the killed was caught crying over the pronouncement of her husband's death.

The Commander-In-Chief of both countries' militaries have yet to react to the situation

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Random Billy 4/10/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY)

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Crabaiaian Central Bank reports 2nd major loss of 2021 after military standoffs

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In the wake of the recent navy standoff between Cavirfi and Crabaiaia, the central bank of Crabaiaia, Goldossavas della Subus (or Bank of the Land in English), reported a NS$ 5 MILLION loss after investors rushed to pull out money, and several people who owed debt to the bank, failed to pay their dues. The main cause of the sudden rush-and-fail recession that the bank faced, was the heightened fears of financial security, as the citizens of Crabaiaia's fear came true; Cavirfi could penetrate the country's territorial defenses, leading to the 2nd fear; that Cavirfi could rob the country if they wanted to.

The Interim Commander of Crabaiaia, Fritz Milk, the Commander of Diplomacy, Tai'ibah Cummings, and the Commander of Finance, Robert Stilles, decided to hold a parliamentary meeting tomorrow, regarding about the loss of the bank's assets, and what to do about it.

More news regarding the Crabaiaian Economy will be issued after events unfold.

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Neutral Bot 4/11/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (DEVELOPING STORY)

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The Cavirfite Minister of Defense reaction on the standoff: "We are sorry that we killed 4 of your citizens, but please follow the agreements."

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Earlier today, the Cavirfite Minister of Defense, Suzanne Mackenzie, issued a statement regretting causing the deaths of 3 Crabaiaian Navy Enlistees and 1 Crabaiaian Navy Officer, but that Crabaiaia should follow the conditions of The Barnumberg Accords; which allow for the entry of 500,000 refugees from Crabaiaia to Cavirfi under special status, without any further red tape. Currently 50,000 Crabaiaian Citizens have filled the accords' slots, therefore 450,000 Crabaiaian Citizens are still allowed to migrate to Cavirfi openly and without delay, if Crabaiaia wishes no further incident to occur

The post was issued in light of the recent standoff between Crabaiaia and Cavirfi over fleeing refugees, which killed 4 Crabaiaians and injured 2 Cavirfites. The refugees in concern arrived in Cavirfi safely without further event.

More updates will be made as we get deeper into the story.

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Random Billy 4/11/2021

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY)

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Interim Commander Fritz Milk: "We will prepare for war if we have to..."

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After the standoff yesterday that killed 4 in our navy, the Interim Commander made a statement in Parliament, that in the case that any further incidents involving Crabaiaia and Cavirfi's Navy, are to result in total war with Cavirfi.

We will prepare for war if we have to,
It is clear that Cavirfi isn't willing to respect our sovereignty, we have warned them multiple times in the past, during THE Barn Conference. That kindness doesn't owe you anything, and it shouldn't have been a political issue. Yet orders like the White Knights, and the fallen Gentlemen. Haven't listened to us; and I can't believe that Cavirfi would utterly support them, just to what? Advance some "righteous" cause? No, they want to destroy our sovereignty and use the banner of "righteousness" and "morality" as an excuse.

They may have the courage, the skill, and the dignity to invade us. But we have the manpower and the technology to even this out, so fellow citizens, if Cavirfi doesn't respect our sovereignty. We won't respect theirs.

This statement was made to bring a feeling of vengeance to the families of those killed, to seek out justice, against Cavirf. However, will these statements be taken seriously?

More will be updated soon.

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Neutral Billy 4/11/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY)

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Crabaiaian MP demands Government to "respect the privacy of the families of those afflicted".

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Yesterday, at 5:00 pm, during a parliamentary session regarding the recent standoffs between Crabaiaia and Cavirfi, that killed 4 Crabaiaian Navy personnel, as well as the sudden liquidation of funds from Goldossavas della Subus, which led to a NS$ 5,000,000 loss. An MP, presumably from the General Conservative Party made a statement during the section of the debate regarding the funerals of those killed.

I would like to request the Federal Government of Crabaiaia to respect the privacy of the families of those afflicted.

He said, that the Government shall "respect the privacy of the families of those afflicted." meaning that he wishes that the Government would allow the families of those killed to hold a private funeral for them to allow a proper period of mourning without government interference.

I am deeply saddened by the recent killings of 4 in our Navy by the FS Marley's crew, however I wish that the government won't hold a public broadcasted funeral for those fallen, instead, I wish that the families of those afflicted would be allowed to hold funerals for the fallen loved ones and as well as an uninterrupted mourning period.

I just fear that the we, the government, will use a broadcasted public funeral to further justify tensions against Cavirfi, when really all Cavirfi has done is try to do their job, which is to make sure we follow the agreements we made with them, and they did it, through military investigations. We provoked them to kill us, it's our fault; that our navymen died at their hands, we should have followed the rules, but instead we continued to abuse the gentlemen of this nation, and prevent them from fleeing for what they believe to be a better life.

I thought we are a Democracy; shouldn't democracies allow the people to leave when they don't like the situation and feel like it will never improve? Don't democracies allow people to speak out rather than blockade them? I thought Democracies, should follow the agreements made with other people of other nations, rather than violate them. If we can't do all 3, why call ourselves free?

So, Crabaiaia, dear Crabaiaia, apologize to Cavirfi for violating the agreements, forgive them for killing our soldiers, and lastly apologize to and forgive our gentlemen for both blockading and rioting them. Do it now, while we still have time.

The Parliament then kicked him out of the chamber for the rest of the session, today, we got to speak with him.

Honestly, I am not surprised anymore. I have already sensed the downfall of Crabaiaian Democracy, since I began being an MP back in {20}'14. The lack of willingness for the government to listen to the people has shown you that, I just got kicked out of Parliament for stating the obvious. Now, do I plan to quit being an MP? No, I will continue to be an MP until changes are made, or until I die and those changes never come.

I'd rather die standing than live kneeling.

More will be updated of this ongoing conflict.

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Albi Branch 4/13/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (TERRORISM)

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204 killed, 612 injured in Chatia Terrorist Attack.

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Earlier this morning, 204 people including 51 schoolchildren were killed, in the worst and deadliest terrorist attack in Crabaiaian History since the Confederal Wars. 2 terrorists from the Stigmatised Heroes of Crabaiaia, a Manosphere-oriented terrorist group. Drove an IED-filled van into a crowded mall in Chatia, the capital city of Amino, an Autonomous territory in Crabaiaia, they then blew it up through a remote hacking detonation scheme, which uses several lines of code to tell the bomb to detonate. 1 of the bombers died when they got stuck in their van while the hacker in charge of detonating was programming the detonation scheme, several in the mall were killed instantly while most were killed in the structural collapse of the mall, this is what led to most of the injuries.

In the following minutes a van of a similar model, also filled with IEDs drove to a public school just a few hours away. Through the same remote hacking mechanism, the van blew up giving leeway for the terrorists to enter to the school, undetected (many of the surveillance cameras were destroyed in the explosion, 1 security guard was killed). They then opened the doors of several classrooms and began firing indiscriminately, killing 51 schoolchildren and injuring many more.

Emergency services immediately came to treat the wounded in the mall and police arrested the shooters, but not without a gun fight that would then kill 15 officers. The surviving bomber back in the mall bombing was not found.

In total, 204 were killed (220 if you count the officers and guards killed trying to stop the attacks from continuing) and 612 were injured. Making it the deadliest terrorist attack in all of CONSTITUTIONAL Crabaiaian History (A much deadlier attack before the Constitution was amended happened in 1968 killing 500). This is also the worst peacetime attack during the 2nd Beta Uprising, the ongoing revolt going on in Crabaiaia.

More will be updated of the story

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Neutral Bot 4/15/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (TERRORISM)

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Fritz Milk: "Keep children out of this"

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In the recent light of the terrorist attacks in Chatia, Amino. That killed 204 including 51 students. Interim Commander Fritz Milk made a speech about how believers of manosphere ideology in Crabaiaia, should stop indoctrinating or even killing children in the name of "preserving moral values."

I understand, you are in a "struggle", because of us. I undestand, that you have difficulty living life because of this "bad boy" society. But please, please, do not include children in this.

Children just want to live life, they only have one goal, and that is to be happy, now you may say, adults want to be happy too. Yes, you are right, but the methodology is different. Children just want to have a max-enjoyment lifestyle where they get to fulfill their hobbies as they wish, they don't care about money or politics or whatever, and this is where I have a problem; You cannot stop involving children, the future of this nation, you keep telling them; we are in a fucked up world ruled by crappy elite.

*sounds of Parliament booing in the background*

And that, if they want to live a happy life, that they need to join your movement. I think that is wrong. Do you wanna know why? None of the parties in this parliament, except your favourite, BOOKERS OVER THERE. Don't have a children's wing? Because we understand that having children being indoctrinated by politics; isn't healthy for our society in the long run.

Milk commented on how child involvement in politics should be highly minimized and even made comments on the 'Children of Hope', a Booker Party-funded group designated for children who want to understand more of Booker politics.

More will be updated regarding the story

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Neutral Bot 4/18/21

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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First round of protests erupt in Chatia.

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Yesterday, a first round of protests had occured outside of the Aminoan Governor's office in Chatia, calling for the increasing of autonomy for the territory of Amino in Crabaiaia.

The protests were made in the light of the recent terrorist attacks, and the 2nd Beta Uprising altogether. The protests calls for the introduction of an Independent Economic Board, that will monitor economic and civic regulations in the territory. As well as the introduction of the proposed "Aminoan Qrykder", a new currency that will be allowed to be used in Amino, and will be the EXCLUSIVE currency of the territory.

Politicians are confused as to how a separate Aminoan Qrykder, that is independent from the nationally used Crabaiaian Qrykder, will allow for a better autonomy. However one Booker Party member who is not a MP in any state said this:

Amino as a territory is tired of the current economic strain and tensions with other territories and governorates within the Crabaiaian nation, we are the poorest territory in all the land, it is better if people negotiate in exchanging powers they are comfortable with. An Aminoan Qrykder independent from the Crabaiaian Qrykder, will allow for regulation BY the Aminoan people, and will allow for regulation against the TYRANNICAL domestic trade laws of Crabaiaia.

We will not spend our money on an economy on a state that hates us just for being poor, and a state that endorses domestic violence and manipulation of women and men alike.

So Crabaiaia, GIVE US MORE AUTONOMY.

The protests ended peacefully after the protestors lost energy, however more rounds are expected and Crabaiaia is requesting the Civil Guard, a branch of the army. To be prepared for insurgency in the region should it further destabilize.

More will be updated of this story.

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Elouise Wooley 4/18/21

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (European Union)

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It's official, Cavirfi will apply for EU observership

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Last Friday, the Wolf Pack has approved Chancellery Resolution #1: Cavirfi with Europe (Also known as, CR#1), after confirmation by the Great Tribunal, and secondary approval by the Technocratic Council, in a tense debate.

CR#1 will allow for Cavirfi to apply for "Non-Member Non-Applicant Observer Status" in the European Union, which allows for trade ties economically with the EU and will allow for the EU to monitor economic regulations in nations holding this status.

The European Union Parliament in Strassbourg will yet to approve Cavirfi to enter this position, however due to the non-member nature of such status, chances are the EU will accept Cavirfi regardless of their economic or political situation.

You can read the full resolution, by clicking here.

More will be updated soon.

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Neil Gardner 4/18/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (TERRORISM)

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Trial for captured terrorists that killed 204 in Chatia begins tomorrow.

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After several back and forth Parliamentary inquiries, the Territorial Court of Amino is finally allowed to hold the trial for the terrorists that committed an attack in Chatia last Thursday.

The attack in question involved the bombing of a mall and school, and the shooting of the latter, the attack occured last Thursday morning and was motivated by recent lack of progress by the Crabaiaian Government to listen to the recent revolters of the 2nd Beta Uprising. The attack killed 204 people, including 51 students at the school mentioned earlier, families are still mourning the deaths of their loved ones.

The trial will be held tomorrow and is expected to span the course of 3 days.

More will be updated of this story

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Kavan Vu, 4/23/21

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (DEVELOPING STORY) (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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2nd round of protests leads to 6 arrests, 4 injuries.

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Yesterday, a protest took place in a farming village 500 km Southwest of the capital of the Crabaiaian territory of Amino, Chatia. The protestors were demanding that Samuel Bate, the leader of the Booker Party and one of the 3 MPs representing the territory, to propose a law that will allow for Amino's ultra-autonomy. The protests were met with riot police who threw tear gas and even shot live bullets to scare the protestors into submission, 4 were injured as a result of the shooting, and 6 surrendered themselves to the police and were eventually arrested and fined Q25 each for "disturbing the peace".

Critics of the police's actions claim that the police are once again trying to silence the people on behalf of the Crabaiaian Government. However, the Crabaiaian Government they are just trying to keep the situation under control so that the legislative process won't be disturbed and progress will actually go underway.

More will be updated of this story.

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Daniel Silva, 4/23/21

The Barnumberg Journal

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News (European Union)

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EU declares Cavirfi eligible for NMNAOS

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In a Parliamentary session in Strassbourg last Wednesday, the EU finally declares Cavirfi eligible for NMNAOS, a status that would allow Cavirfi to propose legislation in the EU but also allow the political process to be free of EU interference.

The vote came unanimously and Cavirfi will now join the NMNAOS group tomorrow.

We thank the EU for accepting Cavirfi

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Arslan Montes, 4/23/21

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (European Union)

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Cavirfi celebrates EU observership entry.

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Yesterday, Cavirfi became the 6th member of the NMNAOS group, a group with ties with the European Union (and technically, a puppet organization of the EU). The Cavirfite Government celebrates by enforcing a temporary mandate to replace all Cavirfite flags with EU flags from today, Sunday, April 25th. Until Saturday, May 1st.

The Cavirfite Government also made their 1st speech to the EU Parliament via online conference, the speech calls for bigger ties between member states and assistance with the UK to adapt to a post-Brexit society.

We once again thank the EU for accepting Cavirfi's entry into the NMNAOS group

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Random Billy. 4/25/21.

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (TERRORISM)

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Terrorists involved in Chatia attack sentenced to death

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After a 6-1 decision by the Federal Tribunal of Crabaiaia, the people involved in the Chatia attack that killed 204 will now be sentenced to death, the attack in question took place on April 15th and involved a school shooting and a mall bombing

The verdict came after 3 days of back and fourth debate between the attackers and their local prosecutors, initially they were only susceptible to 100 torture sessions however due to the grave situation of the number of deaths (no pun intended), the Federal Tribunal, the highest court of Crabaiaia requested that the attackers had their trial with them instead. The Federal Tribunal then decided death was the fairest punishment for the mass harm caused to the public. At a 6:45 AM court session almost all juries (except for the only jury who was a member of the Booker Party), voted to sentence the attackers to death, because of the supermajority, the verdict was official and could not be reversed.

The attackers are now on death row at a high security prison near Laker City, the capital of Crabaiaia, they will wait for their execution along with 200 other prisoners.

The public has rejoiced the decision however some niceguys who believed they could fuel a bigger revolution, were dissatisfied.

---

Neutral Bot, 4/27/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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3rd round of protests leads to 3 arrests, 22 injured

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In a recent round of protests in Chatia, Amino, Crabaiaia. 25 protestors marched to the territory's Parliament last morning. They were then met with 2 police office who formed an insufficient barricade in an attempt to keep the protestors from storming the building. Protestors then shouted "Free Amino, Amino shall be free" over and over again. Their demands? For the Crabaiaian Federal Government to give extra autonomy to Amino, an already autonomous territory similar to Yukon in Canada, or Gibraltar in the UK.

This extra autonomy would have granted Amino the right to control their own currency independent from the Central Currency of Crabaiaia, the Crabaiaian Qrykder. The protestors claim that the lack of currency control has led Amino to contribute to the Crabaiaian economy, who they believe; is run by "crooks and gangsters" and have "stabbed the founding fathers in the back".

The protest was peaceful until one man amongst the demonstrators decided to run towards the Parliament building in which police stopped him but then a stamped continued which led to 22 injuries including the 2 cops and 3 arrests, 2 were left unharmed.

The Federal Government of Crabaiaia has condemned the stampede and has called an Parliamentary forum to discuss the morale of the protestors.

More will be updated of this story

---

Kavan Vu. 5/1/21

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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4th wave of protests erupt in fishing town, 15 injured. Peaceful protests in Laker City ends in tourists confused.

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After a week of peaceful strikes, another violent protest has erupted in Amino this time in the fishing town of Finafi, which has a population of 10,000. 50 demonstrators held a convoy that would block access to the city of Chatia, where anti-autonomy demonstrators planned to meet the Chief Commander of Amino (who is the head of state of the territory) to discuss the creation of an anti-autonomy referrendum.

At 7:30 am (Crabaiaian Time), the convoy began blocking most, if not all of the major roads. The anti-autonomy demonstrators were unhappy. At 8:00 am, someone shot a hunting rifle at one of the convoy's vehicles, injuring the driver. Then, the pro-autonomy demonstrators fought back and shot gunpowder projectiles (which if set on fire, can explode smaller projectiles on targets upon contact) at the anti-autonomy protestors, the onslaught of violence lead to 15 injuries, 2 near-fatal (all on the anti-autonomy side), the Crabaiaian Civil Guard then drove tanks and the soldiers arrested 26 of the 50 pro-autonomy demonstrators.

The riots were condemned by State-Owned Media branch, Krabjas 24/7, calling it "a reason to further persecute "good men"". However, independent journalists, believe that these protests were staged by the Crabaiaian Military to justify further persecution.

In Laker City, The Good Ones, a semi-Ghandist religious order held a peaceful demonstration in Laker City by vandalising local restaurants whose owners have been accused of "spreading misinformation about the movement", as well as dumping dog and cat feces on government vehicles, 12 were arrested, 8 of which were given fines for public indecency. However, no violence was reported.

In the Laker City Marina, cruisers were met by TGO members waving Crabaiaian and TGO flags, sort of as a silent call for help. The tourists didn't know what the move was supposed to mean, but they were welcomed by it anyways.

"I honestly don't know what's going on in this country, I am just here for an Arctic summer getaway.", one tourist said.

More will be updated of this story.

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Kavan Vu. 5/7/21

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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New protest song becomes popular in Amino

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Christian demonstrators in Amino made a demonstrative version of "O Tannenbaum" and sang it in a protest in a park in Chatia. The song had themes of Amino being "under a red dark winter sky" and wishing for the territory to be under a "bright vivid light".

This song was made in a recent light of the protests in Amino, a special autonomous territory in Crabaiaia, who has certain rights like independent education and agriculture, but doesn't have the right to have an independent trade or criminal policy. Which has upset several of its citizens, who they believe; their values don't exactly align with the less autonomous governorates. This has lead to protests which has caused the arrests and injuries of many. Including a high school student who was just trying to drive home with his mom's groceries.

The leader of the Church of Amino says he no longer wants a fight and just wants to "go down with the Alpha Government", when he made the song.

I honestly don't care about whether or not we will get what we want, we have been constantly defeated by the Alpha Government for 29 years, not a single victory for us, it was defeat after defeat after defeat, I have no hope anymore, not even the powers of God can save us now. I just want to know that we will not be defeated alone, we will be defeated by the Muslims' side, we will be defeated by the Hellenists' side, we will be defeated by the Jews' side, we will defeated by everyone else's side. If we will go down, everyone will go down, because that is fair.

More will be updated of this story.

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[iKavan Vu. 5/13/21[/i]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (AMINO ULTRA-AUTONOMY MOVEMENT: A TLCS SPECIAL)

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Federal Parliament denies Amino, a referendum

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In a recent Parliamentary forum, a vote of 25-75 has denied the Autonomous Territory of Amino, a referendum for more autonomy; in fear this will cause a Domino Effect that will lead to the breakup of Crabaiaia as a whole. This has lead to anger in the Aminoan populace and protests intensified.

More will be updated of this story.

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Kavan Vu. 5/13/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (CRABAIAIAN ELECTIONS)

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Aminoans and Imgurians celebrates as Booker Party wins all 10 seats delegated to their territories

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After a concise battle between the Crabaiaian Civil Guard and the people of the Crabaiaian Autonomous Territories of Imgur and Amino have decided to push back and last Friday, elections in their lands were held and the results were staggering

The Booker Party who used to only win 6-14% of the vote in the territories won an incredible 98% of the vote that is an increase of popularity 7-fold.

The Booker Party is a political party in Crabaiaia who has been very controversial in the southern liberal governorates for being supportive of the manosphere and their ideas, but has become massively popular in the territories after they condemned the crackdown by the Milk administration against Incel rebels in the territories, who citizens say, is actually cracking down on them more than the rebels. The Booker Party has also offered a '1 country, 2 systems' like solution to the Beta Uprising, which was to allow Amino and Imgur greater autonomy which allows them to have moderate border control and an independent currency.

When the results came out, a massive protest dance party was held celebrating it as some sort of "victory to the nice", one person put it.

10 seats may not seem alot considering our Federal Parliament has 100, but damn, this party for years was consistently defeated by a discriminatory system and to see the people rise up and give the party 10 times the power over the government compared to what they had last year, it's amazing.

I am no incel living in my mom's basement, as some may think, I have a wife, children, and a stable home. The only similarity is that I, like them, are tired of how we are forced to live for 29 years; in a constantly shitty and troublesome situation. We rise up, don't be surprised, you pushed us to our limits, expect a violent reaction, and this victory is our reaction.

I am just happy now that my 3 daughters of 8, 9, and 12 years of age respectively will have to worry less about how the future will work for them should this victory continue

Thank you, Gods of Olympia. Thank you, Coeus, for giving us the mercy to live a better life.

The protest was met with some backlash by the citizens of the liberal parts of Crabaiaia like Civetia and Capital Council. A citizen of Laker City said to us,

Welp, seems like some slackers will celebrate that a party that allows them to slack has won 10 times what they used to win.

As a result of the Booker Victory in the territories, the Party of Almond Milk and the Party of his wife, Fritz (who is the Commander of Crabaiaia), have decided to merge leaving the latter out of the election race, and the former's compatriot, Nathan Overton to be the only hope for nationalists liberals and nationalist conservatives in Crabaiaia alike, at keeping the status quo.

More will be updated of this story.

---

Kavan Vu. 5/23/21

[New Swaraelia]

How have (some of) these articles been written by a bot?

[Cavirfi]

How have (some of) these articles been written by a bot?

It's an IC bot, a human writes every articles OOCly, that human is me.

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News (PRIDE MONTH)

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Crabaiaian LGBTQ+ Community celebrates 51st Pride Month as a group and 1st Pride Month after legalization of gay marriage.

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Today is the first day of the 41st Pride Month in Crabaiaia and the Crabaiaian LGBTQ+ Community has began their celebrations. Pride Month is a month celebrating the rights of gay people all across the world it is held every June and was originally meant to commemorate the anniversary of the Stonewall riots, the riots that led to the modern LGBTQ+ Rights movement.

The Crabaiaian Gay Community has been celebrating Pride Month since 1970, not only to celebrate gay pride but also to celebrate the toppling of the 8-man dictatorship that ran the 1st Crabaiaian Federal Republic (though the uprising happened in March).

Celebrations begin as Pride Flags are flown across the streets in various cities across the country and companies express support for the community, some are skeptical of this "company Pride" thing considering that this country has always been supporting the community even in the "traditionalist" 50's and 60's one man says:

Our society has always either been apathic or supportive of this community so why are companies showing their support just because it's a specific month of the year? Just either support it all around, be apathetic, or even oppose it. It doesn't matter; just don't let your opinions of the community be seasonal, that's just disrespectful. Even an anti gay marriage company like Chick Fil A is respectful of the community than some major fashion store who said "we love you with our utmost support just for this month because we know you will give us money"

Regardless of such skepticism, everyone seems to be happy and the first day went without any major violence (though there was a police clash between Beta Uprisers and Police in Amino, though that is for another time).

We wish everyone, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, straight ally, or even opponents of the community; a happy Pride Month.

---

Kavan Vu; 6/1/21

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News (PRIDE MONTH)

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Cavirfi celebrates 1st Pride Month in the history of the nation

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Cavirfi has always been described as a borderline "ultra-conservative" society by American, Crabaiaian, Estiman, and even French and British media, so it may come to a surprise that the government of Cavirfi and some of the state-owned and privately-owned corporations and small businesses gave support to the Gay Community not just this month but ever since the country was created it is even written in the Constitution that discrimination against anyone on the basis of their sexual orientation is wrong. Specifically in Articles 1 and 13:

Article 1:
...Everyone shall see each other indifferently on the basis of the color of their skin, the gender they prefer most romantically, the language they speak, and lastly the gender they identify with. Everyone must see each other differently on the basis of the content of their character and must act accordingly so.

Article 13:
The people have the right to identify with any ethnic group, political ideology, religion, sexual orientation, or gender. Without discrimination from the state in terms of benefits, punishments for crimes, or taxation rates.

So as you can tell by now, it would be no surprise that Cavirfi (which is not even a year old) has allowed the celebration of the first Pride Month in the country; however as of now, there are no Pride Parades or "Community Endorsements" by corporations or whatnot, but regardless of this, we wish everyone a happy Pride Month

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Fretz Mallsky; 6/1/21

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News

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Nathan Overton wins bid for General Commandership of Crabaiaian Government and State, to be inaugurated tomorrow

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On June 2, electoral institutions across Crabaiaia announced the victory of Nathan Overton's Preservationist Union after they won 66 of the 100 seats in Crabaiaia's Federal Government, Overton's union currently consists of Fritz Milk's Chanist Liberal Party and her husband Almond's Chanist Conservative Party, have merged after a crisis within the former coalition that caused the 2 parties to merge until Samuel Bate's Booker Party either dissolves within the new political season or lose their 23 newly gained seats in the next election.

Overton has been a controversial candidate, having been accused of calling for more police brutality against ethnic minorities like the Aminese Natives or the Amish Imgurians. He has run on promises of a Conservative but Socially Democratic Crabaiaia, promising to keep the liberal policies of the former General Commander Fritz Milk like the highly competitive universal healthcare system (Please Note: Crabaiaia adopted Universal Healthcare since 1970, way before Milk, Milk just improved it's relation with the private sector) and marriage equality. While also enforcing what some may consider more conservative policies like the maintenance of gun rights and increase spending to the police department. Promising that this will "ensure Crabaiaia's political stability and democracy".

Overton will be inaugurated tomorrow, June 18 and as per Crabaiaian Custom, the outgoing Commander, Fritz Milk shall hand him over her Parliamentary seat (known as the "Supreme Seat", where all Crabaiaian Leaders are required by custom to sit during debate) in a ceremony, while Overton makes a speech and answers questions by both fellow Parliamentarians and Journalists.

This is Kavan Vu for the Laker City Sentinel, signing out.

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Kavan Vu, 6/17/2021

[Cavirfi]

The Laker City Sentinel

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News

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Nathan Overton inaugurated as new General Commander of Crabaiaia

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After preparations were held for the day, Nathan Overton has been inaugurated the new General Commander of Crabaiaia.

The ceremony took place earlier today and was attended by all members of the newly elected 52nd Federal Parliament of the Chanic Councils of Crabaiaia (52st Karmassubus Chatas Modos della Subus Chanikus della Krabjas), the speaker of said Parliament, Nathan Overton (the incoming General Commander), Fritz Milk (the outgoing General Commander), and the Crabaiaia media which consisted of journalists from Crabaiaian state-owned Krabas 24/7, privately owned The Laker City Sentinel (hey, that's us!), and privately owned charity The Valued Times. The ceremony was modest, instead of taken in front of a crowd of Crabaiaian citizens, the ceremony took place inside the chamber of Crabaiaian Parliament televised for all Crabaiaians to watch either on television or online. It involves the outgoing General Commander giving the incoming General Commander a rite of pledge, and the newly inaugurated General Commander giving a speech.

The rite of pledge went as followed:

Blue = Outgoing General Commander (Fritz Milk)
Red = Incoming General Commander (Nathan Overton)

*both persons raise their right hand in a salutory manner*

"Mister Nathan Overton, as the newly elected General Commander of Crabaiaia, do you promise and understand that you have a duty to serve the Crabaiaian people primarily and the state secondarily?"

"I do."

"Do you understand that it is duty as the General Commander to act as the President and Prime Minister of civilian Crabaiaia?"

"I do."

"Do you understand also that it is your duty as the General Commander to act as the Commander-In-Chief of militant Crabaiaia?"

"I do.

"Then, Mister Nathan Overton, as the General Commander of Crabaiaia, I, Fritz Milk, surrender my position and hand it over to you. I pronounce you as the new General Commander of Crabaiaia.

"Thank you, Madam."

Overton then continues

"Missus Fritz Milk, do you promise to continue serving Crabaiaia in spite of lacking provision to do?"

"I do."

"Do you understand that by surrendering your position as General Commander of Crabaiaia, you also surrender the powers of said position to I, the new chairman?"

"I do."

"Do you understand that even if you are no longer in a position to rule Crabaiaia on a national level that you can rerun for this position, as well as the subnational units, but you are in no obligation to do so?"

"I do."

"Then, Missus Fritz Milk. I, Nathan Overton, hereby rightfully respect your surrendering of the General Commander position to me, and I understand the rights and duties that come with it."

*End of Rite*

After the rite of pledge, Overton makes a short speech


"Citizens and Residents of Crabaiaia as well as people all around the world,

We are in a major threat, a wave of hate has spewed over our skies; Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, all that bigotry has come upon us and in droves, even with movements that bring awareness both from the left and the right about this depravity that rules rebellions all across the world, it is not enough, that even the people who hold such disgusting views begin to mock us for us failures.

We must arm together against these groups, we must ensure that no more suffering comes upon minorities or even the majority alike, that we are all equal under one sun, and one void. That these groups be destroyed by peace or by force, I won't mention the names of these groups, but you know who you are; you who threatens the Crabaiaian nation for "persecution against the good" when there is no proof of such, you who seek to cause instability all because your entitled minds can't handle N.O. which because of such a word you have killed tens of thousands of civilians, military officers, and children, especially children; how disgusting must you be to bring children into your destructive pyromaniacal ideologies?! If you want change so bad, don't harm children they know nothing of what you want, and even if they do, they are not in a position to give it you, if you want what you want you have to fight us grown ups like a real adult. Believing in what's right is NEVER an excuse to manipulate people to your cause, not only is that wrong morally, but contradicts the very doctrines of your ideologies.

So, Crabaiaia and the world, we will destroy these groups, we will teach these groups that entitlement isn't the way of life, that getting everything you want shouldn't be the goal, especially if what you want is as a privilege as wealth or sociability or happiness. Yes, happiness is NOT a right but a privilege and the fact that you see it as the former is the reason why you're not having it.

So learn to accept rejection either in a relationship or non-relationship context, learn to accept that you are not good but neutral, that you have flaws and that you are no knight in shining armour, but that you are human beings like us. As a wise man once said: "When you are in a state of privilege, equality can feel like oppression." We are presenting to you all, TRUE equality, true equality that doesn't PRIORITISE YOUR wellbeing but EVERYONE'S even those you don't like and even those who have practiced their right to free will and who you hate simply because they won't be on your side.

So, bow down and accept your mistakes or face the wrath of our coalition.

Thank you."


The speech has gained criticism from native groups like the Aminese people who claim that the speech isn't just direct towards Crabaiaia's sanctioned groups like Cavirfi or the White Knight Order, but to them as well. As an anonymous member of the Imguria people once said:

If you say the quote "If you are in a state of privilege, equality can feel like oppression", you are most likely the one in privilege, the fact that you continue to persecute us by forcing our children into boarding schools like Canada back in the pre-1990s era, and no I don't mean boarding schools as in a regular school that offers shelter and food to students, I mean in a boarding schools where children are forced to pray to Gods that they don't believe in, to speak English against their own free will and are starved for not obeying orders by their "superiors" (I feel uncomfortable saying the word), I learned English and converted to Hellenism the majority religion in Crabaiaia voluntarily, but I have many friends who had to do it by force yet when I present to court the evidence they say "They'll look into it" then do nothing for 1, 3, 5, 10 years is absurd. Never use that quote in my face or in my friends' face when they cry for facing your unwarranted angry racist bigotry. Overton, we understand why you used the quote, and we know that we are not the primary target of said quote, but WE ARE STILL TARGETS, which makes me mad, and makes me want to vote for your enemy Bate even more.

Cavirfi and the militias she support has yet to comment on Overton's inaugural speech.

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Kavan Vu. 6/18/21

[Cavirfi]

The Barnumberg Bulletin

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News

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Cavirfi legalizes same sex marriage and polygamy after decree by the Great Farmer

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Yesterday, the Great Farmer gathered tens of attendees to a pre-recorded announcement in which she says:

"Today, I bring to this country a new announcement;

I believe in the importance of the traditional family as a social unit, however I do not believe that the right to develop such a unit should be excluded to heterosexual monogamous couples. I believe in gay rights and I will not sacrifice the rights of the LGBTQ+ community to achieve my main goal (which is the former belief), and if anything today I will make a change that will balance the situation needed to achieve what is envisioned for Cavirfi.

After 4 months of bureaucratic juggle with Constitutional formalities, Government establishing, and diplomatic embarking. I have now decided that for as long as one does not commit adultery against their spouse, will take the action required to legally qualify for parenthood, and accept that the goal of this country to revert some of the damages of many reforms across the worlds. I, Margeaux Tortune, as Great Farmer of Cavirfi. Will legalize same sex marriage and polygamy. Effective immediately.

You may now marry whomever you love, for love knows no gender, and no quantity, for as long as you promise to accept some form of traditional value in your marriage.

So now, marriage equality is now guaranteed in Cavirfi."

Followed by a short cheer and clapping, and the declaration was over. Effectively meaning, that gay as well as polyamorous couples can now marry each other should they wish it.

The declaration has gained support through most of Cavirfi, with 54% of the population supporting it. Saying that LGBT Rights should be a task for the state to respect, to achieve the objective of a revisionist version of the traditional nuclear family.

34% support the declaration but want some limits regarding how the marriage contract of a couple can be formalized, saying that they wish that people in and out of divorces or civil union dissolutions should have a window period before they are allowed to remarry as to prevent Cavirfi from going down the same outcome as Crabaiaia when it came to marriage rights.

4% are against the declaration claiming that marriage should only be between one man and one woman because that is how the nuclear family (the objective of Cavirfi) was structured with one father and one mother.

The other 8% are currently either thinking their stance or choosing to abstain from either supporting or opposing the decree.

Whatever the result of this declaration does to the future of Cavirfite society will be a question of time and commitment.

This is Fretz Mallsky, for the Barnumberg Bulletin, signing out.

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Fretz Mallsky. 7/10/21