THE Barn Conference (IC/CLOSED)

[Cavirfi]

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Context:
Crabaiaia and Cavirfi went to war over the rights of Niceguys and Nicegirls in Crabaiaia, and it ended in a quick draw, with Cavirfi surrendering but Crabaiaia accepting some form of losses as well.

Crabaiaia:
Interim Commander Fritz Milk arrives by an Air Chania 20-class Amphibious Plane at Barnumberg's Airport. She takes a motorcade to THE Barn, a small simple but also highly practical palace made of red oak wood meant to house the Technocratic Committee of Cavirfi.

Cavirfi:
Margeaux Tortune waits for Fritz Milk at THE Barn. As time ticks she decides her arguments, if Mrs. Milk gives any.

[Cavirfi]

Crabaiaia:
As Interim Commander Fritz Milk arrives at THE Barn, she shakes hands with Margeaux Tortune

Cavirfi:
"Hello Mrs. Milk, it's an honor to discuss the terms of this peace with you, here I'll show you the way to the Cabinet Room." Margeaux says enthusiastically to Milk

Crabaiaia:
"Hello Ms. Tortune, it's also an honor meeting you here." Milk replies

Crabaiaia and Cavirfi:
Tortune and Milk slowly head to the Cabinet Room to begin the meeting

[Cavirfi]

As Margeaux and Fritz head inside the cabinet room, Margeaux says to Fritz.

Color code:
Green = Cavirfi
Red= Crabaiaia

"Okay, grab any seat from our group of rolling chairs over there." she points to a bunch of roller chairs "Set your chair by the desk, but please do not cross this red line." She points again at red line, telling Milk specifically not to cross it as it is only for THE Barn personnel only. "Do you have any assosciates with you tonight?"

"No, just some bodyguards who will arrive here but nope, no assosciates."

"Is this being broadcasted back in your country?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, then, we'll call in some reporters here as well. Hey, uhm, isn't this kinda odd. That your nation was literally created as a safe haven for the persecuted heroes, but you end up persecuting your most innocent and most wholesome citizens anyway."

"That's a question for when the Conference actually starts, don't ask me this now."

"My apologies."

A few hours pass by and reporters from both Krabjas 24/7 and Cavërfæ Archivæn arrive.

Both leaders make their open remarks

"Hello citizens of Crabaiaia, it is an honor meeting with your leader today, as we discuss a quick feud, that lead to the deaths of so many, and caused damages on both nation's militaries. I hope for peace between us and you, we don't want to be your enemy, but you forced our hand to make you abide by your own constitution AND International Law, to protect the sanctity of Human Rights and to ensure the persistance of a virtuous world."

"Good evening, citizens of Cavirfi, it is also an honor meeting with YOUR leader today, we understand the violation of human rights that we caused against the virtuous few of our land, I pray to the gods for peace and prosperity, between the 2 nations"

THE Barn Conference begins.

[Cavirfi]

Margeaux let's out a huge sigh and starts speaking

"Okay, so to start this conference off, we would like to explain why we invaded your nation, we invaded your nation because of how you treat the niceguys and the nicegirls of your nation, sure they are committing continuous, aggravated sexual assault and harassment, but you have to bear in mind: Why are they doing this? They are doing this because of the structure of your nation's social hierarchy: Your nation's social hierachy... is well to put it simply, flawed, Mrs. Milk. Your nation's social hierarchy puts anyone with the best looks, the best money, but the worst attitudes high in the spectrum. While putting the ugliest, most impoverished, but most kind hearted citizens down at the bottom. This flaw is nothing new in liberal and democratic countries, Mrs. Milk, but you see, your ancestors created your nation, the nation in which you are ruling right now, to fix this flaw. To actually put the kind hearted, the most caring and least arrogant, the most humble and society-loving citizens at the top. At least, that was the case until some greedy aristocrats decided to write a constitution that restructures the hierarchy to devalue morality and value consumerism, puppet capitalism, and other economic systems that enslave your citizens. Your "beta" citizens caused political crises and uprisings to bring back balance to your nation's definition of morality, okay Mrs. Milk. They are not doing this because they're selfish, they are doing this because they want your nation to revalue what is ACTUALLY right."

Fritz Milk had heard this rhetoric time and time again in Parliamentary sessions defaming her, but she insists to continue the conference, she sighs

"Damn, she has a point, but..." she thinks to herself and starts speaking

"You have a point there, Ms. Tortune. However, just because these citizens are nice or kind, doesn't mean they are entitled to anything. Doing nice is the bare minimum, if you don't have it, you are not a bare minimum of a person, you are nothing. These kind citizens lack any charisma, they lack any self-awareness, they lack confidence, they lack hygiene, they lack financial stability, they lack any defining traits other than being kind-hearted. Being kind-hearted is like having the soil, no plants will magically grow in them, you have to have seeds (defining traits) or the water (physical assets), you may be disappointed, but removing this soil, it will only make the problem worse, because guess what. The plants (defining traits) will have nowhere to develop from (kind-heartedness). This is why we don't grant immediate priveleges to our kind-hearted citizens, because without kindness, they are nothing."

"That's not the point, Mrs. Milk, of course doing the bare minimum doesn't grant you rewards, but what you are doing to them is unacceptable, you are silencing them with anti-niceguy propoganda (Krabjas 24/7), internet bans ("Privacy Protection" Laws), and you are even using physical manpower. I just don't understand, give them a voice please, Mrs. Milk. That's all the Cavirfite government and the international good guy-good girl community demands, a voice, a voice that creates opportunities for change for them, for a better future for the virtuous few."

"Virtuous few? Virtuous few?! Are you saying that anyone who isn't a good guy or girl is automatically a bad boy or bitch?!"

"Unfortunately, I will have to say yes, you created this problem, Mrs. Milk, only you can fix it. Repeal the laws that block any opportunities for niceguys or girls to recieve a chance, and restructure your gay marriage law to prevent any future cases of anti-chivalry marriage frauds, please Milk, that's all we ask."

She sighs "Fine! Let's get to the negotiations now shall we?"

[Cavirfi]

Death Reparations
Margeaux then adjusts her mic, takes a deep breath and says

"Okay, let's go to the negotiations concerning lost souls."

"We are willing to provide NS$ 100,000 EACH to every family all 2,000 of your soldiers killed on your side. Under the condition, that you write this down as a tax deductible donation rather than a tax accountable reparation."

"Understood, we would also like to give that same amount each, to every family of the 537 killed on your side. We are willing to accept a 5% reparation tax."

"Okay, it seems like we have a deal here."

Fritz Milk comes to reach Margeaux's hand, in which Margeaux sees as an offer to handshake, she accepts.

Overall War Deals

"So uhm regarding the war overall, the structural damages, the political anomalies, I am requesting something, a 500 billion dollar reperation."

"Well, actually, we don't have that much money."

"Oh, I see, how much money do you have in the treasury right now?"

"About almost NS$200,000,000,000, we put NS$70,000,000,000 in the treasury everyday."

"Okay, how about this. You can pay the reperations slowly, about NS$5,000,000,000 every day, then once you get to having enough money, you can pay us the reperations in full then."

"Okay then, deal! What are we getting out of paying these reperations?

"Hmmm...well...up to you, I guess"

"We want at least 500,000 nicepeople, 250,000 min. each to come to Cavirfi under amnesty by the Crabaiaian Government."

"Oh no" Fritz Milk says in her mind.

"Okay, we are willing to give these people amnesty, a warranted residency status that expires on March 7, 2022. Once this warranted status expires, they are safe from deportation, during the warranty, we want the rights to extradite them back to our country, they are still citizens of Crabaiaia during this time, again, once the warranty expires, they are eligible for Cavirfite citizenship once the warranty expires, do we have a deal here?"

"Hmmm...I feel like you are trying to stop our progress short if you lose the elections this May, Mrs. Milk. Your suggestions seems very suspicious. So I would like to add a safety net clause of NS$ 250,000,000,000 for them to be safe from deportation in the likely event, that say your rival, Nathan Overton wins the election and calls for these people's deportation back to Crabaiaia. Note here, we will be paying the clause should this event happen, do we have a deal here now?"

"Yes, we do"

Fritz Milk and Margeaux Tortune stand up from their chairs and give each other a long handshake

"May peace between our nations persists!"

"I say the same!"

Questions may now be asked by journalists

[Cavirfi]

SIC:

"I would like to setup an embassy in Crabaiaia to monitor your kindness rights record"

"Understood, we will also set up an embassy in Cavirfi, for these people that we gave amnesty, to have a say in these agreements