Researcher: Falling sperm counts threaten human survival

[Postauthoritarian America]

According to a researcher with the Icahn School of Medicine at New York's Mt. Sinai Hospital, median human sperm counts are projected to fall to zero -- zip -- nada -- by 2045. She points the finger at pthalates and poor health caused by obesity, inter alia.

Personally, this is the best news I've heard since the lockdown. imo the destruction of the human race would finish the farce and make room for a superior form of life on this, the only planet known to be able to support it. Intelligent canines would be my first choice, but I'd settle for cockroaches.

That being said, other options for whipping this sticky situation exist, from intense scientific research to banning plastics and shaming fat people to cloning. Surely we on NSG, uniquely placed as we are to discuss and arrive at solutions to all the world's ills, could come up with the best answer.

Go for it.

[Rusozak]

Maybe it's a good thing? We have, what, a couple decades before we have to start manually lowering the global population to survive? The current rate of population growth is unsustainable, and fewer births is a lot better than having to start playing the population lottery.

[Ethel mermania]

Clearly David Hasselhoff is needed to help increase the virility of all males

Bring back baywatch!

And K.I.T.T

[B o r o v a n]

So much for capitalism. Is it even possible to make products without phthalates?

Either way humans can still procreate, sperm count will not go to zero, the system always generates some sperm for reproduction it's just that it'll be less. So it'll be less effective and difficult to procreate.

[Borderlands of Rojava]

Tfw "Children of Men" is actually gonna happen.

So this is how this species goes extinct? Unless some isolated tribes somewhere like the Andaman islands avoided this dark fate.

[Saiwania]

Certain medical clinics are able to artificially create sperm from male DNA from what I've heard. If not, it can be collected ahead of time. Pregnancies can still happen, its just that perhaps it'll require the artificial method in a lab, rather than the natural methods which will be unreliable.

[Neanderthaland]

This stork is really delicious guys.

[Kowani]

Seize the means of reproduction!

[Neanderthaland]

Seize the means of reproduction!

Don't have to ask me twice.

[Monsone]

I don't think humanity will go extinct because of lower sperm counts. People will simply resort to medical aid in improving their sperm counts, this is something already being done for people who struggle with infertility, and is likely only to get more widespread. And worst comes to worst, assisted reproduction is going to become way, way more common.

All this means that having children is going to be way more expensive.

[Borderlands of Rojava]

This makes me feel so sick. What the actual hell is happening to the world?

[Kiu Ghesik]

[The Marlborough]

1) This applies to the median Western man. Not globally and certainly doesn't mean there wont be men with healthy sperm counts or even have polyzoospermia within the Western world.
2) It's extrapolating from a previous analysis from nearly a decade ago which the author herself noted is always risky.

[ImperialRussia]

Natural sex is the only solution most of these ways to reproduce. These ways to reproduce genetic Mutations that people don’t wish to on their children when they want sperm to inject them selves with.

[Picairn]

Tfw you are extrapolating.

[Ethel mermania]

Seize the means of reproduction!

Owies

[Atheris]

Seize the means of repro- FUCK, KOWANI MADE THAT JOKE! *kicks trash can*

[The Marlborough]

This makes me feel so sick. What the actual hell is happening to the world?

Nothing, it's probably not even the first time we've seen fallen sperm counts within societies. In ancient Rome fertility issues were something that plagued the empire for a long time and some of it was probably related to sperm counts I'd reckon.

Not to mention a lot of this can be alleviated to some extent through increasing exercise rates and improved diets.

[ImperialRussia]

Stop smoking and drugs that harm your sperm counts

[Atheris]

Stop smoking and drugs that harm your sperm counts

The Misfits: "No. No, I don't think I will."

[Reploid Productions]

Seize the means of reproduction!

Just wash up when you're done.

[Kowani]

Seize the means of reproduction!

Don't have to ask me twice.

I think your people not doing that may have been a problem

Seize the means of repro- FUCK, KOWANI MADE THAT JOKE! *kicks trash can*

I’m always 3 steps ahead

Seize the means of reproduction!

Just wash up when you're done.

Of course
It’s a pandemic
Do I look like a barbarian?

[ImperialRussia]

Abolish the orgasm to benefit humanity in a humane matter

[Atheris]

Do I look like a barbarian?

That rhetorical?

[Kowani]

Do I look like a barbarian?

That rhetorical?

Yes