And, exhale.
Zwangzug finished second in their World Cup 87 qualifying group, behind Savojarna but ahead of contenders Netop and Saint-Domingue. All told, this along with other groups was a perfectly respectable showing, displaying both the consistency and endurance of the seasoned Zwangzug side and the drama and excitement that makes international football so intense. Zwangzug will face Terre Septentrionale, who finished second to a dominant Brenecia side in Group 2, during the two-legged playoffs. The first game is set to be played in Wayr Stadium.
Fans have the tiebreakers to thank that Kate DiMarini will not be facing her old friends and rivals in Baker Park, who were the fourth-best of the runners-up. DiMarini has returned the virtual greetings to the Commonwealth players who wished her well prior to the matchday eighteen encounter. An unofficial straw poll of my friends suggests most fans here will be supporting Baker Park in their playoff out of solidarity for DiMarini and perhaps a desire for moderate stability worldwide after the tumult that was qualifying; a dissenting opinion was provided by my buddy Steve who said that San Ortelio have a goalkeeper with a harrowing backstory and he feels kinda sorry for the guy.
In other news:
-Temporal paradoxes have been averted as random federation bureaucrat Ashley Spencer pronounced the multiplicity of Juan Tzimisces-es "none of our business." "We recognize it can be unsettling to have one's national history altered or future predetermined by the retroactive or premature appearance of a temporally unbound footballing genius," she said, "and we intend to avoid this dilemma by cunningly avoiding any such inconsistencies. In fact, we could go one better and not bother with much of a unified national history at all, thus avoiding both timeline shenanigans and the oppressive sense of collective shame. You know, just to be on the safe side."
-Three Qusma student-athletes in Zwangzug colleges have opened a business to showcase their wares, thus displaying more respect for free enterprise and graphic design than the rest of the country combined.
-Shoutouts to the Sporting News Kalactin regional simulation that featured such "implausible" results as...Geektopia topping a group where Zwangzug struggled to pick up points against Saint-Domingue and Hafamarimet. Okay then.
-My editors asked me to give a hot take on the FFI and their use of diacritics. To which I say, I personally am not a fan of them, but I guess I'll put up with them because I'm not the one in charge. (The diacritics. Not my editors. Probably.)
(Idmar 46, Cherenkov-Nguyen 50)