Partisan Politics
Validity: Banned guns, and large Black Market.
Description
Earlier today, a group of violent political extremists armed themselves with illicit firearms and tactical armor smuggled in from Dàguó and began marching on the Capitol. Local law enforcement and a SWAT team were unable to stop the perpetrators- that is, until they raided a nearby police precinct for seized military-grade automatics, culminating in a full-on battle right outside your office window.
Option 1
"How are we supposed to protect people from criminals with guns unless we have bigger guns? Or guns at all?" squeals what's got to be the scrawniest sheriff you've ever seen. "I'm talking way bigger. You can't discount the possibility that a perp might someday waltz into your fancy office with a fully automatic organ grinder. It could happen! We need a blank check and access to the best guns money can buy. It's the only way to keep people- and your office- safe."
Effect: the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a badly-trained cop with a ridiculously large gun
Option 2
"Had there been just one good patriot with his own concealed meat-grinding bone-breaking high-capacity peacemaker, he'd have fired up his laser sight and put down them goshdarned animals right dang there!" rants local redneck @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, who's taken to hunting deer by screaming wild conspiracies at them. "If yer givin' them dirty cops big guns, we need even bigger guns to protect ourselves from them cops who want to take our guns! Oh, and to stop them gun crazies."
Effect: citizens are protected by a nationwide system of mutually assured destruction
Option 3
"How do you think stuff like this gets into @@NAME@@ in the first place?" asks your Director of Customs, Border, and Trade Enforcement, slamming an enormous grenade launcher that he somehow managed to sneak past security down on your desk. "And no- it's not because I'm incompetent! If you'd just direct more funding to my department, we could stop incidents like these before they ever happen. That's live ammo, by the way."
Effect: men in dark suits confiscate toy slingshots at ports of entry
Option 4
"I've made millions, perhaps billions dealing against Dàguó," boasts coffee boy Edward Rump, who's either delusional or needs to be arrested for violating his security clearance. "Dàguó's clearly sponsoring this, believe me. This is perhaps the biggest operation in the history of shooting. They're sending people- not their best, believe me- they're sending people to destabilize governments, strong, powerful governments, and it's all a false flag. So many flags. Dàguó needs to be sanctioned, you don't mess with us, you don't, believe me. You just don't."
Effect: the nation employs a "shoot first" approach to foreign affairs
