[description]According to the statistics, the average @@DEMONYM@@ citizen ingests @@NUMBER OF BANANAS@@ bananas every day. The health benefits of the revered yellow fruit notwithstanding, some people are questioning whether eating so many bananas is a bad idea, after all.
[validity]nations where a person eats over 20 bananas per day on average
1.[option]"Well, we are truly becoming a banana republic, aren't we?" quips @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Health Minister, and chuckles at @@HIS@@ own joke. "Anyways, as much as I applaud our nation's dedication to eating fresh fruit, consuming @@NUMBER OF BANANAS@@ bananas every day can cause a host of health problems; like a dangerously elevated blood sugar level, or in some rare cases, even a potentially lethal potassium overdose. I suggest we subsidize the cultivation of other fruits with lower sugar content like berries or grapefruits so people can diversify their diet."
[effect]oranges and lemons sing all the @@DEMONYM@@ educators
2. [option]"This thing is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" exclaims Gwyneth Stefanos, the ambassador from Ausblic, which incidentally also happens to be a country that exports bananas to @@NAME@@. "Bananas are great! They are sweet, nutritious, and even neatly packaged by Mother Nature herself! You should distribute free bananas to all citizens for a healthy diet!" She goes on to peel a banana and lick it like a popsicle for an uncomfortably long time.
[effect]@@NAME@@ is literally going bananas
3. [option]"Bananas are dangerous!" yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, your perpetually anxiety-ridden secretary, hyperventilating into a brown bag. "Have you never watched cartoons? Whenever someone eats a banana, they drop the peel on the floor; and someone inevitably slips on it, falls on their bum and breaks their hip! Not to mention the glaring fact that bananas are radioactive! And ask any doctor, some people stick this fruit in certain orifices where it doesn't belong and then end up in the ER. We need to ban this fruit for our people's safety!"
[effect]@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ gleefully sing 'Yes, we have no bananas'
4. [option]"Indeed, bananas are dangerous!" enthuses General Belafonte, taking a banana out of his pocket and aiming it at you like a gun. "Which makes me realize, they can also be used as effective weapons against our enemies. Take a 6-foot, 7-foot, 8-foot bunch and drop it on enemy targets, squish them in fruit pulp. Expose them to banana radioactivity. At the end they will regret not having learned self-defense against fresh fruit!"
[effect]enemies hit with banana bombs are called 'banana split' in @@DEMONYM@@ army slang