Hypothetical: Kid makes inappropriate joke

[The Untied State]

"Gordon, there are 328 million people in the US. 4 people were shot and died. Quickly now, what are the chances I was one of the people shot?"

*makes gordon learn how to calculate probability in 5-10 seconds*

[The Blaatschapen]

"Gordon, there are 328 million people in the US. 4 people were shot and died. Quickly now, what are the chances I was one of the people shot?"

*makes gordon learn how to calculate probability in 5-10 seconds*

If Gordon is so fast, they will call him flash Gordon.

[Thermodolia]

"Gordon, there are 328 million people in the US. 4 people were shot and died. Quickly now, what are the chances I was one of the people shot?"

“Should I account for the people who are already dying and being born or no?”

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

"Gordon, there are 328 million people in the US. 4 people were shot and died. Quickly now, what are the chances I was one of the people shot?"

“Should I account for the people who are already dying and being born or no?”

That is not the correct answer. Given that there are 328 million people in the US ...

You can give your answer as a fraction, since the significance of those decimal places seems to bother you. One last hint: there were 9 people shot.

[Nuroblav]

A firm 1 here. Obviously made in light-heartedness.

Alternatively, respond with 'yes. I'm not even here - merely a hallucination' - and sneak out when they're not looking.

[Foundhome Republic]

"I see that your grasp of humor and geography is as bad as your grasp of English, decorum, and hygiene."

[Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes]

I wouldn't have shot myself, would've I?"

[Ethel mermania]

Go for a snappy comeback, something like "sorry, who did i miss? and then move on.

[Fenwick Foundation]

Reintroduce corporal punishment

[Ethel mermania]

*makes gordon learn how to calculate probability in 5-10 seconds*

If Gordon is so fast, they will call him flash Gordon.

Strip his clothes off, make him stand in the corner and face the wall and call him flesh gordon.

[An Alan Smithee Nation]

I don't think an impromptu lesson on why it's inappropriate will change the jokes kids tell - it was dead baby jokes in my day. So ding them for disrupting the lesson then carry on would be my approach.

[The Blaatschapen]

If Gordon is so fast, they will call him flash Gordon.

Strip his clothes off, make him stand in the corner and face the wall and call him flesh gordon.

Force him through the toilet. Flush gordon.

[Infected Mushroom]

“Hey didn’t you just come back from America? He didn’t get you while you were there? DAMNNNNN...”

I'm surprised there's ambiguity as to what the joke is.

Doesn't that clearly mean, "How come he didn't shoot you?"

Who would "he" in the joke be if not the sniper?

He = The police officer who made the arrest????? It would still be weird because the shooter got arrested in the news (and the news would say he's the shooter). How would the student expect the class to immediately hear this particular phrasing of the joke and immediately get the assumption/suggestiong behind the joke that the arrested shooter was a fake and the teacher was the real shooter and that the "he" is the police officer when the previous focus of the talk would probably be on the killer? If he wanted to tell THAT joke wouldn't he instead have said:

"The shooter they arrested wasn't the real one. (Pause). You went to America right? How come they didn't catch you? You got away? DAMMMMMMMM..."

Jokes are usually phrased so you can immediately get it right?

[The Blaatschapen]

“Hey didn’t you just come back from America? He didn’t get you while you were there? DAMNNNNN...”

I'm surprised there's ambiguity as to what the joke is.

Doesn't that clearly mean, "How come he didn't shoot you?"

Who would "he" in the joke be if not the sniper?

He = The police officer who made the arrest????? It would still be weird because the shooter got arrested in the news (and the news would say he's the shooter). How would the student expect the class to immediately hear this particular phrasing of the joke and immediately get the assumption that the arrested shooter was a fake and the teacher was the real shooter? If he wanted to tell THAT joke wouldn't he instead have said:

"The shooter they arrested wasn't the real one. You went to America right? How come they didn't catch you? You got away? DAMMMMMMMM..."

Jokes are usually phrased so you can immediately get it right?

Why is the kid gendering the murderer? Your post never says that the sniper is a man.

Women can be anything! Including criminals! Send the kid out of the class for their sexism

[Super Cool Florida]

I'd do 5. Snicker and laugh and probably joke along with the kid like "I didn't know where to hide the bodies!" And then go along with the lesson. Just to seem like the cool teacher. Hehe....heh...

[Infected Mushroom]

I'm surprised there's ambiguity as to what the joke is.

Doesn't that clearly mean, "How come he didn't shoot you?"

Who would "he" in the joke be if not the sniper?

He = The police officer who made the arrest????? It would still be weird because the shooter got arrested in the news (and the news would say he's the shooter). How would the student expect the class to immediately hear this particular phrasing of the joke and immediately get the assumption that the arrested shooter was a fake and the teacher was the real shooter? If he wanted to tell THAT joke wouldn't he instead have said:

"The shooter they arrested wasn't the real one. You went to America right? How come they didn't catch you? You got away? DAMMMMMMMM..."

Jokes are usually phrased so you can immediately get it right?

Why is the kid gendering the murderer? Your post never says that the sniper is a man.

Women can be anything! Including criminals! Send the kid out of the class for their sexism

This is true. I was imagining a parallel to the DC sniper attacks (although I included a different victim count).

[Adamede]

Kids like that are better ignored than anything else.

[Cetacea]

“Should I account for the people who are already dying and being born or no?”

That is not the correct answer. Given that there are 328 million people in the US ...

You can give your answer as a fraction, since the significance of those decimal places seems to bother you. One last hint: there were 9 people shot.

Given that the Teacher is now back in Canada the correct answer is 0%

[Esternial]

Strip his clothes off, make him stand in the corner and face the wall and call him flesh gordon.

Force him through the toilet. Flush gordon.

Dressed as a witch. Flush cauldron.

[Salandriagado]

Yes. What the teacher is doing is irrelevant: if they're in the classroom, they should behave appropriately for being in a classroom.

What the teacher is doing absolutely IS relevant. Take that part of the scenario away, and make it that the kid interrupts a lesson to make an insulting joke at the teacher's expense, and the behavior is much worse.

Your bias in apprehension of the scenario, simply leaving out the part which makes "you" (the teacher) partly responsible, makes any response you have meaningless. If you can't accept the scenario, maybe you could make your own?

No. Inappropriate actions do not suddenly become appropriate because someone else is doing something slightly inappropriate.

[The Blaatschapen]

Force him through the toilet. Flush gordon.

Dressed as a witch. Flush cauldron.

Or dressed as a nazi.

Fash Gordon.

[Intaglio]

Probably 2; stupid kids usually just to need a slap of reality.

[Housewifeistan]

if you really think that joking about that shit in classrooms is okay then you're crazy. option two is the best option

[Intaglio]

Probably 2; stupid kids usually just to need a slap of reality.

[Parxland]

Fart and make the kid giggle, so they forget about everything that just happened.