The Issue
You have a tough decision to make. The inaugural Great @@DEMONYM@@ Egg Hunt is upon us, and you need to decide what type of chocolate will be used for the eggs. Overwhelmed by the weight of this decision, you have put out a public call for suggestions.
1- "Umm, obviously milk chocolate!" squeals Milkayla Udderidge with a mouth full of the sugary stuff. "Everyone loves milk chocolate, it's neutral and it'll please the most people. Surely that’ll mean less wastage, right?"
Effect: @@LEADER@@’s milking inoffensive populism for all it’s worth
2- "Everyone knows dark chocolate is the superior variety," dryly interjects Dr. Glen Cocoa while swirling around a glass of red wine. "It’s sophisticated and elegant, and will surely add an air of class to your monotonous and juvenile festival. You’re welcome in advance."
Effect: only the opinions of pompous intellectuals matter
3- Your pet monkey, donned in full tuxedo and monocle, has hatched his own plan. "Why my dear leader, have you not considered hazelnut? Not only is it the most flavoursome, the health benefits of nuts will mean your subjects, er… I mean citizens will be as smart as me: Bubbles, your genius pet monkey!"
Effect: @@LEADER@@ consults their talking pet monkey before making any major decisions
4- "But what about people with a nut allergy?" pleads local green grocer Nutalie Butternut. "In fact, it's not just nuts I can't eat - you need to cater for me and other vegans! It's not that complicated, it just needs to be allergen-free, dairy-free and vegan-friendly, duh!" @@HE@@ enters anaphylactic shock following exposure to Bubbles' hazelnuts.
Effect: health nuts are going nuts that there’s nut a nut in sight
5- A small bunny wearing a blue jacket hops into your office, who announces himself as Peter R. "The true spirit of this day is all about me, and what I want. I am the star attraction, and I say we make the switch to white chocolate. Never mind it’s not the real thing, people will eat what I tell them to eat."
Effect: a grumpy bunny has established egg inspection checkpoints throughout @@CAPITAL@@
6- Big game hunter Butch Eryerleg charges into your office on the back of a lion. "Egg hunts? That's small game, you know what really gets the blood flowing? Hunting Brasilistanis. There's too many of them here illegally anyway. We should have a day where we hunt them for sport and sell their organs on the black market."
Effect: “Sunday Bloody Sunday” is ringing through the streets of Brasilistan