Context
Last Friday, Crabaiaia legalised same-sex marriage, by the popular vote of 67% of the population, of course, some religious zealots were upset but respected the decision of the populace and therefore they didn't start riots, but rather peaceful protests.
THE PEOPLE WHO DID ESCALATE THE SITUATION INTO A BLOWN OUT NATIONWIDE SERIES OF RIOTS THOUGH, ARE NARCISISTIC r/niceguys AND r/nicegirls WITH NO POLITICAL OPINIONS OR NON-POLITICAL INTERESTS OTHER THAN SEX.
Now, if you've been socially withdrawn since 2007 and don't know what an r/niceguy or an r/nicegirl is, here is El Me to explain:
You know those people who... go to Africa, start a charity, then flex their kindness on social media, all the while the charity is spending less and less on helping the children that they were supposed to help, and more and more money is going to the pockets of the flexer.
Now imagine that but you don't move to Africa, you're being nice to a random person you find attractive, you flex your niceness to them on Snapchat or TikTok, but as he/she rejects your sexual advances you become less nice, and you want your niceness to be returned to you through sex.
END OF EXPLANATION
Anyways, why are these non-opinionated people who obviously don't have any clear political stances oppose same-sex marriage and starting a nationwide series of riots, it's simple: Their "debt" won't be paid back.
Let's say you're Mr. Nice Guy or Ms. Nice Girl, you insert your little nice coins into your vending lady/man but she/he gives you nothing or a thank you or the "friendzone" treatment, do you:
A. Move on and improve yourself
B. Move on to another lady/man
C. Default her/him debt until she/he "learns to not abuse your kindness" or have sex with you.
Your Mr. Nice Guy or Ms. Nice Girl, you pick letter C
The problem is, your government has made it easier for your target to completely block you from his/her life through same-sex marriage (which there is no evidence that "Nice Guy Gay Fraud" actually happens but rather it's a scare created a few decades ago to encourage nice people to be homophobes, which failed)
So the first riots took place after the announcements of legalisation were delivered, in an intersection near Edena Drive that injured 8 civilians. The Nice Guys and Nice Girls claims this is a "legal apprehension", the Civilians claims this was an "assault", and the Government recognised it as a "riot"
The day after the riots, 12 women and 6 men were injured (2 on both genders were severely injured) in an incident in Laker City's Saturday Market (because of how many tourists visit on Saturday, which turns out the Incident was also on a Saturday).
Riots continue to this day, and this is the best transition for, what I need
Crabaiaia needs your help
Though we have a strong police force of 50,000,000 servicemen and 25,000,000 non-police volunteers, we still feel like that we are OBVIOUSLY outnumbered and that most conventional psychological riot control tricks aren't helping as 25,000 r/nicegirls have already created the satirically named "Fabulous Mafia" which has been attacking villagers in the Autonomous Chonkic Councils of Imgur and Amino (yup, I named my states after websites, why'd you ask) and some r/niceguys have already ceased small banks to buy illegal cluster projectiles that could be deadly if it catches on fire, so here is what we are planning...
We are recruiting civilians from SETA and non-SETA countries alike to assist in riot control (obvious), first-aid (say, civilians or cops get injured), and fire fighting (say, riots get deadly and fiery), but before we recruit your civilian/s they need to fill out a form, and we will be required to wear a shirt or jacket based on their experience and field of volunteer work.
[b]Riot Control, Inexperienced = White Shirt or Jacket and a shield that provides minimal protection for firecrackers and projectiles and a baton.(Hehe I am using light mode, and I don't care what you think) And you will be given an armband with a text (DV-Modos Joinos, Non Police Volunteer in Crabaiaian) that you are required to wear, so that we can distinguish between you and civilians. You'll also be given 7 cans of pepper spray, You'll be briefed for 2 weeks on how riot control works
Riot Control, Experienced = Black Shirt or Jacket, Shield that gives some to good protection, and a Baton you will be required to wear an armband same to the whiteshirts and be given 7 pepper spray cans.
First Aid, Inexperienced = Green Shirt or Jacket you'll be given an armband (DV-Avardas Joinos, Non-EMT Volunteer), a 2 week training on Level F (basic) First Aid and a First Aid Kit with the following tools: Rope, Bandaid, Cotton Bud, Tape, 7 packs of saline solution, and a breathing bag.
First Aid, Experienced = Blue Shirt or Jacket you'll be given the same shit as the greenshirts but you won't be required to undergo the Level F Training.
Fire Control, Inexperienced = Red Shirt or Jacket you'll be given an armband (DV-Ovrenoes Joinos, Non-Firefighting Volunteer), a 2 week training on Fire Control.
Fire Control, Experienced = Orange Shirt or Jacket given same shit as Redshirts yada yada, you get the point.
All volunteers must be able-bodied, mentally healthy, and not younger than 18 years old but not older than 62 years old, and must agree to not harass or intimidate innocent civilians and only the r/niceguys or r/nicegirls.
(Although this isn't Global Economics and Trade) You can expect a pay of NS$162 A DAY
Here is the application form for civilians who want to volunteer in aiding the aversion of the current crisis
- Code: Select all
Name of Volunteer:
Nation of Origin:
Age:
History of Crime? (Yes or No):
Field of Aid (Riot Control, First Aid, Fire Control):
Do you have experience in the field you are about to partake in? (Yes or No):
Do you promise to not harass or intimidate innocent civilians (Yes or No)?:
Do you understand the risks of participation (Yes or No)?:
Any special requests upon arrival in Crabaiaia (Yes or No)?:
If Yes, what requests do you have?:
Do you want to be taken to Crabaiaia directly and be trained there? or do you want a layover in Aragon, Langenia (I chose you because you are the founder of SETA, Langenia) where you'll take the training?:
Signature here (Optional):
The Crabaiaian Federal Police Force will decide which city needs your help.
See you, in Crabaiaia.
