Piggy Party (issue proposal)

by **Sorianora** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 7:59 pm

Hey so this is probably covered in other issues. But I want to try and see if it’s any good by posting it here to get advice.

My issue proposal:

Piggy Party

[desc]Last night at a party with many world leaders, @@NAME@@ was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world, all because of your newly appointed Secretary’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. After spilling a glass of wine, chewing with @@HIS@@ mouth open, and even attempting to woo the princess of Maxtopia, @@HE@@ was asked to leave the party! You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

[option] “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners. “Recent studies show that, in @@NAME@@, citizens who are more polite and well mannered are more productive to society. In fact, even you should study at a school like that. You can finally learn how to not put your elbows on the table!” He suddenly barks at you.
[result] it is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

[option] “Hey, why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nation’s respect between the world's nations. In fact, this will be the perfect time to use my invitation cards my mother in-law gave me!”
[result] world leaders love fancy tea parties with @@LEADER@@

[option] “Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself." Your Secretary says, entering the room with a sewer like stench. "Back when I was a kid we could do whatever we wanted without consequences! Let our nation do what we prefer, without all these awful complicated rules!”
[result] children in @@NAME@@ are told they can do whatever they want

“They said WHAT about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@NAME@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”
[result] it is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

Draft 7

[desc]Last night at a party with many world leaders, @@NAME@@ was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world, all because of your newly appointed Secretary’s pig-like behavior at the dinner table. After spilling a glass of wine, chewing with @@HIS@@ mouth open, and even attempting to woo the princess of Maxtopia, @@HE@@ was asked to leave the party! You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to your office to discuss the issue.

[option] “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners. “Recent studies show that, in @@NAME@@, citizens who are more polite and well mannered are more productive to society. Even you should study at a school like that. You can finally learn how to not put your elbows on the table!” He suddenly barks at you.
[result] it is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilized.

[option] “Hey, why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilized @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nation’s respect between the world's nations. In fact, this will be the perfect time to use my invitation cards my mother-in-law gave me!”
[result] world leaders love fancy tea parties with @@LEADER@@

[option] “Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself." Your Secretary says, entering the room with a sewer-like stench. "Back when I was a kid we could do whatever we wanted without consequences! Let our nation do what we prefer, without all these awful complicated rules!”
[result] children in @@NAME@@ are told they can do whatever they want

“They said WHAT about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@NAME@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”
[result] it is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

Feel free to roast it :3

by **Nooooooooooooooo** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:00 pm

Who is sorianora

by **Plus Nova Imperii** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:01 pm

Sorianora wrote:Hey so this is probably covered in other issues. But I want to try and see if it’s any good by posting it here to get advice.

My issue proposal:

Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your fathers pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called your Minister of Table manners and the Minister of Fancy Parties to the your office to discuss the issue.

1. “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of table manners.
“In fact even you @@LEADER@@ should take it, and get your elbows off the table!”

Result: It is said even the flees of @@NATION@@ are civilised.

2. “@@leader@@ why not invite them to a fancy here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NATION@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the powerful nations.”

Result: World leaders love imaginary tea parties with @@LEADER@@

3. Just then your father walks into the room wearing his pj’s. He sits on your table to the disgust of you minister.
“Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself. Back in my day we could to whatever we wanted without consequences! Manners are for Maxtopians!”

Result: It is hard to tell the difference between @@NATION@@ and a pigsty.

4. “They said what about @@NATION@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should March our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@Nation@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NATION@@”

Result: It is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

Feel free to roast it :3

Ngl Feel like I have seen this before

by **Nooooooooooooooo** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:03 pm

Just a tip, I'd make the title of the thread something like "[DRAFT] (Issue title)"

by **Minskiev** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:04 pm

It’s...inconsistent. There are also some grammatical errors. The biggest flaw I can instantly see are the macro(e?)s. Instead of @@NATION@@, you should use @@NAME@@. Also, some text inside the @ symbols aren’t the same. Make sure they’re all capitalized.

Now, I haven’t checked if the issue premise overlaps. Just ask around on the Writer’s Block, some of the nerds like West will help you.

by **Westinor** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:35 pm

Minskiev wrote:Now, I haven’t checked if the issue premise overlaps. Just ask around on the Writer’s Block, some of the nerds like West will help you.

Okay buddy

Sorianora wrote:Hey so this is probably covered in other issues. But I want to try and see if it’s any good by posting it here to get advice.

Though the exact premise of your father or someone related to you/an important governmental official being rude or having bad mannerisms isn't covered (though it could be a good premise, will get to that in a sec) there is one important issues to consider: #985, which deals with the international consequences of the rude mannerisms of your people. The overall premise right now, though somewhat different from the aforementioned issue I think would fare better focusing on the question of what happens when you have an advisor that is rude, but perhaps efficient. That may be a bit granular, and you might have to twist it a bit to get an interesting issue, but right now this just seems like a slightly interesting premise with boring, standards solutions. I'd also note that we tend not to use the "father" or "mother" of your nation's leader in issues, simply because there are probably plenty of instances in which a leader's parent may not be alive or around/the leader is an omnipotent god. We can't really deal with the second one, but keep that in mind.

by **Megistos** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:23 am

Sorianora wrote:You have called your Minister of Table manners and the Minister of Fancy Parties to the your office to discuss the issue.

Before this there are grammar issues, you should fix that or use something like Grammarly, anyway, remove 'You have called your Minister of Table manners and the Minister of Fancy Parties to your office to fix the issue', it's obvious you're going to discuss with people in your office, and those Minister of Table manners and Minister of Fancy Parties should probably be first mentioned in the issue itself, not the intro. Just my feedback, of course.

Sorianora wrote:“@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of table manners. “In fact even you @@LEADER@@ should take it, and get your elbows off the table!”

First, probably make Minister of table manners Minister of Table Manners. Second, it's kind of, I don't know, not appealing, at least to me.

Sorianora wrote:It is said even the flees of @@NATION@@ are civilised.

Flees? Shouldn't it be Fleas?

Sorianora wrote:“@@leader@@ why not invite them to a fancy here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NATION@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the powerful nations.”

@@LEADER@@ instead of @@leader@@. Also, fancy what? Fancy party? Fancy nothing? I don't know, maybe this line will work, but why will they come to @@NAME@@ if @@NAME@@ had already been humiliated?

Sorianora wrote:Just then your father walks into the room wearing his pj’s. He sits on your table to the disgust of you minister.
“Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself. Back in my day we could to whatever we wanted without consequences! Manners are for Maxtopians!”

This needs a little more reasoning as for why to stick to the 'old days', and "Manners are for Maxtopians?" I don't know 'bout you, but this seems silly to me.

Also, last issue, March should be march.

by **Sorianora** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:08 am

Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

1. “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of table manners.
“In fact even you @@LEADER@@ should take it, and get your elbows off the table!”

Result: It is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

2. “@@LEADER@@ why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the powerful nations.”

Result: World leaders love imaginary tea parties with @@LEADER@@

3. Just then your Prime Minister, late as usual, enters the room. As he walks up to the group, the whole table shies away from your Prime Minister to avoid the stench.
“Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself. Back when I was a kid we could to whatever we wanted without consequence ! Manners are for Maxtopians!”

Result: It is hard to tell the difference between @@NATION@@ and a pigsty.

4. “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@Nation@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”

Result: It is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.p

Here is my second draft, tried a few of your changes your suggested. Still can’t think of a title.....

by **The New California Republic** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:12 am

Put all drafts in the original post, and put a spoiler around the old drafts, thus:

Code: Select all: [spoiler=Draft 1]draft text here[/spoiler]

by **Sorianora** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:17 am

The New California Republic wrote:Put all drafts in the original post, and put a spoiler around the old drafts, thus:

Code: Select all
[spoiler=Draft 1]draft text here[/spoiler]

Thanks, just did that

by **The New California Republic** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:18 am

Sorianora wrote:
The New California Republic wrote:Put all drafts in the original post, and put a spoiler around the old drafts, thus:

Code: Select all
[spoiler=Draft 1]draft text here[/spoiler]

Thanks, just did that

Keep the current draft unspoilered.

by **Megistos** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:22 am

Sorianora wrote:Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

1. “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of table manners.
“In fact even you @@LEADER@@ should take it, and get your elbows off the table!”

Result: It is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

2. “@@LEADER@@ why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the powerful nations.”

Result: World leaders love imaginary tea parties with @@LEADER@@

3. Just then your Prime Minister, late as usual, enters the room. As he walks up to the group, the whole table shies away from your Prime Minister to avoid the stench.
“Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself. Back when I was a kid we could to whatever we wanted without consequence ! Manners are for Maxtopians!”

Result: It is hard to tell the difference between @@NATION@@ and a pigsty.

4. “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@Nation@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”

Result: It is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.p

Here is my second draft, tried a few of your changes your suggested. Still can’t think of a title.....

Piggy Party

[desc] Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

[option] “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners. “In fact, even you should study at a school like that to learn how to not put your elbows on the table!” He suddenly barks at you.
[result] it is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

[option] “Hey, why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the world's nations.”
[result] world leaders love fancy tea parties with @@LEADER@@

[option] “Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself." Your Prime Minister says, entering the room with a stinky stench. "Back when I was a kid we could do whatever we wanted without consequences! Let our nation do what we prefer, without all these stinky rules!”
[result] children in @@NAME@@ are told they can do whatever they want to do

[option] “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@NAME@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”
[result] it is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

Not the best, but just some suggestions.

by **Baggieland** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:22 am

This seems very similar to #1064 Culture Wars.

by **Sorianora** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:31 am

Baggieland wrote:This seems very similar to #1064 Culture Wars.

Can you send a link to that one?

by **Sorianora** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:32 am

Megistos wrote:
Sorianora wrote:Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

1. “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of table manners.
“In fact even you @@LEADER@@ should take it, and get your elbows off the table!”

Result: It is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

2. “@@LEADER@@ why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the powerful nations.”

Result: World leaders love imaginary tea parties with @@LEADER@@

3. Just then your Prime Minister, late as usual, enters the room. As he walks up to the group, the whole table shies away from your Prime Minister to avoid the stench.
“Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself. Back when I was a kid we could to whatever we wanted without consequence ! Manners are for Maxtopians!”

Result: It is hard to tell the difference between @@NATION@@ and a pigsty.

4. “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@Nation@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”

Result: It is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.p

Here is my second draft, tried a few of your changes your suggested. Still can’t think of a title.....

Piggy Party

[desc] Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

[option] “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners. “In fact, even you should study at a school like that to learn how to not put your elbows on the table!” He suddenly barks at you.
[result] it is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

[option] “Hey, why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the world's nations.”
[result] world leaders love fancy tea parties with @@LEADER@@

[option] “Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself." Your Prime Minister says, entering the room with a stinky stench. "Back when I was a kid we could do whatever we wanted without consequences! Let our nation do what we prefer, without all these stinky rules!”
[result] children in @@NAME@@ are told they can do whatever they want to do

[option] “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@NAME@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”
[result] it is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

Not the best, but just some suggestions.

That looks pretty good actually!

by **Socialist States of Ludistan** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:45 am

Very nice, but I would advice making them longer.

by **Megistos** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:49 am

Sorianora wrote:
Baggieland wrote:This seems very similar to #1064 Culture Wars.

Can you send a link to that one?

Here

It is very similar, maybe move the basis of the options a little bit here and there?

by **The New California Republic** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:51 am

Socialist States of Ludistan wrote:Very nice, but I would advice making them longer.

An issue only needs to be as long as it needs to be. Adding random guff and filler actually makes an issue worse, not better.

by **Baloo Kingdom** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 9:55 am

The New California Republic wrote:
Socialist States of Ludistan wrote:Very nice, but I would advice making them longer.

An issue only needs to be as long as it needs to be. Adding random guff and filler actually makes an issue worse, not better.

I've found that to be true, length < quality.

by **Sorianora** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:16 am

I feel like it could use a bit more drafting, and I believe this issue would be eligible for all nations....

by **Baloo Kingdom** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:19 am

Sorianora wrote:I feel like it could use a bit more drafting, and I believe this issue would be eligible for all nations....

I believe it's only valid for those who have a leader.

by **Nooooooooooooooo** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:26 am

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Sorianora wrote:I feel like it could use a bit more drafting, and I believe this issue would be eligible for all nations....

I believe it's only valid for those who have a leader.

Actually, it doesn't matter, since your population doesn't matter for issues.

by **Baloo Kingdom** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:33 am

Nooooooooooooooo wrote:
Baloo Kingdom wrote:I believe it's only valid for those who have a leader.

Actually, it doesn't matter, since your population doesn't matter for issues.

Yeah, but he uses @@LEADER@@ in Draft 2

by **Nooooooooooooooo** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:35 am

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Nooooooooooooooo wrote:Actually, it doesn't matter, since your population doesn't matter for issues.

Yeah, but he uses @@LEADER@@ in Draft 2

Then it would just say "Leader" without anything else

by **Megistos** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:36 am

Now I don't really get what you are saying in the OP. Lemme guess what it should look like:

Piggy Party

[desc] Last night at a party with many world leaders your county was put to shame and made them the laughingstock of the modern world because of your Prime Minister’s pig like behaviour at the dinner table. You have called a meeting of your finest and most chivalrous ministers to the your office to discuss the issue.

[option] “@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners. “In fact, even you should study at a school like that to learn how to not put your elbows on the table!” He suddenly barks at you.
[result] it is said even the fleas of @@NAME@@ are civilised.

[option] “Hey, why not invite them to a fancy party here in @@CAPITAL@@?” States your Minister of Fancy Parties. “We can show them how civilised @@NAME@@ really is and we can reclaim our nations respect between the world's nations.”
[result] world leaders love fancy tea parties with @@LEADER@@

[option] “Why @@LEADER@@, I see no reason why I can’t just be myself." Your Prime Minister says, entering the room with a stinky stench. "Back when I was a kid we could do whatever we wanted without consequences! Let our nation do what we prefer, without all these stinky rules!”
[result] children in @@NAME@@ are told they can do whatever they want to do

[option] “They said what about @@NAME@@!” Screams your Minister of Defence. “We should march our army to the borders of those brutish nations and show them the might of @@NAME@@! That’ll make them think twice before insulting @@NAME@@”
[result] it is said dinner table squabbles turn to world wars.

or something like this.

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Nooooooooooooooo wrote:Actually, it doesn't matter, since your population doesn't matter for issues.

Yeah, but he uses @@LEADER@@ in Draft 2

Then you wouldn't be eligible for issues until you reach 750 million population. Remember, if you don't list a leader, it'll appear to (say for example me) "Leader, look!" rather than "Emperor Solace, look!"

Piggy Party (issue proposal)

Piggy Party (issue proposal)

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