World Cup 86: Roleplay Thread

[Astograth]

Previously

WE SUCK
Guest column by Aztore Irungarai, national team player 643-651

It is no secret to anyone that our Olibondeka has seen better days. Only halfway into this qualifying campaign, we already knew we weren’t going to make it. We lost the critical matches against Turori and Siovanija & Teusland, and allowed them to pull away from us by drawing against Garifunya, Omerica, Blampano and Valladares, all of which we were favourites to beat. We may earn an invitation to the Cup of Harmony, but after embarrassing ourselves at the Copa Rushmori and now conceding three goals to the bottom-placed team in our group, the conclusion is quite simple: we suck.

To be clear, this is not an indictment of Louis Vaudrail, his staff, the players or the FAF. The issue is not, I believe, in any one person’s hands. Yet the truth is inescapable: we suck, and my point is that this basic fact has not yet been accepted by an Astograthian public that is, instead, fed constant platitudes, “moral victories” and outright falsehoods.

Obviously, no one connected to the team will admit the team is bad because their jobs hinge on the team playing well. I do not fault them for that. I do fault the likes of Sustrai Estilarte and Lau Kanala, who have accustomed us over the years to fawning coverage of Olibondeka. This was well deserved in their surprising run of nearly reaching World Cup 85 and achieving a fourth-place finish at Cup of Harmony 77, but is completely undeserved today. Before then, the Astograthian press were quick to gloss over the unmitigated disaster that was the World Cup 83 qualifying run, which was judged to be so awful at FAF headquarters that an entire World Cup cycle was skipped in the process of rebuilding. And even before then we have long listened to fantasies regarding the merits of the Astograthian First Division, allegedly brimming with sublime talent, or the unshakeable success of our foreign-based players, such as Ager Alaba, Ugaitz Leskerre or, above all, Indartsu Lekea.

I do not mean to pick on Lekea, but he is a pre-eminent example of a player who is good but depicted by our hyperbolic press as an international superstar when he is not. He will never be a Galáctico; he has never been close to being one. AFC Corvistone will not win the Nepharim Premiership this year or the next or the one after that – possibly ever! And yet, from watching Astograthian news coverage you would guess they were Nephara’s Ituraitz FC, when they are far more Gortz United. He is a squad player at an upper-midtable team in the best league in the world. That is a fine achievement, in my opinion enough to earn him a starting place for Astograth and the captain’s armband, and it need not be inflated beyond that.

Why does this happen? Well, because we used to be good. Actually good. I should know, I was there for it! I personally was not a great star, mostly acting as backup goalkeeper, but I was there through four qualifying campaigns, three World Cups, our victory at Cup of Harmony 50, the thrilling ride to the semifinals of World Cup 61. I had the honour of playing in the third-place play-off of that World Cup against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, and in the final of the first Brevity Challenge Cup where we defeated Polar Islandstates. At club level, I played for Sporting Iturributa and for Ousevale Borough in Krytenia.

The later years of my career fell right at the apex of Olibondeka’s history. We’d won a Cup of Harmony, we’d reached the semifinals of a World Cup, we would host the following one. And even though the team played poorly at 62, it was just when Urbizania Wanderers were winning the UICA Champions’ Cup, the first Astograthian club to do so, and with a world-renowned superstar in Laborious Hawk. The 640’s were the national team’s best years, while the 650’s were the First Division’s golden decade. This is consistent with the Lopez Principle (not to be confused with the Cabañas Effect or the Jaffacake Constant), whereby a stronger national team will tend to have a weaker league and vice versa. Press coverage of both was just as fawning as it is now, but it was correct. Our teams, whether international or domestic, were indeed some of the best in the world.

Now, of course, neither is true. In relative quality, our national team is poor, our league is poor. I would not consider either to be even “middling”, as I would expect a middling national team to occasionally qualify for the World Cup and a middling league to occasionally reach the Champions’ League group stage. So far, we haven’t proven able to do either, yet no one seems able to admit that we suck. The sport has grown and outpaced us, truly exploded in the amount of creative and unexpected variations of the game we all know and love, to the point where even reaching our prior level would not be enough to be competitive. With respect to my former teammates and colleagues, I firmly believe that if we were to transport that World Cup 61 squad, or the 654-55 Ituraitz FC team, into today, they too would suck to some degree.

Only after accepting all of this can we improve, because if we were already at our best then the future would look quite grim indeed.

[Ethane]

Unbroken, Preview 2
Unbroken, Coming World Cup 87

"Prime Minister, are you aware that what you are planning to do would break all manners of internationally binding and customary law? This imperialistic fascination of yours has to end. Not only would removing Ethani residents from the aforementioned area of The Isle of Lowes break numerous pieces of legislation, some even written into effect by your very own party, the untold damage it would cause to such a variety of precious natural habitats would destroy Ethane's natural beauty, but also our reputation as a land full of people who care deeply for the environment. I demand, Prime Minister, that you turn away from this misguided path, and come back to reality. Step away from your imperialistic fascination of overcoming and dominating the environment and people, and sit down. Learn your place. This is a democracy, not your personal autocracy."

The prime minister stands up, outraged, pointing his finger directly at the leader of the second largest party in the Parliament - Sarah Billington. "How dare you slander me in such a way. To suggest I don't have respect for our democracy. The cheek, to suggest I would rather be leading an autocratic country." He spoke with fury, the words erupting out of his mouth. He was angry, beyond angry, by the statements. "I am proud to be your leader - your democratically elected leader. And my I remind you, Sarah, that my party won the largest percentage of votes in the last election. Let's not forget, everyone, when this very leader decided to try to subvert the will of the nation, and impose a coalition on us with her as it's leader. It is not my party that is undemocratic; it is not I who is undemocratic. No, ladies and gentlemen, it is this person sitting opposite to me, and her party, who is undemocratic."

Frustrated is an understatement to describe Sarah's attitude. She'd been questioning the Prime Minister on this for 10 minutes now, and yet he still wouldn't provide a satisfactory answer. She had to move on, just one more question on the topic. "Mr. Oliviera, answer the question, if you may. Why are you willing to pass through a piece of legislation that will not only harm the lives of the very people who vote for you, but also damage our reputation overseas? Why do you call yourself the party of law and order, but then break law in pursuit of your own goals? Answer me this, Prime Minister."

"The only person that would harm the people of this great nation in this chamber is not me, Mrs. Billington, but you. You are the most dangerous thing in this Parliament to the wellbeing of this nation. If you got into power, I dread the things that would happen in this country. It would go to the dogs." The Prime Minister brandished a piece of paper in his right hand, waving it in the air. "Your family's history is something to be remarked upon as well, eh? Money laundering, prostitution, murder. Sounds like it is you and your family that is the danger to this country."

Outrage and anger, and an abundance of other emotions swept over Sarah's face. So the ultimatum was true. He knew. He knew everything. How? Did he have links? Was he dirty, like her? Who else in this chamber knew? Did the public know, would the public know?

She decided to play his game. "More slanderous accusations by a Prime Minister who has not a shred of dignity or respect for the people of this nation, or for me. To spread such lies, such slander, about my family and I. This is a new low, even for this government. And it's time you were stopped. You've gone on long enough, hurting the people of this country, harming us and treating us with an absolute lack of respect. You must think we're all idiots. Puppets for you to toy around with. Well, as the leader of the second biggest party, I will not allow it one moment longer." She hesitated. Did she want to do this? Yes. At this stage, it was go nuclear or give up.

"I am officially submitting an motion of no confidence in the current government and coalition partners, should they decide to remain aligned with the current governing party."

A voice boomed across the chamber. "The motion has been recognised." The voice paused, with shocked sounds and a light chattering heard across the room. "I demand silence in this chamber immediately." The chattering stopped; everyone turned towards the leader of the chamber, affectionately known as 'red hat' for the red hat he wore on his head. "The motion has been recognised. As a motion of no confidence has been submitted, parliamentary proceedings will be suspended indefinitely until the vote has been held - this will occur in exactly one week today. You are dismissed."

Everyone clambered out of their chairs, heading towards the exit. But Sarah was rushing, quicker than most, to get out of the chamber. If they knew, then others knew too. And that put her in danger. But she wasn't concerned about that. If her identity had been discovered, then it was only a matter of time until his identity was discovered. She had to find him. She had to warn him before it was too late. Was it too late?"

~The next morning~

He sat up. He'd slept well - the day before was an exhausting day of training. But he had to be ready today. Today was the day the selectors were coming. He had to back on to the national team - his lifelong ambition was always to play for the team, and get them to the World Cup. It didn't happen last cycle - maybe this one, or the next. But it would happen - one day. And he'd be there to play it.

He went to grab some breakfast - bran flakes and a protein shake. He sat on the sofa with it, flicking on the TV; the best way to wake up in the morning - breakfast and the news. He didn't expect to see what the news was though - the leader of the second largest party in Ethane, dead. They say it was suicide - she jumped out of her window in her apartment, and fell to her death. The police weren't treating it as a crime.

He thought he recognised the woman. There'd always been a level of familiarity with her, but for some reason that familiarity was more intense, and one of agony - mourning for her. He dismissed it; how would he know her? He wouldn't know her, beyond a professional level at least. The familiarity and agony went deeper than professionalism, yet he still dismissed it. It was nothing. She was no one to him. She was wrong too in politics. He clicked off the TV, and then the phone rang.

"Bad news mate. The selectors aren't coming down today. Said that the government have told them it's not safe. Don't know why, nothing bad has happened apart from the suicide of that poor lass. You're still coming in for training though - we'll have you perfect for when they reschedule." Well, that just sucked.

---

Schedule and Stats

---

---

MD1: Hampton Island 0-0 Ethane @ Golden Bear Stadium, Stafford City
MD2: Ethane 0-0 Gyatso-Kai @ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum
MD3: Pemecutan 0-1 Ethane @ Pemecutan
MD4: Ethane 1-0 The Fortem @ The Marianne Detreux Stadium, Southern Hampton
MD5: Darkmania 0-1 Ethane @ Darkmania
MD6: Ethane 1-2 Lisander @ Newton-Smith Arena, Letson
MD7: Lo Santano 1-0 Ethane @ Lo Santano
MD8: Brenecia 1-0 Ethane @ Kingsgarden, Rozelle
MD9: Ethane 1-0 Nethertopia @ The Marianne Detreux Stadium, Southern Hampton
MD10: Ethane 0-1 Hampton Island @ King Edward IV Stadium, New Sarum
MD11: Gyatso-Kai 0-2 Ethane @ Gyatso-Kai
MD12: Ethane 4-0 Pemecutan @ Newton-Smith Arena, Letson
MD13: The Fortem 0-0 Ethane @ Bayne Arena, Fortem City
MD14: Ethane vs Darkmania (80) @ King Edward Stadium, New Sarum
MD15: Lisander (85) vs Ethane @ Lisander
MD16: Ethane vs Lo Santano (190) @ Newton-Smith Arena, Letson
MD17: Ethane vs Brenecia (11) @ King Edward Stadium, New Sarum
MD18: Nethertopia (UR) vs Ethane @ Nethertopia

Goals
Burgess - 3
Smith - 2
Zavala - 1
Montoya - 1
Ford - 1
Headley - 1
Obrien - 1
Cole - 1

Assists
Ford - 3
Underwood - 2
Smith - 1
Wilburn-Mason - 1
Roberts - 1
Obrien - 1
Montoya - 1
Woodrow - 1

[Kelssek]

Colm Ó Tuathail glanced up as he trotted forward with the ball at his feet. The Equestrian defence was warily watching Thamior Liadon, who was staying deep but on his toes, ready to spring onto the overlap and drive forward to receive a pass. if Colm chose that option. But clearly, players on both teams were expecting that, and the space was already disappearing. Something different was needed. He put boot to ball and swung it not through the left channel, but across the breadth of the field towards the opposite corner. Andrey Yusupov broke into a sprint to chase it down on the right flank. The crowd at Saint-Rémy’s Stade Intersat took a collective breath, willing the ball to stay in bounds as Yusupov caught up to it right on the goal line. Andrey stretched to scoop it up and across the penalty box.

Matt Lister had come forward to meet it at the near post. It was a diffcult angle and the flight of the ball wouldn’t help get a good header onto the goal. Straining to hold off the challenge of his marker, he got his head under the ball and sent it looping ten yards across the area.

The ball’s arc was slow and everyone could see where it was going to land. But only Seamus Wylten was in position to get there. Seamus knew the ball would fall deceptively quickly if he let it drop. Besides, from this range, accuracy wasn’t the highest priority. He jumped, got his head to the ball, and directed it into the goal.

The stadium erupted. The first goal of the match was theirs. The crowd knew what a win against Equestria meant. It meant first place. It meant Kelssek’s fate would be in their own hands the rest of the way. It meant the rest of the group would be chasing them to make it to the World Cup.

Seamus ran to the corner flag in celebration. He hadn’t thought this through at all... knee slide? Shit. He jumped and punched the air before the jumping fans, but that didn’t seem sufficient, so he ran up to the lens of the nearest TV camera and, remembering this was the Frankish-speaking region, put his limited second-language skills to use.

“FUCKINNNG OSTIE CÂLIIISSEEEE!!!!”

As the relevant hashtag began trending on Honkr, the journalists in the gantry began tapping away at their ledes.

Seamus Wylten has been having a brilliant season in the Kelssek Football League, and he scored maybe the biggest goal of his season to help Kelssek to a win against Equestria that could be vital for Kelssek’s chances of making the finals of World Cup 86.

The Clayquot City striker’s form has been a huge part of the club’s unexpected challenge for IFCF qualification. Carrying it over into international play is a big step in the 24-year old’s development into a world-class forward...

KELSSEK 3 - Wylten (29’), Lister (52’), Tremblay-Fillon (83’)
Poirier, Liadon, Curtin, Halliger, Douglass (Vinter 79’), Demetriev, Lapierre, Ó Tuathail (Tremblay-Fillon 73’), Yusupov, Wylten (Custworth 86’), Lister
EQUESTRIA 0
Stade Intersat, St-Rémy (attendance 36,788)

SULTANATE OF OONTAZ 0
KELSSEK 2 Yusupov (8’), Lister (66’)
Gallagher, Bowler, Fourtin, Lozic, Vinter, Bogdanor, Blueman (Greenwood 63’), McDonald (Lafrenière 79’), Douglass, Taleb, Lister (Torshen 70’)

[Hampton Island]

(Scenario: Manager Hannah Sanders converses with members of the team, following Gyatkso-Kai win)

Hannah Sanders: That’s 30, guys. You’re on a roll!

Edwin Conney: Complete efforts day after day, a perfect four for four. Too bad those younger guys had to play the first half.

Clyde Benner: I know, right. We could probably be leading the group right now but we need to be careful and not get ahead of ourselves.

Hank Andrews: We are doing even better then we did last time. Building on all of the momentum that we were able to get, and look, Hannah is going to win that bet against the turd from Stafford City.

Hannah Sanders: I can’t wait to take over complete control of this team.

Roger Grant: You’re in control now. You are the manager.

Clyde Benner: She means the ownership role. The bet? Remember.

Roger Grant: Oh right, right. That is why we are playing in Marquette.

Edwin Conney: As beautiful as Marquette is, I would love to go into Stafford City again with Hannah as the owner.

Hannah Sanders: He still owns the stadium, though. I would only get ownership of the team. So any return to Stafford City would still have him in the picture.

Clyde Benner: Let’s not talk like it is official yet. We have to get seven more points to win the bet, or six to force it into tiebreakers.

Hank Andrews: Tiebreaker between us and the first half young guys is strongly in our favor right now.

Clyde Benner: Yes, but if we choke, it is not.

Edwin Conney: We’d have to lose by some handy margins, but yet still finish in a tie on points to lose that tiebreaker. We can pretty safely say that we just need the six points, but come on now, we want to get into the World Cup.

Roger Grant: We already made the World Cup.

Edwin Conney: I mean this current one, not the last one.

Roger Grant: Oh yeah. Right, sorry.

Hannah Sanders: Roger, I have noticed your forgetfulness is getting worse since the last time, you should get that checked.

Roger Grant: I’m okay, Hailey.

Hannah Sanders: Hannah.

Roger Grant: Sorry.

Hank Andrews: She has a good point, Roger, we have been noticing this.

Roger Grant: It just affects me more after a game when I am tired. I am usually fine.

Edwin Conney: We just want what is best for you.

Hannah Sanders: Two winnable games coming up. Let’s lock up the six points, but the group title is in reach.

Edwin Conney: It is, but staying in the top six of second place teams would be even better.

Clyde Benner: Exactly the goal is not to win this bet, but to make the World Cup, and hopefully we can avoid the playoff. There are some good squads potentially lined up for the playoff. We do not want to be playing in that.

[Farfadillis]

Now back in print after a brief ten-year hiatus!

Back To Our Regular Programming, Hopefully

Before an ordinary Alba and Cymru versus Farfadillis game, regardless of venue, most Farves would usually be very confident. This was not the case yesterday, as Farfadillis arrived having dropped eight points from eminently winnable games: away at Graintfjall (their media's witty and their team's doing well, though, so we were not that shocked), at home against Nagore and away at Northwest Kalactin. Not only did we drop eight points, but we scored one (1) goal in those three games. If we were organized enough to have records for things like this, we're sure we'd have a lot of trouble finding the last time this happened. As a result, there was an air of distinct desperation as la Vherderoja took the pitch against Alba and Cymru. It is rumored the president of the FFFF (and, supposedly, Farolera), ex-player Alex Terán, had already prepared the “it was two countries against zero” defense.

After the failure that rotation proved to be against Nagore and Northwest Kalactin, Pam Scott decided to instead opt for rotating the squad back to a full-strength eleven. Fielding players of the caliber of Faragó rue Cazade is overkill, many would've complained, had rue Cazade not performed so direly against Graintfjall a couple of matchdays before, arguably costing us the game. Concerns remained over the injury he sustained against Crisisbless, and rue Cazade has always been inconsistent playing for the national team, but last night was one of those rue Cazade nights.

Within just fifteen minutes, the Szoirsian takilante had already set up two goals: first in the fifth minute, by lobbing it over the Alba and Cymruan defense, leaving Röémün Çídh one-on-one with the goalkeeper, and then ten minutes later by dribbling past two players then generously crossing it to Edmün Çídh for the tap-in.

As we have gotten used to by now, Farfadillis then promptly collapsed. Just twelve minutes later, some striker whose name we couldn't even find on the internet slipped past Lsôs and Exihosahar before firing past Aanderaa. In the last play of the first half, they pulled level by having that same striker find the ball, all alone, at the end of some amateur's cross. Neither Lsôs nor Exihosahar were anywhere to be found in that play either. The defense being the problem instead of the attack was a break away from the mind-numbing idiosyncrasy of the three previous matches, however.

For the second half, Pam had the good sense to sub Çí Xôrí in for the underperforming Ziczi, and the result was immediate: Farfadillis came out of the dressing room prepared to take the three points home, and that they did. With Çí Xôrí, t'Öéséné and rue Cazade in the middle of the pitch, la Vherderoja finally managed to overrun their opponents in midfield, and from there on out the Farves were the only ones to get shots on target.

In the sixty-fifth minute, an incisive pass from t'Öéséné found a sneaky Edmün Çídh having found his way past the Alba and Cymru defense. The Rulandese youngster went on to calmly pass the ball towards an incoming rue Cazade who mercilessly smashed it past the goalkeeper. Twelve minutes later, a great individual play but Çí Xôrí left Alxíkí with a great opportunity to score, but the Alba and Cymru goalkeeper saved it. No matter, surely thought rue Cazade, as he pounced for the rebound, giving the team a much healthier two-goal lead. Five minutes later, a great long-range attempt from the Szoirsian was met by the crossbar, then the goal line, then the roof of the net. In less than twenty minutes, Faragó had bagged himself a hat-trick, and proven doubters right. He really is incredibly inconsistent.

With Farfadillis three goals ahead, not much else happened in the game. Three points is a very nice return to routine for the Farfadillis national team, which in a blink of an eye had recently suffered no less than one-fifth of their World Cup qualifiers losses since the start of World Cup 72 qualifiers.

Farfadillis still sits atop Group 14, but it is hard not to imagine how comfortable we would be if we'd won against Graintfjall and Nagore. Every game should be played like a final by the players, and it is precisely this that worries this journalist. We have not been in danger of not qualifying since World Cup 78. None of these players know what it feels like, and some of them don't even remember a Farfadillis team that struggled with qualifiers. Hopefully, our players' sum of the parts will prevail, because the whole isn't looking very exciting.

[Brenecia]

Brenecia 0 - 2 Hampton Island
(4-3-3) 20 - Wright; 2 - Bravender, 5 - Leadbetter, 6 - Mathers, 19 - Roscommon; 8 - Matheson (c), 4 - Townsend, 14 - Caitiff (21 - Parrish 82'); 7 - Cheney, 10 - Ciogach (17 - Lindauer 76'), 16 - Fletcher (11 - Pace 76')

Lisander 2 - 5 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 20 - Wright; 2 - Bravender, 5 - Leadbetter, 22 - Giltanan, 19 - Roscommon; 8 - Matheson (c), 23 - Ondrejko, 14 - Caitiff; 7 - Cheney, 17 - Lindauer (9 - White 62'), 11 - Pace
Goals: Lindauer 14', Pace 23', Cheney 30', Caitiff 54', White 77'

One unexpected development of qualifying was that Brelk-Xeral Erv had finally begun to settle down.
They'd earned the relatively big bucks with the BFA, and managed to settle down in a cushy Rozelle flat. They'd also managed to settle in with a cushy Rozelle girlfriend, one comfortable enough with Brelk-Xeral's deeply-ingrained tendency to forget from time to time that binary genders existed.
Brelk-Xeral liked things a precise way. They'd always felt this was something they had to arrange on their own, but it turned out having a partner who, importantly! didn't give a fuck about football, could just sort this out ambiently in the background.
They could come home and the coffee would be right there! Wow!
They weren't even sure where they'd met them. Her. Whatever. Felice had just kind of shown up on their arm at some event, and the tabloids had ate it up. Brelk-Xeral's first thought had been: 'huh, why the hell do they think we're dating?' The second had been: '... although...'
They hadn't needed to elaborate further, because the phone had rung and Felice was similarly amused-curious and now here they were with coffee that refilled itself as they pored over the tapes. And the tapes were telling them that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
They just weren't sure what.
They felt something warm coil around an arm, and wiggled fingers around experimentally. Finding them still intact, they were able to conclude this was Felice and not Felice's psychotic warmongering cat.
Felice tittered, and shifted closer. Brelk-Xeral almost wanted to look over, but knew they'd find the same, familiar figure of a former model and current actress spending her 40s turning slowly and gracefully to seed.
"But the hair's new," Felice protested. Brelk-Xeral tore their eyes off the screen for a second. Yep. Purple, now.
"So it is," they murmured, before starting to look back, but Felice was already upon them, holding their face in check.
"Uh-uh-uh. Dinner will be ready in a few. So... what's got you so twisted up, hm? Felt like you've been watching the same clip on loop."
"Might as well have. It's been playing in my head every night since it happened," they said with a sigh. "I mean-- I mean, look at that! Where's Clovette, huh?"
"Which one's Clovette?"
"Ach, it doesn't matter. It's just all..." They gestured helpless at the screen as a grey-haired guy played a neat one-two to ease through some slack marking and drive a high ball into the top corner. But what would Felice know?
Well... she was perceptive, and intelligent. And there was that saying about fresh eyes...
"Well, I'll just bring out--"
"Ah. No." Brelk-Xeral held up a slender finger. "Watch this a moment. Tell me; what do you think is wrong with this picture?"
Together, for a minute or so, they watched. Her hands wrapped tightly around theirs. She squinted gamely.
At last, she suggested; "They just don't look up for it, do they, really?"

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 8
Goalkeepers: 1 - Scathach Wright (Raynor City United, VAL), 12 - Anthea Finnan (Brigham, EUR), 20 - Opal Cairncross (Marketville, EUR)
Defenders: 2 - Clovette Bravender (Ulsa, EUR), 3 - Morwen Prentice (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 5 - Finn Leadbetter (Holdenberg, EUR), 6 - Leona Ford (Falkner United), 18 - Sorcha Lonergan (Northern Union), 19 - Triss Roscommon (Revolutionaries, EUR), 22 - Casey Giltanan (Workers Union, EUR)
Midfielders: 4 - Finn Townsend (North Hall), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR, c), 13 - Cheney Deal (Northern Stallions), 14 - Esther Caitiff (Southern Star), 21 - Dreigiau Parrish (Kingsgrove), 23 - Tethys Ondrejko (Twin Saints)
Forwards: 7 - Lauren Cheney (Spartangrad, EUR), 9 - Mhacha White (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Lajuno, EUR), 11 - Tricia Pace (Northern Union), 15 - Linoan Waters (Brookford Otters, NPH), 16 - Ceridwen Fletcher (Holdenberg, EUR), 17 - Creidne Lindauer (Cazadores Cathair, AUD)

SCHEDULE
Nethertopia 1 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Darkmania
Hampton Island 1 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 1 Lisander
Gyatso-Kai 2 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 1 Lo Santano
Pemecutan 4 - 5 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Ethane
The Fortem 2 - 5 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Nethertopia
Darkmania 3 - 6 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 2 Hampton Island
Lisander 2 - 5 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Gyatso-Kai
Lo Santano vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Pemecutan
Ethane vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. The Fortem

[Krytenia]

Part I: Miasma
Part II: Mistral
Part III: Tempestuous
Part IV: Trickledown
Part V: Emmenthal

IBIXAN PIECES

Part VI: Exponents

The helicopter door opened, and three men exited. Professor James Golightly, accompanied by a couple of men in military uniforms - though unarmed. He approached the two men at the door of the shack.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?" Pablo snarled, unhappy with the intrusion.
"Ever so sorry to intrude. My name is Professor James Golightly, I'm with the Capricorn Research Station."
"So why the army guys? Think a lonely old hermit might intimidate you?"
"No, it's just, well, someone needed to fly the chopper, you see."
"...fair."

---

After a few more questions and answers convinced Pablo that he was just a scientist and had no ulterior motive, Pablo grudgingly admitted James into the shack.
"So you're saying," Sam said, "you have an explanation for all this?"
"More than that, yes. But an explanation I can give you."
"We're all ears."
"Well, I'm guessing Pablo is aware of the mining activity in the hills, correct?" Sam and Pablo both nodded. "So, while the Ibexi are minding their own business mining their copper ore, something's going on in the Syndicatian mountains. We're not sure exactly what caused it - there's rumours of a weather machine, but there's been no hard evidence to find one - but they were definitely doing somthing up there. It clearly went wrong, too; from what we can tell, the entire top of one of the mountains in the range exploded - or, more to the point, something inside it did."
"So, are we talking cap falling off here," Pablo demonstrated with his hands, "or flat out kablooey?"
"Very much kablooey. This mountain also harboured a glacier, and the sudden heat and blast, combined with the mountain essentially not holding it up any more...well, the glacier wasn't there any more. It sent a torrent of meltwater and shards of rock careening through eastern Ibex, surging through rivers...and long dry river beds, like there was around here. This wall of wet doom smashed into the hillsides, pouring into and through all the mineshafts. All that was left when the water passed through was what you see today."
"So, forgive me if I'm being dense here," Sam pondered, "but what does this have to do with the desert?"
"These hills weren't the only thing the water took out. Trees, rocks, even a couple of villages, all washed away. Left a nice clear path for the sands to sweep northwards on the prevailing winds. The Ibexi never had a chance; with nothing and no-one to stop it, the desert claimed the land. It didn't help, either, that whatever caused the explosion activated LUCIFER, rendering what remained of the arable soil completely unusable."
"But isn't LUCIFER destroyed?"
"Yes, demagnetised and melted into scrap. But here? Here is why the desert still exists. Ibex, Ibixa, Nova Calania...whatever you call the land, it's semi-arid. It's only desert because it's unprotected from the arid area to the south. Fix that, shift the sands, and you have land you can safely grow crops on."
Pablo looked suspiciously at the professor. "So why are you here?"
"Simple, Professor Ruiz."

Pablo turned white. Sam's jaw involuntarily slammed open.

"Oh, I've done my research. I know you were once like me; gave it up to be closer to the nub of the matter, yes?"
"Y-yes..."
"And you couldn't get the grants. Didn't let that stop you though, you needed to know. Look at all these files; you probably have more ground research information than I do!"
"I suppose..."
"That is why I need you. I have the plans, but you, Pablo, you have the keys. With your research and ours combined, we could make this land green and keep it that way. Or you could stay here, eat your dates, drink your coconut water, and wonder what might have been. What do you say?"
"I swore I'd never set foot in the UO* as long as I lived, and I intend to keep it that way."
"Well then, good job we're not going there. I need more than a few dons to see this; this goes to the top. We're heading for Emberton!"

NOTES
*UO = University of Ousevale.

[Vdara]

Revenge: Achieved

Earlier in the group stage, Vdara had drawn 4-4 with the team they were playing today, Drunk People at the Local Tavern. While they still managed to gain a point from this match, the fans were heavily displeased, as they expected an easy win. Despite that setback, many fans still expected Vdara to win today, and for good reason - they were on a decent run of form, and they were still level on points with Eura...

And now, live coverage from Vai Sports 1!

”Well, hello to you all! We’re back at the VdarArena, and we’re set to watch 3rd-placed Vdara play Drunk People at the Local Tavern - yes, you heard me correctly, that is what they call themselves. Quite strange, isn’t it? Anyhow, the over-52,000 seater stadium that we call home is filled to the brim with fans, both sober and inebriated, so let’s take a look at the lineups for today!”

[LINEUPS]

”Starting from the back, we’ve got Zaharias Frangoglou, who replaces the manager in goals today. There’s three defenders in front of him, and they’re called Stamatios Christakos, Trifonas Tolakis and Anargyros Zerveas - who are taking up the three centreback spots. In midfield, we have the dynamic and solid duo of Akakios Demotis and Lambros Tantalopoulos, who have both been bossing the midfield in recent matches. Looking towards the front five, we’ve got Alkiviadis Manolakis starting on the left wing, with Themistoklis Muleas in left forward. At the right wing, we have Manousos Scafididis, with Mathaios Makrotsis slotting into the right forward position. Last but not least, Andrianos Petras completes the lineup in the striker position, where he’s shined in the past couple games. Now, with all that being said and done, let’s get to our match coverage, coming to you live on Vai Sports 1!”

The match report is as follows:

1: We’re underway in Vdara, and Markos Moustakakos’ side will be looking for victory tonight following that 4-0 demolition of Fujai last Matchday.
5: It’s an early opportunity for Manolakis, who’s got the ball just outside the box on the left hand side. He cuts inside, whips a cross into the box... which hits the post and goes in! I don’t think he meant that, but Alkiviadis Manolakis has launched Vdara into the lead in style, and we’re only five minutes into this match!
9: The Drunk People are looking for an equaliser, as the mighty Star Blaydia has intercepted a pass directed towards Demotis. He seems confused, but he’s definitely trying hard, as he swings his foot as hard as he can towards the ball. Star’s hit it with a lot of power... and it’s in the net from long range! Star Blaydia has scored for the Drunkards, and the regularly clothed tavern-goers have equalised at the VdarArena!
10: Petras has got the ball from kickoff, and the Drunk People seem far too confused about what they’re doing to stop him in his tracks. Petras has managed to make it to the opposition box, and he tries a lovely chip shot... which sails over the head of Equestrian Breeze and fires Vdara back into the lead! It’s 2-1, and it’s only been 10 minutes!
16: It’s a corner for Vdara, and it’s going to be Manousos Scafididis to take it. He whips it into the box... and it bounces off of Eura and goes in! Vdara have gone 3-1 up, courtesy of the stronk player that is Eura!
21: It’s a free kick to the Drunk People, and it’ll be Alasdair Frosticus who takes it. Frosticus swings his foot vaguely in the direction of the ball, and it trundles past Frangoglou and goes in! What a match this is turning out to be, haha! It’s 3-2!
33: Baker Park receives a pass from Val, and he’s now one-on-one with Frangoglou! Frangoglou tries to grab the ball from Baker Park’s feet, but the ball and Baker Park himself get past him with ease, as he fires the ball at an open net... and it goes in. The Drunk People have equalised yet again, to the dismay of Markos Moustakakos on the sidelines.
35: It’s a free kick to Vdara, and it’ll be Lambros Tantalopoulos who takes it. Lambros takes a few steps back, gets a good run-up on the ball... and curves it over the wall and into the net! Vdara lead again, and this time it’s 4-3!
37: Star Blaydia has managed to get past Zerveas, and he takes a shot... which goes in! Star Blaydia has scored again, and it’s somehow 4-4!
45: The whistle blows for halftime, and there seems to be two contrasting emotions at the sidelines. For one, the Tavern Owner is delighted that he’s not losing, yet Markos Moustakakos is annoyed that he’s not winning, especially when his team has scored four goals. What will he tell his players in the dressing room, I wonder?

Markos Moustakakos had quite a few things to say in the dressing room. While he was the acting manager of this lineup, he was still written down as a ‘player-manager’, meaning that he could still sub himself on if he really wanted.
Moustakakos: ”Jesus Christ, lads! We’re playing against a bunch of inebriated people, and yet we’re drawing with them? I mean, come on! You all need to get a grip, especially you, Zaharias! I saw the goals you conceded - they’re not goals we should be conceding at all. In fact, to prove a point, I’m subbing myself on. I’m on the bench, aren’t I? I have a kit in this room, don’t I? Fuck it, onto the pitch I go! As for the rest of you, get scoring! I’ll handle our defending, albeit from the rear end of the pitch.”

46: The match is starting back up at the VdarArena, and there’s been a few changes on both sides. Most importantly, Markos Moustakakos (who’s supposed to be managing the team) is replacing Frangoglou in goals. I mean, rightly so - he is still the first team goalkeeper, after all.
50: Star Blaydia’s got the ball, and he tries to take a shot from range... which is saved by Moustakakos. For once, the ball has been saved!
58: Demotis has the ball in midfield, and he’s passed it forward towards Muleas, who flicks the ball up and hits it on the volley... into the top left corner! It’s 5-4, and we could be in for even more goals if the trend from the first half continues!
72: It’s a yellow card for Eura, and it’s been given for... vomiting on the pitch. I didn’t even think you could be carded for that. How classy.
78: Demotis has received a pass from Tantalopoulos, and he’s nutmegged Nephara Brenecia in the process. He’s seemingly avoiding tackles from all sides, as he avoids challenges from Cassie, Farfa Dillis and Vilita Turori, before firing the ball towards goal... and putting Vdara 6-4 up! What a game this is turning out to be, we’ve had ten goals!
84: It’s a free kick to Vdara following a rubbish challenge from Vilita Turori, and it’s going to be Manolakis who takes it. Instead of shooting it, he’s passed it towards Tantalopoulos, who hits the ball with immense power... and scores! Surely that’s the game over now, as Lambros Tantalopoulos has made it 7-4 towards the hosts.
90: It’s done, it’s over, and it’s over and done with! This has been a rollercoaster ride of a game, and I’m glad to say that Vdara have managed to prevail at the end of it all.

Vdara - 7
Alkiviadis Manolakis 5’
Andrianos Petras 10’
Eura (OG) 16’
Lambros Tantalopoulos 35’, 84’
Themistoklis Muleas 58’
Akakios Demotis 78’

Drunk People at the Local Tavern - 4
Star Blaydia 9’, 37’
Alasdair Frosticus 21’
Baker Park 33’

---

With that game finished (and Eura losing to Grand Quebecois), all Vdara had to do to retain second place was defeat unranked Vangaziland in their next match... which they failed to do. They drew 2-2, and dropped back to third on goal difference. The fans were angry, to say the least, and they were hoping for better performances against Vdara’s next opponents - Megistos and Acronius. While Vdara had beaten both of these teams before, it wasn’t by much - and these teams were also on good form. However, just like you can’t judge a book by its cover, you can’t judge a match by the previous results.

[Omerica]

blogdefootball.co.or
All the football news that’s fit to print!

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Why Ryan Pritchard is Omerica’s greatest manager ever
By Serena Kendall

“It’s never easy to see the other side struggling like that. I really do wish them well for the future, and hopefully they come back stronger than ever. It’s not a good feeling once you realise that you were the reason that potentially they will never ever play again.”
— Tyler Fernando after Electrum secured qualification for the 75th World Cup finals

With the end of Omerica’s fourteenth World Cup qualifying campaign approaching, the debate over who ought to be inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame is quickly approaching. The general consensus is that one of two managers will be inducted by the United Republican Soccer Federation: Ryan Pritchard or Anne-Sophie Groothuis.

Arguments can be made for either of them to join the pantheon first, so we’re going to take a look at the arguments for each of them. Today, we’re turning our focus to the man who brought Omerica to their first World Cup finals and helmed the national team for longer than anyone else—chronologically, that is, Madame Groothuis. Here is our argument as to why Ryan Pritchard is the greatest manager Omerica have ever had.

That Qualifying Campaign
Omerica finished in third place in their World Cup 73 qualifying group, having walked off in Burningham due to accusations of refereeing errors—accusations which were almost totally unfounded, for the record. This team was a powder keg waiting to go off and their manager had just passed away. Jean-Baptiste Archambault was gone and Omerica were suddenly left rudderless with no time to properly search for a new manager.

Enter Ryan Pritchard. First introduced to the Omerica backroom as assistant to the fiery James-Alexandre Christopherson, Archambault kept Pritchard on as assistant to provide continuity in troubled times. It was only logical that the Omerican Football Federation, in the absence of a permanent manager, hand Pritchard the job of managing Omerica’s sixth attempt at qualification. Everything should have gone wrong.

Faced with a group containing Nephara and Abanhfleft, Omerica should have been dead in the water. Instead, Omerica went on a nine-game winning run and dropped a grand total of six points in twelve qualifying matches. Despite the criticism it drew at home, Pritchard’s defence-oriented tactics threw the entire group for a loop, resulting in Omerica’s first win over Nephara in four attempts, followed by a win against the Revolutionaries in Abanhfleft. Nephara would set the record straight in Sabrefell and were handed a lifeline by Abanhfleft—who got one over on Omerica at the Arena la Rouge—, but the eventual world champions faltered, allowing Omerica to seal a famous triumph in Augusticinia.

The Cormorants, who had expected to win the group, had to go through the playoffs instead. The Revolutionaries, who considered themselves Nephara’s primary challengers for direct qualification, missed out entirely. It is a feat that Omerica have never repeated, not even under Groothuis. She would come close by navigating Omerica to the World Cup 83 playoffs, but failed to guide the Incorrigibles to a single win in three games. No other manager has even come as close as Groothuis to qualifying, let alone Pritchard.

What could have been
We’ll never truly know what could have been if the Omerican Football Federation had not collapsed so spectacularly and Pritchard had the chance to build on the positive momentum Omerica were very clearly developing. There is an alternate timeline where Omerica are making World Cup knockout runs instead of consistently struggling just to finish in the top half of qualifying groups. If events had not turned against him, it’s easy to believe that Pritchard could have turned Omerica into the team fans had always dreamed of witnessing.

Now, this is easily the weakest point in Pritchard’s favour. It’s also easy to imagine Omerica as perennial also-rans at the finals, just like Ko-oren or—worse yet—Drawkland. We’d just be that team that just show up almost every time to play three games and then bow out. We submit that even that is better than the position Omerica sit in right now.

Events ran away from Pritchard, robbing him of the momentum that is crucial to building a lasting football powerhouse and the chance to show what damage Omerica could do in the finals. Even in the midst of the OFF’s collapse, Pritchard’s Omerica side were a menace in the qualifying group stage, winning two-thirds of their games and finishing well-clear of third place. If Omerica had not been beset by a mass player boycott and cratering public interest, Pritchard’s team could have possibly batted Electrum aside to reach a second consecutive finals. After all, the playoff was already close as things were!

The Incorrigibles exist
Pritchard’s greatest legacy, however, is that the United Republics of Omerica currently has a national team to begin with. The dual traumas of the OFF’s dissolution and the Philibiscostal Bus Tipping are imprinted on the minds of every Omerican supporter who was alive to witness them in real time. Over the course of the half-decade in which Omerica was naught but a memory in international football, the debate over whether Omerica ought to put that past aside and make a return under the United Republican Soccer Federation was hard-fought.

Pritchard was the greatest advocate for the Incorrigibles in those times. It is in no small part thanks to his advocacy that we have an active national team right now, albeit one which took a hiatus long enough to expunge all the allegedly tainted OFF results from the rankings. When Omerica finally returned, the national team were now a far more egalitarian enterprise: for the first time, the likes of Frédérique Acardi, Morgan Barzetti and Lucky Ashworth could don the royal blue shirt. The Omerican Football Federation would never have countenanced such an idea. Pritchard brought Christine Salmond to the fore as his assistant manager, then the highest staff position a woman had ever achieved.

Without Pritchard, the world of international football would look very different. Omerica would not be a regular fixture in the Independent Associations Championship, let alone past winners or hosts of the competition. Anne-Sophie Groothuis would not be fighting to get West Squornshelous to the World Cup finals. We would not have the dishonour of being the first IAC titleholders to miss the quarterfinals or the first hosts to fall in the group stage. We would not be regarded as the perennial bogeymen of the World Cup Committee. Omerica would have been a name permanently lost to history.

The results Ryan achieved in his time in charge and in the face of those obstacles is not his true legacy. Ryan Pritchard’s true legacy is Omerican football itself: the purification of its soul and the resurrection of its status as Omerica’s national pastime. That is why Ryan Pritchard is the greatest manager Omerica have ever had. ◇

---

Other Football News:
• WCQ86: Omerica hold onto third place, but teeter on the edge of elimination after a wretched one-point qualifying fortnight
• CoH77: The URSF are lucky to not have a vote as two strong Cup of Harmony bids go to a World Cup Committee vote
• OPSL Gold Division: The invasion of Saltsteadish players is a harbinger of things to come in the Omerican professional game

[Kandorith]

Shinonome Kyoai - International
News From The Empire

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Lotus Warriors Back On Track

Hardship and determination is the song of the Kandorese national team who are trying to clinch a spot in the World Cup. Manager Hayabusa is determined to get Kandorith to the second spot in the group even though it would mean they have to win the upcoming crucial matches. As it stands now, the Kandorese still have a solid chance to qualify for the upcoming World Cup. The most crucial games being against Valanora and Qasden with an eight and four point difference respectively. The question is, does Hayabusa have an extra trick up his sleeve to overcome the obstacles?

Group 9                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Valanora                              13   11   2   0    46   17  +29    35
 2 Qasden                                13    9   1   3    32   20  +12    28
 3 Kandorith                             13    8   3   2    42   25  +17    27
 4 Ancherion                             13    7   3   3    33   26   +7    24
 5 Lochario                              13    7   2   4    20   18   +2    23
 6 Schottia                              13    3   3   7    12   20   −8    12 E
 7 Kencana                               13    3   3   7     5   14   −9    12 E
 8 Emastalia                             13    3   2   8    18   27   −9    11 E
 9 Solharcht Kirale                      13    2   3   8    13   33  −20     9 E
10 Glazgo                                13    0   2  11    18   39  −21     2 E

From the start of the qualifiers the Kandorese national team was off to a flying start, scoring great goals in generally good matches. Yet after the first five matches problems started to arise in the team. The squad seemed unmotivated and sometimes even looked like an amateur football team, not belonging in the World Cup qualifiers at all. For Hayabusa it meant his job and for the players; the pride of the nation and showing what they are made of. After short talks with the Kandorese Football Association it was decided a change was needed, Hayabusa would still be in charge to show the nation that he can bring this change. Shortly after the talks the match against Glazgo followed and the Kandorese won in spectacular style with five goals to one.

The current trend continues albeit shows a few bumps after the latest matches. Only winning with 1 to 0 against Schottia at home, who the Kandorese should have swept from the grounds with ease and an uneasy match against Emastalia where the Kandorese just managed to hold to a three to four victory. The national team should have dealt with these teams with relative ease and minimal effort on paper, but it is against these nations where the Kandorese team looks at their weakest. Hayabusa has blamed complacency against lower ranked teams, as they are mostly preparing for bigger games against Valanora, QQasden and Ancherion. Hopefully this is the case because if not; we give the team very little chances against the current top three of the group.

The upcoming week is crucial for the Lotus Warriors as they face Lochario and Valanora. Lochario would be a case of saving their spirit and powers to play against Valanora, who are ranked seventh in the world, but slipping up against Lochario would be a complete disaster for the team. Against Lochario the nation will have the advantage of playing in the Empress Masumi stadium, you would say, but the team has been very disappointing on the home front. The previous match resulted in a 3 - 2 defeat for the Kandorese, where they looked completely aimless and wandering. The result against Valonara however was more promising ; keeping a 3 - 3 draw against the number one of the group. The task however is either drawing or winning against Valanora in their home stadium in the upcoming days. Against Lochario, the Kandorese team has to win, not just to stay in the race for the first and second spot, but also to keep the faith of the fans of the Kandorese side who so far have been a very disappointing and lackluster side in the qualifiers.

Ken Hayabusa is hailed as one of the greatest managers of history in Kandorese football, achieving the highest ranking for the team ever and winning the Cup of Harmony. During the current qualification campaign, the former team seems to be forgotten and lost glory. Hayabusa himself has promised that changes will impact the team in the upcoming matches and a stronger, more versatile Kandorith will dominate the pitch from now on: but this remains to be seen as the current flow of the game is still disappointment. Currently the nation feels like a parent whose children aren't performing at school and show no incentive to even bring any effort to get good grades. That is what the nation is right now, a disappointed parent hoping that the national team gets back on track and shows exactly why they are ranked 39th in the entire world.

---

[Zwangzug]

The Kerlagrad Courier

Despite taking just about every possible step to render their league impenetrable to foreign scouts, the 1./ has witnessed the departure of Lissa Crain, who has signed for Baraldhur AFC in Tikariot. "We're gonna miss Lissa," frankly admitted Bernard Weil, manager of 102d Jr.s. "And, frankly, we're impressed the Baraldhur office managed to find our mailbox to drop off the contract."

The saga began when Baraldhur's boardroom was stymied by Zwangzug's lack of distinguishing among left, right, and center backs. "Yeah, I guess my predecessors used to label them when they drew up the clipboard, but I couldn't be bothered," admitted Brandon Sonnabend. As it is, Zwangzug's starting center backs are both on the old side; despite finally breaking through to the starting XI, Allison Levi-Gold is one of the longest-tenured members of this team. Sydney Stefred, always one to value the new and exciting over the old and fogeyish, might have been an unconventional choice to take the leap to a new IFCF association, but one suspects that she harbors some vestigial pride for Arlington City very deep down and would like to conclude her career as a one-club woman.

Though overwhelmingly male in composition, the Tikariot league didn't blink an eye at Crain's arrival. "I mean, I don't really want to be a trailblazer," Crain admitted, "I think in some contexts it can lead to people seeing me as a token. But hey, more diversity is good, right?"

Baraldhur persevered with negotiations despite the abject lack of any capitalist system to value our players at. "It's really no surprise people like Stefred and them stay in one place their whole careers," Sonnabend said. "I mean, trading players around willy-nilly, swapping contracts, that sounds a little too free-market for us, as well as a whole lot more effort than the 1./ can be bothered with."

Her new boardroom was satisfied with Crain's reported age of "like 24ish." "I mean, she was around in the last [World Cup] cycle, wasn't she," reminisced Weil, "which was...about two years ago? I think? And I'm pretty sure she played for some university before signing here, so I don't think she'd have been younger than 22 at the time. But why are you asking me this, I'm just the manager."

At press time, IFCF observers across the world were struggling with the notion "how is your league even good, anyway."

Elsewhere in sports:
-Lopez Principle explains how our league is even good, says Arlington Collective nerd
-Thomas Quinnipag's all-star season in Graent Grantfjord Grintfall New Quintessence of Dust
-Sarah Espin tests positive for unknown substance, "wumfish" blamed
-Itzhak Canterbury's shutout overshadowed by seven other teams recording shutouts in Group 17

(Twoni 31, Saitta 49, Munshi 70)

[Rangers FC]

The Sleepy Rangers Fan Chronicle

Following his drunken escapade last night, Sleepy Guy was heavily hungover. His forehead was also in immense pain, having had a splinter go into it. However, pain does not matter when you win - and it matters less when you win twice.

Sleepy Guy: ”So, we won twice. Again. Can you even believe it?! We, Rangers Football Club, have won two games in a row, for the second time. It’s bloody incredible!”

Sleepy Guy takes a drink of ‘Hangover Syrup’, which you and me know as ‘water’.

Sleepy Guy: ”Och aye, this water is pure brilliant! You want to know where I got it? The tap. The fucking tap. You know that tap you use to clean yer dishes and fill your kettle? Aye, that one. That’s where I got this water. It tastes just as it should...”

Sleepy Guy takes a long, drawn out sip of water, seemingly for dramatic effect.

Sleepy Guy: ”...fuck all! That’s right, it tastes of fuck all! No heroin or cocaine in this water like you have in Vdara or some other shit country, only H2O. Pure H2O. And it’s from the tap. Praise be!”

For once, Sleepy Guy wasn’t reacting to victory by getting violently drunk. This was odd, considering that getting violently drunk is the usual match celebration for every Rangers fan. In fact, most Rangers fans get violently drunk at breakfast time!

Sleepy Guy: ”So, anyhow, the matches. We played quite well, and we beat both sides by four goals to three. Need I say more? No. I do not need. I have said enough. Cheery bye!”

Sleepy Guy proceeds to drink even more water. He is enjoying the water. Leading by example, as always.

NO SURRENDER, I NEVER TOUCHED HER

[Mavinet]

© Bóng Tròn Magazine
Know Your Government – WC86 Edition: Everything hangs in a balance
by Dang Duc Tri, Associate Sports Editor

That title pretty much sums up Group 4’s top 2 race after the latest matches in the World Cup qualifying stage. A 3-way tie from second to fourth place with Mavinet unexpectedly being one of the contender for the second qualifying spot. But that’s not the only reason I came up with that title. It’s also because our focus for this issue’s Know Your Government is the agency responsible for making sure the balance of different parts of society is maintained through the administration of law. That’s right, it’s the Ministry of Justice. But before we get started on learning about the agency, for those who don’t want to read the lengthy detailed match reports and analysis on page 4, let’s briefly look back on the latest set of matches our national team played.

The first match was a direct confrontation at home with one of the top 2 contenders – New Lusitania. Mavinet looked to get a positive result from this match given the first leg away at Estádio do Conquistador ended with a resounding 2-0 victory for the Water Buffaloes. Head Coach Minh Quan employed an aggressive stance for this match since the start but was met with great resistance from the away team. The 48th-ranked team proved more experienced at shutting down Mavinese attacks this time and when the Water Buffaloes were busy looking for a way in, New Lusitania strike back with precision. André Silveira converted a dangerous counter attack in the 38th minute into a goal, and Mavinet were forced to reevaluate the game plan. Striker Vo Thanh Hai pulled the game back to square one in the 50th minute after a clever passing play with Tran Hoang Minh. Despite our best efforts to keep the game level, New Lusitania managed to grab the winning goal in the 79th minute with an unstoppable shot from outside the box of Sérgio Azinheira. Mavinet fell to fourth after the loss and had a 2-point gap to close with Terre Septentrionale at third place.

Luckily, that gap would be closed in a dramatic second set of matches. Mavinet went to last place Hwiccemark for what was expected to be a comfortable win. It was anything but. The Water Buffaloes knew too well by then to not make light of any opponent, given what happened at home with Unimon in the first half of qualifiers. Mavinet had an early goal in the 17th minute thanks to the outburst of speed and technique from right back Le Luong Minh, but then struggled to find another opening for the rest of the first half. The difficulty carried on to the second half and was only relieved in the 69th minute after Vu Tien Linh luckily arrived at the right moment to capitalize on a rebound from the Hwiccemark’s goalkeeper. The Water Buffaloes had a scare when Hwiccemark pulled one back with 6 minutes to full time, but no heartbreak was made. Mavinet came away with 3 vital points to stay in the race, which took a turn when New Lusitania were held to a draw at Sharktail’s, while Terre Septentrionale fell to the might of Nephara. The three team now tie on 24 points, and the rest of the qualifying stage will be much more interesting to watch from now on.

For those who do want to read more about the matches and learn the technical side, head to page 4 for detailed match reports and football analysis offered by my colleague Pham Ngoc Le.

Headquarter of the Ministry of Justice

In this issue, we focus on the Ministry of Justice, another of the Original Six ministries. It is responsible for the administration of our justice system, including the national law enforcement agency (not to be confused with the police force managed by the Ministry of the Interior), the prosecutors, and the correctional system (aka prisons). The Ministry also maintains records of existing statutes, propose modification or removal of legislations and act as the legal representative of the government.

We were unable to meet with any official from the Ministry, so instead of the usual interview transcript, we will be looking at one of the most asked questions (looked up by my colleagues): since the court also deal with the law (or the potential breaking of it), does the Ministry of Justice also manage the court system? This is one of the common misunderstanding with regard to the government and its branches. So here is your short explanation, and hopefully easier to understand than some other technical sources out there.

The answer is no, the Ministry of Justice does not manage the court system despite both being parts of the justice system. The Ministry of Justice is an executive agency, which means its purpose is to “execute” the laws passed by the National Council (the legislative branch). How does it do that? By maintaining a database of all passed statutes, studying the effects of laws on society, investigating criminal activities, prosecute violators in criminal cases and enforce court decisions (prisons, appropriation of properties etc.).

The court system, on the other hand, belongs to the judicial branch. The primary purpose of the court system is to settle disputes. In simple disputes, court can provide resolution or mediation to the parties. In more complex cases (usually criminal or constitutional), the court also interpret the law and apply that interpretation to the facts in specific cases. In Mavinet, the courts can interpret the law but cannot create precedent for future cases, which means the only source of law to refer to in future cases is the statutes passed by the legislative branch.

In short, the Ministry of Justice and the court system are two separate entities; each has its own authority and domain within the justice system. In practice, the Ministry of Justice and the court system work on a lot more than just criminal investigation and are both parts of a system of checks and balances, but that will be a topic for another day.

This will be one of the shorter articles in the series. As the World Cup qualifying stage is winding down to the final home stretch, we are also looking at the end of this special journey through the boring but essential government system. The next round of matches will see Mavinet playing Sharktail and Unimon, two opponents that should not pose too big of a challenge for the Water Buffaloes. 6 points should be possible but the team must be ready to battle with 200% of their abilities. We will see you next time and until then, don’t break the law!

---

MD12

MAVINET - 1
50' Vo Thanh Hai

NEW LUSITANIA - 2
38' André Silveira
79' Sérgio Azinheira

MD13

HWICCEMARK - 1
84' ???

MAVINET - 2
17 'Le Luong Minh
69' Vu Tien Linh

[Ziwana]

Part Five

HOW WE WON THE

4TH CMFA CUP

By Charles Payen, Jean Wilder and Abdulaziz Haqawi

The group games

Ziwana 2 - 1 Havynwilde

CHARLES PAYEN

sign! Not our finest, we did not perform well in this much. We new Havynwilde was going to be a challenge due to their players being based in teams outside the Melayu Archipelago but did not expect to be outplayed.

JEAN WILDER

Multiverse football is very demanding and challenging. For player to feature in strong multiverse club they must be good as they get to play against super humans, mutant horses and cyborgs. Most of Havynwilde's players were based outside the Melayu region that is why we expected a challenging match. We had played on the multiverse level before and impressed so we weren't expecting to be outplayed. Havynwilde had more possession and shots on the goal than us.

ABDULAZIZ HAQAWI

The first goal for Havynwilde came in the first 5 minutes of the game after Ashton Houston slide home a Leon Davis cross. For the rest of the first half they just dominated, in connecting passes, winning set pieces and having shots on target. I did not feel like myself, I picked a yellow card after making a bad challenge on Leon Davis and overall performed badly. The fans were really upset at our performance. At half time we got the hair dryer treatment from our manager, he was so angry. He substituted me for Hashaan Casimir. Hashaan had originally been a starter at the right wing position but was quickly dropped after having bad performances. My thought at the moment as I was substituted was that this was me being dropped permanently as a starter as had happened with Casimir.

JEAN WILDER

I saw his face and assured him everything was going to be alright. Abdulaziz is still a kid and has low composure, he easily loses it in tough situations. I had talked with Casimir before, i told him if he was given a chance to take it and impress the manager. He was a great player but very inconsistent. During this game he showed the manager his worth. He scored a beautiful goal in the 65 minute after taking advantage of a Zenon-Gerol Kal mistake. Zenon-Gerol Kal had made a dreadful back-pass which the young winger intercepted and blasted the ball into the net to equalize. It was a long time coming, the feelings of frustration just drained from our bodies. We were motivated to play very well but their defence would allow us to take a shot. It took up to the 88th minute to breakdown their defence. Casimir had launched a counter-attack after lobbing the ball forward, I picked it up passed it to him near the half way line to avoid their defenders and run forward. He then crossed it and I got to the ball blasting it into the goal to give us the win. I was honestly happy with the win, we might have not performed as well but we got the job done. We just had to learn from our mistakes.

CHARLES PAYEN

The media really criticized us for our performance rightly so but it became too much. The rumours and negative speculations for why we didn't perform very well in the match.

JEAN WILDER

Some news outlets had the audacity to claim that the national team had deliberately played badly so that Havynwilde would also qualify for the knockout stages. I hate such coverage, it is never helpful to the team.

[Sulsuland]

*Its a lovely day at Dave’s Mom’s house. a completely modern suburban home stuck straight in the middle of Sulsuland, with the neighboring homes ranging anywhere from small little coves of mud to even some relatively well made tents, all of which house a Sulsu or more.*

*A group of about three Sulsu show up carrying a car over their heads and place it outside of Dave’s Mom’s house, they get out some old looking camera equipment that looks like it had been sitting at the bottom of a lake for a month, and lock the doors of the car.*

*The trio runs behind the home with their equipment and sets up shop, with one sulsu holding an old muddy camera that is missing its lens, another sulsu holding a boom mic attatched to an actual stick, which if the camera were rolling, you are sure would be in every shot, and the final Sulsu holding another mic upside down in his hand, unaware of the redundancy of two mics*

*like before, televisions across the globe begin to flicker and turn pitch black before airing the Sulsu broadcast*

“HelLo FrieNds, ThiS iS suLsu frOm ChaNneL 5 rePorTinG behiNd DaVe’S moM’s HousE. DonT asK whaT HappEn tO the oTheR ChaNnEls. tHe StudiO wanTed inTerviEwS wiTh ThE teaM thATs GoinG to wIn suLsulanD a cUp BiG enoUgh To HolD thE woRlD in iT! SulsU can’T EvEn iMaGIne CuP ThaT biG!” *The Sulsu holding a mic in front of the camera explains before they go off to interview various Sulsu’s around the house, which are nearly impossible to tell apart from one another*

*The interviews go about as well as expected when there are two Sulsu’s talking to eachother, as things mostly devolved into fish based gibberish*

*The crew are interviewing the last Sulsu* “so Mr SulSu, WhaT Do YoU saY tO ThE aCCusaTionS oF yoU beiNg a WaLnuT?” *asks the interviewing Sulsu*

“whaT?? WhO saId SulSU iS a WaLnuT? thEy ClearLY nOt MeN oF CulTurE, maYbe THEY thE WalNuT.” *the Sulsu on the team responds angrily*

“SulSu AgreE.” *comments the interviewer* “suLsu knOw wherE daVe iS? laSt FrieNd whO nEeD to InterView.”

“oH, MaYbE is ThaT CreEpY guY doInG shaDY ThinGS OvEr TherE?” *responds the Sulsu on the team*

*The crew looks over and notices a strange looking man in a trench coat with a large collar to cover his features along with a overly sized hat to hide his face using a pepper grinder to cover the backyard home games are played in with pepper. Two of the Sulsu team members approach the man curiously. The man pulls out two fish to give to each Sulsu and hands them each a pepper grinder, and they both get to work*

*The crew of Sulsu heads over to interview the strange man*

“hEllO FrieNd, SulSu wiTh cHannEl 5 HerE. donT ask WhaT haPpeN to OthEr chanNelS. SulSu wouLd liKe to Know, arE yoU DavE?” *The interviewing Sulsu asks*

*The strange figure silently looks over his shoulder at the Sulsu, making sure not to let his face be seen, and slowly reaches for something on the inside of his trenchcoat.*

*The man then happily responds* “Oh, me? Oh I’m just a proffessional creepy guy who stands around and does shady things!” *The man hands Sulsu a business card advertising his business of standing around creepily and doing shady things*

“Speaking of doing shady things though.” *the man grinds some pepper in the interviewing Sulsu’s face causing him to sneeze*

*The television broadcast begins to flicker and static, between the static a faint image can be seen, and words and sentences can occasionally be heard coming from the pair*

“World cup**********Sulsuitis**********total control*********” *these are the only words that can be heard coming from the television while it is flickering.*

*the screen suddenly flickers back, giving clear image and audio, and a message can be heard from the interviewing Sulsu*

“Yes, the only thing that’s needed to complete our plans is - ACHOO” *The interviewing Sulsu explains before he is cut off by his own sneeze*
“HanG oN, SulSu SmeLl a FisH oVeR thEre!” *the camera drops to the ground and the final image on the screen before turning back to normal is of the Sulsu tv crew running off to find a fish to eat*

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 86 Qualifiers

A MISSED OPPORTUNITY
Matchdays 12 & 13 Review:
Mavinet 1-2 New Lusitania (Thang Long Stadium, Dai Hoa - Att: 47 935)
New Lusitania 0-0 Sharktail (Estádio da Ria, Aveiro - Att: 40 725)

On the road again, New Lusitania now had the chance to play Mavinet, another team which had contributed for the team's slow start. Now having to receive the Selecção, there was plenty of motivation on both sides as this was a direct confrontation for the coveted runners-up spot. Patríce in goal with Vinagrete, Leiteiro and Pedralva in defence. Horta, Luis Miguel, Fernando and Gama took up the midfield with Veiga, Jota and Silveira forming the forward trio. Mavinet used their usual 4-2-1-3 with the home side playing in their home crimson kit and New Lusitania resorting to its away white and blue strip. The ball was now rolling in Mavinet's capital and the fans were in for a tactical game as both sides paced themselves in the first instances of the game. New Lusitania would take practically the entirety of the first half to even have a serious attempt. The second half was a bit more cooperative with a goal in the immediate seconds after its commencement. Veiga back with another goal hailing from another Horta assist, sticking his leg out and sliding it in to the back of the net.
Almost into the seventy minutes mark, fans and viewers got to saw a really great piece of ball interchangeability where Hai and Haang were really challenging the opposition and successfully got it in in what was a commendable piece of football, which shows why they're in the position they are. With stoppages already on the horizon, it would be Daniel Jota to score the winner from a corner. Gama coming in with another assist and the the volley coming in following the control of the ball as he rolled away in celebration for what was the winning moment of the match, one that was hard earned and crucial.
Moving back home to end the break, the Selecção faced the known faces of Sharktail. Two changes as António Lopes returns as goalkeeper and Azinheira returns in the place of Luís Miguel. The city of Aveiro was ready for its return to the Selecção's Internationals in this game against the Sharks. A game of a lot of bait but few luck with goals, it resulted in a goalless draw. The best Lusitanian chances came from a post hit by Jota and a good shot from Fernando. Overall a disappointing 0-0, but it was still one more point on the board.
So after thirteen matches, the Minarchists and Hwiccemark are confirmed as eliminated following another two defeats each. Unimon's defeat to Damukuni (2-0) last night put the nation in eighth with Havynwilde now seventh after a win to the Minarchists. Sharktail's defeat and a draw leaves them sixth with sixteen points and Damukuni's recent form has managed to put them up to fifth. Things get really interesting above them as, in ascending order, Mavinet, Terre Septentrionale and New Lusitania are all on the same points (24) following Nephara's 6-3 victory to Terre Septentrionale. The Selecção are currently second but the goalless draw was a missed opportunity to go two points ahead of the other contenders. Nephara of course remain with all their points in first on 39 and an impressive 47 goals scored. The next two matches are what make the situation complicated however, in November we see Nephara at the Jamor in what most consider a practically certain defeat even if the Lusitanians still have hope to do the impossible with the following game at Havynwilde a must win. Mavinet meanwhile host Sharktail who New Lusitania hopes can do some damage as Terre Septentrionale expect a win at home with Havynwilde themselves. In the second matchday the Northmen travel to a dangerous Damukuni with Mavinet going to Unimon. All is possible in a Qualifying cycle where it's all about who can withstand the pressure and rise up. All is open and we all need to wait and see.

(Excerpt of) Jornada with Pedro M. Ferreira, Rui Lourosa and António Soares.

PF: So after a great night of International football, the final one in this break, I am once more joined by Rui Lourosa and António Soares. So, what did you make of New Lusitania's performance this time around?
AS: Honestly, we did see them get shakey sometimes. The way Mavinet scored that goal showed that in a counter-attacking situation the defence can very easily be caught out and it's just a weakness they're going to need to cover well.
RL: Overall true, but I think this cycle's defence team has to be given credit because in those first five games they saved a very unprepared team some more hassle and it could be a lot worse. I think we should also look at the forwards, we're seeing very few goals scored in this cycle.
PF: Now that you talk about it, António, is this a result of an ageing frontline?
AS: It could be Pedro, but both are still doing well. We've seen a very inconsistent tactic usage, we've seen 4-3-3s, 3-5-2s, 4-4-2s so it's been a cycle of experimentation and I'm not sure if it's worked out for the best. It worked alright in the IAC, but I genuinely think the tests should have been done in friendlies in the run up to the World Cup in which we had one. At the same time, it's kept in working order with some of the newer people, Guilherme Paciência for example which has been slowly getting more game time and is taking his chances.
RL: I do think that no matter how you look at it we're seeing a lot of newer players being called up this year, we've had Palhagueira, João Cabral, Guerra, Luis Miguel, Ferradura and It's been good to see, most have impressed decently.
PF: One of these players we saw tonight in Aveiro, the inclusion of Trincal who played a good half hour. What's your take on him?
RL: I mean, Pedro, he does show promise, he had a good season at Bracarense but I don't think he's quite ready to go to a bigger side and the possible transfer to Sevilha or Canterford Sport Club in Legandia is questionable if it's done because I'm not sure if he'd get the same play time.
AS: We saw it tonight, Rui, I'm not really sure he added a lot to the game as was expected of him. It was a major gamble and unfortunately it didn't pay off.
PF: When you consider tonight's performance, what can we say about the team, about what's coming?
AS: Honestly, I'm hoping we can play a bit better because the team didn't seem like they were as present as they had been in the previous games - it's a shame considering the position we were in and it might be one of those games that could cost a Country.
RL: Defence once again did their job right to the last minute but we keep seeing troubles up front this time and I'm not sure why. In this case, the opposition really studied the team they were up against and really used those flanks to try and close the team up which is something we don't usually see, so very well done there.
PF: Well, up next it's down to area of the capital as we host the top spot's Nephara. We then have a game in Havynwilde. Takes on this?
RL: Well I think the fans and team should pray for one, we've seen the Nepharans tear some of the best teams in the group completely apart, we saw them beat the Northmen 6-3. Secondly, that defence is really going to have to act as a wall. I'm expecting also Azinheira to play, act as a fourth defender but also an attacking piece on the counter.
AS: It'll be a hard one for sure we're going to need all the mistakes and help we can get. It's very, very complicated to take a point let alone a win against a team like them and frankly I don't see it happening. After that we have a match against Havynwilde and it's one of those that it's just a must win, you can't settle for anything else considering the position the Selecção are in.
RL: Well at the moment, Soares, we're hoping for mistakes from Mavinet and Terre Septentrionale whilst we focus on winning our matches because it's starting to look like a possible failure for New Lusitania again.
AS: Ah hopefully we can at least make it to the playoff, we have a team capable for that and it's easy to lose points against any team in the group and we're just hoping some of our adversaries do exactly that.
PF: Well that's all the time we have for this, this week we return with Domestic football with the return of the league here on STL but be sure to tune in during the next break for the Selecção and The best of the world cup. We leave you with the best of the round's games as António and Rui say goodnight and it's also a goodnight from me. Goodnight.


Goals> Silveira (5), Veiga (4), Jota (4) Paciência (3), Fernando (3), Gama (2), Palhagueira (1), Guerra (1),


----
STL
Official Broadcasters of the World Cup.
Follow the Selecção's road here!
MMXX (in association with FLF)

[Tioguldos]

A peek into the surprising and vast ecosystem of the terraces of a Tiog stadium
Anthology of the Patagonian Congress of Crappy Journalism and Unnecessarily Long Names, volume 3

It's possible to find strong nuances among the Tiogs. There are no dichotomies in Tioguldós, everything is chaos, everything is gray. Diversity is what gives identity to the great cultural melting pot that is this nation. By force of will the Tiogs had to learn to agree. There are few things the Tiogs can agree on without fiery debates. They boast of their democracy, not because of their ability to agree, but because of their ability to capitalize on disagreement.
However, there is one thing that unites all Tiogs. An aspect of their daily life that manages to represent each one, from the most sober and professional to the most outgoing and partying. A concept that manages to represent all their diversity at once: when they go to matches, they're all as nutty as a fruitcake.



In order to have a better understanding of the oddly-picturesque plurality of shapes and styles present on the terraces of a Tiog stadium, we have sent a group of football ecologists to present us with a specimen of each species. Our specialists wandered the terraces of Ísupe Stadium during the Tioguldós vs HUElavia match, conducting short interviews and creating a characteristic profile of each one. Addressing such richness is not an easy task, and we estimate that at least three major and twelve minor species were not documented.

The kiosogú

The word 'kiosogú' is translated from Tiog as 'wannabe'. During amateurism they did not exist. They appeared when the matches began to be broadcast on TV. They usually go to stadiums with their friends, but they never quite fit in. For them, being a fan is about buying merchandise, and they are not ashamed of it. You can recognize them from leagues away because they are the only ones dressed in full kit.

Hi there. Enjoying the match?

"Yeah! Go Red Army! Am I right?"

Mhm... SO, what do you think about Oroso's performance today?

Who?

The dingare

The term 'dingare' refers to jail. The dingare is an ex-con, or they escaped. They have their own customs and ideals, and they defend them to the death. The criminal situation has been changing since the Revolution, and crime is slowly decreasing. However, the dingare exist, and they are one of the main participants in football in Tioguldós. They draw attention for their impressive contrast between unbridled love for the team and irrepressible hatred for the rival. They are the ones who are going to beat you up if you ask for trouble in a Red Army match.

Hey there. How is it going guys? Are you having a good time?

"OH COME ON! MO POSKHO FA DI LOFRA!... Hi gemifa, come here."

*They grab the interviewer by the arm and lead them into the tumult of the crowd*

"TIO-GUL-DÓS! GE'LEL NU PEROLÉS!

The nazbol scum

They have appeared in recent times and are particularly despicable. They say "love the motherland", but they hate everything that represents the Tiog ideology. They just want an excuse to be nationalists.

*Spits on the floor while passing by them*

The so-Tiog-it-hurts

Every Tiog has at least some of the characteristics of the so-Tiog-it-hurts, but they themselves are an amalgam of stereotypes. Talking to a so-Tiog-it-hurts can be difficult even for a local. The amount of regional terms, compound words, and language distortions they display in everyday speech borders on the absurd. These extraordinary organisms are willing to go out of their way to help you, but the last thing they want is to have a chat with you. And even if you do manage to engage in a conversation with one of them, chances are that you won't understand anything at all.

Hello man, sorry for the interruption. What do you think of the team today?

"Hello, khogés. De'drespu? They're playing well, I think. Oroso is pa nopo khulbokh, huh?

Yeah... Sure. And what do you think about coach Mebal?

"Oh he is is-fuldusde. Simply a drealne in every sense of the word. Right, xaru?

Josip Broz Tito

Josip Broz Tito is a fan of Tioguldós.

The native alien

The native alien is a rare sight. They move in groups and are the living materialization of their own delusion. They are not fans of any Tiog team, and they don't know any of the chants. They also don't like football, they go to watch the match just to post the photo on Instabook. What they dislike most about football is that everyone around them likes it.

Hello guys, sorry to bother.

*One of them looks up from the phone*

So, are you having a good time?

"Yeah, I guess."

*The Red Army scores and they all start typing frantically*

The minstrel

What would football be like in Tioguldós without them? The vast majority of fans sing, but only the minstrels spend the ninety minutes without stopping. They don't just sing and play their instruments. They also pressure other fans to join them. If you ask them, not singing is almost a betrayal of the team.

"BER ALE CHE DA PUARE FOR! TIOGULDÓS NU PEROLUÉS!"

Hey, sorr-

"CHE DA LUKE O DEFOKH BORDEKH!"

I'm sorry. Do yo-

"KROLUOKH BER LOMUR POSBAÉN!"

The true vanguard

The Tioguldós fans are known as 'The Vanguard' of the Red Army. One of the most common species within The Vanguard is the true vanguard. These fans are extremely passionate. They love their nation, their People's Republic, and their people. They are fans of their teams, but the day the national team plays they go to the match to cheer without exception. The Red Army is a very important part of their lives.

What a match, huh? How's it going guys, are you having a good time?

"Yes, it is amazing! They are the best team in the tournament!"

Oh well haha. Who's your favorite player?

Oroso, man! Obviously. He's our commander!"

*They raise their left fist in the air and begin to chant along with the crowd*

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Bees slipping into danger zone
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail National Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth National Team find themselves in an unaccustomed spot with two thirds of the Word Cup Qualifiers complete and three away matches left to negotiate.

Following the 1-0 defeat against Mercedini, BP can ill-afford to drop any further points if they want to take the automatic qualification spot of Group 18 as winners, as they now sit 3 points behind Savojarna—the next opponent—and three ahead of Mercedini, who now hold the tie-breaker against the Bees.

The group runner-up would also dodge the bullet at having to survive a playoff if it's one of the top 6 point earners, a prospect that looks likely for whichever side finishes second in this group, but the margin of error for the Bees has narrowed considerably for controlling their own destiny.

Of the remaining five opponents, Baker Park were only able to record 1 goal wins during the first half of the tournament; at times the offense has looked stuck in neutral and unfortunate timing of errors in the defensive third have come at inopportune moments.

The return to President's Park for the match against Murphtannia provided a spark of inspiration that saw BP roll to a 4-2 victory, however the sense of frustration among the core squad remains palpable; while no one came into the campaign thinking that it would an easy ride to Newmanistan & Drawkland, neither did they expect inconsistent effort and breakdowns in elements that have been the key to success for years.

[Riennic Isles]

The Riena Sentinel

---

WCQ 86 - Matchdays 12 and 13 recap
Six points a welcome ray of light in a dispiriting cycle

---

Qualifying for the World Cup is an unforgiving task, and this latest edition of the multiverse's premier football tournament has proved to be no exception. With a total of 180 teams jostling for just 30 spots at the World Cup finals in Newmanistan and Drawkland, the battle for a ticket to the finals - or at the very least a spot in the lottery of the playoffs - promises to be as competitive as it always has been, and this is of course true of Riena's Group 12. It's just a shame that we can no longer realistically count ourselves as serious contenders for one of the top two spots in the group, thanks to some truly deflating performances early in qualifying.

Despite Riena's subdued form throughout these qualifiers, we've shown our quality in flashes, and in staving off the challenges posed by the Grearish Union and Ziwana, the Wavelets have served up a timely reminder of the talent within the ranks. The former match saw us welcome our Esportivan neighbours to the Radiant Sands Arena in Nagato. There has been a lot of talk about how the sand surface at the Radiant Sands Arena would be a unique obstacle for visiting teams, and this match showed the difficulties that they would have to contend with on an unfamiliar surface. The Grearish Union struggled to adapt to the sand and looked less than surefooted throughout the ninety minutes. To their credit, Riena exploited their opponents' discomfort as best they could, producing an efficient performance en route to sealing a 2-0 win.

Playing an ultra-attacking 4-2-4 formation in a significant departure from manager Kanata Shiranami's previous tactical set-ups, Riena moved the ball across the sand in a practised and controlled manner, leaving their opponents chasing shadows. With the focus clearly on maximising our advantage on the sand, the team's game plan appeared to focus on a combination of quickfire passing and slick attacking movement. It was a rapid series of passes that bisected the Grearish Union in half for our first goal - Cocoa Haneda and Hijiri Sakuranami exchanging a series of quick passes down the left before the left winger put the ball on a plate for Aya Nakiri to open the scoring. The second goal was almost a carbon copy of the first, Arisu Mano making a late run into the area to get on the end of a low cross from Hinata Yukihana out on the right.

The Grearish Union were dispatched relatively easily, but Riena had next to no time to dwell on the win. With a trip to Ziwana looming on the horizon, there was no room for complacency - especially as the Akambuku from the Melayu Archipelago had already come up trumps in our previous meeting at the Wavelet Arena. But fortunately for us, the Wavelets banished memories of that dispiriting loss, ending on the right side of a 5-4 scoreline as both teams served up a feast of attacking football. Shiranami declined to tinker with the formation which had won Riena their last game, and for his part Ziwani manager Jean Ndimvera Wilder stuck with the same attacking 4-3-3 that he has employed throughout these qualifiers. Both teams indicated a willingness to throw caution to the wind with their tactical set-ups, and the scoreline reflected the attacking abandon which characterised the game.

The floodgates opened early on in the first half, courtesy of Abdulaziz Haqawi's sweetly struck effort from the edge of the area. Riena looked shaky after going behind as the overworked midfield pivot of Sakuranami and Ishibashi struggled to cope with the demands placed on them, and it seemed inevitable that Ziwana would add to their lead. They duly did so after Jonathan Ah Fok found the corner of Miho Minato's net from a corner. To their credit, Riena managed to take the sting out of the game after going 2-0 down, and they were able to rediscover the fluency in attack that has been one of the hallmarks of this Riena team. Ishibashi halved the deficit with a dipping shot from range, and Flare Steiner brought Riena back on level terms soon after, getting ahead of Jonathan Boi to poke home.

Steiner's goal was the last kick of a fiercely contested first half, and the second half continued in much the same vein as the first had ended. Again it was Steiner who did the damage. The winger was sent clear by Ishibashi's penetrating pass, and looked set to score - until she was brought down by Jean Kane inside the area. The referee needed no encouragement to point to the spot, and Rion Kanzaki obliged, stepping up to drill home a powerful penalty that left the goalkeeper with no chance. With their noses in front, Riena's tails were up, and they pinned the Akambuku back in their defensive third with an unrelenting high press - but the suicidal abandon with which they poured forwards was always likely to be punished by a team with pace on the counter, and it was perhaps no surprise that they were caught cold by Charles Payen's goal on the break.

As the game crept into its dying minutes, you might have expected both teams to settle for a point, but the players clearly had other ideas. A Riena overload had the Ziwana defence scrambling to track Cocoa Haneda, who slalomed down the left flank with all the carefree abandon of a frolicking filly before cutting inside to spank home past Kane with her weaker right foot. But barely a minute after Haneda had given Riena the lead, the Wavelets found themselves pegged back again. The veteran winger Jean Aristide, on as a substitute, combined with Mohammed Al-Dossari to prise the Riena rearguard apart. As the ball was delivered into the area, Minato was a touch too slow in coming out to claim, and Jean-Marc Mourgine stole ahead of her to nod the ball into an empty net.

At this point, both teams had already scored four goals apiece to make for a remarkable scoreline - but there was to be one final twist to a quite remarkable game of football. Once again, it was a substitute who played an integral part. The defensive midfielder Mishiro Kawakaze, who had been brought on for Tomoe Ishibashi moments before Mourgine's equaliser, is by no means a prolific goalscorer, but she showed all the hunger and desire of a striker, barreling into the heart of the Ziwani area to produce a bullet header in the final minute of stoppage time to win a heart-stopping encounter for Riena.

With thirteen matches played and five matches left in this campaign, the six points against the Grearish Union and Ziwana puts us in a more respectable position in Group 12. With a tally of twenty-one points, we're in fourth. But don't let our position in the table distract you from the reality of the situation. We find ourselves a staggering nine points behind surprise leaders Trolleborg, who have been steamrollering the rest of the group with a stupendous run of form, and eight points behind the Hinodejin Empire, who have been going about their business with an understated efficiency. We're also four points behind Taeshan, who - despite a newfound fragility in their famed defence - still look the best placed to gatecrash the top two.

Let's be realistic. Painful as it is to admit, Riena aren't going to challenge for a place at the World Cup finals this cycle. No team worth their salt can drop five points against an unranked team and still expect to beat out some of the multiverse's powerhouses for a qualifying spot. What's important is that Riena take some valuable lessons from what has been a disheartening campaign. Even if we won't be in the conversation for qualification come the final matchday, we can still end our campaign on a positive note. With matches against the Hinodejin Empire and Taeshan still to come, here's hoping the Wavelets can give a good account of themselves in the last five matches, finish the campaign on a high and take what momentum we can muster into the Cup of Harmony.

[Huayramarca]

Part 1., Part 2., Part 3., Part 4., Part 5., Part 6., Part 7., Part 8., Part 9.

Rewind.

Part 10., Part 11., Part 12., Part 13., Part 14 A., Part 14 B, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21

Ñucanchi Ñan - Part 22.

Illimani National Park, Huayrasuyo Department. - 24/04/1980 - 5:19 P.M.

The trigger was released by the sharpshooter, who saw how the bullet was crossing the air, it was a distance of 825 meters from the little him to where Mina was located, it felt like an eternity for the shooter, he was sweating hard and crossing fingers that the bullet would reach the desired spot, Mina’s head. It took a couple of seconds, the bullet penetrated deep into Mina’s knee, trespassing it and making him fall down, prostrated while screaming in pain. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh” was listened while people turned to see what was happening, Alan screamed “Get away from him, he has a bomb!” While people retreated even more on fears of Alan’s suspicions would be true.

Mina decided to provoke panic by getting his shirt off and revealing what he had attached to his body, it was a packet with C4 explosives, Alan said “Get the hell out of here!” Marta asked why and Alan said “No time for questions, you’ll thank me for it later.” While everybody ran to seek refuge, a random hotel owner appeared from behind in a nothing-to-loss attitude, took a knife and decided to backstab Mina thrice, at that moment, a sharpshooter aimed and shot right at Mina’s heart, falling down without activating the detonation mechanism attached to his body. People decided to take their smartphones out of their pockets and started to write on social media like Twii.tur and E-Quipu “Mina’s now rotting in hell” while adding hashtags such as “#RevoluciónCiudadana” (Citizens Revolution) a phrase coined in a popular song whose lyrics were made by Juan Quispe, a popular artist in Huayramarca with collaboration of several artists from different Huayramarcan cities.

As soon as the situation happened, Mina’s bodyguard appeared and tossed a couple of grenades against the people located there while screaming “This is not over!”, who were celebrating the death of Hugo Mina… One of the hotels owner’s militia members saw the bodyguard, and tried to get close to him. The bodyguard was thinking about the chance to drill the Illimani National Park and now getting the complete portion of money, since Mina was now dead, he tried to use that chance and went desperate to claim it, he didn’t consider that there were people behind him. He decided to take his assault rifle to shoot against the people, but somebody put a bullet at his head, a bullet coming from a Glock 9mm carbine, shooting him to death and now controlling the situation completely in favor of Ñucanchi Ñan.

The grenades were activated before being thrown away, Alan saw them coming too late and didn’t managed to avoid death, he jumped in a desperate last second attempt, a grenade exploded at his leg and pain was enough to cause his death and from a couple of persons, around six more persons which included five more soldiers who where accompanying Alan. When everything was settled down, Buendía approached to the scene and saw Alan in agony saying “Please, pleasure my memory by turning Huayramarca into a better place for everybo…” Alan’s head fell to the ground, his body was now unresponsive, Buendía said “Alan Bustamante, brave soldier of the Huayramarcan nation, may your soul live forever in our cause.” While crying. Ana was close to the scene, she was injured on her mouth due to a fragmentation of the grenade, she was lucky enough to be alive, she was shocked while seeing Alan dead, even more shocking when she found out that she stepped in his leg, that was enough to see how she fainted due to the magnitude of the scene for her.

News were crossing Huayramarca like the wind, people in Sechura, where everything started were now aware of the situation, the party started there and lasted for days, since Mina was particularly harsh against them, Selváticos, on his politics due to exclusion and more discriminatory ideas that he spread against people from that area. The Palacio del Altiplano was jampacked with people celebrating that happenings, also, a couple of people decided to take the palace for the leaders of Ñucanchi Ñan, so they could exert power as soon as possible and begin a process of return to political normality with new elections; It was now a duty that Ñucanchi Ñan had to do, but it had to wait due to the injuries caused by the grenades thrown by Mina’s last standing bodyguard.

Ambulances were coming to the Illimani National Park, a lot of paramedical stuff was helping out injured people, also, taking the corpses out of the place and moving those to the Huayramarcan Forensics Institute located in Miraflores, the poshest neighborhood of the Huayramarcan Distrito Metropolitano. There was a lot of things to consider now, since the power transition wouldn’t be that easy, there might be some Mina supporters coming to claim power succession, something that wouldn’t be tolerated by the Huayramarcan society after one and a half year of repression and badly implemented politics, thing that needed to be sort by some of the contacts that Alan left to Augusto Buendía.

Buendía took his phone and called one army representative to ask for the capture of several members of Mina’s cabinet and the president of the Huayramarcan Parliament to avoid another takeover of power from them. Police found those people and decided to send them to jail, with apparent charges of “Crimes against humanity, power abuse, corruption” and several others that wouldn’t let them take power that easy. Aside from them, there wasn’t even a remote chance of other people trying to brutally take the power soon, hence, it’d be enough time to let the Ñucanchi Ñan people to recover from their injuries.

Reactions were mixed in some parts of Huayramarca, the Coast was one of those, there wasn’t an unanimous thinking about Mina’s death, instead, there was a noticeable and also noisy minority of people considering that it was a violation to the Huayramarcan democratic principles, and also, a display of racism from Serranos against Costeños, a point of view that wasn’t that healthy and might be somewhat risky for those people who would strive for Huayramarcan unity. Still, there is a somewhat interesting situation looming around, Marta and Buendía had guaranteed the support from Selva and Sierra, but Costa plays also an important role in terms of voters for a potential election, there was a loop of power from Costeños that would be somehow important for the elections, who will be the anointed personality by the Costeño elite? That’s something about to be known by people, or will the elite be frightened by the chance of seeing another assassination happening? Perhaps the fact of picking a bad candidate was taking a toll in their reputation as representatives of an important region?

There is, in fact, a lot of factors to be taken into the new Huayramarcan political scenario, there’s a quite important power vacuum available. The once deemed “inoffensive” Serranos had demonstrated that they are everything except inoffensive, while Selváticos had proven that they might be vital in order to settle down a campaign of confrontation between Serranos and Costeños by the fact of being more neutral, although, a bit more sided towards Serranos.

Some couple of days later, Mina’s family decided to bury down his once-beloved one into a private graveyard at the outskirts of Guayaquil, near the upper-class neighborhood of Samborondón. People with a noticeable or apparent look of a classical Costeño elitist society member were closely following the solemn acts, meanwhile, some other people appeared to interrupt the funeral and decided to extort the invitees, also, robbed some jewelry put on Mina’s coffin in order to make some extra income. That also showed that Mina’s degree of social respect wasn’t the best one, to the contrary, he was being disrespected even dead, their family members were furious, but that fury wasn’t able to turn things back into time, enough to prevent him to take the role of president.

Her brothers and sisters were flashbacking on their minds, speaking at the funeral how Mina’s parents tried to keep his son away from politics, since that would be a harm from him rather than a real benefit for the country and his family.

[Valanora]

There was a growing unrest in the populace as the Senate was dragging its feet on announcing the coronation of Lathwen Raynor as the Empress of the Eternal Empire. With the documents and her boodline verified, it was the common thought that there should be no reason not to allow the Raynors to once more ascend to the throne that they shaped and fashioned. It was the Raynor family after all that had facilitated the creation of the nation in the first place, forged the loose alliance of tribes, cities, and petty kingdoms into an actual nation. It was the Raynors who had defended Valanora with their own blood from the threats that had come her way, the most recent being the false Calling and before that the drow uprising that threatened to disrupt the Vanorian way of life. If is was not the Raynors who had ultimate claim to the throne, even if this lady was not a direct descendant from the same line as Tobias Raynor, then who truly had that right, who were they to decide who had the ultimate claim to the power of the Eternal Empire? If not the Raynors, then no one had that right, no one had the right to hold such power.

Even the distraction of the national football team was not doing much to keep the populace in check, to keep them from focusing their attention from the deliberations of the Senate and on the football team. It is not because the Marauders are doing poorly, quite the opposite in fact, the Marauders are doing splendidly and are trotting ahead of the rest of the group. Group 9 was looking to be a bit tricky at the halfway point, with the Marauders only having a slight lead in the table despite having been unbeaten through the first half of the Qualifiers. The side has maintained that unbeaten run with four victories and has created a seven point lead at the top of the group and has the potential to secure at least a playoff spot after the next international weekend. That is because the side will be hosting Kandorith on Monday after their match on Friday, Kandorith sits currently in third and has surged back into prominence in the second half of the qualifiers. Should the Marauders get their expected victory on Friday, a victory against Kandorith on Monday will secure a top two spot for the Marauders and have them only a victory away from Qualifying outright.

With so much success, one would think that the general populace would be quite distracted from the political machinations of the nation, but the eyes of the populace are on the chambers of the Senate. It may be that the patience is growing thin and that the populace has truly taken the message of Lathwen to heart, taken her tour around the country and getting to know them a rallying cry. For decades, the Senate has been allowed to do has it has been desired as long as it adhered to the Raynor's mantle. Yet now it seems to be challenging that mantle, challenging that power, trying to usurp the rights of the family who had forged the very nation that they ruled over. While a populace can be swayed, trying to sway a populace that owes it entire existence to a family, a family that had provided security and plenty for centuries, is a task to far. It is a task that may be the very undoing of the Senate itself, as the deadline to the decision draws near and the patience of the populace and the claimant grow increasingly thin...

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Running Up That Hill

PART 1 (29) - Light Me Up

I'm finding my heart
Using my hands
You're my feet on the ground
My footprints

From where I began
I still carry your love
I feel your love

This is fucking awesome.

That Macklemore and Ryan Lewis quote is probably the best way to describe Asher Lundrigan and Eileen De Ramaut (whose name is way more known by those active music listeners as Plongeon) right now, dear reader.

Since the very night in her Montreal apartment about a year ago, their lives had seemingly returned to normalcy, as they found peace in their own lives again. This kind of a feeling, where you, after years of not looking at the pieces in your attic, find your way to piece the puzzle pieces together, is special. It’s something that a historian of the Quebecois fin-de-siecle, whether from top-bottom or bottom-up approach, would love to travel on a time machine to achieve, and it’s also something that a religious reader of the text, who may feel inspired by but misinterpreting of this, and quote from Job 8:7 (King James Bible): ‘Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase’.

This would continue, but more on an implicit capacity, though soon the tides would change, as we get transported to that of their first trip together abroad. Here, like a flock of beautiful birds, Asher and Eileen walked over the urban, stone-floored streets of Downtown Brattleboro on an early May 2045 evening.

All the travels, from museums to parks and even a small palace that His Royal Highness The Prince Caspian, Duke of Halifax, would sometimes visit to look over his past duchy that he governed before the marriage to Christine II of Quebec, were had with ease. Without a snapshot, without a worry, nor any sight of discernment, they just let the first stretch of their travels go by with ease. Now, having gone through quiet, reserved two days of travels and observations, they were finally starving as they headed to the local night markets for their final dinner here, before they were heading out east.

‘Are you still thinking about the script?’ Eileen De Ramaut smiled, lower half of her vocal register seemingly suggesting that she may have had a yawn earlier, as they walked along the streets of Downtown Brattleboro.

‘No, but I am the luckiest no matter what,’ Asher chuckled, raising his hands twice as he walked sideways and then swirled into a couple of personal circles, while he watched her laugh. Asher had now been accustomed to letting go, but still understanding the importance of self-control.

While he was somewhat of a rebel when younger, she wasn’t, and he had remembered this all along. Things had to be done. Adjustments, of course, weren’t the easiest- personal contacts had to be cleared, few dozen phone numbers deleted, and enough people ghosted. But for Eileen, that Plongeon that the hipster girls (mind you, high school Asher’s social life was a lot less comprehensive in terms of friends those days) had listened to as early as year 9? His ex who also happened to be someone he had remembered many first moments? It was worth it.

And then, like how we expected it, it worked brilliantly, and with their anniversary coming up in three weeks, life was as lovely as it could get. Now they were doing best to keep themselves together, as they walked over the well-maintained pavements of Brattleboro with ease. It was clearly her choice- it was feeling slightly warm outdoors, and with both Asher and Eileen not having received any calls from Concord Heights Times or her manager, Janet Mullen-Baker, it seemed like the night was theirs to keep. Being aware of possible attention they may receive from a random Quebecois living there as a professional, Asher wasn’t really a fan of the idea of walking, but he still gave into her suggestion and they just walked their way to the markets.

Sooner than later, they arrived at a small outdoor restaurant, where the local grocer would come up with a new menu every week. Feeling perhaps too comfortable, they went through great trouble picking the right sort, before eventually deciding upon a couple of Dagan comfort food dishes. With the waiter picking up the menu and the alcohol slowly poured, they just looked at each other.

Oh shite, Asher thought to himself once again as he struggled to control himself. Her eyes, normally blue in the daylight, were changing again; with hues of green they first turned, which then changed to purple and black, before returning to blue. Her mouth, and how she smiled as they looked, reminded him enough of what he still lacked in terms of restraints. Anyhow, the conversation had to start at some point and it was his turn this time.

'Our last night here,' Asher smiled, trying his best not to feel so shaken about the changing eye colours. Given his state of mind, he probably was insane enough. But at least he wasn't faking it like how he used to. 'In the unexpected city of love!'

'Come on, you really feel that?' Eileen laughed, somewhat feeling his bluff over the fluff he had to give over their first three days there. 'Anyhow, I'm glad we're going this time. You know, I remember how my great-granny used to mention about the soldiers and how they came from the war..such a shame she's not able to go back in last decades, but at least we're doing her a favour.'

'Anywhere with you.' said he, as Asher tried to calm his breath down before resuming it. 'It's unexpected but ultimately ends with the right amount of sweetness. Like the era we live under and her namesake- actually their namesake. Christine and Caspian....but in our own way.'

[Pasarga]

Thunder claps the drum and the sound of war
Screams and shouts surround the whole
Fire flashes through the sky as the center lights
Sphere of delight and boundless flight
Warriors clash in the middle of the gauntlet
Roaring waves crashing round and round
The searing pain of a lifeless form crumpled on the ground
As the drum bangs louder and louder
Triumphant shrieks of untold ecstasy
The world spins and spins through the space
As a murals painting fades in its traces
Splotches of color from all across the globe
Yet only gold can be given to one
A gauntlet of fire is ever in the clear
Whose goblet of golden river runs over
Till the story is told once more to those who wander
And wonder

~ A Game of Delight and Sorrow - Alexander Jager ~

[Savigliane]

IX. Zoë Barthelemy
23 July, 2018
Villeneuve, Savigliane

---

Aimee was many things to Zoë Barthelemy. The agent had practically gotten her career started - after a once-promising youth career with AS Villeneuve, Savigliane's premier Francophone club, had gone slightly awry, Aimee had negotiated a step down to Stade-Ferre Trinité, a rising power in Savigliane's league, that had worked wonders for all parties involved. When she wasn't revitalizing the young winger's career or nabbing her sponsorship deals, she was Zoë's confidante, spiritual counselor, and best friend.

Oh, and they were also sisters.

So it might not come as a surprise that the two of them largely agreed on Zoë's career trajectory. Both just wanted what was best for their family, a lesser-known one that was nevertheless firmly entrenched in the upper crust of the city of Villeneuve. As a result, they tended to agree on the big decisions, and when disagreements over the little things rose up, the sisters were easily able to compromise. That politeness had shattered when Savigliane had fallen through a portal and entered a new dimension. With a new dimension came the suspension of the Savigliane league, clients for the family business slowly drying up, and Aimee suggesting that Zoë leave the country.

"I just don't get why you wouldn't want to," she had said a few weeks after the split, before Zoë had fired her.

"Stade-Ferre needs me. What does it say about me if I leave them right now, in the middle of a national crisis? Trinité would fucking-"

"Well, it means that you need a paycheck from someone, and no Savigliano team is going to give you anything with the state of our economy. You have to think about-"

"I have to think about the family? You're the one suggesting I get out of the country!"

"You were going to have to do this eventually. Were you just going to stay at Villeneuve and Trinité your whole life? That's not what stars do."

Zoë had cut her out of her career shortly after, finding a local agent in Trinité who could accept that she wasn't going anywhere. She'd waited patiently for the return of the league, signed a new two-year deal with Stade-Ferre, and headed back to the field when she was ready. On the national team side of things, she was patiently waiting her turn behind the Gabriel Lefebvres and Isabella Costes of Savigliane's incredible attacking depth. She figured she was 23, she had time, and when Lefebvre was done playing, Laurent Chambéry - her former club manager at Stade-Ferre - would slot her onto the wing or something.

Then Laurent Chambéry had left, some guy from Northwest Kalactin had come in, and she'd found herself dropped from the team. Suddenly, patience started to look like stagnation. And after the long shower and the tears, she'd realized what she'd had to do.

"This is Zoë, sis...I need you back."

[Newmanistan]

WORLD CUP 86 - NEWMANISTAN/DRAWKLAND

This cutoff will bring some more scores in due time. Hopefully, they won't make you angry.