[DRAFT] The boys who glowed in the dark

[Sanghyeok]

This was inspired by Jutsa
Original ideal by Jutsa "Issue about a tampering and either stealing or near-successful stealing of uranium for malicious purposes, such as selling to a blacklisted country."
My interpretation: Cesium from medical instruments.
Issue name: The boys who glowed in the dark.
Eligibility: A low level of primitivism, high income inequality

Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various equipment parts to sell for scrap and make a living. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137. Several of them later died from radiation sickness, and the incident has sparked a debate over how to handle radioactive substances in @@NAME@@.

Option A: "We are incredibly lucky it was just a few boys and not some terrorists from Blackacre!" says your Minister of the Interior. "Imagine if it was the bad guys who got their hands on this, and made a dirty bomb. We've got to make sure that all sources of radioactive materials are carefully stored in a safe location, lest the next time result in an even bigger tragedy."
Result: Hospitals are now guarded more heavily than prisons and military bases

Option B: "The only solution is to get rid of all radioactive materials in our country" screams a protester waving an anti-nuclear sign. "This includes medical devices, bombs, smoke detectors, whatever it takes to make our country safe again and free of nuclear devices! We demand total denuclearization, once and for all!"
Result: Even bananas can't be handled in @@NAME@@ without a radiation suit

Option C: "Treating the symptom is fine, but we need to treat the source" remarks your Minister of Welfare, before pulling up a graph showing the nation's income and wealth disparity. "Those boys wouldn't need to risk their lives selling scrap if they had a decent home to live in, and their family had a stable source of food. Give my department more funding, and this problem and many others will be solved."
Result: The country's poverty rate is nearing zero after an expansion of welfare benefits.

Option D: "Hey, I have an idea" remarks a familiar looking dark-masked man who slipped into your office while your back was turned facing your Minister of Welfare. "Why don't we sell this to that fine group o freedom fighters we're funding in the Upper East? They could make things very difficult for that government we hate, and we can get rid of all these health threats. A win-win if you ask me."
Result: The government denies all association with the radiation cloud over Brasilistan

[Trotterdam]

Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137.

Why is this unfortunate for the thieves? Did they accidentally irradiate themselves?

Also, if a hospital is closing down, wouldn't they want to sell off valuable equipment themselves rather than leaving it lying around?

Result: Hundreds of @@DEMONYM@@ die from treatable diseases each year.

This is very similar to the effect line for #413 1.

[Sanghyeok]

Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137.

Why is this unfortunate for the thieves? Did they accidentally irradiate themselves?

Also, if a hospital is closing down, wouldn't they want to sell off valuable equipment themselves rather than leaving it lying around?

Result: Hundreds of @@DEMONYM@@ die from treatable diseases each year.

This is very similar to the effect line for #413 1.

It's based off of a real story about slum boys in Brazil. The hospital was closed but for some reason there were certain machines left behind.
Thanks for telling about the effect line. I will fix it.

[Random Country 453632]

Background: A few days ago, some teenagers from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137. The incident has sparked a debate over how to handle radioactive substances in @@NATION@@.

Option A: "We are incredibly lucky it was just a few boys and not some terrorists from Maxtopia!" says your Minister of the Interior. "Imagine if it was the bad guys who got their hands on this, and made a dirty bomb. We've got to make sure that all sources of Cesium are carefully stored in a safe location, lest the next time result in a real tragedy."
Result: Hospitals are now guarded more heavily than prisons and military bases
Stats: Safety decreases, government size increases, taxation increases, youth rebelliousness increases

Reason for change: what if other people saw that action and wanted money for themselves? Especially teens.

[-SARS-]

You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.

[Sanghyeok]

You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.

Thank you for telling me.

[Random Country 453632]

You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.

that is, unless you're in Advanced View.

[Jutsa]

Finally glancing at this — sorry it took so long.

So, yeah, overall, not gonna lie, I kinda like how this is set up; especially if this is based on a real story.
The premise is pretty solid (though it'd be nice if you specified why the cesium was unfortunate for the kids, although there's definitely a slight implication.

The options seem to be "dispose of them properly," "stop using cesium at all", and "curse technology". Not gonna lie, it's kinda amusing,
though I do personally feel like the last one's a bit... well, both waning away from the story and kinda similar to option 2, just an even more extreme version of a radical option.

Besides, what about other solutions? Like, say, just blowing up the abandoned hospital? Or selling off the technology? Or booby-trapping the place?
Or maybe you should congratulate those dumb fools for the sacrifice they made to both environmental safety and entrepreneurial innovation?

There's a lot of potential for a third (and maybe even fourth) option, but I feel like two "wind back technology" options isn't quite right. But that's my personal opinion.
Everything else looks pretty good. I'm kinda... interested, as to why an abandoned hospital would have been abandoned and left its technology behind,
but again, if it happened in real life, then there's merit for it. I say keep working on this.

[Honeydewistania]

I thought it's spelled caesium

[Sanghyeok]

Finally glancing at this — sorry it took so long.

So, yeah, overall, not gonna lie, I kinda like how this is set up; especially if this is based on a real story.
The premise is pretty solid (though it'd be nice if you specified why the cesium was unfortunate for the kids, although there's definitely a slight implication.

The options seem to be "dispose of them properly," "stop using cesium at all", and "curse technology". Not gonna lie, it's kinda amusing,
though I do personally feel like the last one's a bit... well, both waning away from the story and kinda similar to option 2, just an even more extreme version of a radical option.

Besides, what about other solutions? Like, say, just blowing up the abandoned hospital? Or selling off the technology? Or booby-trapping the place?
Or maybe you should congratulate those dumb fools for the sacrifice they made to both environmental safety and entrepreneurial innovation?

There's a lot of potential for a third (and maybe even fourth) option, but I feel like two "wind back technology" options isn't quite right. But that's my personal opinion.
Everything else looks pretty good. I'm kinda... interested, as to why an abandoned hospital would have been abandoned and left its technology behind,
but again, if it happened in real life, then there's merit for it. I say keep working on this.

Thank you for your feedback! I am still continuing to rewrite the issue (after I finish remaking my factbooks, of course...)
Your advice is really useful.

[Sanghyeok]

I thought it's spelled caesium

You are correct, that is the official spelling.
I have an odd mix of spelling, where I use both US (Simplified) and UK (Traditional) English.

[Minskiev]

@@NATION@@ —> @@NAME@@

[Honeydewistania]

Make the characters a little more interesting, especially the uncle and the Minister of the Interior. Maybe have the uncle to be smashing a remote control to pieces or something similar

[Sanghyeok]

@@NATION@@ —> @@NAME@@

Thank you for the advice!

[Sanghyeok]

Make the characters a little more interesting, especially the uncle and the Minister of the Interior. Maybe have the uncle to be smashing a remote control to pieces or something similar

Hmmm...do you mean like having the uncle smash a fire alarm or something? That will be interesting.

[Sanghyeok]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goi%C3%A2nia_accident

This is what I based it off of, an incident from a book I read.

[Sanghyeok]

/bump

[Minskiev]

Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

[Sanghyeok]

Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

I am very bad at creating titles. If you like, please suggest one.

[Honeydewistania]

Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

Not to be rude, but it’s better than the Stake Outs title.

[Minskiev]

Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

Not to be rude, but it’s better than the Stake Outs title.

I’m fixing that title, you don’t need to remind me that it’s bad.

[Verdant Haven]

I like this as an issue very much, as the incident it is based off isn't even a one-off... it is something that has happened repeatedly and in multiple countries, with wide-ranging consequences. Medical radiotherapy devices, as well as similar lab equipment, has wandered off as scrap metal (both by theft and unwitting sale) on quite a few occasions. The Goiania, Brazil incident (which I believe you're referencing) is joined by places like Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, Mayapuri, India, and Samut Prakarn, Thailand in having almost this exact scenario play out with widespread consequences, ranging from a dozen or so people exposed to more than 100,000.

Diving in to the draft...

- I wouldn't necessarily drive for a scientific advancement benchmark as a validity - one of the problems that leads to these incidents is a lack of proper safeguards, and in some cases it's because advanced devices are being used in manners that suggest the individuals in question lack advanced scientific understanding. High income inequality makes sense for having the scrappers digging around, but if you want a second validity, I'd probably incline towards excluding nations with particularly high primitivism.

- For the background description, perhaps specify that the boys stole "various equipment" to "sell for scrap" - that's a little more accurate to the occasion than trying to black-market hospital electronics. The actual movement and handling of the equipment isn't what's dangerous with these things - it's when they get broken open by people trying to smash them up for their components. A scrapyard is also something kids from the slums would have access to and understand, whereas the international gray-market in radiotherapy devices probably isn't.

- Option A: Maxtopia has been presented in many ways, but I don't think they're usually described as a major terrorist threat. Blackacre might work better here? I would also be less specific in the minister's reply when it comes to which materials to safeguard. caesium-137 is only one of the problems in this field - there are also issues with cobalt-60, iridium-192, and iodine-131 to name a few. Smoke detectors typically use americium-241. It's also a bit... brutal for the minister to dismiss this as "not a real tragedy" given that multiple children died. Maybe next time might result in "an even bigger tragedy" or the like?

- Option B: This is definitely the extreme response - I would give the speaker more flavor, as they're exceedingly plain right now. WHY do they feel this way? What are they trying to protect? Who do they represent? That sort of stuff. As an aside, it's smoke detectors rather than fire alarms that have the source such a protestor would be flipping out about.

- Option C: This is a second extreme response, and doesn't feel particularly necessary or believable. I would drop it and replace with something else (suggestions below).

- Option D: Good concept - keep working on fleshing out the speaker and the option. Perhaps their speech is a little more circumspect, or they seem familiar from somewhere LEADER doesn't quite remember?

- General suggestion - what it feels like this is missing to me, besides the general polishing that comes with the drafting and editing process, is options that actually reflect realworld responses. There are two things that have generally happened in response to these incidents - intense regulatory action, and widespread medical response. We can assume that medicine is being dealt with, but I think it would be a good look to have a regulatory agency come screaming in here with mountains of paperwork about how to prevent such incidents in the future, and that could end up with a perhaps more entertaining use of the banana reference (bananas are a controlled substance, or needing a countersigned form to purchase, or something like that). At any rate, the guards in Option A address how the kids accessed the device (the problem), but there is nothing addressing why the device was accessible in the first place (the symptom). I think that would be an important option to add to the discussion. If you wanted to flex another option somewhere, probably replacing a different one since 4 is usually plenty, you could have somebody looking at addressing why kids feel the need to raid clinics for scrap metal in the first place - welfare, food assistance, health care provisions, etc.

[Sanghyeok]

I like this as an issue very much, as the incident it is based off isn't even a one-off... it is something that has happened repeatedly and in multiple countries, with wide-ranging consequences. Medical radiotherapy devices, as well as similar lab equipment, has wandered off as scrap metal (both by theft and unwitting sale) on quite a few occasions. The Goiania, Brazil incident (which I believe you're referencing) is joined by places like Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, Mayapuri, India, and Samut Prakarn, Thailand in having almost this exact scenario play out with widespread consequences, ranging from a dozen or so people exposed to more than 100,000.

Diving in to the draft...

- I wouldn't necessarily drive for a scientific advancement benchmark as a validity - one of the problems that leads to these incidents is a lack of proper safeguards, and in some cases it's because advanced devices are being used in manners that suggest the individuals in question lack advanced scientific understanding. High income inequality makes sense for having the scrappers digging around, but if you want a second validity, I'd probably incline towards excluding nations with particularly high primitivism.

- For the background description, perhaps specify that the boys stole "various equipment" to "sell for scrap" - that's a little more accurate to the occasion than trying to black-market hospital electronics. The actual movement and handling of the equipment isn't what's dangerous with these things - it's when they get broken open by people trying to smash them up for their components. A scrapyard is also something kids from the slums would have access to and understand, whereas the international gray-market in radiotherapy devices probably isn't.

- Option A: Maxtopia has been presented in many ways, but I don't think they're usually described as a major terrorist threat. Blackacre might work better here? I would also be less specific in the minister's reply when it comes to which materials to safeguard. caesium-137 is only one of the problems in this field - there are also issues with cobalt-60, iridium-192, and iodine-131 to name a few. Smoke detectors typically use americium-241. It's also a bit... brutal for the minister to dismiss this as "not a real tragedy" given that multiple children died. Maybe next time might result in "an even bigger tragedy" or the like?

- Option B: This is definitely the extreme response - I would give the speaker more flavor, as they're exceedingly plain right now. WHY do they feel this way? What are they trying to protect? Who do they represent? That sort of stuff. As an aside, it's smoke detectors rather than fire alarms that have the source such a protestor would be flipping out about.

- Option C: This is a second extreme response, and doesn't feel particularly necessary or believable. I would drop it and replace with something else (suggestions below).

- Option D: Good concept - keep working on fleshing out the speaker and the option. Perhaps their speech is a little more circumspect, or they seem familiar from somewhere LEADER doesn't quite remember?

- General suggestion - what it feels like this is missing to me, besides the general polishing that comes with the drafting and editing process, is options that actually reflect realworld responses. There are two things that have generally happened in response to these incidents - intense regulatory action, and widespread medical response. We can assume that medicine is being dealt with, but I think it would be a good look to have a regulatory agency come screaming in here with mountains of paperwork about how to prevent such incidents in the future, and that could end up with a perhaps more entertaining use of the banana reference (bananas are a controlled substance, or needing a countersigned form to purchase, or something like that). At any rate, the guards in Option A address how the kids accessed the device (the problem), but there is nothing addressing why the device was accessible in the first place (the symptom). I think that would be an important option to add to the discussion. If you wanted to flex another option somewhere, probably replacing a different one since 4 is usually plenty, you could have somebody looking at addressing why kids feel the need to raid clinics for scrap metal in the first place - welfare, food assistance, health care provisions, etc.

Thank you for your feedback, it is very helpful. I have replaced option C to the 'welfare option' you suggested.