JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION OF WAR WITH ILEA. ALL NATIONS WELCOME.
Earlier today, The region of Djikolaa declared war on the small region of Greater Ilea, due to their suspected Destruction of the grand temple of Djejoni Kelkehmaght in the City of al-QATRANSHAQWAH also known as Bhudjo.
Al-Qatranshaqwah:
Country of LocationYusik
Region of Location:Djikolaa
Main Language:Ukadian
Population:2 million
Nebekr Al shahani, a local business man reported 'կալ մւստրոզտ սեր տեհ շեqհ մատտր սեբր կե հարագան։ Շոխմոն սատալաւ մեհձերհ ̕ՍՒԼԿՒՐԱՏԱՁՆԱՍՏԱՆԱՆ̕ օփակրտամշեիխ ալակաստւ յետրանանան։' Via our translator, Nuhjemon al-Septr we have been able to pick up an important piece of information, as shown via this translated extract: 'kal mwstrozt ser teh sheqh mattr sebr ke haragan։ Shoxmon satalaw mehd'erh ̕SWLKWRATAD'NASTANAN̕ o'p'akrtamsheix alakastw yetrananan։ (early this morning, a young man dressed in an ilean oufit approched me with a Haraga sword. He screamed at me 'Death to the natives who reist colonisation' and then preceded to shout at me in Ileaan.) '
Hence, the well armed Ukadian army headed toward Ilea today, with a catsket full of 'մորդձնիծե', in an attempt to make peace. Due to the mysterious nature of Ilea, 200 of the best diplomats died, leading to the descision. Jhakeel Jamnou, one of the soldiers reported to us in classical Yjukdju 'ሐክር ኣክ ከህሚር ሳህጁት ኣል ፑኡትኒር፦ ምዓሕዓርዓኻንጎኖጎ ስሀህፕ ኢኦትዩ ስሃክጀሀር ተህጁም።' This roughly translates as 'hoardes of armed natives offered us the tradtional M'belu drink. As we are DIPLOMATS we accpted. soon after they attempted to slit our throats.'
Our plucky soldiers managed to retrieve a new linguistic mystery... The new language of Makrahuy. It is similair to the bejon tribal language, however linguists can't understand it. The script is this 'ཏོལོཏྲ ཧྗཀྲརེཇེཀེངལ ཏུཧྗཧྐྨེརཏལལལུཛྸིེུཇེཁེཇཏརེཇྷུནཏྲུཡེ༄'. If you have any ideas to it's meaning, please wright in. Current analysis showsthat it may translate to something like 'sacred holy stone' but no-one really knows!
An extract from the tahla times shows that there has been much anger in the local communities in the Qatranshaqwah region:
Շահադւեկենա̕ա դւկրտահւտրանահաձւ ոիձգ րիսոիֆ ոի ֆոսի ֆոիֆ ոսիֆ իֆձ սոիֆ ոսիֆ ոիգ դֆգ դիրձգնդձֆ աոեիկ րձqիոեձ ոսկդֆկն վգիդձֆկնգ սոձֆ ոիեֆոիխդւֆձ իոձտ իոսրձ եոիրձ ոիեկֆ ո՞ իձոի ոիձ աոի դոսիադ ոիդ ոիադձ ոիձֆձ ոի ֆոիխ ձֆոֆոի ֆոդֆ դ ֆձկդվ ֆխձվնոս ֆկդմնվ ոսսիոկֆ մսկե մֆձդհֆ9ւոձեւպqոձր րոկդղրկ ֆ պաւե պqու ձֆոիֆգձդֆկձգ րիոգձեի րֆպոա ե ֆոձպաեոձ ֆոդձ իձվ պդիֆձ պաեոֆ ոդկվֆմբն իոեկրֆձպաեր պոաֆձ պի ֆպ/ր 0ֆւ9եֆձեֆձ ոֆլի աֆոաի հֆոա իծր/ւօօօօօշ։ իձֆ եիոֆձկ ծադձֆ ոաի ուիհֆոեիո աֆդձբ ֆիհբ ոֆիձպեձ որ հբոդբ իձ բպե գոեպ գձֆնվ դի վսեպձֆ պոե ձվիիոր վնֆոի վձոպֆվֆպգւրհգդիվֆիպ ֆոե ձֆպրվ։ (Shahadwekena̕a dwkrtahwtranahad'w oid'g risoif oi fosi foif osif ifd' soif osif oig dfg dird'gndd'f aoeik rd'qioed' oskdfkn vgidd'fkng sod'f oiefoixdwfd' iod't iosrd' eoird' oiekf o՞ id'oi oid' aoi dosiad oid oiadd' oid'fd' oi foix d'fofoi fodf d fd'kdv fxd'vnos fkdmnv ossiokf mske mfd'dhf9wod'ewpqod'r rokdghrk f pawe pqow d'foifgd'dfkd'g riogd'ei rfpoa e fod'paeod' fodd' id'v pdifd' paeof odkvfmbn ioekrfd'paer poafd' pi fp/r 0fw9efd'efd' ofli afoai hfoa ic'r/wo'o'o'o'o'sh։ id'f eiofd'k c'add'f oai owihfoeio afdd'b fihb ofid'ped' or hbodb id' bpe goep gd'fnv di vsepd'f poe d'viior vnfoi vd'opfvfpgwrhgdivfip foe d'fprv։)
Sadly, all attempts to fully translate have been put down by the local government, but we can reveal the summary:
'The local temple means so much to the community, it was very angering to see it go. Hence, tonight we have decided to CENSORED as a retaliation to the ilean authorities. They will never see it coming. Our village leader, CENSORED has given his approval of the act, so off we go to CENSORED. The Ileans obviously hate CENSORED hence that is our secret weapon. Hopefull we can convert some on the way! CENSORED is the only true CENSORED and we are there to support him. As Gdujdi Gudjan says 'CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED' Hilarious right? Anyway any opposition will be CENSORED for treason against our CENSORED'. Ha, bet they wont see that coming. HAIL CENSORED AND PRAY FOR CENSORED IN OUR MAIDEN CENSORED TO THE NATION OF CENSORED WHICH RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO US CENSORED IN CENSORED!!!'
Scary right? the amount of CENSORED material that we revealed there was almost illegal! Now, back to the temple. Are correspondant, Jhagen Hejra telles us about the state of the situation..
'Ghjej Kej, hello! So, I'm outside of the temple Yujrah (ጽሃረ ዩድራግጋ) and all I can see is well, rubble. Signs of the ground in Ilean say 'ܡܐܠܠܐܢܗܐ ܟܥ ܝܐܘܟܗ ܣܗܐܗ ܐܠ ܟܐܪܝܡ ܢܐܟܟܥܗ' Literally translating to 'You better run, we're having fun [planting a bomb in your temple]. Apart from that, the small templeis now filled with pilgrims. A man is standing in the centre with ჯემეჰ written on his forehead - that transliterates as jemeh, so maybe meaning traitor? anyway, Signs everywhere are hanging with the traditional მალჯქაჰyუთხუჯთაბან (preist) painted on them. Woah! In a giant fireball has just landed in the centre! Wow, its the მალჯქაჰyუთხუჯთაბან(priest). He's dead. Oh my gosh! Sorry I can't report any longer! ⲅⲁⲣⲁⲛⲧϩⲛⲁⲙ ⲩⲩ ⲧⲉϩⲃⲉⲕ ⲧⲉϩ ⲙⲁⲁϩ (GARANTHNAM YU TEHBEK TEH MAAH - GOD FORBID MY SINS)
Wow, well thats a bit dramatic! Sadly, that is the end of todays article, but please wright in if you too want to declare war on Great Ilea. Thank you!
With End of poll, Djikolaa Declares war!