- Jessika – as ever, with a heavy Schutzenphalian accent, and struggling to pronounce the names of other countries – has been speaking with her two usual guests.
“…just under his left paw.”
“Yes Jessika, it was a very well taken chance by Andrin, cutting in from the right to sweep up the loose ball,” says a sweaty, poorly dressed middle aged man.
Caption: ‘Olle Tobiasson, sports writer’.
“He hasn’t scored a hatful of goals for Altendalur so getting one for the national team will have really boosted his confidence.”
“And a good flick header from Love to set it up, Petter?”
A well dressed, younger man – sweatiness not evident – shrugs.
Caption: ‘Petter Erlingsson, Steinaux’.
“Actually Jessika, I think it was more of an attempt on goal by him, so possibly a little generous to chalk it up as an assist. But certainly, it split the defense nicely. Big lads, these Wymondham defenders, but not too mobile.”
“Mmm, that sounds familiar!”
“It does. Ralf and Vilbjörn are cut from the same cloth. But they did a better job, as the scoreline shows, of shutting down the Wymondham offense. Loose balls in the box cleared out well, not a single attacking header on goal; it was an impressive showing from our center backs.”
“So if you’re not willing to give credit to Love for the first goal, surely you can’t deny him the second!?”
“Haha, no, you’re right Jessika, that was all Love.”
“And a little bit of Hlégestur, too.”
“Yes, Olle. They really exploited the weakness at right back, with Hlégestur pressing up hard on the left wing all night. A good cross in for the first goal, and a good run for the second that sucked in Dyatlov to provide cover, and that created the space in the center for Love to run in.”
“He nearly pushed it wide.”
Petter shrugs again.
“Nearly is good enough. It was a well taken finish, calm head under pressure after all the criticism coming into this game.”
“Are you talking about Olle’s column?”
The two men exchange a jokey look.
“Well, now you mention it…”
“I don’t think I was too harsh. Love is no Jason Þórhallursson.”
“But he’s scored as many international goals as him now.”
“Oh ho! Do I sense some Steinaux – Gunzlach rivalry brewing?”
“No Jessika. But the truth is after all this talk of him as a natural goalscorer, Jason went the whole Copa without getting one goal. Love came into this game with people like Olle writing him off as not a natural goalscorer – and within 30 minutes he’d set up the first, and after another 30, netted the second. Maybe being a natural goalscorer is a bit overrated!”
The two men are bristling in slightly less jokey fashion now, so Jessika breaks the tension by standing up and moving to the display monitor. Immediately, all animosity – along with everything from the day of the week to their children’s first names – is forgotten.
“Since we are talking about Jason’s absence, let’s bring up the Olympics. The two Olympic squads have led to this squad being quite old. Too old, despite last night’s win, Olle?”
The Fußball Show’s graphics department is as well-funded as the GPI-EPZ’s child labor enforcement bureau
“I think endurance may be a factor down the line. A good first game is great, but this is a long group stage. Some of these men are older than I am, in their late 30s!”
Jessika and Petter exchange a sarcastic glance as they avoid staring at Olle’s obvious hairpiece.
“And Petter, the fans have definitely noticed this. Some of the Snow Wolf Pack attended the game in Futonville dressed in gray, with walking sticks. Do you think that’s just gentle ribbing and will motivate the team, or is it hurtful and will discourage them?”
“I think it’s just good fun.”
“I completely disagree,” cuts in Olle. “It must be so dispiriting for these players who’ve played their hearts out for their country to see their own fans drawing liver spots on their hands with marker pens!” He quickly folds his own liver-spotted hands.
“Well, anyway, it doesn’t look like there’ll be any changes for the next game against Kenkesey. Can we expect more of the same, Petter?”
“I think they’ll play the same team and broadly the same tactics. The scouting report on Kencana is that they might be short on fitness, but they’re coming off a loss so will be motivated. I’d expect more reliance on Hlégestur, he looked a real sparkplug, and then hopefully Hrærekur can be a bit more clinical with his passing – too often he was playing long balls straight for Robinson to cut off.”
“And discipline, Olle?”
“Mm, I wouldn’t be overly worried. A second yellow for Ralf would mean a game missed, but two bookings is hardly a team running riot. The careless free kick given away was an issue, but Robert didn’t trouble Alexander. Let’s just hope they don’t give easy set piece chances away to Kencana.”
“OK. Let’s move on to the Olympics. After two games, how do we think Amanda is handling her role in the center of midfield…?”