[DRAFT] Cloud Atlas

[Cretox State]

An issue about the naming of large storms. As always, any feedback is appreciated.

Draft 2: Shifted the premise to cover the granting of access to meteorological data to private corporations (a point of controversy in the US, at least).

Cloud Atlas

Validity: Must allow private industry.

Description
Seeing a prime business opportunity amidst a slew of inaccurate, overly broad, and terribly animated National Weather Service forecasts in recent months, a group of entrepreneurs and corporate representatives have approached you to request that they be given access to the government's meteorological data.

Validity: Must allow computers.
Option 1a
"Your data combined with our supercomputers and industry contacts will ensure that farmers across @@NAME@@ receive accurate and personalized weather reports relevant to their harvests- for a fair price, of course," says McSanto spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@, grabbing a mirror off your desk to examine @@HIS@@ sleek and efficient hairstyle. "You need to make government meteorological data free to all who request it. Imagine the innovation! Imagine the profits!"

Effect: the military's new intelligence gathering satellite is the nation's worst-kept secret

Validity: Must not allow computers.
Option 1b
"Your data combined with our infrastructure and industry contacts will ensure that farmers across @@NAME@@ receive accurate and personalized weather reports relevant to their harvests- for a fair price, of course," says McSanto spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@, grabbing a mirror off your desk to examine @@HIS@@ sleek and efficient hairstyle. "You need to make government meteorological data free to all who request it. Imagine the innovation! Imagine the profits!"

Effect: the military's new intelligence gathering satellite is the nation's worst-kept secret

Option 2
"What's next, charging people for water?" scoffs your bloated Director of the National Weather Service, crunching the numbers on his abacus. "Profit-minded corporations should never be given access to something so essential as weather forecasting. Give a healthy boost to the Service's budget, and there won't be any question as to our capabilities for a good long while."

Effect: the seven-day @@CAPITAL@@ forecast is "swampy with a chance of tax hikes"

Option 3
"The weather outside is... sunny!" mocks Minister of Finance @@RANDOMNAME@@, looking out the window. "I sure didn't need any fancy forecast or data to know that! All this weather hoopla is nothing but a waste of our time and the taxpayers' money. Cut the entire Weather Service, and let private companies develop their own expensive infrastructure if they really want to. No skin off our backs."

Effect: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ rely on tarot cards and astrology to plan trips to the beach
Alternate: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are weathering the storm of nonexistent weather forecasts

[Cretox State]

Cloud Atlas

Validity: All.

Description
The largest tropical storm seen in decades is currently bearing down on @@NAME@@, and the National Weather Service's proposed name for the calamity has caused quite a stir: Hurricane @@LEADER@@.

Option 1
"SLANDER!" screams your Minister of Homeland Insecurities, defiling a projection of the path of the storm with a black sharpie. "This is clearly a move meant to hit at you and your leadership. Force them to rename the storm, and slash their budget too. That'll show them and their insolence!"

Effect: six-year-olds must register their doll names with the government

Option 2
"We meant you no offence," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the director of the National Weather Service, sitting down in your chair and propping @@HIS@@ feet up on your desk. "What better way to raise public awareness of the storm's severity than naming it after you? I think we should name all future storms after government initiatives. In fact, why not do it for all major events? 'The Family Values War' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Effect: Tropical Storm Government Bonds is set to make landfall later this month

Option 3
"I see an opportunity here," hisses your Minister of Opportunism, trying to sell his broken phone to a junior aide. "This could be a great opportunity to boost your public image. Embrace the storm's name. Say you'll boost disaster relief funding. Stage photo ops with victims, give speeches about how unimaginably well you handled things, and watch your approval soar."

Effect: starving children are daily reminded of how much the government does for them

Option 4
"I love it!" squeals your brother, showing off his hilarious attempt at painting your likeness. "Hurricane @@LEADER@@! @@LEADER@@ Bridge! @@LEADER@@ City! Everything in @@NAME@@ should be named after you!"

Effect: foreign relief supplies are known as "@@LEADER@@ droppings"

[Trotterdam]

Hurricane names are usually single words. Leader names might be, but very often aren't, once you consider titles, given names, and family names.

Besides, has this ever actually happened? A hurricane coincidentally sharing a name with a current or former national leader because it's a very common name, sure, that probably happens all the time. A hurricane deliberately named after a national leader? Seems unlikely.

[Cretox State]

Hurricane names are usually single words. Leader names might be, but very often aren't, once you consider titles, given names, and family names.

Besides, has this ever actually happened? A hurricane coincidentally sharing a name with a current or former national leader because it's a very common name, sure, that probably happens all the time. A hurricane deliberately named after a national leader? Seems unlikely.

The premise is that the storm was intentionally named after Leader.

[Daarwyrth]

This is clearly a move meant to hit at you

Maybe it's just me, but this feels a little clunky.

and slash their budget too

Consider changing this to "and slash their budget in half!", as it sounds a little stronger.

We meant you no offence,

Consider changing this to "We meant no offence to you,"

hisses

Consider changing this to "whispers", as 'hisses' often has a connotation of anger and venom at someone.

I am a little unsure about option 3. Maybe it's just me, but despite the fact that it deals with the topic of the premise, it feels a little aloof to me. Or at least a little disconnected. It also feels a little like option 2, only this time with a focus on @@LEADER@@. Maybe I'm wrong of course, but perhaps you could see if you can make this option a little more unique.

I love option 4 though!

[Australian rePublic]

Hurricane names are usually single words. Leader names might be, but very often aren't, once you consider titles, given names, and family names.

Besides, has this ever actually happened? A hurricane coincidentally sharing a name with a current or former national leader because it's a very common name, sure, that probably happens all the time. A hurricane deliberately named after a national leader? Seems unlikely.

The premise is that the storm was intentionally named after Leader.

Still wouldn't happen. Like Trott, they're a single word

[Cretox State]

The premise is that the storm was intentionally named after Leader.

Still wouldn't happen. Like Trott, they're a single word

In the real world, sure. But what about in @@NAME@@, where the National Weather Service has authority over storm naming?

[Trotterdam]

In the real world, sure. But what about in @@NAME@@, where the National Weather Service has authority over storm naming?

They're a poor National Weather Service if they choose a name that insults their nation, and also distracts people from focusing on the weather.

Hurricane names aren't supposed to be chosen to make a political statement, they're chosen to be easy to talk about so people don't get confused while following the news about a developing situation that potentially threatens their lives.

[Vivolkha]

If I remember correctly, there was controversy over the naming of storms and hurricanes with exclusively feminine names, so maybe the issue can tackle that?

[Trotterdam]

If I remember correctly, there was controversy over the naming of storms and hurricanes with exclusively feminine names, so maybe the issue can tackle that?

**ABANDONED** Femme Fatale
[SCRAPPED] You Give Storms a Bad Name
I was a killjoy back then, too.

[Honeydewistania]

This will be pretty weird if you’re under 750 million population, cause you’ll have Hurricane Leader.

[Trotterdam]

This will be pretty weird if you’re under 750 million population, cause you’ll have Hurricane Leader.

Better than "Hurricane Prime Minister Marcel Fraser".

[Honeydewistania]

This will be pretty weird if you’re under 750 million population, cause you’ll have Hurricane Leader.

Better than "Hurricane Prime Minister Marcel Fraser".

Yeah haha

[Cretox State]

I've decided to scrap "Hurricane Leader" and tackle the privatization of weather data instead.

[Trotterdam]

I don't see much problem with private companies getting access to weather data, so long as they don't have exclusive access. If it's the government's data originally and they've merely sharing it, there's nothing stopping it from still using it themselves or sharing it with anyone else they like, too.