[SUBMITTED] Privilege Rights

by **Jutsa** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 9:43 am

OK, I admit this one might be a little meta, but I'm hoping it keeps in theme with the whole Jennifer Government thing,
and how corporate-dominated governments are kinda routed there (take, say, America for example).
Edit: Oh, and a bonus question! What option would you pick should you receive this issue?

Title: Privilege Rights
The Issue: Many radically left-leaning citizens believe companies have more power than the government.
Validity: Extreme capitalism

Option 1: "Of course these leftist extremists would say something like that," sighs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Megacorp. "It's time we suppress these lazy good-for-nothing teens, and what better way than by allowing corporations to take punitive action against degenerate workers?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 2: "That's the dribble I'd expect from such a socialist," scoffs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Supermart. "Of course the government is all-powerful and strives for efficiency, which is why you commend our efforts in keeping societal order and wish to expand our influence over international economic and social policy, right?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 3: "Communist!" screeches the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Ultramarket. "The government wouldn't have to worry about losing power if the legislature and tax collector were their own for-profit companies. That's how you fix a problem that never existed."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Validity: Physical Currency
Option 4a: "Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, flicking through several stacks of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@. "Makes my job easier. Might as well stick around as a puppet figure and choose legislation based on companies' better judgement."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Validity: Digital Currency
Option 4b: "Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, refreshing a bank account webpage with an impressively long string of digits. "Makes my job easier. Might as well stick around as a puppet figure and choose legislation based on companies' better judgement."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 5: "Uh-uh..." meekly mumbles your lowest and smallest advisor, hiding underneath your desk. "N-not to s-sound like a leftist, or anything... b-but, m... maybe we should... uh... think a bit about workers and small business owners, and... maybe keep corporations out of our business? I dunno... maybe it's time to take them off the government's teat? A little... maybe? ... s-sorry." @@HE@@ begins whimpering under your desk.
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always left in charge

Title: Privilege Rights
The Issue: Many left-leaning extremist citizens believe companies have more power than the government.
Validity: Extreme capitalism

Option 1: "Of course these leftist extremists would say something like that," sighs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Megacorp. "It's time we suppress these leftist extremists, and what better way than by allowing corporations to take punitive action against these leftist extremists?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 2: "That's the dribble I'd expect from such a socialist," scoffs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Supermart. "Of course the government is all-powerful and strives for efficiency, which is why you commend our efforts in keeping societal order and wish to expand our influence over international economic and social policy, right?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 3: "Communist!" screeches the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Ultramarket. "The government wouldn't have to worry about losing power if the legislature and tax collector were their own for-profit companies. That's how you fix a problem that never existed."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Validity: Physical Currency
Option 4a: "Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, flicking through several stacks of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@. "Makes my job easier. Might as well stick around as a puppet figure and choose legislation based on companies' better judgement."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Validity: Digital Currency
Option 4b: "Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, refreshing a bank account webpage with an impressively long string of digits. "Makes my job easier. Might as well stick around as a puppet figure and choose legislation based on companies' better judgement."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 5: "Uh-uh..." meekly mumbles your lowest and smallest advisor, hiding underneath your desk. "N-not to s-sound like a leftist, or anything... b-but, m... maybe we should... uh... think a bit about workers and small business owners, and... maybe keep corporations out of the government's business? I dunno... maybe it's time to take them off the government's teat? A little... maybe? ... s-sorry." @@HE@@ begins whimpering under your desk.
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always left in charge

Title: Privilege Rights
The Issue: Many left-leaning extremist citizens from inside and outside @@NAME@@ believe companies have more power than the government.
Validity: Extreme capitalism

Option 1: "Of course these leftist extremists would say something like that," sighs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Megacorp. "It's time we suppress these leftist extremists, and what better way than by allowing corporations to take punitive action against these leftist extremists?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 2: "That's the dribble I'd expect from such a socialist," scoffs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Supermart. "The government of course is all-powerful, which is why you commend our efforts in keeping societal order and wish to expand our influence over international economic and social policy."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 3: "Communist!" screeches the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Ultramarket. "Companies won't have more power than the government if the legislature and tax collector were their own for-profit companies. That's how you fix a problem that never existed."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 4: "Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, flicking through several stacks of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@. "Makes my job easier. Might as well stick around as a puppet figure and choose legislation based on companies' better judgement."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always right

Option 5: "Uh-uh..." meekly mumbles your lowest and smallest advisor, hiding underneath your desk. "N-not to s-sound like a leftist, or anything... b-but, m... maybe we should... uh... think a bit about workers and small business owners, and... maybe keep corporations out of the government's business? I dunno... maybe it's time to take them off the government's teat? A little... maybe? ... s-sorry." @@HE@@ begins whimpering under your desk.
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is always left in charge of things

by **Trotterdam** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:24 am

Option 2 seems like a do-nothing option.

by **Grenartia** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:28 am

Trotterdam wrote:Option 2 seems like a do-nothing option.

They all do. They all have the same effects.

by **Westinor** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:55 am

Trotterdam wrote:Option 2 seems like a do-nothing option.

Well, this issue's choices seems awfully like it changes close to just about nearly nothing. That is what you're saying, right?

by **Jutsa** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:00 pm

Publicly commending corporations for their great work and endorsing their "cooperation" with the government is surely something, right?

If you look closely, technically each option is actually subtly different with small granular differences between them.
But for nations as extreme as the target audience, each of them might as well do nothing. Which is kinda the point.

by **Grenartia** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:12 pm

Jutsa wrote:Publicly commending corporations for their great work and endorsing their "cooperation" with the government is surely something, right?

If you look closely, technically each option is actually subtly different with small granular differences between them.

@@LEADER@@ is always right

times 4. No difference, no matter how granular.

But for nations as extreme as the target audience, each of them might as well do nothing. Which is kinda the point.

Then there's no point to this issue.

by **Jutsa** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:54 pm

Well, there kinda is. It's meant to satirize how when corporations are deep-routed in the government, there's basically no way out.

by **Trotterdam** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:59 pm

Jutsa wrote:Publicly commending corporations for their great work and endorsing their "cooperation" with the government is surely something, right?

The other options do obvious stuff, such as suppressing political dissidents or dramatically changing how the government is run. This one is just saying some meaningless words.

by **Jutsa** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 3:03 pm

added "and wish to expand" to the option. Should be a simple enough tweak. :lol:

edit: actually, edited 2 a bit more so it flows much better (hopefully).

by **The Free Joy State** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 10:18 pm

I think the idea is good. I think the delivery of the idea could use some work.

I think the repeated "That is what you're saying, right?" and "@@LEADER@@ is always right" jokes are just a tad on the nose. And I also think that it's a tiny bit too meta and needs an option for more regulation (perhaps from a parliamentarian who's stammering, or shaking, or doing something to underline how vulnerable their position is).

by **Australian rePublic** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 2:11 am

Any options which actually fix the problem?

by **Jutsa** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 11:08 am

Decided to remove the "that is what you're saying, right?" parts since it adds a lot of option text, but I do quite like the effect lines.
Including the one for the new option.

I kinda wanted this to exaggerate the sorta stuck-ness that can happen when corporations become extremely powerful,
but hopefully making the last speaker essentially a talking mouse helps drive that point even further while also giving the player more of a choice. :lol:

by **SherpDaWerp** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:52 pm

Grenartia wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:Option 2 seems like a do-nothing option.

They all do. They all have the same effects.

Similar effect lines doesn't mean the options are the same. Stat effects are based on the text, not the effect, and the options are sufficiently different in their text that they would all have different stat effects. "Allow corporations to punish people" would be essentially allowing corporate-police organisations to make their own rules, praising the current system and giving corporations more power, while it's a do-nothing option, it's worth it because the idea is, the government already does noting.

Jutsa wrote: sighs CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Megacorp

All 3 first options do this, but I've just quoted the first one - it should be "the CEO", not just "CEO". That, or add @@RANDOMNAME@@s - "sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of..."

Personally; I think the meta in-jokes (the effect lines) are still, well, not that amusing. Adding "when it comes to government" didn't help - it just made them longer. They were better before that change. It's a good effect line for Option 2 (and 5), but I think there could be better effect lines for the other options.

That said, without them the issue would lose some of its meta appeal, so if you want to keep them, I think you should make option 5 the same - its effect is pretty much the same as the others anyway.

by **Jutsa** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 9:11 pm

Well, the effect lines have a double purpose, actually. Let me explain.

The first four are "@@LEADER@@ is always right", which I changed to accompany 5 better but I'll gladly reshorten.
This is both a way of saying @@LEADER@@ is always right-leaning, and corporations basically saying in the effect line
that you did the right thing and anything you do to promote them from hereon out is a good thing.

Option 5, however, is meant to say "@@LEADER@@ is always left(ist)", as well as "left in charge of government" to indicate both that you have
more control over the government than corporations do, and that corporations don't like your kicking them out of power. :lol:

I'll change "CEO" to "the CEO" though, and shorten the other four effect lines.

by **SherpDaWerp** » Mon Jul 13, 2020 12:12 am

Jutsa wrote:Well, the effect lines have a double purpose, actually. Let me explain.

The first four are "@@LEADER@@ is always right", which I changed to accompany 5 better but I'll gladly reshorten.
This is both a way of saying @@LEADER@@ is always right-leaning, and corporations basically saying in the effect line
that you did the right thing and anything you do to promote them from hereon out is a good thing.

Option 5, however, is meant to say "@@LEADER@@ is always left(ist)", as well as "left in charge of government" to indicate both that you have
more control over the government than corporations do, and that corporations don't like your kicking them out of power.

I'll change "CEO" to "the CEO" though, and shorten the other four effect lines.

Ah, yeah. The left/right leaning distinction flew over my head, though it is a decent reference now that you mention it.

by **Jutsa** » Mon Jul 13, 2020 7:50 am

That was part of the reason for "That is what you're saying, right?" as well. :lol:

But I agree, taking that part out is fine because a) less repetition and on-the-nose, b) less dialogue, and c) the effect line has much better word play.

I could hypothetically still have the last option be something like "@@LEADER@@ is not always right", which would hypothetically be more accurate,
but I'm not sure how I feel about calling out the player like that. :roll:

edit: Threw in a third "leftist extremists" in option 1 and added "social" in "international economic and social policy" to play a bit more on the "socialist!" mentality.
Also, having corporations in charge of foreign social policy is freaking terrifying but accurate in this case. :rofl:

by **Jutsa** » Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:10 pm

Gonna quick bump this.

by **Fauxia** » Mon Jul 20, 2020 9:08 pm

Option 5 could be a wee bit more specific. Linguistic ambiguity is good, but in this case, I don’t really know what I’m signing on to.

by **Jutsa** » Fri Aug 07, 2020 5:06 pm

Hopefully that works a little bit better?

Also, moving this to last call.

by **Westinor** » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:28 pm

Jutsa wrote:Many left-leaning extremist citizens from inside and outside @@NAME@@ believe companies have more power than the government.

Is it a problem if citizens outside @@NAME@@ believe that companies have more power than the government, though? It makes sense if they believe if companies in @@NAME@@ have more power than the government, since something needs to be done/can be done there from the player's perspective. I suppose then, the issue lies within the general phrase "companies have more power than the government". Maybe if you specify this to mean @@NAME@@'s government, it'd make more sense?

Jutsa wrote:leftist extremists

I think there's a chance for ~~an insult~~ some colorful phrasing here

you use "leftist extremists" twice, and surely these lazy-ass good-for-nothing teens deserve more of a verbal beating than that!

Jutsa wrote:The government of course is all-powerful

The clause feels a bit weird. Not sure "Of course the government is all-powerful" means the same thing as you were going for, but I'd suggest rewording this bit.

Jutsa wrote: which is why you commend our efforts in keeping societal order and wish to expand our influence over international economic and social policy.

Oh, is it like a "wink-wink nudge-nudge" kinda thing then? If so, I'd suggest "The government is, of course, all-powerful..." and maybe an affirming phrase at the end like "right?" or "Am I correct?" Though you definitely don't have to, it just feels like it might read better and feel more fleshed out that way.

Jutsa wrote:Companies won't have more power than the government if the legislature and tax collector were their own for-profit companies.

This feels like it's phrased a bit strangely. I kind of like "Why, surely if we privatise the legislature and tax collecting department, we could keep this problem from ever arising? " It's a bit skin-and-bones, but anyway I think the sentence itself is phrased strangely.

Also, I love the last option

and I'd definitely choose it.

by **Cretox State** » Tue Aug 11, 2020 10:18 am

"Personally, I don't see anything wrong with corporations having more power than the government," suggests the only bureaucrat you've seen in weeks, flicking through several stacks of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@.

I'm not sure how this would work in a nation with digital currency. Other than that, I like this one.

by **Jutsa** » Wed Aug 12, 2020 11:42 am

Updated.

Made a variant option for option 4 (I think 4a still works for nations with gold, even if the image is a bit weird),
removed the outside-of-the-nation aspect (It kinda applies to irl politics these days, but I like the shorter, simpler premise),
kept the leftist extremist (sort-of a running theme with calling them leftist-extremists over and over again to drill into your head that they are, in fact, leftist-extremists.),
reworded option 2; also included "strive for efficiency" and "right?" (which inspired the "That is what you're saying, right?" thing and I think I overcompensated in removing it),
and reworded option 3 in a way that, I hope, works a little better.

Still keeping this on last-call I think. Glad you all seem to like it.

by **Daarwyrth** » Fri Aug 14, 2020 1:20 pm

Many left-leaning extremist citizens

Perhaps "Many radically left-leaning citizens" would sound a bit smoother?

Option 1: "Of course these leftist extremists would say something like that," sighs the CEO of the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Megacorp. "It's time we suppress these leftist extremists, and what better way than by allowing corporations to take punitive action against these leftist extremists?"

Is the repetition intentional in this line? If not, I'd recommend looking for a different way to say "leftist extremists"

Otherwise, I really like this issue! It's a very good example of not only telling us that there might be a problem, but actually showing it. The fact that all of the options seem to be almost the same, actually shows that corporations do have a lot say in how the government is run. Well done!

by **Jutsa** » Mon Aug 17, 2020 6:24 am

Hmm. I originally went with the idea of the first guy repeating "leftist-extremists" because, quite often, irl they'll say the same thing over and over again,
either to drill into peoples' head the idea or just lazy script reading. Probably both.

(things that come to mind: "Polar Vortex", "Testing, Testing, Testing", etc.)

Decided to change it up a bit though; went with something roughly akin to West's earlier suggestion, as well as adding "degenerate workers".

Also changed, slightly, the text of option 5(well, 6) so "government" isn't said twice.

Oh yeah and I submitted it. :lol:

Not sure if I actually brought this up before, but each speaker's narrative section starts this way:
sighs, scoffs, screeches, suggests, and meekly mumbles. You'll notice that the first four all are s__s, think something like snakes,
while the last option only has "s" at the very end of the second word. Yes, that was a very small, intentional detail. :lol:

edit: Hypothetically I could've just made it not a present tense, like "You look down to see your lowest and smallest advisor".
Actually... shoot, that'd kinda have been funnier. Ah well, it's submitted; if any editor picks this up, that's a possible change.

Thank you all for your help with this. Again, this was a lot of fun to make.

by **Daarwyrth** » Mon Aug 17, 2020 6:49 am

Good luck! I really hope this will be picked up

[SUBMITTED] Privilege Rights

[SUBMITTED] Privilege Rights

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