Draft 2: Reworked option 1.
Local Ordnance
Validity: Must have private industry and high Defense Forces.
Description
A recent spending spree by the nation's armed forces has raised questions over what should be done with the military's newfound surplus of old weapons and equipment.
Validity: Must allow guns.
Option 1a
"Yeehaw!" screams @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ magnate and gun enthusiast @@RANDOMNAME@@, discharging @@HIS@@ pistol in excitement and narrowly missing your secretary. "Citizens' personal arsenals could really use an upgrade! Y'all should auction off your big 'ol stash to the highest bidder. I wanna drive a tank!"
Effect: children of the ultra-wealthy ride armored personnel carriers to school
Validity: Must ban guns.
Option 1b
"Yeehaw!" screams @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ magnate @@RANDOMNAME@@, making finger gun motions at your secretary. "Now's a great time to reverse that silly ban on guns n' all the other fun stuff Then, y'all should auction off your big 'ol stash to the highest bidder. I wanna drive a tank!"
Effect: children of the ultra-wealthy ride armored personnel carriers to school
Option 2
"I believe we could strike a... mutually beneficial arrangement," says local Gentleman's Club owner Thin Tony, surrounded by large men in dark suits. "You're looking to get rid of old hardware, and we're looking to buy. You sell weapons to my associates and I, and everyone's happy. Kapeesh?"
Effect: the government sells spare rocket launchers to local bank robbers
Option 3
"We've identified several terror- uh- freedom fighter cells that are key to ongoing operations in @@REGION@@," barks General @@RANDOMNAME@@, scrubbing @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@ military insignia off an anti-personnel mine. "We need to get our spare equipment to these freedom terrorists ASAP to really dominate the battlespace! It's not like it would ever be used against us down the line, right?"
Effect: top research facilities churn out increasingly shoddy improvised explosives
Option 4
"Our factories could always use more raw materials," mutters Industry Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping from a grimy thermos. "Just hear me out on this: We melt down all our old weapons and equipment, and use the scrap to build more! The tanks and big stuff can be repurposed as playgrounds or something. It's the cycle of life! Or death, I guess."
Effect: outdated warships are being converted into affordable housing
Alternate: soldiers literally walk in their ancestors' shoes
Alternate 2: school cafeterias serve old army rations
Option 5
"The military spent HOW much on new toys?!" shrieks Finance Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, dropping @@HIS@@ gilded monocle into an antique wine glass. "And their existing hardware was perfectly usable, to boot! We need to aggressively slash the military budget, and make it clear that they are to use equipment until it breaks!"
Effect: soldiers charge on horseback into enemy armor columns
Alternate: the nation's close air support is provided by biplanes
