This is the first project we’re pursuing, and we decided to challenge ourselves with a bit of a tricky follow-up to 634. We started out by creating a skeleton of the issue, then writing a description based on our interpretation of 634 (this would later be changed). We were able to create the first 3 options nearly immediately, with each author taking one. Once written, the whole group provided feedback and helped each author refine their option to flow with the issue. However, past this point, progress stalled a bit as we didn’t set any deadlines, so we spent a good amount of time waiting and making bad puns in the meantime. Unfortunately, one of the initial authors interested dropped out due to RL reasons, but another author stepped in and took their place. Ultimately, the major benefit of this project is access to a multitude of near instantaneous feedback from others invested in the same project, which seems to outweigh the time spent waiting for everyone to do their part. Hopefully we’ve produced a good issue here. Our next step is a meta groupthink issue, coming soon.
Hivemind moment: https://imgur.com/9sNoQsF
Title: On the Right Track
The Issue:The prototype model for the new high speed maglev railway exploded yesterday, with engineers citing the problem coming as a result of "structural failures." Various contractors wielding crayons and peanut butter have seized the opportunity to confront you with "safer" high-speed networks, ultimately culminating into a sticky yet colorful brawl over the best design right outside of your office door.
Validity: Must have answered #634.1
Option 1: "Isn't this all a little... primitive?" asks futurist CEO Efon Brusque, frantically cleaning peanut butter off his clothing. "Why not adopt my company's HyperLoop™️ design—capsules traveling at extreme velocities, thanks to low pressure tunnels under every @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ city! Future! Speed! Long tunnels! Every single one of these things can be yours, in every major city for the low cost of—" It appears that his throat has closed up as medical personnel proceed to stab him with two different needles.
[effect] adrenaline junkies claim that the newest public transportation system is better every loop
Opton 2: “What a horrid man,“ scoffs bespectacled architect Walt Schwebebahn, shaking after listening to Mr. Husk’s sales pitch. “That all sounds terribly expensive and drab. With a little bit of creative tweaking, we could implement a suspended monorail system alongside the old public railway! This would streamline transportation routes and reduce environmental impact, while making smaller towns more accessible. @@LEADER@@, have you ever felt the magic of being in the open air? Sure beats being in a small, dark—” He promptly faints.
[effect] the new monorails are the best one-liners in @@REGION@@
Option 3: "Look at what I've drawn! Look at it!" shouts giddy tech designer and amateur artist @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you a crude stick figure drawing of their design. "We don't even need to build anything new, just create road trains with a body elevated well above the road so the cars can pass right under them! How could this not be a good idea?"
[effect] double decker buses are outlawed
Option 4: Civil engineer @@RANDOMNAME@@ stops picking crayon out of @@HIS@@ hair long enough to facepalm. "We’re getting sidetracked here. The original idea was a maglev network, and that’s still the most attractive solution. I mean, that last try didn't go too well, but now we'll know about the locusts beforehand! And I really don't think that thing with the milk is going to happen again. Don't try some off-the-rails fancy project, or it’ll end up a train wreck and the taxpayers will take the bullet — stay on the beaten track, and stick with what we know."
[effect] public transit is literally up in the air
Option 5: "Great SCOTT!" shouts Doc Maroon, falling through the ceiling. "@@LEADER@@, I've made a groundbreaking discovery that enables us to teleport molecules between two different points in space. If we can move a molecule, then surely we can move a traincar full of people, right?"
[effect] the deficit in transit maintenance has been quantumly linked to an onion's velocity
EDIT 0: Posted by Noah
EDIT 1: Clarified option 2's rail network to be alongside existing infrastructure rather than repurposing it - Jutsa
EDIT 2: Added Edit 1 to the changelog because Jutsa forgot (smh). Also, I wanted edit 2 - Noah
EDIT 3: Posted new draft - Noah
EDIT 4: Updated to last call, changed name to Efon Brusque, minor edit to option 2.
EDIT 5: I'm an idiot - Noah