NS Arena Bowl VII Sign-Ups/Host Bids

[Sarzonia]

It's about that time for the premier indoor football (also known as Arena Football) tournament in NationStates!

Even though the RL Arena Football League is no more, that fast paced brand of American football still has its admirers and this sport still has its avid practitioners. Saint Kanye won the last Arena Bowl. Will they repeat as champions or will someone else hold the trophy aloft? Let's find out!

For this seventh edition of the NS Arena Bowl (not counting the invitational tournament that begat the Arena Bowl, the Sarzonian Indoor Gridball Invitational Tournament known as Arena Bowl 0), please indicate your intent to sign up here. If you would like to submit a host bid, please do so here as well. Also, if you are signing up a second nation (known as a "puppet"), in keeping with standard NS protocols, please indicate in your puppet sign up post that you're signing up as a puppet of your parent nation. In addition, please confirm your puppet status with a post from your parent nation.

Example: Nowherestan: Nowherestan signs up as a puppet of Sarzonia
Sarzonia: Confirming puppet status of Nowherestan.

Once a host is voted upon and approved, they can decide where and how to cut off sign-ups and get the RP thread going.

Let's have some fun!

Sign-ups (16/??)

1. Sarzonia
2. Lisander
3. Delaclava
4. Sixty-ninE X
5. Kohnhead
6. Megistos
7. Kriegiersien
8. Golgothastan
9. HUElavia
10. Northwest Kalactin
11. The Jovannic
12. Abanhfleft
13. Jeckland
14. Silver Beach
15. Devonta
16. Terre Septentrionale

Host Bids (1/??)
1. Golgothastan

[Lisander]

NS Arena Bowl V Champions back in action.

[Delaclava]

Let's take this inside!

[Sixty-ninE X]

Let's Go!

[Kohnhead]

Kohnhead is in

[Megistos]

in

[Kriegiersien]

We will test our Olympic Football team there.

[Golgothastan]

We sign up.

[Free Republics]

The Free Republics will be back for another shot at winning this.

[HUElavia]

Here I am!

[Northwest Kalactin]

Cool

[The Jovannic]

I'm in my friends.

[Abanhfleft]

In.

[Jeckland]

Here come the Spuds

[Silver Beach]

Meet me inside.

The Arena Bowl II champs are back!

[Golgothastan]

The Afordble Bid For Arena Bowl VII: Golgothastan

The IC rationale for this bid, as has been the case with previous Golgothastan bids, is that the impoverished nation wants to attract tourist capital, but believes that hosting a ‘budget’ tournament will be a more afordble option for them (sadly, even the extra f and a in ‘affordable’ were too expensive for the bidding committee). Because of the reduced size of arena football rosters and playing surfaces compared to Austinite football (for IC purposes, Golgothastani references to ‘American football’ will be to ‘Austinite football’; of course no one else is obliged to recognize this distinction) the Arena Bowl is a great fit.

National Profile

Golgothastan is a nation that has been through many transitions, most notably renaming everything in the country after Sigur Ros songs in deference to President-for-Life (now “Staralfur”) Bort Chocowitz, who is constitutionally prohibited from resigning and whom the Secret Service work tirelessly to keep from escaping, as he is the only competent person in the entire country. Golgothastanis speak a mixture of English, Icelandic, Hopelandic, and completely made-up words, making them highly accessible to tourists: simply screeching in high-pitched wails will likely get you the right order at a restaurant (so long as you ordered turnip). Additionally, Golgothastanis are sporting enthusiasts: though their own teams can rarely aford to participate in international competitions, Golgothastan is extremely highly ranked in football hooliganism, and is the birthplace of many of the leading tactics in this regards, such as the “West Coast offense” (where football hooligans from the East Coast attack football hooligans from the West Coast), the “air raid formation” (where hooligans form strategic shelters to protect themselves from canisters of aerial tear gas), and the “wildcat formation” (where wildcat strikers from the nation’s few working industries join in pitched street battles with right-wing hooligan gangs).

Golgothastan is not a wealthy country, and therefore offers an afordble option for hard working football teams on a budget. Most meals come accompanied by free drinks, as do purchases at shops, visits to museums, attendances at religious services, testimonies before Congressional committee, and refills at petrol stations. Compared to foreign markets, items such as food, clothes, and human organs can be bought very cheaply. Teams will stay at EconoHeima hotels (including a free traditional Golgothastani breakfast of fried liver, blood pudding, and mixed meat sausage) and travel around the country on the Super!! Andvari!! bus service (where they will be invited to share in a complimentary "one for the road" with their friendly driver, every four miles). The people of Golgothastan are very welcoming of foreign visitors, especially rich ones. It is strongly advised that teams and supporters considering the trip to Golgothastan take out insurance beforehand, and where possible avoid bringing expensive items such as jewelry, electronics, and children. Visitors need not worry about xenophobia, however: Golgothastanis are equal opportunities swindlers, and will take advantage of anyone, no matter their skin colour or cultural background.

Bid format

One look at the national accounts will tell you that Golgothastanis are not the most mathematically accomplished, and therefore the simplest possible format will be used. There will be no ranks (trust me, you do not want to get involved in Golgothastani betting syndicates if you value your money, pride, or toenails). All teams will be sorted into equal-sized groups; the exact size and number of these groups will be dependent on final numbers. Golgothastanis are extremely proud of political independence (meaning that original nations will be favored over puppets) but also extremely amenable to bribes (meaning that any puppets will be accepted in order to make up numbers). If by a convenient point we have reach ‘convenient number + 1’ signups, in a striking display of sportspersonship, the Golgothastani team itself will withdraw from competition and still host the tournament. (They will, however, be demanding their deposit back.)

Each group will be located in a particular Golgothastani city, details to be furnished, and play all their games there. There will be single round-robin groups, with tie-breakers:

1. H2H wins
2. H2H points difference
3. H2H points for
4. Overall points difference
5. Overall points for

This is not a traditionally Golgothastani order of doing things (which would involve privileging overall points difference, and would also involve more nudity) but the bidders feel it is appropriate as it’s the way it’s generally been done at the Arena Bowl. See? What a nice, accommodating people. I bet you didn’t even notice your watch was missing.

After the group stage, we will proceed straight to a single-elimination play-off round. Seeding will be done with the following considerations in mind: group winners take top seeds, groupmates avoid first round replays. A play-in round may be included if there’s an awkward number of groups.

Scorination will be once every 2 days, at the same time (probably mid-morning GMT [Golgothstani Meerkat Time]). The aim is to have a fairly short, compact tournament that doesn’t overlap too much with the Olympics or World Cup, both of which the Golgothastanis plan to watch despite no domestic involvement, and also because prolonged exposure to Golgothastani drinking water risks exposing visiting teams to health risks such as cholera, typhoid, and pregnancy.

In keeping with previous tournaments I have hosted, prior to the final there will be a ‘team of the tournament’ announced by Golgothastani media. Note that Golgothastani journalists have little appreciation for the nuances of football, so criteria such as fun and exciting plays, players with interesting off-field personal stories, or just people with weird names, are likely to factor into their considerations.

The RP bonus will be set appropriately high. Despite the debatably silly nature of the national profile, serious-times RP about match scores will earn high points, as will those who want to engage with the hosting country.

Golgothastan was able to purchase a “nearly new” version of xkoranate 0.3.3 that “fell off the back of a lorry”, and have since downloaded the Free Republics arena football modifications accidentally while surfing for porn. After testing the two formulae out, they were disappointed to find neither was the formula for glass crystal meth, and have reluctantly settled on the World Bowl XXXII + IFAF overtime as the better of the two.

In short, the aim is to have a short, fun tournament that promotes RP. I am happy to answer questions, but I am not going to be specific about tournament numbers because I think it’s better to wait until I am in control of sign-ups than rashly promise a 16-team tournament and have 17 and 18 sign up while I can’t control that.

[Sarzonia]

Sign-up list updated through Silver Beach.

Golgothastan's host bid is also noted and linked in the OP.

[Free Republics]

I withdraw.

[Saint Kanye]

Unfortunately, I won't be back to defend my title. I'm on hiatus.

Maybe the one after?

[Sarzonia]

It's a shame you're on hiatus right now. The Stars were itching to get you back for last time!

Administrative housekeeping matters:

Free Republics' withdrawal has been noted in the OP. We're currently at 14 sign-ups, so we'll go ahead and get started with the voting for host.

Your options for the host vote are as follows:

1. Accept the Golgothastan bid
2. Vote to re-open bids.

Since there is no other bid in the works, we will not be doing ranked choice voting. Anyone who is currently signed up is eligible to vote. You will have until 8 p.m. EDT on Wednesday, July 29 to TG your vote to Sarzonia.

[Sarzonia]

Just a reminder that we have less than 24 hours to go in the host voting.

I've received a few votes so far. Last chance to make your voice heard!

[United States of Devonta]

In

[Terre Septentrionale]

Looks like you need a 16th nation so I'm in!

[Sarzonia]

So, the voting deadline has passed. Here are the results:

1. ACCEPT the Golgothastan bid: 3 votes
2. RE-OPEN host bids: 0

Therefore, Golgothastan are the hosts of Arena Bowl VII. The tournament is now theirs!

[Golgothastan]

Thank you.

I am going to say as host that sign-ups are provisionally CLOSED now, as we have 16 sign-ups. Any new sign-ups will be accepted only should any of the currently signed-up teams withdrew prior to me conducting the group draw.