[Submitted] Trouble in Deed

[Cretox State]

I'm 95% certain an eminent domain issue exists. However, I don't believe there's a significant degree of overlap with this one.

Edit: Draft 2; removed option 4.

Edit: Draft 3; some adjustments for humor's sake.

Trouble in Deed

Validity: Must have market economy.

Description
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of @@CAPITAL@@, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the painfully grinning woman whose baby you're kissing, the properties are still owned by Bigtopians who emigrated back to their home country over fifty years ago.

Option 1
"Those decrepit buildings are really a blight on the place, m'kay?" asks the ever-smiling woman, who happens to be a City Councilor, wrestling your Minister of Public Relations over the baby. "It's not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across @@NAME@@ are dealing with this plague, and it's getting in the way of my new megamall, m'kay? Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize land that isn't being used, to be either put up for auction or directly built on, m'kay? I'd like my baby back now, m'kay?"

Effect: long bank appointments are a great way to lose your house

Option 2
"You can't do that!" screeches your rarely-seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house. "Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn't being used, especially if that property is owned by foreigners! Do you want an international incident on our hands?! The government needs to do things by the book, and not stir up any trouble. How about you personally call up every foreigner that owns unused property here, and ask if they'd be willing to sell?"

Effect: the government's calls to citizens on vacation are often mistaken for telephone scams

Option 3a
Validity: Must have cars

"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME@@!" declares vagrant @@RANDOMNAME@@, loading some expensive-looking furniture into the back of an unmarked van. "As far as anyone's concerned, the people owning these properties have ceased to exist. Us simple folk could really use them houses for living, social gatherings, and steali- borrowing anything not nailed down. If the owners come back, you can just give the land back to them. What've you got to lose?"

Effect: citizens return home to find strange men sleeping in their beds

Option 3b
Validity: Cannot have cars.

"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME@@!" declares vagrant @@RANDOMNAME@@, shoving some expensive-looking jewelry down his pocket. "As far as anyone's concerned, the people owning these properties have ceased to exist. Us simple folk could really use them houses for living, social gatherings, and steali- borrowing anything not nailed down. If the owners come back, you can just give the land back to them. What've you got to lose?"

Effect: citizens return home to find strange men sleeping in their beds

Trouble in Deed

Validity: Must have market economy.

Description
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of @@CAPITAL@@, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the woman whose baby you're kissing, the properties are still owned by Bigtopians who emigrated back to their home country over fifty years ago.

Option 1
"Those decrepit buildings are really a blight on the place, aren't they?" asks the woman, who happens to be a City Councilor. "It's not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across @@NAME@@ are dealing with this plague. We can't use the land for development, we often can't reach the owners, it exacerbates housing shortages, and it looks really ugly. Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize land that isn't being used, to be either put up for auction or directly built on. Also, could I have my baby back?"

Effect: citizens return from buying groceries to find their houses being sold to the highest bidder

Option 2
"You can't do that!" screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, your visibly shaking Minister of Public Relations. "Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn't being used, especially if that property is owned by foreigners! Do you want an international incident on our hands?!" After taking a moment to calm down, @@HE@@ continues, "Though I agree that we shouldn't just leave things as they are. How about you personally call up every foreigner that owns unused property here, and kindly ask them if they'd be willing to sell our government their land?"

Effect: the government's calls to citizens on vacation are often mistaken for telephone scams

Option 3
"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME@@!" declares vagrant @@RANDOMNAME@@, doing his business in the front yard of one of the houses, then covering the evidence with some leaves. "You folks could easily use the land for events, affordable housing, an' such, and the owners will be none the wiser so long as you clean up the right way. Me an' the boys can show you how it's done."

Effect: government officials take etiquette lessons from hobos

Trouble in Deed

Validity: Must have market economy.

Description
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of @@CAPITAL@@, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the woman whose baby you're kissing, the properties are still owned by Bigtopians who emigrated back to their home country over fifty years ago.

Option 1
"Those decrepit buildings are really a blight on the place, aren't they?" asks the woman, who happens to be a City Councilor. "It's not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across @@NAME@@ are dealing with this plague. We can't use the land for development, we often can't reach the owners, it exacerbates housing shortages, and it looks really ugly. Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize land that isn't being used, to be either put up for auction or directly built on. Also, could I have my baby back?"

Effect: citizens return from buying groceries to find their houses being sold to the highest bidder

Option 2
"You can't do that!" screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, your visibly shaking Minister of Public Relations. "Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn't being used, especially if that property is owned by foreigners! Do you want an international incident on our hands?!" After taking a moment to calm down, @@HE@@ continues, "Though I agree that we shouldn't just leave things as they are. How about you personally call up every foreigner that owns unused property here, and kindly ask them if they'd be willing to sell our government their land?"

Effect: the government's calls to citizens on vacation are often mistaken for telephone scams

Option 3
"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME!" declares vagrant @@RANDOMNAME@@, doing @@HIS@@ business in the front yard of one of the houses, then covering the evidence with some leaves. "You folks could easily use the land for events, affordable housing, an' such, and the owners will be none the wiser so long as you clean up the right way. Me an' the boys can show you how it's done."

Effect: government officials take etiquette lessons from hobos

Option 4
As you're preparing to leave, you get an anonymous call. In a thick accent, the caller says, "We have people. We hear everything. We may return. We still own houses. Houses in bad condition. You seize houses, is big problem. You keep all houses good shape like in Bigtopia, is not problem. Understand?"

Effect: abandoned shacks in the middle of nowhere are kept in pristine condition

[Honeydewistania]

I don't really see an incentive to choose option 4 though. The government loses out, but you become friendlier with Bigtopia, which is what option 2 does anyway.

[Cretox State]

I don't really see an incentive to choose option 4 though. The government loses out, but you become friendlier with Bigtopia, which is what option 2 does anyway.

The difference I was going for is that option 2 leads to negotiations with Bigtopians over buying the houses, while option 4 leads to the government taking responsibility for maintaining all residential properties, abandoned or not (and not getting the land at all).

[Honeydewistania]

I don't really see an incentive to choose option 4 though. The government loses out, but you become friendlier with Bigtopia, which is what option 2 does anyway.

The difference I was going for is that option 2 leads to negotiations with Bigtopians over buying the houses, while option 4 leads to the government taking responsibility for maintaining all residential properties, abandoned or not (and not getting the land at all).

Still, no one would choose option 4, its wasting money

[Cretox State]

Still, no one would choose option 4, its wasting money

It's not wasting money, it's creatively spending to:

• Increase corruption
• Increase government size
• Increase taxation
• Increase tourism
• Increase niceness
• Increase inclusiveness
• Decrease crime

In all seriousness though, I'll remove option 4 if for no other reason than to slim the issue down. You make a good point; it is quite similar to option 2.

[Honeydewistania]

Still, no one would choose option 4, its wasting money

It's not wasting money, it's creatively spending to:

• Increase corruption
• Increase government size
• Increase taxation
• Increase tourism
• Increase niceness
• Increase inclusiveness
• Decrease crime

In all seriousness though, I'll remove option 4 if for no other reason than to slim the issue down. You make a good point; it is quite similar to option 2.

I would had thought option three would decrease crime and increase all the niceness and taxes since you're giving them a place to stay, but it doesn't matter now since the option was removed

[Cretox State]

Removed option 4. I think option 3 works fine as the silly option without needing another one.

[Australian rePublic]

In some countries, squatters legally own the land they squat on, under certain circumstances

[Cretox State]

In some countries, squatters legally own the land they squat on, under certain circumstances

Does an issue explicitly implement this? Also, isn't the eviction of squatters already covered by an existing issue?

[Pythaga]

"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME!"

You're missing the closing @@ on the second macro.

[Cretox State]

"What happens in @@NAME@@ stays in @@NAME!"

You're missing the closing @@ on the second macro.

Fixed.

[SherpDaWerp]

I would also macro-ize the speaker of option 3 - "doing @@HIS@@ business", rather than "doing his business".

[Cretox State]

I would also macro-ize the speaker of option 3 - "doing @@HIS@@ business", rather than "doing his business".

Done.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Good issue, can't majorly fault it. Nice delivery of the premise, good narrative construction.

Maybe a little bit prosaic, but its well executed. Options 1 and 2 are very solid. Option 3 is amusing, but it seems like more of a government-decision would be not to use the houses but to say that anyone can use the property while its unclaimed, but that the owner can reclaim it on return. Some sort of CTE reference might be amusing.

And I dunno, just add more funny here and there. Make options 1 and 2 have some laughs in them.

It's already at a pass level, so aim for excellence.

[Cretox State]

Draft 3 is now up. I tried to insert a bit more humor.

[Cretox State]

Doing a feedback bump for this.

[Drasnia]

Is there any way to condense Option 1 a bit? It seems a bit too long for my taste.

"You can't do that!" screeches your rarely-seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house.

I think in your bid to make it more funny, you've gone a bit overboard in this spot. It feels out of place to have such a wacky speaker 2 compared to both 1 and 3.

doing @@HIS@@ business in the front yard of one of the houses, then covering the evidence with some leaves.

This might stray a bit too far as well. Describe it a bit more tastefully.

Pretty solid issue.

[Cretox State]

Is there any way to condense Option 1 a bit? It seems a bit too long for my taste.

"You can't do that!" screeches your rarely-seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house.

I think in your bid to make it more funny, you've gone a bit overboard in this spot. It feels out of place to have such a wacky speaker 2 compared to both 1 and 3.

doing @@HIS@@ business in the front yard of one of the houses, then covering the evidence with some leaves.

This might stray a bit too far as well. Describe it a bit more tastefully.

Pretty solid issue.

How about now?

[Candensia]

I think it's pretty solid.

Add some quotation marks back to end of option 1. I think they wandered off.

[Cretox State]

I think it's pretty solid.

Add some quotation marks back to end of option 1. I think they wandered off.

The question is where they wandered off to.

[Cretox State]

I'd like to submit this at some point later this week, but I don't want to rush things.

[Fauxia]

I feel like some leaders may not embrace the kissing babies stereotype so easily. But I’m nitpicking, the issue looks good to me.

I think it's pretty solid.

Add some quotation marks back to end of option 1. I think they wandered off.

The question is where they wandered off to.

Bigtopia, according to the issue.

[Cretox State]

The question is where they wandered off to.

Bigtopia, according to the issue.

"The missing end quotations somehow slipped through the editors, and the issue was unceremoniously published. They would remain unnoticed and unfixed until 50 years later, when Max Barry's vat-produced grandson started up his first nation in NS2: Electric Boogaloo."

I feel like some leaders may not embrace the kissing babies stereotype so easily. But I’m nitpicking, the issue looks good to me.

Your Minister of Public Relations organized a cliché political stunt and got into a brawl with a local politician. Why haven't you fired this horrible person?

[Cretox State]

Bumped to Last Call; tentatively aiming to submit over the weekend.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

It's good! My only (very minor) issue is that when a politician kisses a baby, it's usually a regular person's baby rather than that of someone important like a councillor. As-is, it just feels a little off.

Other than that, good luck whenever you decide to submit!