Staypuftonia and the Illegal Secession of the Adrinov Region

[Staypuftonia]

The Adrinov Region, located in the northeast of Staypuftonia, has neither gone through the legal channels to declare independence or to become an autonomous region. It has declared independence illegally. Therefore Staypuftonia will take the Adrinov Region back.

[The Cult of Cthullu]

Cthullu cultists promptly enter the Adrinov region disguised as humanitarian workers, before converting the entire population to the Cult of Cthullu.

The region then suddenly and anomalously disappears off the face of the Earth. Several hours later, new rock formations appear in the seabed in a region of the Southern Pacific Ocean, with man-made structures that bear an uncanny resemblance with buildings that could previously have been found in Adrinov.

[Staypuftonia]

OK, this is unrealistic.

[Staypuftonia]

Staypuftonian troops are now in a war with the Adrinov Region seperatists.

[Staypuftonia]

The Free Staypuftonian Army has already liberated most of the Adrinov region from the murderers and tyrants that are the Adrinov separatists.

[Staypuftonia]

About 10 nuclear bombs had bombed South African air bases. 5 had bombed the Adrinov region.

Staypuftonia was gaining land.

The Ambassador, Luan Ferrer, was threatening South Africa. Staypuftonia had more bombs than that.

Fighters brought down a lot of South African bombers. They were new.

[Staypuftonia]

no, I'm not from Singapore. What made you think that?

OK. I'll end this war in exchange for the islands of Koeppenick and Vrydlaand.

[Staypuftonia]

Status quo will be kept until a peace deal has been signed.

Alternatively, Adrinov Island and the Adrinov Region will be split in two in exchange for the previously mentioned islands.
Or, Adrinov Island will be kept in Staypuftonia and instead the overseas territory of the Larsson Islands will be given to South Africa.

[Staypuftonia]

If we assume western Adrinov to be about 9,586km large, then I think the islands are equally large.

The treaty is signed.

The club Alson FC will now be part of the South African league, and the clubs Adenau-Koeppenick FC, Koeppenick Penguins, River Plate (Vrydlaand) and Coldanshoop FC will now be part of the Staypuftonian S-League.

But in the event of the collapse of the Federation what happens to western Adrinov?

Possible terms: In case of the Federation's collapse, Staypuftonia will pay 150 billion to the succeeding country if they decide to allow Adrinov to become part of Staypuftonia.

[Staypuftonia]

Eastern Adrinov will now become independent as a puppet state of Staypuftonia.

(gaah, I should've made that decision in the first place.)

[Staypuftonia]

In order to not stoke a war between them and Staypuftonia.

Of course, Staypuftonia will retain the right to annex Eastern Adrinov at any time.

[Staypuftonia]

I would release an unified Adrinov. However a referendum has to happen first.

[Staypuftonia]

Yes, but only because they didn't go through the proper channels to gain independence.

If they had followed the proper channels this would not have happened.

[Staypuftonia]

Well, I might be up for releasing Eastern Adrinov if there's ever a referendum for them and Western Adrinov to unify as an independent country.

[Staypuftonia]

Well fuck it then, I'll just go to war.

Some old bombers bomb the capital of South Africa.

[The Cult of Cthullu]

The Cult of Cthullu has only one goal in mind: To destabilise countries around the world so that when the sleeping one wakes, there is none left to resist him.


To this end, we will be aiding South Africa in its attempts to have control over the Adrinov Region, such that many more future wars may be fought over it.


The Cult, although not a country, therefore declares war on Staypuftonia.


Several Cult members form an alliance with local Adrinovian nationalist groups, and decide to carry out insurgent attacks, bombings, assassinations and public shootings within Staypuftonia itself in order to destabilise the country.

Terror Attack 1:

On July 17th 2020, 12 men clad entirely in black sweaters, winter pants and balaclavas storm a shopping mall in Geylang Lake. They are carrying an AK-47 and a UZI each; as they enter the mall, they begin shooting wildly at civilians, causing over 48 deaths and 12 injuries immediately.

They also rob a few ATMs and bank offices within the shopping centre, before taking 53 people in a clothes store hostage. The hostages have explosives strapped to them, and are taken to the entrance of the mall where they are forced to kneel in front of the attackers. Negotiations between police and the insurgents break down, and 34 out of the 53 hostages are shot dead by the insurgents; another 4 are killed by accidental fire from the police. None of the explosives strapped to the hostages were detonated; forensic analysis later reveals that the bombs had enough combined energy to level the entire mall.

Total Casualties:
Civilian: 86 dead, 25 injured
Law Enforcement: 1 dead, 2 injured
Insurgent: 12 dead


Terror Attack 2:

On July 24th 2020, a military base located in Easterm Adrinovian region was suddenly and viciously attacked by insurgents.

At around 3.40 a.m. of that day, several jeeps, armoured vehicles, tanks as well as sleeping tents and quarters of soldiers suddenly and simultaneously blew up; later investigations revealed bombs had been hidden within the objects that had blown up. The camp alarm was immediately rang. A convoy containing 4 trucks full of insurgents crashed into the base, killing several sentries that did not get out of the way.

A total of 104 insurgents then jumped out of the trucks, opening fire at the soldiers present; many soldiers were caught off guard, as they were still in shock and confusion from the earlier explosions; a brutal firefight occurred, involving the use of RPGs, several grenades and poison gas. By 5.20 a.m., the use of poison gas had killed many Staypuftonian soldiers within the camp that were not aware of the deployment of the gas.

By the time the reinforcements arrived at 5.30 a.m., around 75% of the camp's soldiers had been killed or injured. A total of 93 bodies at the scene were identified as belonging to the insurgents; the other 11 are still not accounted for.

Total Casualties:
Staypuftonian Military: 147 dead, 45 injured
Insurgents: 93 dead, 11 missing, presumed alive

Note: A few hours after this attack, the Federation declared war on Staypuftonia for the bombing of Salisbury; the destruction of the military base was crucial in initial advancements of South African forces.


Terror Attack 3:

On July 25th 2020, an explosion happened in a crowded public park in Geylang Lake. The explosion happened near a popular picnic site for families; the resulting blast was strong enough to break the glass in windows that were several kilometres away.

The Cult of Cthullu later sent a letter to the government of Staypuftonia, taking responsibility for the action.

Total Casualties:
Civilian: Still being counted; currently, 118 dead, 45 injured
Insurgent: N/A