World Bowl XXXIX ~ Everything Thread

by **Saint Kanye** » Wed Jul 08, 2020 7:58 pm

LATE PICK SIX HELPS SURGE UPSET MAROONS, 31-30

by Adam Murphy

KARDASHIA - Less than two and a half minutes remain in the fourth quarter of the World Bowl XXXIX game between the St. Kanye Surge and the visiting Xanneria Maroons. The latter rolled to a 23-7 halftime lead, but the former, not wanting to fall into a three-game losing streak, outscored their opponents and closed the gap to 30-24. However, the ball is in the Maroons' hands as they aimed to grow their lead. First and ten on the Surge's 32. A short pass by Kwame Marks to Nick Bonello went for a gain of six. Second and four on the 26. A five-yard run, courtesy of Elliot Perez, was enough to move the chains. First and ten again, now on the 21-yard line. It looked like Perez was going to run again, so the defense focused on him, but it was a fake. Marks dropped back to throw to another Perez, Prisim that is, who was already making his way to the endzone. The ball left Marks' hands, after which it was caught perfectly.

By Surge safety Gary Bradman, that is.

After the interception, the Xannerian wideouts switched their focus to trying to chase down Bradman. But the Yeezie spun and dodged his way past them, sprinting all the way to the other side of Pencurve Electronics Field, earning six points and tying the game at 30. Kicker James Rasputin kept his perfect streak alive as he broke the tie with the extra point conversion.

St. Kanye then went for an onside kick. They recovered it, and simply took a knee to seal the win. It was an upset too, as they were ranked thirty-third, way below Xanneria's fourteenth. R.J. Linetti had a great game as the new starting quarterback for the Surge, with 25 of 31 passes made for 320 yards, two passing touchdowns, one rushing touchdown, and zero interceptions or fumbles (QBR 131.18). "Good game", Linetti said in an interview. "I thought for sure we were gonna killed again, but we once again made some adjustments at halftime, and this time, that was enough to lead us to victory." The Surge improved to 0.500 again (4-4) while the Maroons dropped to 5-3. The Kanyeans will be put to the test again as they visit the Group B leaders, the Taeshan Fitin' Falcons (7-1), while the Xannerians will hope to keep the already eliminated Silver Beach squad winless in nine games.

Scoring Information:

XAN - P. Perez 27 pass from Marks (Stankowitz kick) XAN 7-0
XAN - field goal Stankowitz 33 XAN 10-0

STK - field goal Rasputin 48 XAN 10-3
XAN - field goal Stankowitz 35 XAN 13-3
XAN - field goal Stankowitz 25 XAN 16-3
XAN - Hart 16 pass from Marks (Stankowitz kick) XAN 23-3

STK - Linetti 17 run (Rasputin kick) XAN 23-10
XAN - P. Perez 10 pass from Marks (Stankowitz kick) XAN 30-10

STK - Jackson 24 pass from Linetti (Rasputin kick) XAN 30-17
STK - Moore 38 pass from Linetti (Rasputin kick) XAN 30-24
STK - Bradman 79 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 31-30

Schedule:

Matchday 1: W 24-12 @ Jeckland (UR*)
Matchday 2: W 20-15 vs. Lisander (30)
Matchday 3: L 7-34 @ Xanneria (14)
Matchday 4: L 9-30 vs. Taeshan (7)
Matchday 5: W 20-0 @ Silver Beach (UR)
BREAK
Matchday 6: L 16-21 vs. Jeckland (UR)
Matchday 7: L 6-15 @ Lisander (30)
Matchday 8: W 31-30 vs. Xanneria (14)
Matchday 9: White/Purple @ Taeshan (7)
Matchday 10: Purple/Purple vs. Silver Beach (UR)

*Unranked.

by **Delaclava** » Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:12 pm

The end of the group stage draws near. For the teams who are still in contention, congratulations on making it this far. All you need to do to get to Delaclava is stay focused, be ready for the last two games, and stick to the gameplan.

Gameday 9 cutoff!

Qualification Key:

Qualified as group winner
Qualified
Cannot win group
Eliminated

Group A
Drawkland 30–3 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Drunk People at the Local Tavern 3–20 Delaclava
Transmondian Commonwealth of New England 48–0 Equestria

  Group A                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Drawkland                                      9    8   1   222   79 +143
2 Delaclava                                      9    7   2   204  127  +77
3 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England       9    6   3   198  109  +89
4 Royal Kingdom of Quebec                        9    4   5   141  155  −14
5 Drunk People at the Local Tavern               9    1   8    71  217 −146
6 Equestria                                      9    1   8    74  223 −149

Drawkland wins the group if they either beat Delaclava or lose by no more than 11.
Delaclava qualifies with a win or a Transmondian Commonwealth of New England loss, and wins the group if they beat Drawkland by at least 12.
Transmondian Commonwealth of New England has the H2H advantage on Delaclava (1-1, +1 PD) and qualifies with a win and a Delaclava loss.

Group B
Taeshan 43–10 Saint Kanye
Lisander 6–10 Jeckland
Silver Beach 14–0 Xanneria

  Group B                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Taeshan                                        9    8   1   191   62 +129
2 Jeckland                                       9    6   3   191  116  +75
3 Xanneria                                       9    5   4   181  111  +70
4 Saint Kanye                                    9    4   5   143  200  −57
5 Lisander                                       9    3   6   105  133  −28
6 Silver Beach                                   9    1   8    30  219 −189

Jeckland qualifies with a win or a Xanneria loss.
Xanneria qualifies with a win, a Jeckland loss, and if the margins of victory combine to at least 6. (Their H2H is tied at 1-1, +0)

Group C
Geektopia 30–7 Velstrania
Martune 13–13 Main Nation Ministry (16–13 OT)
Squidroidia 23–6 Krytenia

  Group C                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Main Nation Ministry                           9    8   1   231  129 +102
2 Geektopia                                      9    8   1   208   86 +122
3 Velstrania                                     9    5   4   167  157  +10
4 Squidroidia                                    9    3   6   118  138  −20
5 Martune                                        9    2   7    69  195 −126
6 Krytenia                                       9    1   8   108  196  −88

The winner of the Main Nation Ministry/Geektopia game will win the group.

Group D
Cassadaigua 17–6 Nagore
The Sarian 34–13 The Jovannic
Ko-oren 10–0 TJUN-ia

  Group D                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cassadaigua                                    9    7   2   169   78  +91
2 Ko-oren                                        9    7   2   140   44  +96
3 TJUN-ia                                        9    6   3   169   78  +91
4 The Sarian                                     9    4   5   144  186  −42
5 The Jovannic                                   9    3   6   115  215 −100
6 Nagore                                         9    0   9    85  221 −136

Cassadaigua will win the group with: a) a win, or b) a loss, a Ko-oren loss, and a TJUN-ia loss. Cassadaigua wins a two-way tie over Ko-oren on H2H (1-1, +3).
Ko-oren will win the group with: a) a win and a Cassadaigua loss, or b) a loss, a Cassadaigua loss, and a TJUN-ia win. This ties these three teams at 7-3. They would be sorted by their three-way H2H: Ko-oren 3-1, Cassadaigua 2-2, TJUN-ia 1-3.
TJUN-ia is eliminated with a H2H disadvantage to each of Cassadaigua (1-1, -11) and Ko-oren (0-2, -27), and therefore with the H2H disadvantage in a three-way tie.

Group E
Western Fardelshufflestein 6–13 Banija
Vangaziland 60–11 HUElavia
Alba and Cymru 0–6 Terre Septentrionale

  Group E                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Terre Septentrionale                           9    8   1   147   76  +71
2 Vangaziland                                    9    8   1   258   73 +185
3 Banija                                         9    5   4   207  160  +47
4 Western Fardelshufflestein                     9    3   6    96  188  −92
5 HUElavia                                       9    3   6   155  193  −38
6 Alba and Cymru                                 9    0   9    63  236 −173

The winner of the Terre Septentrionale/Vangaziland game wins the group.

Group F
Ranoria 13–3 Newmanistan
Bongo Johnson 26–7 Lovisa
Inner AginanaUsordia 24–13 Damukuni

  Group F                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Ranoria                                        9    9   0   243   74 +169
2 Newmanistan                                    9    7   2   165   78  +87
3 Inner AginanaUsordia                           9    6   3   201  135  +66
4 Lovisa                                         9    3   6   155  250  −95
5 Bongo Johnson                                  9    2   7   111  169  −58
6 Damukuni                                       9    0   9   115  284 −169

Inner AgininaUsordia qualifies with a win of more than 7 over Newmanistan. Otherwise, Newmanistan qualifies.

Group G
The Greater Nordics 20–3 Sarzonia
Free Republics 36–16 Torisakia
Kohnhead 14–13 Northwest Kalactin

  Group G                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Free Republics                                 9    8   1   255   91 +164
2 Torisakia                                      9    6   3   208  188  +20
3 The Greater Nordics                            9    5   4   132  101  +31
4 Kohnhead                                       9    3   6   131  158  −27
5 Sarzonia                                       9    3   6   107  216 −109
6 Northwest Kalactin                             9    2   7   132  211  −79

The winner of the Torisakia/Greater Nordics game advances. (They also inherit the Golden Bowl, currently held by The Greater Nordics.)

Group H
Abanhfleft 28–7 United Civil Republic
Karditan 0–37 Allamunnic States
South Covello 37–14 Mathuvan Union

  Group H                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Allamunnic States                              9    8   1   240   12 +228
2 Abanhfleft                                     9    7   2   123   82  +41
3 South Covello                                  9    6   3   150  129  +21
4 Karditan                                       9    4   5    99  103   −4
5 Mathuvan Union                                 9    2   7    84  164  −80
6 United Civil Republic                          9    0   9    30  236 −206

Abanhfleft wins the group with a win over Allamunnic States of at least 30. Otherwise, Allamunnic States wins the group.
South Covello is eliminated with a H2H disadvantage to Abanhfleft (1-1, -3).

by **Xanneria** » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:04 pm

Grapes Smash Maroons
By Gene Bryant

Lord I was born a scramblin' man! WR Nick Bonello takes a WR option pass!

Saint Kanye - As days go for Kickers, 3-4 is usually good. Making your first three kicks then the last one can happen, but if the last is a game winner that you missed you may be one Xannerian kicker named Stefan Stankowitz. He has done an admirable job with kicking and should be royally and presidential commended but mistakes were made. The game was a QB Duel as Kwame Marks had a good day for once. Kwame went as a WB passing, 18-27 for 295 yards and 2TDs. His counterpart Landon Klein had a 27-40 for 340 day with 3 tds and 1INT. A narrow game had to deal with offense, it did end with a total of 61 points. Overall the game was a thriller and an exhausted Maroons hopefully can get to the play offs. It should be easy with The two teams left on the schedule and those two teams being Silver Beach and Lisander two of the weaker teams in the group> What will happen is to be seen as Lisander did comes close to beating us, but in the end it won't matter much of Stankowitz as hopefully he can rebound in the future.

1Q
(XAN) 3-0
(STK) 3-7
(STK) 3-14
(STK) 3-21
2Q
(XAN) 13-21
(XAN) 16-21
(STK) 16-20
3Q
(STK) 16-24
(XAN) 19-27
4Q
(STK) 19-31
(XAN) 27-31
(XAN) 30-31

STAT LEADER
PASSING: Landon Klein (STK) 27-40 340 3 TDS / 1INT
RUSHING: Elliot Perez (XAN) 31 Rushes 204 yrds 2tds
RECEIVING: Patrick Moore (STK) 10 catches 194 yards 1 TD
DEFENSE: Gary Bradman (STK) 12 tkls 1 sack

by **TJUN-ia** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:16 am

It would be in Mayara where TJUN-ia's unexpected dream came to an end. 10-0 the final score, a Robin Reeman TD to Golatisu Junstarin and an Abner Bennett FG ended our chances to qualify on three-way H2H with them and Cassadiagua.

But Gus McKerrin has nothing to be ashamed of. He was never expected to be in a position to be in the running for the WB, especially during his first season as Head Coach. Everyone played their parts, but it just isn't their time yet.

We must play one more game before we hang up the helmets until...maybe the Olympics? New Washington is expected to give this team the homecoming it deserves as it takes on The Sarian in The Gardens. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group D)
MD1: vs Cassadiagua (11) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 21-14 (3rd/1-0)
MD2: @The Jovannic (UR) - De Stadium Le Buile, Buile W 21-0 (1st/2-0)
MD3: vs Nagore (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 44-3 (1st/3-0)
MD4: vs Ko-oren (3) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington L 0-17 (3rd/3-1)
MD5: @The Sarian (49) W 20-7 (3rd/4-1)
------------------------OFF-DAY------------------------
MD6: @Cassadiagua (11) L 0-17 (3rd/4-2)
MD7: vs The Jovannic (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 48-7 (3rd/5-2)
MD8: @Nagore (UR) W 13-6 (3rd/6-2)
MD9: @Ko-oren (3) - Exhibition Centre, Mayara L 0-10 (3rd/6-3/OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED)
MD10: vs The Sarian (49) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:30 am

Childhood, Traces
PART 5 - Water Under the Bridge

Sometimes I ask people: If there's this Golden Goblet, where you are promised to life of peace and continued flow of gold before your eyes, but you may have to lose all those around you, would you? That was something that Brock Andreas Lundrigan used to ask me or my cousin, whenever we had a particularly unanswerable or challenging question. It is in this that I would like to go into a brief look into a decade and half of my second uncle's life.

As his nephew, Uncle Brock came to me in a manner of an odd, usual man who just happened to be pretty good at not disappointing people. While fairly well-travelled, Uncle Brock seemed to have cruised easily too. His coaching career, which had started and ended at his alma mater, the simplest kind where he won 8 national titles and brought about a dozen to the national team in his twenty seven years in charge (2008-35), without any scandal.

But just putting him as an average championship coach is something that doesn't necessarily agree upon. He still prided himself, on being able to find the oddities and くせ that he would find in remarkable regularities in himself when he could have lost that touch long beforehand. This had likely come from a habit that originated back in his youth days when he was a pupil and then assistant of late William Yi (1956-2037), 12th Earl of Bathurst, fencing coach and late-imperial Petrogradian literature lecturer for 38 years, he was used to being mentioned alongside patronymics Brock Andreasovich, and he had used to say variations of that in the public.

Always oddly dressed, he came to places in the most dispatched of manners, whether it be occasional trotting with travelling bards that frequent the Quebecois short-distance trains or his love of baking edibles to his children and nephews, something that his wife, a legendary runner in their small city of Cornwall, Frontenac province, little understands (for good reasons) to this day.

Brock Andreas was also involved in various risky positions, which he fortunately had far less stakes to deal with than the globetrotting auntie ever did. Because of that, Brock Andreas it wasn’t so much over whether he wanted to make a career out of risking his prospects or even himself, but rather done out of instinct and occasional whoopsie daisies. Combine that with his element as a hotheaded man who had gotten into more troubles than you’d imagine, he ended up often being on odds with the RQFF and of course the athletics administration (even under former AD Sir. Philippe Ahn, which was quite bizarre in my views), but that's something no one's to be surprised over, as I tell you the his story.

----

In 1996, in what was a fairly unusual move for children of Kingston Collegiate School (where he went on a fencing scholarship from year seven, straight outta the island), the second of Lundrigan boys went from the big city to a small town. It was arranged that Brock Lundrigan, the first of many Greater Kingston Area (GKA) junior national team members on ‘exodus’, would go to Queen’s College, on a generous athletic scholarship that Your Grace awarded out of his wage as head coach rather than lecturer salary. The family continued to stay in the Island while the younger siblings continued to attend Sandringham School. Since living expenses were covered with the scholarship, uncle Brock ended up saving whatever little money his mother sent for stipend into his savings account.

He left Kingston for what he thought would be a short journey to become an engineer; but the life had caused his ways to turn around and eventually end up elsewhere on the growing pains of a squad under revival. In his freshman year, after four stellar tournaments, braving through the unsuspecting eyes, he broke the odds and ended up the anchor (OOC: the ace position on team events) position of the Men’s Epee depth chart: he had a series of stomach cramps the night before, and placed 31st on the individual event of 1997 QIS Championships.

His sophomore season, the year he chose mechanical engineering, was a disappointment too. At the beginning there was a major momentum, as it had appeared likely that the Golden Gaels were to win their first ever national fencing championship, but that's not how it turned out as they ended with a third place finish. But at least he learned to overcome his fear against fellow junior national teammates on the elimination stage and by then, his eyes were glimmering with the prospects of the national championship banner. Pictures of St. Croix’s 9 championship victories, 5 on men and 4 on women's side, on Coach Yi’s office both intimidated and empowered many to the spirit that I was ingrained to back in my baseball player days.

Fortunately he had to wait only a year longer - exactly a year later, Brock Andreasovich was celebrating, confetti to confetti, at the national championships with his first of many national banners, the first of six the good guys would win under Your Grace between that 1999 win to 2004 double that has not been done in Cornwall.

Of course, it was something that Coach Yi had been there before- his ‘first’ of twenty-one national championships in three schools began on a late Sunday, February of 1988, when, as interim head coach, he won the first of eight banners to begin a dynasty for the perennial Quebec City powerhouse (which, eventually, were to end with his return to alma mater). But still, the thrill to win at alma mater was enough for the Bathurst native to land famous words that eventually became that of Sir. Joel-Lynn McCarthy, the legendary sabreur and team captain who became a famous actor.

A rebel is always going to swish and dazzle through the brightest stages,
But he will always find his way back home by the virtue of God, and only the God.

And to be frank, those days seemed to have enamoured my uncle, a rural nobleman’s second son, with a particular fire. The timely ascension of the championship victory, and the continued arrival of junior national team athletes (which had already begun with my longtime senior at Erskine Collegiate, Christopher Tsu-Ahn), seemed to have brought everybody a cause for celebration. There once was a well-celebrated banquet between the athletics and the fencing teams presided by Your Grace, which was joined by his college friend, a(n) (in-)famous cross country coach Ike Vonnegut whom Dr. Yi, practically untouchable by the administration due to his hereditary ranks, insisted on asking when Vonnegut, who had fallen short in previous three years, is finally going to bring a banner. The XC coach, who was annoyed enough at his college friend for teasing him on his prolonged process to undermine the evil athletics empire (OOC: or track and field, in North American terms) Gyeongbuk A&M had built upon tyrannical Stu Conroy-Harris, neatly countered by Vonnegut inquiring how the dirt of Fort Byron seem to only harden after rain and all the hard words said at how battered they were.

Of course, such remarks were remembered nowadays, as part of the folklore of the few (out of four dozens who were there), but the truths were indeed spoken and it is there where uncle Brock, a happy camper, were to eventually fall into a storm that were to brew out of the other team that were there on the banquet.

A recent interview to Sir. Philippe Ahn (1956-), the institution's legendary A.D. also known for his coaching rivalry with Your Grace, has revealed that the situation indeed reflects into the reality of the times. He, trying to find ways to beat his college friend (it is famously known that Vonnegut, Yi and Ahn were housemates and lifelong friends all the way back to their freshman days) while leading the charge at Universite de Gaspe, was certainly not there but he did explain, perhaps, a minor context that added the third person's view to the matter at the time:

'....you see, Asher. It does reflect well with how the things were back then. There once was a time when selected few sports, for example football, basketball and whatnot, were particularly valued by the administrations in past. Of course, that makes sense if you think about how Queen's College, located in Cornwall of all places, can only do so much by focusing on few teams that can win! But that did cause decades of disparity among Gaels teams, between the haves and have-nots.

'And it was something that the Duke of Bathurst (William Yi), myself and of course, Ike Vonnegut had to deal with. It was year 1974 when we, floormates and all looking for something big, became friends at Evers Hall residence. Unfortunately, we happened to pick wrong sports back then and well, got underappreciated because of that. Still, we had high hopes and perhaps looked to come back someday because why not? Big men dream big, as you know.

'So all three of us went different ways for something good- William went to Quebec City where he finished grad school at St. Croix, coached at Saguenay for a bit and then USC again, before he went home. Because he was a nobleman, the preppiest of us three, he had an implied sense of indismissable clause on his tenures, and really was able to come back when he wanted to. He just embraced that and went along with whatever he advocated for, whether it's funnelling his own cash to the team or keep flying them to Commonwealth tournaments, et cetera. He was a lucky bastard of a friend to have, now that I look at it.

'Then there was Ike. He went to Kingston to do a MA in psychology before heading back to Cornwall where he wrapped up a successful running career, created a local club and started coaching the distance running program at alma mater. When he came back, he proved to the world that he too was a magician, in that he did so much with next to no resource available- not even a single fieldhouse was given to them or even considered during my predecessor's time- and it did enough to eventually dethrone the Evil Empire of a pedophile.

'Unfortunately, while he was right...he was also bit too honest with the words and that tongue of his, which we all loved for how honest and far-sighting it was, did earn him a particular infamy upon the athletics administration. It did make sense, for all those who knew him....Being the dissident among us three even back then he, of course, stayed that way, ploughing through many challenges for women's distance running and equality, which I'm sure your auntie Brianne has told you about. But, perhaps because he probably disturbed too many nod-shakers, his teams were always left behind on events and seldom appreciated for achievements, even though the women went top 5 for seven straight years and men top ten for six straight. For what they couldn't do on William because he was the future Duke of Bathurst, they showed enough on his friend.

'And finally, 'tis was me. I stayed two more years for teacher's college, got married to my girlfriend Lise halfway through, and then coached at Ashcroft College and University of Ottawa before Gaspe. To be honest, I wanted to come back, but because my parents were ill, I knew I wanted to coach while tending for them. So things got delayed and I ended up spending another decade spending time with them, before they were greeted by the Lord. I had accepted the dream position thereafter in 2008. Unfortunately, neither William nor Ike were no longer there and I'm sure I can explain a bit more on that...'

-----

You probably figured out from that piece alone that things did not go the way imagined for either anybody. I mean, of course, uncle Brock’s story would not have been a story if all things went happily ever after, which in this case, would have meant that he stayed there, won a couple of Commonwealth Golds as coach, and been living there ever since.

Of course, that’s not how it eventually turned out and that’s why we have a story here.

Anyways, during his senior season everything has changed. Now, with an expectation to defend the crown, there wasn't as much thrill, not to mention no celebratory speeches, and even victories have become part of the norm. In a team where they had already lost significant depth, it proved impossible to come up not disappointed in that they were going to not win the men’s banner that year. After several underwhelming months in an eventual third-place finish that February 2000, at Royal Arlenia Pavilion, Quebec City; my uncle retired from fencing for a coaching career while his eclipsing replacement, greatest Quebecois epeeist in this century by the name of Felix Ahn, spent the last months of his high school career in once again, Erskine.

But before he was to accept the assistant coach offer by Your Grace, another warfront had emerged and he had to make tough choices. His dillemma over the next destination, a particular headcase for my grandparents, was complicated by an unexpected factor. Uncle Brock had three relationships over undergrad, Alexanne Rogers, Yi Se-Ryeong, and Brianne Kenna. Brianne, the second of three children of a professor whom my friends have taken classes with, also happens to be my aunt.

Aunt Brianne (1981-), the two-time QIS cross country champion and gold medalist on 2006 Quebecois Commonwealth Games held in Maracaibo, Nuevo Caracas, was a woman who embodied quirkiness, honesty and of course, not letting the prejudices get away with the world around her with a nod or two. That had of course meant in those days that her, a second auntie (her sister), and a lot of those who raced under Coach Vonnegut on club and/or college level, were very often going to be unfairly criticised and of course, underestimated by the eminense grise of Quebecois athletics who, in every way possible, attempted to play favourites.

Anyways, how they met was very straightforward. Automatically ending up as the academic face of the athletics program during his time there, Dr. Yi was also the freshmen mentorship program coordinator where the seniors, coming from various athletics teams, were to mentor the freshmen on academics. A mild jokester, he often had a habit of place certain student-athletes he had known for many purposes on certain groups, and decided to do the same when he thought it would be a funny joke to have his team captain mentor with none other than the longtime student and star recruit of his friend, Ike Vonnegut.

So by the virtue of coinkydink, Brock Andreasovich, a senior who had just broken out of a relationship that grandparents had long disapproved for a morals-related, was placed to mentor over Brianne. Uncle used to tell me how he was partly scared when he found out about the arrangement, not because he didn't like her or anything, but because he was nervous mentoring a two-time Commonwealth juniors champion, a youth national team member, and not to mention a student of Coach Ike. But after some persuasion by a couple of teammates he did not quit, and eventually hearts smittened by that November, as Brianne led the women's team to a first XC title in history. There Brock Andreasovich, who took a weekend off to watch his mentee win it all in Sept-Iles (12 hrs away by train), had to realise why he had wasted 200Q£ of trainfare and tourist attraction, and that he had to face the moment of truth to all as well.

As for the rest, it's not as clear. There exists various renditions as to how got together, but three different accounts seemed to agree that he skipped the team practice as waltz happened in his living room on a late November evening, and that by the very next day's practice, Coach Yi didn't bother to ask why he had skipped. He just sang along his favourite song and walked away.

Unfortunately, what Coach Yi did not take into account on what was going to happen, as the year 2000 crushed lots of hopes and happiness for the poor uncle of mine. Obviously the team failed to win the nationals, which was a huge downer, but that wasn't even close for him. If anything, it partly came at the price of being with someone he unexpectedly fell in love with. Since the dead man cannot talk, I will once again bring back Sir. Philippe Ahn, dear reader:

'So yes. That Gyeongbuk A&M XC dynasty did crumble and eventually collapsed by the mid-2000s. But how it happened wasn't simply by the virtue of California, Abitibi and USC successfully overcoming them on men's, or briefly Queen's College and not to mention USC, Goose Bay, UPRI on women's teams. Also Kingston on both sides of course. That would be justifiable, but simply not fitting.

'I'm sure we all know that the certain Gyeongbuk A&M State coach, whose name I refuse to say out of my oral health, was a convicted pedophile who eventually spent his last decades in Gotham. But before that, we have to remember two things:

- a) on how the Quebecois Athletics Federation and the Gyeongbuk A&M University were just quietly placing the complaint files of abuses and medical misdiagnosis under the folder, that as long as the Aggies were winning banners in 10s and 20s
- b) on how we just let people of the community, however well-intentioned they may have been at the beginning, eventually got drunk with success and gave the man a full set of keys that he shouldn't have received to start with

This was the sort of injustices Coach Vonnegut had to deal with, losing for years against that scum. Of course, he finally beat him in fall 1999, and that was probably the most needed victory for those awaited the Evil Empire to be prevented for once and hopefully more times. And then the conviction came to that vile man and hey, we may be heading into something good where people would finally listen to Ike more and more. The New Day.

'Unfortunately, while he did overcome that and got the truths to come out on a Royal Commission report, he was unable to propel it further. The very next week after the pedophile's arrest, he made some strong comments on The Taegukgi which, of course, became what athletics administration saw as an incoming dumpster fire. The next thing we knew he was a goner from there, wrongfully dismissed and with no communication to the poor runners, your auntie included.

'I knew the intent was to clear- to cull and cut the entire team before refilling with those they wanted to restart. How stupid were they for thinking that way, but no one's surprised really. After all those years of struggle...you just get it, you know?'

-----

And all shits fell apart, in every wrong way possible for everybody.

The very next morning, the news was on the headlines of The Taegukgi. Given its status as the national Korean-language newspaper, and the central location of Quebec City in Quebecois journalism, this had only meant that the repercussions were particularly strong, as thousands had protested and telephoned to Cornwall to protest the decision. And for some time, there appeared to be hopes that Vonnegut, now being given enough warnings and taste of his own medicine to maybe control his mouth, were to be rehired.

Yet that didn't happen. The administration didn't budge one bit, for they viewed the team and its behaviour, which the former A.D. had viewed as 'cultic and demonic enough that it ought to end' on an archived email, as dangerous and had to be rebooted with much more obedient group of people. Perhaps, they were right in assuming that such mentality would make their lives easier- nobody likes when admin keeps getting in odds with its stars. That's how so many of the pro trades and college transfers happen to start with and whatnot these days, and you know, you just expect it as part of life.

What they did not realise was how such decision, now actively covered by The Taegukgi and of course the local newspapers, was not gonna work because the principles do not equal to practicality. Their poor response to the matter, in turn, had left most with no choice but to transfer or rip up their ROIs. Why bother?

And so the auntie, a hometown superstar who never wanted to leave the town, transferred out of her dream school to go to Mount Ester. She knew she had no choice especially when she knew there was no point staying anymore, and competing for her old club would have been fine, school mattered too for her and it was all so much along the lines of Goodbye Town. And that's where uncle remembers firmly:

'You see, Asher. I was ready to leave the institution.....As much as I loved the team, there was no way I was going to be able to handle further the suffering of what your auntie had gone through back then, I thought. Besides, Mount Ester is historic program too, so I thought I wouldn't be so badly off there.

'So I was at Coach William's office, bowling my eyes out as I knew I couldn't do enough, and told Coach Yi that I wasn't going to be able to join as assistant as I had agreed to just months prior. He understood, just nodded along, patting me on the back and then just said, 'You see, son. Stay for three more years. We win two more at least, hand the baton to Marcel (Cody-Yi), Felix (Ahn) and Pierre-Luc (Gibson), and prove those haters and the A.D. wrong. After that you can go and be with Brianne, but don't fail Felix and the Epeeists because Brianne did what was right for her.' So I stayed for three more years as promised, and then rejoined her there. Lots of long-distance but everybody knew and did their best to handle at least and for that, I thank Coach Yi and of course, the team, for understanding how hard it can get.'

So uncle Brock, after staying for three more years, went on a half-decade exile, as he first coached high school teams in Bathurst while auntie Brianne finished her BEng there and went back for her MEng while continuing to beat the odds, before the inevitable struck. The very next year, after the legendary trio of Yi, Ahn and Gibson had graduated, Coach Yi let his contract expire and after a year off, he went to lead his hometown school (ironically enough Mount Ester). Once again, it was the eventual Duke who offered newlywed uncle of mine to serve as assistant and there, he helped a huge part in Mount Ester's 2008 championship double.

As for stories back in Cornwall, it was still the same. The athletics department, shaken up visibly and tarnished, still ran things under the pretense of 'hakuna matata', and the admin were to remain the same until the same A.D., after another major scandal, was fired and replaced by Sir. Philippe in 2008. Long heartbroken by the impossibility of the trio reuniting, he asked uncle to come back and he, in tears of joy, accepted his way to the end. And while it would take some time for the Kenna-Lundrigans to heal once again by alma mater, they slowly got back to where they had hoped.

And the rest is history. They still live there- uncle Brock's now happily retired, having coached his last season just past february after 35 years, and awaits auntie Brianne, who is still five years away from retirement, to join him.

-----

So….well….yeah. the story of my uncle’s crazy turn of events is really the story of how sometimes, you have to follow your feelings and instincts and hope that you will be on the right side. For me, I always had this feeling that the Queen’s College and all its famed features- the limestone buildings two to three centuries old, parties on the student district, the famous clock tower of Regent Hall and not to mention the occasional brutalist remnants- were not brilliant because of their own but rather because of what the entire thing brought together in combination. And perhaps that’s why I didn’t end up there, as my longtime friend Myeong-Yoon had long dreamed to do so, or as my uncle, ironically enough, wanted me to come. It could seem a lot more intimidating than you’d imagine, especially if you aren’t one of those who are mentally strong or together enough. Uncle was ready to sacrifice and eventually move, auntie to move outta hometown, but I guess I wasn’t.

by **Sarzonia** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:56 am

Before Sarzonia's final group stage match against The Greater Nordics, kicker Adam Novak announced his retirement at the conclusion of this World Bowl, meaning that the final match for the Stars against Kohnhead at Joe Gibbs Stadium in Woodstock would be his last in a Stars kit.

"I've been at this for a long time," he said. "It's time for someone else to do this."

The announcement overshadowed Sarzonia's 20-3 defeat against The Greater Nordics, in which Novak's 34-yard field goal was Sarzonia's only scoring. Running back Ty'Relle Clinton, who was held to 69 yards on 20 carries, said the Stars would miss Novak's link to glory days of Sarzonian gridball.

"He won World Bowl XIV in Joe Gibbs Stadium against Bluth Corporation," Clinton said. "And he was on the squad that won the World Bowl against Delaclava in Delaclava. I'm gonna miss hearing his stories about the pre-isolation days."

Sam Rosen completed 13-of-24 passes for 247 yards and two interceptions before he suffered a knee contusion. Coach Les Steckhall said he would be available to play in the finale.

"Obviously, if we were still fighting for a spot in the knockout rounds, Sam would have still been playing once he got his knee wrapped up," Steckhall said. "With us playing out the string, we don't need to risk further injury."

Steckhall wouldn't address questions about his future as Sarzonia coach, other than to say that he would have a meeting with the Board of Governors of the Incorporated Gridball Federation and his future would be addressed then. However, he said the decision about whether to invite former Stars quarterback Joe Locklear to return for the next World Bowl would be up to the players.

"If they feel like he had good reason to leave and they want to welcome him back, I'll have that conversation with the team if the time comes," Steckhall said. Privately, a source familiar with the coach's thinking said he was "disinclined" to welcome Locklear back.

"He left his team during qualifying, just three matches in," the source said on condition of anonymity in order to speak more candidly about the conversations with Steckhall and the IGF. "Steck wants players who can commit to the team and each other, and he doesn't feel Locklear can do that."

The team announced they would hold a ceremony to honour Novak before the match, and would induct him and current quarterbacks coach and former Stars quarterback Gavin Davis into Sarzonia's World Bowl Hall of Honour. Davis's and Novak's jersey numbers will be retired.

by **Ko-oren** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:33 pm

The Dragonflies have secured a trip to the knockouts for the first time in two World Bowls, maintaining at least a spot in the top 15 of the world rankings. If the next round isn't where the adventure ends, a top 10 spot should be on the books even despite the heartbreaking early exit from World Bowl 38.

So far in World Bowl 39, the Dragonflies have lost to Cassadaigua (1st, 7-2) and the Jovannic (3-6, 5th). One of these definitely isn't like the other, but with the win over TJUN-ia, Ko-oren remain second in the group. Only if Cassadaigua loses their final game, and Ko-oren wins, we can still take first and hopefully an easier trail going into the knockouts. In one crazy scenario, we can lose and still overtake the Dagans - but only if they lose too, and we also need TJUN-ia to win their final game, tying us at 7-3 atop the group. The 1-1 H2H versus Cassadaigua will be added to our 2-0 H2H over TJUN-ia, making 3-1, the best H2H against the other 7-3 teams - Cassadaigua will end on 2-2, and TJUN-ia will end on 1-3. Of course, we're not expecting any of those scenarios to actually play out, which means we'll likely be 7-3 or 8-2, in second place, which in turn should put us around the 10th to 11th seed.

The Dragonflies' 10-0 win over TJUN-ia added our 40th takeaway of the campaign so far, almost at 5 takeaways per game on average. A few 6 and 7 takeaway games definitely helped, but even the low scores against TJUN-ia and Cassadaigua have added to the total. In those low scoring games, the Green and Blue offence did give the ball away a few times in promising spots, helping the score stay under a combined 20. TJUN-ia was most unlucky in when they decided to surrender the ball to Mesjathaunden and his fellows, giving up two redzone appearances and another decent field goal option around half time.

As we're heading into a very comfortable game, try your hand at these questions while you're watching!

During which tournament was Ko-oren's first World Bowl match?

What was our record during that World Bowl (10 group games)?

Which World Bowl had our first knockout appearance?

Which World Bowl had our first knockout win?

Which World Bowl saw our first semifinal appearance?

Ko-oren has won two World Bowls. How much time was between them?

Which team has won the most World Bowls?

Which team came closest without ever winning it?

by **The Greater Nordics** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:44 pm

Well this is it. The fate of this World Bowl for the Nordics rests on one game against Torisakia. The Nordic squad has already beaten them in this WB but they are not going to be overconfident. They know that Torisakia is a good team. The team is gathered in the locker room when Head Coach Leif Beck comes in and says "Team, this could be our last game in this World Bowl. We have played well so far and the offense has been magnificent. The defense has been outstanding as well. Just go out there and play like you normally do and we should win this one!"

Then Herman Lang stands up to speak. The veteran quarterback has been a great leader to the Nordic squad for a long time. He doesnt want to chance that the team is not fired up for the make or break game. He confirms the rumor that is going around and says that this is his last world bowl. This could be his last game on the Nordic team and he doesnt want to finish playing yet so we need to win this game to go on to the round of 16.

by **Drawkland** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 1:44 pm

WORLD BOWL XXXIX APPROACHING THE PLAYOFFS
Written By: Hayley Powell and Chuck Paul

With all but one game of the group stage behind us, we've officially punched our ticket to the playoffs in Delaclava. Whether or not we'll win our group depends on how well we perform in Delaclava. A win obviously gives us the group title, but if we lose by 11 points or less we'll still be atop the group. Don't worry though, we'll get to that later. Let's see what we've dealt with in the home stretch of the group stage.

@ NEW ENGLAND
All good things must come to an end, and so did our undefeated streak in the group stage. Not a big deal to us really, it's not like we have the Golden Bowl or anything to worry about right now. The real challenge will come in the playoffs anyhow. This was the hardest game of the group stage from an objective standpoint, as it was an away game against the best team in the group besides us. We knew it was going to be a grind, especially after the first game ended in a tense defensive showdown.

The first half was pedestrian, if a little low-scoring. Beck and Council connected for a touchdown and Hoy added the two-point conversion. Matthew Watts nailed a field goal from 40 yards out later in the second quarter. New England, meanwhile, benefited from a rushing touchdown by Cody Bolt Warren and a field goal by Robert Metzger Coal. Both their scores were in the first quarter. As the teams trotted into the locker rooms at the massive Wilderness Stadium, the score was 10-11 in Drawkland's favor.

Getting the ball first to start the second half, the Grid Corps got right to work marching down the field. The drive was long, and the Corps had to convert multiple tough third downs to keep it alive. Eventually, Jack Hoy broke through and scored a rushing touchdown to extend the Corps lead. However, the two point conversion fell incomplete thanks to excellent defense by Paul Christ Dark. The score remained at 10-17, though on New England's next possession, Herman Jones Reich tossed a beauty of a 30-yard touchdown pass to Samuel Hudson Coal. The PAT simply tied the score, and now the Corps had to get back to work on offense to try and break it. This wouldn't last long though, as Beck threw an interception to Louis Goodwin Rubble a few plays into the ensuing drive.

With the ball on the Drawkian side of midfield, New England was suddenly in a very good position to take the game, with the fourth quarter looming. The Corps defense held up well enough, but New England ended up getting away with another field goal to make the score 20-17 in their favor. Both team's next drives ended in punts, and now time was waning in the fourth with one last shot for Drawkland to score.

The Corps had trouble getting the ball down the field, with a false start and a few throwaways setting them back. Still, great catch-and-runs by Madison and Miller kept the drive alive. With a bit over a minute left, the Corps faced 3rd and 14 from midfield, and hope seemed to nearly be lost. They handed the ball off to Hoy, but he managed to evade the New England blitz by breaking a few tackles and popped into his next gear to try and get to the end zone. He was dropped down at the 5 yard line, but suddenly this game went from maybe being a tie to almost certainly being a win. Almost.

New England proceeded to pull off one of the most impressive goalline stands we've ever seen. The first play was a run by Hoy, stuffed. The second was a scamble by Beck, stopped. The third was a throwaway from Beck after being chased out of the pocket and forced to get rid of the ball. It came down to fourth and goal, too far to sneak or dive, but too close to be content with just kicking a game-tying field goal. Averfel put his trust in the team, and elected to go for the win/lose option rather than letting it come down to a tie and a potential overtime. It was a pass play, with Beck coming out of the pistol. His first option was covered, his second option was covered , and he was about to get flushed from the pocket. With the defense closing in, he sent the ball up to where Daniel Madison had just gotten open ... and out of nowhere lurked the linebacker Christopher Whitney Roche, who picked off the pass and sat down to secure the victory for New England.

vs DRUNK PEOPLE
You know, it's weird that the Drunk People at the Local Tavern have a guy who's just called "Drawk." We're assuming he's a Drawkian emigrant who lives near this local tavern, and everyone just calls him Drawk rather than his real name since that's his most defining feature. At least, that's my guess. Which is strange, because he was absolutely tearing up the field against us when the Drunk People came to town. The match in Cassie's Backyard in the first half was very fun, nearly a loss, but it was fun. He was playing pretty decently against us in that game, but he gained some sort of unholy power when he entered Drawkland.

It was everything our defense could do to try and keep him tamped down. Rule Theriault (not the real one ... I think) ended up throwing the ball only a dozen times, and half of them were to Drawk the running back on screens or angle routes or wheels. Drawk himself had a tick over 300 yards on the ground over this game, and got almost every drive by the Drunk People into the red zone. Our only solace was the fact that the Drunk People either forgot they had a kicker or refused to use him, so they kept turning the ball over on downs near the goalline. Drawk only scored two rushing touchdowns, one with a successful two point conversion (rushing of course) and one without. Still, his dominance on the ground was both awesome and delighting to the home fans, especially considering his "name."

Meanwhile, Averfel used this as an opportunity to give the second-team offense a lot of rotation, after a successful first quarter with the first-team offense scoring a touchdown (Beck to Hoy screen, Beck to Miller slant 2PC) and a field goal. The second team showed proficiency (Wilkins touchdown run from 5 yards out), but once again proved their lack of ability to score two-point conversions. The score was 17-7 at halftime.

Another touchdown by the second team offense (Gold to Reynolds) with a two-point conversion failure resulted after the half. At some point you'd think Averfel would decide to just only go for PATs when he has the second team on the field. In any case, the score was 23-7 until Drawk scored his second and final rushing touchdown of the game. The fourth quarter was dominated by time-sucking rushing attacks resulting in no points, so the Drunk People stumbled back to the Tavern 23-14 losers. I don't think they noticed or cared, though.

vs ROYAL KINGDOM OF QUEBEC
Similarly to the first game against Quebec, the Drawkians were simply beating the Quebecois with their defensive prowess for the whole game. We covered this in the first game, where a similar situation went down, but the aggressive tendencies of Team Quebec never seemed to pan out enough to get them into the end zone. Their only points of the game came from a 45-yard field goal by Hong Seung-Yoon in the final seconds of the first half.

The Grid Corps offense, on the other hand, had pretty much no issues scoring for the course of the game. They scored about one touchdown per quarter, resulting in 3 passing TDs from Beck, a rushing TD from Hoy, and receiving TDs from Madison, Covington, and Miller. We went 75% on two-point conversions, with the only failure being due to a Hoy run called short of the goalline in the second quarter. Credit where it's due to Quebec, whose blitz crashed in just the right way to shut down that play.

It was a nice night for Drawkian fans, and probably not so nice for the Quebecois, but overall it was a friendly match with little tension throughout the course of the game. It's the perfect win to end our final home game of the World Bowl and went to pack our bags for Delaclava. 30-3 was the final score, and there's not much more to ask for.

DELACLAVA & THE PLAYOFFS
Logistically, this is the best possible match to end the group stage on. With the defeat of Quebec, Drawkland officially ensured their passage to the World Bowl XXXIX playoffs in Delaclava, and our final match of this group stage just so happens to be an away game in Delaclava. How convenient! We get to go early, save money by not having to fly back and forth, and we'll be able to get acclimated and used to the surroundings before any other teams have a chance. Now all we can ask for is a win to really put the cherry on top of our solid group stage, though I'm sure Delaclavan fans will be hoping for the opposite.

In Group A, we've officially made the playoffs, but we aren't the group winners yet. To win the group we'll have to beat Delaclava, or lose by less than 12 points. This is easily possible, considering they're unranked, but they also will have home field advantage and they've been in solid form so far anyway. Delaclava (7-2) are followed close behind by New England (6-3), who are hoping for a Delaclavan loss to make it possible for them to make the playoffs. New England split their games against Delaclava, with a +1 point differential (what a close margin!), so if they're tied on record, New England will make it through. New England will be playing Quebec, which is an easily winnable game for them, but Quebec will have home field advantage. It could go either way.

For us at least, this game is of no consequence. We could theoretically rest our starters the whole time, but that may not be wise considering we run the risk of icing our hot first team, as well as wasting the opportunity to get them used to playing in Delaclava. Our most important game of the whole cycle, barring the championship (if we make it), is the first game of the Round of 16. The playoffs, starting with the quarterfinals, are double elimination, giving us second life in case we lose earlier than expected (as if that helped us last cycle). The round of 16, however, due to time and logistic constraints, is still a simple loser-go-home round, so we can't afford to lose it. Losing in or before the championship is not exactly unknown for us, and could be an acceptable result depending on context. Losing in the first round, though, will blow this golden opportunity to play in a double-elim playoff, as well as cripple our rank for future Bowls.

I can't state it enough, whoever we play in the first round will be our most important opponent. This Delaclava game, we can take it or leave it. The Round of 16 matchup, though, will make or break this cycle. We can absolutely win this World Bowl, as can many teams, but we can't do that unless we get to the real meat of the playoffs. All we can do now is sit and wait for our boys in black to get the job done. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again (and you should say it too) .... On Corps!

by **Kohnhead** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:28 pm

Kohnhead improve but it's too little too late

(The defense celebrates a sack on Jack Russell)

Back at Chicken King stadium, Kohnhead got ready to face Northwest Kalactin, a team that had handily beaten us the first time we played them at their home stadium. Since I last talked about the team we have actually done fairly well losing to Free Republics (of course), but picking up a 20-6 victory against The Greater Nordics was the highlight of our World Bowl campaign. We would also lose yet again to Torisakia, and now we would face Northwest Kalactin a team we knew we could defeat.

Despite beating us 20-10 to advance to two wins, and two losses, Kalactin have struggled and have gone downhill since the victory against us and they had lost four straight heading into their match against us. What followed was a defensive battle between two teams that were supposed to have brilliant offenses. In the end we won a very close 14-13 match. And while the 14 points scored by us looks like 2 touchdowns with PATs the scoring was in fact a lot weirder than that.

The scoring started off late in the first quarter, as the Kalactin offense and Jack Russell had looked poor, while Watford had thrown a red zone interception, and Butler had fumbled away a handoff deep in their territory. Jack Russell led our opponents on a long drive which included three third down conversions. By the time they reached the Kohnhead 16 they were stopped on three consecutive plays leading to a 4th and 9 where the field goal team was sent out. Just like that we were down 3-0.

On our next possession, Jackson Watford would lead the team down for a touchdown. We did get a big run from backup running back Kaitlan Deacon as Butler injured herself on the fumble. The drive would be capped off by Watford throwing a dot to Billy James for the score. Parkinson would miss the PAT, and this is where the fun starts.

On the ensuing kickoff the coverage team played extremely well and stopped the returner at the 18 yard line. A 5 yard sack, on first down (pictured above) from Ellenor Firth, and a holding penalty would bring Kalactin back even more. On second down Malik King attempted to snap it to Russell but the snap was low, and Russell couldn't hold on to it. It would squirt through his arms and bounce into the end zone where Russell would dive on it to prevent a touchdown but gave up the safety in the process.

It was 8-3, Kohnhead, a very interesting score indeed. Now Kohnhead had given up a safety (against Torisakia, and scored one). The game would continue and Northwest Kalactin would be the next team to score with a 42 yard field goal from Jason Sanders with 7 seconds remaining in the first half making the score 8-6.

Northwest Kalactin would march down the field on the first drive of the second half, with Kevin Brooks catching a 17 yard pass from Russell for the score making it 13-8 as the PAT was converted. The Brains couldn't respond on their next drive as it resulted in a three and out, and it looked like Jack Russell was about to put the game out of hand as he was marching down the field, but Espinosa tipped a pass at the line of scrimmage and Haney intercepted it, and returned it pretty far.

Parkinson would make a field goal from 36 yards on the next drive, although she almost missed it. It bounced off of the uprights but somehow went in. The game would continue at 13-11 (lol), until with 42 seconds left in the game Kohnhead would get the ball on their own 27 yard line. Watford would sail a pass over Brown's head, before hitting James for a 7 yard completion but forced Kohnhead to use their last timeout. Watford was able to hit Bradson for a gain of 17 but he was stopped in bounds. Watford had to spike it to stop the clock. On second down he went deep to Polisson but he dropped it resulting in a third and 10. Watford would hit Polisson who this time made the catch and got out of bounds for a gain of 12. After two straight incompletions with 17 seconds on the clock, Polisson had another big catch, this time for 10. It would bring up 4th and inches, but the call would go to a booth review who ruled Polisson had gotten the first down.

Unfortunately we couldn't get the first, and this would bring up Parkinson on 4th down to attempt a game winning field goal. Technically there would be time on the clock after the kick maybe for a hail mary but it was a huge kick. Parkinson would send it straight down the middle to win Kohnhead the game 14-13.

Despite Kohnhead being eliminated, this was a massive morale booster and puts us at 4th in the standings. With our next game being against Sarzonia, who are also unranked we could finish 4th in the group easily, and unless NWK makes up a 52 point differential we aren't getting last.

Group G                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Free Republics                                 9    8   1   255   91 +164
2 Torisakia                                      9    6   3   208  188  +20
3 The Greater Nordics                            9    5   4   132  101  +31
4 Kohnhead                                       9    3   6   131  158  −27
5 Sarzonia                                       9    3   6   107  216 −109
6 Northwest Kalactin                             9    2   7   132  211  −79

by **Terre Septentrionale** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:38 pm

Terre Septentrionale wins overtime thriller against Banija

Busukuma, Banija - Last night in banija, Terre Septentrionale played their most exciting football game on the international stage. The game ended by the score of 7-7 and wasn't much exciting but then in overtime it started to be really exciting! I wish I could explain you the World Bowl overtime rules that are quite different than overtime rules in our domestic league but I don't understand them. In our domestic league, the first team to score wins.

Terre Septentrionale scored at the end of the 1st quarter when Montavious McBryde ran for 15 yards on a wildcat formation. Banija tied the game whitin the two minutes warning in the 2nd quarter when Jalang Dibba caught Isaka Jawara's 29 yards pass in the endzone. No team scored in the 2nd half and the 4th quarter ended at 7 for both teams.

Terre Septentrionale won the coin toss to start the overtime period with the ball and on their first drive, Haylie Woo passed to Louis-Philip Laframboise-Deschamps in the endzone for a 19 yards touchdown. Montavious McBryde ran with the ball for the two points conversion and we thought he made it but on the video review it was shown that his knee was on the ground at the half yard line, the play was overturned and the Reprezentacja Nordycki were leading 13-7. Banija answered back with Isaka Jawara passing to Tijan Kujabi in the endzone for 16 yards. Banija could just attempt a one point conversion but they were very confident and tried for two. Isaka Jawara tried to pass in the endzone to Landing Turay but the pass was broken up by Nehemiah Charles and the game was tied at 13-13. On their next drive, Terre Septentrionale were stopped at the 28 yards line and made a 45 yards field goal. Banija replied with a 31 yards field goal and the score was 16-16. Terre Septentrionale had the ball at the 41 yards line in Banija territory when halfback Montavious McBryde, on a wildcat formation, passed the ball to quarterback Tyquavious Wilderbralthwait who caught it at the 26 yards line and ran to the endzone for the touchdown. The Northmen tried for two when Haylie Woo passed into the endzone to Stanislaw Krzyzanowski and the score was 24-16. Banija absolutely had to score a touchdown with a 2 points conversion to tie the game. After a succesful 34 yards pass to Hatabu Jagne, Banija had the ball at the 8 yards line in Nordiques territory when Isaka Jawara passed in the endzone to Lamin Corr for the touchdown. Jawara tried to pass to Tijan Kujabi for the 2 points conversion but the pass was broken up by DeShawn Lewis-Harris and the conversion wasn't good. Terre Septentrionale won 24-22!

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
2:38 - Touchdown by Montavious McBryde (15 yards run). Extra point by Nick DeLuca.

2ND QUARTER
1:23 - Touchdown by Jalang Dibba (29 yards pass from Isaka Jawara). Extra point by Chioma Uchie.

3RD QUARTER
No score

4TH QUARTER
No score

OVERTIME
12:46 - Touchdown by Louis-Philip Laframboise-Deschamps (19 yards pass from Haylie Woo). 2 points conversion missed.
10:49 - Touchdown by Tijan Kujabi (16 yards pass from Isaka Jawara). Extra point by Chioma Uchie. 2 points conversion missed.
7:24 - Field Goal by Nick DeLuca (45 yards).
3:55 - Field Goal by Chioma Uchie (31 yards).
2:37 - Touchdown by Tyquavious Wilderbralthwait (41 yards pass from Montavious McBryde). Haylie Woo passed to Stanislaw Krzyzanowski for two points.
0:28 - Touchdown by Lamin Corr (8 yards pass from Isaka Jawara). Extra point by Chioma Uchie. 2 points conversion missed.

Playoffs

With this overtime win against Banija, we're qualified for the playoffs and they're eliminated! Terre Septentrionale is still tied with Vangaziland with 7 wins in 8 games while Banija has 4 wins and 4 losses. On matchday 9, the Reprezentacja Nordycki will travel to Alba and Cymru and we'll recieve Vangaziland at Stade du PÉPS in Ville Jacques-Cartier on the final matchday. Most starters will rest on Alba and Cymru so they'll be fresh for the game against Vangaziland.

Karine Gingras,
La tribune Septentrionale

by **Ranoria** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:43 pm

Untouchable: Offense Changes Pace,
Run-First Approach Grinds Newmanistan Into The Ground

Vice Jackson III carried the brunt of the load in this one, with over 120 yards and a touchdown run

Derek McNair has been electric this World Bowl cycle, elevating his team to what is currently the second best offense in the tournament on the way to a 9-0 record. But after a one score win over Newmanistan in week four that saw him struggle, the team leaned on its backs: Carlson Katterfield and Vice Jackson III. And of course, McNair pitched in plenty of his own designed runs.

51 carries. 211 yards. 29 of those totes came from Vice Jackson III, 13 from Katterfield, and 9 from McNair. Now, they only scored two rushing touchdowns, and Trevor Wheeler, their kicker, missed a PAT, but their overall goal was achieved: They kept the ball out of the Rockets' hands, and kept their tight defense from pouncing on every opportunity provided.

Passing wise, McNair was just 13/18 for 191 yards, with no turnovers or passing scores. A quiet day passing, but after the ballgame, McNair made it very clear that he was happy with the win and everyone's ability to avoid injuries through nine extra weeks of football. Granted, many of the players on this team either weren't playing last season or were cut at some point last season, but his intent was there. Darnell Sleight had played well up until this point, but his hot streak was finally broken here.

The Rockets, to their credit, remained steadfast in their approach until the middle of the fourth quarter, down 13-3. Before that, they had thrown in a steady mix of running and passing, but once it came down to it, they began firing the ball downfield. Darnell Sleight had played well up until this point, but his hot streak was finally broken here.

Quarterback Brian Scanlon is more than capable of getting the job done, and with two young speedsters in Stephon Sutton and Lucas Jackson, he had the perfect arsenal for a comeback. At first, Scanlon heavily favored the latter, as Sutton was covered by Sleight. Sutton would haul in 5 passes for 83 yards in the fourth quarter alone. But on that first drive, he saw an opening to Sutton, who burned Darnell Sleight for a 39 yard scamper, only stopped when safety Cliff Henson shoestring tackled him.

Scanlon, from the three yard line, then passed to Sutton again, but this time was not so fortunate. Sleight picked him off in the end zone on a classic 50-50 fade route, making it out to the twenty four before he was tackled. The offense mounted a decent drive to milk the clock a bit, and Scanlon had another opportunity. He would end up missing a pass, broken up by none other than Sleight, whom seemed to be playing with a vengeance, and they only got one more drive in the game with 3 seconds on the clock. The prayer was thrown up, and on target, but batted away by a swath of defenders.

With this win, Ranoria is 9-0, likely to be 10-0, and certainly one of the favorites to win the World Bowl title this season. Notably, they are the only remaining undefeated squad, and with a big game next week, they may even secure the title of having the best offense in the knockout stage of the tournament.

Player Stats; Week 9:

QB Derek McNair:
-165/219, 2,466, 11.26 YP/A, 18 TD, 3 INT
-40 rush, 233 yards, 5.83 yp/a, 4 TD, 1 fumble/1 lost
HB Vice Jackson III:
-202 carries, 903 yards, 4.47 yp/a, 3 TD
-23 receptions, 209 yards, 1 TD
HB Carlson Katterfield:
-42 rushes, 184 yards, 4.38 yp/a, 1 TD
-16 receptions, 111 yards, 1 TD
TE Johnny Farmer:
-47 receptions, 607 yards, 9 TD
-Defense: 7 tackles, 2 sacks
WR Ricardo Jackson:
-50 receptions, 722 yards, 4 TD

DE William Teller: 25 tackles, 6.5 sacks, 6 TFL
DE Emmanuel Miller: 36 tackles, 5.5 sacks, 4 TFL
DT Kevin Gerhart: 18 tackles, 5 sacks, 5 TFL
CB Darnell Sleight: 24 tackles, 2 sacks, 9 PDef, 3 INT, 1 safety

by **Torisakia** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:59 pm

public class TorisakianSports {
	public static void main(String[] args) {
		Torisakia torisakia = new Torisakia();
		Game game = new Game();
		
		if (game.highStakes == true) {
			torisakia.shit.bed();
		} else {
			throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible");
			return null;
		}
	}
}

by **Inner AginanaUsordia** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 8:07 pm

Lions Prepare for Most Important Matchup of Group Stage
Jessicaville, Newmanistan

The final game of the Lions’ winding journey through the F Group grows nearer, and as fate would have it, the game in enemy territory will determine their ability to advance- or stay mediocre. To move on, the Lions must win by 7 or more points, because they dropped the fifth game to Newmanistan, 10-3.

With the assistance of the top head coaches not affiliated with the Lions, we have compiled a detailed analysis of the previous Newmanistan game, to scope out the weaknesses and prepare for the strengths of the Rockets’ WB39 squad. Written by Chad Rozelle, Micalov Monthly; Notes (in italics) by Andrew Prince, Kolsan Brewers HC/OC; Tanner Hoffman, Bolvestra Mountaineers HC/DC; Adam Hargreaves, Pilara Longshoremen HC/QB’s

At home, the Lions deferred the kickoff, and the Rockets kneeled in the end zone.
The defense got off to an early start, tackling the experienced fullback Devlin Grier for a loss of 1 yard. The Rockets were able to manage 27 yards on the drive before punting the ball and pinning the Lions on the 3 yard line.
AP: They decided to not attempt the 65-yard field goal.
TH: Their offense looked fast.
AH: They look alright. Their passing game looks aggressive, and Scanlon looks mobile.
The Lions got a first down, then gained a yard before punting to the Rockets 30, and it was returned 8 yards.
From their 38, the Rockets began a slow, run-heavy drive to the Lions’ 32 yard line, where Michael Krizman made a 47-yard field goal. 3-0 Rockets, 13:32 2nd Half.
AP:They are experienced in the ground game. The speed and power are balanced well behind a relatively strong offensive line. The Lions D-Line can handle it relatively well, allowing less than 5 yards on most plays, as long as they stay strong on all sides..
The kick goes out the back of the endzone, Lions ball at their 25.
After missing two passes in a row, the offense turned to the ground to generate 32 yards. They punted, and pinned the Rockets at the 7-yard line. Another slow, run-heavy drive ensued, and the Lions intercepted the buzzer-beating pass from the Lions’ 41-yard line. Still 3-0 Rockets.
After receiving the second-half kickoff, Mason Henderson returned it 23 yards to the Rockets’ 31.
TH: Their return game relies on speed from a light but well-disciplined receiver. It will be dangerous again if the Special Teams are not careful.
The next drive saw three 12- yard passes burn the Lions’ secondary before a rush for a loss, a sack, and an incomplete pass saw the Rockets forced to attempt and miss the 50-yard field goal.
The Lions’ next drive turned to the ground game a third time, driving slowly but surely up the field to the 23, where the 40-yard FG was made by Knight. 3-3, with 10:31 in the 4th quarter. After a deep kickoff stopped at the 3-yard line, the Rockets got only 8 yards before punting the ball again. The Lions surprisingly turned to the air this drive, completing 7 of 9 passes before a disastrous pick-6 was thrown from the Rockets’ 35 and returned by Desmond Jenkins from the 23. After the kickoff, the Lions were forced to try a quick drive but were stopped by the dominant Newmanistan defense. Final Score 10-3 Rockets.
AP: They look quick and young through the air. They show some big-play ability, but any solid secondary will keep that on lockdown. They run the routes well, but I see yac (Yards after Contact) as their weakness when they do catch the ball.
AH: This is a manageable team. It’s do or die time.

by **Delaclava** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 8:16 pm

The last day of the group stage is here! After these games, the sixteen teams headed to Delaclava will be determined, and the rest will head home (or come as spectators - you're always welcome). Some teams have already punched their ticket, some teams have work to do, and many teams are just playing for pride. Whether you're trying to make a lasting impression heading into the knockouts, or just want to have a strong final performance, don't make an ass of yourself.

Gameday 10 cutoff!

Elimination Key

Qualified, Group Winner
Qualified in second place

Group A
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 20–10 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England
Equestria 38–3 Drunk People at the Local Tavern
Delaclava 30–30 Drawkland (36–30 OT)

  Group A                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Drawkland                                     10    8   2   252  115 +137
2 Delaclava                                     10    8   2   240  157  +83
3 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England      10    6   4   208  129  +79
4 Royal Kingdom of Quebec                       10    5   5   161  165   −4
5 Equestria                                     10    2   8   112  226 −114
6 Drunk People at the Local Tavern              10    1   9    74  255 −181

Drawkland wins the group on H2H (1-1, +5).

Group B
Saint Kanye 37–3 Silver Beach
Xanneria 14–17 Lisander
Jeckland 3–44 Taeshan

  Group B                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Taeshan                                       10    9   1   235   65 +170
2 Jeckland                                      10    6   4   194  160  +34
3 Xanneria                                      10    5   5   195  128  +67
4 Saint Kanye                                   10    5   5   180  203  −23
5 Lisander                                      10    4   6   122  147  −25
6 Silver Beach                                  10    1   9    33  256 −223

Group C
Velstrania 20–9 Squidroidia
Krytenia 24–0 Martune
Main Nation Ministry 23–10 Geektopia

  Group C                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Main Nation Ministry                          10    9   1   254  139 +115
2 Geektopia                                     10    8   2   218  109 +109
3 Velstrania                                    10    6   4   187  166  +21
4 Squidroidia                                   10    3   7   127  158  −31
5 Krytenia                                      10    2   8   132  196  −64
6 Martune                                       10    2   8    69  219 −150

Group D
Nagore 0–7 Ko-oren
TJUN-ia 15–7 The Sarian
The Jovannic 7–35 Cassadaigua

  Group D                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cassadaigua                                   10    8   2   204   85 +119
2 Ko-oren                                       10    8   2   147   44 +103
3 TJUN-ia                                       10    7   3   184   85  +99
4 The Sarian                                    10    4   6   151  201  −50
5 The Jovannic                                  10    3   7   122  250 −128
6 Nagore                                        10    0  10    85  228 −143

Cassadaigua wins the group on H2H (1-1, +3).

Group E
Banija 23–16 Alba and Cymru
Terre Septentrionale 10–3 Vangaziland
HUElavia 14–27 Western Fardelshufflestein

  Group E                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Terre Septentrionale                          10    9   1   157   79  +78
2 Vangaziland                                   10    8   2   261   83 +178
3 Banija                                        10    6   4   230  176  +54
4 Western Fardelshufflestein                    10    4   6   123  202  −79
5 HUElavia                                      10    3   7   169  220  −51
6 Alba and Cymru                                10    0  10    79  259 −180

Group F
Newmanistan 30–10 Inner AginanaUsordia
Damukuni 3–3 Bongo Johnson (9–6 OT)
Lovisa 0–14 Ranoria

  Group F                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Ranoria                                       10   10   0   257   74 +183
2 Newmanistan                                   10    8   2   195   88 +107
3 Inner AginanaUsordia                          10    6   4   211  165  +46
4 Lovisa                                        10    3   7   155  264 −109
5 Bongo Johnson                                 10    2   8   117  178  −61
6 Damukuni                                      10    1   9   124  290 −166

Group G
Sarzonia 27–6 Kohnhead
Northwest Kalactin 7–50 Free Republics
Torisakia 15–13 The Greater Nordics

  Group G                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Free Republics                                10    9   1   305   98 +207
2 Torisakia                                     10    7   3   223  201  +22
3 The Greater Nordics                           10    5   5   145  116  +29
4 Sarzonia                                      10    4   6   134  222  −88
5 Kohnhead                                      10    3   7   137  185  −48
6 Northwest Kalactin                            10    2   8   139  261 −122

Group H
United Civil Republic 0–27 South Covello
Mathuvan Union 0–17 Karditan
Allamunnic States 19–6 Abanhfleft

  Group H                                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Allamunnic States                             10    9   1   259   18 +241
2 Abanhfleft                                    10    7   3   129  101  +28
3 South Covello                                 10    7   3   177  129  +48
4 Karditan                                      10    5   5   116  103  +13
5 Mathuvan Union                                10    2   8    84  181  −97
6 United Civil Republic                         10    0  10    30  263 −233

Abanhfleft has advanced on their H2H advantage (1-1, +3).

Well, there you have it! Congratulations to the sixteen teams making the trip to Delaclava for a chance to take home World Bowl XXXIX! To the other 32 teams, thank you so much for competing in matches around the world and putting in your best effort! We hope you will be back for the big 40!

Playoff games and venues to be published immediately following this post.

by **Delaclava** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 8:38 pm

The United Republic of Delaclava presents...
World Bowl XXXIX: Playoffs

Congratulations to the 16 teams still standing! Your next task is to make the trip to Delaclava - welcome! - and take part in the World Bowl XXXIX playoffs. The stakes are high immediately - the round of 16 is single-elimination. Win and you advance, lose and you go home. From there, the eight remaining teams will travel to greener pastures - rather, bigger and better fields - for the double-elimination stage. From there, two losses will send you home, but four or five wins will allow you to win the trophy. The occasional fluke loss can be excused, but you'll need to be the more consistent and superior team for several matches in a row. Can you handle the pressure? Let's find out!

The overall standings - group winners, then group runners-up, sorted by wins and then by point differential, stand as thus:

Pos.	Team			GP	W	L	PF	PA	PD
F1	Ranoria	                10	10	0	257	74	183
H1	Allamunnic States	10	9	1	259	18	241
G1	Free Republics	        10	9	1	305	98	207
B1	Taeshan	                10	9	1	235	65	170
C1	Main Nation Ministry	10	9	1	254	139	115
E1	Terre Septentrionale	10	9	1	157	79	78
A1	Drawkland	        10	8	2	252	115	137
D1	Cassadaigua	        10	8	2	204	85	119
E2	Vangaziland	        10	8	2	261	83	178
C2	Geektopia	        10	8	2	218	109	109
F2	Newmanistan	        10	8	2	195	88	107
D2	Ko-oren	                10	8	2	147	44	103
A2	Delaclava	        10	8	2	240	157	83
H2	Abanhfleft	        10	7	3	129	101	28
G2	Torisakia	        10	7	3	223	201	22
B2	Jeckland	        10	6	4	194	160	34

From here, it's pretty simple - the highest-seeded group winner is matched up with the lowest-seeded runner-up, second group winner with second-lowest runner-up, and so on... We declared at the beginning of the tournament that no rematches would be allowed for the Round of 16 or the quarterfinals, but no rearrangements are needed! Here are your Round of 16 games and venues:

(F1) Ranoria vs. (B2) Jeckland – The Standard (25,000), Coleport
(H1) Allamunnic States vs. (G2) Torisakia – Van der Veil Amphitheatre (35,000) Haarward*
(G1) Free Republics vs. (H2) Abanhfleft – Chiefs Stadium (30,000), Kitsuartat
(B1) Taeshan vs. (A2) Delaclava – Pediomachis (60,000), Athens
(C1) Main Nation Ministry vs. (D2) Ko-oren – Bears’ Den (65,000), Bosmond
(E1) Terre Septentrionale vs. (F2) Newmanistan – New Catalon Bowl (50,000), Corcorran
(A1) Drawkland vs. (C2) Geektopia – MountainEsc Stadium (40,000), Santa Lourdes
(D1) Cassadaigua vs. (E2) Vangaziland – Tigers Stadium (62,000), Laurelum

* For the Golden Bowl lineal championship.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves - you have to win this game first to see any other action. But just a preview of the remainder of the schedule, for the quarterfinals onward:

Winners' Bracket
Monday 7/13 — Day 1: Quarterfinals @ Sullivan Stadium (70,000), Quinniville and Eagles Stadium (75,000), Manchester
Tuesday 7/14 — Day 2: Semifinals @ Sullivan Stadium (70,000), Quinniville and Eagles Stadium (75,000), Manchester
Wednesday 7/15 — Day 3: OFF
Thursday 7/16 — Day 4: Winners' Final @ Royster Field (110,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina
Friday 7/17 — Day 5: OFF

Losers' Bracket
Monday 7/13 — Day 1: N/A
Tuesday 7/14 — Day 2: First Round (quarterfinal losers) @ Branten Bowl (80,000) and Swarzreng Stadium (80,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina
Wednesday 7/15 — Day 3: Second Round (First Round winners vs. semifinal losers) @ Branten Bowl (80,000) and Swarzreng Stadium (80,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina
Thursday 7/16 — Day 4: Third Round (Second Round winners) Swarzreng Stadium (80,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina
Friday 7/17 — Day 5: Losers' Final (Third Round winner vs. Winners' Final loser) @ Royster Field (110,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina

Grand Final
Saturday 7/18 — Day 6: World Bowl XXXIX Championship (Winners' Final winner vs. Losers' Final winner) @ Royster Field (110,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina
Sunday 7/19 — Day 7: World Bowl XXXIX Championship (Game 2, if Losers' Final winner wins Game 1) @ Royster Field (110,000), National Athletic Complex, Catherina

As a reminder, there are two off days now, and the Round of 16 will be scorinated in the evening on Sunday, July 12 (North America). In that time, I promise to provide more information about Delaclava itself and the cities you will be visiting - information you are not required to use but are certainly welcome to incorporate in order to develop your RP.

Best of luck to all competitors, and may the best team ~~not lose more than once~~ win!

by **Sarzonia** » Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:28 pm

As sendoffs go, Adam Novak got a pretty good one.

He had an uneventful day, kicking three extra points and two short field goals in his final match for the Sarzonian national gridball team. Sarzonia closed out its return to the World Bowl with a 27-6 romp over Kohnhead in front of a sellout crowd at Joe Gibbs Stadium that was mostly there to celebrate Novak's and quarterbacks coach and former Stars legend Gavin Davis's careers.

Les Steckhall admitted before he put his headset on that he escaped into the tunnel during the prematch ceremony because he was fighting back tears. He'd watched Davis's exploits as a fan and a young assistant coach and eventually got to coach Novak in this World Bowl.

"Adam is a consummate pro, he's been the rock for this team and he's been a huge part of the glory days of the past," Steckhall said. "And Gavin, well he's been a huge part of two World Bowl titles. He's also been extremely helpful in helping me acclimate to this role."

Steckhall wouldn't address questions about his future with the team, but a source familiar with the discussions among the Incorporated Gridball Federation Board of Governors said they were all but certain to offer Steckhall a new contract.

And why not? After Sarzonia started 0-3 with only a relatively close opening match loss to Group G runners up Torisakia as a relative highlight and saw Tim Gates resign as head coach, the Stars responded to the more aggressive offensive posture of first time head coach Steckhall.

The Stars finished 4-3 in his matches as coach, including a stunning 16-13 victory over defending World Bowl champions and world No. 1 Free Republics that was remarkable more for its geopolitical significance than for gridball reasons. After all, Free Republics are still in the knockout rounds whilst the Stars pack up to go home.

Sarzonia's 4-6 record means they end up in fourth place, one game against fellow unranked side Kohnhead and two games ahead of Northwest Kalactin.

But the night will be remembered more for honoring the past than looking to the future. The video highlights of Sarzonia's four World Bowl finals appearances, including the late Davis touchdown pass to Clark Hennessy that turned defeat into victory against Delaclava in World Bowl XI and Novak's walkoff World Bowl-winning field goal against Bluth Corporation.

Most fans will forget Ty'Relle Clinton rushing 26 times for 130 yards and a touchdown or Sam Rosen completing 26-of-47 passes for 338 yards and two scores. It will forget a defence that sacked Kohnhead quarterback Jackson Watford six times and forced five turnovers. It will forget how the Stars finally began to resemble the way Steckhall wanted to see his team perform.

They'll remember the smiles on the faces of Davis and Novak as both men were inducted into the newly minted Hall of Honour for Sarzonia gridball. Both men would have their jerseys retired, and both men saw statues of themselves unveiled for the new Hall of Honour building adjacent to Joe Gibbs Stadium that was dedicated in a separate ceremony.

They'll remember the tears in Steckhall's eyes and in those of many of their own eyes. And they'll remember how they finished a trying World Bowl cycle on a promising note.

by **TJUN-ia** » Fri Jul 10, 2020 4:34 am

TJUN-ia wouldn't be heading to Deleclava for the knockouts of the World Bowl, but that didn't mean this tournament wouldn't be considered a success. With Gus McKerrin in his first season as head coach, many thought it would be unlikely that TJUN-ia makes it to 6-4 - the Jaguars not only made it but, with their win over The Sarian tonight, did better than that.

The game was simple enough: 2 TDs for Jake Griffin (1 via running in himself, another via a throw to Jack Davidson), with 1 PAT kicked by Chi On-Ma and a 2-point conversion completed by a throw to Hubert Valois. It took until our final game to finally see a 2pt attempt, so it was nice to see it completed. Our opponents did score a TD of their own (Hylaari Buuf to Colyn Alveurynk, PAT kicked by Pietr Kindvanaluun) but they never looked likely to take over the lead of this game.

To be within a game of making the knockouts is both bad and good. On one hand, we would be heading off to Deleclava if we had just won 1 more game against either Ko-oren or Cassadiagua. On the other hand, the fact that we were in that position to begin with is surprising enough. No one expected much of this team and yet they ended up with the best record of a team not making the knockouts, tied with South Covello.

And so, that is that for the GFA. A good tournament by TJUN-ian standards, but a few questions remain in the dust. Is this team going to improve even more? Will we send a team to the demonstration event at the 14th Olympics? Can this team make the knockouts at WB40? I guess we will have to wait and see but, surprisingly, the future of TJUN-ian Gridiron Football looks as bright as the stars in the skies of New Washington tonight.

SCHEDULE (Group D)
MD1: vs Cassadiagua (11) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 21-14 (3rd/1-0)
MD2: @The Jovannic (UR) - De Stadium Le Buile, Buile W 21-0 (1st/2-0)
MD3: vs Nagore (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 44-3 (1st/3-0)
MD4: vs Ko-oren (3) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington L 0-17 (3rd/3-1)
MD5: @The Sarian (49) W 20-7 (3rd/4-1)
------------------------OFF-DAY------------------------
MD6: @Cassadiagua (11) L 0-17 (3rd/4-2)
MD7: vs The Jovannic (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 48-7 (3rd/5-2)
MD8: @Nagore (UR) W 13-6 (3rd/6-2)
MD9: @Ko-oren (3) - Exhibition Centre, Mayara L 0-10 (3rd/6-3/OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED)
MD10: vs The Sarian (49) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 15-7 (3rd/7-3)

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:47 am

Off-day Report: KGFL Team Value

With the popularity of soccer's financial power index ever-increasing, and the Ko-orenite Top League firmly establishing itself among the middle pack there, we realised that the KGFL - or American Football in general - doesn't do transfers and as such, it's very hard to rank leagues against one another internationally. We have the Champions' Bowl, a competition in which some nations definitely do better than others, but it's still very hard to determine whether a league is better than another top-to-bottom. Sure, one league's top few teams could compete at a high level, but what if the rest of the league can't compare at all? Imagine a league in which the top three teams are as good as any, but the rest are on the level of the second division.

So, to at least paint the picture on the Ko-orenite side, here are the top 20 teams of Ko-oren ranked on financial value.

Team	Value (NSD)	League
Aminey Caspians	45M	KGFL 1
Greencaster Godspeed	42M	KGFL 1
Willowbourne Saints	40M	KGFL 1
Sterrenwolde Dragonflies	33M	KGFL 1
Schemerdrecht 65ers	30M	KGFL 1
Mayara Destroyers	30M	KGFL 1
Mawryshire Centaurs	24M	KGFL 1
Salamantic Universities Professors	20M	NSCF
Aerellen Explosions	16M	KGFL 1
Mayara Wolves	16M	KGFL 1
Schemerdrecht Admirals	15M	KGFL 1
Eaglebury Emperors	14M	KGFL 1
Noordrug Astronauts	13M	KGFL 1
Greencaster Anchors	8M	KGFL 2
Gehrenna Mountaineers	7M	KGFL 2
Ora Australis	6M	KGFL 2
Intermare Internationals	5M	KGFL 2
Four Cities Kings	4M	KGFL 2
Llandy Dragons	4M	KGFL 2
Katashi Pilots	4M	KGFL 3

The Aminey Caspians have the highest market value of all teams on the archipelago, with 45 million NSD - which also ranks them among the top 5 of all sports teams in the nation. This team, together with the Godspeed and the Saints, are the clear Big 3 in terms of financial value, as three gridiron-crazy cities with no competition from a second team in the league. Schemerdrecht's and Mayara's markets are divided between the 65ers and the Admirals on the one hand, and the Destroyers and the Wolves on the other. The biggest teams of these cities are found at 5th and 6th, while the smaller teams rank among the bottom of the KGFL 1.

Since its inception just three seasons ago, the Salamantic Professors have quickly risen the ranks and enjoy the 7th overall spot - the perks of being a nationally marketed team.

At the bottom of the KGFL 1 we find the Noordrug Astronauts, the league's smallest market in the least populated city, with the Eaglebury Emperors and the Schemerdrecht Admirals above them by a small margin.

The KGFL 2's most valuable teams are the Anchors, sharing a market with Greencaster - but it's still Ko-oren's largest city so that's a huge market still. The remainder of the top 20 is made up of KGFL 2 teams from large-ish cities that have little to no competition from other gridiron teams, with the exception of the Katashi Pilots, at 20th, operating in the KGFL 3.

by **Terre Septentrionale** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:13 pm

Terre Septentrionale beats Vangaziland again, tops group E

Ville Jacques-Cartier, DC - Terre Septentrionale made the impossible! We beat Vangaziland twice and Banija once and finished in first place in group E! The Nordiques made a 34 yards field goal on their first drive in the 1st quarter and Vangaziland answered immediately with a 40 yards field goal on their first drive too and the score was 3-3 after 1 quarter. Then, early in the 4th quarter, Vangaziland's offense had the ball at their own 36 yards line when their quarterback tried to pass to a wide receiver but the ball was intercepted by Kennisha Hawkins-Henderson who caught the ball at the 50 yards line and ran all the way to the endzone for a pick six. The conversion was good and the score was 10-3 and that was the final score!

Terre Septentrionale   3  0  0  7  -  10
Vangaziland            3  0  0  0  -   3

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
9:45 - Field Goal by Nick deLuca (34 yards)
6:04 - Field Goal by Unknown Player (40 yards)

2ND QUARTER
No score

3RD QUARTER
No score

4TH QUARTER
13:48 - Touchdown by Kennisha Hawkins-Henderson (50 yards interception return). Extra point by Nick DeLuca.

1st place, series against Newmanistan

With this win against Vangaziland, the Reprezentacja Nordycki finished in 1st place in group E with 9 wins in 10 games. Our only loss was on matchday 3 against Banija. Terre Septentrionale is the 6th seed out of 8 group winners and will play against the 11th seed, which is Newmanistan. This powerful baseball nation is also goot at football and should'nt be underestimated. Sheldrick Ferguson-McCloud, who injured himself against Western Fardelshufflestein on week 6 has been upgraded to probable against Newmanistan. Emilio Sanchez suffered a leg injury against Vangaziland and will be questionnable against Newmanistan. If he can't play, both Tyson Konz and Dalton O'Halloran will play at right tackle. Colton Novak-Reigelsperger is listed as probable on the injury report and should be in uniform.

Karine Gingras,
La tribune Septentrionale

Playoffs predictions by Émilie-Rose Bourbeau

Ville Jacques-Cartier, DC - Hi y'all this is Émilie-Rose Bourbeau, I'm only 11 years old and my uncle (the editor) asked me to make predictions so here we go.

(F1) Ranoria vs. (B2) Jeckland

The first matchup is Ranoria against Jeckland. Ranoria is a top football nation, both professional and college. Jeckland, well they're a land of jecks and it's better than being jerks. Prediction: Ranoria wins 45-10.

(H1) Allamunnic States vs. (G2) Torisakia

Then, we have the Allamunnic States against Torisakia. The Allamunnic States are a top football nation but Torisakia are an hardworking team with lots of confidence. Both teams should win but we can only pick one winner. Prediction: Allamunnic States wins 17-17 (27-24 OT).

(G1) Free Republics vs. (H2) Abanhfleft

Free Republics against Abanleft. The Free Republics is the top team in the multiverse but mommy don't like them because she says they're run by a really bad girl who does lots of bad stuff but when I ask mommy what kind of stuff, she doesn't want me to know what stuff, but luckily we have the internet at home so I googled Scarlett Nicholls name and I saw a video of her in bed with some guy and... my eyes... I shoudln't have seen it. And then there's Abanleft who ain't leaving. Prediction: Free Republics wins 33-13.

(B1) Taeshan vs. (A2) Delaclava

Taeshan against current hosts Delaclava. Taeshan are a good nation who once won the World Bowl I think, but I'm too young to remember it. And they play against hosts Delaclava who are currently unranked. Delaclava beat Drawkland in group stage so I think they can beat Taeshan. Prediction: Delaclava wins 28-27.

(C1) Main Nation Ministry vs. (D2) Ko-oren

Main Nation Ministry against Ko-oren. MNM is an oddly named nation who doesn't like the Free Republics and their depraved leader and are always bombing them for no reason. Ko-oren is a cool and nice nation populated with dragonflies so I'm gonna pick the cute dragonflies. Prediction: Ko-oren wins 10-6.

(E1) Terre Septentrionale vs. (F2) Newmanistan

That's us. Let's keep us for the end.

(A1) Drawkland vs. (C2) Geektopia

Drawkland against Geektopia. Drawkland are a powerful football team, ranked 2nd and Geektopia are a bunch of 40 years old dudes with pimples living in their parents basement and doing stuff like role plays on their computer all day long. I think the drawks are better than the geeks. Prediction: Drawkland wins 51-38

(D1) Cassadaigua vs. (E2) Vangaziland

Cassadaigua are a cute matriarchy with a queen named Cassie. They actually copied the Drunk Peoples because they have a player named Cassie. They play against Vangaziland who I hates so much. Let's go copycats, girl power! Prediction: Cassadaigua wins 30-17.

(E1) Terre Septentrionale vs. (F2) Newmanistan

Then the matchup that I kept for the end. Terre Septentrionale against Newmanistan. Firstable, mommy says that any nation ending with the suffix "stan" are evil. Newmanistan are probably the most evil one, being led by the Lord Almighty Michael who gives prune juice and gruel to his population to control them. And they have "pervert chasers" and "enemy crushers" who are cutting peoples private parts and crushing peoples. Wait, I may have mixed up Newmanistan with Gregoryisgodistan but I think they're both evil cuz they shares the same suffix. Prediction: Newmanistan wins 21-20.

Émilie-Rose Bourbeau,
La tribune Septentrionale

by **Jeckland** » Sat Jul 11, 2020 4:47 pm

JECKLAND'S GRIDIRON TEAM MAKES ROUND OF 16

Jeckland have qualified for the Round of 16 of the World Bowl in their return to gridiron football, matching their best ever finish before isolation in an unlikely run.

The Spuds were drawn into Group B alongside a host of strong nations including Taeshan, Xanneria and Saint Kanye. The unranked side began as expected with a loss to the Yeezies, before a surprise overtime win at home to Xanneria which turned out to be the first sign of the team's credentials. Any suggestions this was a fluke were swiftly dismissed at Silver Beach, where a ruthless performance saw a whopping 56-0 victory that served as a statement of intent to the rest of the group - Jeckland were not here to make up the numbers.

Lisander were next up, and with that fixture came a second overtime victory, with the Spuds digging in and showing the grit and tenacity required to compensate for any shortage in ability compared to their opponents. Whilst the previous results had been viewed by fans largely in a standalone context, with scalps like Xanneria seen as events in themselves, at this point the wider picture became clear. Jeckland were top of the group, with a 3-1 record, and although they were still not expected to hold one of the top two positions come matchday 10, the possibility of this happening was becoming more real.

A strong Taeshani defence reminded Jeckland of their place in the world, with a 20-3 defeat bumping the Spuds back to fourth in a tightly contested group. But the Spuds wouldn't let this deter them, as they produced a stunning performance to reverse the previous outcome and defeat Saint Kanye on their own turf. However, a reverse in the next game benefitted Xanneria, whose 20-14 win meant that the two sides were level on head to head, with the Maroons 5-2 to Jeckland's 4-3. Taeshan on 6-1 looked unattainable, but there was still an outside chance the Spuds could pip the Xannerians with some help from their group-mates.

With the now more expected cruise to a 33-0 victory over Silver Beach, Jeckland drew level with Xanneria after they lost to Saint Kanye by a single point. However, they needed more than this, as the Maroons had the advantage over the Spuds on Head to Head Points Differential, meaning they would advance if the teams finished on identical records. To make things worse, Jeckland still had to play Taeshan, while Xanneria had an easier schedule, facing Silver Beach and Lisander.

But then the biggest surprise of the group thrust Jeckland into an unlikely second place. They eked out a 10-6 win in Lisander, whilst Xanneria succumbed 14-0 to the previously winless Silver Beach. Despite the fact Jeckland were now second, they needed to match the Xannerian result on the final day, which either meant victory over Taeshan, or for Lisander to do them a favour and win in Xanneria.

The former didn't happen, with Jeckland trounced 44-3 by their visitors at The Junction. Spuds fans waited with bated breath as the Group B games came to a close, until the scoreline they all wanted to see was confirmed - Lisander had done it,, beating Xanneria 17-14 and ensuring their countrymen a free pint from any gridirion fan in Jeckland. The Spuds were, by some miracle, through to the Round of 16.

This, however, is where the Jeckish fairytale is likely to come to an ugly end. Jeckland are by most measures the worst team left in the tournament - they are the only side left who got just six wins in the group stages, and alongside host nation Delaclava are the only unranked team left. Their six wins gives them the worst record and pits them against the number 1 seed in the Round of 16 - Ranoria, ranked third in the world and the only side to have won all ten of their group games. The only comparable opposition the Spuds have faced so far is Taeshan, where the gulf in quality was evident on both occasions. Of course, none of this will stop the Jeckish gridiron fans travelling to Coleport to get behind their team, but they are very likely to come back empty handed.

OOC: Anything written in quotation marks and bolded is from Saint Kanye's RP, with the following non bolded text in quotation marks from an online generator.

Technology has come a long way in recent years. Artificial Intelligence has taken over many tasks which humans used to do. But can it write like a human? Can it tell a story? Let's test that out...

I'm Ibbie Pemberton, and I'm about to take a risk. We've been testing whether a computer can generate reports on gridiron to the standard of foreign reporters and the answer so far has been no - with the caveat that some of the generated reports were wildly entertaining. But today I'll but turning the machine against myself. If this works, it could spell the end for my journalistic career, destroyed by the monster I helped to create. But I doubt that's going to happen.

Let's start at the very beginning - a very good place to start.

"Jeckland have qualified for the Round of 16 of the World Bowl in their return to gridiron football, matching their best ever finish before isolation in an unlikely run. The Scots, who have never been to the World Bowl, have won only two of their last 11 encounters in the championship (all as an independent), losing all four games by scores of 20, 25 and 20-13."

We're the Spuds, not the Scots, whatever they are. And whilst most of the facts in this second sentence are absolute hogwash, the gist of the message is on - this is an underdog team achieving things that were not expected of them. Let's see what happens next.

"But there is no shortage of positives to take from their 12-7 victory over the South Africans and 10-7 triumph over the Australians.

The Scots, who were relegated to the top tier of the competition in 2013, now have the ability to win a World Bowl as the second-best team in the world, having only missed the quarter-finals in their last seven appearances, including two finals victories last season."

Low scoring victories have been a staple of Jeckland's group stage run, although more made up nations such as South Africa and Austra are the victims in this scenario. Then things get confusing. The Scots (which is us, apparently) were relegated to the top tier of the competition. I can only assume this is the computer's attempt to understand the double elimination system in use from the quarter-finals onwards, something Jeckland will thankfully not have to try and wrap our heads around. We saw how confusing that can get in WBC 30, where we were wrongfully pronounced out of the tournament by organisers before returning to make the final.

We have never made the quarter finals, so I suppose we'll have missed them five times in a row if we lose tonight. But we also apparently won the final twice last season. How is it possible to lose in the quarter-finals and win in the final twice, I hear you ask? Double elimination. The teams that lose in the quarter-finals in the World Bowl are entered into another bracket, with the winners of that bracket having to beat the winners of the main bracket twice in order to claim the championship. Oh god, it's learning the format better than most humans. I'm going to a new quote, this is scaring me too much.

"Spuds fans waited with bated breath as the Group B games came to a close, until the scoreline they all wanted to see was confirmed - Lisander had done it,, beating Xanneria 17-14 and ensuring their countrymen a free pint from any gridirion fan in Jeckland. The game between the two teams had a lot to do with their relationship - Xanneria was set up just for the occasion - the two sides met up on many occasions with the goal of giving a free beer to anyone in Jeckland that was able to get a ticket to the game. It worked with Xanneria fans getting free beer from a number of the fans as they had come from the other side to see it."

It's not clear which two teams are being talked about initially, but it appears to be Xanneria and Jeckland. The report claims that the sides met on many occasions - if twice is many, then sure, but that the goal was to give Jecklanders a free beer if they attended the game. That is actually, and scarily again, partially true, with the expected poor attendances in Kyslo offset by the offer of a voucher off food and drink in the stadium for Jeckland fans. This offer did not extend to their opposition, which makes the next line more alarming, appearing to indicate that Xannerian fans came in from the Jeckish side of the stadium to claim discounted beer, possibly taking tickets from Jeckish supporters who wanted them. How dare they! If this is true (which it might be, this thing is getting more accurate) then shame on Xannerian fans, who will hopefully be barred (pun intended) from returning if they did such a thing. I hope they cried into their cut price beer when we won it in overtime. Too far for a possibly fictional scenario? Probably.

Right, that one's made me angry. Let's see if the computer has any ideas of what will happen in our next match.

"Their six wins gives them the worst record and pits them against the number 1 seed in the Round of 16 - Ranoria, ranked third in the world and the only side to have won all ten of their group games. The second placed teams can progress to the Round of 16 on a points tally of five.

The other teams from the Group A (B & C) will be revealed in the weeks to come, so stay tuned for more information on all teams."

What the fuck? This bot appears to have travelled back in time to before the group stages, also falsely claiming that teams can progress to the Round of 16 with five 'points'. Even if this is taken to mean wins, the Spuds were lucky to do so with six - so that five claim is bullshit. I don't know why, because this is clearly wrong, but I'm compelled to find out what else the computer has to say about whatever it's talking about.

"The Group D draw will take place in the weeks to come, so keep track of that too. The Round of 16 will begin in the week commencing Monday 14th October 2012, the Quarter finals and Semi finals on Tuesday 25th October 2012."

This is what I would describe as 'sensible nonsense'. It describes a tournament structure that could be true, although it falls down when claiming that the Quarter Finals and Semi Finals would be played on the same day. Whilst this could be the case for many sports, it wouldn't happen in gridiron. But we can't be sure if that's what the computer is talking about.

"For the latest news and information on the upcoming league, make sure you follow us on Twitter @CPL_LoL

Follow @LoL_CPL

Like us on Facebook to be kept up to date with all the latest news, views and other bits and pieces of information pertaining to the League!"

What the Margaret is this? I'm assuming Twitter and Facebook are some kind of made up social media sites, but the World Bowl isn't a league. It's also bizarre how both handles used include the acronym lol, obviously meaning laugh out loud. I think, if it is at all possible to do so, we can derive out prediction for the World Bowl game from this - the world will be laughing out loud at Ranoria as they are knocked out by a worse side. Jeckland are going to the quarter-finals!

Whilst the computer showed some scary signs of things beyond human capability, such as uncovering Xannerian beer syndicates, predicting the results of sports matches through the medium of twitter handles, or understanding double elimination, it still fails to replace my deftly woven narratives - I hope. Because if I'm wrong, I'll be searching for a new job soon. The Spuds will probably get knocked out in the Round of 16 in any case, but in case my bullish prediction comes off, you'd better make sure you Watch.

by **Cassadaigua** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 8:47 am

Preparing for the playoffs,
by Hannah Rafferty- SS

The regular group stage period of the World Bowl is complete, and we have come a long way from the difficulty of losing the opener against TJUN-ia in the way that we did. For some teams, they could have ended them, but we did not let that affect us. In a way, it might have made us a little stronger and little more determined. That loss was going to be replayed in many countries over and over again, and whether or not there was holding on the run back will never really matter. Now, with the dust settled on the group stage, we have been able to win the war after losing that battle. We captured the group, thanks to a big 35-7 win over The Jovannic on the final matchday. This gave us an 8-2 record, as we held the tiebreaker over Ko-oren, that distinction is ours. We don’t get the best seed of the group winners for the playoffs, only drawing the #8, but that is where we are, and we will have to make do with it.

The playoffs are double elimination, giving it a little different flair then maybe we have seen in the past. We will be heading to Laurelum, within Delaclava for our opening game against Vangaziland. They are ranked ninth in the world, but it is difficult to find any real information about their team. They’re players have simply represented the country in an anonymous fashion, with nothing being written about them that we could uncover. This secretive approach gets tried by many nations throughout sports, and sometimes it can work for a while, but you really never see it lead to a championship. Therefore, I am still not sure why teams elect to use this strategy. We have enough game film of them so can prepared by evaluating the players by their jersey number. For us, we head into the game healthy, which is not something to be overlooked at this stage in a sport as physical as football.

I think we are all happy with the way that we have played to this point. Naturally, everyone can point to things as individuals that they feel they could have done better, but as a unit, going 8-2 is a success. We are not yet one of the elite teams in the World Bowl. We are getting there, and showing that we are a contender, but we are really in that next tier of teams that will be seen as having a possible shot if things go their way, but that is what it will take. We know that the Vangazis scored more points then anyone within the group stage, but as a defense, we are excited about that challenge. That will be the first step, and you can never fall back on this being a double elimination format. You want to stay in the winners half for as long as you can!

by **Ranoria** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 3:40 pm

Derek McNair Sits in Final Game, Backups Handle the Job

Backup quarterback Jeremiah Quill performed as to be expected. It was his first action in a World Bowl game, and he played only one quarter

10-0! The Ranorian National Team has finally made a real mark in the tournament this season, securing both the top seed in the knockout stage and dropping everyone who's stood in their path thus far. Their 14-0 win over Lovisa only cements this, especially with numerous backups in the game. Among those sitting out were the entire starting defensive line, Vice Jackson III, wideouts Ricardo Jackson and Mario Terrin, tight end Johnny Farmer, and cornerback Darnell Sleight. Oh, and of course the star quarterback of the team, Derek McNair, opted out.

Quarterback Baker Owens played three quarters. He played well, with 119 yards and just one interception. Jeremiah Quill, who is practically living off his World Bowl checks at this point, was a pure runner. He attempted just three passes in the fourth quarter, going 1/3 for one yard, when Katterfield had to reach behind his route on a checkdown to haul in the catch. He did rush six times for twenty seven yards, however.

Against out first opponent, 6-4 Jeckland, this well rested and hot team should have no trouble carrying the day. Expect a cruise of a victory that will get our team ready for the tougher matchups that are soon to come later. McNair was unstoppable, after all, in the group stage, going 9-0. He finished with an impressive statline of 165/219, with 2,466 yards and 18 touchdowns against just 3 picks. With 40 carries for over 200 yards and another four scores, he made sure the entire world knows that he is a pure dual threat quarterback capable of shredding a defense with his arm or gashing them with his legs.

Many players sat out of this one, including #1 WR Ricardo Jackson (left)

Knockout Stage Preview: Ranoria a Clear Favorite...But are we Looking Past Jeckland?

Look, we can all be honest here, Ranoria is a 10-0 football team. We had three ranked teams in our group with Bongo Johnson at 55, Inner AginanaUsordia at 24, and Newmanistan at 10. We had close games, two of them coming from Newmanistan, so it isn't like this team will fall apart the second they're given some competition. But the playoffs are different.

Jeckland is unranked, yes, but their own media is, boldly, predicting them to beat Ranoria, and make our national team a laughingstock of both the tournament and the world. Their team started out poorly with a loss, but rallied to win three straight in what would be the catalyst for a surprise season. That unranked title won't last long, we can assure our readers of that, and they are technically one of the best 16 teams in the world this season. They finished the season at 3-3, so they aren't hot, but a miracle win by another team, after their own loss, sent them to the playoffs. So should we be worried?

Well, here's the thing. The #2 team in Ranoria's group Newmanistan, was the only squad to really give us a run for our money, and they did it twice. They also finished 8-2, meaning they won every game in which Derek McNair wasn't on the field. Their offense was about as good as Jeckland's, scoring 195 to Jeckland's 194, but Newmanistan scored a total of 13 points against Ranoria. Their rather strong 19.5 points per game dropped to just 6.5 against Ranoria, and Jeckland will likely be in that range as well. The reason I do not think Ranoria will lose is Jeckland's defense.

Derek McNair led one of the best offensive units in this tournament. Ranoria's offense was the 3rd best in terms of scoring, and McNair didn't even play in our final game. Our second string quarterback played most of the game and our third stringer, who hasn't played professionally outside of the World Bowl in years, played the fourth quarter. Newmanistan's defense was tough, and that's the reason they gave Ranoria a hard time, allowing just 8.8 points per game (Ranoria scored 27 points against them, good for 13.5 per game) Jeckland's defense isn't even in that realm, allowing 160 points over the course of the group stage, almost twice that of Newmanistan. Newmanistan scored 107 more points than they allowed...Jeckland scored 34 more than they let up. Granted, Jeckland has a blowout victory to their name, but this team is a severe underdog...hell though, I'd take the bet!

by **Free Republics** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:18 pm

Other than a 3 point loss to Sarzonia, the Free Republics had looked every bit the #1 ranked team and reigning champion during the group stage. The offense had averaged 30.5 points per game in the group stage while the defense had conceded 9.8. This had earned them a rematch with Abanhfleft. The previous year, they had met the Fleftics for a second group stage match in the midst of Dania Sandberg's slump and escaped with a 10-6 win. 2 years prior, these teams had met 4 times, twice in each group stage, and the Republicans had taken 3 out of 4. They fully expected to win and advance to the 8 team double elimination tournament to crown a champion.

The bigger concern in the Free Republics at the moment was for Scarlett Nicholls, who was now the senior consul. She had been shot while in the process of deciding the winner of the election for the next consul of the Free Republics. Samuel Izmailov and Nova Hellstrom-Hancock had effectively finished in a tie and recounts had proven insufficiently conclusive to determine a decisive winner. The Supreme Court had refused to pick a winner insisting that it had no jurisdiction to determine the winners of elections and ruling that the Constitution required a concurrent resolution passed by both the Assembly and Senate and signed by all currently serving consuls to determine the outcome of the election. Alternatively, if they couldn't agree, the election could be thrown out and a new election held. When the Senate and Assembly disagreed on whether to declare Izmailov or Hellstrom-Hancock the winner, they came up with a compromise: pass 2 separate resolutions declaring each of them the winner and let Scarlett Nicholls decide. Scarlett turned this into a television special and was shot on live TV by somebody wearing a Blueshirt uniform. At the hospital, she had signed the resolution declaring Nova Hellstrom-Hancock the new consul of the Free Republics and vetoed the Samuel Izmailov one.

The Federation Investigation Bureau assigned Maik Moeller, an agent who had previously been their head of security for the Republica Olympics, to lead the investigation into the assassination attempt. The assassin had been IDed as Paul Bachmeier, a Nordernious national. When Izmailov had complained about mail-in ballot fraud involving various countries he had called for invading, a suspicious number of absentee ballots sent from Nordernious had been uncovered. Moeller had his suspicions that Nordernious may have been interfering in the election on behalf of Izmailov and was trying to get answers from the assailant who spoke with a heavy Nordernian accent (OOC: Think RL German accent). Moeller entered the interrogation room and addressed the suspect:

Maik Moeller - First off, are you Mr. Paul Bachmeier from Siegfried, Nordernious?

Paul Bachmeier - That is correct.

Maik Moeller - Mr. Bachmeier, I would encourage you to cooperate fully with this investigation. Should you refuse, the FIB can ensure that you spent the rest of your life, which would likely be rather short, in custody. We aren't playing games.

Paul Bachmeier - Understood, sir. I wish to cooperate fully with your investigation.

Maik Moeller - Mr. Bachmeier, why did you make an attempt on the life of Consul Scarlett Nicholls?

Paul Bachmeier - I did not try to take her life. My goal was to force her to sign the piece of paper that would make Senator Izmailov our consul and another piece of paper that we had prepared that would be an official resignation.

Maik Moeller - How long have you been within the borders of the Free Republics?

Paul Bachmeier - I arrived in this country less than 2 hours before my job.

Maik Moeller - Have you been in the Free Republics before this visit?

Paul Bachmeier - I've been here many times.

Maik Moeller - Did you visit the consul's mansion prior to sneaking in and shooting the consul?

Paul Bachmeier - I did.

Maik Moeller - When did you do so?

Paul Bachmeier - A couple weeks ago. I was sent here to scope out the area for a potential job.

Maik Moeller - You keep referring to this as a "job". What do you mean by this?

Paul Bachmeier - You see, sir, I'm a fixer and I was paid by somebody to ensure that Samuel Izmailov became the sole consul of the Free Republics by any means necessary.

Maik Moeller - Who paid you?

Paul Bachmeier - I do not know.

Maik Moeller - Did you have any contacts?

Paul Bachmeier - I did not but I understand that a national government was involved.

Maik Moeller - Which national government?

Paul Bachmeier - I don't know but I'm told that they supported Izmailov because they were hoping he would deliver on his promise to Invade the World and thus soften up a number of countries that they want to conquer.

Maik Moeller - Unfortunately, you're most likely compromised so we probably can't use you to track them down but I just want to make sure of one thing first: Did you have any contact with the government of Nordernious?

Paul Bachmeier - No sir. I maintain my permanent residence there but I do not have any political connections.

Maik Moeller - And have you had any contact with Samuel Izmailov or any other member of his campaign staff or his militia organization?

Paul Bachmeier - Not to my knowledge.

Maik Moeller - Then why were you wearing the uniform of a so-called "Blueshirt" when you were arrested?

Paul Bachmeier - I was told to wear it.

Maik Moeller - And finally, why did you pull the trigger?

Paul Bachmeier - Because Scarlett refused to do what she was told. That shot was a warning that she had better start complying if she knew what was good for her. Unfortunately, I got caught.

Maik Moeller - Thank you for your cooperation.

After leaving the interrogation room, Moeller contacted his friends at the RIA to ask them for help corroborating or debunking Bachmeier's testimony...

by **Allamunnic States** » Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:28 pm

Allamunnika Daily
Sports - World Bowl XXXIX Coverage

Allamunnae gallop to victory
Regs extend winning streak with 37-0 road win over Karditan
by Aldyn Wyrnur

Karditan's national team took the field in Indianeighpolis for the rubber rematch for the Regulars-Ironworkers rivalry, perhaps hoping to score an elusive victory in the latest installment of the two teams' frequent meetings. But, in their 11th game against one another, it was not to be, as the Regulars recorded their 7th consecutive shutout win (and 8th in the 11 games the teams have played) while bringing their tally of unanswered points to 147, to clinch a playoff spot in World Bowl XXXIX. The win also all-but-guaranteed that the Regulars would win Group H (more on that later), even as Abahnfleft technically kept their hopes alive with a 28-7 win over eliminated UCR.

The Ironworkers came prepared to stop the run, and in exchange QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn turned in the kind of performance many had hoped he'd deliver in such a situation that would force teams to respect the Allamunnic passing game, going 15/21 for 246 yards and two touchdowns without turning over the ball. The success would enable the Regulars to run down the clock late and close out their sixth shutout win of World Bowl XXXIX.

The tone was set relatively early in the game when Kaarlsunn dropped a deep throw down the seam to TE#89 Torren Rikards for a 32-yard touchdown. It was followed later in the quarter by a 38-yard field goal by K#15 Sofya Torrus to extend the lead to 10-0. The lead would be extended again early in the second quarter when Kaarlsunn dumped a 4-yard shovel pass to HB#22 Fredrik Eriksunn. Kaarlsunn would strike one more time in the half, scrambling 7 yards on a broken pass attempt for a touchdown, sending the teams to the locker room at 24-0.

Torrus would add another field goal (28 yards) in the third quarter, followed by a 2-yard run by Eriksunn out of the Power I, blocked for by Staalburg, Hendriks, and Jordsunn. By the time the fourth quarter rolled around, the Regulars were prepared to pull their starters. Torrus would add another 30-yard field goal in the fourth quarter to give the final margin of victory, 37-0.

With the win, the Regulars put themselves definitively in control of the group. Going into the climactic match-up against Abahnfleft in Dunnmaar, the Regulars can win Group H outright with a win, or by losing the final game against Abahnfleft by 29 points or fewer. Why that specific margin? Obviously a win would give the Regulars a record advantage as well as the head-to-head advantage over Abahnfleft. However, a loss of fewer than 29 points would leave the Regulars, despite a tied 8-2 record, with the head-to-head tiebreaker over the Fleftics on head-to-head point differential. Even a loss of 29 points would leave the Regulars ahead on overall point differential; only Abahnfleft winning by 30 points or more would allow them to take the group lead based on head-to-head record due to point differential.

If the Regulars do win against Abahnfleft, they will be the favorites to lock up the #2 overall seed in the first knockout round; should Ranoria falter in their final game, the Regulars might even be in play for the #1 overall seed. Either way, they have one more consequential game before the elimination rounds begin.

Statistical Leaders:

Passing:
QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn - 15/21, 246 yds, 2 TDs
QB#14 Olevyr Ward - 1/1, 9 yds
Total: 16/22, 255 yds, 2 TDs

Rushing:
HB#22 Fredrik Eriksunn - 10 rush, 72 yds, TD
HB#31 Piotr Sfynsunn - 11 rush, 45 yds
QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn - 8 rush, 41 yds, TD
FB#24 Derrik Staalburg - 8 rush, 38 yds
QB#14 Olevyr Ward - 2 rush, 9 yds
Total: 39 rush, 205 yds, 2 TDs

Allamunnika Daily
Sports - World Bowl XXXIX Coverage

Group H Conquered!
19-6 win in Dunnmaar clinches group title for Regulars
by Aldyn Wyrnur

Abahnfleft's best was not enough on a wet, chilly day in Dunnmaar, in front of a raucous crowd, to stop the Regulars from clinching Group H and the #2 overall seed for the first knockout round in Delaclava. The first-string Regulars came out fired up, shutting out the Fleftics through three quarters while the defense built a 16-0 lead. At the beginning of the fourth quarter, head coach Rik Olafsunn somewhat controversially rested the team's starters even with the game still in reach for Abahnfleft, and the second-team defense and offense had to stave off a brief rally that cut the Regulars' lead to 19-6 by the final whistle.

The Regulars leaned heavily on the leg of K#15 Sofya Torrus in the mud and rain, counting on her to drill field goals of 34, 29, 41, and 38 yards over the course of the day to complement a single touchdown (which came courtesy of a 1-yard dive by FB#24 Derrik Staalburg in the second quarter) to win the day. The big difference came from the Regulars' defense, who forced an unreal seven turnovers by the Fleftic offense on the day, including six in the first three quarters, mostly forced fumbles. Meanwhile, the Allamunnae were able to keep the ball on the ground, operating almost exclusively out of jumbo and multi-back sets to hammer the Fleftics under; QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn only attempted 6 passes on the day, completing two of them (and with one interception) for a total of 15 yards.

Fearing injuries heading into the knockout round, with the Regulars' spot atop Group H secure, Rik Olafsunn began sitting his starters when the 3rd quarter ended, leaving the Allamunnic back-ups to carry the rest of the load. They didn't disappoint, staving off what looked like the beginnings of a rally, answering two Fleftic field goals with one of their own and cutting a promising red zone Fleftic drive short on an interception.

The final win gave the Regulars the largest point differential of the qualifying stages, ahead of defending champions Free Republics (9-1) and #1 seed Ranoria (10-0), to clinch the #2 overall seed and a match up with Torisakia, a capable team that managed to fight their way to a second-place finish in a tough Group G behind the aforementioned defending champions while also having to battle through old World Bowl hands Sarzonia, a choppy Greater Nordics team, and explosive Northwest Kalactin squad, and a surprisingly competent Kohnhead team. It remains to be seen if Torisakia can take advantage of the well-documented 'formula' for beating the Regulars (it's hardly a secret that stuffing the run is necessary to slow them down), but either way the Regulars have no room for error; while the playoffs will be double-elimination starting with the quarterfinal round, the round of sixteen, held in Delaclava, is one and done. All the Torisakians have to do is come out and outplay the Regulars once.

Statistical Leaders:

Passing:
QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn - 2/6, 15 yds, INT
QB#14 Olevyr Ward - 0/1, 0 yds
Total: 2/7, 15 yds, INT

Rushing:
FB#24 Derrik Staalburg - 10 rushes, 51 yds, TD
HB#31 Piotr Sfynsunn - 10 rushes, 47 yds
HB#22 Fredrik Eriksunn - 7 rushes, 38 yds
QB#12 Ed Kaarlsunn - 7 rushes, 31 yds
HB#23 Lucy Jaans - 6 rushes, 40 yds
QB#14 Olevyr Ward - 6 rushes, 33 yds
Total: 46 rushes, 237 yds, TD

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