Stacking the Deck
Validity: Cannot have high culture.
Description
The @@NAME@@ art community is up in arms after the nation’s finest work was rated a mere “common” at two extremely prestigious international art symposiums, painting a poor picture of the @@DEMONYM@@ intellectual scene. In response, a colorful spread of individuals has stormed your office to demand you take action.
Option 1
“Zis is outrageous!” shrieks renowned painter @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, throwing his beret on the ground before dusting it off and putting it back on. “Ve pour our very blood into our craft! Eef zis is ze respect ve are getting, ve shall not tolerate it any longer! Vif your support, ve shall conduct our own explosive events, and make ze eenternational community beg for our forgiveness!” He lets out a hearty laugh.
Effect: diplomats sign treaties with themselves to avoid rejection
Option 2
“Come now, aren’t we being a tad childish?” chides associate professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, peering over his bifocals. “It’ll only serve to hurt us if we throw a tantrum on the international scene over something as frankly trivial as this. Through a generous government program to fund the arts, we can become a shining example to the rest of the world. We’ll do better at future events too, of course. On merit.”
Effect: children’s arts and crafts projects are reviewed by professional critics
Option 3
“Are you seriously going to dilute our government’s focus over this?” asks Finance Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ makes a frowny face out of some coins on your desk. “Why do we even need to fund the arts in the first place? It’s not like they provide any sort of return on our investment. We should be allocating more money to programs that yield practical results, like the new missile research my brother’s heading.”
Effect: nepotism is considered an essential government expenditure
Option 4
“If ya wanna win in life, ya gotta grease the wheels,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bad personal injury lawyer with an even worse combover. “Cut some backroom deals. Bring some potentially problematic issues to other governments’ attention. Propose an international law or two. Donate to a good cause. Get our great country noticed for doing something unique. If foreigners start to notice us, they’ll want our support. And we can use that to our advantage.”
Effect: the nation’s diplomats carry briefcases full of cash
Option 5
“The judgement of mere mortals matters not in the eyes of the almighty!” rants @@RANDOMNAME@@, a prophet of the obscure Proscenium Cult, trying to break down one of your office’s walls before being restrained by security. “We must appeal to the divine, and beg for Their holy grace! Through a higher power, our victory will be inevitable. Through sacrifice, our path shall be assured! We shall win all contests, and all displays of strength! It will be legendary!”
Effect: some things are best handled through moderation
