RP/OPEN/IC - Bill Gates does COVID-19

[America under Bill Gates]

OOC: This is a roleplay and nothing in it should be confused with reality.

THE OVAL OFFICE

President Gates was sat at his desk in the Oval Office, looking over the latest reports from his foundation about the findings of Event 201. His presidency had not been particularly successful. The coalition of moderate Democrats and Republicans he had built in Congress had been swept away by victorious primary challenges from the far-left and far-right. Core constituencies like Reddit had been increasingly negative about him ever since Vice President Musk was forced to resign for calling a caver ‘pedo guy’. The way things were going, it was unlikely he would win re-election in a year’s time.

Suddenly, as he read the report, an idea came to his mind. He could engineer a worldwide pandemic and respond to it effectively with his great intellect so that the American people would surely have to re-elect him when they saw how other countries would fail! But no, that would not guarantee success. Another idea came to his mind – a mind control vaccine. Yes, that would leave no room for error. He could also make a lot of money of it. ‘And finally have population control in the third world,’ he sneeringly thought.

He picked up his phone and called the one man who could help. “Hello, yes, President Gates. Look, Xi, I have a favor to ask of you…”

ILLUMINATI HEADQUARTERS

The leaders of the world sat around the table, wondering in silence why Golgerath (Bill Gates) and Oggeroth (Xi Jinping) had called a meeting. Hillary Clinton, who was chairing the meeting, checked her watch. “Alright, the minute of silence for our former leader Jeffrey Epstein is over… it was a shame that we had to kill him, but imagine if he had spilt the beans on us. There was no other choice,” she said.

“Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering why Oggeroth and I have called you to this meeting. I will now tell you. We have devised plans for a new infectious disease. We're calling it COVID-19,” Gates said. President Gates explained how a mind control vaccine could be designed so that the Illuminati could finally not just take over the world but the minds of everyone in the world. By the end of his explanation, everyone in the room was nodding with approval…

[America under Bill Gates]

(bump)

[Nationalist Northumbria]

BAMBURGH, NORTHUMBRIA

In Northumbria, President Alvin Ashleigh had not believed the globalist lie that COVID-19 was a threat and had refused repeated demands to put the country in an economy-destroying lockdown. For his defiance, they had killed hundreds of thousands of Northumbrians through some unknown means. As he looked at the photos the Munkcestrian Assassins Stopping Socialism On Duty (MASSOD) had taken of the Illuminati meeting where the coronavirus had been devised, he was shocked. "How could these people do such a thing?" he asked his advisers.

"We believe that they are not people, but in fact reptilians," replied his chief adviser.

Ashleigh sighed. "In that case, there is only one man who we can rely on. We will have to talk to Tamesas," he said. His advisers were shocked. The last time they had talked to Tamesas he had started going on about being mind raped by a transgender pornographic producer, director, and actress. But Ashleigh was right, there was no other choice.

[Nationalist Northumbria]

bump

[Nationalist Northumbria]

“That is a very important point, Tamesas,” said Alvin Ashleigh, who had decided that the best course of action for dealing with the man appearing via video feed on the screen before him was to agree with whatever he said. “The Mars bar is indeed a Satanic plot to change your DNA, making you unredeemable for God.”

Tamesas nodded, Ashleigh having restated what he himself had said just moments before. “Yes, and by getting the Mars bar inside your body they will be able to track you. It seems likely that not just Elon Musk but also Bill Gates are behi-“

“Wait, Bill Gates?”

“Yes, Bill Gates. The President of the United States. And you will never guess how I found all this out. Earlier I performed an experiment by feeding a Mars bar to a rat. The rat fell under some sort of mind control, but obviously it being a rat instead of a human meant that this control was not absolute, and it tried to warn me about a conspiracy before the elites somehow silenced it by blowing it up,” said Tamesas. “My trailer is in ruins right now, which is why I’m in this tent.”

Ashleigh gasped. “Just earlier we received definitive evidence that COVID-19 was manufactured by the Illuminati, originally proposed by Bill Gats and Xi Jinping, as part of a plot to place everyone under mind control using a mandatory vaccine! The Mars bar must be the prototype vaccine they are making!”

[Nationalist Northumbria]

INTERLUDE.

pictured: A key Northumbrian adviser discusses the implications of the Mars bar vaccine with Ashleigh

[La Xinga]

The La xingan ambassador to the Illuminati also nods in approval, but falsely. He takes the info that he got and rushes into the La xingan health ministry and tells them the issue. The government now will stop taking vaccines from other countries, and products that come into contact with the human body must be checked.

[America under Bill Gates]

The La xingan ambassador to the Illuminati also nods in approval, but falsely. He takes the info that he got and rushes into the La xingan health ministry and tells them the issue. The government now will stop taking vaccines from other countries, and products that come into contact with the human body must be checked.

You are banned from this RP because I find your style of posting irritating. I hope you understand this decision.

[DarKspawnerreich]

Protestors protest something.