World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Vdara]

On Cloud Nine (unbeaten)

After the kerfuffle that was the bus trip, Vdara had finally made it to Kandorith’s stadium. Some of the players were in awe at how nice it looked, whereas some were just ready to play football. Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was in the same boat as the latter, which was made clear as the players got settled into the away dressing room.

”Don’t let the stadium fool you,” Væñøœrëñbérghüïś began, ”it’s no better than the VdarArena. Kandorith are a tough opponent, but not as tough as you think. If we work well together, we can grab a point or three tonight, ya hear? We might be down, but we’re not out! Kandorith may still be in the running to qualify, but we’re gonna stop that, ya hear? We are Vdara, and we’re gonna give those Kandorese a hell of a tough time! Let’s get out there!”

And get out there they did, exiting the tunnels to be surrounded by nearly 90,000 people in the absolutely humongous Empress Masumi Stadium. The players knew that Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was wrong, this stadium was a LOT better than the VdarArena. It had almost three times the capacity, how could it not be? Anyhow, onto the pitch the players went, with the few Vdaran fans in attendance - albeit drowned out by the many Kandorese - loudly cheering at the sight of ’Oi Magoi’. Væñøœrëñbérghüïś took a peek at his managerial opponent - Ken Hayabusa. He didn’t know much about him, but he did notice that he looked around the same age as him, which was quite shocking considering the age of most other international managers he had faced.


The match report is as follows:

1: Well, Vdara’s qualification hopes are well and truly in the gutter, but Kandorith still has a chance! Can they beat the on-form Vdarans or will their qualification hopes be dashed by Oi Magoi? Find out tonight!
5: Oh dear, it’s an early card for Valentinos Giannakos, who’s committed quite a rubbish tackle on poor Hayashi.
6: Vdara are pushing forward dangerously, to the dismay of many of the home crowd. Vlahiades is quite far forward, and he’s put it to Stamatelis. Stamatelis then puts the ball forward for Lazelis to take to boot, and he does quite gracefully. Lazelis takes a shot... and it dinks off the bar and ends up at the feet of Ando Masatake.
10: The Lotus Warriors are starting to get more attacking, as Hoshi passes it to Katano, who makes a dangerous run forward... and slots it past Moustakakos! It’s a gorgeous goal from the 20-year-old, as Kandorith go a goal up! The home crowd are absolutely loving it!
15: Vdara are pushing forward quickly for an equaliser, as Xeniadis puts it forward to Mavroglou, who starts moving forward. Mavroglou puts it forward to Fotellis... who’s been dispossessed by Miyake.
18: The home fans are really causing a racket here, and Ken Hayabusa appears to be loving it! Væñøœrëñbérghüïś is as well, surprisingly. Maybe it’s because he’s never been in a stadium of this capacity, or maybe he’s never heard as many fans be so co-ordinated in their chants. This didn’t put him or the players off, though.
24: Lazelis has nabbed the ball off of Hirano, and he’s running forward, and fast. He’s left Miyake in the dirt, Takahashi attempts a tackle and misses both Lazelis and the ball, Lazelis takes the shot... which flies past Kiyotada and gives Vdara the equaliser! The few thousand away fans are cheering madly, this goal has greatly pleased them!
30: Væñøœrëñbérghüïś appears to be contemplating bringing a substitute on, which he never usually does this early in the game. He’s yet to do it, however.
31: Well, this is odd. Barely a third into the game, and Væñøœrëñbérghüïś has taken Giannakos off in favour of Galanatos? Well, he’s made his decision now, and we’ll see how it turns out.
39: Galanatos has the ball at Vdara’s end of the pitch, and he’s hoofed it right up the pitch. Karalas heads the ball back to Mavroglou, who puts it through Karalas’ legs to Lazelis. Lazelis nutmegs Takahashi, but Masatake rescues the ball with a wonderful tackle.
45: Well, it’s even stevens here in Kandorith, and both sides are neck and neck. Join us after the break!

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś looked quite pleased with his teams performance as he walked out of the dugout, and he made that clear in his half-time team talk.

”You know... we’ve actually done a lot better than I expected. You lads certainly know how to deal with the pressure of over 85,000 fans breathing down your neck at every move you make, and I admire that. Now, if you didn’t know already, by keeping this result, Kandorith’s qualification hopes go into the gutter that we’re already in. We may already have been eliminated, but why not take another team with us while we’re at it? I know it’s quite cruel, but this is football. Everything is cruel. With that in mind, let’s get our heads back in the game and get straight back out there!”

46: The game restarts to thunderous applause, as the many fans here at the Empress Masumi Stadium are very much excited for the game to get back underway.
57: Kandorith appear to be gearing up to bring some substitutes on, as Hisagushi and Muri warm up on the sidelines.
60: These substitutes are indeed coming on, with Hayashi and Miyake being subbed off.
62: It’s an early yellow card for Hideto Muri, who was given the card for a rubbish tackle on Tryfon Vlahiades.
70: Vdara have managed to get themselves in a dangerous position, as Vlahiades prepares to cross the ball into the box. However, before he gets a chance, Hisagushi dispossesses him, and clears the ball.
80: Time is running out here, and Kandorith’s qualification hopes could be dashed in their own home stadium. Can they rescue them, or will they be damned to the qualifiers for another World Cup?
89: Kandorith have a corner here, as Katano swings one into the box. Takahashi gets a lovely header on it... and it’s in the net! The fans are cheering like mad! Wait... the linesman’s flag is up! Takahashi was offside! The goal is not counted, and it’s still 1-1! A collective groan is emanating from the home crowd here, they thought they’d won it!
90: The whistle’s blown for the final time tonight, and Vdara’s travelling fans are delighted! They may not have won, but they’ll take that draw, and gladly!

While exiting the pitch, Hayabusa shook hands with Væñøœrëñbérghüïś. Hayabusa didn’t look particularly pleased to be in contact with the man who had just engineered the end of his qualifying hopes, but he still shook Væñøœrëñbérghüïś’ hand respectfully.

In the dressing room, the players were delighted. Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was still wiping sweat off his brow from Kandorith’s late disallowed goal, and had this to say to his team:

”Well, I hope you lads are proud of yourselves. That was a fantastic performance given the circumstances, and the unbeaten run continues. It’s amazing how we’ve kept it up for, what is it now, nine games? Amazing. Just... amazing. You’ve made many people at home and the few thousand travelling fans here very happy tonight, and the same goes for me. Our next game is against Monglechabagd, so if you could keep the run going for an unprecedented ten games, that would be great. Right, let’s get going! I’m sure you’d all be happy just to get back home, wouldn’t you? I certainly would.”

[Mriin]

And here we are, the last matchday of qualifiers. I'm sure we'll all look back and ask, "wasn't that a party?" Cutoff for Groups 8-15!

[Kelssek]

Scores for MD26, groups 1-7

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Conmore des Paveillons, now a private citizen, stumbled back into his home and barely locked the door behind him. Going to drink was not an uncommon thing to do, but tonight was to drown his sorrows. A military career, working his way up the Oberour Ar Moro bureaucracy, now for naught. He collapsed on the couch and fell into a drunken stupor.

The pounding in his head woke him up the next morning. The first day of the rest of his life. He decided hair of the dog might be called for and walked to the kitchen when a stuffed file folder sitting on the counter caught his eye. Where did this come from?

Bleary-eyed and bleary headed he was, even he could understand what the paperwork in the folder meant. He had survived as long as he did by digging in with his fingernails. This documentation meant he could dig in his nails one last time and take someone down with him.

---

Collas d'Arcueil took a brief moment to soak in the peace and quiet. He had knocked des Paveillons out of the Research Ministry. The Chancellor's office had just called to confirm that Christien Perrucai, the Special Envoy for Science and Technology, was going to be officially named to serve as the new Minister of Research. Christien was a loyalist, he wouldn't get any ideas out of his station. The Institute for Particle Research was back under his control. His destiny, again, was secure.

Until it wasn't, as highly armed Interior officers burst into his office, flashing warrants and collecting everything not nailed down.

---

"Minister of Foreign Affairs Collas d'Arcueil was arrested today in his office at the Rue du Pet-au-Diable. According to paperwork filed with the Justices of Assises, d'Arcueil will be charged with corruption, bribery, and illicit enrichment, though the matter is early. We understand charges were brought after evidence of malfeasance emerged. We go now to our legal correspondent..."

Dr. Caterine Forestier clicked mute on her remote, silencing the television. She turned back to Erica Reclus and Nycollas Mauranghas, seated in Dr. Forestier's office. "Conmore took the documents we gathered and went to the government, and now d'Arcueil is off my back. That seems to have sent Comte de Brumes into hiding, who knows where he's off to. I've already spoken to Christien Perrucai, the new minister. He is very eager to move IPR away from the des Paveillons/d'Arcueil age if only to protect his job. Spending will be down, and research is to focus on more conventional projects. Chronon research, time research...that's almost over. I just need to officially give the word."

"So I guess that this is over?" Nycollas asked, looking to Caterine and Erica in turn.

"Hopefully, when Caterine lets the rest of the IPR know about the research changes, that will be the end. If we've done everything we can, that should be the end of the Hieratic age before it began." Caterine smiled at Nycollas. "Thank you for everything you've done."

"Thank you, you saved my life at least three times," Nycollas replied. "Though, what will happen if..."

Erica laughed lightly "I've checked. As of right now..." she looked down at her phone, then looked back up "...you'll have a long life with a lot of football ahead of you."

Nycollas sighed. Thank goodness.

Caterine stood up from her desk. "I'm going to go speak to the chief scientists, they're expecting me. Thank you for everything Erica. Good luck." She walked over to Erica and hugged her, before leaving the room. Erica and Nycollas were alone.

Erica stood up as well. "I guess...I think...that I should go back to my time. Or something close to my time." She shook her head. "The planet I was born on probably wouldn't have been colonized if the Hieratic Age never existed. I don't know what it'll be like."

Nycollas rose as well. "You can't...stay here?"

Erica shrugged. "I'd like to, but there is a chance that I couldn't exist here even if I wanted to. This is pretty unprecedented. Hopefully unprecedented. It's strange."

Nycollas nodded slowly in agreement. "It really is."

"So..." Erica softly said. "I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess it is goodbye." Nycollas agreed.

Erica then surprised Nycollas by leaping forward to kiss him, and then pulled away. "Something else to remember me by," she said, and then fell to the floor disappearing completely.

A shocked Nycollas could just fall back to the chair he had started in.

---

Deep beneath an office building on Rue de Vaugirard is a large, sound-proofed, faraday cage. Inside this room is a desk, with a basic chair on either side and a single trash can. On this day, the Chancellor's motorcade passed down Rue de Vaugirard before the chancellor's car dove into an underground parking garage. The car had barely stopped before the Chancellor burst out and was hustled onto an elevator going down. As soon as the elevator stopped the Chancellor and the small coterie around him burst into the hall, before depositing the Chancellor into the cage.

There was one other man in the room. He barely saluted, then placed a folder on the table. "Chancellor."

The chancellor nodded and sat down, opening the folder. Every page was covered by a blank page, with a tab holding the two pages together. Every single page had been put together independently. No one knew every piece of information in the folder. The Chancellor unsealed the first page: A brief biographic sketch, titled "Comte de Brumes." The Chancellor flipped pages, unsealed another page: a copy of a portrait, dated four centuries earlier, with a man in old-fashioned dress speaking into the ear of a cloaked man.

The standing man looked down at the Chancellor. "The Comte de Brumes was connected to the former Minister of Research and Minister of Foreign Affairs. It seems he was pushing for the construction of the Institute of Particle Research, and for particular research."

The Chancellor looked up from the folder. "For what purpose?"

The standing man's face remained blank. "Unknown, but this isn't the first time he's attempted to get his hooks into the highest levels of Oberour Ar Moro, and previously Azoria."

The Chancellor sighed, then closed the folder and placed it back on the desk. "The Ministry needs to find him. And at the very least, we need to keep this knowledge clamped down."

"Of course, as always."

The Chancellor stood and walked to the door, pushing and holding down a button by the door. "We continue to rely on the Ministry to protect all Oberours."

The door burst open. The Chancellor walked out without a second look as a second man passed by him. The second man was needed to observe as the first slid the folder into the trash can and pulled a matchbook out of his jacket. He pulled out a match, lit it, then lit the matchbook and dropped it into the trashcan. The two men watched until there was nothing left of the folder but ashes.

[Taeshan]

Taeshan 3-0 Sylestone
Real Stadium on the Lake, Chinchinhua, Lake Island, Taeshan
Ninetails 11', Morgenstern 45', Jackson 60'

You should really temper your expectations. Sometimes the ending doesn't quite live up to the journey.


Miles Snavely

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

It was mostly quiet at noon in Helmutov’s abode. Outside of the four extra residents it was a solitary home. Past the garden lay an unpainted cabin woods facade under a green tree. The porch was filled with chairs and tables for when the residence was more lively. The living room was open air. One could walk in the front door and see a story up. The world oddest legal library lie in wait for those who could climb the steep steps. Deputy Helmutov looking over the photographs collected from that strange woman. Nikola was there. If Helutmov was to investigate a secret society, only the minimal amount of ears should supervise him. Three others were with Helmutov. If anyone asked these people were visitors from outside the capital district.

“The ribbon I got from Miloš and the ribbon in this photo look similar.” “Yeah, they’re green.” Nikola said, “No” Helmuotv said, anticipation building up in his speaking pattern, “no, this is the same. It might not be much but it’s a lead.” The photos were taken in a mostly isolated area, they showed the entire breakdown of order at the sports protest. The photo Helmutov spoke of showed a green ribbon around the head of a man dressed in some sort of political organization. “I recognize that, the Three Stars Worker’s Union.” Helmutov wrote down the info on this photo. Other markings on Helmutov’s paper indicated he was looking for commonality among the photos. “It all looks like when I saw the protests in Matov-Uri.” he said to himself. Helmove motioned for his guard “Nikola, do you know much about when the protests took place in Matov-Uri. I guess they taught that in school.” “It was a big event with my family.” Nikola said in reply, “My mother worked for intelligence agencies.” Helmutov laughed, “Well, these photos look like the ones in the evidence for the Green Order trial. It's almost the same kind of event. There just wasn't anybody shooting up an apartment.”

While Helmuotv was speaking a car pulled up in his driveway. It was an old black sedan that had seen better days, but was no worse than the average lower class car. Three men came out dressed in casual wears. One of Helmutov’s four new friends was sitting on the porch. “Three men” she said over her communicator. The men stood around the guard, a blonde haired lady. One of the visitors clicked his tongue, “You wouldn’t be waiting for the bachelor, would you?” he asked. The lady guard lied down on the outdoor chair silently. “Hey,” one of the men said, “he said, ‘are you waiting for the bachelor?’” “Go home woman” another one quipped. While the big boys were busy poking the tiger, the front window had opened. Gun shots rattled out. The trio were hit around the garden, one clutched his chest. Another ran off with a new hole in his jeans. The lady pulled out her pistol and shot at the flower bed before rushing behind a structural colunm.

The lady snuck over to the black car, opening a door. A rattle of metal echoed in the car as the woman fell over. Out came a fourth man. “What’s happening down there Erik?” Nikola yelled. “My gun’s was jammed up, he did all the work!” Erik yelled, the other spoke, “she was hit, I’ll get her.” “Erik needs a gun first, Iwan.” Nikola said, “We have home field advantage! Don’t be hasty!” Nikola and Helmutov moved to a safer location, and the other guards went out. “Two down,” Iwan said, “two others left,” Erik said covering Iwan’s behind. Iwan moved forward slowly, “you see the other one?” he asked, “no,” Erik replied, “he must not be in the garden.” A shot rattled from behind the sedan, but missed. The two guards took cover behind Helmutov’s car. Iwan fired a shot at a small off-color patch in the mysterious automobile. He heard a grunt. “I got him.” Iwan got up, and snuck to the car, Erik staying back, looking into the front yard with his finger on the trigger.

While the fire fight flared outside, Nikola and Helmutov went to the storeroom. The room was out of the way compared to the rest of the house, and had a metal door. “Is every day an adventure for you?” Helmutov asked, “You must be doing something right.” Nikola said in reply. “I’m too old for this.” Helmutov grumped. Outside another shot was heard faintly, and then another. Then there was silence for a good minute, before the front door opened. “Nikola!” Erik said loudly, “we got them.” Nikola was relived, he opened the metal door a tad, “Iwan with you?” Erik got nervous and stuttered out saying “no, he got hit in the leg, but we got them.” Erik stopped speaking suddenly but then said his words slowly, “I’ll need help getting him.” Helmutov poked Nikola’s arm. “Two shots, two targets.” Nikola thought for a moment, “three hits.” Nikola thought again. The storeroom was around a corner, meaning Nikola has some cover. Nikola quickly readied his pistol. “Lock this door.” Nikola said to the deputy. “Alright,” Nikola shouted, “I’m coming.” Nikola opened and closed the door behind him. Helmutov locked the door.

Nikola came out, peering over, he saw Erik quickly, and no on else. It was relieving, but then Nikola noticed something vital. Erik had no gun. Nikola made a hand signal, pointing right. Erik nodded. Nikola tip toed over the floorboards, not wanting to make too much noise. “You coming?” Erik said looking to his right and smiling. Nikola finally got to the end of the hallway, pointed at his gun, and then to the living room. Erik nodded, “Oh there you are. Come here.” Nikola said, “No, let’s get Iwan.” Erik said in reply. “Alright, just go to the kitchen and grab my phone.” A shuffle was heard, and Nikola smirked. Nikola moved his lips silently “he gone?” and Erik nodded. Nikola came into the kitchen. There he saw one of the intruder. He was not the intelligent man in Nikola’s eyes, considering he was searching with his back turned. “Drop it!” Nikola yelled. The assassin dropped his gun, and Nikola pointed his own onto the man’s back. “Weren’t expecting any of us, eh? Who you work for?” The man spit on the kitchen counter. Erik came with hand cuffs, and they were placed on peacefully. “Who sat you here?” Nikola asked before being told to “piss off.” “Did they all look like him?” Nikola asked Erik. “Yeah,” he replied, “Tan skin and short black hair.” Nikola chuckled, “I didn’t know your company took hits on politicians. Akram must be getting a lot of money, isn’t he?” Nikola and Erik drug away the assassin. Nikola knocked on the storeroom door, “We got them,” Nikola said, “I’ll need to call Luka for cleanup on this.” Helmutov opened the door “it’s late, I’m going to bed.” he said.

[Delaclava]

Wrapping up the World Cup qualis: Delaclava draws Huayramarca and other quick hitters

In a match intended to be a homecoming for the returning Delaclava national football team, and a dedication to an old footballing legend, the Phoenixes laid down a shocking performance in a scoreless draw to Huayramarca at the renamed Berrera Stadium in Catherina.

The game was just the second match of qualifiers in which the high-scoring Phoenixes were shut out, and while they did come away with a point in the final game of qualifying, the result was met with disappointment by many of the players.

"We're truly sorry for that performance," captain Keaton Durbridge said. "We were not the team we've grown to be during this campaign. We hoped to show our fan base the best of ourselves to conclude the tournament. We turned in a fine game, but not the one our supporters deserved.

"We're just grateful for their enthusiasm throughout this campaign. This has been an incredible experience for this team, despite all the adversity, and we look forward to the next opportunity to play in front of our home crowd."

The blow was certainly softened by the positive atmosphere, created by a pregame ceremony which honored the late Delaclav footballing legend Alessandro Berrera. Berrera enjoyed great success as the longtime captain of Catherina FC, winning twelve league titles in the first portion of his career, but he was retired due to injuries by the time the Phoenixes made their international debut. He eventually unretired and captained the Phoenixes to all its accolades some decades ago - six straight World Cup qualifications, an Olympic gold medal, and the opportunity to play in front of home fans in World Cup 55.

Berrera passed away eight years ago at the age of 96, but in attendance to accept the honor and officiate the ceremony were his children - Malia, 90, Sheldon, 88, Saul, 87, and twins Marko and Mikel, 86 - all of whom saw national team action in the same era, as well as numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren, including current Delaclav defender Carlos Berrera.

"It's an honor to have Alessandro and his family, my family, honored in this way," an emotional Carlos said before the game. "And I'm blessed that I had the opportunity to attend today not as a spectator, but as a player."

Carlos - like his great-grandfather, also a member of Catherina FC - was originally a member of the Delaclav squad for the AOCAF and Wonder Cup tournaments, but was dropped from the team before qualification began. But with the suspension of thirteen players prior to the Simpralia match, Carlos was called back into service, and with only pride on the line, caretaker Johannes Detmer - also the Catherina FC manager - opted to give him the start in favor of Luke Lemieux. The decision proved effective, with Carlos playing the full 90 minutes as the backline helped George Ross to his first clean sheet of the campaign. Jared Thompson had earned the clean sheet in Delaclava's 3-0 win over Aimena.

With the campaign finished, the Phoenixes can look back on a moderately successful campaign that saw many bright individual performances - like Lukas Meyer's 25 goals and 12 assists, Durbridge's seven goals and 16 assists - the emergence of many bright prospects like Meyer and Artem Kohut, and a sixth-place finish with a respectable 9-7-8 record, including a win and a draw over third-seeded Jeruselem. Given the controversies of recent weeks, questions about personnel and team culture still remain, but the squad undoubtedly has the talent and prospects to answer those questions for the Cup of Harmony and beyond.

Jared Thompson retires from football

Former Verceolan and Delaclav goalkeeper Jared Thompson, 39, announced in a statement that he was retiring from all levels of football, including both domestic and international competition.

"After a long sporting career that has seen me play for two national teams and fourteen seasons as a semi-professional and professional football player, I have decided that it is time to blow the final whistle on this stage of my life.

"It has been a blessing and a privilege to enjoy increased opportunities throughout each stage of my career - starting as an amateur in high school and college, then as a 'beer league' player after I graduated - I was suddenly thrust into a prominent role to represent my country. It was the experience of a lifetime, and I never thought I would make it back there. Somehow, I did - and in the intermediary period between those two stints, I was lucky to have a remarkable and fulfilling career with my hometown Wynnville Warriors and then Sindsyge FC."

Born and raised in Wynnville, Verceola and originally an accountant by day, Thompson was called up to be the starting goalkeeper for the new Verceola national team at the age of 24. He played in one AOCAF, Baptism of Fire, and World Cup qualification campaign, playing all 90 minutes in all 25 Bulls games and earning seven clean sheets.

He returned home to become a staple of the Wynnville Warriors lineup in the new Verceolan Football League, helping the perennially under-talented squad to three surprise league titles in eleven seasons. Thompson will likely forever hold the all-time record of the now-defunct VFL for clean sheets.

When the Delaclav and Verceolan governments signed a treaty which made Verceola a satellite nation of Delaclava, Thompson - like all Verceolans - became a dual citizen of Delaclava and joined the Delaclava Premier League as a member of Sindsyge FC, the best Verceola-based club in the DPL, for three seasons. He was then called up to the Delaclav national team, first in an advisory role for the Wonder Cup, but then as a member of the full-time national team. He earned ten caps and one clean sheet in friendlies and World Cup qualifying, earning the rare distinction of playing for two national teams.

Thompson is currently suspended from both the Delaclav national team and the Delaclava Football League system for his role in a team sex scandal that saw thirteen players and manager Tim Landers dismissed from the team. In addition to the offenses of general misconduct committed by the other players, the additional allegations of hostile work environment and blackmail against Thompson were deemed so severe that the DFA took the additional step of suspending him from domestic competition. While the DFA investigation is still underway, Thompson likely saw an uphill battle to have the suspension lifted - or, given his age, to play abroad. Thompson addressed these events in the statement:

"I am aware that this retirement announcement comes at a time where I am currently under investigation for misconduct and violation of team rules. My retirement had always been a possibility throughout the campaign, but I regret that my career now comes to such an ignominious end.

"I owe my deepest apologies to my teammates, family, and supporters for my actions - for indulging too much in the perks and benefits of my national team status, and heeding too little the duties and responsibilities that come with wearing the red and gold, just as they did when I donned the green and black fifteen years ago. I am also aware, and fully accept, that my actions were more severe than those of my teammates who participated in the same activities. I was incredibly selfish and valued a party and a good time over the feelings of the people around me, especially one of my closest friends."

"To that man, my apologies will never be enough, and I can only hope that as the national team moves forward, he - and all of my teammates - will be able to trust the players and staff around them and rejuvenate their careers."

Thompson is referring to Ryan Keating, with whom it is believed Thompson was in a relationship, within the polyamorous context of the team's sexual activities. Keating left the team after the home win over Jeruselem, before Landers suspended Thompson and eleven other players. Keating was not contacted for comment.

The DFA issued a response statement, which read in part: "While Thompson's retirement effectively removes the necessity for his suspension as a player, his actions are still a part of our overall investigation, and our findings will determine the capacity in which Thompson may serve Delaclav football in the future... We recognise that Thompson has had a stellar career in both Verceola and unified Delaclava, and we will celebrate his accomplishments if and when it is deemed appropriate."

Captain Keaton Durbridge was the only player who was willing to comment on Thompson's retirement: "It's hard for me to say a whole lot. It's still very upsetting, trying to come to terms with the whole situation - everyone involved, not just Jared... He was at first a remarkable advisor for our team, then for a time a supportive teammate and still a very effective goalkeeper even with all of his experience.

"I'm frustrated by what he did, but I understand it - footballers living it up, loving the fame and fortune is nothing new. I just hope there's some closure on what happened sometime down the road... I really do wish him the best going forward.

Thompson concluded his statement with the sentence: "While the Delaclav footballing community may be unwilling to welcome me back for the foreseeable future, I am immensely grateful for the chances I have been afforded, sorry for not using those opportunities properly, and I will always support the Phoenixes as they continue 'Forward and Upward'."

Twelve player suspensions lifted; Landers suspension also lifted, but dismissal confirmed

The Delaclava Football Association officially ended the suspensions of the twelve active players - Josh Torres, Pavel Cicak, Brent Ritchie, Zane Davis, Ryan Keating, Donato Girardi, Rhydian Campbell, Gunnar Sash, Jesse Bates, Quentin Bard, Ryan Walters, and Declan Mullins - who were caught up in the Phoenixes' team sex scandal, and confirmed that all twelve players are eligible for selection starting with the Cup of Harmony in Kelssek and Zwangzug.

DFA board member Cormac McDaniels explained at a press conference at the DFA headquarters, "Through the course of our investigation, we have determined that the relevant players are likely guilty only of simple misconduct and violation of team rules, and have not breached any higher program guidelines, or federal or local laws. With that being the most probably outcome of our findings, we have ruled that the effective suspension of five games is sufficient punishment for the alleged actions, and that they are eligible for national team selection immediately."

Since the twelve players - a group excluding only the recently retired Jared Thompson - were not suspended by the Delaclava Premier League, or by their respective clubs, it is not a surprise that the suspension was relatively brief, although it may rankle more conservative critics who lambasted the disgraced players for their lack of professionalism.

Meanwhile, McDaniels confirmed that while former manager Tim Landers is no longer suspended from the team, he is now dismissed from his duties. "Mr. Landers is welcome at all DFA functions and events, and may someday be invited to serve the national team in some capacity, if it is deemed appropriate. But his ignorance of the team's activities was an egregious oversight, and we will not be continuing our contract with him at this time.

"Mr. Detmer has now been promoted from caretaker to permanent manager, and we fully empower him with all personnel decisions moving forward."

McDaniels' statements seemed to imply that while the group of reactivated players are eligible for selection, Johannes Detmer is well within his right to leave them off of his squad, especially with his status on the squad confirmed.

Detmer responded to a request for comment, stating: "The current squad is a satisfactory one for me. In the face of controversy and scandal, they have risen above the noise, bonded together, and played very good football. They have each other's backs, and I am not going to call up anyone who may disrupt the positive morale of the team.

"I will be constantly gauging the attitudes of the current players, and checking in with the senior players and captains, to determine when it is appropriate to call up anyone from the suspended group."

If the players' opinions are a determining factor, it may be some time before the likes of Cicak, Campbell, and Girardi rejoin the Phoenixes. Keaton Durbridge admitted in a text, "I'd be happy to have them back next season. But right now, we have a squad that's still adjusting to each other, have come a long way in the last four games. The scandal they put us through was a massive disruption, and the last thing we need is another disruption.

"That said, if they're called to suit up, we're going to work together and win some football games."

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Statement by David F Hunter
Executive Editor of The Daily Mail

It's been quite a few years since I wrote a piece for publication under my name for The Daily Mail, but this is an occasion I feel strongly about, and believe that my duty to the readers of this paper is clear.

Many of you have certainly taken notice that a good deal of the recent coverage of the World Cup Qualifying by the Baker Park National Team has been handled by Scott McCrae, an eight year veteran writer here who has excelled at covering the sport, reporting on the NSL and college soccer. Scott has filed excellent stories about the march of the National Team towards their sixth consecutive place in the World Cup Finals.

The Daily Mail has been fortunate to have one the finest reporters of the beautiful game providing coverage for our readers for over 26 years, Frank Armitage. He is widely respected by his fellow journalists here in the Commonwealth, as well in many of the nations he has traveled to during his tenure. He owns 27 awards from the Commonwealth Press Association for his writing, as well as being named Writer of the Year by COSCREW (Commonwealth Organization of Sport Columnists, Reporters, Editors & Writers) a record six times in his career.

Frank will retire from the position of Chief Soccer Writer--and will be the only person to have the title at this paper, as we'll retire it along with him--at the end of the World Cup Finals; he will provide commentary during those weeks while Scott handles the reporting on the matches; he and his wife Laura will be provided with all expenses paid by the paper for the duration of the tournament.

I took the opportunity to solicit the testimonials of three individuals, two of whom were the subject of award winning pieces he wrote for us, and the other a respected journalist from another publication that Frank has gotten to know. Here are their thoughts:

Trevor Richmond, former National Team Manager
"I wish there was an exciting fact, or a shocking anecdote I could tell you about Frank Armitage, but alas, in my time having been on a first name basis with him, there's never really been something that stood out in my mind as either shocking or controversial.
If you read his CPA award winning feature series on the first time he and his wife came to spend a few days with my family at our cabin in the Lake District, you'd know he is about as laid back and receptive as any person could be; I've come to the realization that the secret to being a great journalist—as Frank is--is a capacity for listening to other people talk, and having a naturally inquisitive mind. I have a good idea of how much of our personal conversations he recorded and never used, but you have no idea how much of the everyday interaction and participation in the silly fun & games with my children he didn't mention; he glossed over all of the parts of that weekend that they still remember vividly.

He has written millions of words about the sport of soccer in his career, and I can't think of one he wrote about me that I took offense to. He is and will continue to be the gold standard of soccer reporting in this country, and I wish him and Laura all the very best in retirement."

Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor of The Sporting Times
"What can I say about Frank that won't make it sound like I'm a second year J-School student looking for an internship or a stringer job? Probably nothing.

The first time I got a chance to actually spend time away from the press box with Frank was at the DiBradini Cup in Valanora, the very first tournament the Commonwealth entered; he introduced himself to me when we were boarding for the flight from Belle Haven, and later invited me to spend what I thought would be just a few minutes but ended up being almost an hour in First Class, talking about who we knew mutually, my background and education, and our expectations of this trip.

There were just the three of us from the daily papers—Frank, myself and Olly Stanley, who was an old friend of Frank's—covering the under 21's and the gentlemen went out of their way to include a rival from another publication, who was just really getting her first big assignment.

Since everyone rode the train to and from the matches, we were lucky to have a lot of access to the players, staff, families, supporters. But Frank & Olly were like favorite uncles to me that entire trip; they looked out for me and my pal Erin McNamara from the FAC media staff, and Frank told me several months afterwards that he had voted for my 'notebook/travelogue' feature in the CPA awards contest, which I thought was high praise! Then later reading how he mentioned me by name in the Trevor Richmond series (which was a big help in my next contract negotiations, so thank you Frank!).

I wish you all the best, I will be forever in your debt for the friendship you offered me and the help you generously gave."


Annabeth Westmoreland, National Team midfielder
"I was naturally wary around media, as you can imagine; I'd always felt that no one who I'd ever agreed to speak to was looking to give me the benefit of the doubt about any aspect of my life or career.
Sasha (Henderson, FAC Director of Media Relations) almost never approached me about interviews; she usually rejected the requests on the spot. We were on the plane in Apox (at the conclusion of round of 16 match against Cosumar, a 4-3 defeat on penalty kicks) right before takeoff, she taps me on the shoulder and leans in to whisper. 'Frank Armitage from The Daily Mail is requesting to speak with you. If anyone will give you a fair shake, he will.'

I only needed a few seconds to decide, as no one in the squad had ever said Frank will shiv you in a story (represent a quote or something on background out of context). Of course, I read his stuff anyway—never believe when players say they don't read the papers—and he's been reporting forever.

I unbuckled and she led me through the curtain between the First Class compartment where the players and staff sat, to the center section, where the media, families and other officials were. I remember he reached up to shake hands and offered the center or window seat to me, which I declined. As I we taxied to the runway and took off, for the first time, I wasn't having the same thoughts of fear and anxiousness I usually do in the first minute or so of a flight.
Once we leveled and the seatbelt sign turned off, Frank made casual small talk just to kick off the interview.
If you've read the story, you know that we spent nearly an hour in conversation, but honestly, it didn't seem like more than 20 or 25 minutes. He called Sasha after he'd written up our conversation and offered to send the copy for me to read before it went to press; I told her it wasn't necessary, because I was sure he was true to his word.

Frank, from my heart I wish you nothing but the best as you move on to the next phase in your life; you are a prince among men and I'm grateful to have had the chance to know you."

I think Ms Westmoreland has expressed how all of us who work at The Daily Mail feel. Thanks Frank, not only for being a pillar of our profession, but also for your personal friendship to myself and my wife.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas and Jeruselem manager Boris Lancaster after Jeruselem beat Sarzonia 3-2 at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Kate: FFS, if we had won one more fucking game then we would have qualified
Boris: Err, true.
Kate: We actually had the ability to qualify
Boris: How many times we come this close
Kate: All the time
Boris: Well we did qualify in World Cup 82

Kate: Well, this is World Cup 85.
Boris: I guess I don't get my bonus
Kate: No you don't
Boris: Hey we were close
Kate: We're always close to qualifying but this happens too often
Boris: At least we nearly made it

Kate: Oh well, this is my last game. I have stuff to do, like a new TV show.
Boris: Hey, who's going to cover the Cup of Harmony if we go?
Kate: Daisy, I've been training her for this.
Boris: Good good, she's cute.
Kate: Perv
Boris: Hey, why does everyone say that.

Kate: No idea ...
Boris: I guess we have to move on
Kate: I am, you probably have more to do
Boris: Oh yes, Cup of Harmony.
Kate: So get your butt and actually work.
Boris: I'm allergic to actually work

Kate: Like I didn't notice that.

[Sarzonia]

Woodstock Daily Mail sports editor Declan Quinlan convened the budget meeting with his senior football reporters in his office. Normally, these meetings were rather boring. They took place so many times over what seemed to be an eternity that no one usually batted an eye.

However, today was different. The buzz from Sarzonia qualifying for the World Cup for the first time in 30 cycles was only part of the reason. Delaclava competing in the Cup of Harmony was a part of it. The Daily Mail would definitely send a team to cover the Phoenixes.

Today's overriding concern had nothing to do with sport. For good reason: The Stars, choosing to play their substitutes as starters, lost what became a meaningless finale at Dazza Dallas Stadium to Jeruselem 3-2. But even that wasn't so much as a ripple. No, the fact this meeting was taking place in person in Quinlan's office after months of Zoom conferences and Skype messages was the bigger deal.

It's great to be back, Quinlan thought. Even the now-overpriced Squornshelan coffee tasted a bit different. Granted, it wasn't the same as brewing your own coffee at home or going to the local coffee shop and getting Delaclav or Pacitalian coffee, but it meant a symbolic end to weeks of isolation.

"Ok, whaddya got?" Quinlan asked after gulping down a swig of his coffee.

"I've got Clayre Taylor on the Stars for gamers. Sami Hurt is going to do columns. Francis Ebert will do the art," came the response from Max Royce, the longtime deputy sports editor for football.

Quinlan nodded. "What about the Cup of Harmony?"

"We're running on the assumption that Delaclava will be competing there. We don't have a lot of money in the budget for full coverage so I was thinking we could rely on wire."

Quinlan normally deferred to Royce's judgment all the time, but he didn't even attempt to hide his disappointment at this proposal.

"Are you fucking kidding? The readers will shit a Cat-damn brick if we just run wire. For Delaclava? You know how many of our subscribers live in Little Catherina? And how much revenue we get from south of the border? Let me worry about the money. Who can you send to the Cup of Harmony?"

"Aidan Cross for gamers. Cat Hinton for opinion. I think the Catherina bureau will supply the art if we need it."

Quinlan raised his eyebrow at the mention of Hinton. The conservative fringe in Sarzonia boycotted the paper when it hired them away from a weekly newspaper in suburban Saugerties because they were gender nonconforming. The Woodstock City Police had to escort them to their first five assignments.

"Folks in Delaclava are very accepting of gender variance," Royce said. "We wouldn't send them if we didn't feel it was safe and they weren't the best person for the job."

"I guess you're right," Quinlan said. "I'll call my buddy in Catherina and see if they can send us art. Our photogs at the Catherina bureau don't have a lot of high stakes sport experience."

[Sharktail]

Group 5 Matchday 26

Vakolicci Haven nd Celeria-1
Unknown (m '67)

---

Sharktail-2
Badhri (m '38)
Gaby (m '43)

Line up
Ahmad
Harold
Azmi
Hidawi
Ashaari (sub m 60)
Chandra
Nik akif (sub m 55)
Badhri
Azaim
Gaby
Shakir (sub m 60)

Sub
Irfan (m 60)
Afif (m 55)
Sulimani (m 60)

SHARKTAIL POST EP15
WORLD CUP Q 85 END

Sharktail close world cup qualifier 85 with the win against Vakolicci. With the end of all 26 matchday with total 24 match for all team, their focus will now be on either world Cup Final or Cup of Harmony. With some team already oreoared for the Cup of Harmony after getting eliminated from qualifier,they battle in CoH will surely be tough.With some big name failed to qualified for the world Cup Final,they will try to cover that up in Cup of Harmony.Quebec,Delaclava,Northwest Kalactin,Xanneria,they are all big named in Football world.

Sharktail,on hiatus for almost three edition,making a suprise return,being drawed into group 5 with Baker Park and Zwangzug.Not doing well in the early,before making some good progress until lastly placed 3rd place with 5 point difference from 4th place Twicetagria.Sahami,take the position as the NT manager without any development,just some old data from World Cup 81,try using his knowledge and strategi.Hard to admit,he did it.13 win,6 draw and 5 lose is really a good result for Sharktail.Sahami can smile now after all his hard work have been paid.Now his challenge will changed to Cup of Harmony.Will he bring this team to once again shock the community or will they packing up early,all answer in Cup of Harmony.Rather Sharktail NT done well or not in Cup of Harmony,they have already show what they capable off in WCQ.If they even fail in Cup of Harmony,they cn rebuild this team back.In the future,they will have to be more development if Sharktail serious in making their way to world Cup Final.All the best Sharktail.

We are blue,we always hunting
We are THE BLUE PREDATOR

GK
Ahmad-17 apps(4 cs)
Maxter-5 apps
Alafi-2 apps(1 cs)

DF
Harold-17 apps
Batuil-6 apps(2) 1 goal
Hidawi-15 apps(1)
Azmi-22 apps(1) 1 goal
Yusri-8 apps(4) 2 goal
Salaman-3 apps(7)
Ashaari-16 apps
Irfan Danial-8 apps(2)

MID
Chandra-16 apps(2)
Nik akif-15 apps(1) 3 goal
Badhri-18 apps 2 goal
Azmer Ishak-9 apps(1) 2 goal
Afif-7 apps(8) 2 goal
Fikri-11 apps(3) 4 goal
Azaim-12 apps(1) 6 goal
Hadi Syah-4 apps(5) 1 goal

FW
Gaby-24 apps 21 goal
Virman-7 apps(6) 4 goal
Shakir-12 apps(1) 5 goal
sulimani-5 apps(9) 2 goal

SHARKTAIL NT MANAGERMENT TEAM
MANAGER:Sahami (43 years old)
ASSISTANT MANAGER :Carrol (37 years old)
TACTIC:4-4-2
STYLE:+2

SHARKTAIL NT ROSTER

GK
1-MAXTER | CLUB:SERI MERANTI
AGE:23 | NT CAPS:13 (U21:4 CAPS)
22-AHMAD | CLUB:KOTA LAMA FC
AGE:27 | NT CAPS:29 
25-ALAFI SAIBAN I CLUB:TIGER FC
AGE:25 I NT CAP:3

DEFENDER
2-HAROLD | CLUB:KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:27
3-ASHAARI | CLUB:SERI MERANTI
AGE:25 | NT CAPS:25
4-HIDAWI | CLUB:KOTA LAMA FC
AGE:20 | NT CAPS:25 (1 GOAL)(U21:1 CAPS)
5-YUSRI | CLUB:KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:19 (3 GOAL)
12-BATUIL | SERI MERANTI 
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:13 (2 GOAL) (U18:2 CAPS)
13-AZMI | CLUB:KOTA LAMA FC 
AGE:34 | NT CAPS:37 CAPS (1 GOAL)I VICE CAPTAIN
14-SALAMAN RAZALI | TIGER FC
AGE:23 | NT CAPS:13
18-IRFAN DANIAL | FC DRAGON
AGE:23 | NT CAPS:14 (U21:3 CAPS,U18:7 CAPS)

MID
6-CHANDRA | KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:25 | NT CAPS:28 (1 GOAL)
8-NIK AKIF | KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:25 | NT CAPS:38 CAPS (5 GOAL)
16-BADHRI | KOTA LAMA FC
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:32 CAPS (3 GOAL) (U18:10 CAPS)
15-AZMER ISHAK | TIGER FC
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:20 CAPS (3 GOAL)
17-AFIF | FC SHARK 
AGE:24 | NT CAPS:19 CAPS (3 GOAL)
19-FIKRI | KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:29 | NT CAPS:19 (4 GOAL)
20-AZAIM | KOTA LAMA FC
AGE:20 | NT CAPS:17 (6 GOAL)(U21:1 CAPS)
21-HADI SYAH | TIGER FC
AGE:28 | NT CAP:14 CAPS (2 GOAL)

FORWARD
7-GABY | KOTA LAMA
AGE:28 | NT CAP:58 CAPS (42 GOALS) | CAPTAIN
11-VIRMAN | KOTA JEMBAL
AGE:28 | NT CAPS:22 CAPS (7 GOAL)
10-SULIMANI FIKRI | TIGER FC
AGE:28 | NT CAPS:19 CAPS (6 GOAL)
23-SHAKIR I CLUB:KOTA LAMA RANGERS
AGE:24 I NT CAPS:16 (8 GOAL)

[Starblaydia]

At Least we Qualified
Making it to World Cup 85, an Odyssey in six parts

World Cup 85's Qualifiers are now consigned to the history books as Starblaydia finish outside the top spot in their Group for the first time since World Cup 82. Being an article about Starblaydia, of course the first thing we mention is history. Whether relying on it or attempting to make it, one thing - perhaps the only thing - that stands out about Starblaydiais that it's an old nation and long-time competitor. Media pieces from the likes of Audiolslavia, the Squornshelan Remnant States, Valanora and Kelssek all recall the long and forgotten Before Time, while even a Northwest Kalactin historian's 'World Cup Dynasties' only touched upon the team in white and purple as being a foil for Bedistani dominance in the 20s. Yes, we are and will always remain Starblaydia, but what have we done lately? Well, there's qualifying for the World Cup whilst barely getting out of third gear and still scoring a boatload of goals, but honestly that's about it.

The actual journey to qualification, however, was one of highs and lows, with the side ultimately being helped out along the way by a group where eight teams breached the thirty point mark, the joint-most of any group in the Qualifiers. For what became a fairly consistent ride to second place in Group 12, Starblaydia managed to have both highs and lows along the way

The Inconsistent Start, Matchdays 1-4

The opening Marchday's 4-0 victory over Jerauuk marks the only time that Starblaydia finished the day at the top of the table. Hope Roshanak's opening goal in front of a packed Stadii Di Bradini seemed like it would set the tone for the campaign, followed swiftly as it was by three further goals from Apelles, Saraviva and Eccleston to kick off exactly the way any team would like. The feel-good atmosphere at the national stadium didn't, however, translate to foreign parts in this opening batch of games. Both a 2-2 draw away at Bongo Johnson, and a solitary Sutter McCloud goal in a 2-1 loss in Isleshore, Geektopia, were set either side of a fairly routine 3-1 win at home to Talamia. Sutter McCloud's record-breaking scoring streak continued, as he managed four in four games to extend his international tally to 63 and confirm himself as the third-highest goalscorer in Starblaydi history, behind only Ázëwyn Fëanáro's 71 and the inimitable Valrauncion's 116.

Being at the head of a group of teams tied on 7 points at this early stage wasn't too bad, but being 5 points behind the 100% record of 95X was slightly more concerning. Even after four games the old adage applied, of a bird in the hand being worth more than two in the bush.

Group 12, MDs 1-4                          P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 95X                                     4    4   0   0    11    5   +6    12
 2 Starblaydia                             4    2   1   1    10    5   +5     7
 3 Cosumar                                 3    2   1   0     8    4   +4     7
 4 Garifunya                               4    2   1   1     9    7   +2     7

The Power Recovery, Matchdays 5-8

Four wins in a row, including some high-scoring victories, was enough to see Starblaydia solidify their place in the table, but be unable to catch up with 95X's impressive start. Two nine-goal thrillers added to the history books in this section, with Baggieland 3-6 Starblaydia provoking quite a führer-ious response from the home fans. First off, Starblaydia punished the stateless players of Cosumar yet further by inflicting a 2-0 defeat on them. A Carmine Velasquez hat-trick was just half of his side's goals in the Baggieland match, before Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom saw the 100% home record of the Stadii Di Bradini maintained with three goals put past Bosko Nowak. Finally the second nine-goal match game around, but there was just a single goal in it as the ediraf-outfitted Osarius were overcome 5-4 in the most aesthetic game of the first half of Qualifying.

As good as Starblaydia's attack was, it appeared they're going back to the old meme of sports car at the front, banger at the back. Long gone are the day of impregnable Starblaydi defences, built on clean sheets and power possession. It's football played at 100 miles an hour with every intention to attack, but when you come a cropper at that speed, it's a recipe for complete wipeout.

Group 12, MDs 6-8                          P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts  
 1 Starblaydia                             4    4   0   0    16    7   +9    12
 2 95X                                     4    3   1   0     9    3   +6    10
 3 Aldaveria                               4    2   2   0     9    5   +4     8
 4 Garifunya                               4    2   1   1     6    4   +2     7

The Inconsistency Returns, Matchday 10-13

Ten goals in a Starblaydia match is relatively unheard of, but after two nine goal extravaganzas it almost came as no surprise when Garifunya visited the Stadii di Bradini. De Dolfijnen didn't mind losing by two goals to the fifth-ranked team in the world, but what coach Stefan Schuurmans wasn't expecting was to concede six. A Sutter McCloud hat trick and a brace from Marcus Jimenez did the real damage, along with one from Calindra Apelles. Up next, however, was an away loss in Atlantian Oceania to group leaders 95X, who held on for an upset 1-0 win, despite Head Coach Katelynn State being arrested immediately after the game.

Matchday 12 marks the only time Starblaydia fall out of the top two, as Cosumar beat Talamia 1-0 to leapfrog Fëanáro's side, who drew 1-1 with Hayvynwilde thanks to a Lucy Saraviva goal. They were back into the top two immediately after, however, with a solid 4-2 win away to Aldaveria, and stayed in that spot for the remainder of the matches.

Group 12, MDs 10-13                        P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts  
 4 Osarius                                 4    2   2   0     7    3   +4     8
 5 95X                                     3    2   1   0     7    1   +6     7
 6 Starblaydia                             4    2   1   1    11    8   +3     7
 7 Bongo Johnson                           4    2   0   2     4    4    0     6

The Relegation Form, Matchday 14-17

It has been a long time since Starblaydia were quite this poor over a period in World Cup Qualifiers. In World Cup 82 they went winless for four games while trying to make it to Valanora & Apox, but manged three draws in that time. Before then, the last time this happened was during World Cup 72's qualifiers, when while trying to make it to Valanora and Apox they failed to win a match until Matchday 7. So, to pick up 2 points in four games marks the lowest point of Qualifying football in forty years. 3-4 to Jerauuk, getting their revenge for the 4-0 drubbing on Matchday One. 1-1 against Bongo Jonson to repeat the draw earlier. 0-2 against Talamia overturned the 3-1 in the Stadii Di Bradini, and then Geektopia claimed another point in a 4-4 draw to claim the best record of any Group 12 team against the former champions.

It's not a place any Starblaydi fan wanted to see their team, and hearts were beginning to sink that this type of form might be expected for the remainder of the second half of Qualifying because, with eight games left, time was running out for Fëanáro to ensure her team made it to the World Cup.

Group 12, MDs 14-17                        P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts  
10 Garifunya                               4    1   1   2     9   13   −4     4
11 Aldaveria                               3    0   2   1     5    6   −1     2
12 Starblaydia                             4    0   2   2     8   11   −3     2
13 Cosumar                                 3    0   1   2     4    6   −2     1

The Timely Recovery, Matchdays 18-21

Despite scoring four goals against Geektopia, Starblaydia couldn't leave their national stadium with a victory, which made it three home draws in a row and only a single victory on the road in four away games. As the Qualifiers picked up the pace and headed into the home stretch, what the fans really needed was wins, and right now. Smashing Cosumar aside 5-2 was the perfect remedy, particularly with the impressive pair of goals from Hope Roshanak. A second victory over Baggieland followed, and though Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom earned themselves a creditable 3-3 draw, it was back to winning ways with a 3-1 victory over Osarius.

Second place seemed assured at this point, barring a relapse into the previous four game's form. But, surely, 1st place was out of reach?

Group 12, MDs 18-21                        P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts  
 1 Starblaydia                             4    3   1   0    14    7   +7    10
 2 Geektopia                               4    2   2   0     7    5   +2     8
 3 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom               3    2   1   0     9    6   +3     7
 4 95X                                     4    2   1   1     6    4   +2     7

The Storming Finish, Matchdays 23-26

95X had already sealed Qualification on Matchday 22, Starblaydia's Bye game, and the side sat 12 points behind with a game in hand. 95X, already seemingly winding down after an unexpectedly successful campaign, would go on to only win 2 more points, leaving them in first place by the skin of their teeth. The final table doesn't do justice to their early dominance, nor how close Starblaydia were coming to not qualifying for either the World Cup or the Cup of Harmony at all. Even so the four wins came via 4-3, 5-3, 6-2 and 4-0 wins, bringing only the fourth Starblaydi clean sheet of the campaign.

It's this lack of defensive solidity that really has Starblaydi fans worried. Two of their main defensive unit (Franklin Otriz and Arn Renatovic) had less than 10 appearances for their country before these qualifiers, while the defensive replacements (Lucas Wolffe, Nadia Veltri, Noah Kranendonk and Joel Alberto Filho) had less than ten between them. We've gone from some of the most experienced and beloved defenders in the history of the Starblaydi game, the 121 caps of Viola Capodanno and the skills of Maria Reyes and Theodore Sigismund to some that anyone has barely heard of.

Group 12, MDs 22-26                        P    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts  
 1 Starblaydia                             4    4   0   0    19    8  +11    12
 2 Talamia                                 3    2   1   0     6    3   +3     7
 3 Cosumar                                 4    2   0   2     5    5    0     6
 4 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom               4    1   2   1     4    4    0     5

In short, Starblaydia are still one of the best teams in the world. They really need, however, to start showing it if they're going to have any chance of a deep run in the 85th World Cup, in Farfadillis and Mriin.

[Sylestone]

Sylestone lost yet another game in the WC qualifiers, this time 3-0 to Taeshan. Although the result was expected and could have easily been worse, especially when they were 2-0 down at half time and completely down and out. AS the Brick Wall said "I might have had a bad game, but at least it wasn't 6-0. That would have been quite bad. We also officially have the CoH to look forward to, so you can just never know what could happen. It will be interesting to find out."

The game started off with a relatively early goal by Ninetails in the 11th minute. He somehow found a way to slip the ball past the Drawer and Ironing Board in the left defence and past the Brick Wall. In the 27th minute, the Tumble Dryer led a good offence that was only stopped by a brilliant save onto the crossbar by the Taeshanese goalkeeper. Offensives by Jackson in the 39th and 43rd minutes put everyone onto the edge of their seats to see whether Taeshan could make it 2-0 by half time. Those supporting Taeshan were rewarded when the Brick Wall let in a rather easy goal. It precisely explained Sylestone's problems and why they were coming last on the table.

The mood in the dressing room was down during the break. This mood continued when the Mixer completely missed a penalty and the result was another goal to Taeshan. The Fridge then got together with the team while Taeshan were celebrating and said to them:
"We are doing nowhere near good enough here. They are a good side, but so are we. We haven't shown that yet. So let's get out there and show them what we are made of. I want every single one of you to work your fucking butts off in this last half hour. Let's go!"

The final thirty minutes produced four good runs by the Sylestonean offence, but none went into the goal. It rounded out disappointing WC qualifiers for the Sylestoneans, finishing last in Group Four, but they still have the CoH to prove their worth and future World Cups. Can they make it to that elite World Cup stage? We shall wait and see!

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Baggieland 2 – 2 Talamia FT (1 – 1 HT)

Baggieland finished off their qualification campaign with a two all draw against Talamia, ending their quest in a respectable eighth place.

Talamia opened the scoring early in the first half, however, Bassett was on hand with six minutes to go before the break to level things up. His sumptuous strike evading all in the Talamian defence. In the second half, Talamia again scored first to regain their lead, but they failed to threaten again for the rest of the game. This allowed Baggieland to pile on the pressure, and they were eventually rewarded for their efforts in the 68th minute. This time it was Livermore who let loose with a long distance strike, that once again, the Talamians had no answer to. With ten minutes to go, Richardson had a good effort that was just about cleared off the line, but the game was to end in a draw.

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Laurie Bassett: (39’).
Len Livermore: (68’).

Possession: 51%.
Corners: 8.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 12.
Ronnie Regis: 7.
Bomber Robson: 6.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Ray Brunt: 3.
Jonas McAuley: 2.
Laurie Bassett: 2.
Len Livermore: 2.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 18.
Ronnie Regis: 9.
Bomber Robson: 7.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Ray Brunt: 5.
Jonas McAuley: 4.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Laurie Bassett: 2.
Len Livermore: 2.
Chris Barlow: 1.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

[Vdara]

Bowing Out In Style

The final whistle blew to finish the match against Monglechabagd, and what a match it was. The fans were chanting and cheering and all-round loving the Vdaran performance as the dynamic duo of Lazelis and Fotellis thrashed Monglechabagd 5-1 at the VdarArena. This performance also meant that Vdara had went ten games unbeaten since their 1-0 loss to Xanneria.

In the dressing room, Væñøœrëñbérghüïś had some parting words to give to his players.

”You know, I didn’t think we’d be where we are right now. 5th in the group stage? Going ten games unbeaten? Like... wow, this is only our second World Cup, and we’re 5th out of 13? Mad. Just mad. Anyhow, I’m sure you’re all a bit miffed to be bowing out of the World Cup. Fear not, however, for I have a letter to show you all. Let me just grab it.”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś rummaged around in his pockets for a bit, before pulling out a piece of paper addressed to “The Vdaran National Team”. He began to read it out.

”Dear Vdara,

Unfortunately, your nation has failed to qualify for the 85th World Cup. However, given your active participation in the qualifiers, we would like to invite you to Cup of Harmony 77, to be hosted in Zwangzug and Kelssek! To accept, please... you get the gist. You know what this means, boys? We’re on our way to the bloody Cup of Harmony! To all the other teams who didn’t make it... get it up you all! Get ready lads, we’ve got another few weeks of international football!”

(OOC: Væñøœrëñbérghüïś is being a bit crass here, but that’s just his character. I, personally, am not insulting other teams who were not invited to the Cap of Harmony.)

The Unbeaten Run In Full:

MATCHDAY 16 (June 6)
Nooooooooooooooo vs Vdara - Win - 2-3
MATCHDAY 17 (June 7)
Vdara vs HUElavia - Win - 3-2
MATCHDAY 18 (June 8)
Equestria vs Vdara - Draw - 1-1
MATCHDAY 19 (June 9)
Vdara vs Blouman Empire - Win - 2-1
MATCHDAY 20 (June 10)
Fujai vs Vdara - Win - 2-4
MATCHDAY 21 (June 11)
Vdara vs Jamestownnnn - Win - 2-0
MATCHDAY 22 (June 12)
Ancherion vs Vdara - Draw - 1-1
MATCHDAY 23 (June 13)
Vdara vs South Concepthuania - Win - 2-1
MATCHDAY 24 (June 14)
Vdara bye
MATCHDAY 25 (June 15)
Kandorith vs Vdara - Draw - 1-1
MATCHDAY 26 (June 16)
Monglechabagd vs Vdara - Win - 5-1

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

The Marathon Qualifying for World Cup 85 is over. Turori and Audioslavia are already through and many others are as well. But before TJUN-ia could look back on this campaign, we had to play one final game in Muradil. We couldn't overtake Muradil but we can certainly get close.

Kepo Ulawaya opened the scoring in the 21st, but Muradil would strike back in the 43rd to level the game entering half time. The 2nd half would be way better as substitutes Preston Chapman (65th) and Prince Carter (82nd) rounded out the TJUN-ian goals for this tournament.

Now then, what do I say about this campaign? We started poorly but improved over time. We lost only 2 games in the 2nd half, but we drew 6 of them. The "Draw Masters" are certainly living up to that name. 11 draws overall is the most in the tournament, tied with West Pocono (7th, Group 4) and Valladares (7th, Group 5). We just didn't have the drive to win more games, and that cost us position in the table. David Seems needs to move the team away from the Art of the Draw, and towards the Art of the Win. Maybe Li Xiu Ying can help with that over time, who knows?

The FA-TJUN-ia has accepted an invite from Football Kelssek to participate in the 77th Cup of Harmony, which is being held in Kelssek and Zwangzug. TJUN-ia would like to forget what happened at the last CoH - where the Jags went from first to last in the span of a few Matchdays. The message from the team and the fanbase is clear: we want to do better than before, no matter who we face...

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SCHEDULE (Updates on stadiums will occur as soon as we get them)
MD1: @Audioslavia (22) - Arena Kirola, Cathair L 1-2 (T-9th)
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (84) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (T-9th)
MD3: @Porticalia (330) L 0-1 (T-10th)
MD4: vs Sajnur (57) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (12th)
MD5: @Jeckland (UR) - Jecken Stadium, Rack City W 2-0 (10th)
MD6: vs Natanians and Nosts (131) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-4 (11th)
MD7: @Villablanca (235) W 6-1 (9th)
MD8: BYE (10th)
MD9: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 4-4 (10th)
MD10: @Necosia (341) D 4-4 (9th)
MD11: vs Turori (12) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-5 (10th)
MD12: @Astograth (303) - Castle Hill, Gesterlake D 0-0 (10th)
MD13: vs Muradil (212) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (10th/2W-5D-5L/-4GD/11pts)
-----------------------Off Day---------------------------
MD14: vs Audioslavia (22) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-1 (11th)
MD15: @Euran Oceania Territories (84) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive W 4-1 (10th)
MD16: vs Porticalia (330) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-2 (8th)
MD17: @Sajnur (57) - Niurka Stadium, Ciarkhan D 1-1 (8th)
MD18: vs Jeckland (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong D 3-3 (8th)
MD19: @Natanians and Nosts (131) - Stadion Nacional (?) D 1-1 (8th)
MD20: vs Villablanca (235) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 1-1 (8th)
MD21: BYE (8th/OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED)
MD22: @New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto L 0-1 (9th)
MD23: vs Necosia (341) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 1-1 (9th)
MD24: @Turori (12) W 2-1 (9th)
MD25: vs Astograth (303) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 0-0 (9th)
MD26: @Muradil (212) W 3-1 (9th/6W-11D-7L/+3GD/29pts)

[HUElavia]

HUElavian Ladies Score 4 in Great End to the Qualifiers!

Fujai 0-4 HUElavia
(Vilca 14', Salgado 41', Hamada 84', Leblanc 88')

HUElavia entered Matchday 26 feeling great after clinching their Qualification to World Cup 85, which was earned on Matchday 25 in Ourao, as they defeated soundly Blouman Empire 3-0. Now, Coach Mendieta-Martinez felt relaxed with the spot being clinched, thus he decided to play a different, but historical squad: All female players in the squad starting the match (with the exception of Sissoko and Duran). This was the first time so many women were playing on the national team at once, which was a proud moment for the National Team and the country. Despite it being on the road, since Fujai was already eliminated, not so many fans showed up for the home team, which allowed HUElavians to take advantage of this and flock to the stadium to support their team in an endzone. The team wore their Away Uniform, while Vallares was the starting goalkeeper and Smirnov was the Captain.

The match kicked off, and HUElavia went on the attack, giving precise passes and crosses left and right as they traditionally do. HUElavia gave shots left and right, which had Parekh scrambling to save shots and putting them to continue in play or go out for corners. The opening goal would fall in the 14th minute, as HUElavia was attacking and Ramirez was trying to get past Hammeren, which she crossed the ball into the box, and Villca came out of nowhere to head the ball past Parekh and into the goal to make it 0-1. Villca was mobbed by her teammates while the HUElavian crowd of the stadium was cheering and jumping, with the stadium rumbling a little. Fujai then proceeded to attack, with Salberg and Hellem giving shots left and right, especially with crosses from Michaud, Hoss, and Solstein. Regardless, either the defense would snuff out the attacks, or Vallares would make acrobatic saves with ease as they helped each other to keep the clean sheet. Right before halftime, in the 41st minute, a counterattack saw Conti pass the ball through Veberg and Felland, as Salgado made a sprinting run to go one-on-one with Parekh to slide it past the goalie and into the bottom corner of the goal to make it 0-2. Salgado celebrated with her teammates while the HUElavian crowd was once again cheering and jumping to celebrate the goal. After 3 minutes of additional time, the referee ended the half, with both the team and fans satisfied with the 0-2 scoreline.

The second half kicked off, and Fujai were going on the attack, looking to cut the scoreline and get a few goals back. Salberg and Hellem were giving shots left and right, which some came close to going in, only for the post to deny them the goal. If it wasn't that, it was Vallares making spectacular saves, which had the HUElavian crowd applaud her efforts and her growth as a goalkeeper throughout the qualifiers. After a while, substitutions were made, with Fujai bringing in Qian, Kamie and Buras for Hellem, Michaud, and Hammeren respectively, while HUElavia brought in Navarro, Almeida, and Amaru for Sissoko, Ramirez, and Duran respectively. Despite the substitutions made by Fujai, they kept on getting dispossessed, and HUElavia kept hammering shots after shots that had Parekh looking exhausted. In the 84th minute, a pass from Conti went past Veberg and Felland as it reached Hamada to allow her to go one-on-one with Parekh, where she slid the ball to his left and into the goal to make it 0-3, with Hamada celebrating with her teammates while the HUElavian crowd celebrated with passion once more. A few minutes later in the 88th minute, Almeida set a pass to Hamada, who once again was one-on-one with Parekh, but this time she passed it to Leblanc who was at her right, and Leblanc gave a low shot that slid into the empty goal, to make it 0-4. Leblanc celebrated with her teammates and the bench while the HUElavian crowd celebrated with passion, but applauded the cheeky effort that was done to score the goal. After 5 minutes of additional time, the referee blew the whistle and the HUElavian crowd roared as the team went on the pitch to celebrate the end of the Qualifiers, with the scoreline reading 0-4.

The only other game that Los Amarillos followed was the Blouman Empire vs Equestria match, which saw Equestria win 0-2 to finish in 1st Place with 56 Points (16-8-0). HUElavia takes 2nd Place with 55 Points (18-1-5), Kandorith takes 3rd Place with 47 Points (13-8-3), Xanneria in 4th Place with 46 Points (13-7-4), and 5th Place going to Vdara with 44 Points (13-5-6). HUElavia finished with the most wins in the group with a record-high 18 wins, as well as jointly the most amount of goals with 67 Goals (tied with Xanneria), conceded the 2nd least amount of goals with 37 (compared to Equestria's 34), and the 2nd highest Goal Difference with +30 (compared to Equestria's +31). For now, the team will rest and set up friendlies to give minutes to the players as they await with anticipation for the Group Stage Draw that many HUElavians hope to have a good draw, much like they did in World Cup 84. The team and fans feel confident that they can make some noise once again in the World Cup and look forward o bringing the HUElavian pride and passion to Farfadillis and Mriin.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Eraman]

CHAPTER 15
THE LAST 5 MATCHES

The next 5 matches were crucial for Tun Sengalang Petara. Eraman chance of qualifying is already slim after the defeat to Pasarga. However, the last 5 matches of the World Cup qualification stage were crucial for the image of the prime minister cum head coach who is on the brink of an election.

Eraman recorded a hard-fought victory at home against Plane of Possibilities which were then followed by a thrashing at the hands of group favourite, Valanora. Not much noise was made following the results as both results were expected.

Then came the match at home against Bliuji. The only time Eraman lost at home during this campaign was against Pasarga. Even the mighty Valanora failed to get a single point in Eraman. Bliuji did the unexpected and beat Eraman at home. That was when things started to change.

The private media were calling for the resignation of Tun Sengalang Petara whom they said doesn't even have the required license to be a U-12 coach. Criticism and condemnation are parts and parcel of being the prime minister and the head coach and Tun Sengalang Petara once again proved that he is unaffected by it.

Tun Sengalang Petara went on to lead the national team to a 3-straight victory at the expanse of Juvencus, Kytler Peninsulae and Kuriko. Three matches won by an identical scoreline, 1-0 including 2 away from home, something Eraman failed to do since the first matchday.

In the end, Eraman finished the qualification round in 3rd place behind Valanora and Pasarga. Eraman failed to qualify to the World Cup but it's a feat that Tun Sengalang Petara deemed a success. He went around the country talking about the progress of the national team under his guidance and how they beat Valanora in Mitra.

[Timuria]

Ziwana 2–2 Timuria

Quick Summary by Aliser Hasanov

Timuria Starting XI (4-2-3-1): Iskender Nur, Zeynel Abidin Birkan, Kemal Colak, Berker Balkan, Gokdeniz Dag, Sabah Tanriseven, Reza Karaduman, Yerkebulan Suyumbayev, Ertan Renda, Volkan Ayhan, Omer Tameroglu

Timuria Subs: Ozbek Sarikaya

Timuria Goals: Ertan Renda (44, 60)

Ziwana Goals: Abdulaziz Haqawi (17), Jean Wilder (77)

Yellow Cards: Zeynel Abidin Birkan

What They Said After The Match:

Bekir Altingunes: Unfortunately Mr Altingunes was unable to meet with our journalists as he had to be admitted to hospital following an accidental collision that led to him falling down a set of stairs.

Person of the Match: Ertan Renda - He was placed in his more natural role as a number 10 and he produced showing he still has it and putting Vatan Ercetin under a little bit of pressure ahead of the Cup of Harmony.

[Trolleborg]

Previous parts of the story: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24.

Next day was the last in Trolleborg for Naomi and Wesley. On the way to the airport, they looked at their photos and videos taken during a visit to Trolleborg, with a lot of nostalgia, recalled their adventures and amusements, amazing discoveries and shocking innovations, talking cats and the ubiquitous robots that have the habit of going on vacation, battles with virtual enemies and a shopping paradise, salt spray of the sea and the roar of the stadium stands.

Outside the familiar frame at the airport, they warmly said goodbye to Kate, promising her to somehow return to Trolleborg and see how much of what he was offering and what was left out of the trip this time. Climbing the polar mountains, eating amazing dishes, take part of Games of the Forest People, reenactment of the exciting events of history - all this urged tourists to return soon.

Wesley and Naomi greeted Keithss who greeted them aboard the plane almost as a longtime friend, and, looking out the window when aircraft began run to take off, they said in chorus: "We need to come here again".

The plane soared smoothly into the air.

[OOC mode on]
I hope that you, dear forum users, was amused and entertained by this adventures of tourists from Zwangzug (or at least someone read them at all).

I express my deep gratitude to Zwangzug for his kind permission to use these two people in my story.

If suddenly someone is interested that the next World Cup Qualifying his citizens will be in their place, I am completely open to cooperation.

[Free Republics]

The Federation of Free Republics had suddenly gone dark to the rest of the multiverse. While Rule Theriault's National Soccer Team competed in World Cup qualifying, the Republican media was seemingly not reporting anything that caught international attention. The web sites of well-known Republican publications like Sporting World and News Magazine seemingly went dark. It was as if the FFR had isolated itself from the rest of the multiverse.

In reality, this wasn't the case but it seemed like it. After a lawsuit in some foreign nation's courts over News Magazine collecting data from their nationals in violation of some data protection law, all the major Republican news outlets decided to block all foreign traffic. Due to the ongoing economic recession in the Free Republics caused by the recent stock market crash, the Republican media had dramatically cut funding for international reporting across the board. Foreign news didn't particularly interest Republicans anyways because the stuff happening in their own nation was more interesting, more exciting and more relevant than whatever those foreigners were going on about.

This was also, in part, a political strategy devised by the Nicholls family to slow the momentum of the Izmailov campaign for consul. Samuel Izmailov, the long-time senator from Yoriac, had recently re-established his Party for National Greatness (the "Nat-Gres") and had rapidly gained support after saying inflammatory things and provoking responses from foreign leaders. As Izmailov's poll numbers rose, he was also gradually rebuilding his army of uniformed thugs known colloquially as the "Blue Shirts" which were officially known as the "Voluntary Militia for National Greatness". The "Blue Shirts" marched around the streets of the Free Republics, especially in areas where the police had failed to address crime, taking the law into their own hands and gaining the support of a substantial portion of the public. When the transit workers in New City went on strike, the Blue Shirts marched in as strikebreakers to keep the trains running. In areas where business owners had long complained about rowdy youths smoking cannabis, the Blue Shirts showed up with police-style batons to drive the potheads out. While controversial, many fed-up Republicans rallied to the support of the Blue Shirts.

However, Izmailov's popularity was primarily driven by his inflammatory statements. After Sarzonia's government [/url=https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=37191884#p37191884]erroneously decided that he was already the leader of the country[/url], his poll numbers skyrocketed. Mocking the Sarzonians for their "over-reaction" to some virus soon became part of every Izmailov speech. The ultra-nationalist thundered against the "Sarzonian Pussycats that are so scared of the big bad Sherpa cold virus that they lock themselves in their homes". Speaking of the virus that the Republicans referred to as the "Sherpa cold", it had spread to the Free Republics. After investigating it, the government's health experts determined that it only posed a serious risk of death to old people that are probably about to die anyway and morbidly obese people. Therefore, they decided that the most responsible thing to do was to calm the public down. Those that "over-reacted" to it were relentlessly mocked on the late night comedy programs and the Blue Shirts decided to beat up people who decided to do silly things like wear a mask in public. Since this was disproportionately a practice done by Republicans of Taiyouese and Ciqian descent, this gave them an excuse to engage in racist attacks against a group they didn't like anyway. Many businesses responded by banning face coverings until the Supreme Court ruled in Polus v. Burger Czar that this was an unconstitutional violation of religious liberty. Yes, Sister Maria Polus actually won a court case! The specifics of the case were rather boring. Sister Polus entered a Burger Czar fast food restaurant to order kids meals for an entire class that won a "Best Behaved" award at one of the Ecumenical Coalition for Morality's schools in Republica. The teenager making minimum wage at Burger Czar demanded that she take off her head covering before he would serve her. The nun refused, of course, and the Burger Czar manager ended up calling the cops to have Sister Polus removed from the premises. The Supreme Court ordered unequivocally that secular businesses were not allowed to refuse service due to religious affiliation.

On the soccer pitch, Theriault's National Team turned qualifying into quite an entertaining show thanks to an absolutely terrible defense that allowed more goals than 7 other teams in the group including the team that finished in last place in the 13 team group! This was a team that managed to draw and lose in 2 matches where they scored 5 goals. After a 9-1-2 first half of qualifying, they would go a mediocre 4-5-3 down the stretch. Still, they came into the final 3 matches needing just 1 win to clinch qualification. They would draw 2 of those matches and lose the one against an Ethane side that was the main threat to knock them out. However, Ethane would lose on the final day and Trolleborg would draw for the 10th time to allow the Republicans to finish 2nd outright despite an absolutely embarrassing 2nd half. Now, Rule Theriault had to get his defense straightened out in time for the World Cup.

As World Cup qualifying concluded, the attention of the Free Republics turned to the first round of the consul election. The battle between Golden Age candidate Nova Hellstrom-Hancock, Common Good candidate Valentin Svensson and Nat-Gre leader Samuel Izmailov was the talk of the nation. There were also a number of minor candidates including the candidates of the traditional major parties but none of them had gained traction. The battle between Hellstrom-Hancock's progressive nationalism, Svensson's social conservative populism that avoided explicit displays of religiosity and Izmailov's extreme nationalism sucked all the oxygen out of the room. The press simply didn't pay any attention to the other candidates because they were "boring" and thus 3 candidates who would be really bad for the FFR's international reputation were now the 3 major candidates.

The election happened. Republicans across the Federation made trips to their local polling places to vote. Unlike 4 years prior when the World Cup was in full swing, there were very few foreign voters. International tourism had fallen off thanks to the "Sherpa cold virus" and the FFR's current economy. All of the major Republican airlines had dramatically reduced international flights and airports were accepting fewer flights from foreign airlines. Eventually, the polls closed and the votes began to be counted.

As the first results came in, Izmailov jumped out to a massive lead and looked like he might win outright in the first round. This was because Yoriac, his home republic, was the first to vote. A few minutes later, a ton of votes came in from the Malifornia Charter Society and Svensson surged to a massive lead. Then Falatulu came in strong for Hellstrom-Hancock with a surprisingly large number of votes for Globalist Movement candidate Tsukihiko Fukuhara who was running again after finishing with 7.6% of the vote in the second round 4 years prior after narrowly reaching 10.1% in the first round.

As the night progressed, Izmailov, Hellstrom-Hancock and Svensson each settled in at around 25% of the vote each with Fukuhara hanging around at a surprising 15% or so. After the "Alternate Candidates Debate" right before the election, Fukuhara had polled extremely well in "who won the debate" polls but nobody in the media had expected a surge for him. As it became clear that he would be the only "alternative candidate" to make the second round, Scarlett Nicholls would call him up and offer to endorse him publicly, if it would help his campaign. Fukuhara hesitated because of Consul Nicholls's extremely poor approval ratings and told the consul that he would think about it.

At the end of the night, Izmailov had finished 1st with 25.1% of the vote. Hellstrom-Hancock finished 2nd and Svensson finished 3rd. Both also ended up with 25.1% of the vote. Just 300 votes separated Izmailov from Svensson in an election where billions of votes were cast. Fukuhara finished at 14.6%. Nobody else came close to the 10% threshold.

In the Assembly elections, the result was a different story. Besides the 4 parties represented in the second round of the consul election, the Moderate Liberal Conservatives, Radical Alliance and Liberty Party all also received over 10% of the vote. A number of other parties obtained enough votes to reach the threshold for proportional representation in the Assembly including Responsible Progress, the Progressives (who returned to elected Federation-level office for the first time since the Leftists Republic Rebellion), the Outlaw Marijuana Party and even a new party called the "Parent Rights Movement" (which sought to use the power of the Federation government to repeal republic-level "child abuse" laws). There was no clear majority coalition in the Assembly and it appeared that it would be very difficult to piece together any coalition capable of electing a Speaker of the Assembly.

The Commission on Consul Debates immediately began negotiating with the 4 candidates for a debate that would air in prime time on every major network. Eventually, they agreed on a date, a time and a format plus an additional head to head debate should a third round be necessary...

[HUElavia]

HUElavia to Partake on Thursday's World Cup Draw!

For the second time, and in consecutive fashion, The United States of HUElavia will participate in the draw of the World Cup. For the draw, HUElavia will be represented by Coach Mendieta-Martinez along with HFA President Fernando Rodrigues, and two personal translators for the Coach and President. HUElavians back home feel proud that the country will be represented among the 32 best teams in the multiverse, especially after having the best-ever qualifying performance with the 16th best overall record (out of 195 participants). HUElavia is also among 9 participants that are representing an Independent Region outside the "Big 3" Sporting Regions, also being part of 3 Teams from the Pacific Regions, and being the only representative from The South Pacific.

Based on projections, HUElavia will move up to just one spot, 22nd Place, but have gained points out of the gain. Due to their ranking, Los Amarillos will officially be a Pot 3 team, being the 20th team on the list. The Pots are as follows:

Pot 1- Vilita, Farfadillis (Co-Host & reigning Champion), Eura, Banija, Nephara, Starblaydia, The Holy Empire, Mriin (Co-Host)

Pot 2- Equestria, Cassadaigua, Kita-Hinode, Commonwealth of Baker Park, Brenecia, Tuori, Valanora, Free Republics

Pot 3- Taeshan, Audioslavia, Ko-oren, HUElavia, Recuecn, Siovanija and Teusland, Pasarga, Qasden

Pot 4- Zwangzug, Kelssek, 95X, Drawkland, Main Nation Ministry, Terre Septentrioniale, Sarzonia, Hampton Island

Based on these Pots, there are 3 Notable Possibilities that the draw can go for Los Amarillos:

Best Case Scenario- Mriin, Free Republics, HUElavia, Hampton Island

Worst Case Scenario- Vilita, Equestria, HUElavia, Zwangwug

Predicted Scenario- Starblaydia, Kita-Hinode, HUElavia, Kelssek

Regardless whoever Los Amarillos draw, the team is willing to take on whomever they get, and the fans are 100% committed to support the team in their 2nd ever appearance. The HUElavian Government has advised HUElavians to hold out from purchasing plane and match tickets, as well as hotel accommodation until the draw is done, just so the fans can properly spend their money to the locations the team will play at. In general, HUElavia is excited for the World Cup and hope to have a good performance once again, much like their debut was in Cassadaigua and Baker Park in World Cup 84.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Fully through qualifying for the World Cup, we take a look at what happened overall in our debut campaign.

But first - what happened to Los Pitxileros in World Cup qualifying? Let’s fire up the Copametro to find out… .

A LARGE PACKET OF QUACKERS PLEASE
Quakmybush 3-7 TEQUILO HT: 3-4

Location: The Quacker Box, somewhere in Quakmybush Att: A variety of cheeses & chutneys
SCORERS: Quacker#10 2’ 20’ Quacker#6 39’ | Artechevarria 4’ 45’ de Leon 26’ Tlacolotl 28’ Tün 54’ Bailén 62’ 75’

What a way to bow out of a World Cup! As qualifying came to an end the agave-blues flew to Qakistán¹ knowing that a single point would give them a top half finish in their first ever World Cup qualifying campaign; as it happens, results elsewhere meant that a win and three points would in fact give them a very creditable fourth place - and the crazy football that unfolded at The Quacker Box handsomely rewarded Tequilo for their efforts. A ding dong first half of kamikaze defending meant seven goals shared, with the visitors going in ahead at the break, after the lead had changed hands twice. Within the context of a mad world of goals, grass and glory, it was a tight affair and could have gone either way at the break, or ended up 8-8 after 45 minutes. But in the second half, the visitors really turned the screw with three more unanswered goals, including a brace from Ricardo Bailén; while Agustin de Leon got his first international goal on his first start in the competition. There is something about playing the Ducks that brings out the gung-ho in the Tequiloans, now having scored 13 goals against them in two fixtures, conceding five. But with six points in return, no-one here is complaining. Coach Isaac Martí must be credited for a very decent campaign, while we here at GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!! will be the first in line to apologise for putting him under pressure a few games in when Los Pitxileros hit a bit of a wall.

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QUARTER OF QUALIFIERS
World Cup Review 4/4

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Goodbye World Cup ’85, it was a blast…

As expected the road to Farfariin ended, well, not in Farfariin anyway, as Los Pitxileros completed a very respectable campaign well short of qualification. But with that unexpected turn of events in the last round of matches, everyone should be very happy with a sort of ‘best of the rest’ fourth placed finish behind the three clear leaders. As we at the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Extra desk wrap up our WC’85 diaries and hand in our travel expenses to the editor, there is just one final article to submit to the proof readers - we’ll finish with our final Quarter of Qualifiers by looking at the overall best player for the agave-blues in this cycle, and giving you stats lovers a dose of your preferred medicine with a final count of appearances, goals and average ratings for all players during a marathon qualifying campaign; and we end with a class report - recalling our friends, rivals and downright enemies of the Baptism of Fire [Enemies? Do we have those? - Ed.] [Havynwilde, the dirty hackers - Desk.] [Fair enough - Ed.] - and seeing how we all got on when we went up against the big boys in the playground.

TEQUILO PLAYER OF QUALIFYING: CALLAÑUAPA

Colección Stiki-Stiki^TM is proud to be official sponsor of the Unión Pitxi de Tequilo’s ‘Player of Qualifying’ award, won by Equipo Caimán’s quietly confident defensive midfielder, Callañuapa, 34, one of the veterans and natural leaders of the squad who spent the long cycle consistently reminding young future superstar Ixtub Tün that there is still one heck of a player in front of him for the time being; and Ixtub has gone on record to state how much he has learned from El Mayor, as he’s been dubbed by his team-mates at Caimán. Making 16 appearances in qualifying, winning three player of the match awards and bagging two goals, Callañuapa was certainly the most consistently good player even during the low spots when team form deserted Tequilo; his peak was certainly winning the captain’s armband on a couple of occasions when both Mateo Tafalla and his deputy Haize Apeiztegui were inconveniently disposed through injury - if only he were ten years younger, he’d have ten years ahead of him as a fixture in this team, but alas, has already declared he will retire from his brief stint in international football after the Cup of Harmony.

Full name Quxtlán Calla-Calla Huamuy de Machacunga, the Mextiqo of Guastenangan and Huayna-people mixed heritage grew up in the city of Yoriloma, Guastenango, and began his football career with local lower-tier team Insurgentes Nísa, before a move to one of the state’s big boys, Acacoyagua. Not settling in, the 19-year old soon found himself shipped out on loan to Correcaminos, where he excelled and was eventually signed on a permanent deal. At the Roadrunners he won a state championship and at 22 with a sparkling career in the big time ahead, surprisingly switched to Equipo Caimán, a former powerhouse well down on their luck. It is here that Callañuapa settled, moving the Alligators back toward their former glories and, after seven seasons in which he firmly established himself as a quiet and determined team captain, earning his monicker El Mayor, Caimán finally won a title, their 12th overall but the first in sixteen years - Callañuapa himself had won more in his career in that time. Regularly representing Guastanenago state in the annual Seleccione championships, some thought him too old for the new national team that went to Delaclava for the Baptism of Fire. But coach Mauricio Nores put him straight into the starting line-up where he has largely been ever since.

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WORLD CUP QUALIFYING FINAL TEAM STATISTICS

Tequilo Starters
					WC-85 Qualifying Statistics			Total
#	Name			POS	Games	Gls/CS	Y/R	PoM	Av.R	AGE	Cps/Gls	CLUB			

1.	Ferran Teixidó		GK	 8	 1*	2/-	-	6.2	25	11/1*	Galaxía			
2.	Patrick Zambo		DL	17	 -	4/-	1	6.5	31	27/4	Resplendiente		
3.	Haize Apeiztegui	DC	22	 2	4/-	3	6.8	32	33/4	Unuiĝinta		
4.	Huracan			DC	20	 1 	5/1	-	6.3	23	30/5	Jaguar Itxacomitán	
5.	Chicchan		DR	18	 2	-/-	1	5.9	30	24/2	Pitxi-Pitxi 77		
6.	Callañaupa		DMC	15(1)	 2	1/-	3	7.4	34	26/3	Equipo Caimán		
7.	Isidoro Artechevarria	AML	15(1)	 6	6/1	2	6.2	20	23/7	Urbo Ibaeta		
8.	Mateo Tafalla		AMC	11	 4	1/-	1	6.7	31	22/11	Motozintla		
9.	Tlacolotl		ST	21	15	2/-	3	7.3	19	28/23	Pitxi-Pitxi 77		
10.	Roxelio Toran		ST	 9(1)	 2	1/-	-	6.5	25	16/10	Ciupa Azul		
11.	Tutayan			AMR	16	 2	3/-	1	6.1	28	26/3 	SC Raití		

Main Reserve Squad

12.	Garaitz Minha		DL	 7(3)	 -	4/1	1	5.2	29	14/-	CF Frantxizko-A		
13.	Noxochinoch		DC	 6(7)	 1	4/1	-	6.6	27	19/1	Xicoans			
14.	Antón Lascares		DC	 1	 -	-/-	-	7.3	22	 1/-	Real Gardaresso		
15.	Huachalla		DR	 5(2)	 -	-/-	1	7.7	24	11/1	Acacoyagua		
16.	Ixtub Tün		DMC	 7(5)	 1	3/-	-	6.1	17	15/2	Pitxi-Pitxi 77		
17.	Vilca Hualla		AML	 9(2)	 1	1/-	1	6.7	21	12/1	Índigo Huayna		
18.	Niño Pinto		AMC	11(1)	 7	2/-	3	7.3	17	15/8	Índigo Huayna		
19.	Narciso Cora		ST	 3(4)	 2	2/-	-	6.1	33	15/5	SC Pedregal		
20.	Agustin de Leon		ST	 1(3)	 1	-/-	-	6.1	25	 9/1	Polo Sur		
21.	Oscar Bienvenida	GK	14(2)	 4*	4/-	-	6.4	18	22/6*	Tumuloa Xico		
22.	Ricardo Bailén		AMR	 2(4)	 4	-/-	-	6.9	21	 9/5	Fábrica Tapalupé	
31.	Aimadeo Planas		GK	 1	 -	-/-	-	3.4	28	 1/-	Cóndor Sezalco		

Junior Reserves

23.	Segundo Torres		DL	 1(1)	 -	-/-	-	6.6	20	 2/-	Tequiloans		
24.	Vincent Okila		DC	 0(2)	 -	-/-	-	6.6	20	 5/1	Benemérito		
25.	Kisin			DC	 0(1)	 -	-/-	-	7.2	22	 1/-	Pitxi-Pitxi 77		
26.	Valero Alcalá		DR	 -	 -	-/-	-	 -	19	  -	Chazapañol		
27.	Xiloyotl		DMC	 1(1)	 -	1/-	-	3.8	20	 2/-	Fortuna Tulan			
28.	Davide Pazos		AML	 0(1)	 -	-/-	-	6.2	16	 1/-	SC Raití			
29.	Xiuhcoatl		AMC	 0(2)	 - 	1/-	-	7.4	19	 4/-	Xicoans			
30.	Urrués Gironella	ST	 0(1)	 -	-/-	-	7.0	18	 3/-	Pingüinos		
32.	Tepa			ST	 0(2)	 -	1/-	-	5.9	17	 2/-	Xicoans				
33.	Masango Sukè		AMR	 6(2)	 2	-/-	-	7.3	17	 8/2	Argón Tacranza		

Rotation Squad

34.	Ahmucen			DL	 -	 -	-/-	-	 -	29	  -	Serpentina		
35.	Camilo Caira		DC	 0(1)	 -	-/-	-	5.3	22	  1/-	Acacoyagua		
36.	Serbando Noguera	DM	 -	 -	-/-	-	 -	25	  -	AS Tonalá		
37.	Arximiro Rodas		MC	 0(1)	 -	-/-	-	6.5	36	  1/-	Acacoyagua		
38.	Onorato Claver		AMC	 3(2)	 -	-/-	-	5.7	27	  5/-	Los Miñeros		
39.	Urlegi Gorostola	ST	10(3)	 3	5/-	1	6.8	33	 13/3	Polibio			
40.	Mendo Ximines		ST	 1	 -	-/-	-	0.1	22	  1/-	Atlético Lipa		
41.	Xenofonte Ainz		GK	 -	 -	-/-	-	 -	33	  -	Erreal Tiresias		
 
*clean sheets

THE CLASS OF ’72: PROGRESS REPORT

Finishing fourth in group 8 of qualifying at the first attempt, Coach Isaac Martí has to be pleased with how the first cycle panned out, following on from Mauricio Nores almost-glorious Baptism of Fire 72 tournament, where the agave-blues finished third. But how did our fellow BoF’ers cope with playing in the big boys (and girls, humans of indeterminate gender, transhumans, aliens and other creatures) on the main event stage? In the following table we pick out the top ten, based on points won in their group, along with the BoF champions - who could not recreate any form of their past glories, and poor old BoF & WC whipping boys - or girls, or humans… well, you know what I mean - Revatnagar, who seem to have peaked at the sign-up stage and failed to turn up for either of the next campaigns - we’re guessing they won’t be appearing in the Cup of Harmony. As for the hooligan himitators of Havynwilde, p’tuh! We won’t mention them at all, except to say they didn’t do much better than the Revvers.

There certainly were some impressive performances, with the two other non-champion semi-finalists Reina and Zeta Reka Hügeltaldom doing well - Reina in particular, the second best of all the Class of 72 proving their semi-final appearance was no fluke. ZRH, meanwhile, could be the only one of the class to qualify, on a technicality, if 95X miss the bus. We are still waiting on NSWC Committee announcements on this, but finishing third in their group could be enough to see them sneak in - just the way Bonesea did in their first campaign during ‘Blexit’ when Sword Bloke qualified but disappeared from the face of the multiverse. Tequilo’s BoF groupmates Kohnhead had an outstanding campaign to finish third in the class, while everyone from the fraternity ( - especially over here - can be immensely proud of South Newlandia, who competed admirably in group 13 and managed to beat the Pointy Ears not once but twice, home and away, in an historic double.

But the shock of the group are the Independent Athletes from Quebec - where the hell did they come from? [No need to write in to tell us ‘Quebec’ - Ed.] The Athletes hardly turned up for the Baptism of Fire, not even bothering to help their opponents with a team sheet, and failed to get out of their group, which logistically speaking was harder to achieve than qualifying. In any case, they stormed to an extraordinary 49 points in World Cup Qualifying, making us reach for the KPB charts to see if there had been some strange magic at play; it seems not. One of the worst BoF’ers, right down there with Revatnagar, suddenly had become the Class of ’72 Prom Queen. Inverosímil!

BoF-72  				   P   W    D	L    GF   GA   GD   Pts        Rank	Group-Pos
1  Independent Athletes from Quebec       24   15   4   5    58   40  +18    49		311	G.15 - 3rd
2  Riena                                  24   14   4   6    57   39  +18    46		196	G.14 - 3rd
3  Kohnhead                               24   12   5   7    46   37   +9    41		243	G. 2 - 5th
4  Twicetagria                            24   12   4   8    48   41   +7    40		325	G. 5 - 4th
5  South Newlandia                        24   11   7   6    39   37   +2    40		228	G.13 - 4th
6  Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom              24   10   8   6    35   30   +5    38		200	G.12 - 3rd
7  Tequilo                                24   10   7   7    57   45  +12    37		185	G. 8 - 4th
8  Donnacona                              24   11   2  11    39   34   +5    35		325	G. 2 - 7th
9  Maccian                                24    9   8   7    21   21    0    35		257	G. 4 - 6th
10 Valentine Z                            24    9   4  11    35   38   −3    31		257	G. 6 - 7th

   Mavinet                                24    8   4  12    46   47   −1    28		218	G.13 - 9th
   Revatnagar                             24    1   2  21    25   70  −45     5		338	G.15 - 13th

Perhaps the Zekans will be in the World Cup proper, perhaps not. Hopefully many of the top 10 in this little family will be in the Cup of Harmony where Los Pitxileros hope to revisit some new acquaintances [except Havynwilde - Desk.] and try to find out how the Quebecois improved their performances so dramatically - are we talking cocoa-bo here? Just wait till Sir Barse hears about this.

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NEXT TIME
What’s Up In The Next Issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!

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Coming soon - By the time the next issue of GOLa! hits the stands, the Agave-Blues will be preparing for their second tournament in quick succession as they take on all the other also-rans in the Cup of Harmony. We’ll be polishing off the Copametro for match reports, looking up old favourites to see what they are doing now, and there is a lively debate on the EXTRA desk about how many words we need to write for each article after intern, janitor and cha wallah Juan Line Juateguy complained to the editor that he’s feeling under too much pressure to add more lines to his pithy reports.

See you in Kelssek and/or Zwangzug!

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FOOTNOTES
1Reçeuçn [/kidding]
1Quakmybush

[Zwangzug]

"I think they were trying to get through the brick," said Jill. "You never know, it might be today."

"Nobody is calling Mimmo's brick," said Elena.

"How do you know?"

"It would make that chirpy eight-bit noise that's even more annoying than--" Elena broke off before giving voice to Amelie's nonsense. "--than fans with airhorns and stuff. Everyone would be running to turn it off. Samuel would be running to turn it off."

"Nuh-uh, they'd want something to hope for."

"You know what I hope for?"

"Peak'n'Break muffins that aren't blueberry?"

Elena blinked. "How'd you know I was gonna say that?"

"I didn't, I just figured it might be something that would ruin the mood."

"Guys," Inez hissed. "Something's happening."

Her frenzied energy made it seem like whatever "something" was was more good than bad, but it didn't really matter. They would have hustled to find an outdated Rocket Report in Tim's stuff or a faded pennant Rowan dug up from the bottom of a dusty trophy case.

This was bigger. This was almost everyone, clustered in the vestibule near Gate C. Outside, through the door, amid the grays and browns of the mountains, flashes of bright yellow. Between the Rovers and the bright, almost impossible glow, Ryan, babbling. "You can't--it's not--"

"We know who you are," said a muffled, distant voice, "we know what happened. It's safe to come with us."

"What--has it spread?" Ryan stammered. "The ref, the other team, the--I don't know, connecting planes. What happened?"

"The world is sometimes turbulent," said someone, "but then, it always is. Zwangzug is fine."

More quiet discussion, and maybe Ryan was just too overwhelmed to protest or fear, because then he had stepped aside and they were surging in, maybe a half-dozen strangers in plastic suits. "There's nineteen--" Ryan broke off. "Most of us are fine, we can walk, you don't--"

"Do you need food?" someone was asking Elena.

"No. Yes. I mean, eventually, something different, but we've had stuff, here--" She probably sounded as stunned as Ryan did. "Not now."

"I'm going to put this on your forehead;" she held up a plastic device, a little smaller than a flashlight, "it'll measure your temperature, okay?"

"We have our own, uh." The woman probably thought she was crazy. Maybe she was. "I mean, whatever, go for it."

A few seconds, then beeps and a satisfied nod. "Okay, come with Dana, she'll help you get down."

Outside the gates the sun's light was almost as strange as the neon suit that Dana wore, even though it was the same light that shone over the stadium. "I'm Elena," she said.

Dana's face was masked; it was impossible to gauge her amusement as she said "M-hm." Well, she wasn't exactly a household name.

Quincy followed her, and Jill and Hallam, and that seemed a satisfactory enough quorum for Dana to wave them down. "Tram a little ways down," she said. "Stick with me."

They were halfway there before Hallam blinked. "Hold on," he said, "my clipboard."

"They'll get it," Jill said confidently.

"But--"

"They will bring it," she repeated, "they're not gonna touch anything, it's enough of a mess in there as it is."

Elena almost laughed, dizzy with possibility, and they made their way into the bright unreality of the world.

(Blum 12, McCollins 40, Saitta 59, Twoni 71)

[Audioslavia]

Jeremy's hangover had woken up twenty minutes before he had, and had clearly spent that extra time stuffing cotton wool into his brain. When the old hack awoke, his first instinct was that he needed to drink something, and fast. He reached over to the bedside cabinet and grabbed the first thing that felt like it could be a bottle of water and squeezed it into his mouth.

Ah yes. No. No that wasn't water. That was alcohol hand-wash.

After he'd finally gotten the taste of lemon-scented disinfectant out of his mouth, using a combination of toothpaste, mouthwash, two pints of water and the remains of last night's beer, he picked his phone up from his trousers, which he'd apparently thrown onto the sofa the previous evening, and used it's final minutes of battery life to check on the World Cup group draw that had happened during the night.

Nephara. Valanora. 95X.

Well... that... that was a group.

Nephara, a team the Bulls had played five times. World Cup 71 opening day: Lost 2-0. World Cup 75 third place playoff: Lost 2-1. Another 2-0 defeat and a 2-2 draw in qualifying for World Cup 80, and a one-sided Nephara win in the second round of World Cup 84 to top off a dismal record against a modern heavyweight of international football.

Valanora were a team Audioslavia had a better record against, a positive one, but everyone knew the pattern by now. One team stuffs the other, perhaps to much so as to assume they'll have the upper hand forever, and then duly get stuffed themselves in the next game. Audioslavia had played the Marauders twice in cycle 82 and hit three past them both times, all but knocking them out of the AOCAF Cup and World Cup that cycle at the first hurdle. In doing so, the Audioslavia national team had basically painted a squiggly bulls-eye on their own collective arse.

95X was a happier proposition. In seven games against the nation-bus the Bulls had kept clean sheets in six of them, winning 3-0 twice and 1-0 thrice, drawing the most recent encounter, at this cycle's AOCAF Cup, zero-each. That 95X had floored the Bulls 4-2 in the other encounter a few cycles ago was... at least a little troubling.

It was not the kind of group you wanted to wake up hungover to. This, to Jeremy, was the sort of group you'd have a late-morning whisky to. For a second after opening the bottle he even considered finding a glass.

A buzz from his phone interrupted his first (and, as he'd promised himself just before it, only) swig of whisky. It was a notification from YouTube, the RL States app that had somehow found itself a platform on his real, NS world phone. [Your video will go live in ten minutes].

Oh shit, yeah. That.