World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Natanians and Nosts]

Natanians and Nosts lost to Muradil.The team was playing well until the 28th minute of the 2nd period,when following the rule of "who does not score,suffers",Muradil scored a goal in a weird position.The team did not recover until the 42nd minute of the second period,but it was too late.
The next match will be against Audioslavia,a team we somehow managed to defeat once,but now we kno that we will surely lose against.Natanians and Nosts still has the same number of points.

[Kelssek]

MD25 scores for groups 1-7

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

The Taegukgi : Sports Section

March 23, 2044

Jeremie Moh

MONTREAL, MONTREAL - The Quebecois National Football Team, as we all know too well, are still standing. With last week's victory against Damukuni at The Samseongoloondongjang, Montreal, the Grim Reapers seemed to have perfectly cleared their mid-qualification form where they lost five straight to opponents in various embarrassing fashion.

Now, with two matches to go, the Grim Reapers are six points behind the second-place Recuecn and one point ahead of Filindostan. While the national team, as a whole, have performed well, there are nonetheless particular players whom have shined for the Grim Reapers. One of them was Roderick Yi, Roderick Yi, the national team captain who has played a major role for the Grim Reapers in the Qualifying Stage of the 2044 World Cup 85. The Taegukgi was extremely lucky and privileged to have a chance of an interview with the left-footer, who is currently on second season with a Vilitan side Turoki Tide. With Jeremie Moh, our star football correspondent , we were able to have a short interview with Roderick the morning after the win against Damukuni in Montreal, to talk to us about his career, the national team experience and career aspirations so far.

Moh : Thank you for coming to today's interview. Millions of our readers and I appreciate you being here.

Yi : No worries! Always a pleasure to be interviewed by you guys.

Moh : Thank you. Anyways, you have performed very well for the Grim Reapers, scoring 9 goals in 21 qualifying games so far, while also capping the nation for 2 friendly matches. How do you feel about your performance so far?

Yi : Happy. Just happy.

Moh : Obviously, the Grim Reapers had a slightly different challenge when they returned under the Independent Athletes from Quebec banner after fourteen years, because not only did the entire national team had to reboot, but also the whole experience of being able to take part for most people. Obviously, they didn't start off well with poor performances in the AOCAF and the Baptism of Fire. What is your take on the matter?

Yi : Well, all in all we can say about our struggles earlier were that we were still building our team. There's a famous saying named Fire Sharpens Iron, and even the iron with highest quality would have to go through that if it were left out in the wilderness for few decades. That was why both tournaments, however prestigious or important they may be to others, were more of a practice for us. That's something that Coach Mah established to us long before, and he wanted us not to dwell on it too much. Obviously we had awful runs here and there, and had received many spankings for that. But it all prepared us for the best and whatnot, and I believe that the struggles earlier were why we came to the Qualifying Round with that fire.

Moh : One of the toughest challenges for footballers, and all sportsmen, if we have to be honest, is moving abroad to seek for a better career. The Quebecois had a long tradition of legends being successful abroad, whether it be Zachary Fortin, Hazel van Robben or obviously Ondrej Cech, and you became part of an illustrious list to move abroad by moving to Turoki Tide two years ago. Since then, you have adjusted very nicely to the life in Vilita, where you chose to go instead of Siovanija and Teusland.

Yi : Oh, yes. It wasn't an easy choice, as we all know. Both Borograd and Turoki wanted me a ton, and I saw great promise with both teams. And then, after much deliberation, I decided to go to Turoki, because not only did I feel that the team was much more competitive for my liking, but also because they had long lines of Quebecois footballers doing well. Ondrej Cech and Lorne Dunford were the stars with the team for two decades, and both Cadwadlr and I were lured into it, perhaps for good. Fortunately it has all worked out well and I'm happy to be with the Tide.

Moh : I agree with you on it. Still, do you think that you would have done better with Borograd, with the familiarity of Siovanija and Teusland and whatnot to yourself?

Yi : It is not up to me to comment upon, I'm afraid. While I do have family in Siovanija and Teusland, and Borograd is a lovely city, I tend not to dwell onto those thoughts. So, who knows? Maybe. Maybe not. That's all I can say.

Moh : So now you have 2 important matches left, both of which you have to win. Even if the Grim Reapers win, they still have to hope Receucn lose both matches, one of them ironically enough against the Grim Reapers. Stakes are higher and people are likely expecting more the same from you. How do you feel about it?

Yi : Well, the only thing I can confidently say about is that we can do it. Frankly, it will be difficult enough to do so, especially given the strength of schedule and how we'll have to fly to Recuecn and then hope that they will lose to Qvardax while we beat Grearia at home, but this doesn't mean that it's all over for us just yet. We gotta see how our fortunes go but we don't stand such a bad chance either.

Moh : Thank you so much. We look forward to watch you play against Recuecn this friday night.

Yi : Thank you! My pleasure.

[Mriin]

Always keep an eye out for what they're getting up to in the nosebleeds. Cutoff for Groups 8-15!

[Taeshan]

The Appraisal to MR TAYTO 0-2 Taeshan 
I’m guessing in his office, The Appraisal to MR TAYTO
Sneijder 17’, Brubaker 50’

Should I Stay or Should I go?

I find myself at an impasse. Yenvil Town is my hown, and the Football Club has been my whole life. When we were promoted to the Premier League, I was a young and bright eyed 16-year-old. My dream was to play in the premier league and play for the Purple Knights. At 16 I was about to check offline number one, and only 2 years later I would check off item number 2. Now at 20 I am a starter for the national team, and I have taken Yenvil Town to the Champions’ League, and our first top trophy. A Fadron Pizza Cup, and a second-place finish. Is that enough?

I made a promise to bring glory to my small little town. Yenvil Town joined the Taeshan Soccer Federation only a decade before my birth and quickly began rise from the lowest division. A few years in the second division and the bells of the Premier League finally rung us in as a runner up. No playoff needed. My journey as a footballer started here. And I had reached my first goal. Now I was hoping to bring some national attention to the smallest team in the Premier League. Our third season we got really close. But this last season we did two incredible things. Fought for a title and won the cup.

Now I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place. A strong performance in World Cup qualifying, and with Yenvil Town has eyes on me. Big clubs looking to sign the young Taeshani attacking player. We are known for our defense, but our stars are midfielders and strikers. You have to be really good to score for Taeshan when defense is the main aim. I find myself having lots of conversations with teams, with players about going places. About teams that could win the Champions’ league.

But yet, my hometown has made not only that competition, but we have a big Cup Winner’s Cup to take part of. This could be a huge chance. We played in a B series tournament, but as often in Taeshan that was pushed aside so we could stave off relegation. Now we have a chance. Champions’ league, what more could I hope for? For my own town, my little Yenvil?

Leaving would be hard on me. I love Yenvil. I love Taeshan. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had come in for me. But I stayed. I wanted to finish this great climb up the table. But have I succeeded? I promised a trophy. Is this good enough? Is this enough? Payment to this small-town club for everything they gave me. I don’t know. That is the hard part, and I don’t yet know where I am. Where my heart finds itself today. What am I without the little town of Yenvil?

Larson Sneijder

[Kelssek]

FOOTBALL
Five-star performance sees Kelssek into World Cup finals
Kelssek are heading to the World Cup finals for the second time in three cycles, marking an important milestone in manager Andrea Crowe’s first full cycle in charge of the national team.

The football Voyagers secured their spot with a 5-0 win away in Xuzaqiy. Departing from the tendency to rotate the squad against weaker sides, Crowe left nothing to chance and put out a full-strength starting eleven. The unknown and unranked hosts simply crumpled under the onslaught.

“This is the situation that you have the rotation in place for. Playing as a squad and not just 11 or 18 players, making full use of the country’s depth of professional talent, this is something she really deserves credit for. Managing this over a marathon qualification phase, nearly as long as some domestic league seasons, isn’t easy,“ said KBC analyst and former national team player Henri Cournoyer.

Goals from Shaheen Taleb, Thamior Liadon, Patrice Champetier and Matt Lister ensured the team will be heading to Farfadillis and Mriin for the World Cup finals. Colm Ó Tuathail bullied the opposing full-back all night and by the end of the match had virtually free rein on the left flank.

Ironically, qualification was a disappointment for some fans who believed that Kelssek has a better chance of success in the Cup of Harmony and were relishing the chance to see Kelssek play a major international tournament on home soil.

Yet playing in the finals will still help to grow the sport of football in the country, said Football Kelssek technical director Taylor Bradley, and the spectacle of top-level international football will still be an attractive ticket even if Kelssek aren’t playing.

“There are some top teams who will have a chip on their shoulder coming here, and some up-and-coming teams who promise to make for an exciting tournament. So I don’t think the exposure for the sport is going to be a problem.”

Kelssek will round off their campaign with a match against Cassadaigua, who are also already qualified. Kelssek’s players will wear rainbow laces in support of LGBT pride celebrations in the country this month. While it’s just bragging rights, Kelssek could be in first place if they win this match.

XUZAQIY – 0
KELSSEK 5 – Champetier (8’, 74’), Lister (25’), Liadon (52’), Taleb (79’)
Lineup: Poirier, Liadon, Curtin, Halliger, Douglass, Demetriev (Bogdanor 71’), Lapierre (Tremblay-Fillon 60’), Ó Tuathail (Maçon-Petrault 71’), Champetier, Lister, Taleb.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas in Huayramarca looking sad

This is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem, we're in Huayramarca for another must win game.
World Cup 85 qualification round 25, and with Nephara having qualified it was left to see if two teams took the last spot in Group 7.
For Jeruselem and Sarzonia, today was a must win.

Competitive Solitaire hosted Darmen and got soundly trashed 6-2 by Darmen
Great Lausitz hosted Delaclava and lost 4-3. Delaclava win 4-3 a lot ...
Nephara were at home and won 2-1 against Acronius.
Welzat had 3-3 draw with Simpralia at home.

Sarzonia were at home and did beat Aimena 2-0.
With a 2 point buffer over us, we had to win.

Unfortunately for us, we didn't do our job and we lost to the home team 3-2 Huayramarca.
So we're eliminated.
No point going over the match and saying what went wrong, because it's pointless as it will not change things.

Well, Huayramarca were nice to us and the president Hugo Mina did give us ... Alpaca suits.
I'm not sure when I'm ever going to use of these though.

Well, not much more we can do. We're eliminated.

OOC
Group 7
Competitive Solitaire 2–6 Darmen
Sarzonia 2–0 Aimena
Huayramarca 3–2 Jeruselem
Great Lausitz 3–4 Delaclava
Nephara 2–1 Acronius
Welzat 3–3 Simpralia

Code: Select all

   Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Nephara                                      23   20   1   2    83   20  +63    61 Q
 2 Sarzonia                                     23   15   4   4    60   38  +22    49 Q
 3 Jeruselem                                    23   14   2   7    61   40  +21    44
 4 Darmen                                       23   12   6   5    60   40  +20    42


[Sarzonia]

Prior to the start of World Cup 84, Sarzonia were a team at a crossroads. They were mourning the loss of the man hired to manage their second tournament and first World Cup qualifying campaign after years of isolation. Their absence from the world of competitive football left them unranked. The suicide death of Bryan Ostrom left them emotionally shattered.

This wasn't unusual territory for the Stars. After all, their first ever manager died during World Cup 17 qualifying, forcing assistant manager Dave Wilson to become manager. That team started World Cup 16 as a nation brand new to World Cup football with a Baptism of Fire Cup trophy in tow. On their fourth try, they made it to the proper.

The team sent to compete in World Cup 44 qualifying was also returning to the stage after an extended absence as an unranked, unknown and unheralded side. That team authored The Marshall Miracle, a shocking 2-0 victory over The Han Empire, which carried the 11th rank into Woodstock. It also played the two-time defending champion Valanora to two draws, including an agonising result with the Stars leading by two goals with 20 minutes left in regulation. That group needed three attempts to qualify.

With two matches remaining in the current World Cup qualifying cycle, Sarzonia came into the penultimate match of qualifying with a two-point lead against Jeruselem for the second and final World Cup spot in the Group 7 table. A match at Dazza Dallas Stadium loomed with the potential to decide the Stars fate. But first, Sarzonia had to face Aimena in the final match at Dave Wilson Stadium. Jeruselem faced Huayramarca in an away fixture.

Sarzonia took care of business with a 2-0 victory as Jake Campos and Brady Reynolds each scored. They'd just finished the jersey exchange with the Aimenans when they heard an enormous roar from the crowd. They looked up and saw Huayramarca 3-2 Jeruselem and suddenly saw "Full Time" flash next to the score.

Just two World Cup qualifying cycles into Sarzonia's second return from a period of isolation, the Stars were through to the finals. The players began to pile on top of each other in a wild celebration. Manager Kevin Connelly blinked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

One cycle ago, he was ready to walk away from the game. The Stars stumbled badly out of the gate in his unexpected tenure as interim manager. He spent as much time as a grief counselor as he did as a football manager. Then the Stars started winning. They authored a shock 3-1 away victory over world No. 19 Brenecia after losing the home leg by that same scoreline. They made an incredible run through the Cup of Harmony to a third placed finish.

And now, a man who never thought he'd be more than an ill-tempered, dour caretaker was now a World Cup-bound manager. From unranked to 65th ranked to pushing out world No. 26 Darmen AND No. 41 Jeruselem and earning their way into the proper for the first time in roughly 30 cycles. Thirty. The last time Sarzonia were in the finals, they had an automatic berth as co-hosts. They were Cup of Harmony-bound in the two previous cycles.

Connelly felt an arm around the top of his back and saw Kevin Wilson as the possessor of said arm. Both veterans of competitions past hugged like they never wanted to let go. The normally gruff Connelly found himself sobbing, but instead of the mournful tears of a man who felt the weight of grief and trying to be an emotional rock when he fell ill-equipped for the task, these tears expressed the joy of overcoming all the adversity and getting the Stars back to the finals.

This was going to be a night of celebration for the players, the coaches, the staff, and for all of Sarzonia. Woodstock Mayor Claudia Alta and President Grant Haffner both announced that all non-essential offices would be closed the next day. Instead of being a preventive measure against a viral pandemic, it would be a celebration of a team the country could rally behind.

Now? The Stars still had their final match at Dazza Dallas Stadium to play, but the pressure to win or go home was gone. Paolo Gomes would get a chance to start, while other hardworking players would get a rest.

One day, Connelly would be able to analyse his place in Stars history, but for right now, he and the Stars would enjoy the fruits of the journey.

Group 7
Competitive Solitaire 2–6 Darmen
Sarzonia 2–0 Aimena
Huayramarca 3–2 Jeruselem
Great Lausitz 3–4 Delaclava
Nephara 2–1 Acronius
Welzat 3–3 Simpralia

   Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Nephara                                      23   20   1   2    83   20  +63    61 Q
 2 Sarzonia                                     23   15   4   4    60   38  +22    49 Q
 3 Jeruselem                                    23   14   2   7    61   40  +21    44
 4 Darmen                                       23   12   6   5    60   40  +20    42 
 5 Acronius                                     23   11   2  10    42   46   −4    35 
 6 Delaclava                                    23    9   6   8    59   59    0    33 
 7 Huayramarca                                  23    8   7   8    46   48   −2    31 
 8 Simpralia                                    23    7   8   8    38   45   −7    29 
 9 Welzat                                       24    6   9   9    35   49  −14    27 
10 Aimena                                       23    7   3  13    24   45  −21    24 
11 South Charlia                                23    5   3  15    25   48  −23    18 
12 Great Lausitz                                23    4   4  15    27   47  −20    16 
13 Competitive Solitaire                        23    3   3  17    20   55  −35    12

SCHEDULE
MD 1: @ Delaclava^ W, 6-4
MD 2: v. Acronius L, 0-2
MD 3: @ Simpralia (Glory Park, capacity 122,000) W, 5-3
MD 4: v. Welzat L, 2-4
MD 5: @ Nephara L, 1-4 (Farham Arena, Sabrefell, capacity 88,046)
MD 6: v. Great Lausitz W, 1-0
MD 7: @ Huayamarca (Estadio Olímpico del Oriente, Sechura, capacity 26,000) W, 4-2
MD 8: BYE
MD 9: v. Competitive Solitaire W, 1-0
MD 10: @ South Charlia W, 2-0
MD 11: v. Darmen D, 2-2
MD 12: @ Aimena W, 2-0
MD 13: v. Jeruselem D, 2-2
OFF DAY
MD 14: v. Delaclava W, 5-3 (game played at Pride of Manchester, capacity 110,000)
MD 15: @ Acronius L, 1-3
MD 16: v. Simpralia D, 3-3
MD 17: @ Welzat W, 3-0 (Sir James Tretol Memorial Stadium, capacity 19,595)
MD 18: v. Nephara W, 1-0
MD 19: @ Great Lausitz W, 5-0
MD 20: v. Huayramarca D, 4-4
MD 21: BYE
MD 22: @ Competitive Solitaire W, 1-0
MD 23: v. South Charlia W, 5-1
MD 24: @ Darmen W, 2-1 (Stadio Rushmore, Johnho, capacity 70,000)
MD 25: v. Aimena W, 2-0
MD 26: @ Jeruselem (Dazza Dallas Stadium)

^Match was played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

Note: Except for the match in Manchester, Delaclava, all of Sarzonia's home matches will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, capacity 105,900.

[Riennic Isles]

The Riena Sentinel

---

Riena 3-0 Vilita
Why dost thou taunteth us so Margaret

---

• Riena: Steiner (34', 71'), Nakiri (47')
• Vilita: None

Riena (4-3-3): Minato; Igarashi, Tsukamoto, Amemiya, Kagura; Sakuranami, Kirimiya, Nakiri; Haneda, Kanzaki, Steiner
Substitutes: Kugimiya, Uruha, Kawakaze (73'), Matsukai (73'), Suenaga (67'), Samukawa, Ayanami

Vilita (3-4-3): Sanamun; Riiyaaw, Tiones, Koranjo; Vlintejni, Davasarii, Kuhilana, Purama; Alabonni, Milaaso, Refiami
Substitutes: Canopii, Trikala, Ajhabekk, Katarakhna (75'), Aquafek (64'), Tarala, Kulakao (50')

[Kita-Hinode]

Hinode sat on the main room's couch, holding his phone close to his right ear. Nearby, Garbodor fluttered behind an uneasy Canvas, who tried her best to give the fellow alien girl a tour of the floor she would live at. Hinode waited as the call started to pick up before a familiar voice started to talk on the phone. "Ah, dear! How are you?" Hinode smiled as the voice settled on his ear. "Hey, mom. I'm fine, I think. And you? How's the whole business going?" The voice sounded a bit more aloof than he would expect from his mother. "Decent. Think we might return a bit richer from this place. Are you handling business well?"

Hinode looked at Canvas holding a pillow to use as a shield while backing away from Garbodor. "I did get two new folks to live here. That's good, right?" She laughed. "If you treat them well, yes." He could hear some background noise coming from the call. "Your father asked if you're treating the kitty well." Hinode looked at the kitty, who by now was laying with her back on the couch, her little horns avoiding the leather of the couch. He gave her a pat to the head before replying. "So far, so good. Although I do feel like this place is getting a bit clustered."

(...)

An oval-shaped machine arrived in the middle of the frozen tundra. It opened to unveil a lady dressed in fighting armour with an azure bodysuit underneath. She had long, messy black hair and a primate-like tail, her skin was fair and her body was well built... and freezing."Brrrrr... W-W-Where did I end up?" She looked around, groaning. "Damn, the ship must've made the wrong turn at this blasted planet's atmosphere." She shook herself off the freeze, sighing. "Damn it... I guess I should boot the ship up and-" She walked back to the ship, only to find it lacked fuel. "FFFFFFFF-"

(...)

"F-f-f-first of all, I-I don't h-hate Garbodor b-b-but..." Canvas stuttered as Hinode was by her side, observing his homework. "You did chuck that pillow at her." Garbodor was nursing a little bump to her head, crying on the corner. "S-She was going through the b-bathroom trash just as I l-left!" The home-owner sighed, shaking his head. "I had asked for her to help me with housework. Also, you do realize that you'll have to help me out soon, right?" Canvas stuttered more, grumbling afterwards. "And before you come up with an excuse, keep in mind that Garbodor herself is a Space Princess and is totally fine with helping me."

"So... Garbodor, feeling fine?" The girl whimpered but nodded. "Bzzzt... y-yeah. It was just the... bzzzt, shock..."

[Appalachian Nation]

The kid smithy had gotten in front of his computer, he clicked a few buttons on his scorinatoer and did some RP Bonueses and "BAM!" he had scores!

Group 1
Northern South 0–1 New Calder
Old Northeast Dolphin 1–0 Lake of the Land

Group 1                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Old Northeast Dolphin                            3   2  0  1    3   1  +2    6
2 Northern South                                   3   1  1  1    1   1   0    4
3 New Calder                                       3   1  1  1    3   4  −1    4
4 Lake of the Land                                 3   0  2  1    2   3  −1    2

Group 2
Paris 1–1 Morgantown
Denmark 0–0 Tennessee

Group 2                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Morgantown                                       3   1  2  0    5   4  +1    5
2 Tennessee                                        3   1  2  0    2   1  +1    5
3 Denmark                                          3   1  1  1    5   3  +2    4
4 Paris                                            3   0  1  2    1   5  −4    1

Group 3
Slavistan 2–1 Western Lands
Astrograff 2–2 Astograff

Group 3                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Slavistan                                        3   3  0  0   14   2 +12    9
2 Western Lands                                    3   0  2  1    3   4  −1    2
3 Astograff                                        3   0  2  1    4   7  −3    2
4 Astrograff                                       3   0  2  1    3  11  −8    2

Group 4
Zeb 3–0 1337l4nd5
Old York 0–1 Beta City

Group 4                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Zeb                                              3   2  0  1    4   1  +3    6
2 Old York                                         3   2  0  1    3   1  +2    6
3 Beta City                                        3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
4 1337l4nd5                                        3   0  0  3    0   6  −6    0

Group 5
Placid Waters 0–1 Peoples Republic of South Baldlands and Rye
Punch Drunk Peeps 0–2 Lextopia and Northwest Carlsbad

Group 5                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Lextopia and Northwest Carlsbad                  3   2  1  0    4   1  +3    7
2 Peoples Republic of South Baldlands and Rye      3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    7
3 Placid Waters                                    3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3
4 Punch Drunk Peeps                                3   0  0  3    0   4  −4    0

Group 6
Ludwigistan 3–0 a million simone di brandi clonez
Redditia 0–0 The Union of Blood Sweat and Tears

Group 6                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Redditia                                         3   2  1  0    3   0  +3    7
2 The Union of Blood Sweat and Tears               3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
3 Ludwigistan                                      3   1  0  2    3   3   0    3
4 a million simone di brandi clonez                3   1  0  2    2   5  −3    3

Group 7
Southwestern Province of Denalia 4–0 shawland
Morristania 0–1 Sportopia

Group 7                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sportopia                                        3   3  0  0    7   1  +6    9
2 Morristania                                      3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
3 Southwestern Province of Denalia                 3   1  0  2    6   5  +1    3
4 shawland                                         3   0  1  2    1   8  −7    1

Group 8
Federation of Federal Peoples 1–4 Mangolia
Pittsvylvania 1–2 The Badlands

Group 8                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mangolia                                         3   2  0  1    5   5   0    6
2 Pittsvylvania                                    3   1  1  1    6   3  +3    4
3 Federation of Federal Peoples                    3   1  1  1    4   5  −1    4
4 The Badlands                                     3   1  0  2    2   4  −2    3

He was fascinated by what had happened in this round of 32, teams he thought would do good like Paris failed hard, a team like a million simone di brandi clonez or a team like shawland managed to score points dispite poor RPing.

So up next was the playoffs, what would happen next?

[Delaclava]

As the Phoenixes move forward, who will rejoin them?

by Danny Wiggens and Bran Okami

Delaclava's World Cup 85 qualification campaign is over. They do have one game left - a home fixture against Huayramarca in Catherina - but they are out of the running, and will finish anywhere from fifth to seventh in the table. Meanwhile, Nephara and Sarzonia have punched their tickets to the World Cup in Farfadillis and nearby Mriin - so the remaining matches are all dead rubbers, all for pride and for want of a strong finish.

Every team has its issues to deal with, but arguably the Phoenixes have had a particularly turbulent campaign. The night of their greatest triumph - a 2-1 victory over Jeruselem in Manchester - Ryan Keating disappeared from the team. Manager Tim Landers hunted down Keating and the truth, and by the time the Phoenixes lined up against Simpralia two matches later, Landers had suspended twelve players and two coaches for misconduct and violation of team rules - namely, partaking in massive orgies with fellow players and fans - and drafted several local Cleopatrana SC players into service. After the 2-2 draw, Landers himself was fired along with the remaining coaching staff.

In the three games since, Delaclava has gone 2-0-1 under the guidance of Catherina FC manager Johannes Detmer and with a new slate of players to replace the disgraced group-lovers. Team leaders like captain Keaton Durbridge and Lukas Meyer have stepped up even more in the absence of their former teammates, and prospects like Artem Kohut have made an immediate impression on the team. This is a team that, even if unchanged, is ready to take on the Cup of Harmony in full force.

But it can't be assumed that the thirteen suspended players, as well as Landers, are done with the national team for good. While team equipment manager Michael DeFrancis faces charges of embezzlement and fraud, consensual group sex is not a crime and it is generally understood that none of the suspended players took part in the misuse of program funds, or any other criminal activities. The wrongdoing was, in the words of the DFA, a "failure to foster a culture of professionalism". Landers, meanwhile, simply got caught behind the curve, both in awareness of the issue and in addressing it with the proper channels, but he certainly had the best intentions.

We take a look at each of the suspended players, including Landers himself, and determine their likelihood of returning to the national team someday, given their level of play as well as their presumed culpability in the scandal at this time. Some players may be back very quickly for the Cup of Harmony, some may not be invited back for a little bit - and some have perhaps seen their last action in a Phoenixes kit.

They'll be back

Pavel Cicak and Rhydian Campbell: These two are simply too skilled to keep on ice for too long. There's still some anger from the DFA and from critics that the Phoenixes could have had a better qualification run if they were more focused on the task at hand, rather than each other, they could have been a real qualification threat. The fact remains that Delaclava exceeded expectations in their return World Cup appearance, and Cicak's speed and aggression at outside back, plus Campbell's physicality and offensive initiative at attacking midfielder, were significant reasons for this.

They did the crime, they paid some time - stop messing around and get them back on the squad.

Brent Ritchie and Zane Davis: Both players grew into increased roles throughout the campaign - particularly Ritchie, who was eventually a starter at defensive midfielder - and their saving graces are mainly that the Phoenixes do not have a lot of great defensive options in the pool. Luke Lemieux and Keghart Nazaretian are simply not international material at the moment, and until they find their bearings, they need more experienced players to take the load off. Meanwhile, Chris Lang continues to backslide in the rotation, and Pau Pan and Carlos Berrera are still raw and unproven. Ritchie and Davis are viable options now, and presumably Detmer keeps a tighter leash than his predecessor. There shouldn't be any problems here.

Gone for now

Ryan Keating: Lost amid the drama of Keating's resignation with the team, and subsequent revelations that he was pressured and perhaps blackmailed into extracurricular activities - is the fact that Keating committed the same violations as many of his teammates. While his status is murkier given his resignation, he would not seem to have a clear path back to the national team even if he made himself available once again. His unfortunate position as a reluctant participant may be a saving grace, but at some point Keating was complicit in the same events antithetical to a winning Delaclav culture.

Which brings us to his current form - as of the last time we saw him play, it was not good enough to justify raising any trouble now. Keating is still just 27 and has developed rapidly in the past couple of years, stepping into a leadership role on Cleopatrana SC. If he can find the desire to play again and turn in the stellar play that led his team to the league title last season, there's no reason to think he couldn't be trusted to rejoin the national team eventually.

Josh Torres: Like Keating, Torres began his national team tenure as a starter and was eventually phased out of the lineup just a few matches into qualifying. There's not necessarily a huge rush to bring him back. But Delaclava does not have a lot of defensive talent, as discussed up above with regard to Davis and Ritchie, and Torres, at only 24, has plenty of time to become a viable option once again. At just 5-foot-8 and 150 pounds, Torres has a lot to learn about how to detail with more physical offensive players - but that has always been a challenge for him, and he's gone leaps and bounds in each of the past few seasons. Torres will almost certainly be back soon, and better than ever.

Jesse Bates: Bates worked his way from no playing time at the beginning of qualifiers to becoming a reliable spark plug at the end of games - mixing it up, getting physical, and creating enough chaos to generate fresh offensive opportunities. But in reality, the talent pool at midfield is simply too crowded - and may be even more busy if Meyer and Dathan Ingram routinely see midfield action in Detmer's tactics. Bates is still just 23, one of many players who still have many years of development and quality football left. It's hard to imagine Bates wouldn't make his way back someday.

Donato Girardi: A tough one to consider here. How do you look at someone like Girardi, the vice captain, a consummate field general, a player who was always calm and composed beyond his years and experience against the toughest opposition, has elite-level on-the-ball and distribution skills, and continues to develop in the Nepharan leagues, by ranking the best association in the world - and not get them back on the squad as soon as possible?

Well, "vice captain" is the sticking point here. Girardi was in fact the de facto captain in the early stages of this team's progress, and even in his "demoted" role, he was still counted on to keep the team in line, both on and off the field. As the highest "ranking" participant in the team orgies - captain Keaton Durbridge was never involved - he not only failed to fulfill his role in a very fundamental way, he used his position acted as a diplomat/host of sorts for festivities, reports indicate.

When you're trusted with that level of responsibility by your teammates and coaching staff, and you fail them, as well as your supporters - the path to forgiveness gets a lot longer and a lot more convoluted. Girardi is too good to never see action again - especially over what equates to messing around after dark - but the wounds of the broken trust may take a bit longer to heal before Girardi sees his next callup.

Gone for good

Jared Thompson: Thompson is 39 years old, and with the passage of time he arguably falls further and further behind George Ross and the rest of the goalkeepers in the player pool. Not to mention that reports indicate he was primarily responsible for creating a hostile, even emotionally abusive, environment for Keating, which ultimately caused his desertion. After these revelations, as well as the possibility of blackmail charges being raised, the Delaclava Premier League took the additional step of suspending him indefinitely from the league. Thompson got his chance off of his experience on the Verceolan team, but his time was already running out and he's now been a big factor in creating this mess the team is still cleaning up. This is a no-brainer: Thompson is done.

Gunnar Sash and Quentin Bard: The two midfielders were selected to join the team for qualification, but they have seen little of the field and did not make the impact that some of their teammates achieved. Sash is only 33 to Bard's 35, but time is not doing them any favors, and there are simply too many good options at midfield as it is. The best case scenario for these two? They're just not worth the trouble to bring back. More realistically, they had their shot and the program has now passed them by.

Ryan Walters and Declan Mullins: This is a very close call. Unlike their fellow Verceolans, Walters and Mullins got into the starting lineup semi-regularly, had an enormous impact on the team - Mullins with four goals and six assists, Walters with two goals and five assists - and undoubtedly were a catalyst in turning around Delaclava's fortunes in the middle of qualifying, to the point where the Phoenixes were still within sniffing distance of qualification with a handful of matches to go. If either were asked back for the Cup of Harmony, or even for other tournaments down the road, both men could have some good football left in their legs.

But there's simply too much against them on the road to redemption. Walters is 38 years old and is the more vigorous of the two - Mullins a bit slower at 36. All the Verceolans were under the microscope when they first joined, with pundits wondering if they would be a good blend for the team. Their actions arguably proved the doubters right. And with prospects like Kohut and Erik Hovhannisyan, the stardom of Meyer, and the continuing emergence of mainstays like Ingram, Dashaun Howard, and Alexei Gusev, Walters and Mullins could have only held them off for so long.

With all of that riding against the Verceolan forwards, they couldn't afford to lose the inside track on a role with the team - but they did lose it in a very humiliating manner. The available options at forward are incredible - and except for 24-year-old Gusev, not a single one is older than 20. Walters and Mullins put in some good on the field while it lasted, but their services are no longer needed.

Tim Landers: This is a sad one to write. Landers was an incredible force of good for this team in its inception, the program has grown immensely under his guidance, and he practically got ambushed by his own governing body when he was alerted to a problem. We do hope that someday he is looked upon more favorably than he is now.

But here's the problem - improbable as the specific circumstances were, Landers still had so little control of his team off the pitch that they were able to do whatever - and whomever - they wanted. It is almost beyond belief that a plane of 340 Quebecois flew to Manchester just to take part in a celebratory orgy and Landers didn't hear a peep about it. Landers can't keep his players on lockdown all the time, but there needs to be a clear understanding of the expectations - that way half his team isn't sleeping around with a thousand people the night after a game and the night before they have to fly to another country for a game.

We think Landers will be absolved of blame in this scenario, and the suspension itself will be lifted. But to think the DFA will someday ask him to take on the team again and implement a system of accountability when he so spectacularly failed at it the first time - that's a step too far for us to imagine. Even if an orgy ring is unlikely to take place ever again, Landers didn't indicate that he'd be able to rein his team in regarding other situations.

Landers will likely return to Steckholl United, continue to put up an impressive record with the club, and still be remembered as the first manager and architect of the new Delaclav football team. He will likely have to settle for that legacy.

Great Lausitz 3-4 Delaclava

DEL, Durbridge (pen) 10'. DEL, Kohut (Meyer, Lemieux) 21'. GLS, ** (**, **) 34'. DEL, Meyer (Ingram, Howard) 45'. GLS, ** (**, **) 52'. DEL, Howard (Kohut, Durbridge) 54'. GLS, ** (**), 90+3'.

DEL - Ross; Lemieux, Nazaretian, V. Gusev, Joseph; Ingram, Albert, Meyer (Zaitsev 74'), Durbridge; Howard (Rogers 74'), Kohut (A. Gusev 74').

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Today in your new favourite magazine we continue our new series for those unfamiliar with pitxi in Tequilo by looking at some of the biggest teams in the country. Rumour that these features are prepatory material for the new IFCF-focused blog are completely wide of the mark of course; they are here to help followers of the World Cup navigate the ins and outs of domestic football that underpins the new World Cup campaign.

In this series, we go state by state to look at the teams in that region that qualify for the nomination of 10-Nacional; that is to say, the top ten teams in the country based on the number of state championships won. In this edition we look at Antivador State, where they proudly hold the most Big Ten members - and don’t we all know about it: there is nothing the Antivadorio love more than to remind the rest of us how much better they are. And in pitxi, perhaps they are - here we look at their big three; Atlás Ciuredor, Real Gardaresso and Florentino, while Juventoyan and Humberto just miss out.

But first - what happened to Los Pitxileros in World Cup qualifying? Let’s fire up the Copametro to find out…

Hang on a minute, we seem to have a problem with Copametro… It’s a bye day - ed.

---

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
What ever happened to Xürnô Tzâmbá?

---

If Adé Fredu was the prime exemplar of unfulfilled potential, a teenage prodigy who rapidly faded to mediocrity and then to nobody, then Xürnô Tzâmbá is the future king who never was - like never; never in the first place. Like, he was always the nobody but it took a lot of people a long time to realise. A fifteen year old Farvo-Teq mixed heritage kid at Cáfunda, a junior club in Ibaeta, Puezan, he was really just there making up the numbers, although he was impressive in size. But a glitch in a programmer’s computer - probably one of Guillermo Puertas’ special machines - or a sleepy finger on a data entry late night shift, created a phenomenon that poor average - below average really - Xürnô could not escape: even to this day, since we are still talking about it. On the database-driven cult computer game Entrenador Pitxi (season 102 release), commonly EP102, a football management strategy game, Xürnô was launched into the stratosphere with some crazy statistics. Players quickly realised if they signed the Cáfunda youth product right at the beginning of the game for a measly ¢250, he would lead their team to unrivalled glory for two decades in-game; he was unstoppable. Or they could sell him for ¢55m two seasons later, and build another team out of the proceeds - although no-one ever did that. Boring. With the virtual young Xürnô dominating releases 102, 103 and 104, players were eager to see the real thing in action, and the story of this wonderkid at Cáf blossomed. Scouts who used the database were quick to latch on, and one day, aged only 16, CF Frankzixko-A, the biggest and best in Tequilo, came in for him. The offer was astronomical. The manager at the time, one Justi Udarondo, later recalled telling the chairman of Cáf this was the chance to sell high and build another team out of the proceeds. But no-one ever does that… the chairman wanted to hold out for 10% more than CF had offered, and they told him to do one. Xürnô was so upset that he’d missed his chance, he quit the team. Justi Udaronda said later that was no bad thing - he really wasn’t much use. A free agent, Xürnô went to CF for a trial and was photographed holding the famous golden shirt of the club. But maybe the trial didn’t go so well. The contract wasn’t forthcoming. Xürnô trialled at a couple more big clubs but word was out in professional circles - he wasn’t the same Xürnô Tzâmbá from EP. He was just some kid with a dream and two left feet. The last we heard, he was a dustman in Ibaeta, doing the odd interview about how he could have been a contender. But he really couldn’t. He wasn’t the world beater from Entrenador Pitxi-102. He was just a dustman from Ibaeta.

---

10-NACIONAL
Part 6/6 - Antivador

---

The state of Antivador is in fact not part of the Tequiloan mainland but a large separate island and a series of archipelagos within the Golfo de Tequílo, and in mentality as well as geography has always considered itself apart from the rest of the country - an attitude which is perceived across the rest of the country as rather arrogant and snobbish. While the Puezaños are a very independently-minded lot and quite different from the rest of the union, willing and patriotic members of the alliance, deeply involved in the foundation and unification of the country and to be found active in all forms of national life, the Antivadorio prefer not to dirty their hands in the affairs of the nation. It is remarkable that they willingly joined the union in the first place - and remain - when they consider themselves a country apart, and in all ways superior to ‘the rest’. And yet at the heart of it they know their economy is stronger for the union and tolerate their membership because of it. A populous main island with several large cities including the capital Lipa, it certainly is distinct, with a more cosmopolitan feel to it and the most attractive part of the nation for visitors. The island has a minority Índigo tribe, the Uiaiey, who were largely an early subsistence bartering tribe that did not establish city states and empire like the Ixta, Huayna and Xico peoples, and therefore when the Costelloan settlements occurred they integrated more quickly and are today less populous.

ATLÁS CIUREDOR
Antivador State Champions: 16 times; most recent season 121 (two seasons ago)
Copa Tequila Winners: 2 times; most recent season 75 (47 years ago) including one double
Stadium: Estadio Atlás, Ciuredor
Capacity: 68,350
Nicknames: Atlás, Los Aros - The Hoops
Colours: Red & black hooped shirts, white shorts & socks
Alternate: All green
Current Manager: Xerman Figueredo, 54
Team Captain: Venantzio Urioste, 34, DR
Young Prospect: Tomás de Raya,16, MR

Antivador has more than it’s fair share of glamour clubs - but the most successful Antivadorio club isn’t one of them. An antidote to the glitz and glamour of football in general in the state, Atlás Ciuredor are the ‘spit and sawdust’ sleeves-rolled-up no-nonsense grafters (and other working class stereotypes) who get things done and have won more than their fare share of state titles. More even than perhaps two of the most well known Antivadorio clubs across the Wide Enness Ocean - your Real Gardaresso and Florentino wonderclubs. Do Atlás have a chip on their shoulder? Not a bit of it - they love being the unfancied and stoic workhorses that frequently upstage the fancy-pants neighbours.

The Hoops under experienced Guasto’ manager Xerman Figueredo are back at their best after emerging from a 20-year drought, winning a sixteenth title two seasons ago to put them at the top of the tree in Antivador, and finishing runner-up last season. Strong all across the team and well capable of delivering on Xerman’s famous ‘Variaciones’ tactics focused on switching and shuffling styles to keep one step ahead of the opposition, and have a particularly potent forward three including Tamarindian advanced midfielder Salazar Girao and Uiaieyan star striker Oueaiei Eld'end'rild; he is one of six Uiaieyan indigenes in the squad, and though he has yet to comment, those around him and fans of the club are disappointed the gifted assassin striker has yet to get a call up to the new national team - but it surely cannot be far off now. Atlás go into the new season with confidence and will be expecting to compete all the way to the end for the national title.

First Team

Goalkeepers: Cosme Peres, Felipe de Anglada, Nofre de Çulvaga
Defenders: Iyooi Ar-bel-thrir, Alsonso Patyño, Aleixo Borrell, Venantzio Urioste, Aiayia V-shy'ui, Oscar Rivera, Fru Mbala, Oiaeonnrych L-ia-dont, José Tavia (TAM)
Midfielders: Auoua Hin'ild-whu, Teo Montemayor, Salazar Girao (TAM), Martin Colon, Almeyque Llorens, Borredan de Tobar, Varo Arbacegui, Tomás de Raya, Jaime de Joara
Forwards: Gavriel de Astudillo, Oueaiei Eld'end'rild, Abram Fraga, Iooiee Niall-den'ia

REAL GARDARESSO
Antivador State Champions: 15 times; most recent season 122 (last season - holders)
Copa Tequila Winners: Once; season 66 (56 years ago)
Stadium: Palacios de Cristal, Gardaresso
Capacity: 81,800
Nicknames: Los Vidrieros - The Glaziers
Colours: Dark burgundy shirts, white shorts, dark green socks
Alternate: All dark blue with dark green trim
Current Manager: Ferrando Clemente, 65
Team Captain: Raimi Dokunanga, 35, ST
Young Prospect: Manuel Cañero, 18, ST

Alright, lets talk glamour now - Real Gardaresso practically invented the concept. The oldest team in Antivador, they are the biggest and best supported club on the islands, and play at the largest domestic stadium in Tequilo. The Crystal Palace, Real’s fortress so named for the large amount of fancy glass used in renovating the stadium which effectively hides a multitude of sins underneath - the old stadium was a vast and shambolic edifice which really hasn’t been renovated so much as camouflaged. Still, it looks great, sounds great, and vibrates on a terrifying frequency if half the ground are jumping up and down - something Real’s ultras enjoy doing to frighten the bejesu out of visiting supporters. Nicknamed the Glaziers after their ground, Real probably have not won as many titles as they might have expected, since the state championship is one of the most competitive. And yet this grand old team is still one of the most famous across the whole of the Wide Enness Ocean.

A decade ago the club brought in the Chazapanõ coaching duo of Ferrando Clemente and Pueyo Penyaforte to shake Real out of the doldrums they had been experiencing and the former Pitxi-Pitxi 77 management team proved their worth in what was one of the most high-profile moves of the day - they had just led the 77os to a famous state championship and Copa Tequilo double and had delivered four titles in the past ten years - no-one thought they would jump ship and yet Real managed to prose them away. It worked wonders - they won the state championship the very next season and have gone on to win two more titles, the most recent last season. But that completely rebuilt team of ten years ago that has brought so much joy is probably in need of fresh impetus - yes, they won the title again last season, but the coaches are bringing in new blood alongside them as reinforcements. Some of those are there and coming on nicely - defender Ruy de Tordesillas, 21, midfielder Stvrk Npchghaeao, 22, and striker Manuel Cañero, 18 among them. And of course there is outstanding national team defender Antón Lascares, also 22. If anyone knows how to blend youth and experience, it is the Chazapaño duo heading mighty Real - and no-one in their right mind would write them off for another state win and potentially the first national title.

First Team

Goalkeepers: Froitoso Bellón, Nadal Çapata
Defenders: Antón Lascares, Ruy de Tordesillas, Juancho de Oñate, Brandon Nyassa, Braçayda de Marchena, Ochoa Abril, Bicençio Coll, Diogo Paz de Assunção (IPA)
Midfielders: Menaute de Torres, Arximiro Valdovinos, Perucho Damian, Stvrk Npchghaeao, Aristofanes Zabalotegui, Perico Santos, Ramonet Navaro, Patro de Tovar, Nicolas Cano
Forwards: Raimi Dokunanga, Manuel Cañero, Alfonso Garnica, Clodio Arceo, Irrintzi Echevarriagaray, lrs Er-qua-or

FLORENTINO
Antivador State Champions: 15 times; most recent season 117 (five seasons ago)
Copa Tequila Winners: 3 times; most recent season 36 (86 years ago)
Stadium: Estadio Gianfrancesco Lego (Villa Lego), Florenio
Capacity: 47,980
Nicknames: Los Violetas
Colours: Violet shirts, shorts & socks
Alternate: Red & white halved shirts, white shorts, black socks
Current Manager: Aueioeay W'ight-a, 55
Team Captain: Dieguito Florentin, 31, DR
Young Prospect: Alex Gallo, 17, ST

Sticking with the glamour theme, there really is only one team in all Tequilo who do not stand in the sparkling shadow of Real Gardaresso, and that is their Antivadorio rivals, Florenio, the famous Violets. They may not have the wider appeal that Real have achieved but certainly a club with flair and attacking creativity at the heart of their playing philosophy over so many decades of success means Los Violetas are naturally associated with the more glamorous side of the game. Many of the greats of antiquity have played here in Florentin, including legendary fatty, footballer, circus strongman and cinema superstar Humberto Bustamante, El Lechero or ‘The Milkman’; Wightling World Cup winners Mardellion Hummingbird and Marriner Friend-Forsaken along with fellow countryman and progenitor of the famous Bonesea Jones’ dynasty - Asbo Jones; local legends here in these parts Hernando de la Nata, Gavriel Carrión and Sansón, and of course El Ladrillo - The Brick - colourful defender Gianfrancesco Lego, the first galloping fullback for whom the stadium is named.

In the last few season Los Violetas have seen Atlás and Real slip past them as the top team, by titles, in Antivador, and have made the bold move this season to hire Indigene manager Aueioeay W'ight-a, plucked from modest beginnings in management as the long-time coach at second-tier Edicto de Fe in Lipa city; where he achieved remarkable success on a shoestring stabilising a notoriously poor team - though no doubt he is good at that job, the fans of Florentino have to wonder what that says about a team presently lacking in flair, that failed to get a single player into the new national team, and apparently wants to save money for new infrastructure. Is there a crisis approaching for Florentino? Or can Aueioeay W'ight-a win hearts and minds, and turn back on the glamour switch that was flipped to the ‘off’ position shortly after Los Violetas reached the top of the Antivador Big 10, with their fifteenth title win five years ago?

First Team

Goalkeepers: Cornieles de Gareta, Arnao Roche, Marko Zuazo
Defenders: Salazar de Alagon, Leon Carreño, Antton Machinena, Dieguito Florentin, Enrrique de Çigales, Fiz Goyanes, Frenando Escalera, Sabastian Sebastian
Midfielders: Fabian Pineiro, Altar de Alcala, Clemenzo Cora, Qrzm Nogh'ild'aq, Ruberte Castellano, Xaime Medal, Tome Sarabia, Beltrané de Xerez, Felipe Gutiérrez
Forwards: Julio Velázquez, Martí Calderón, Christian Duque, Pedro de Soria, Alex Gallo

RÚI de Los ROVAS
Rúi Raza & the family company are back!

---

Read on for the final episode of the season of the new Rúi de Los Rovas comic strip, reviving 125-year old Rúi and his family for a new set of adventures. In this season cliffhanger - Rúi confronts Great Uncle Alan Shearer for interfering in young Rodi Raza-Shearer’s career at Blackburn Rovers; Roni visits his dad Roque in hospital as he recovers from the attempt on his life, and Rita is in Manhattan - coincidentally where the peace summit to avoid war between Russia and Monaco is happening - to meet with American-based client David Beckham, to see if his new team Inter Miami are interested in the many players on the books of the Raza Agency. But David may have other things on his mind, and with his infamously miserable wife Posh off in England for an interview with Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, will Rita be tempted by naughty David’s inappropriate attentions?

---

NEXT TIME
What’s Up In The Next Issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!

---

Coming soon - In the next edition of your favourite long read, we finish World Cup qualifying with a round-up of the best of Class of ’72 - the BoF rivals are pitted head to head in the final analysis. Plus, we report back from the agave-blues final match in Quakmybush and ask, just who is the Tequiloan player of the cycle?

[Sharktail]

Group 5 matchday 25

Sharktail-8
Hadi(m '4),Batuil(m '19),Yusri(m '40,70)
Gaby(m '45,72)Azmer(m '62),Shakir(m '89)

Line up
Maxter
Batuil
Azmi (sub m 68)
Yusri
Irfan
Chandra
Badhri
Azmer
Hadi
Gaby (sub m 80)
Shakir

Sub
Salaman (m 68)
Virman (m 80)

---

Adsuri-1
Adsuri striker (m '51)

Hello and good morning guys. How are you today? Hope you all fine.Welcome back to Nazri TV. Today is the special episode since this will be the last time we streaming for the world cup qualification. So for the special today, I not alone. With me today is Miss Fira Davies.

F: Hello guys, thank you for welcoming me today.

N: Yes we will not stream for too long today. So Fira anything you want to say first?

F: Ok. So firstly once again thank you for inviting me again today. I am happy to see you guys again. So today is the last stream Nazri will do in qualifying campaign. Hope you all enjoy today streaming.

N: A short one from my angel.hahaha.Ok sorry sorry. But you know I will miss the time I teasing you. You are cute when you angry.

F: Just focus on your streaming, you always thinking about nothing except your perverted thing.

N: Hahaha, ok ok. So firstly I also want to say thank you for all your support you give to me. From the first time I start streaming, you keep giving me hope. I have faced a lot of situation, working for tv station, the problem with money, getting caught trying to sneak to Adsuri stadium. If I recall back maybe I a bit crazy in the past. What do you think about me Fira?

F: You.The perverted crazy guys who like to tease a girl.

N: You know sometimes her word really deep to my heart but no matter how deep it is, still my love will be more deeply in your heart.

F: Oh please. I can't take it anymore. I think I going to throw up.

N: Ok seem like her face gotten red. Ok, let continue. I also want to say my gratitude to all who help me, SFA, all the staff and also for all the player. They are really friendly. Even I, not a popular and famous interviewer, but they still are kind to me. It like I just talking to my friend. Thank you for all of you. Fira do you have anything to add.

F: I think I don't have anything to say. But they are a message from me for all the Sharktail Fans. Thank you for always standing with this team, no matter where we play, who we facing, what the result is, you always there for this team. Maybe you have done something bad but not all of you do it. In the future, I hope you all can discipline yourself. I from SFA behalf want to say we really grateful with all your support.

N: Ok I think that all for today. So my last word to Baker Park and Zwangzug, 4 matches facing this two in group 5, we not even have a chance to grab any point and lose all the match, so go to World Cup Final and be aggressive like what you have done in Group 5. You two are the monster. But they will be more monster in World Cup Final. Anyway good luck. Ok that all from us today. If our National team got invited as one team in Cup Of Harmony, I will be there with you all. And of course with my lovely little angle. Hahaha.

F: I will be there but not with this pervert.

N: (low voice" don't worry, I will be there with her, hahaha").Ok, guys see you again next time.bye.

---

Group 5 Matchday 26 VS Vakolicci Haven and Celeria

[Sylestone]

Sylestone Appliances Team Overview and Dirty Tactics
Sylestone are currently well and truly in last place in Group Four with only a solitary game to go, of which they must win if they are to have any chance of coming twelfth. They are a side consisting entirely of Appliances and Household Furniture, but their surprise side hasn’t played the way they were expected to in the WC 85 qualifiers. With only one game left, against ladder-leaders Taeshan, a win, or even a draw, will show to the world what they are capable of. All they are currently known for is their easybeat status and their dirty tactics.

Brick Wall
About: The Brick Wall is quite literally a Brick Wall in the goals, stopping almost every shot. However, his dimensions are far off the dimensions of a soccer goal, so goals still go in as he shuffled around.
Dirty Tactics: Ramming into the occasional striker who dribbles the ball towards him instead of just shooting.

Ironing Board
About: The Ironing Board is well known across Sylestone for his brilliant defence and his ability to stop almost every dribbling striker in their tracks.
Dirty Tactics: Used his flexible legs to stop the ball from passing through the defence and uses his iron to warn off opposing strikers with its heat.

Dishwasher
About: The Dishwasher is an interesting character in the Sylestonean defence. His large body stops a lot of balls from going into the goalmouth.
Dirty Tactics: Speed water everywhere in the defence, especially in the second half, which bogs the playing field, stopping many offensive moves in their tracks.

Tumble Dryer
About: One of Sylestone’s main two strikers, the Tumble Dryer is a brilliant but inaccurate goal scorer for the Sylestonean side. One to watch.
Dirty Tactics: Spins the ball around in his Dryer and flings it at the goal. Also shuts the machine and carries the ball inside it.

Washing Machine
About: Another large sentient object in the defence, the Washing Machine is once again, another player who stops many offensives with his large body.
Dirty Tactics: Is basically a combination of the Dishwasher and Tumble Dryer. Spews water everywhere and flings the ball out of himself at odd angles.

Sofa
About: Sylestone's defence is full of their largest sentient athletes and the Sofa is the largest of them. His defence has been the best all tournament and he runs the back line. A lot will be reliant on him if Sylestone are to get a respectable result against Taeshan.
Dirty Tactics: Can speak into the minds of opposition, giving them a feeling of wanting to sit down and relax.

Fridge:
About: Another large object, but this time it is located in Sylestone's midfield. He is the king of dirty tactics and runs opponents down with his buff body. Easily the most laughable of all of the Sylestonean Appliances.
Dirty Tactics: Has many of them, most of which can't be named. His main one is shutting his door and running towards the goal with the ball inside. Others include his super-appliance jumping skills and cold breath.

Bar Stool
About: If the Fridge is the dirtiest, the Bar Stool is the cheekiest. He doesn't have any of his own dirty tactics, but he "allies" with another object and uses them to perform his own. Definitely an unpredictable character and one to watch out for.
Dirty Tactics: One of his tactics is to be the one who kicks the ball inside the Fridge when he goes off on his run. He also stands on other objects to reach high balls.

Drawer
About: One of Sylestone's lesser defenders, the Drawer is quite a stationary object in the defence. He stands in your road and doesn't let you past and is more of a sweeper. Still, a force to be reckoned with, though.
Dirty Tactics: Keeps the ball in one of his chests when they are doing well so the opposition has a lesser chance of scoring.

Stove:
About: I always thought a Stove without pots and pans wouls be useless, but it isn't so. This stove has a couple of sneaky tricks up his sleeve and is certainly one of the Sylestonean players the opposition midfielders need to deal with sooner rather than later.
Dirty Tactics; Mkes the air really hot around him, as opposed to the Fridge.

Mixer
About: Arguably Sylestone's most valuable player, the Mixer is a star dribbler and striker. His goal scoring ratio isn't so great and that is mainly the Tumble Dryer's job, but he is the one that actually gets the ball to that point. However, he is quite unpredictable and sometimes his dribbling skills go horribly wrong, especially considering the ball is about the size of his body.
Dirty Tactics:
Weaves in and out of defenders with his tiny size and amazing dribbling skills. Gets unplugged a bit too often, though.

[The Sarian]

De Telegraaf Sport presents...

ON LEFT FLANK
The rolling Football blog

The Sarian take their fight to the final day
Stefan Struik, Football Writer

The longest World Cup qualifying campaign in history will come to an end tomorrow at De Stadionnational. And, remarkably, The Sarian are amongst four Group Three sides still fighting for their place in the competition.

For all four sides, their fate isn't entirely in their own hands. The Sarian's opponents, Terre Septentrionale, currently occupy the final qualification spot with Eshan behind on goal difference. Savojarna lay just one win behind the pair, joined by The Sarian. Both of the later pair currently have a superior goal difference, which could prove crucial: if either wish to qualify, they must hope that Eshan lose at home to Adyatin and then exceed each other's scores. If the scores are equal, The Sarian will qualify on account of their head-to-head record against Savojarna. Terre Septentrionale would qualify with a win over The Sarian, unless Eshan produce a large victory against Adyatin. Eshan would also qualify with just a draw if The Sarian defeat Terre Septentrionale.

Whilst the list of possible scenarios seem complicated, for The Sarian this presents a remarkable turnaround. Four matches ago, this paper declared that the Saari qualification campaign was dead. The proclamation was made after a brief stint in second place - largely a product of conjecture on account of playing one more game than opponents - the Bustards had won just one game of five. Whilst the four-one drubbing away at Eura was a painful reminder that the side wasn't yet ready for prime-time, it was defeats to Eshan and Alba and Cymru which were the most painful. Both were eminently winnable games - and were built up as such. But as we have painfully learned: the Saari team does not cope well with expectations. But a last-minute draw against a resurgent Chromatika and impressive defensive displays against Sabalonia and Savojarna have seen the side go into the final match day with a path, albeit narrow, to qualifying.

But that article could still come eerily true. The same structural issues present in the Saari set-up remain. And as I said earlier, The Sarian team has so-far seemed incapable of dealing with even the smallest amount of pressure. To add salt to the wound, a loss could still see the side move down to seventh place if results elsewhere go against them. There should also be no reasonable expectation that The Sarian should beat Terre Septentrionale. Yes, The Sarian have home advantage. But Terre Septentrionale have a better rank, better form, a better record and beat The Sarian earlier in the qualifying campaign. And even if The Sarian do beat Terre Septentrionale, they will be relying on eleventh placed Adyatin to defeat Eshan. And on Savojarna to either drop points to Chromatika or win by a margin less than or equal to The Sarain victory over Terre Septentrionale. In short, it's a big ask which requires three games to go exactly in our favour if we're to qualify.

Still, to take the fight down to the last day shows real strength of character for The Sarian. I'm not going to pretend that there isn't huge problems in the National Team set-up. There is. And if The Sarian hadn't dropped even a couple of the breathtaking fifteen points lost against opponents ranked less than 200 in the world rankings, we simply would not be reliant on the stars aligning to get where we want to go. But that's football. And even if The Sarian get humiliated at Terre Septentrionale and finish in seventh place, no-one can take away just how frustratingly amazing it has been to cover this marathon of a qualification campaign. We've laughed, cried, cheered and jeered. Made heroes and then villainized them three days later. And we made the national team manager go on a several minute long sweary rant. Whatever happens, no-one can take that away from us. Thank you for following this coverage every step of the way; who knows where we'll end up next?

Line-up versus Terre Septentrionale (4-1-4-1 DM): Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz (c), Henri Brejzun, Ceutiz Maazden / Winona Tolbert / Wictor Buul, Jodi Lauri, Luc Bisop, Maeri Beniut / Wera Pauwelz

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

How Adsuri(last place) be feeling drawing Baker Park, MD23

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Bongo Johnson 1 – 1 Baggieland FT (1 – 0 HT)

Baggieland rescued a point away to Bongo Johnson in the penultimate game. The Bongos had claimed an early lead in the first half when Moore and McAuley got in each others’ way in the centre of defence. Regis, on good form after his two goals in the last game, had a good chance to level midway through the half, but their keeper pulled off a good save. In the second half, Bongo had most of the early stages and threatened the Baggielandian goal on a number of occasions, but they couldn’t add a second. As the game wore on, and with the Bongonese believing they had done enough for the three points, who else but Richardson popped up and from an unassuming attack, levelled the scores.

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Jeff Richardson: (78’).

Possession: 48%.
Corners: 5.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 12.
Ronnie Regis: 7.
Bomber Robson: 6.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Ray Brunt: 3.
Jonas McAuley: 2.
Laurie Bassett: 1.
Len Livermore: 1.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 18.
Ronnie Regis: 9.
Bomber Robson: 7.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Ray Brunt: 5.
Jonas McAuley: 4.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Laurie Bassett: 1.
Len Livermore: 1.
Chris Barlow: 1.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

[Ko-oren]

OOC: 'green' politics means being in favour of a meritocratic, centralised, Gehrennan/native Ko-orenite government, with power taken away from subdivisions. 'Blue' politics refers to a more democratic government in favour of devolution, with equal representation for native languages and foreign ones.

Subdivisional Logos

The 12 subdivisional governments have announced their new logos for the upcoming government era. Local colours, combined with local industries or landscapes have been put in Ko-orenite fractal floral designs, for a perfect blend of everything traditional, modern, official, and recognisable.

Aerellen

As one of six (politically) 'blue' subdivisions, Aerellen's local black and gray are paired with the blue in a gorgeous fractal design. Less of a flowery look (because those are hard to come by in the frigid north), and with a business-like font, this logo represents Aerellen like nothing else.

Côte Austral

Another blue subdivision, Côte Austral have gone with a more Westernised look over a fractal one, but the floral element is still clear. Côte Austral's reliance on the Bay of Ko-oren is also clear, and simplicity is the way to go for the region for the time being.

Finisterre

Local pride is always easy to find in Finisterre, and so the logo has to have something local as well. One of very few places to use red hues as traditional colours, the red is paired with the green of their historical political leanings. The atomic look represents their newfound place in Ko-oren's economy, as an energy supplier, with the yellow in the middle representing the desert - and more of Finisterre's colours.

Gehrenna

Named after the original seat of government - but not actually having the city of Gehrenna in its borders, Gehrenna has gone with a green design as they always have - a 'green' subdivision at heart with its roots lying in the traditional capital cities. The centrepiece, a bright green dot, signifies Gehrenna's location - dead centre on the mainland.

Intermare

Intermare have gone with a less traditional design. The ring around the tulip itself not only represents its blue political leaning, but also hints at the place's name: surrounded (between) seas. The tulip is a clear hint to the Batavophone population. Less of a statement of where Intermare is headed in the next era, but clear symbolism for what Intermare already is.

Mawryshire

Mawryshire, like Finisterre, is appointed as electric location, harvesting its famous winds instead. This is the only logo that consists of two different parts, one for the mainland, and one for the many islands that make up a third of its land surface.

Mayara

There it is - Mayara! The subdivision of our capital cities, still looked at for cultural and political guidance, tries to reconcile green and blue opinions in one logo - a growing plant, a symbol of great things to come - while surrounded by 12 petals in green and blue, one for each subdivision that surrounds it. Mayara is a 'green' subdivision by itself, but needs to adapt to both sides of the discussion to keep this country together, as it has done for the last several centuries.

Poolrugge

Also known as Nordoren, Poolrugge is much like Aerellen. Cold, mountainous, and with very few flowers, the logo shows a flower struggling to bloom among icy colours inside a drop of water, which are probably the two most striking things about Poolrugge's landscape. Still, the flower manages to show its colours - and immediately makes its surroundings more beautiful and complete.

Sudaefjoll

The next stop is Sudaefjoll, appointed as the tech hub of Ko-oren with its advanced university campuses, and the circuitboard-like design reflects that. Another blue and green logo, Sudaefjoll is politcally blue but has leaned far further to the green in recent history. Also, its ambitions lie beyond political leaning, hoping to give Ko-oren a new golden age in technology.

Surbourneshire

Our most populated subdivision, Surbourneshire is comprised of four cultural areas: the East, with its savannah-like plains and hills known for mining. The West, the nation's breadbasket. Then there is Burnet island, not hugely populated but of great influence on Surbourneshire's development across history. The fourth area is Greencaster, the country's largest city. The logo nods to all four areas as being distinct, but can only make up a beautiful flower together.

West Strand Riding

This logo is basically its geography in three parts - the green south, the mountainous east, and the blue waters and skies that are ever-present. Technically a green state, yet blue politics might have better represented it in the past.

Yoshima

Not green or blue - Yoshima is red. Not communist, mind you, but culturally distinct, geographically separated, and Yoshima wants you to know. The lotus-like design lies within its own bubble, hinting at further autonomy for the region - if the national government wants to go that far.

---

Oh yeah, that's right, Fantasy is almost coming to a close! These are the standings, one day before it's all over - and we've got an 'upset'! Quebec was close behind in 2nd... but have fallen down to 6th as the WCQ finishes up. Terre Septentrionale has shot up to first place instead - by a single point!

T. Septentrionale	711
Ko-oren	710
Eternal Empire	705
Twicetagria	695
Mavinet	694

[HUElavia]

HUElavia's Forward Trio Sends Los Amarillos to the World Cup!

HUElavia 3-0 Blouman Empire
(Hamada 8', Navarro 43', Cristiano 63')

HUElavia entered Matchday 25 looking to rebound from the terrible 2-1 defeat to Equestria. Despite the loss, HUElavia was still in control of their own destiny as a win or draw would be enough for Los Amarillos to Qualify for the Final Tournament. The match was held at Estadio do Oro in Ourao, a recently built stadium that was being Baptized by a visit of the National Football Team. The stadium was sold-out as fans flocked to the stadium to possibly watch their team qualify to the World Cup in person. This was especially the case when during the last qualifiers, HUElavia qualified on their Bye-Week when they had 4 points above Mercedini. For the match, HUElavia wore their Home Alternative Uniform (while the Blouman Empire was given their Home Uniform), and 9 of the 11 main starters were playing, except for two- Ricardo started in goal, but was not given the Captain's Armband, and Smirnov started for Toni at left Centerback.

The match kicked off, and HUElavia began going on precise attacks left and right. The style of play was noted to have a sense urgency in the passes they made as they looked to open the scoreline to have some "Insurance" for the match. The opening goal would fall in the 8th minute, as a pass from Rossi would go through two defenders as Hamada would speed past them and go one-on-one with Polinoir, only to give a low but blistering shot past Polinoir's fingertips and into the goal to make it 1-0. The crowd erupted and jumped and cheered to make the stadium rumble as Hamada was mobbed by her teammates and the bench, especially since the lead was clinching HUElavia's qualification. Blouman empire began making attacks with Creddab, Hunter, and Cousins, but were easily snuffed out by either the defense of by Ricardo's superb goalkeeping. Time passed along and it seemed as if the half would end with that single goal until the 43rd minute, when a cross by Gallego into the box had Navarro leap up over Potts and hit the ball in an acrobatic manner is it blasted into the goal, with Polinoir not moving from the shock, making it 2-0. The crowd jumped up and celebrated with passion once more, but the entire crowd, both HUElavians and Bloumans alike, applauded Navarro for the wonder goal as he was mobbed by the team and bench for his effort. After three minutes of additional time, the referee ended the half 2-0, with the crowd already feeling that the World Cup appearance was theirs.

The second half kicked off and it continued where it left off, as HUElavia kept on putting pressure to score a definitive third goal. Passes and crosses were made, having shots and headers blocked by the defense or Polinoir going out for corners or throw-ins. All this attack led up to a cross by Coelho into the box, where Cristiano was left unchecked by any defenders, heading the ball into the goal with Polinoir unable to reach, making it 3-0. The crowd erupted and began to cheer and scream while Cristiano ran to a corner flag, did a power stance and celebrated with the team and bench mobbing him. The crowd then began to sing Como não vou te querer? Como não vou te querer? Se você jogou uma Copa do Mundo pela segunda vez? (How am I not going to love you? How am I not going to love you, if you played in the World Cup for a second time?). Coach Mendieta-Martinez made his substitutions and from there the team just passed the ball around, making crosses and passes in order to hog the ball and keep the clean sheet and qualification. The crowd grew even louder when they found out that the Kandorith and Vdara match was in a draw, which made the crowd sing loud with pride in their team. After 4 minutes of additional time, the referee ended the match and the bench ran onto the pitch to celebrate with the team, with the crowd roaring and celebrating. The 3-0 victory was enough for clinch the spot for the World Cup.

The only other match of note was Kandorith drawing with Vdara 2-2, which that result would have clinched HUElavia's spot in the World Cup if they had lost their match. Regardless, fans went out on the streets to celebrate the qualification, including shirts being sold on the internet celebrating the qualification. The next match will be a visit to Fujai, where all the female players will start the match, with the exception of Duran and Sissoko starting on the Right-back and Right-Wing positions respectively. The team will use the Away Uniform for the match, and will look to play with ease.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

In a game of high stakes for the opponents at TJUN-ia City, a 0-0 draw is certainly more important than it looks. Audioslavia beat Natanians and Nosts 3-0 in the other fixture, meaning the Bulls will go to the WC while Olibondeka will probably be invited to the Cup of Harmony, considering their exceptional form as a Pot 10 team.

As for the Jaguars, we will finish 9th in this group no matter what happens in Muradil. It is certainly down what we id in our debut campaign, but this shows how tough it really is on the international stage. We have completed the "Quest For More Than 11 Points" as we now have 15. Let's see how high thhis figure can go on the final mile of theis Marathon Cup. GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Updates on stadiums will occur as soon as we get them)
MD1: @Audioslavia (22) - Arena Kirola, Cathair L 1-2 (T-9th)
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (84) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (T-9th)
MD3: @Porticalia (330) L 0-1 (T-10th)
MD4: vs Sajnur (57) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (12th)
MD5: @Jeckland (UR) - Jecken Stadium, Rack City W 2-0 (10th)
MD6: vs Natanians and Nosts (131) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-4 (11th)
MD7: @Villablanca (235) W 6-1 (9th)
MD8: BYE (10th)
MD9: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 4-4 (10th)
MD10: @Necosia (341) D 4-4 (9th)
MD11: vs Turori (12) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-5 (10th)
MD12: @Astograth (303) - Castle Hill, Gesterlake D 0-0 (10th)
MD13: vs Muradil (212) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (10th/2W-5D-5L/-4GD/11pts)
-----------------------Off Day---------------------------
MD14: vs Audioslavia (22) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-1 (11th)
MD15: @Euran Oceania Territories (84) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive W 4-1 (10th)
MD16: vs Porticalia (330) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-2 (8th)
MD17: @Sajnur (57) - Niurka Stadium, Ciarkhan D 1-1 (8th)
MD18: vs Jeckland (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong D 3-3 (8th)
MD19: @Natanians and Nosts (131) - Stadion Nacional (?) D 1-1 (8th)
MD20: vs Villablanca (235) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 1-1 (8th)
MD21: BYE (8th/OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED)
MD22: @New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto L 0-1 (9th)
MD23: vs Necosia (341) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 1-1 (9th)
MD24: @Turori (12) W 2-1 (9th)
MD25: vs Astograth (303) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 0-0 (9th)
MD26: @Muradil (212)

[Nephara]

Nephara 4 - 2 Jeruselem
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 2 - Stride (18 - Longship 60'), 5 - Thorn, 6 - Brosch, 3 - Close (c); 13 - Saroszi, 4 - Shone (15 - Kastriot 67'), 21 - Moxham, 11 - Strongbow (16 - Deventer 72'); 9 - Bastable, 10 - Metzger
Goals: Strongbow 35', Bastable 41', Moxham 70', Saroszi 86'

Delaclava 3 - 6 Nephara
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 2 - Stride, 5 - Thorn, 6 - Brosch, 3 - Close (c); 13 - Saroszi, 4 - Shone, 21 - Moxham, 11 - Strongbow (16 - Deventer 73'); 9 - Bastable, 10 - Metzger (23 - Lovelace 79')
Goals: Bastable 15', Saroszi 19' 53', Metzger 35', Strongbow 38' pen, Lovelace 84'

Nephara 2 - 1 Acronius
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 18 - Longship (2 - Stride 57'), 5 - Thorn, 6 - Brosch, 3 - Close (c); 13 - Saroszi (7 - Kuepper 78'), 15 - Kastriot (4 - Shone 66'), 21 - Moxham, 16 - Deventer; 9 - Bastable, 10 - Metzger
Goals: Bastable 50', Deventer 63'

"... for these wild bowmen and unscrupulous traders - the Terranean Marchers - worship no God recognisable to us, or known to us, for all their protestations otherwise. For how could any holy spirit look down and endorse their debauchery? They lie with women and men alike, drink far beyond excess, and compete with their fellows in both fields. For all this the commander of this 'Free Company', one styling herself 'Thrasher', insists her men are in good order, and instructs me to wait for how they conduct themselves in the battle and after it ..."

"Sameba's been a good gig for us," mused Helvetia Muscat. It took a certain callous mentality to regard the ashen wasteland as a good gig, but it had also taken that mentality just to be here in the first place. Nominally, her Seraph Cooperative - let nobody say she didn't have an ego and a talent for making it obvious - was a non-profit NGO aiding in the stabilisation and normalisation of Sameba. In practice, they'd become a well-armed, well-financed foreign gang.
A gang needed muscle. The Topaz Company provided it, one of the old Free Companies of the Long Marches had that survived to this modern era of 'private security companies'. The Topaz Company in particular had been commissioned by the Nepharan government to hurl themselves into the meat-grinder of the Terranean War, and Muscat had given them an excuse to stick around. They had replenished their reserves with eager locals and after an extensive drilling regimen, soaking them in the Company's traditions, they were reluctantly considered 'ready'.
In any case, there was a but coming. The leader of the Topaz Company, Bernadette 'Mercy' Schumacher - the nickname really wasn't ironic, once! Honest! - had only been in the hot seat a year and a half after the last guy retired. She did a great line in raised eyebrows, and marshalled one now.
"What? It has!" Muscat protested. "The coffers don't lie-"
"It isn't that. It's the fact you're saying that as though we're going to leave."
"We are. Can't squeeze blood from a stone, captain."
"If this is a stone, where's your promised land?"
Muscat had somehow found a newspaper, solely to slam down triumphantly on the table. "That."
"... Farfadillis. Five-times-nuked Farfadillis."
"Yes."
"And even at the best of times--"
"Sure. But what competition will there be? Think about it-- no politics, just a generous helping operation for the common people. And plenty of opportunities. Plenty of tops to skim us..."
"And what if it doesn't work out, huh?" Mercy shifted her head to one side. "Lots of non-profits actually doing charity work. Why would people talk to the shadiest one with the mercenaries in tow?"
"... And that's exactly why. Security! Soup kitchens in a minefield! Coat drive plucked from the bodies of the dead! You underrestimate your Company's potential for marketing."
Mercy's lip quirked as she considered it. Was she sold? No. Was she under contract? An immense, heaving contract, one with a paymaster who honoured it and had the means to dig deeper?
"Sniff it out a little more," she said at last, though with more hope than expectation. "We'll get set to move out once you're ready, just tell me you've vetted your--"
"Great! So it's sealed!"
"... Yeah, Hela, great."

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
What remains of Savojarna’s World Cup campaign?

By Jaukka Halonen
In the 78th minute yesterday, The Sarian drove the dagger through the heart of Savojarna’s football fans and made qualification exceedingly unlikely as they scored the lone goal to get a double over the Northlights. We don’t have to go over this game again as I am sure you have seen it, and if you have not, it may be best not to change that unless you really enjoy suffering. The campaign has been a mixed bag, with Savojarna both seeming like a team that had a true shot to return to glory with holding on to a qualifying spot at times, and also seeming like they would continue a plunge into obscurity with occasional embarrassing losses and draws such as the two draws with Adyatin; the 0-5 clobbering at the hands of Chromatika being an embarrassing display of the difference between the Savojars and the top of the world. Now, with twelve and a half match weeks behind us, what is left?

Savojarna still have a shot, although it may be a long one
The obvious thing on everyone’s mind is the qualification for the World Cup - can Savojarna still make it? The answer is “perhaps”, and to be honest with you, while chances have been better in the past they are not as dire as it may feel to fans right now. Currently, Savojarna sit in fifth place with a risk of dropping to sixth or even seventh if they should lose to Chromatika, which would be a humiliation for the proud Northlights, but everything up to qualification is still possible because of how tight this group is.

The good news, however, are that Savojarna are the team with the best goal difference (although tied with The Sarian) in the running, meaning that if they should draw Eshan or Terre Septentrionale in points, they would take precedence on goal difference. This means that a victory over Chromatika may lead to qualification as long as we win by one more goal than The Sarian beats Terre Septentrionale (and if the Saari fail to do so, all hope will be lost anyway). However, out of all teams, it is Adyatin that would have to help us by beating Eshan; one can only hope that the Adyati don’t want to take the opportunity to take us down with them by handing Eshan the points. However, even an Adyati team fighting at the top of their hearts may very well lose to Eshan, which means we best focus all of our attention on winning against Chromatika away and hope to salvage at least some honour by finishing in our seeded position of fourth.

The kids are alright
One significant feature of Mikaela Rangren’s tenure as coach has been to enter younger players into the game, and moving away from the entrenched nature of the current Savojar NT. This has been successful so far, with Roman Forsberg and Iiro Pakanen slotting perfectly into their new positions and exceeding expectations (see next point) and Arvid Jotansson playing a dangerous striker role. Others are still mostly on the bench, such as Flemming Skov or Polina Zirkova, but show high amounts of promise and will likely play a key role in the future. It is expected that if Savojarna contest the Cup of Harmony, they would do so with a younger squad, and rumours have even suggested that core players like Voynov, Andersson or Nurkanen may be left at home for the CoH in favour of new blood.

The defence works to a charm
Savojarna’s traditional strength lies in physical and defensive play, and this is something that Mikaela Rangren has emphasised in her campaign - to decent success. At 33 goals conceded, Savojarna were only narrowly edged out by Eura, Eshan and The Sarian (all 32 conceded), and outmatched defensively by Alba and Cymru, a team that parked the bus in most of their games. Considering that five of the Savojar goals conceded came from that one fateful Chromatika game, this shows the strength of the Savojar defence despite significant changes to the back line. Iiro Pakanen has proven that his success with Jinja City in Banija is deserved, and Roman Forsberg has quickly become a star in the national jersey; a feat he can hopefully match in his stint at Olympia Borograd. Savojarna’s typical wingbacks also still managed to be a threat, although especially Alexey Nurkanen seemed lost at times. Overall, this is the area we need to be least concerned, which is a good basis for the future.

We lack a world-class playmaker
With Lenka Otalainen out of shape and Morten Poulsen failing to pull the strings on the international level, Savojarna severely struggle on this position. The current team features three major options: Poulsen as the common starter has shown to be a decent offensive playmaker and a goal threat, but not as strong in assisting the strong wingers; Karjanen has similar issues and plays mostly as a support striker; Otalainen has shown her quality in the past, but is in a massive slump and was prone to errors in her games. This leaves the Savojar attack without much backup and forces Jashkin and Voynov to play very deep, making it hard for Savojarna’s most dangerous and creative players to pose the threat they usually can be, as playmaking mostly happens further down the pitch with Maersk and Andersson.

The solution is currently not on the horizon, although there are some hopefuls. Looking to the SFS, we see many teams employing either a foreign playmaker such as Admiral’s Sabine Montag or Energie’s Abigail Admassu, or build primarily through the sides like CASK with Wallace Pickton or Lok with Ake Ericsson and Ivan Grivoshenko. Obviously, the former is not an option for Savojarna; the latter is also difficult as the two Savojar wingers are more offensively oriented and suffer from having longer run-ups to the goal (which has significantly contributed to some of the issues Savojarna had with defensive, lower-ranked opposition). Interesting options for the Cup of Harmony may be Denis Arkanin, who is playing a decent season at Libertas, and of course Rika Lundell, who is absolutely carrying Rotor Värstjö. Neither has been able to prove their value long-term, with Arkanin having occasional dry spells during his RLSK time and being highly team dependent, and Lundell playing only one partial SFS season.

The coaching is taking a right direction
Despite the rough results, Rangren’s contract deserves extension - the first female coach of a Savojar men’s or mixed team has stabilised a shaky side into a strong foundation, and found success at the Copa Rushmori. The WCQ group was exceptionally tight, and while the prospects for the KPB ranking are not rosy, they have been worse in the past. Savojarna under Rangren have an identity and a clear path for growth. This doesn’t mean that we should give her a blank cheque, but she is clearly on a right path to make the team a stronger side than it was before. The resurgence has to go through young players, and especially younger players in the side have said that the new coach is exceptional at integrating and strengthening them. This means that she is a great choice to run the Northlights Rebuild, and in the context of the WC90 project revealed during the last Sporting World Cup, she is the right person for the job.

The SFS and the World Cup need to find a new modus operandi
There is a widespread sentiment among football fans, as well as certain coaches, that the current international calendar is too full as a result of the World Cup qualifiers being a mammoth task of thirteen match weeks. As a consequence, the SFS is strongly compressed as well, with some of the key players playing with barely any breaks. This has led to a statistically significant drop in playing quality among national players after international weekends, and it has been suggested that one of the reasons why CASK are currently so strong is that fewer of their players are keystones in the national team. The options on the table are many - the SFS is announcing an attempt to shorten the off-season to allow for more time for its matches; there is a proposal of allowing for more substitutions in the SFS to allow for more resting time; some people suggest more mid-week games in calmer periods in order to allow for more breaks in the difficult times. Internationally, discussions are active as well, suggesting that play-offs may return to the World Cup, or that there would be alternative formats used for qualification to reduce the amount of games required. We will have to follow that longer, but it seems clear that either on the world side or the Savojar side, changes will have to be made.

[Timuria]

Timuria 4–0 Res Publica Nova Roma

Quick Summary by Aliser Hasanov

Timuria Starting XI (4-2-3-1): Iskender Nur, Zeynel Abidin Birkan, Kemal Colak, Berker Balkan, Gokdeniz Dag, Sabah Tanriseven, Reza Karaduman, Yerkebulan Suyumbayev, Ertan Renda, Volkan Ayhan, Omer Tameroglu

Timuria Subs: Bayram Tansu

Timuria Goals: Yerkebulan Suyumbayev (13), Sabah Tanriseven (50) Bayram Tansu (68, 77)

Yellow Cards: Berker Balkan

What They Said After The Match:

Bekir Altingunes: "Very pleased with what some players who we don't necessarily get to see a lot of showed us today. Some of them will be stepping up into more serious roles in the team in the not too distant future and you never know what the injury situation is going to be so it's good to know that we have capable and skilled players we can fall back on. It was great that the stadium was full today, even if there was nothing at stake the fans have, as always been brilliant and I'm glad we could give them a good show at home before the final match."

Person of the Match: Bayram Tansu - He came off the bench after Omer struggled and put on a show with two excellent goals that put the match well beyond doubt.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

The Curse of 2
Salwan Mynhier



Well, it's come down to this. One matchday, four teams, one spot in Farfadillis and Mriin. Kohnhead is out of the running for qualification after losing at home to Drawkland in a 9-goal shootout. That result kept the Kick Corps' hopes alive with 42 points. The Black-and-Reds' victory away to EGM was less dramatic, but also kept them in the running, even with the Drawkians on points and ahead by three on goal differential. Torisakia just managed to defend their home ground against visiting Wreckeria, escaping by four goals to three in a must-win to stave off elimination. Finally, the shock result of the week, the Busoga Islands, who were in the driver's seat in the group with a one point lead over third place lost a tough match in Lochario to drop back to fourth. The Curse of 2 has claimed another victim here in the home stretch of Group 2. As the Busoga Chronicle detailed prior to their team's match, since Matchday 19, whichever team has been placed second in the group has crumbled. First it was Drawkland, losing to the SRS and being passed in the standings on their bye. Then it was our turn, losing two and drawing one to cede the qualifying spot back to Drawkland. Drawkland promptly lost to Kita-Hinode, letting the Islanders take their place, and now the Islanders have succumbed to the curse at the first opportunity, meaning that the Black-and-Reds once again find themselves in position to cement qualification with a good result. Let's take a look at the standings:

   Group 2                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 2 Squornshelan Remnant States                  23   13   3   7    50   36  +14    42
 3 Drawkland                                    23   13   3   7    49   38  +11    42
 4 Busoga Islands                               23   12   4   7    43   30  +13    40
 5 Torisakia                                    23   11   7   5    50   38  +12    40

All four teams within two points of each other, and a spread of just 3 between the greatest and least goal differentials means that literally anything could happen. These teams' stats are so absurdly similar that there's also a difference of only 7 goals between the most and least potent attacks, and only 8 goals between the weakest and strongest defenses (it would be 1 and 2 respectively if not for the Islanders as an outlier). While it is possible to have a 3-way tie for points, with goal differential as the first tiebreaker, it is not possible to go to a 3-team head-to-head tiebreak. At most, there could be two teams in the head-to-head. In the event of a tie on both points and goal differential, The Black-and-Reds hold the tiebreaker against Drawkland and Busoga Islands, Drawkland holds the tiebreaker against Busoga Islands and Torisakia, and Torisakia hold the tiebreaker against the Confederacy.

Even with just one more match to play, the precise qualifying scenarios are still pretty damn complicated, so bear with me here:

Squornshelan Remnant States:

SRS qualifies with a win AND DRK loss or draw OR DRK win if DRK margin of victory minus SRS margin of victory is less than 4.
OR
SRS qualifies with a draw AND DRK loss or draw AND BUS/TOR draw OR BUS/TOR win but margin of victory less than 2.
OR
SRS qualfies with loss AND DRK loss AND BUS/TOR draw

Drawkland:

DRK qualifies with a win AND SRS loss or draw OR SRS win if DRK margin of victory minus SRS margin of victory is greater than 3.
OR
DRK qualifies with a draw AND SRS loss AND BUS/TOR draw

DRK eliminated with a loss

Busoga Islands:

BUS qualifies with a win AND DRK loss or draw AND SRS loss OR SRS draw if BUS margin of victory is greater than 1

BUS eliminated with a loss or draw

Torisakia:

TOR qualifies with a win AND DRK loss or draw AND SRS loss or SRS draw if TOR margin of victory is greater than 1

TOR eliminated with a loss or draw

So, now that we've figure out what each team needs to happen in order to advance, let's take a look at who's playing whom:

Matchday 26:
Drawkland v EGM
Squornshelan Remnant States v Lochario
Busoga Islands v Torisakia

For Busoga Islands and Torisakia, the task is simple: beat the other by two goals, and pray for upsets. Home matches against teams in the bottom half of the group would definitely be predicted as wins for Drawkland and the Confederacy under normal circumstances. The question is, can Lochario become the Curse's instrument for a second straight match? Will Drawkland, being even on points with the second-place Confederacy get caught up in the curse as well? Should both teams win, what will the scores be? Drawkland will be well aware that they need a mountain of goals to give themselves the best chance, and hapless EGM look like a prime opponent to run up the score against. if the Elite Eleven can get rolling early, they're certainly capable of putting up a very lopsided score. In short, this is Group 2 bitches, anything can and usually does happen. Hell, I won't be shocked if Kohnhead somehow defy all laws of mathematics and take second on the sheer force of Margaret's will. Bitterly disappointed and angry, but not shocked. There's nothing for it but to stitch yourself a tracksuit entirely out of rubber chickens and hop a train for Jaglan. One way or another, we settle this thing tonight.

SRS Qualifying Schedule

MD1:  SRS 4-5 Torisakia @ Pheldagrif Stadium, Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS (cap. 45,620)
MD2:  Balaslandia 2-3 SRS @ TBA
MD3:  SRS 5-3 Wreckeria @ Sunergy Field, Hunian, Algolia, SRS (cap. 37,550)
MD4:  Busgoa Islands 2-3 SRS @ Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, BUS (cap. 63,000)
MD5:  Bye
MD6:  SRS 5-2 Drawkland @ Megabrantid Financial Field, Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 69,245)
MD7:  Jantor 3-3 SRS @ TBA
MD8:  SRS 0-2 Gyatso-kai  @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion, Lublova, Molvania, SRS (cap. 61,230)
MD9:  Donnacona 0-1 SRS @ TBA
MD10: SRS 2-3 Kita-Hinode @ Bridger Lane, Damogran, Algolia, SRS (cap. 72,406)
MD11: Kohnhead 0-1 SRS @ Orange Bull Stadium, Kohnhead City, KHN (cap. 23,000)
MD12: SRS 3-1 EGM @ Igbar Steel Arena, Zarss, West Flania, SRS (cap. 15,100)
MD13: Lochario 1-2 SRS @ Zun Olympic Stadium, (cap. 98,000)
MD14: Torisakia 2-0 SRS  @ TBA
MD15: SRS 5-1 Balaslandia @ Killough Grove, Han Wavel, Han Dold, SRS (cap. 31,400)
MD16: Wreckeria 1-0 SRS @ Patrick Stadium, Halstead, WRE (cap. 30,000)
MD17: SRS 2-1 Busoga Islands @ The Lutenstaad, Lutenblag, Molvania, SRS (cap. 75,000)
MD18: Bye
MD19: Drawkland 0-1 SRS @ Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500)
MD20: SRS 3-0 Jantor @ Malgacorp Arena, Hensha, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 29,350)
MD21: Gyatso-kai 2-1 SRS @ Meshgeroya'yaim, Keldabe, Mandalore, GKI (cap. 79,890)
MD22: SRS 1-2 Donnacona @ Smolak Systemy Stadion, Sjerezo, Molvania, SRS (cap. 31,200)
MD23: Kita-Hinode 3-3 SRS @ Tentai City, Tentai, HIN (cap. 80,000)
MD24: SRS 0-0 Kohnhead @ Olympiastad, Arkintoofle, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 47,550)
MD25: EGM 0-2 SRS @ TBA
MD26: SRS v Lochario @ Castle Street, Jaglan, Algolia, SRS (cap. 57,300)