CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Abarri]

"For the first time since...well, 1999, we can see a repetition of numbers in the year!"
"Lame."


*changes channel*

[Nacrad]

"Is the Nacradian Government going to face a coup? Rumours has it that General Albert White is--"

*Changes channel*

[Austellusia]

"-recently outlawed dying before the age of 30. Anyone who does is to be given a prison sentence of up to-"

*Changes Channel*

[Abarri]

"You're so lame...you probably think this song is about you,
You're so laame (so lame!)
You probably think this song is about you,
Don't you, DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU?!"

*violin sounds*

*changes channel*

[Nacrad]

"Now, back to the Pacific. Experts believe that this will be the most active season yet, with 12 to be hurled at Nacrad, a regional power on par with--"

*Changes channel*

[The Posthuman Coalition]

"- the search is still on against the "Emperor of Mankind" as Novus Humanitae forces clear out another purported separatist stronghold"

*changes channel*

[The Yeetusa]

"Now Phil, how do feel about new hit artist, Lil Wiener Dog, and his new song that is topping the charts, "Rabid Musician"?"

"Well Jake, I feel like that song hit a little close to home. During his concert last month, he revealed he had rabies, as his symptoms started appearing. He was foaming from the mouth and started seeing things, like Elmo from Sesame Street."

"Jake, do you think he got rabies from his dog? Because we have his dog righ-"

The screen quickly cuts away to the Weatherman. In the distance, you can hear screams

*changes channel*

[Austellusia]

"Spicy meatbal-"

*Changes Channel*

[Azerijan]

*gibberish*

"Eleungoomtsa3ea...?" [Eləʊŋømjt͡sɑʒɛ̥] (What are they saying...?)

*changes channel*

[The Yeetusa]

Do do do do do doodoo do do do do.

I'm Peppa Pi-

*changes channel*

[Mackjaracotavon]

"'Tis but a scratch!"

"A SCRATCH?! YOUR ARM'S OFF!"

"No it isn't."

"Well, what's that then?!"

"... I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on you pan-"

*changes channel*

(OOC: Guess the reference.)

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse joins the Optimist Club. Fish has tea with the Queen. The Optimist Club becomes pessimistic. Fish dies of caffeine poisoning. The Queen secretly replaces him with a Corgi."

*changes channel*

[Minskiev]

“Und zat ich hau ju make ein perfect rizotto. Thanks German Gordon Ramsay! Nein problem. Nau gib clay.”

*changes channel*

[Carrelie]

"GOOOOOOOODD SAAAAAAVE AAAA-"
*changes channel*

[Ubekibekibekibekistanstan]

"Somebody toucha my spaghet!!"

*changes channel*

[B o r o v a n]

Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"Daniel."
"Daniel who?"
"Daniel Lee."
"I don't get it."
The man proceeds to open the door.
"The door was unlocked you know. How can I help?"
"I was wondering if you can help me."
"Well I'm the city clerk. Ask me anything."
"Can you help me find a good church? "
"There's plenty. You have few in your neighborhood. And why are you looking for one?"
"I done bad things. A police officer told me it'll help. I need to find the church that's a good fit."
"I'd love to help but I oversee the bishops and organizations. But I do know a man who can help. His name is Miguel Cassarubias. He's been to every church in this city. He knows what's a good church and what's bad. But..."
"But?"
"They say he went insane several years ago. No one spoke to him in ages. His home is located in the Southern Area."
"You mean the white area? That's the richest part of the county!That area mainly has Caucasians and Asians making $150,000 and above!"
"Something wrong traveling to there?"
"Nothing."
"Also he has guard dogs. Rottweilers and pit bulls. Only way of contact is knocking on his door since he changed his phone number but he's isolating himself real hard. Hates visitors. Owns a gun. Shotgun. Be careful. I hear he he won't hesitate to shoot to protect himself and ward off trespassers. And even if after that I dunno if wants to help."

One hour later.
Music Funky Town plays.
"So this is the Southern Area. God this part of town looks so eerily off. The shops are different. The feel is different. Ah here's the address!"
Thirty minutes later Daniel fought off fifteen raging hungry Rottweilers and pit bulls that were chasing him and biting off pieces of his clothing.
"Who are you and what ya want? Yelled a man with a shotgun.
"I'm Daniel. I need help."
"I don't want to sign your petition to lower the gas tax! Now get out!"
"No I need help! I need to find a church."
"Go!"
"An officer sent me. I done some real bad things. I need help to find a good church that's right for me."
"Come in then." He lowered the gun.
"So how do I choose a church?"
"One thing. You don't choose a church. The church chooses you."
"I don't get it."
"You don't choose a church based on what you want. The church chooses you. Based on the feeling you get when you enter there. The people you see and the spiritual connection you have with-"

*changes channel*

[Jutsa]

"debate"

*changes channel*

[Confederatio Germanico]

Here we go here we go here we go!!!
Crack and Hood
Meth is Good
The dead shall rise
Just like my morning woo..

*changes channel*

[Jutsa]

"I love you, you love me, we're—"

*Throws TV out of the window* *Changes channel*

[Minskiev]

And now, the Nations of the World RAP BATTLE, brought to you by DJ Yakko!

“Yo yo America is plump like a plum”
“Canada looks like a thumb”
“Mexico. Wall Wall Taco.”
“Panama has no stock. Though.”
“Haiti, stop the hate. Ee.”
“Jamaican me dinner, please?”
“Peru, it’s hilly and chilly.”
“Republic Dominican, it’s silly.”
“Cuba, surrounded by water, like a scuba”
“Caribbean, where my ex-wife went to with her new boyfriend. Jennifer...what did I do to you?”

*changes channel*


I had to write that cancer, I feel like I just invented a new curse.

[B o r o v a n]

"Wanna go to the mall but it's closed?! Wanna travel to another city of your dreams but can't because of Coronavirus? Wanna visit the forest or lakes but your governor says no? Tired of not being able to go bowling with your friends? Then introducing the ALL NEW VR 2000! A virtual reality helmet that lets you experience first hand just like real life in the FULLEST DETAILS IN COLOR POSSIBLE! Travel to Ten Thousand Acorns or the Pourel Mall and meet other people, too in this virtual reality helmet! Experience traveling and shopping like never before!"

*changes channel*

[Minskiev]

“Wait a minute...that’s not a goat! That’s Jerry!“

*changes channel*

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

"'Tis but a scratch!"

"A SCRATCH?! YOUR ARM'S OFF!"

"No it isn't."

"Well, what's that then?!"

"... I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on you pan-"

*changes channel*

(OOC: Guess the reference.)

---

"He's a semi-aquatic--"
*Accidentally changes channel*
"--seasick crocodile--"
*Tries to change channel back*
"--loser who should just--"
*Changes channel*
"--Lose eighteen kilos in three mo--"
*Changes channel*
"--ments, the President of France will--"
*Changes channel*
"--find out what it takes to--"
*Changes channel*
"--take over the Tri-State Areaaaaa!"
*Watches Phineas and Ferb*
*Changes channel after four episodes*

[The Yeetusa]

Are you a real villian?

Well, technically, ah, na-

*changes channel

[The Arbys Cult]

"Maurice and Cat materialize out of the aether. Fatatatutti knows exactly where this is going, and sues them immediately."

*Changes channel*