Draft 12
Title: Can't with Ants
Validity: Valid for Everyone. Authoritaria-Imperia is co-author
Description: Facing the hottest summer on record, @@NAME@@ has been hit by an unprecedentedly massive swarm of Maxtopian Carpenter Ants, reportedly able to reduce a wooden cow to shavings in minutes. With the entire nation being ravaged by the pest — including your conference room, unfortunately — a meeting's being held by a shopping centre to discuss what to do.
Option 1: @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a mother of 6, happens to notice what is taking place. "You have to do something! My children can't sleep at night because of these ants!" she says, visibly shaken. "You should pay exterminators to take care of them nationwide. We may have to pay more in taxes, and it may take a while, but we can't let those carpenter ants take our homes!" She sees an ant on a store display window and attempts to smash it by crashing her car into the wall. You all unanimously decide to continue the meeting in a different area, still near the shopping center.
Effect: swarms of exterminators invade homes by the hour
Option 2: When you finally get to a different location and continue discussing, @@RANDOMNAME@@, a @@MAN@@ in @@HIS@@ late 50s, cuts in. "What's the government doing now, huh? We don't need your nose where it doesn’t belong! " @@HE@@ gets uncomfortably close, @@HIS@@ big nose up against yours. "Plenty of us can handle this for ourselves! We shouldn't have to suffer even more; paying taxes for those that were unprepared." @@HE@@ looks at a notification on his phone and reads it aloud. "Hot single Bigtopians in your areal, damn, gotta go! "
Effect: buildings can hardly be seen behind solid walls of ants
Option 3: When you all start talking again, myrmecologist Antony @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ interrupts. "I get that these carpenter ants are causing problems, but this is a big chance to learn more about them, their ways can improve humanity. Put more government funding into my field and get me a small team to collect some of them, and send them to the labs! We can't collect all of them sadly, the majority of these ants you can leave to the exterminators. Please make sure the ones in the labs are treated kindly; they're living beings just like us!" Antony sees an ant carrying a crumb and follows it away.
Effect: lab ants are treated as first-class citizens
Option 4: "You know, that ant lover was on to something", says your military advisor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We should study these ants for military use. We can deploy them to enemy nations, like Blackacre, and destroy their infrastructure. There may be some unfortunate collateral damage for civilians, but I say those Blackacreans DESERVE it! @@HE@@ starts laughing maniacally
Effect: @@DEMONYM@@ carpenter ants are notorious war criminals.
I know for sure I probably made some grammar mistakes, if you spot some please let me know.
Also, all feedback is of course welcomed, it doesn't only have to be grammar.