World Cup 85 || RP Thread

by **Northwest Kalactin** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:06 pm

4 Reasons Why We Think The Kalactanians Can Qualify Next Cycle

1. Rising Stars
We have a plethora of new players coming to fill the positions left by older players that are leaving. Take William Bennett for example. He is a 16 year old star that plays for FoY right now that could very well look to step in as a substitute as soon as next year. There is also a Star right now In Thomas Butler. Butler is a 17 year old that is the best youth player in Northwest Kalactin and he keeps improving every season. He could very well start as soon as next cycle as a 19 year old, the youngest ever player to start for Northwest Kalactin. Harold Hall is also a goalkeeper that could build his international experience enough to he point where he could start in World Cup 86 or 87. Scott Ward is also a bright looking spot for the team but he is not likely to start until the 87th or 88th World Cup at the earliest.

2. The Cup of Harmony
There is a very high chance that the Kalactanians will participate in this years Cup of Harmony. They plan on using this years tournament to test their options in younger players and possibly fin pd a few diamonds in the rough. Take Larry Martinez for example, he is a young player that they may start for a game or two in the COH and let him try to find a way to work with players like Matt Hall and Joeseph Anderson on defense. They can also use this tournament to help build up many players that will soon be entering their primes, such as Matt Hall and Jimmy McCarthy.

3. Jimmy McCarthy
He has been a bright spot for the team this cycle in qualifiers as he managed to score a good number of the Kalactanians goals and also throw in a few assists here and there. Anyone who watched Project Olimpo could see the talent that McCarthy carried with him from day one. He will be entering his prime next cycle and he could very well surpass a player like Luke Dillan or Jared Sednah in terms of greatness. He is a player that is always able to find a goal for the team when they need it most and is a great team player. He could become one of the best players on the team in these coming years as he will be 26 during the time of the next cycle.

4. Matt Hall
Another one of the players that has been able to turn this team around recently has been Matt Hall. Hall is a standout defender that can play 1-1 with anyone and has great athleticism. He is currently 23 years old and will soon become one of the star players on this team that he hopes to become. He recently won the player of the year in a Farfadillian state league which just shows the level of talent that he is working with. Hall will also be entering his prime this coming cycle and will be placed the defense on his shoulders. A concern however, is that he will crumble without many of the stars like Jake Dakota and Hue Grebv not returning for the coming cycles.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:51 pm

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas in Darmen ...

Hello this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. We're not at home once again, for another important qualifying game of the World Cup 85. Well, to be honest - all of them are important it's just some are more important than others. It's match day 16, we're closing down the games to determine who qualifies.

I'm in Darmen! Darmen visited Jeruselem last time and we kinda lost that one. But we're here in Darmen determined not to repeat that result. And at that time, against Darmen it was our first loss of this cup which resulted in a loss the following game.

Let's look at other Group 7 results!
South Charlia got a point! They hold visitors Delaclava to a 1-1 draw. Well, that's good for them even if they won't actually qualify. Delaclava will be unhappy with that, not beating the last placed team.
Competitive Solitaire not really living up to their name, losing to visitors Acronius 1-0. Acronius get another win and stay kinda in contention I guess. Good for them.
Sarzonia needed to win, and well Simpralia was one of team you'd expect to beat. It didn't quite happen that way, with Sarzonia only managing 3-3 draw at home. It's not what they wanted. They wanted to win given the loss last game.
Huayramarca probably won't qualify but Welzat came along to win, the locals held them to 1-1 draw to deny Welzat a win. Welzat needed more wins.
Great Lausitz were forced to host Nephara and lost 3-0.

Well Sarzonia draws, Nephara wins, and then we had Darmen vs Jeruselem! This is a big game for both teams. These two teams have yet to beat Nephara but they can still steal points from each other.
You might be saying, OK Darmen beat us again. It's OK.
Well guess what we hammered them 4-1 HERE. Yeah, you know we had sad little 1-0 wins last few games.
Not today, 4-1 to Jeruselem and locals were just like ... what's happening here!
Solid defending again and yes we conceded one goal but scored 4. That's good enough for me!
One of our best games I think, because we were up against a real opponent. A team who could brush us off at their best.
I don't know what's going on with them but we're just interested in our game and our results in the end.
Hey, today was good for us given the context of the other major games.

The table is well, kinda the same.
Nephara on 40 points and looking like winners.
Jeruselem on 32 now, past the 30 mark. Darmen hold onto 3rd spot with 27 but Sarzonia also being 27 means it's far from over.
Acronius threatens from 5th spot on 25, hey they aren't giving up.
Welzat fading in 6th on 21.
Delaclava in 19, Simpralia 17, Aimena 17. They are still in that band under Welzat.
And the last 4 remain the same spots. Huayramarca 14, Great Lausitz 12, Competitive Solitaire 11 and South Charlia now on 6 ... form 5.

Could have been far worse for us, we could have lost again. And Sarzonia winning. This is football, there's no certainty.
We do have a match day bye on match day 18. So winning the next game so important to preserving this buffer over 3rd and 4th.
Let's hope this cup is one where we're back in the final but we have lot of games left.

Please note Group 12 has similar named team to us called Jerauuk, they are last. It's not obviously us.

Each group is different, today we look at the team names which are the most fun or one that could be misread badly!
Group 1 is bit boring, with Necosia. Good thing there's no extra R in there as it would sound like Necrosis which is not what you want do get.
Group 2 has Donnacona, which sounds like girl's name. Also Kohnhead, no that's KOHN not CONE.
Group 3 has Wanarpu. Like "Wanna RP You!".
Group 4 has two. There's A Flock of Seagulls, yes that is the actual name. And the even longer The Appraisal To The Allmighty MR TAYTO.
Group 5 has Sharktail and Bushkrub. Good thing Bushkrub has the K in it you know.
Group 6 has Valentine Z, I hope the Z isn't anything to with Zombues.
Group 7 has Competitive Solitaire ... who play football.
Group 8 has Cheergirls, and it is what is ... cheerleaders. Look at the flag
Group 9 has Xuzaqiy ... no idea actually how to say that. There is Audiasania, which isn't Audioslavia.
Group 10 has Trolleborg, although the country has nothing with actual trolls, just the word is there. One called When U Die, fun times. And one called The Commuinist republic of chinatown ... with deliberate spelling error.
Group 11. A team called Nooooooooooooooo ... yes one N with lots of Os. Monglechabagd ... err yeah, no idea.
Group 12. Familiar opponent Geektopia with their funny team member names. Baggieland ... what's a Baggie. And Havynwilde, having a wild time maybe?
Group 13. So many here! Plane of Possibility ... I guess it's possible. Eraman, and Bliuji.
Group 14. This one is great! Drunk People at the Local Tavern ... so literal that one.
Group 15. ReÃ§ueÃ§n is winner here, even though spelling it is like urg.

OK, who's the WINNER from these teams names?
It's "Drunk People at the Local Tavern" ... that's the winner.
They won't win the cup, but I love that name.
Nooooooooooooooo were close 2nd for me.

Well, that's me from Darmen.

OOC
Darmen 1–4 Jeruselem
South Charlia 1–1 Delaclava
Competitive Solitaire 0–1 Acronius
Sarzonia 3–3 Simpralia
Huayramarca 1–1 Welzat
Great Lausitz 0–3 Nephara

by **Sharktail** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:52 pm

GROUP 5 MATCHDAY 16

Khazajamal-0

Sharktail-2
Gaby (m '54)
Fikri (m '64)

Maxter
Batuil
Azmi
Yusri
Irfan (sub m 64)
Fikri
Azmer
Badhri (sub m 64)
Azaim
Gaby
Virman

Sub
Salaman (m 64)
Hadi (m 64)

Hello and welcome back to my Channel Nazri TV.We meet again, as always, please share and subcribe, invite your friends.Miss me, haha your handsome and cute streamer, Nazri.Please do not spam the comments section.Well you all so agressive today but its okay.Thank you for supporting me.Well, as I was live after the match against the baker park, the live was watched by 600 viewers. Thanks to everyone who supported me.So today I'm targeting my streaming to get 1000 views.

Ok as i mention last time,today i not live at home.Where i said i will stream this week?If you watch my last streaming,you will know it.(Check the comment)Yes,in Khazajamal.Right now,i the most handsome man in Sharktail now stand in Khazajamal.Hahahaha.Ok sorry it a bit embrassing.Some peoples watching me.(Lower his head to greet them).Hello,hye,hye.They are few people around here.Let not do that again.I just saw the police.If i get caught while laughing,they may sent me to mental hospital.Let move there.Ok this place seem ok and have a good background.Ok so what we are going to do?(check the comment.'How many days have you been in Khazajamal?)How many days?I arrive yesterday morning,so this is my second days.(Are you there alone?)Yes i am here alone.Maybe i can try pick up on girl here.(Do you have a girlfriend?)Nope i dont have a girlfriend.(Go walk around Khazajamal.)Nice idea,let walk around while talking.(What do you like to do the most?)What i like to do.There not much i like.Just reading a novel and watching tv,that all.(Why you like reading a novel?)I learn how to talk and arrange my word to be nice and creative.I am shy,so it hard to get some friend.I try to find something that can atract people to me.So i like using novel word and poem.The novelist are so creative,i like them.(Do you doesnt have a friend?)I have,but just friend.If you say about best friend,we all best friend.We have our own personalities,sometime even you are not so close with someone,he can still be your best friend,someone you can talk,share and ask for help.You can everything.Hmmm....nect time,i will try to ask my friend if he can joining live with me.(Have you ever dating someone?)Haha,i dont think i ever dating someone maybe just have a feeling for them.I not a pervert okay.If you count i sitting with girl,only two of us while our friend playing around,it happen many time.Come on,count it.(Are you not planning to date someone?)I planning for it.If anyone watch this you want go date with me just call me,hahaha(Nice try.)Haha,who knows if there are someone have feeling for me.

(Nazri stopped at tourist spot in Khazajamal)The are many tourist from other country here.This place good to take a picture as a memory when you come to Khazajamal.(Some tourist walk past him.Nazri just only can say hello.The tourist reply in many language.Nazri just reply back with smile).Waah it so awkward.Let take a picture as memory here.I will show you around here.I think i know why this place claimed as tourist spot.They are many restaurant and shopping mall.Look at the price around here.It good deal for all the tourist.I think i will try some after this.Hahaha.(When will you go live again?)Ah next one when we facing Darkmania.I will doing report that match too.Today i not doing any report because i see all the post in Sharktail already report a lot.So next time,we can talk about football again.Ok guys,i hungry now,so i want to try some local food here.I will went back to Sharktail this evening.So see you next time.Thank for you support.Your handsome and cute host,Nazri witdraw.Byeee....

GROUP 5 MATCHDAY 17

World Cup 81/82/83/84

House of Assembly chamber--11:45 Monday

Mr Deputy Speaker: "Questions for the Minister of Public Health & Agriculture. Vanessa Connelly."

Vanessa Connelly (LTU--Lima East): "Mr Deputy Speaker, I'd like to ask the Secretary of State if the Ministry received my correspondence of last Wednesday, and if so, has there been an opportunity to ascertain a reply?"

Mr DS: "The Secretary of State for Health."

Stephanie Hollan (LTU--Melissaville): "Mr Deputy Speaker, I beg leave of the chair to inform the Assembly that I will be answering questions in the place of the Minister, and in reply to my distinguished friend, we welcomed her inquiry on the subject, as it has become quite a point of contention in other nations--and varying degrees of Reality--recently. I ask the chair for leave to address the question in depth under the Ten Minute Rule, although I shall not take that much of the Assembly's time."

Mr DS: "Without Objection, so ordered."

SH: "The short answer to the distinguished member from Lima East's question is: there has been no evidence provided to the DRRS Authority, the Processing & Packaging Division, the DESO or the PHA that the product produced in the Commonwealth by the BCEL Corporation, under license from Cocoa-bo of Turori, contains any ingredients that are addictive or harmful to consumers. The Minister himself, Mr Deputy Speaker, personally asked for a review of the product several weeks ago when the controversy first became widespread. Samples were tested from randomly purchased retail units within the Commonwealth; the bottling facility itself, at a point in the production that preceded the final packaging stage; and samples bought from overseas Cocoa-bo Retail Shops.
Nothing contained in any of the tested specimens was at deviance of the standards contained in the Food Products Act 1974, as amended; the Controlled Substances Act 1999, as amended; or the various regulations based on those Statutes. I ask the chair to for leave to cut my allotted time short."

Mr DS: "So ordered. Mrs Connelly, follow up? Thank you. Phillip Warner.

etc., etc.

the Schoenlein residence, Queen's Park, Belle Haven--the previous Sunday afternoon

The Sunday lunch was finished, with the hired staff clearing the plates, and the behind the scenes activity in full breakdown mode; it had taken a lot of effort on the part of her husband, kids, staff and the Protection Service to convince the PM that catering in lunch for 10 was easier than other alternatives.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

Rebecca Schoenlein reached out to Sarauniya (Queen Mother) Iriama--the widow of Kabaka Albert III of Banija--with whom she'd established a good personal relationship over time, extending a private invitation for a weekend visit to coincide with the running of the Albert III Memorial Trophy race for 2 year old thoroughbreds at Northwestern Pike Racecourse.

The PM had raised the topic during a call with the BP Ambassador to Banija, Robert 'Swede' Johanssen, who was a trusted confidant of the Royal Family.
"Obviously, she would be my personal guest, no functions or photo calls, just an hour or two at the track. Maybe a private visit with the Head. What sorts of interests does she have personally?"

Swede knew that the Sarauniya was not bereft for companionship or activities (in fact, he and his wife were occasionally invited for dinner or other social activities by her), but that a private visit, especially for something paying tribute to her late husband, would be way for her to slip out of the domestic spotlight for a bit.

"She was really touched as a great grandmother that the boys had got their own opportunity to shine on the State Visit. I'm sure she would be amenable to a weekend visit in a private capacity."

"In my mind, we'd ask her to stay here at the house. The security and logistics wouldn't be that big of a deal. Does she have a lot of retainers or companions? Maybe a hotel might be better depending on what kind of party she'd want to bring."

Swede jotted a few things on the corner of a page and put his friend's questions to rest. "I'll casually mention it tomorrow, as I'm already invited to lunch with the Kabaka, Isebantu and the immediate family. I'll let you know what I find out."
(To Be Continued)

lineup for MD 17-18

starters: Vickers; Hutchins, N Underwood, O'Connell; Rizzo, Callum, Taborn, Ngoba; Sotolongo; Blair, West
subs: Johnston, Monaghan, Wiseman, Porter, Nolan, Mason, Cassel, Thompson, Wadsworth
(as usual, assume that some of these will be rotated into a starting role for the second match)

by **Tequilo** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 11:53 pm

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Today in your new favourite magazine we continue our new series for those unfamiliar with pitxi in Tequilo by looking at some of the biggest teams in the country. Rumour that these features are prepatory material for the new IFCF-focused blog are completely wide of the mark of course; they are here to help followers of the World Cup navigate the ins and outs of domestic football that underpins the new World Cup campaign.

In this series, we go state by state to look at the teams in that region that qualify for the nomination of 10-Nacional; that is to say, the top ten teams in the country based on the number of state championships won. In this edition we look at Guastenango State, and two of the great teams of Tequiloan football well deserving of their place in the Big Ten: SC Pedregal and Acacoyagua.

But first - what happened to Los Pitxileros in World Cup qualifying? Let’s fire up the Copametro to find out…

TEQUILO HUFF AND PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGONFLIES CLAIM THE VICTORY
TEQUILO 0-1 Ko-oren HT: 1-0

Location: Estadio '77o, Ixta-Comitán, Chazapa Att: 66,309
SCORER: Lonchambon 61’

In a tightly contested affair out in Chazapa, as the tour of home qualifying matches reached it’s third destination in the country, it was the much-fancied visitors who came away with the victory by showing that little extra bit of class and experience still lacking in the Agave-Blues. Putting squad squabbles behind them, the Dragonflies looked a well-rehearsed unit to soak up some early pressure from the home side, and then to slowly turn up the heat to prevail with a win, Maximilien Longchambon, the attacking midfielder, turning in the complete performance to run this game and effectively win it with his strike on the hour mark. It was a reminder for Los Pitxileros that, despite the shock win in Ko-oren in game 3 of qualifying, they are still beginners in this competition and should never count their chickens when coming up against the Old Guard. The game marks the second consecutive defeat in the matches being played across the regions of the country, and the ‘grand tour’ is becoming something of a damp squib, although a full house at the ‘77os stadium certainly enjoyed this one, a moderately good performance against a much better visitor.

The tough fixtures continue against first and second placed sides next: The Holy Empire at Palacio de Cristal, Gardaresso in the next home tie and before that, travelling to Port Ember for the return match following a creditable draw in the first pairing between these two. Coach Isaac Martí will rotate his squad somewhat, with one forced change and a number of players returning to fitness. Niño Pinto’s minor injury against the Dragonflies means Onorato Claver returns to the midfield pinnacle for his second international appearance, and in front of him top scorer Tlacolotl returns from injury to replace Urlegi Gorostola, with Roxelio Toran getting the pick ahead of Urlegi. There are returns at the back too with Patrick Zambo and Oscar Bienvenido both returning from injury, whilst Callañaupa is rested in favour of Huachalla for the defensive midfield.

Starting Line-Up for TEQUILO @ Port Ember:

Bienvenida | Zambo, Apeiztegui (Capitan), Huracán, Chicchan | Huachalla | Artechevarria, Claver, Tutayan | Tlacolotl & Toran

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
What ever happened to Xuilo Tlalqui?

It was an inauspicious end to a football career - perhaps the most inauspicious end to any football career, at least in Tequilo. Xuilo Tlalqui was a moderately good pitxi player back in the day, with very good prospects. Coming through the ranks at lower league team Ciudad Cuahtémoc in Guastenango state, Xuilo and his brother Chuco were much appreciated youngsters with a big future ahead of them, some said. Xuilo was certainly the more fancied of the two, and was soon spotted by the big boys. Despite interest from some of the state’s biggest clubs including Índigo Huayna and Acacoyagua, Xuilo opted for a move to Correcaminos in Yaya. The Roadrunners were a decent enough side, although many felt he could have done better. Chuco, his brother, decided on the departure of Xuilo that he would no longer play pitxi, and dropped out of the Cuahtémoc youth team at the age of 15. Unknown to perhaps anyone but Chuco, his brother Xuilo, 18 and gone to the big time with Correcaminos, was involved with Los Bastardos, a small time gang in the ramshackle town of Chanco Cóndor. They were obviously hoping to move big time with their new connection in the city of Yaya. Breaking into the first team in his first season at the Roadrunners, the boy was set for glory, when a huge bank robbery in Yaya ended in a dramatic cross-town chase, machine guns, motorbikes, little Withiel Mini cult sports cars with Tequilo flags on the roof choc-full of cash running about town like enraged wasps, speedboats, a rusty old coach - you name it. Most of the money disappeared, most of the robbers were shot by chasing police, and a couple of key members were caught alive and interned for interrogation. A huge bust ensued on the Bastardos gang - and Xuilo was implicated. In a show of severe justice, as a warning to others, Xuilo, who claims to this day he was neither present in the raid nor involved in the planning, got life in the clink. And that was the end of his pitxi career. And all careers - apart from sewing mail bags and prison horticulture: today, decades later, he is still in prison in Yaya running the composting system for the farm there, and is considered a world expert on worm farming. He continues to appeal his conviction.

10-NACIONAL
Part 3/6 - Guastenango State

The predominantly highland cloud forest region of Guastenango State is in many ways the most exotic and diverse of the six regions of Tequilo, a region famous for adventuring opportunities and home to coffee, caapi and mapachi production - three of the great brain stimulants of the country. Not that you would go there for such narcotic motivations, nonono. The state is the number one area for fruit cultivation and there is plenty of llama, alpaca, mountain goat and Nango sheep farming for the agriculturists to explore. The home of the Huayna people, together with it’s psychoactive domestic products and spectacular landscapes, makes Guastenango a central source of mysticism & ritual, and a devoted production house of the mythologies in Confusiónismo. The smallest state by population, it’s mountain cities of Cuara, Raití and Huayna-Comitán have still managed to produce some fine pitxi clubs, two of which are firmly in the 10-Nacional and compete in the Cálculo Gigantico, or reckoning, as we call our derby rivalries: SC Pedregal and Acocoyagua.

SC PEDREGAL
Guastenango State Champions: 18 times; most recent season 122 (last season - holders)
Copa Tequila Winners: 3 times; most recent season 94 (28 years ago) including one double
Stadium: Estadio San Pedro, Cuara.
Capacity: 42,000
Nicknames: Los Silbadores - The Whistlers
Colours: Yellow shirts, white shorts, black socks
Alternate: Black shirts & shorts, white socks
Current Manager: Ramiro Peredo, 53
Team Captain: Hugo Reza (DC), 30
Young Prospect: Roibén Caldeira (ST), 19

In the state capital of Cuara (pop. 1.3m for the whole metropolitan district), two teams vie for supremacy of the city, and of the state championships - one is the upstart, brash, new money noisy neighbour Sporting Club of Tequilo, commonly Tequiloans, whilst the other is pitxi royalty - old school, old money, old manners: SC Pedregal, the oldest club in Guastenango and arguably the first pitxi club in all Tequilo. They are a popular club throughout the country for their heritage, although they are also the club many love to hate, considered like all aristocratic types to be a bit arrogant and a bit fancy. Their fame is uncontested though, and throughout the Wide Enness Ocean they are well known - not just for some ancient ideal of the good old days, and of how the game used to be played; they are equally famous for being pretty damned successful too - eighteen state championships means they are tied with Acacoyagua for most titles and some considerable distance ahead of the chasing pack where Equipo Caimán are the best of the rest on a meagre twelve titles.

As holders of the state title, the present team has proven a thrilling set up under cultured manager Ramiro Peredo, focusing on an athletic pressing team that plays fast but certainly not loose. Rock solid at the back with two of the finest centre halves in the game in Nícer Pero and team captain Hugo Reza, and with national favourite Narciso Cora up front, the coach is also bringing through a strong batch of young players for what might be a golden generation for The Whistlers - half a dozen teenagers are now in the first team squad and the pick of them must be Roibén Caldeira, the 19 year-old linking up nicely with Narciso Cora at the front last season as Pedregal stormed to the state title. They will be a good bet to defend that title and will be eyeing the first ever Liga-TQ national title right from the start of this coming season.

First Team

Goalkeepers: Kai Sidiki, Nuno de Soto, Allauca
Defenders: Léo Mambila, Nícer Pero, Hugo Reza, Fernan Sotolongo, Koka, Quelka Ticllacuri, Ccolque Alca, Estevo Viveiros, Wayanaysi
Midfielders: Xusto Padron, Boaventura Figueredo, Zaquiel Goris, Tuta Huhua Polloqueri, Raimundo Lista, Moises Noboa, Gonzalo Navia, Milan Lucio, Xerome Mira
Forwards: Narciso Cora, Roibén Caldeira, K’Antu, Exidio Grana, Canchon Surichaqui

ACACOYAGUA
Guastenango State Champions: 18 times; most recent season 120 (three seasons ago)
Copa Tequila Winners: 3 times; most recent season 107 (16 years ago)
Stadium: Estadio Cuahtémoc, Huayna-Comitán.
Capacity: 72,305
Nicknames: Acaco, Los Blancolirios (The Lily Whites)
Colours: All white, with brown & gold trim
Alternate: Brown shirts, gold shorts & socks
Current Manager: Marcos Bran, 43
Team Captain: Luzio Bandrés, 32, DMC
Young Prospect: Jâsín Wíndândaò (FFD), 20, MR

The Huayna Empire, one of the three great tribes of ancient Mesopletora, built the magnificent city state of Huayna-Comitán and while the alliance of Tequilo holds all people in equal regard and technically without geographic bias, the city is one of the most spectacular ancient homes of the Indigo people, and even in modern times is a large majority of the Huayna people. That also means, quite unusually, that the two main pitxi clubs in the city are not informally divided on racial lines as is the case in other major conurbations where there are large mixes of both heritages: here, both Índigo Huayna and it’s much larger and more successful rival, Acacoyagua, are widely supported by native communities as well as the minority Costelloa immigrant groups. Acaco, or Los Blancolirios, are one of the great names of pitxi - though unlike the likes of SC Pedregal, the ’77os, or CF Frantxizko-A, they are not greatly supported outside of their home state, as they have never perceived as a glamour club in the eyes of the nation. And yet they have matched SC Pedregal for titles and continue to compete for trophies.

Young manager Marcos Bran, a former defender up in the capital at Fábrika, brings his former skills to bear and has set up this team as defensive specialists ready to frustrate the most attacking opponents, with the likes of national team defenders Huachalla and Camilo Caira starring, and his defensive midfield captain Luzio Bandrés marshalling a very tight formation with some success. Coach Bran has been at the club for three seasons now and has not managed to recapture the highlight of his first season title, leaving some fans making unhappy noises about the lack of excitement in the style of play. But things may change a little with the highly anticipated introduction this season of young Farv winger Jâsín Wíndândaò, who made cameo appearances last season and certainly got heads turning. Wether or not you are a great fan of Bran’s Tornillo defensive style, it is to be expected that Acaco will mount a serious challenge on the state championship - that is always expected - and perhaps even the new Liga-TQ national title. But many feel the Tornillo is not enough to win things in Tequiloan Pitxi - more flair may be required. Let’s hope Jâsín can live up to expectations.

First Team

Goalkeepers: Davide Sandino, Axel Barrios, Pio Cea
Defenders: Phallcha Quillahuaman, Huachalla, Camilo Caira, Patricio Seco, Jatsu Cañaverri, Lou Lisumbu, Uxío Saravia, Achiyaku, Quriurma Huaman, Arximiro Lamas
Midfielders: Luzio Bandrés, Luc Mukendi, Arximiro Rodas, Jâsín Wíndândaò (FFD), Davide Razo, Inka Canchasto, Vilca Qori, Huayanay
Forwards: Belián Cirera, Andre Vazquez, Phuyu Cocha Chamba, Virxilio Sion

RÚI de Los ROVAS
Rúi Raza & the family company are back!

Read on to find out what happened when Rúi invited his old friend Vlad The Inhaler, that is to say 133-year old Russian President Vladimir Putin, now on permanent oxygen supply through a special tank on his back, over for dinner as the Raza family dock their floating agency, the SS Sepp Blatter, in the White Sea city of Archangel. Roque was certainly right to be worried about the bad press, what with yet another dubious election victory returned a 99.2% majority in favour of another 40 year term for Vlad. Should Rúi be socialising with the eccentric ’Siberian Duckbill’ as the western media had taken to calling him? Meanwhile, Roni and his daughter head to Moscow to meet with an old friend and client of the company - Roman Abramovich, who has a list of about fifteen fancy-pants players at his club, ‘Fancy-Pants’ Chelsea, that he wants to get rid of now that he has secured the signing of Timo Werner. Rita is going to have to admit that she pressed the wrong button in their recent ‘Zoom’ meeting and the deal hasn’t technically been done - but will the Oligarch who stole billions from the Russian People accept the bad news with grace and equanimity, or will he just blow his shit and have them locked away on some trumped up spying accusation?

COMPETITION TIME
STILL WITH US? We are running the first of our occasional massive giveaway competition, called OOC - that stands approximately for ‘observing our crapola’ - spot the smash hit children’s nursery song referenced in this edition, TG the first line of the song to Tequilo and we’ll send you a free player for your domestic league, with a complete history. Perfect squad-filler - and their current contract will be cancelled so no having to wait for the transfer window - we are talking bonafide free agents. Bonus round - add a few words beginning “I would like a sticker because…” and mention which club your new player will be playing for, and we’ll even send a Stiki-Stiki collector’s sticker to the funniest entry. Competition closes at Mriin's next cut-off.

NEXT TIME
What’s Up In The Next Issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!

Coming soon - time flies and by the time the next issue of Extra is on the shelves and in the forum, another Quarter of Qualifiers will have passed and we’ll be looking at the latest ups and downs in the Tequilo camp - plus, what ever happened to Roy Keane, the famous cartoon nemesis of Rúi de Los Rovas? We’ll be taking a bit of a diversion in our Track & Trace series to imagine what may have happened to the fictional hardman of the old comic. Meanwhile, in the new updated version of the classic comic, we catch up with the youngest member of the Raza family, Rodi Raza-Shearer, Rúi’s great great grandson and trainee at Blackburn Rovers.

by **Blouman Empire** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 4:29 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Eagles Domination Secure Result

Blouman Empire manager Lewis Parry said it was nice to get the level of support from the fans after celebrating a 3-2 win of Jamestownnnn last night.

The Eagles found their cutting edge to ease past a woeful Jamestownnnn to record their third win of the qualifiers and move up to 9th with 13 points. Perry, believes his team's first-half performance at Fort William Park was their "best 45 minutes" these qualifiers. The Empire were unable to score last time the two sides met and led when Issac Cupstran lost his marker from a free-kick to head in the opener. The home side doubled their lead from another set-piece when Luke Cousin outjumped Jamestownnnn goalkeeper Johaan Legado, who had wandered off his line, to head into the empty net. The Eagles had plenty more chances to extend their lead, finally grabbing a third when Cupstran clipped in a precise free-kick after half-time.

Jamestownnn pulled one back when Weston Richards slotted one in from close range and set up a grandstand finish through EJ Mckenzie for a tidy finish in injury time. A dramatic equaliser would have been unfair on the Empire, who hung on to spark wild celebrations from the home fans across the stadium. "We could’ve been better but the first half in was the best we've played these qualifiers” Parry said to the press after the game. "We looked solid and on the counter we looked very dangerous, but if we have to point out areas of improvement we have to take our chances because if we had taken them we would have got four or five."

The Empire’s problems have been laid bare over the qualifiers, with supporters given little to cheer about by a weak defence and a team that struggles on the international stage. That all changed today with an almost perfect display from the Eagles. Their defence was organised defensively and were rarely threatened until the visitor’s staged a late comeback. Despite the first two goals coming off set pieces the Eagles consistently caused panic for the Jamestownnnn back line and were they more on target they would’ve enjoyed a greater margin of victory.

Cupstran, started to stretch the home defence and twice could have extended the lead when he sprinted through on goal only to be denied by Legado on both occasions.
Attacking midfielder Ty Freltron has been criticised for his poor performances these qualifiers but teed up Cupstran’s opener with an unselfish header back across goal from John Miller’s free-kick and worked hard throughout. Winger Ryan Hunter was also a standut for the home side, only to be again let down by his end product and spurning a chance late on to score a fourth and ease the pressure.

Jamestownnnn had a slow start to the qualifers and had slid down the ladder but ere slowly starting to build some momentum and show good play before this match. They lacked ideas in the final third of the pitch, unable to create any clear-cut chances from open play in the first half dominated by the Empire. Jamestownnnn finally sparked a fightback which had looked unlikely over the previous 70 minutes but it was far too late and produced a scoreline that not reflect the domination and superiority shown by the Eagles.

After the strong showing by the Eagles they will be looking to repeat the effort in their next match against Ancherion. Last time the two sides met the score was 3-2 but that time the result was in favour of Ancherion, something the Eagles will be looking to reverse with the confidence after last night’s showing.

by **Electrum** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 5:30 am

The Turnip Quiz: Hypothetically speaking, if you infiltrated the Dreamed Realm, and had to escape the clutches of Sir Barsanuphius the Bold and his steely, muscular arms that can lift for days, what methods would you use to escape?
by Billiam Maskey, chief-editor-in-chief

Check off all the methods you would use to escape

☐ Jam two fingers into his eye slits, and use Sir Barsanuphius the Bold's screamy essence to escape to Ordinary Reality.

☐ French kiss Sir Barsanuphius the Bold passionately while caressing his shapely buttocks with both hands, and with the other hand, take the keys to Ordinary Reality from his belt.

☐ Knuckle down, work hard and keep training to one day make the squad list of The Holy Empire's football team, and at the first away game, desert the team and threaten to reveal secrets about Sir Barsanuphius the Bold if he tries to stop you from escaping.

☐ Start a news service called "Holy Naked News" where you fart on Sir Barsanuphius the Bold the entire time and get booted out of the Dreamed Realm for crimes against decency.

☐ Convince monks from the Archregimancy to open a portal so that you can escape Sir Barsanuphius the Bold because he is a heretic that cannot be trusted because the smug look he gives in his official photos and just the general vibe and aura he gives off in his crusade against a chocolate drink he has no business hating and the fact that he once told you that the Archregimancy monks were stupid bum bums.

☐ Eat as much food as possible such as whale blubber and bacon and then play dead once Sir Barsanuphius the Bold catches you by going into wintry hibernation by reducing your body temperature, reducing breathing and heart-rate, making him feel guilty, which will make him toss you back to Ordinary Reality.

☐ Shave Sir Barsanuphius the Bold's entire body from head to toe and pluck every single hair possible from his body so that his new nickname becomes Sir Barsanuphius the Bald, which will embarrass him so much that he will have no choice but to leave you alone to regrow his hair, giving you the opportunity to escape.

☐ Manipulate time in the Dreamed Realm by moving time towards the inevitable heat death of the entire multiverse where entropy will render the entire Dreamed Realm utterly destroyed, thus allowing you to escape Sir Barsanuphius the Bold's clutches but also ensuring that you will die in the process.

☐ Secretly write an article on The Turnip about escaping the Dreamed Realm and Sir Barsanuphius the Bold, and hope that Twiis and comments on the article below will provide a better method of escaping the Dreamed Realm than the ones that are currently in your head right now.

☐ Dress up in Sir Barsanuphius the Bold's full suit of armour while tying him up and locking him in a room, and pretend to be him by heading up an international commission into the Cocoa-bo drink as an excuse to leave the Dreamed Realm into Ordinary Reality, but inadvertently get caught up in travelling from nation to nation to interview witnesses before finding Cocoa-bo not guilty of anything at all, and running away once you declare such a thing.

by **Eraman** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 5:43 am

CHAPTER 10
PUTRA DAULAPURA WIKRA PETARA

Eraman then travelled to The Kytler Peninsulae only to be handed their third straight draw. The Tun Sengalang Petara boys again made life harder for themselves by conceding an early goal in the 10th minute.

Eraman spent the next 70 minutes trying to find the equalizer. Only in the 81st minute, they managed to get the equalizer through the Apoxian-based wonderkid, Putra Daulapura Wikra Petara.

Eraman kept their momentum and tried to find the winner but time was not on their side. The match ended 1-1.

The boys headed to Pasirpura for their last match in the first half of the campaign to play Kuriko. It's a must-win match as Kuriko is bottom of the group and Eraman can't afford to go on a 4-matches winless streak if they harbour any hope of qualifying to the World Cup.

The boys didn't disappoint as young Putra Daulapura Wikra Petara again came on from the bench to score in 2 consecutive matches.

Putra Daulapura Wikra Petara is the nephew of head coach, Tun Sengalang Petara and the younger brother of team captain, Putra Daulapura Suara Petara. The young prince was sent to train in the Center of Excellence in Apox at a young age.

He is yet to sign a professional contract but has just scored his second international goal in his second international appearance. A disciplined model citizen, a lot is expected from the young prince.

The goal in the 82nd minute of the game proved to be the only goal of the match. Eraman finally got their first win since the victory against Valanora. The results put Eraman in 3rd place behind group favourite Valanora and Pasarga.

by **The Jovannic** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:06 am

The Sarian expose The Jovannic's defensive mistakes in 4-0 loss.

The Jovannic 0-4 The Sarian: another one
The match started out ok with both teams vying for the first goal. Our attack did not manage to break through the stout Sarian defence even after repeated attempts. Eventually, the Sarian got the first goal in the 40th minute as a sudden counter attack broke down the defence. The second half started horribly when The Sarian got the ball in the 47th minute and tricked the Jovannic defence. Mavin Tsuniki had little chance with the well placed shot. This looked like it broke down the Jovannic morale as 2 more goals went flying in in the space of 10 minutes. It was only after the introduction of Santi Clafus when The Jovannic regained composure and managed to prevent the Sarian from scoring more goals. "Just a few minutes of bad play can ruin a team's chances of victory. This was what happened to us. We broke, toke too long to regroup and let in a plethora of goals. We can't make these kind of mistakes in the next match." Gothal Mathee said after the match.

The Jovannic's next match is against Chromichatika, who after a torrid start to the season, are picking up the pace with several good wins. Against a higher ranked team, The Jovannic will have to be wary and play well to have a shot at winning.

[box]Starting Eleven
Mavin Tsuniki, Kish Dasny, Raye Eng, Kallin Yustat, Nivario Wesh, Stocktain Lelop, Gavon Simoli, Rivilia Yunsala, Sani Ning, Santi Clafus, Jovan Ilohil/box]

by **Sarzonia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:22 am

Moments after the crowd at Dave Wilson Stadium serenaded the Sarzonian national football team with boos following a 3-3 draw against Simpralia that left the side trailing a qualifying spot by five points, Brady Reynolds and Clayton Wilson were nowhere to be found in the team's dressing room. For that matter, so was defender Russ Howard, the former captain.

Sarzonia coughed up a two-goal lead in the last 10 minutes despite manager Kevin Connelly making defensive substitutions in an effort to secure the points needed to keep pace for a spot in the World Cup proper.

"I'm at my wits' end," Wilson admitted as the three men sat in the custodial closet in order to avoid their conversation getting out to the rest of the squad. "I'm trying to do everything I can think of to keep the team motivated for a full 90 minutes and we're just not getting results."

He looked down at the floor, looked up at Howard and said, "I'm not ready to be a leader on this team and I'm no captain. Please, tell Coach I don't want the armband anymore and I want you to be captain again."

Howard looked back at Wilson. There was no way that Wilson could know the thoughts running through the veteran defender's mind. Howard was tempted to dismiss his young teammate's admission of doubt with snark. You're on your own, kid, he thought about saying. Being descended from Sarzonian football royalty was bad enough. Being so young and not only being thrust into the starting 11, but also being assigned the captain's armband by Connelly, who acted without consulting the players, was even worse.

However, he quickly had another set of thoughts. Clayton Wilson didn't ask to come from a family as revered by Sarzonians as the Wilson family is. It wasn't his fault that his father was the chairman, president and CEO of the Incorporated Football Federation, or that his grandfather held those roles before his father did. Or that Clayton was the grandson of a former Stars manager and World Cup legend Brian Wilson, not to mention the grandnephew of assistant manager Kevin Wilson. And the great-grandson of Dave Wilson, whose name adorned the stadium the team was sitting in as fans filed out in disgust.

Not only that, but Howard remembered how Clayton Wilson approached every training session from Day One as Bryan Ostrom was still manager. He put his head down, worked hard, in fact, he was a little too scrappy. He was determined to make his mark on the Stars completely on his own merits. And now, Clayton Wilson was showing incredible humility by seeking advice and by offering to give up the leadership role that was thrust upon him.

Howard also thought back to his conversation with Reynolds where the playmaking midfielder challenged the former captain to step up his work rate. His hardened countenance melted away and he offered a smile.

"No, Clayton, this is your team," Howard said. "You can only do so much as a captain. The armband doesn't give you superpowers that can force players to actually play well. What I will do is recommit myself to supporting you. I'll do everything I can to make sure we all listen and take your instructions to heart."

Wilson blinked for a moment, paused, then turned to Reynolds. By now, Reynolds somehow knew that Wilson would ask him to take over the armband. Wilson was no Keaton Durbridge. No one on the Stars really was, but Reynolds was the most likely candidate. But Wilson didn't know that Connelly originally asked Reynolds to wear the armband and Reynolds turned it down.

"I don't want the armband," Reynolds said. "I didn't tell anyone this, but Coach asked me to wear the band. I don't want the role. I prefer to be more behind the scenes." Wilson's eyes widened when he realised that Reynolds declined the armband.

"I want to support you," Reynolds said. "I want the team to play better. I want us to avoid the trap in Welzat because we've got Nephara coming to Woodstock right afterwards. I don't want the responsibility of the armband.

"You're doing fine as captain. We got off on a good run and Acronius are inexplicably good for some reason. As for Simpralia, we just played poorly. It happens. We just gotta make sure it doesn't happen like that again."

Group 7
Darmen 1–4 Jeruselem
South Charlia 1–1 Delaclava
Competitive Solitaire 0–1 Acronius
Sarzonia 3–3 Simpralia
Huayramarca 1–1 Welzat
Great Lausitz 0–3 Nephara

*  Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Nephara                                      14   13   1   0    56    8  +48    40
 2 Jeruselem                                    15   10   2   3    41   23  +18    32
 3 Darmen                                       14    8   3   3    37   25  +12    27
 4 Sarzonia                                     15    8   3   4    37   32   +5    27
 5 Acronius                                     15    8   1   6    31   30   +1    25
 6 Welzat                                       15    5   6   4    17   22   −5    21
 7 Delaclava                                    15    5   4   6    39   39    0    19
 8 Simpralia                                    15    4   5   6    21   27   −6    17
 9 Aimena                                       14    5   2   7    15   28  −13    17
10 Huayramarca                                  15    3   5   7    28   37   −9    14
11 Great Lausitz                                15    3   3   9    18   28  −10    12
12 Competitive Solitaire                        15    3   2  10    12   33  −21    11
13 South Charlia                                15    1   3  11    12   32  −20     6

SCHEDULE:
MD 1: @ Delaclava^ W, 6-4
MD 2: v. Acronius L, 0-2
MD 3: @ Simpralia (Glory Park, capacity 122,000) W, 5-3
MD 4: v. Welzat L, 2-4
MD 5: @ Nephara L, 1-4 (Farham Arena, Sabrefell, capacity 88,046)
MD 6: v. Great Lausitz W, 1-0
MD 7: @ Huayamarca (Estadio Olímpico del Oriente, Sechura, capacity 26,000) W, 4-2
MD 8: BYE
MD 9: v. Competitive Solitaire W, 1-0
MD 10: @ South Charlia W, 2-0
MD 11: v. Darmen D, 2-2
MD 12: @ Aimena W, 2-0
MD 13: v. Jeruselem D, 2-2
OFF DAY
MD 14: v. Delaclava W, 5-3 (game played at Pride of Manchester, capacity 110,000)
MD 15: @ Acronius L, 1-3
MD 16: v. Simpralia D, 3-3
MD 17: @ Welzat (Sir James Tretol Memorial Stadium, capacity 19,595)
MD 18: v. Nephara
MD 19: @ Great Lausitz
MD 20: v. Huayramarca
MD 21: BYE
MD 22: @ Competitive Solitaire
MD 23: v. South Charlia
MD 24: @ Darmen (Stadio Rushmore, Johnho, capacity 70,000)
MD 25: v. Aimena
MD 26: @ Jeruselem (Dazza Dallas Stadium)

^Match was played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

Note: Except for the match in Manchester, Delaclava, all of Sarzonia's home matches will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, capacity 105,900.

by **PotatoFarmers** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:34 am

Poafmersia 3
Makana Tuft 8', 84'
Hansel Tang 36'

Qvardax 4
(Scored at 17', 44', 55', 70')

Starting 11: Dikash Johikas; Mandy Gibson, Danzik Hoboson (c), Qetisan Monson; Dargis Walshor, Daas Taisg, Donk Mason, Jessie Mchargarita; Hansel Tang, Makana Tuft, Likarish Gyits
Substitutes: Pasits Rikachz (Gibson 62'), Alex Hoboson (Monson 78')

For Poafmersia, the side needs to desperately find back its home form to allow the team to get the big matches against Filindostan and Reçueçn settled. For the match against Qvardax, the home fans were very upset as Makana Tuft's first brace for the national team did not help the home side to grab the 3 points needed to keep up.
Defensive mistakes were on display, as Adnan attempted to rotate in some fringe players in exchange for giving the main players some rest ahead of the trip to Damukuni. However, instead of taking this time to show their abilities, they made errors which gave opportunities to the opponents to score. Even though substitution of the main defenders did help to steady the ship, it was too little and too late. The sole positive point was Makana Tuft, who troubled the opposition defence frequently and showed lots of potential, converting many excellent assist and making the most shots by one person.
The match was one to forget, especially on a brutal night where 6 teams were the first teams to be eliminated from qualification. In Group 15, Revatnagar became the first team to be eliminated from contention, holding a solidary point till today. Group 9 produced 3 eliminations, the biggest of the night. But most importantly, Poafmersia is now behind Quebec in 5th place, and a whole 10 points behind the second team. For Adnan, it is back to the drawing board as he figures out how to efficiently use his side midfielders in a 3-4-3 without compromising on the defence. As he told reporters, "Improving our defence is important and we need to work on it real quick before we get punished for it."

Group 15                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brenecia                               15   13   1   1    48   24  +24    40
 2 Reçueçn                                14   11   1   2    29   10  +19    34
 3 Filindostan                            15   10   2   3    38   14  +24    32
 4 Independent Athletes from Quebec       15    8   3   4    31   26   +5    27
 5 Poafmersia                             15    7   3   5    31   26   +5    24
 6 Damukuni                               15    5   6   4    32   36   −4    21
 7 Emastalia                              15    4   7   4    25   29   −4    19
 8 Andromeda Island Group                 15    4   5   6    19   26   −7    17
 9 Crystalline Caverns                    14    4   4   6    12   16   −4    16
10 Qvardax                                15    4   3   8    27   36   −9    15
11 Shokpos                                15    3   2  10    19   26   −7    11
12 The Grearish Union                     15    2   4   9    21   37  −16    10
13 Revatnagar (E)                         14    0   1  13    17   43  −26     1

by **Flavovespia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:52 am

Croxlich

The First Kit

Formed in 72BU, Croxlich were one of the earlier city teams to exist, in an era when many teams were still based on industries or local societies. This first kit doesn’t bear a huge resemblance to their current colours, it’s a simple plain white shirt with black long shorts and socks. A decade would be spent in these colours, before a switch to navy blue, the start of a chain of many kit colour changes for the East Coast side.

Celebrated Classic

This kit was worn from 22BU-20BU, in the first 3 years of the United and Eastern Alliance following the merger of the United Football League and Eastern Alliance, following the row with the GWNFA. This kit would also be the last navy blue kit for several years, as Croxlich changed colours to a lighter blue the following year. This kit featured a vertical white stripe outlined with light blue. Whilst it isn’t the most complex template, it’s a look that when does right looks good, and to the voters here, it certainly did that. Winning the United and Eastern Alliance in this kit in 21BU certainly helped. A good example of a classic kit design, from the decade that produced many fine kits.

Modern Marvel

Whilst Croxlich fans rarely seem to agree on what kit colour they should be wearing, most can certainly agree that this kit was a great design. Somewhat inspired by older kits, this 27AU kit features a three tone stripe down the body on both sides. Differing shades of blue paid homage to the shades worn in the past, and the white collar and cuffs worked well. Sadly the team didn’t see success on the field in this kit, relegated in 14th from the Super League, and thus the kit was dropped after a season.

Colour of Success

6BU is the year chosen for Croxlich as their most successful year. Not a team who’s had major success in their past, this season is significant as after winning the United and Eastern Alliance Premier Division, a 2-2 away goals victory over Havermilly put them into the GWNFA Super League for the first ever time. Croxlich played in all white but with a combination of light blue and dark blue trim. This kit was a template kit from the time, and shows that the excesses of previous seasons seem to be fading, but these designs still had some complexity to them.

Fashion Disaster

12AU, rather than 12BU “wins” in this category for once. For whatever reason, this kit decided to mix up the stripes by adding a diagonal pattern into the stripes. It didn’t work, making the kit look too complicated, untidy and cluttered. A template worn by a handful of teams in this year, it’s no surprise after a year it was binned off for a more conventional design. Voted the worst for Croxlich, a little bit surprisingly, as there were other designs more hated by certain sections of the fanbase. This one seemed to have a negligible amount of fans like it, as opposed to other more controversial designs due to varying colour palette changes.

by **Cassadaigua** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:18 am

The Royal Family- Prince Clint,
by Hannah McCarthy, Concord Heights Times

There are two more figures that I wish to talk about in this series before putting a period on it. Once again, I want to thank everyone for reading. So far, we have talked about the first three children of the former Queen Courtney, the second of which was our current Queen, Cassie II. We have talked about her older sister, Caitlyn, and the third oldest child, Crystal. I want to talk about Courtney I’s two other children here as well, because each of them also do serve important roles in Cassadagan society, though can get overlooked. That would be Clint, who was the only boy of Courtney’s children, and then the youngest of her children, Cori. Here we look at Clint, who’s position growing up of having four sisters pretty much meant that he would never have a chance to serve on the throne. That did not have to mean that he would have no role at all.

As a kid, Clint was not one who looked to talk about his royal status when he went to school, the same private school commonly mentioned in this series within Concord Heights. In his younger ages, he would blend in with the rest of the students pretty well, showing an eagerness to learn, but never talking about his status as a Prince all that much. When someone would mention it too him, he would dismiss it, thinking that it never mattered. He was still growing up in a time where we would not see the men’s rights reforms quite yet that his sister, the eventual Queen Cassie II, would eventually see. Therefore, he didn’t think it really mattered that he was a Prince. Clint was shy and reserved, and especially did not like talking to the girls in his class. Around fourth and fifth grade, Clint began to understand and appreciate his role a little more, but often said things to his peers or the teachers about why Cassadaigua can’t be “like a normal country where it would be cool to be a Prince”. His teachers explained to him the honor and distinction that came with the title, but with having four sisters, it did not seem very exciting. Even his younger sister, Cori, would be ahead of him line, because any female child is ranked ahead of any male child.

In junior high, Clint began to realize and appreciate his role a lot more in knowing that he would have some sort of position of leadership. Some of his male friends began to tell him that he should, “Do something with it and make it so men can be just like women in this country.” At 14, he met Preston I. Grant, the President at the time of Male Equality Now (MEN), and he viewed the meeting with Grant as inspiring. In a more recent interview, Prince Clint said that the talk with Grant was life changing, “That man was very bright, so I was inspired by talking to him. He was a civil rights activist that we can all appreciate, leading men’s rights protests in a peaceful manner, but one that would get strong support. He did a lot of great things for men, even if he was not alive to see everything. I know that he would say that there was still some work to be done, but I am grateful now for what has been done.” Clint was smart in his studies, and that continued throughout high school. The one thing that he struggled with was approaching women. There was the inevitable group of females that wanted to get to know him just because he was a Prince, and he knew that he could never trust him, and then the simple fact that in having four sisters, he really did not want to be bothered with it at this point. Clint did not play any sports, and was not a member of any clubs, such as the debate club which would be common for members of the royal family to join. Heather Mobley, his 12th grade Calculus teacher said that, “Prince Clint never really made an effort to separate himself from the rest of the student body, so it was easy to forget that he was a member of royalty. I guess that is a very good quality in a way, but if you didn’t already know his status, you would not have known. He would always downplay it, too, when people tried to talk about it.”

Clint would be accepted into many different schools, but in the end would choose the University of Concord Heights after seeming to be close to attending to New Lakeland University. In the end, he wanted to be close to home, and liked the curriculum at UCH a little better. Once in school, Clint would grow up a lot, and would actively attend a lot of parties, and become the first member of the royal family to join a fraternity. Matthew Holcomb, a friend of Prince Clint’s said that, “If you ever gone to a college like this, you know what its like. Prince Clint was that kid who never did anything wrong when growing up, and now that he was in college, it was like an alarm went off in his head and we would want to make up for a lot of lost time. He was a very good partier, and someone that you would definitely want on your beer pong team!” While Clint was embracing the party lifestyle, it did not come at the expense of his academics. He did very well in all of his classes, and did not get into any trouble. Therefore, his parents were not concerned about the partying getting in the way of things. He would start to become very assertive towards women all of the sudden, and preferred the single life with them. Clint would graduate from the University of Concord Heights with a 3.6 GPA, though was still single.

After graduation, and showing that he was ready to be a leader, then Queen Courtney assigned Prince Clint the Victoriaville region in which to govern, and this is where he continues to be. Under his steady guidance for decades, the Victoriaville area, in the western portion of Cassadaigua has thrived. At 33, Clint eventually would become married to a woman he met there named Kelsey, and they have gone on to have three kids, Carl, Craig, and Cortnie. The Prince remains in the Victoriaville area for the vast majority of his time, but will make the trip to Concord Heights for special events. While under the radar in terms of other members of the royal family, Clint lives a healthy life, and is well respected.

That will be the end of this one. I will have one more story coming up in this series, and that will come in a couple days. In the meantime, check out the recap from Chelsea Dufresne over the World Cup 85 qualifying victory over Olastor, a well-played 3-0 win, elsewhere on the website.

Cassadagan Goal Scorers: Rachel Schanke (27'), Meghan Wolcott (59'), Meghan Wolcott (63')

by **Nephara** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:21 am

Great Lausitz 0 - 3 Nephara
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 18 - Longship, 22 - Lockheed, 6 - Brosch (vc), 3 - Close (c, 19 - Muscadin 78'); 7 - Westerveld, 15 - Kastriot, 8 - Reach, 11 - Strongbow (16 - Deventer 74'); 14 - Tzorvas (17 - Avetisyan 59'), 23 - Lovelace
Goals: Reach 18', Lovelace 40', Westerveld 67'

Extract from the Book of Close.

We have started to think the most dangerous idea in football; 'this is our year'.
We've won every match since nearly choking on dust in Huayramarca. The last three have been a 13-0 rout on aggregate. It could have been more. Get the first XI on the pitch and it would've been more, but Strauss is sensible, knows we need to rest too. No point in rocking up to the World Cup only to be dead on our feet. Might as well just pick 23 from the Premiership at random.
Michael Brandon was a more aggressive rotator, but his only failing was that we never got far in the World Cup. While it's important for us to catch a breather every now and again, Strauss recognises the need to have the guys who bonded with each other in qualifying resemble the real deal between seasons. We haven't seen anyone - maybe Aranea - who I've thought, 'yeah, no way are you on the plane'. There's no need to chase after small-time no-hopers or next big things. There's enough current big things.
It means Arista's back, and she wants everyone to know about it. Signs are good she'll be sticking around to the end. Paulinthal's been good to her, and it was very much her last chance after things went off the rails a bit. She's also, unlike Voska, actually Nepharan. But the lads gripe because Arista's one of those who doesn't know to take it a little easy in training. More than once she's gone in on someone studs up, with a shot at seriously damaging one of us. She tackles like a turnstile at the best of times. I keep having to take an arm 'round her shoulder, telling her to take it easy, she keeps smiling and nodding and not doing it... it's enough to drive a man to despair.

It's not entirely sunbeams and roses through the rest of the camp. We all love and respect Ro Strongbow. She is the queen. But she is also the wrong side of thirty, and the half-century of goals hangs over like the Sword of Damocles. She's at 49 right now. This is meant to be her final year, and she's started to realise it might not happen for her. Might. I wouldn't be surprised to see her lobbying to start against some of the minnows down the line, see if she can scratch one in a thrashing or two.
Don't shout around, but at this stage? Morena Deventer might be the better winger. She'd probably press the case herself, but the girl doesn't have a shred of ambition in her, just her usual mercurial changeling bitchery. Mostly right now she's focused on calling our wizard a fake. Solitaire takes it in dignified stride. She doesn't let anything phase her, even having a country apparently named after her. Certainly doesn't let Morena get to her. Or at least, doesn't show it too obvious - but then, she has predicted her horrible and lonely and premature death at least four times by now. But then, Morena's maybe just fucked for real.
Some of us pay attention to the wizard. Ilyana most of all, I think; her talismans have been multiplying. I think most of us, though, are just kind of ambiently happy to have her around. As an international footballer in this day and age, you see a lot of shit that you really shouldn't have to. Talking horses, Dreamed Realms, reality cannon. It's good to know someone at your back is paid to deal with those kinds of spirits on your behalf, and let you get on with your job.

What's our secret? Well, the boss talks a good game about how we prepare for, say, South Charlia, the same way we'd prepare for Vilita. Not true. Against Vilita - or, more relevant to our situation here, Darmen - we know what their playing style is, we know who the threats are. Most of the minnows, there really isn't much scouting work that can be done. We focus our efforts elsewhere, watch some tapes and mostly just bank on our squad being better than theirs.
The boss also talks up being competitive and confident, never complacent. To the point it's become kind of a meme going 'round the squad. Still, you drill an idea in hard enough and you get the results like we've been getting. At no point against any of the lower seeds do we think we can ease off and let the result happen. We're drilled to always assume a comeback is on the cards unless we can hammer it out of the realm of possibility. It's worked a treat to date, but we need the win over Huayramarca to get that monkey off our backs. Bonus: we're at home, no altitude. Downside: Huayramarca are actually decent, if a bit inconsistent. They've got results more often than they've lost, so they aren't just a favourable altitude.
We have to believe we'll smash 'em. But have to know, too, that we'll have to work for it. With every comprehensive smashing of a new poor sod in our way, we get more headlines, more attention, more momentum. And I'm starting to think, maybe, we can carry that all the way to the Final, six months from now.
This will be our year.

by **Cheergirls** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:33 am

Meghan Banks was preparing to travel out to Daskel, hoping that the team could continue to play well as they went on the road. There was becoming more publicity now to the whole cocoa-bo campaign, thanks to the efforts of Tara Milford’s mother who was become very vocal against the efforts to ban the substance while making personal attacks towards Sir Barsanuphius the Bold. The campaign got the attention of Hazel City High School principal Lauren Naylor, who said in a statement that, “The high school is at this time banning the usage of cocoa-bo products within the school until an independent study can be had to determine whether or not this, first and foremost, is not a substance that can impact the lives of teenagers in a harmful way. And secondly, to determine that it is not a performance enhancing drug.” Naylor has campaign to the conference officials in which the High School plays, that the substance be banned from all the schools that compete in the conference, but as of right now there has not been a response to that inquiry. This led to Tara Milford’s mother to declare that she would take Tara out of the school, however Tara herself has said that she did not want to leave it, and as of right now, still attends the school. That would not affect her role on the team other then to impact her emotionally.

Banks was also surprised and honored to be named to a commission that would investigate cocoa-bo products on a much larger scale. It seemed like a big responsibility for a 17-year old cheerleader to be a part of, but at the same time, she liked it. If she was not showing maturity about the whole thing, and proving that she could be a very good leader, then she would not have been approached for this. Banks responded that she would take it very seriously, and further stating that the team would no longer indulge in any cocoa-bo products for the rest of qualifying. Against Daskel, who is one of the weak teams in the group, the team was able to control the game from start to finish, and that led to a 2-0 victory. Banks posted on social media that “I am honored to have played in such a great game and can proudly say that like the last two games, there has been no cocoa-bo consumption by the team.”

by **HUElavia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:34 am

HUElavia records another Clean Sheet in Impressive Victory!

HUElavia 3-0 South Concepthuania
(Salgado 22', Moutinho 42' (P), Villca 68')

HUElavia came into Matchday 16 looking to continue their great run in the Qualifiers, coming off another pair of victories in the second Doubleheaders. These two victories saw HUElavia have their win streak at 4 matches, looking to go for their 5th victory. This time, HUElavia was looking for vengeance against South Concepthuania, who surprisingly defeated Los Amarillos on Matchday 3 by the scoreline of 3-2. The match was held at the recently built and opened Arena Valla, in the South-Central city of Valla, another stadium gaining its Baptism of the National Team visiting the venue. HUElavia was using their Home Uniform, with the B-Team once again in play, this time with Ricardo in goal.

The first half kicked off and HUElavia was on the attack from the start. HUElavia made sure to have total possession of the ball throughout the half, giving little to no opportunity for South Concepthuania to make an attack. Passes and Crosses were made left and right, with the forwards giving shots left and right, having it either saved by REDACTED or hitting the bars and posts, or narrowly going wide. The crowd was entertained but wanted more from the team. The team would react to this atmosphere in due time as in the 22nd minute, a cross by Almeida reached the left foot of Salgado, who gave a low but curving shot that went past two defenders and REDACTED into the goal to open up the scoreline, 1-0. The crowd celebrated with passion and cheers, as the stadium rumbled, while Salgado was mobbed by her teammates for the spectacular goal. HUElavia would continue to dominate the first half, playing to their tempo. Towards the end of the first half, Conti tried to run into the box to give in a shot, only to get clattered by REDACTED, making the referee call a penalty kick and give a red card without hesitation, giving Los Amarillos a chance to extend their lead. Moutinho stepped up and sent REDACTED the wrong way, as the ball went into the goal, making it 2-0 in the 42nd minute, with Moutinho celebrating with his teammates. A few minutes later, the first half ended 2-0, with the crowd satisfied with the performance.

The second half came, and HUElavia picked up where they left off. They continued attacking left and right, not giving South Concepthuania a chance to score or get near the defense. They continued to give South Concepthuania a hard time, putting in shots that would scare the defense and goalkeeper. All of this attack would result in a counterattack in the 68th minute, that saw Leblanc with the ball, seeing Villca run past two defenders, leaving her open, and Leblanc sent a long but low ball past the defenders with Villca onside, and Villca went one-on-one with REDACTED, chipping it over the goalkeeper and into the goal to make it 3-0. The crowd went crazy once again, jumping a lot to make the stadium rumble and applauding the great play as Villca celebrated with her teammates, satisfied with the scoreline. HUElavia then took it easy for the rest of the match, just killing time until the referee blew the whistle from 3 minutes of additional time. Los Amarillos extended their winning streak and took another 3 points in the qualifiers, taking revenge for the 1st leg of the qualifiers.

With the victory, HUElavia stays in 2nd Place with 36 points (12-0-3), behind Equestria who has 39 points (12-3-0). The big surprise of the Matchday was Xanneria and Kandorith drawing against each other 2-2, with Xanneria staying in 3rd place with 32 points (9-5-1), while Kandorith is in 4th place (8-4-3). We will visit Vdara next, playing with the Home Alternative Uniform and Lobato will start in goal with the A-Team playing. HUElavia is confident we can have a spectacular match at Vdara at VdarArena, as they look to keep pace with Equestria.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **TJUN-ia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:41 am

TJUN-ia doesn't really ask for revenge. It's not something that Jaguars are known for - we simply take what we are given and move on. But after losing the first game between us and Porticalia in MD3, Tiankong hosted a game where revenge would be on the cards. The Jaguars wanted to prove that they were improving as a team and getting their first home win against a team who beat them before would be a start.

The fans were excited as the game kicked off, but no one quite expected what the final score would be. Joe Green scored the first of the game in the 14th minute, but Porticalia bounced back quickly to level the score in the 18th. The game was tight from then on out, until Vladimir Podolov finally broke through to take the lead back in the 34th. Kepo Ulawaya added a 3rd just before half time (45th+1), to ensure that all 3 forwards would be on the score sheet tonight.

The 2nd half started off poorly, as Porticalia got a goal back in the 49th to say "we're not dead yet". They would eventually fall, however, in the 76th as Nicolas Umkala of all people headed in a corner. Not the person you would expect to score in that scenario, but you take it anyway. Then came a bit of magic in the 84th minute. Kim Won-an, the only player from the CEA in our team, was brought on to replace Peliniho. The crowd applauded him onto the field. TJUN-ia had a throw-in just outside the box. Pedro Vasquez threw the ball to Kim, who then proceeded to dance his way past 5 players before slotting it past the Porticalian GK. The stadium erupted and the whole team celebrated with him (including Gylfisson, who ran all the way from his box). JBBST Sport reacted appropriately.

#1: The crowd are going to love this. Kim Won-an is coming on.
#2: We don't really see Kim that much but we're leading 4-2 with a few minutes to go, so why not get the local guy on?
*Stadium Announcer: Substitution for TJUN-ia. 替换为TJUN-ia. Off comes number 8, Peliniho. 第八名，佩里尼奥. To be replaced by number 6, Kim won-an. 由数字六，金元健一个替换.*
#1: And the crowd goes wild, as expected. Now time for a throw-in by Vasquez. He gives it to Kim. Kim, dribbling the ball. Kim, past one guy. Kim, past another! And Another! And Another! That's 5! Can he go all the way?! YES! HE CAN!
#2: Whoa nelly!
#1: Now that's how you do it, folks! Seconds after coming on, Kim Won-an has blown the roof off of Tiankong Stadium! It's TJUN-ia 5, Porticalia 2 and he will never score a better goal in his life! Gylfisson has joined his teammates in the celebrations and WHY WOULDN'T HE?!

A great game all around as TJUN-ia finally won a game on home soil, and now we have 6 points in "The Quest For More Than 11 Points". Next up is a game of lower expectations: we're off Ciarkhan to play 3rd place Sajnur, who need to beat us to keep pace with Audioslavia. We could play spoiler in this game, but the odds are still with the home side. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Updates on stadiums will occur as soon as we get them)
MD1: @Audioslavia (22) - Arena Kirola, Cathair L 1-2 (T-9th)
MD2: vs Euran Oceania Territories (84) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (T-9th)
MD3: @Porticalia (330) L 0-1 (T-10th)
MD4: vs Sajnur (57) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (12th)
MD5: @Jeckland (UR) - Jecken Stadium, Rack City W 2-0 (10th)
MD6: vs Natanians and Nosts (131) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky L 0-4 (11th)
MD7: @Villablanca (235) W 6-1 (9th)
MD8: BYE (10th)
MD9: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 4-4 (10th)
MD10: @Necosia (341) D 4-4 (9th)
MD11: vs Turori (12) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-5 (10th)
MD12: @Astograth (303) - Castle Hill, Gesterlake D 0-0 (10th)
MD13: vs Muradil (212) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City D 2-2 (10th/2W-5D-5L/-4GD/11pts)
-----------------------Off Day---------------------------
MD14: vs Audioslavia (22) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-1 (11th)
MD15: @Euran Oceania Territories (84) - Flynn Arena, Fligsive W 4-1 (10th)
MD16: vs Porticalia (330) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-2 (8th)
MD17: @Sajnur (57) - Niurka Stadium, Ciarkhan
MD18: vs Jeckland (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD19: @Natanians and Nosts (131) - Stadion Nacional (?)
MD20: vs Villablanca (235) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD21: BYE
MD22: @New Lusitania and the Algarves (42) - Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto
MD23: vs Necosia (341) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD24: @Turori (12)
MD25: vs Astograth (303) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
MD26: @Muradil (212)

by **Zwangzug** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:29 am

(Goalscorers against Vakolicci Haven and Celeria: Arokiaraj 5, Munshi 29, Cherenkov-Nguyen 58, Saitta 61. This one is about MD13 against Mkabia (sort of). Source!)

Come run away with me and we'll see nations near and far
I can be the navigator by your northern star
How many words of guidance by strange AI can you bear?
How much does history weigh down before it is unfair?
Oh, come with me and we'll rise again from every burning flame
The ashes left behind after the game.

Guariday is singing, hope takes root where Zwangzug play.
Ask Sibal the defender, are you home or still away?
We hung around the stadium, don't want to climb the trees.
The sheriffs smuggle contraband, they get away with ease.
You speak about the distant histories, though finding words is hard.
The captain broke the laws and drew a card.

I love the team, my voice is drowned amid adoring cheers
You love them and you've found that love will carry through the years
Beside you I am screaming, I don't care if I go deaf
In any language, fans unite to curse against the ref
"That was offsides and you know it, I could do a better job
With one good eye"--the fervent, faithful mob.

Come with me and we'll drink the Cocoa-bo, bitter and sweet
We'll taste the Turnip and award the writers on the Beet.
All that we feel is the zeitgeist of World Cup Eighty-Five
So many nations pulsing, what a time to be alive
And at full time when the whistle sounds they still will hear us sing
Imagining what next matchday will bring.

The keeper wears bright colors when the rest are white and black
The captain worships the Trimurti, stymies each attack.
She lights and burns and breathes out all the candles in her shrine
Her muscles only ache after she steps outside the line
Beyond the blooming gardens, life's a long string of defeats
But grass will ground her underneath her cleats.

I wish that you were here with me to take in every pass
I know you'd be astounded by the life within the grass
We'd chant the parodies from tournaments both new and old
And Guariday would echo back the stories it's been told
About forty-six and forty-three, what their labors would yield.
I'll meet you in the trees beyond the field.
I'll meet you in the trees beyond the field.

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:34 am

Part 1 (Sue)
Part 2 (Sue)
Part 3 (Emanuel)
Part 4 (Sue)
Part 5 (Emanuel)
Part 6 (Emanuel)
Part 7 (Emanuel)
Part 8 (Emanuel)
Part 9 (Emanuel)
Part 10 (Emanuel)
Part 11 (Emanuel / Jeremy)

Emanuel snuck into the garden and picked up the water pistol and the skateboard. He left the trampoline where it was as he wasn’t an idiot. He placed the skateboard down on a nearby bush and placed the water-pistol on top of it. He opened his casaran-army knife and walked to the front of another building, one with four floors and, from counting the doorbells, about sixteen apartments. Perfect. He flipped a screwdriver out of his army knife and carefully dismantled the casing that housed the doorbells for each of the flats, making sure not to sound any of the bells themselves. He removed a heavy coin-sized magnet from behind each button, placing them all in his pockets as he did so and replacing the housing carefully afterwards.

He rearmed himself with the water pistol and walked slowly towards the fence. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get close to it without setting off the light sensors, but he could get to a reasonably well obfuscated position around ten feet from the fence, and therefore twenty-five feet behind his target.

His target was out of the security guards eye-sight, assuming he didn’t turn 120 degrees to his right. A green metal box, around thirty centimetres wide by twenty centimetres high, with a yellow lightning bolt symbol on it, sat atop of a short pole. If you looked carefully at the bottom of the pole you could see a number of cables heading underground, more or less going towards the gate. Whatever electronics were in here they were almost certainly controlling the gate, if not the entire security system itself. If you could take out the electric box without disturbing the guard, you could stop the gate from working. There was a lock on the metal box but Emanuel reckoned the box was not, at the moment, locked. If only you could apply enough force to counteract the rust of the hinges
the metal door of the box would swing down and open.

Hence the sixteen magnets.

If he could lob one accurately and gracefully enough to attach onto the front of the door of the box, the force of the magnet rebounding off the metal door and attracting it as it did so would surely be enough to swing it open. Doing that would be very hard. In order to be able to throw the magnet that accurately, Emanuel would need to spend twenty years of his life becoming a professional goalkeeper of international repute.

Ah yes. He’d already done that.

The first magnet hit the door with a loud, hollow ‘clang’ and bounced back down onto the concrete. Emanuel had already squatted out of view by the time the security guard turned in the general direction of the noise. After a minute, Emanuel poked his head back out and surveyed the box. The door was open, the security guard was back looking at his newspaper. Success. Now it was the water pistol’s time to shine. Sneaking forward a little further, Emanuel got just about close enough to stream a few seconds worth of water into the box, enough to cause a couple of sparks to fly and a faint flowering of white smoke to be emitted from the top.

Emanuel dropped the water pistol back in its garden, grabbed the skateboard and went to get a coffee.

When he returned, he found a jeep, a van and an argument.

“I swear I closed it”
“Well water has clearly gotten in”
“It’s not even been raining”
“Well either way it’s broken, innit?”
“Aye but it wasn’t me, it shouldn’t be broken”
“But it is broken”
“Well… bloody fix it then that’s what you’re here for isn’t it? C’mon, this gentleman is waiting to get his jeep in.”

Emanuel walked up to the back of the van, which was parked just about far enough behind the jeep so as to be outside the sensor range of the security equipment. He put his skateboard on the ground, lay on it on his back, and pushed himself under the van. So far, so much according to plan. The jeep ahead of him was a bonus. With the argument still in progress, Emanuel wheeled himself underneath the jeep and grabbed hold of something that looked sturdy.

The argument stopped. The power came back on. The gate opened. Two minutes later, the owner of the jeep returned to his car and started the engine. Emanuel braced himself. The jeep crept forward. Emanuel held on tight. The skateboard did its trick, despite wanting to turn slightly to the left, which Emanuel countered with his heel of his right boot. As the jeep approached the gradual slope down into the underground car-park, Emanuel had to adjust his grip to ensure he wasn’t about to roll faster than the jeep was travelling. He felt the ground level out once more, took a breath, and let go of the car, rolling back out from underneath it as the skateboard decelerated. Moving quickly, Emanuel kicked the skateboard somewhere safe and slipped into a door, opening an elevator and pressing the button for the ground floor.
 Emanuel walked through to the lobby and found a number of mailboxes. Finding no mention of either the names ‘Dolores’ or ‘Styrn’ he cursed his luck, got the elevator back down to the car park and looked for the entrance to the bottom of the second building. In the lobby of that one was a mailbox with the name ’D. Styrn’ and a number 9. Emanuel found the ninth apartment on the third floor, and found Dolores Styrn in a cynical mood.

“Emanuel Portico” said Emanuel. “I used to own the bar across town. The Printing Press. We had a.. erm.. a games night a few years ago. You did well.”
“HmmmmMMM?” *bap. bap.*
Emanuel didn’t know how to respond. The old lady stepped aside and held the door open, nodding Emanuel inside.

—

Bulls To Roar
Bullish Patterick Ready for Turori Test

Patterick has been here before.

Audioslavia had topped the group after the opening games with three wins from three and had arrived in Turori confident of getting a result against a team they’d never dropped points to in history. A cocoabo-fuelled Turori team won out, and a shell-shocked Audioslavia went on to win only three of their next seven games, drawing them back into the chasing back.

This time, Patterick remains as cautious as you’d imagine any manager to be who lines his team up with five defenders and zero strikers. And yet. There was a glimmer in his eye after an often comfortable victory over Necosia made it four wins from four for the Bulls.

“I feel we’ve moved through a couple of gears over the past two months” said Patterick, “Beating TJUN-ia and New Lusitania has given the lads a bit of belief. They’re interested to find out how well they’ll fare against the Eels.”

When asked exactly which Turori the Bulls would be facing, Patterick shrugged.

“We’re preparing for both. We’re confident we can beat either of them.”

However unrealistic the claim, a win could all but end the hopes of the chasing pack. With New Lusitania and Astograth having dropped further back and Sajnur entering a run of tough fixtures. It’s no secret that the 14-point deficit to Turori after 13 games was damaging to Audioslavian pride, but reducing that gap to just six would go some to repairing it.

Audioslavia, of course, can survive another loss to what is, after all, a vintage Turori team. There are plenty of games to go in this, the longest qualification session in World Cup history. Win or lose, what’s most important is that Audioslavia improve over the course of the qualifiers. Another shoogly run and not only will the team be considered no real threat after qualifying, they might not even be in the World Cup at all.

by **Filindostan** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:04 am

Haiku #0721

When I met this girl
In the viewing party here
I did fell in love

As the hosts scored first
We thought we already won
It wasn't to be

With the big match next
We hope we could win the match
So we'll be second

I gave her a gift
A large purple and black mug
For her tea and drinks

Hope in a few months
I could give her a flower
In which I'll confess

It wasn't to be
As she already told me
We're only colleagues.

by **Riennic Isles** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:26 am

The Riena Sentinel

Lake Esper 0-2 Riena
Wavelets bounce back with efficient win to dispel Saintland blues

Lake Esper: None
Riena: Ayanami (3'), Suenaga (45+2')

A quietly efficient victory away at fellow Baptism of Fire participants Lake Esper was the perfect response for Riena as they seek to keep pace at the top end of Group 14. Going into the match on the back of a disappointing goalless draw against Saintland, Kanata Shiranami's players rebounded with a thoroughly dominant display on the day, keeping Lake Esper at arm's length while scoring two goals at either end of the first half to wrap up a deserved win.

Mindful of issues with fatigue, Shiranami selected a heavily rotated starting XI to face Lake Esper, with only goalkeeper Miho Minato and central defensive pairing Mao Tsukamoto and Mana Amemiya remaining from her first-choice team. Despite ringing the changes, Riena were still too strong for a disjointed and disinterested Lake Esper, who were second best all over the pitch. Nowhere was this more evident than in the first goal of the game. The Lake Esper midfielder Jamie Venus sold his midfield partners short with a hospital pass, and Rinze Ayanami - not a player renowned for her pace - beat an inattentive Andrew Fairfield to the ball with yards to spare. With no other Riena players in support, Ayanami looked up, decided to go it alone, and sent a sweetly-struck shot curling past a flat-footed Sem Selbergh for her second multiversal goal. It was sloppy play from Lake Esper rather than scintillating Riena magic that led to Ayanami's opener - Venus, Fairfield and Selbergh were all at fault for the concession - and it would prove to be the enduring theme throughout the evening.

Bolstered by taking such an early lead, Riena began to dominate possession, hardly giving their opponents a sniff of the ball as they moved it about with customary flair. Having the lion's share of possession meant that Riena created a handful of very presentable chances; Emi Himemori came close with a near-post volley frantically clawed off the line by Selbergh, Tomoe Ishibashi curled a free-kick against the base of the post, and Rie Akamatsu towered above Kieran Grayling to meet Kano Uruha's delivery, only to see the ball thump into the overworked Selbergh's midriff. Thoroughly starved of possession, there was little Lake Esper could do to haul themselves back into the contest. Seeing Miho Minato off her line, Hadrian Salo tried to catch her out with a speculative effort from within his own half, but the Riena goalkeeper managed to get back in time, diving to punch the ball clear of her own crossbar at the last second. Aside from that lone attempt on goal, the game was one-way traffic. Given their dominance over the opposition, the only concern for Riena was that they could and should have had more goals.

But Riena did eventually make good on their superiority on the pitch, doubling their advantage on the stroke of half-time. Racing into the final third, Tsumugi Suenaga was illegally checked by Oliver Pemberley inside the Lake Esper area. Despite protestations to the contrary, the referee pointed to the spot without hesitation, and Suenaga picked herself up to blast an emphatic shot into the roof of Selbergh's net. Lake Esper head coach Cian Hargrave brought Charlie Kirksanton on for Ashmore for the start of the second half, presumably in a bid to wrest control of midfield back from Riena, but it proved to be ineffectual as Riena continued in much the same vein as they had in the first half, stroking the ball around with practised ease while retaining their edge in attack. Shizu Samukawa, who had menaced the Lake Esper defence throughout, had a powerful shot deflected wide by Fairfield, and Ayanami could count herself unlucky to be denied her second goal of the evening by the linesman's flag. Shortly after the hour mark, Shiranami substituted Kano Uruha and Tomoe Ishibashi for the more defensively-minded Kaede Igarashi and Sara Kirimiya, and thereafter Riena were able to close out the game with a minimum of fuss, content to retain possession in the middle of the park as their opponents chased shadows.

Riena's next match of these World Cup qualifiers sees them welcome North New South Wales to the Wavelet Arena. After getting back to winning ways against Lake Esper, the Wavelets will look to keep up their good form with a second consecutive win, and three more points in the bag, as they battle to stay in the hunt for qualification.

Lake Esper (2-3-3-2): Selbergh; Pemberley, Grayling; Fairfield, Ashmore, Venus; Carroway, Salo, Mirren; Gallant, Southwark
Substitutes: Rowntree, Kyneson, Treloar, Scieran, Kirksanton (45'), Blackburn (77'), Seabrook (70')

Riena (4-3-3): Minato; Uruha, Tsukamoto, Amemiya, Himemori; Kawakaze, Ishibashi, Akamatsu; Suenaga, Samukawa, Ayanami
Substitutes: Kugimiya, Igarashi (62'), Narita, Kirimiya (62'), Nakiri, Haneda (72'), Kanzaki

by **Hampton Island** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:30 am

Setting: Stadium CEO and Ambiguous Insurance Group CEO converse

Ambiguous: We are delighted to have this golden opportunity to forge a relationship with you and the soccer team, in general.

Stadium: It is an opportunity, we appreciate all of the sponsors that are willing to come aboard.

Ambiguous: That Hannah Sanders is a very bright young lady, wise beyond her years. It is almost as if she is a younger version of you.

Stadium: Yes, well let us discuss the contract shall we.

Ambiguous: The contract is written in plain english, just like one of insurance policies, sir. Go ahead.

Stadium: (looks at document): There are 62 pages here.

Ambiguous: As I said, it is simple and written just like one of our insurance policies.

Stadium: Obviously I need to read this over, because if it is like one your policies, then there is a clause somewhere in small print in the middle of this document when one will have been tired of reading, the pretty much excludes you from paying anything.

Ambiguous: Now, now, don’t be so harsh. We are going to be partners here, right?

Stadium (begins reading): So here, page 15, electronic sideline advertising must display logo from the 12th until the 19th minute. If it is one second short, then there will be a penalty of up to 33% of the per game advertising cost. That is so typical of you guys.

Ambiguous: You should be able to plug the information into a computer. I don’t see a problem with that.

Stadium: Ambiguous logo must be displayed in the background of all managerial press briefings at home games. If not, there will be a 20% penalty. Sir, I can’t control what Hannah Sanders does.

Ambiguous: She is your manager, who is doing great, by the way.

Stadium: The Carter twins will appear in at least two television commercials at no additional expense to Ambiguous. I suppose that is fair. But why them and not one of our players?

Ambiguous: Because the twins are much more attractive. Surely, that is the main reason why they are even assistant coaches to begin with.

Stadium: True. And what’s this on page 28? I knew I’d find it!

Ambiguous: You’re the first one that has ever read one of these word for word.

Stadium: If the game starts more then five seconds after the scheduled time, then Ambiguous does not have to pay anything for any of their advertising for the match. You seriously expect me to sign this now?

Ambiguous: We can call off everything, then. Fine.

Stadium: Fine.

Ambiguous: We offered a million dollar bonus to Hannah Sanders if this agreement was signed and she said something about you better sign the contract or you might not like her response. I don’t know what she really meant by that, but she had a very serious tone in her voice when she said that.

Stadium: She would. That ... Fine, but can I at least get a full minute on that page 28 clause?

Ambiguous: I suppose. Pleasure doing business with you. Remember with Ambiguous Insurance, we won’t cancel your policy if you make your all payments.

Stadium: What a terrible slogan.

Ambiguous: It works.

by **Balqia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 11:50 am

Every step made her look back, the sound of someone walking was starting to frighten her. Since the incident in the bedroom Mary couldn’t think right, something always seemed odd, her bed was a bit to the left since she last saw it, everyone tried to get a confession out of her. Now a note was between her papers.
“Locker Room, twenty minutes after the match” it was all it said. She complied, every resistance was futile, if they put their hands in her son the world was over, she didn’t knew what she would do. The room was dark, the bench was a bit sweaty and some towels where left in the floor. When the lights turned on she clenched her hands, something bad was coming.
— Hello.
She heard that voice before. It was just a little deep and almost inaudible.
— What do you want?
— I think I left my towel here.
They really where cynical, role playing even though both of them where alone.
— There’s a bunch of towels around here.
— It’s grey with white stripes in the bottom.
She looked around, there it was, in the corner. She pointed to it, maybe they had poisoned it, maybe a snake was wrapped inside. Or maybe a gun was there, he was going to kill her. It was too late now, he already had it in his hands.
— What were you doing here with the lights off?
— I… I like to spend some time alone.
— Me too!
Was he playing with her? Maybe he was buying time, trapping her there until the stadium was empty.
— So… you played very well.
Stariq was besides her, smiling.
— It was a close one, thanks Hadju for scoring the last goal.
He was just faking a conversation to lower her guard, she was seeing it coming.
— But Zay scored the three first, he is very good.
— They say he is the new Faj.
— And what do you think?
He thought a bit.
— That he is Zay.
Was that a joke?
— You did a good job too.
— Thanks, but I let three goals pass me.
— Everyone make mistakes.
He smiled.
— Maybe. So, I’m leaving, are you going to stay here?
— Yes.
He didn’t called her there, he was too calm and looked at her eyes during conversation. Stariq was just a strange guy at what it seems.
— Bye then.
— Bye.
He left the door open and the lights on. She stood there for twenty minutes, no one came. Maybe it was just a prank, or maybe they wanted to test her. She got up and went to the door, but before getting up she noticed that he left his towel there.
— What an air head.
It wasn’t wet, even though it was in the corner of the locker room. Something made noise when her hand wrapped it, a shiver went down her spine. She grabbed it, a piece of paper with handwrite in it.
“I know what’s going on. I can help” that was everything in it. So it was him that sent the note, the question now was if she could trust him or not.

by **Torisakia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:16 pm

Welcome back to another edition of Sports with Bort! I'm your humble as always host, Bort Stevens. Sorry for the lack of activity recently. My attorney has been borderline harassing me non-stop with the Kiragate investigation and I have almost no time to write anything down for even my friend Boharry to post. Luckily my time with helping the TBI is coming to an end as I'm pretty much out of information to give them, not like I had a lot in the first place. Although I've been acquitted of all charges, the TBI still seems to be suspicious of me. I don't know if they think I had something to do with the scandal or if I was a follower of Kiraism or what. Long time readers of this blog will know that back when Kiraism was a big thing in this country I specifically stated that it was a bunch of bratwurst. I can also provide clear alibi's if the TBI thinks I was involved in any murders or whatnot. I'm a sports writer on the internet, why would I want to murder anyone? All I do is threaten people online with violence for having player names that are unpronounceable and loot & pollute an unreliable source's backyard. But apparently that's too good for some people.

So fun fact of the day: Torisakia now has its most wins in World Cup Qualifying history, topping the 6 wins they had in World Cup 69. The Ice Birds notched their 7th victory against Jantor yesterday at Kirk & Hilton Heights. They didn't beat them as bad as they did in their previous encounter, but Torisakia still dominated the match. Both of Torisakia's goals came in the first half, while the second half was mostly mop up duty. I'll go ahead and attribute this to Andy Sanders' "Hold the Rope" moniker instead of assuming that Jantor wasn't a very good team to begin with. Our first goal came in the 17th minute from none other than Derek Lovel on a simple turn-and-shoot. The Jantor keeper didn't even react. I don't even know if he even knew where he was at or what he was doing. Hell their entire team seemed to be that way. That's probably what made this match and our previous match against them so easy, but you know..."hold the rope". Torisakia's next and final score came in the 33rd minute by Johnny Kelso on his usual "shoot from 30+ yards out and hope for the best" routine, but this time it worked. Torisakia went into half time up 2-nil and that would be all she wrote from there. Sanders pretty much pulled the important starters right out of the gate in the second half and let them play the rest of the way. Craig Novak, Brant Narciso, and Blake Dragan got some playing time so that's good for them. Jantor did absolutely nothing except space out the whole time and our guys were too busy picking dandelions from the touchline. Presidents City really needs to cut the grass at K&H, it looks like the Gonzalez Isle forest out there. Seriously some of our guys had to use machetes just to clear the way to see where they were going. In the end, Torisakia won 2-0 in an otherwise boring game. Everyone is too distracted by Kiragate to care, I guess.

JANTOR 0-2 TORISAKIA

Jantor:
None.

Torisakia:
Lovel

17'
Kelso

33'

Torisakia now has a 7-3-5 record and is still sitting at 6th place in Group 2. It seems like we're perpetually in 6th place. Would you believe that at one point we were tied for 2nd? I'd be put in a mental hospital if I told someone that about 5 years ago. The Ice Birds play Gyatso-kai next, this time on the road. Torisakia won the first meeting 1-0 at the Vinewood Bowl, although I was caught up in trying to get information about Cassidy McKenzie and Kal Skirata's relationship from years ago. Mind you...I never actually found out anything about that did I? I tried to ask that rude Sports History lady on the phone and she told me to fuck myself and that led me down the rabbit hole that led to Kiragate. Maybe the Kira Commission can find something on it. I'll ask my lawyer about it because I'm certain he'll call me 3 minutes after I get inside the bathtub. I have plans to install a landline in my bathroom though, so I don't miss any important calls. I could just bring my cell phone in there but the last time I did that I dropped it in the toilet as I flushed it and my phone got lost in the sewers. I think a sewer gator got a hold of it, because he took a selfie and posted it to my Instagram.

Well that's it for today's edition. Join me next time as I try in vain to complete every raid on World of Warcraft using only LFR and trying not to rage. I swear some people just shouldn't be allowed to play those types of games. If you want to ruin someone's enjoyment go be an agent for the TBI. Also if anyone has any information on Cassidy and Kal's past relationship, could you let me know?

by **Newmanistan** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:27 pm

THE ROCKET REPORT

IF THERE IS STILL ANY HOPE

By Brianne Henry,

All eyes will be on Keisler Stadium in Southport as Newmanistan plays a critical matchup with Krytenia that must result in three points. There is no room for error for these Rockets, especially after a recent draw to Omerica, but after the win last night in Qasden, there is still some room for hope. It is still a longshot, and only possible if Qasden hits a rough patch that extends well beyond our win over them. Still, the Rockets are 5-2-0 in their last seven games which corresponds directly to when Miguel Hernandez was fired. They are 4-2-0 under Michael Starre. Was Hernandez really that much of a problem? That’s a question that we can ask a little later on. For Newmanistan, the situation is this: four points behind Qasden, and they have a game on hand on us. It’s not impossible, but like I said, the Rockets must win games (and not draw), and they will need some help. They also must keep Krytenia behind them. Newmanistan is also a point behind Riena in the standings, but with a game left with them, they control their own destiny against that first time nation.

What we do know, is that you cannot play all nine games at once and watch Qasden do the same in their ten games. Tonight, it is all about the team in front of them, and that is the side from Krytenia. Sky blue against sky blue, someone has to get it done. They are four points behind us, but do have a game in hand on us. Are they realistically already eliminated? I don’t think so, and I am not just saying that because they are our next opponent. They have a situation just like us though. Must win. Forget any other alternative.

In their recent hot streak, Newmanistan has adapted well to the game plan of Michael Starre, which has seen the team look to more of a 3-3-4 system, which has occasionally led the team to start Samantha Paschke in favor of Scott Corellis. This system has led Tyrone Vannella to become more apparent in the offense, but even having said that, the team has been rotating very well which midfielder tries to sneak in to the offense along the wings. Against Qasden, it was Jarrell Connolly, and not Vannella, who was the targeted player, and Connolly picked up Newmanistan’s first goal of the match, in the 44th minute, that tied the match at one. The Rockets were the better team in the second half, throwing different looks at the Qasden lineup, and the huge game winning goal was scored by Jerome Beyer in the 71st minute. That was an uplifting moment for all of this team, and the critical road victory still gives this team a little bit of hope.

As we watched the game, and we saw these different schemes of Starre’s throughout the game, you could obviously see that he is now completely comfortable with the personnel that he has on the team, and how to best utilize them. However, we also wondered if former manager Miguel Hernandez was just a little too stale. Yes, he won the Campionato Esportiva, but as he has now gone, more critics are mentioning that the team advanced to the knockouts due to draws in the group stage mainly, and not wins. That is somewhat true, so perhaps there was a little something there that team need to fix up. Or maybe, the hiring of Starre was simply a wake up call to the team.

This game is Southport, the city that enjoys the richest history in baseball then any other city in the Empire. The stadium is named for the greatest pitcher of all time throughout the world (a fact that is not disputed by other active World Baseball Classic nations of her era), Stacey Keisler. She has moved on, but if the Rockets could get a little magic to rub off from baseball to help the sky blue nation that likes the more exciting version of a game that uses bats, then we would all be better for it!

World Cup 85 || RP Thread

WC-85 #15 MD16

Chapter 4b: Poor home form cause of concern

Boot It!: Revenge - Tiankong Style (w/ Rice)!

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