[Issue]Surf’s Down
[validity] Countries with internet, low income, no geronticide
[desc] @@CAPITAL@@ couldn't surf the internet for a day after an elderly @@DEMONYM@@ accidentally severed the capital’s sole fibre optic cable while scavenging for unused copper wires.
[option] "Punish this heinous property damage and theft at once by calling for a long sentence," bellows your Minister for Interior, who seems to be slightly peeved that @@HE@@ couldn’t stream the latest episode of Maim by Stones on WhoTube. "We must send a clear message that @@NAME@@ does not tolerate the destruction of vital infrastructure."
[effect] citizens are wondering whether @@LEADER@@ has a heart
[option] "Call off the prosecutors," tearfully pleads @@RANDOMNAME@@, the elderly @@DEMONYM@@ in question. "I had an impoverished life in the countryside, which forced me to move to the city to eke out a sad, miserable existence scavenging for wires with my fellow aged brethren. I don’t even know what the internet is. I know this country can ill afford much, but an increase in the aged pension would mean people like me don't have to scavenge again."
[effect] poverty-stricken @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ commit crimes in order to ask for more welfare
[option] "If it takes an accidental dig of a spade to bring the capital to its knees, then we must ensure that this will never happen again," pipes up concerned netizen @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose nose is scrunched by the musty odour of @@FIRSTNAME_1@@. "We need to invest in redundancies - have multiple, encased fibre optic cables coming out of @@CAPITAL@@, and a back-up satellite internet system. The internet must flow!"
[effect] fibre optic cables in @@NAME@@ are encased in layers of concrete and adamantium
