[Validity] Capitalist, alcohol is legal
[Description] Yesterday, the stock market of @@NAME@@ almost crashed due to the activity of a drunk banker. Various people are waiting in your office in the hopes that you would drink in their words.
[Option 1] "Let me do my job the way I want to", says Daniel Jacks, the drunk trader in question. "I can't even remember last night -- I mean, the last time I traded while sober. Yet, this is the first time anything like this has happened", he says as he walks into the doorframe while trying to leave your room.
[Effect 1] bankers are drinking away the pain of losing millions
[Option 2] "You wouldn't want a drunk doctor to perform surgery on you, would you?", asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the founder of Inebriateds In Incognito, an organisation dedicated to helping recovering alcoholics. "Clearly, anyone who is willing to drink while working is suffering from addiction. My organisation can help them get sober - if you increase our funding, that is."
[Effect 2] every @@CURRENCY@@ not lost to drunk traders is spent on getting them sober
[Option 3] "That isn't going far enough. Alcohol needs to be eradicated from society", insists teetotaler extremist Gina Bolisher, while holding her favourite cocktail, a Molotov. "We need to dump all of this horrible substance into the sea, and ban alcohol once and for all", she says, before blowing up your whisky cabinet.
[Effect 3] sea creatures are having a whale of a time
[Option 4] "This is not a drinking problem, this is a stock market problem", claims communist philosopher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while offering you a glass of moonshine from a questionable source. "The only way to prevent this market volatility is to abolish the free market altogether."
[Effect 4] drunk bankers are becoming drunk teachers, drunk surgeons, and drunk lorry drivers
[Description] Yesterday, the stock market of @@NAME@@ almost crashed due to the activity of a drunk banker. Various people are waiting in your office in the hopes that you would drink in their words.
[Option 1] "Let me do my job the way I want to", says Daniel Jacks, the drunk trader in question. "I can't even remember last night -- I mean, the last time I traded while sober. Yet, this is the first time anything like this has happened", he says as he walks into the doorframe while trying to leave your room.
[Effect 1] bankers are drinking away the pain of losing millions
[Option 2] "You wouldn't want a drunk doctor to perform surgery on you, would you?", asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the founder of Inebriateds In Incognito, an organisation dedicated to helping recovering alcoholics. "Clearly, anyone who is willing to drink while working is suffering from addiction. My organisation can help them get sober - if you increase our funding, that is."
[Effect 2] every @@CURRENCY@@ not lost to drunk traders is spent on getting them sober
[Option 3] "That isn't going far enough. Alcohol needs to be eradicated from society", insists teetotaler extremist Gina Bolisher, while holding her favourite cocktail, a Molotov. "We need to dump all of this horrible substance into the sea, and ban alcohol once and for all", she says, before blowing up your whisky cabinet.
[Effect 3] sea creatures are having a whale of a time
[Option 4] "This is not a drinking problem, this is a stock market problem", claims communist philosopher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while offering you a glass of moonshine from a questionable source. "The only way to prevent this market volatility is to abolish the free market altogether."
[Effect 4] drunk bankers are becoming drunk teachers, drunk surgeons, and drunk lorry drivers
