The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Mon Feb 03, 2020 2:39 pm

January Darkspawn Kill Points Ceremony

"Another month, gone. And now, as I understand it, the DKP Cup needs awarded. And the points stand as thus:

"Yes! Yes! Well done, Thomas. Well done, Thomas. However, recent events must be taken into account, and I have a few last minute points to award. To miss Hermoine Granger - A cool use of intellect when others were in grave peril... 50 points. Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess that Hogwarts has seen these many years... 50 points. And third, to Mr. Harry Potter for pure love and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor House 60 points. And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points to Neville Longbottom.

Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe a change of decoration isn't in order. Benevolent Thomas wins the Dawkspawn Kill Point Cup."

We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them.

We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it.

This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.

We will be providing more fun DKP reports with further analysis in the event that I do not win again. If you believe you had points awarded to you, but you do not see them here, that means you are not a Warden, nor have you opted into the DKP game. Please contact me if you wish to join in the game and if you'd like to know your total for the month of January.

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 12:04 am

The Three Wardens

Its like "The Three Doctors" but with First Wardens!

So Andraste said to her followers: "You who stand before the gates,
You who have followed me into the heart of evil,
The fear of death is in your eyes; its hand is upon your throat.
Raise your voices to the heavens! Remember:
Not alone do we stand on the field of battle."

First Warden Benevolent Thomas along with prior First Wardens Haku and Vincent Drake took to both updates today in an effort to shake off some rust. Minor update had its road-bumps with each First Warden realizing that they did not have switchers prepped once update had started. After narrowly missing the opportunity to defend a few attempted invasions, the trio were accompanied by Warden Lyna Mahariel for a baker's dozen (should I have said a Maker's dozen?) of detags. Major update, however proved to be quite a test for the Order's elite. Joined by RDF's p.rata, the Wardens had their switchers and abilities pushed to their current limits by a new band of darkspawn. Chamberlain Haku and Warden-Commander Vinny seemed more adept at the sheer speed of these skirmishes while the First Warden tried his hardest to keep up. This old mabari has learned a few new tricks tonight and he hopes to rise to the level of speed and skill gameplay currently requires of its First Warden. In all, thirty-seven regions were shielded from the blight.

by **Bowzin** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:57 am

Where's my DKP announcement?

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 9:36 am

Bowzin wrote:Where's my DKP announcement?

+100 DKP to Bowzin for quitting TBH

I was going to announce it with a little fanfare when posting about the month's totals, but I guess this boring post will do.

by **Yokiria** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 9:52 am

Benevolent Thomas wrote:
Bowzin wrote:Where's my DKP announcement?

+100 DKP to Bowzin for quitting TBH

I was going to announce it with a little fanfare when posting about the month's totals, but I guess this boring post will do.

Rewarding DKP to the Statsminister of Balder? Wardens are now imperialists, confirmed.

by **Bowzin** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:10 am

Benevolent Thomas wrote:
Bowzin wrote:Where's my DKP announcement?

but I guess this boring post will do.

Fitting

Yokiria wrote:Rewarding DKP to the Statsminister of Balder? Wardens are now imperialists, confirmed.

It was all part of my plan >:)

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 11:09 am

Bowzin wrote:
Benevolent Thomas wrote:but I guess this boring post will do.

Fitting

Yokiria wrote:Rewarding DKP to the Statsminister of Balder? Wardens are now imperialists, confirmed.

It was all part of my plan >:)

You should see how many you'd get for quitting Balder.

by **Zevret AG-6** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 11:16 am

Benevolent Thomas wrote:a baker's dozen (should I have said a Maker's dozen?)

A fenda's dozen.

by **Bowzin** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:10 pm

Benevolent Thomas wrote:
Bowzin wrote:Fitting

It was all part of my plan >:)

You should see how many you'd get for quitting Balder.

I was told I will get 1 million DKP once I turn Balder defender, so I'm going that route instead.

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 5:56 am

The Great Contest

Ever since we founded the Order in 2016, we have been obsessed with discovering the answer to a question. The question being "who among us is the best at killing darkspawn?" The debate that has consumed us since our earliest days has lead to the creation of the Darkspawn Kill Point system. Each month you get a chance to prove your worth and reach for the ultimate bragging right of being named DKP Champion. This contest is open to all who wish to enter and participation is assumed for anyone who joins the Order.

“You have to bear witness and understand why it is so important to stop them. The Joining, the Calling...it's all worthwhile if it holds back the darkspawn. Once you understand what they are.” ―Sekah, Warden-Recruit from the Hossberg Circle of Magi

In February, we had the honor and the privilege of holding one of our contests within enemy territory. Sword and ax met shield, demonic ichor was spilled and spells were cast. When the dust settled, there was a clear champion among us.

The first wave of enemies faced were genlocks of the classic variety with a few archers thrown in lead by a singular alpha. Ball won the honor of being the first to fell a darkspawn by firing a crossbow bolt before our magi finished their buffing spells. As the genlock hit the ground with a satisfying thud, Ball turned to their fellow warriors and exclaimed "I've done my part, now let me be off!" before departing the Deep Roads and making way to Orlais. Not to be outdone, our own Indo-Malaysia fired a single arrow dramatically in the direction of the swarm of darkspawn before turning around and heading to the cooking fires. He had made his way mostly through the crowd of eager warriors before his bolt found its target. Now that the coolest among us had inspired our ranks, we charged into battle in, emboldened by their example.

Those who had bested ten or fewer foes were asked to assist Indo with the feast preparations.

The remaining contestants were then challenged by a more diverse group of genlocks that included additional archers, a few emissaries and several alphas to command them. In a terrific showing for the Rejected Realms Army, members formed a smaller hunting party and worked together in this round, making efficient work of a cluster of archers and an alpha. Frattastan lead the group, bashing his shield into the alpha and drawing the attention of the archers, while Cat dispatched them from afar. Kyo managed to sneak his way behind the few genlocks smart enough to take cover and Sarah reminded everyone how cool it looks when you dual-wield blades.

The elite few that scored at least 50dkp advanced to the next round, while the rest started digging into the hors d'oeuvres.

Hold onto your waning interest! The hurlocks make their debut. While still darkspawn, hurlocks are a decent bit taller and tougher than genlocks. Lighter armor gives way to metal as the smell of death and blight fill the tunnels. In this round where mostly legends remain, the competitors start to show off their talents. Surprise contender, Bowzin, levied hard politics toward the alphas until their less-than-intelligent subordinates changed allegiances and bolstered Bowzin's charge to the front of the pack. Unfortunately, for Commander Deadeye Jack and Numero Capitan, hurlocks are not nearly intelligent enough to abstain from attacking anyone outside of Bowzin's party. The pair would spend the entirety of this round defending one another from their new frenemies.

First Warden Benevolent Thomas, Chamberlain Haku and Commanders Vincent Drake and the one whose friends call him "Tim?" were locked in a smaller contest of their own over who could kill darkspawn the fastest. The clear and obvious answer is Vinny and Haku are the fastest in all of Thedas, but Thomas refused to allow his aging combat style to fall too far behind. Tim launched fireballs seemingly at random, lucking into a partial cave-collapse that wiped out a few hurlocks and crippling one other as his mana wore out. He was led off the battlefield by High Constable Merlin and Frattastan who were shouting their kill counts to one another like they were in their own little Helm's Deep.

The Final Round is upon us. Anyone who has felled less than 85 darkspawn have been relegated to the banquet area, unamused at the lack of remaining snacks. Tim downed a flask of mana potion before downing a flask of whiskey prior to draining a pint of mead, before making his way to Orzammar's finest wines.

Shrieks fill the cavern as the newest wave of darkspawn approach. The appropriately nick-named "Shireks" have come to stealthily lead a final desperate charge to reclaim lost territory. The remaining contestants are well-spent, creating a chance for Haku, Chamberlain of TGW, to show his quality. As his counterparts struggle to hold back the desperate forces of evil, Haku plunges forward, bashing untold dozens with his shield. His handsome blade brilliantly dancing through the horde as a knackered Bowzin starts to compose a ballad. Merlin runs low on mana as Fratt's charisma finally wanes. The pair shake hands, griping one another's forearm, before making their way to the banquet. The quietly deadly p.rata of A World Power, downs a few last opponents while escorting Bowzin from the field, leaving just Haku left to rack up an unprecedented kill count.

Chamberlain Haku is our Champion!

They will be rewarded with the S-RANK role on our discord server. Three cheers for a truly dedicated Warden!

by **Yokiria** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:00 am

Benevolent Thomas wrote:Tim - 53.14

...How?

by **Brazen Stealth Operation** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:31 am

Yokiria wrote:
Benevolent Thomas wrote:Tim - 53.14

...How?

Vinny awarded Tim π for activity.

by **Bowzin** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 12:47 pm

WOOO! Second place!!

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Tue Apr 28, 2020 10:54 am

Balderite Passes Over Planet Warden

The greatest event in DKP history has happened! A First Warden did not win. A Warden did not win. A Defender did not win. So who the hell won? It was the mighty mighty Bowzin of Balder! Their creation of a WFE Archive was more than enough to smoke the competition and propel them to an honored status in the Grey Warden community. Hell, this could end with a defender award. Bowzin is like Eluvatar, but young and handsome and doesn't mute all their channels. The last non-Warden to win DKP eventually became First Warden. You want that chance? Apply right now, Bowzin, and I'll slice through all of the red tape. Would you like a replay of your awesome victory, because I've got the stats right here:

Bowzin - 700 DKP
Haku - 276 DKP
Vincent Drake - 156 DKP
Sarah - 110 DKP
Lyna Mahariel - 95 DKP
Benevolent Thomas - 93.14 DKP
Tim-opolis - 50 DKP
Birdkeeper - 50DKP
Frattastan - 40 DKP
Makdon - 40 DKP
Sir Merlin - 35 DKP
Nakari - 35 DKP
Numero Capitan - 35 DKP
Deadeye Jack - 30 DKP
Kyorgia - 30 DKP
Alyekra - 30 DKP
p.rata - 30 DKP
Bobberino - 30 DKP
The Grim Reaper - 25 DKP
Roavin - 20 DKP
Sylven Razedusk - 15 DKP
WapenStation - 15 DKP
pan²thalasso - 15 DKP
The Hospitalers - 15 DKP
SpiritOfDelphi - 5 DKP
Glave3 - 5 DKP
Karputsk - 3.5 DKP

This is easily the most DKP anyone has ever earned in a month! With this display of Darkspawn slaying prowess, Bowzin has made themselves an indispensable public face of the Realm of Balder and her government. Bowzin is The Sword in the Stone to admin's The Black Cauldron. Why make that comparison? If you've been attending updates this past month, you get it.

Gameplayers coming back to NS for more of the same

Sorry about the wait and the lower quality, Bowzin. You definitely deserve more, but I've just let my poor month get in the way of being a good First Warden. I'm watching your NS career with great interest. Also... I'll give someone 200 DKP to write a quality April DKP post. My creative juices just haven't been flowing as of late.

by **Bowzin** » Tue Apr 28, 2020 8:34 pm

Benevolent Thomas wrote:young and handsome and doesn't mute all their channels. The last non-Warden to win DKP eventually became First Warden. You want that chance? Apply right now, Bowzin, and I'll slice through all of the red tape. Would you like a replay of your awesome victory, because I've got the stats right here:

I have heard I am indeed very handsome, especially with my quarantine mustache...also I'll collect on my 1 million DKP for turning Balder defender at some point, don't worry.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Thu Apr 30, 2020 11:57 pm

Darkspawn thorns are no match for breezy Warden Steel

Hello Gameplay! The Wardens are back to winning ways! In tonight's patrol, The Order of The Grey Wardens and our staunch allies defended Everything.

The haters said that we couldn't possibly defend Everything, but we made short work of it. Tonight, without a doubt, Everything was successfully defended.

Tonights patrol started off a bit hectic, as nobody was really sure what to expect with all the recent migrations happening. It was likely that it'd be an extended patrol, due to all the extended area that would now need to be covered, but such is the life. As the Feathered Darkspawn rallied from their Nest and deployed on their raids, the initial skirmishes were short-lived and saw numerous defeats. There were a lot of factors to consider here, of course. The Darkspawn rally was a bit unexpected, and the brave defending troops worked with haste to rally their numbers. Commander Tim was heeding nature's call, Commander Vincent Drake was off catching wild creatures, and Chamberlain Haku was having issues with his armor. Fortunately, matters were sorted, swords were drawn, and Lieutenant Pyrohy answered the call for battle to boot!

Swiftly deploying after the Darkspawn, the Grey Wardens and their allies quickly saw their ability to defend everything successfully confirmed. Though the enemy was plentiful, we had secured a numerical advantage, which helped considerably due to all the difficulties accessing certain paths to battles thanks to Large Aggressive Giraffes. While the enemy had secured many an early victory, now they fell to our swords at every turn. Where Darkspawn went, Wardens would follow.

The enemy even tried using more advanced tactics, placing down thorns for us to trip up against in our charge towards them, but bypassing those ended up being a breeze. In the end, our foe was driven back to their Nest from which they brooded and loomed. Multiple Darkspawn grunts came to bolster the enemy at the edge of their cave systems, but they didn't emerge again. While it left us in a lonely vigil for the rest of the patrol, The Grey Warden mantra rang true. In War, we found Victory. In the following Peace, we remained Vigilant. All in all, a victorious night, defending more than the Black Hawks were able to raze. As said, we defended Everything.

Regions Defended

Newingtonia
World Defense Force
OEU Puppet Poole
Black Sea Union
The Atlantic Union
The New World Society
Jeffrey Epstein Did Not Kill Himself
League Of United States
Nogtren
Everything
Chinese Communist Wizardry
The Allied Nations of West Davenport

Region Detagged

Hamiltonia

Wardens Present

Chamberlain Haku
Commander Tim
Commander Vincent Drake
Lieutenant Pyrohy

Allies Present

RRA Jamie
SPSF Phoenixofthesun

DKP Allocated

+15 To All Troops

In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.

by **Aurum Raider** » Fri May 01, 2020 12:23 am

Tim-Opolis wrote:The Order of The Grey Wardens and our staunch allies defended Everything

That line might just make this one of the greatest R/D reports written this year.

by **Loller Corleone** » Fri May 01, 2020 12:30 am

I am just happy to see TGW writing reports again! You guys really ended up defending everything :shock:

Perfect comeback!

by **Lord Dominator** » Fri May 01, 2020 7:27 am

Actual reports from TGW are nice

by **Tinhampton** » Fri May 01, 2020 9:04 am

LOL at your defence of "Jeffrey Epstein Did Not Kill Himself" too

5/1/2020, 5:37:24 AM GMT+1: Elite Four Will relocated from Everything to Artificial Solar System.
5/1/2020, 5:37:22 AM GMT+1: Elite Four Will became WA Delegate of Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:21 AM GMT+1: Little Lies relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: The Hippie Utopia relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: Elite Four Will relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: Hustler Phoenix relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: DRAKE WAS STILL DOING IT IN 2016 AS HE relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: HC32 relocated from Artificial Solar System to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:19 AM GMT+1: The Steaky21 relocated from Birb to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:17 AM GMT+1: Moravice relocated from Devide by Zero to Everything.
5/1/2020, 5:37:17 AM GMT+1: Allegheny 9 relocated from Devide by Zero to Everything.

and some people still think the 100m sprint is fun ;P

by **Sweeze** » Fri May 01, 2020 10:58 am

more tgw reports! <3 hell yeah defend *everything*

by **Tim-Opolis** » Fri May 01, 2020 4:29 pm

Tinhampton wrote:LOL at your defence of "Jeffrey Epstein Did Not Kill Himself" too

It's important to defend the truth.

Aurum Raider wrote:
Tim-Opolis wrote:The Order of The Grey Wardens and our staunch allies defended Everything

That line might just make this one of the greatest R/D reports written this year.

Aw, thanks :hug:

by **Tim-Opolis** » Fri May 01, 2020 11:18 pm

A dramatic recreation of tonight's events, starring TGW and Friends as The Cavalry

PRESS RELEASE: GREY WARDENS AND STRONG STALWART ALLIES OUTNUMBER INVADER FOES

WEISSHAUPT FORTRESS
SOUTHERN ANDERFELS
2ND OF MAY 2020

Reports have been coming in from a major engagement in the far north near the aurora borealis. A small union had formed there, against all odds, naming themselves after the magical lights that would dance and ripple above their heads in magnificent shades of green, pink and blue. While only a small community, blissfully ignorant of the Darkspawn blight that was marching in their direction, the ever-vigilant Grey Wardens and a plethora of allies came to their aid on short notice. While tonight was only scheduled to be a routine patrol, the week had been dedicated to festivities and competitions of skill and ability in the field. While normally the stoic Grey Wardens would avoid such frivolities, this event has been centered around the fight against the Darkspawn and offered a phenomenal opportunity for skill-honing. Prior to the update, in fact, there had been extensive competition in the art of spotting Darkspawn, an appropriate event for such a night.

As the scheduled retinue of Wardens and Allied Forces patrolled the Northern Wilderness, they spotted an ominous sight. While prepared for skirmishes and small raid parties, the tracks that were being picked up represented something much more significant. With no time to waste, a messenger was dispatched to raise the banners, and forth came many a brave soldier to stand in the path of The Blight. Over twenty Defenders arrived on short notice to combat the dark foe. While the night was quiet, vigilance is most important when it is peaceful, and there would be nothing standing in the way of victory in tonight's chapter of the war. As the Blight Hawks and their followers rushed forth towards the small settlement of Aurora Union, they were brutally intercepted by Defender forces. Not even needing support from the native population, the defending forces inadvertently brought so much power to the fight that they were able to take control and remove all of the Blight from the region. The Darkspawn horde was wiped out before it even had a chance to to inflict even one casualty. With recent times hampering the quantities of available troops, tonight demonstrated what could be done when the Wardens and their comrades demonstrated their full potential.

While there were no other formal battles, the Darkspawn did attempt to strike again in a futile attempt that ultimately was simply unable to reach their target in time. As Defenders rejoiced the safety of the union that had formed in the northern steppes near the aurora, an odd cave system was noticed on the charts of the region. After some perusing, it became clear why they were in this region and what exactly this was. While marked on the map simply as Dragon, maps of the are in the archives of Weisshaupt Fortress indicated a more troubling truth. The shape of a dragon perhaps, but a slumbering Old God was certainly likely. With no time to lose, the Wardens set off in a charge for the cave, seeing bands of hurlocks and genlocks peeling out of the forests charging for the same area. While all but one of the defenders was too late, the darkspawn also failed to arrive in time. As Commander Tim Stark stood defensively at the cave entrance, having beaten in every single individual except for the Darkspawn lead themselves, a ceiling collapse in the first chamber limited access, until the next minor update to the area's topology would likely reveal another entrance.

Today the Darkspawn failed. Everywhere they turned, they were obliterated. May this be a turn of the tide.

OOC: Seriously, can we talk about how nuts today was as a scenario. Like, I don't even mean to gloat, but I cannot remember the last time defenders legitimately simply outnumbered raiders on an occupation attempt defense rather than relying on a native or a pre-move. Even more than that, we pulled troops short notice as fuck and still got 20+ people. Hopefully this keeps up, because I'm 2 for 2 on winning updates since unretiring from R/D, and I like being able to claim I'm the catalyst.

Region Defended

Aurora Union

Region That Tim Beat Every Single Non-Lead Darkspawn Into

Dragon

Wardens Present

First Warden Benevolent Thomas
Chamberlain Haku
Commander Tim
Commander Vincent Drake
Constable Nakari
Lieutenant House of Cards

Allies Present

RRA Jamie
RRA Fauxia
RRA Frattastan
RRA Libetarian Republics
RRA Karputsk
RRA Neop
RRA Sarah
LILY Sweeze
SPSF Vietnam
SPSF PhoenixOfTheSun
TITO Mingulay Isle
TITO Ayunliz
TITO HumanSanity
TITO Grea Kriopia
TITO The Tasmanian Islands
TITO THX1138
Izon

In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.

by **Aurum Raider** » Fri May 01, 2020 11:35 pm

It was a really impressive turnout this update for everyone, good show! :clap:

Whoever TG'd me before update with that dispatch got a really good laugh out of me, though I'm sad you didn't return any of my TGs

by **Lord Dominator** » Fri May 01, 2020 11:38 pm

It's what we get when we accidentally schedule ops when you all are competing for prizes and actually alive

The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

An Apology

The Grey Wardens Defend Everything

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