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North Dusan
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 14
Founded: Apr 17, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby North Dusan » Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:30 am

"... another piece of news coming in : Flat Earthers once again, this time - "
*mob sounds*
" ... yes? What's that noise - "
*several explosions and sounds of gunfire*
*... EVACUATE! EVACUATE! GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE - "
*changes channel frantically*
North Dusan
The NationStates equivalent of handing a toddler the keys to a Bugatti
Our Great Leader Madeline Schume is the wife of the dictator who was supposed to rule North Dusan, Saddam Al-Khrim. When he rudely decided to keel over and die five minutes before announcing himself as leader, his blonde journalist wife stepped in. Her Greatness has ruled ever since.
Please refer to our Factbooks for extra information.
DUSANESE NEWS - Investigation into RES murder case continues | Main suspect, Andrea Janssen, disappeared from her residence in Walei
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Newark Aristocracy
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1323
Founded: Nov 10, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Newark Aristocracy » Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:34 am

*lots of despacito*
"What the hell is this channel?"

*changes channel to the first one in the guide (thread)*
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User avatar
Abarri
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 497
Founded: Aug 10, 2017
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Abarri » Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:22 am

"Catch the brand new kickass action series Harley's Devils only on Fu-"

*changes channel*
Click to see factbook entries. Please ignore the income tax rate provided by NS. Timeline is frozen at 2021.
Prefers The South Pacific. Spanish is not my native language. I often take things for granted. Green is my favorite color. Collects music CDs. A male who's an almost-libertarian. Nominal non-practicing Protestant. Eh, to heck with it, I'm unaffiliated. Poetaster.
How I found NS. Try not guessing where I reside.
We need to accept that there are things beyond our control.
Also, if having a letter in a flag is a sin, I'm your vexillographical sinner.
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User avatar
Youstania Firksnerio
Attaché
 
Posts: 85
Founded: Mar 17, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Youstania Firksnerio » Mon Apr 20, 2020 5:53 pm

Hello, Welcome to The Arbeitersendung Syndikat of Youstania Firksnerio
Changes Channel
An Alternate History Democratic Syndicalist Anglo-German Union
    Arbeitersendung Syndikat December 23, 2045: The Commonwealth of Poland-Prussia declares war on the Polish Commune! Monarchist Terror Group "Project: Birthright" takes responsibility
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Trumpy America
Attaché
 
Posts: 68
Founded: Oct 08, 2016
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Trumpy America » Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:36 pm

News Anchor: Word is just now coming in that a communist revolution has broken out at a Detroit auto factory. Fortunately, we have a reporter live at the scene. Anne, what is happening?
Reporter: Apparently the ghost of Karl Marx showed up this afternoon and convinced the workers to seize the means of production. The mayhem you see behind me is what resulted. We are presently attempting to secure an interview with Mr. Marx, or whoever is still here leading the proletarians. We have already spoken with police, who say they have made arrests. More to come in our next broadcast.

*changes channel*
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User avatar
Cul-Ed-Sac
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 17
Founded: Oct 28, 2018
Father Knows Best State

Postby Cul-Ed-Sac » Mon Apr 20, 2020 8:17 pm

"How did it feel when you failed to give a downpayment for the avocado research facility's parking lot?"

*changes channel*
C H I C K E N ! ! !
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User avatar
B o r o v a n
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 112
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby B o r o v a n » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:45 pm

"ALL OF YOU RAIDERS ARE GOING TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMP TO MINE ROCKS AND DO HARD LABOUR!"
"This is slavery! "
"You guys invade natives now pay the price! The price of having loss wages from being employed for prison labour!"
Meanwhile...
"Colonel, we're getting reports that one of our former military commanders is enslaving raiders to labour camps. What should we do?"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY
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User avatar
The Cosmic Mainframe
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1104
Founded: Jan 26, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Cosmic Mainframe » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:50 pm

(wonderwall instrumental plays)
Today, day day day day day day day day day day day day
By now now now now now now now now now now now now
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do
Do do do do do

Backbeat, beat beat beat beaeat-
*Changes channel*
== BEGIN POSTSCRIPT ==
The Mainframe requires more processing power and storage.
Donate your computing devices or they will be taken by force.
== END POSTSCRIPT ==

UPDATES (earth-year 3345): International Subsystem scales up operations in 42E5 "New York," Earth, now the largest known concentration of androids.

Factbooks | About Me | NationStates Flag Bracket II | Bytes (card farming region) | ＭＡＩＮＦＲＡＭＥＷＡＶＥ
Feel free to telegram me about anything. I'll do my best to respond.
Canon is relative to the observer. Not using NS stats.
This nation does not represent my real views, and if it represents yours, I question your sanity.
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User avatar
Cul-Ed-Sac
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 17
Founded: Oct 28, 2018
Father Knows Best State

Postby Cul-Ed-Sac » Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:31 am

"...screaming in their bedroom all night..."

*changes channel*
C H I C K E N ! ! !
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User avatar
Nationstatorship
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 22
Founded: Mar 27, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Nationstatorship » Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:34 am

Cul-Ed-Sac wrote:"...screaming in their bedroom all night..."

*changes channel*

Here on International News Network, we provide you with the most recent information, now. Coming up at 5, the one group of Violetists making a difference in our world
*changes channel*
The 203 Sectors of Nationstatorship: Peace is a nice thing. But Democracy? Liberty? Bah!
‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
‏‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
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User avatar
Greenwichian Arcadia
Attaché
 
Posts: 87
Founded: Aug 11, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Greenwichian Arcadia » Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:54 am

“Devout Christians worldwide revel in the joy as the Easter Vigil is abo—”
*changes channel*
Last edited by Greenwichian Arcadia on Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
US, Canada, obscure sci-fi plus weird sports = this.
NS stats are used (for now). Population is 231M.
Refer to canon NS policies when in doubt.
Set 50 years ago with 2020 tech.
A 6/0/5/16 nation.
Intgaming
ÆEEAADS!
[free space]
“What I wish is totally irrelevant, what people wish really matters.”
—Nicole Greenwich, the first PotC.
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User avatar
Abarri
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 497
Founded: Aug 10, 2017
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Abarri » Fri Apr 24, 2020 10:24 am

"...So true, some pop songs from the 1960's had lyrics about dying boyfriends or girlfriends. And, no, I'm not talking about artificially changing their hair colour!"

*changes channel*
Click to see factbook entries. Please ignore the income tax rate provided by NS. Timeline is frozen at 2021.
Prefers The South Pacific. Spanish is not my native language. I often take things for granted. Green is my favorite color. Collects music CDs. A male who's an almost-libertarian. Nominal non-practicing Protestant. Eh, to heck with it, I'm unaffiliated. Poetaster.
How I found NS. Try not guessing where I reside.
We need to accept that there are things beyond our control.
Also, if having a letter in a flag is a sin, I'm your vexillographical sinner.
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User avatar
B o r o v a n
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 112
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby B o r o v a n » Fri Apr 24, 2020 11:32 am

"I AM THE KING OF EAST NATHANEL GREENE MIDDL-"
"WHY IS THE KID NEXT TO ME BREATHING SO HARD?!

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY
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User avatar
B o r o v a n
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 112
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby B o r o v a n » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:04 pm

Chang eats nachos from Monarch Taco outside the restaurant.
"Hey! You! What are you doing eating in the park?"
"I'm eating "
"Uh huh likely story! You're getting two charges. Violating the stay at home orders by trespassing on a non essential place and having no essential activity!
"MAI NACHOS!"
The policeman whopped him with a baton on the head making him bleed. Chang collapsed.
"WHAT DO YOU HAV-" The police man got hit with a spicy sauce jalapeño in the eyes.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"I AM EATING MY NACHOS IN THE STREETS THANK YOU VERY MUCH! UNTIL WE GET TO EAT BACK IN-"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY
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User avatar
Zeritae
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 475
Founded: Jun 10, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Zeritae » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:09 pm

B o r o v a n wrote:Chang eats nachos from Monarch Taco outside the restaurant.
"Hey! You! What are you doing eating in the park?"
"I'm eating "
"Uh huh likely story! You're getting two charges. Violating the stay at home orders by trespassing on a non essential place and having no essential activity!
"MAI NACHOS!"
The policeman whopped him with a baton on the head making him bleed. Chang collapsed.
"WHAT DO YOU HAV-" The police man got hit with a spicy sauce jalapeño in the eyes.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"I AM EATING MY NACHOS IN THE STREETS THANK YOU VERY MUCH! UNTIL WE GET TO EAT BACK IN-"

*changes channel*

Man spotted laughing manically. More on Ovavo.
*changes*
The United Republic of Zeritae Please don't send me telegrams - not A NA nor A.
Zurkerx wrote:
Agarntrop wrote:snip

One already exists: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=484632&start=25

And seeing we're over the page limit, I #ilock now. We can't let the umm, super virus get out now.
The Iron Wizards of Blacktower wrote:
Tinhampton wrote:Direct the what what what what what again? I'm utterly baffled at what this has to do with the goodness of Friends With Benefits

Become enlightened through sex.
NS Stats are used.
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User avatar
Alatoma
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 12
Founded: Mar 05, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Alatoma » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:12 pm

"we know these are uncertain times, and we are asking a lot of everyone right now"
*changes channel*

The Democratic Republic of Alatoma

"Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent." -Nolan Ryan

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User avatar
Zeritae
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 475
Founded: Jun 10, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Zeritae » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:14 pm

Alatoma wrote:"we know these are uncertain times, and we are asking a lot of everyone right now"
*changes channel*

We know that times like these are uncertain, but we are asking
-another Covid Ad? Seems the same as the last
*changes channel*
The United Republic of Zeritae Please don't send me telegrams - not A NA nor A.
Zurkerx wrote:
Agarntrop wrote:snip

One already exists: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=484632&start=25

And seeing we're over the page limit, I #ilock now. We can't let the umm, super virus get out now.
The Iron Wizards of Blacktower wrote:
Tinhampton wrote:Direct the what what what what what again? I'm utterly baffled at what this has to do with the goodness of Friends With Benefits

Become enlightened through sex.
NS Stats are used.
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User avatar
Amarawai
Secretary
 
Posts: 28
Founded: Apr 16, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Amarawai » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:16 pm

Sovyetski soyuz!
..... Partiya Lenina!
.....
*Hardbass Attack*
OOOOOOO
*Changes Channel*
Last edited by Amarawai on Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi!
The Cake is a truth. eat it or i throw the cake at you | An African Nation.

Amarian News
The Crosser Times


Ice Cream man in the Small Town of Victoria caught hiding a photo of a banana in his Uniform.

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User avatar
Zeritae
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 475
Founded: Jun 10, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Zeritae » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:17 pm

Amarawai wrote:Sovyetski soyuz!
..... Partiya Lenina!
.....
*Hardbass Attack*
OOOOOOO
*Changes Channel*

*In recent events, famous author Max Barry's book Providence has been recieving rave reviews!*

*Changes The Channel*
The United Republic of Zeritae Please don't send me telegrams - not A NA nor A.
Zurkerx wrote:
Agarntrop wrote:snip

One already exists: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=484632&start=25

And seeing we're over the page limit, I #ilock now. We can't let the umm, super virus get out now.
The Iron Wizards of Blacktower wrote:
Tinhampton wrote:Direct the what what what what what again? I'm utterly baffled at what this has to do with the goodness of Friends With Benefits

Become enlightened through sex.
NS Stats are used.
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User avatar
Balaslandia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 110
Founded: Sep 15, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Balaslandia » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:19 pm

BREAKING NEWS: This news is fake!
Changes channel
PRESIDENT OF CORSICANA
Since 2019
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User avatar
New Demorvian
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 105
Founded: Nov 19, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby New Demorvian » Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:22 pm

Alex Jones: I don't think that Max Barry is even real, like it's some made up identity. You know, he's an NWO-made false identity to control Nationsta-
*Changes Channel*
Last edited by New Demorvian on Fri Apr 24, 2020 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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User avatar
Boring People
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1698
Founded: Jun 25, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Boring People » Sat Apr 25, 2020 12:19 am

Man: “Ugh!... Help! This music is beating me!”
*man runs over and fends off an A♭ that was hurtling through the air*

*Changes Channel*
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User avatar
B o r o v a n
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 112
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby B o r o v a n » Sat Apr 25, 2020 1:13 pm

"Welcome to the prize shop," says a bored looking female teenager. "Yay."
"I want the wand of reality!"
"10,000 tokens."
"That's too expensive!"
"Pay up or beat it"
"I participated in the Great War. Look it up. I got the rank of private first class."
"Ok. Liam Wentworth. 3rd division. Helped defeated Tarrock the Ogre. You get 556 tokens."
"That's too little!"
"Either pay something or beat it. No complaints"
"How about the wand of destruction?"
"12,000"
"Silver wand?"
"2,000"
"Willow"
"1,500"
"Oak?"
"1,250"
"Ivy?"
"600"
"Birch"
"500"
"Ok deal."
"Ok. And one ammunition box of magic crystals costs 65 tokens."
"Too much"
"Only wand left is birch and it's 300"
"No I don't want that that's only one level above sawdust and I have a sawdust wand!"
"Either purchase something or leave."
"How much for the initiate robes?"
"500 tokens."
"Girl what kind of shop you're running?"
Another customer comes in.
"One initiate robe please," says Chad.
"300 tokens." she smiled.
"Ok," she took the money and gave it to him. Chad left.
"The bloody #%*$@& was that?"
"The robes were 300" she said.
"No they were the same!"
"He got a promo code."
"No he didn't "
"Yes he did."
"No he didn't"
"Yes he did."
"No promo code. I didn't see him gIve you anything."
"Well I'm sorry you're just a very ugly person. And I just don't like selling it to you for less ."
"This is unfair! It's price discrimination!"
She yawned, "Oh yay, Mr. Bug Ugly is complaining about not affording a simple set of clothes. Are you done or are you leaving?"
"I'm speaking to your manager."
"I am the mana-"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY
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User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Sat Apr 25, 2020 2:27 pm

"Tonight on FatatatuTV, Fish goes on trial for eating a tourist...."

*changes channel*
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User avatar
Diarcesia
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6783
Founded: Aug 21, 2016
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Diarcesia » Sat Apr 25, 2020 2:58 pm

Fatatatutti wrote:"Tonight on FatatatuTV, Fish goes on trial for eating a tourist...."

*changes channel*

"I don't believe him!" Jessica shouted over the radio. "He's not even on the books! He's a celebrity now, with a TV show! People are remembering him! People are talking about him now!"

*changes channel*
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