The NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition II: The Winner!

[Rojava Free State]

Indeed, a personal malformation of Adam's second son causes me to become an animated creature.

https://youtu.be/-ENAA89lxjc

[Cannot think of a name]

Gravel, it turned out, was a terrible substitute for toilet paper.

[Pax Nerdvana]

The little boat was as long as a six foot three tree is tall; it floated as well as a bowling ball; needless to say, it didn't.

[Voxija]

The non-ironic perverted juggalo cried out, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm memes and eat you".

[Hurdergaryp]

Soon I would lament the loss of that blessed moment, shortly after waking up on the floor of the public toilet, when I was not yet aware of the very nature of the dried fluids covering most of my aching body.

[Cannot think of a name]

Soon I would lament the loss of that blessed moment, shortly after waking up on the floor of the public toilet, when I was not yet aware of the very nature of the dried fluids covering most of my aching body.

Unfortunately for the nature of this competition, I would 100% read the rest of this story.

[Hurdergaryp]

With the aftertaste of lima beans and cheap gin still lingering in the back of her mouth, she screamed at the top of her longs "No Longer Shall We Be Forced To Remain In The House Of The Lord, FOREVER!" in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, while struggling to undo the straps of her season-appropriate lederhosen.

[Ethel mermania]

With the aftertaste of lima beans and cheap gin still lingering in the back of her mouth, she screamed at the top of her longs "No Longer Shall We Be Forced To Remain In The House Of The Lord, FOREVER!" in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, while struggling to undo the straps of her season-appropriate lederhosen.

Where can I buy this book?

[Grenartia]

"Well hey there, cutie" the person in the Minions bikini said with a smile that betrayed their years of meth abuse, and voice that sounded like Pee Wee Herman gargling boiling tar, as they stepped out of the pizza kitchen, which smelt suspiciously like rotten egg farts.

[Hurdergaryp]

Soon I would lament the loss of that blessed moment, shortly after waking up on the floor of the public toilet, when I was not yet aware of the very nature of the dried fluids covering most of my aching body.

Unfortunately for the nature of this competition, I would 100% read the rest of this story.

With the aftertaste of lima beans and cheap gin still lingering in the back of her mouth, she screamed at the top of her longs "No Longer Shall We Be Forced To Remain In The House Of The Lord, FOREVER!" in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, while struggling to undo the straps of her season-appropriate lederhosen.

Where can I buy this book?

I'm doing this terribly wrong, am I not?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

With the aftertaste of lima beans and cheap gin still lingering in the back of her mouth, she screamed at the top of her longs "No Longer Shall We Be Forced To Remain In The House Of The Lord, FOREVER!" in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, while struggling to undo the straps of her season-appropriate lederhosen.

I’m hooked to this one. The lederhosen did it.

[Ethel mermania]

With the aftertaste of lima beans and cheap gin still lingering in the back of her mouth, she screamed at the top of her longs "No Longer Shall We Be Forced To Remain In The House Of The Lord, FOREVER!" in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, while struggling to undo the straps of her season-appropriate lederhosen.

I’m hooked to this one. The lederhosen did it.

I did nOt know lederhosen came in seasonally appropriate styles. There is just so much here

[Rojava Free State]

As a hand caressed her body and moved lower, she turned around expecting to see her boyfriend, but to her horror she made contact with two sunken eyes staring from a deep orange face, and a voice like that of a deranged 13 year old rasped "I'm gonna grab you by your pussy."

[Forsher]

In the political era of the times, the period in which the zeitgeist captured the essence of political sentiment and entertainment norms, it became popular to take pot shots in thinly veiled satires of the climate, in which habit we find our hero, Joe, currently engaged.

[Bombadil]

"This is bullshit", muttered Bombadil as he opened yet another pack of worthless cards.

[Farnhamia]

"This is bullshit", muttered Bombadil as he opened yet another pack of worthless cards.

I must take that ... computer, or whatever it is, away from him, thought Goldberry. Perhaps the Age of Man is not a good thing, but that ship sailed into the West a long time ago.

[G0ldberry]

"This is bullshit", muttered Bombadil as he opened yet another pack of worthless cards.

I must take that ... computer, or whatever it is, away from him, thought Goldberry. Perhaps the Age of Man is not a good thing, but that ship sailed into the West a long time ago.

He's driving me up the wall and he won't wear any pants.

[The Archregimancy]

Just a quick note that there are four more days to get those sentences in. Impress me, NSG - I have faith in you. There are some very good efforts in here so far.


For further inspiration, here's last year's winner of the real Bulwer-Lytton contest:

Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

[Cannot think of a name]

Just a quick note that there are four more days to get those sentences in. Impress me, NSG - I have faith in you. There are some very good efforts in here so far.


For further inspiration, here's last year's winner of the real Bulwer-Lytton contest:

Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

I want to move in with that sentence and mix our record collection.

[Hurdergaryp]

Surrounded by a strategic stockpile of adult diapers, Domenico Eastfield, famed greatswords collector and quite the authority in the anarcho-capitalist domains of Twitter, was about to unleash a live podcast upon the online world that would dramatically change everything woke people believed about feminism, Japanese pop culture, full mechanical keyboards, and Franz Schubert's last three piano sonatas.

[Voxija]

Ashleigh Burley Valentina Tsippi Star Evangeline Enobie Lyanna von Glockenspiel-Dawnston-Takawaya-Guttieres-Romanova, a lucious fourteen-year-old girl child with hair that was blonde, then, purple, then pink, then back again, and glowing chrysanthemum orbs, and shaved arms, and also the most perfect, shapely bouncy breasts, did not know she was beautiful; the perfect girl stood in front of the great halls of 4chan, the secret to all life and the famed center of philosophy.

[An Alan Smithee Nation]

The side of the van read "Possum Petes Loose Meat: where road kill meets street food"; well you only live once thought Fenella taking a bite.

[Samudera Darussalam]

Hands trembling, the boy reads the document, word by word, looking into every important bits of information, his eyes scan the various characters down to the bottom to ensure that nothing is left, and when he finished with the greatest of sigh, he wondered, what makes his parents to hate him so much to make them name him Bornbabydoom McDoomy Face.

[Ethel mermania]

Just a quick note that there are four more days to get those sentences in. Impress me, NSG - I have faith in you. There are some very good efforts in here so far.


For further inspiration, here's last year's winner of the real Bulwer-Lytton contest:

Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

I for one think dostoevsky and bombidil are wonderful entrants into the competion dr Jones, he said as he stormed out the door and tripped over a series of large hairy ferns.

[Diarcesia]

"Record scratch. Freeze frame. You're probably wondering why this writer is in this predicament," you say aloud, as you realize that you are scribbling the prologue of an opus that would make even Bulwer-Lytton palm his face.