Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Kowani]

Thank you, but it seems like I am always wrong based on my opinions and they are always right based on facts.

If you ever get tired of always being wrong, you should think about changing your opinions to match the facts.

[Kowani]

Its one God is our God, and you'll have to account to Him of your disgusting words like these just as He accounted for those that perpetrated such grave crimes against His chosen people.

It doesn't really give your faith any credit that the only thing you can do is make vain threats of supernatural revenge because your Church was smacked into being a minor city-state and not able to execute people anymore.

[Nakena]

I don't know what this thread did to deserve such an image.

No punishment is too severe for this thread’s crimes

[-Astoria-]

That cocaine must be pretty strong to cause a hatred of the Untermensch.

"Your honor, it was not mein fault! I didn't order the systematic genocide of millions of people, it was the twenty kilograms of pure-cut Bavarian cocaine that did it!"

Alright, I'll bite. This is just a rough guide using the old names that I hypothesized years ago.

Raleigh Generation (2007-2009) - Unibot, Milograd, Solorni, Glen-Rhodes, AMOM, Earth, Belshaft, Guy, Wordy, Kazmr, Fratt etc.

The generation that led the Great Revival. As the Who once sang, My generation...

Alaric Generation (2010-2013) - Cormac Stark, Jakker, Benevolent Thomas, August, Hobbes, Consular, Pergamon etc.

The generation that saw the revival through to its conclusion: filling the ranks of the UDL, PRL, the UIAF. Many principally involved with the emerging Cold War.

Zhuangzi Generation (2013-2015) - Nephmir, Ever-Wandering Souls, Deadeye Jack, Writinglegend etc.

Pretty much all of the big institutions of the day went belly-up overnight - the UDL conclave, then the recruitment moratorium, NLO, and Predator. This generation were the players who made their mark in that emerging vacuum and helped to put the pieces back together.

Croatoan Generation (2015-2017) - Roavin, Yuno etc.

A new emergent generation rising to leadership all over NationStates. The "Discord" generation.

EDIT: And I channel my inner fifteen year old self and dub thee future generations: Gainas, Mozi, and Orinoco. o/

Well goddamnit I need to get my money back as I have a small arsenal of pistols that must be defective as they do nothing but punch holes in paper targets and have never harmed anyone ever.

Guns only purpose is to kill people.... what a stupid fucking argument.

"I keep an object in my house that is much more likely to be used to kill or injure me or my loved ones than to attack any intruder pretty much for my own amusement" would be my idea of a stupid fucking argument.

Swallow a builder to get the shovel.

Drink lots of tea or the builder will walk out of the job through your butt.

Good thing we 'Muricans use Freedom UnitsTM* instead of those pesky Euro-Metrics!

*Freedom UnitsTM, of course, meaning British-made imperial units.

This is a worldwide movement that will make the world silly again.

Moar yuuge then just the UK.

We will buld a cake and make Antarctica pay for it.

We will strip away the water gun laws that hold back so many.
We will make cannons a public transportation option.

Also, unicorns will be real.

I dunno, can you sue the CEO of Racism?

That neighbourhood knows how to execute a joint action

Is that the pun you were looking for?

-snip-

[Tinhampton]

Xeknos wrote:
What the hell is a "WA Elite," anyway?

The people who think they own the WA and lobby superdelegates into submission into defeating resolutions that threaten their interests. They tend to be left-of-centre. A good example of their power is when Condemn Antifa got defeated[...]

Thank you, thank you. What, sir? The WA elite? Yes, sir, the elite sir.

Thank you!

---

Separatist Ambassador Benjamin Bell, in the General Assembly debating chambers for "Abortionplexes for All:"

"Oh this wasn't meant to sway. Theres no reasoning with baby killers such as yourself. This merely a polite announcement."

"We kill more than babies, don't leave out the adults that try to cross illegally into our territory."

---

Beware linguistics!

For those interested in when your state will have its peaks, there’s a list further down the article I linked to last. It tells state by state when you’ll likely hit peak in your area.

We have lots of peaks. Some are over 14,000 feet high (4267 meters for you of the metric persuasion).

[Argotera]

I am as immune to sentences about whisky as I am to kittens.

My heart is hardened to all forms of bribery, whether subtle or overt; indeed, I have no heart - only a small, cold pebble of inert stone where my heart used to be.

MOM! I have missed you so.

[Tinhampton]

No. 2001.09.11.

That way it will format correctly with other dates in Windows. All else is heresy.

The only correct form of date is ISO 8601.

Today is 2020-04-04 <- Acceptable
Today is 2020-04-04T20:44:46Z <- Preferable
Today is 2020-W14-6 <- Ideal
Today is 2020-095 <- Perfect

---

On the third Coronavirus Thread:

So the first thread lasted 62 days.
The second thread lasted 14 days.
If this trend continues, this thread will last just over 3 days. The thread after that will last about 17 hours.

[The Black Forrest]

It's one of those cases where principles matter - you have two ideologically opposed camps using the same tactics to destroy <thing they don't like>.

Either the tactic is a constitutionally valid one or it isn't, and both sides need to realize it.

(And, both should continue to be allowed, incidentally. Constitutional rights and all that.)

It's a bit of a game of chicken, really. Anti-abortionists aren't exactly going to abandon this tactic, the only way to stop them is if the practice is deemed an unconstitutional violation of rights. So the gun nerds have to decide if unfettered access to their shooty shooty bang bangs is more important then their control over women's reproductive rights. And this is my surprise face when the 'libertarian' types who sat on their hands while the rights of women were curtailed go gather their pitchforks and torches when access to the pop pop pew pew is restricted in the exact same way.

Ultimately, no this isn't the way to do it. But now that it's in their backyard maybe they can get off their ass and bring the practice to a close.

Spoiler alert, they won't. They'll find a way to carve this so that shooty pa-tooty is protected but not women. Again, surprise face.

[Tinhampton]

Too bad, no more mass gatherings lockdowns forever and they're going to declare martial law and force you to quarter soldiers in your home. They'll insist on trying to talk to you while you're in the bathroom.

Everyone in this thread has explained to you what's going to happen and what's not going to happen and you keep repeating the same things over and over and over.

Can we quarter a couple hot female soldiers in my house or is it just gonna be Robert and Fred?

[Kowani]

I will admit it, but this thread is really entertaining. As was Jocos candidacy and subsequent failure

It's like a Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain who always comes up with new schemes and plots that are unfeasible to begin with and hilariously implode.

[Tinhampton]

More cartoon-related fucking brilliance from the CCD thread:

The fact of the matter is that various influential groups within the World Assembly, most comprising a part of the WA Elite and including all of the other four candidates who made the general election, organised a redistribution of votes to your campaign in order to stop Jocospor from making the General. Will you at least admit this is true?

I have found recorded footage that is irrefutable evidence that your accusation is undeniably true. Let us see them try to hide it now:

[Kowani]

Nerds are the best.

That must be why the European Social Democracies are doing so well.

Statistics nerd time! To see if you're right about whether economic and political freedom cause extra issues with the coronavirus, I've created a
coronavirus intensity measurement (CIM) which controls for population and population density (the formula to calculate it is ((number of coronavirus cases)*(area in km^2))/(population^2)), and to see if it is related to economic and political freedom, I'll be using the 2020 Index of Economic Freedom and 2019 Democracy Index as measures of those respectively. As a quick note, I've excluded Iceland from analyses because its CIM is a massive outlier at around 1400; the next highest is about 50.
First, how does CIM relate to Democracy Index?

It kind of sits at a similar low spot up until the Democracy Index reaches about 7.5, which results in a sudden exponential increase. So that means we're probably looking at an exponential curve, which means to find the strength of the exponential model, we have to log-transform the CIM. If you do that and run a linear model in R, you get:

Code: Select all

Call:
lm(formula = log(corona_score) ~ democracy_index_2019, data = mydata)

Residuals:
   Min     1Q Median     3Q    Max
-6.547 -1.462  0.360  1.602  5.198

Coefficients:
                     Estimate Std. Error t value Pr(>|t|)   
(Intercept)          -3.87693    0.48571  -7.982 2.92e-13 ***
democracy_index_2019  0.57151    0.08215   6.957 9.01e-11 ***
---
Signif. codes:  0 ‘***’ 0.001 ‘**’ 0.01 ‘*’ 0.05 ‘.’ 0.1 ‘ ’ 1

Residual standard error: 2.246 on 156 degrees of freedom
  (38 observations deleted due to missingness)
Multiple R-squared:  0.2368,   Adjusted R-squared:  0.2319
F-statistic:  48.4 on 1 and 156 DF,  p-value: 9.009e-11

So there's something to it - there's a statistically significant (p << 0.05) exponential correlation between Democracy Index and CIM. However, a large amount of the variation in CIM cannot be explained by Democracy Index, as is evidenced by the small R².
Now let's look at economic freedom.

Same kind of thing here, so let's do the same log-transform linear model.

Code: Select all

lm(formula = log(corona_score) ~ index_economic_freedom_2020,
    data = mydata)

Residuals:
    Min      1Q  Median      3Q     Max
-5.9421 -1.3521  0.1506  1.7299  4.5617

Coefficients:
                            Estimate Std. Error t value Pr(>|t|)   
(Intercept)                  -7.7149     1.0498  -7.349 9.51e-12 ***
index_economic_freedom_2020   0.1144     0.0169   6.771 2.26e-10 ***
---
Signif. codes:  0 ‘***’ 0.001 ‘**’ 0.01 ‘*’ 0.05 ‘.’ 0.1 ‘ ’ 1

Residual standard error: 2.226 on 161 degrees of freedom
  (33 observations deleted due to missingness)
Multiple R-squared:  0.2217,   Adjusted R-squared:  0.2168
F-statistic: 45.85 on 1 and 161 DF,  p-value: 2.264e-10

Basically the same interpretation as above.

So what does this tell us? Well, being extremely authoritarian doesn't mean you're in better shape than a moderate libertarian because you only get the sharp increase when you start becoming very free. Given the benefits of a moderately libertarian ideology compared to auth socialism, those benefits outweigh the very minor costs here. You just shouldn't be excessively liberal.

[Nakena]

The best part about CoRonAViRuS, and possibly its long-term impact, is that people remembered, even if it is briefly, that not everything is about them and sometimes they have to do stuff they don't want for the common good, and also that the economy just doesn't work and has to be fixed at some point by doing loads of radical things probably, and doing those radical things is possible and won't bring the sky falling in. It has reminded people that emergency services, hospital workers, and a bunch of other jobs are actually important and society doesn't function without them. It has allowed a lot of people to spend much needed time alone, or with their families.

Unfortunately loads of people died and will die and businesses went bankrupt and will go bankrupt. So those things are bad, but we will remember them, probably.

[Tinhampton]

https://imgur.com/gallery/Wvrs0EH

[Rojava Free State]

Money Printer goes BRRRR

-Loben the 2nd.

[Tinhampton]

Honour the fallen SecGen candidate!

(Image)

I drew a picture for you from homeschool, CCD.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Knowing how this year's going, Yellowstone's gonna start a-rumblin' any time now.

Good. Wyoming has has it too good for too long. Square-bordered fucks.

[Kowani]

Be sure to catch our next episode, where you will learn that Hitler was, in fact, a man of peace, and was bullied into WW2 against his will by the Jews the Freemasons the British Empire international Bolshevism American Big Money.

So long folks, and death to America!

[The Allied Tribe]

let's do it babyyyy


volcanic winter! plague! what more could a boy want

A grilled cheese honestly.

[United Muscovite Nations]

Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I have to tend to my nipple after burning it with coffee.

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, in the General Assembly... (Ara = Araraukar, a famous GA commentator)

OOC:

While I don't agree at all with your mopey, stuck-up, smartass tone, you raise valid points that I will include in a separate revision.


Except for this one. Who gives a flying fuck about what's going on in real life? The events of NS and real life have zero correlation with each other and to think otherwise is utterly moronic.

You should do some revisions on the subject of cooperating with other people. Ara provided meaningful feedback—and though I disagree with him all over the place—treating the provision of feedback well within the lines of decorum on this forum as indicative of some kind of "mopey, stuck-up, smartass tone" will not get you much feedback or win you much support. This portion of NationStates is both a policy game and a political one. Success requires both making good policies and making good political choices. Insulting your interlocutors is neither.

[Zeritae]

Roblox is the only place where you can napalm a group of children and not be a war criminal.

[Rojava Free State]

It doesn't really give your faith any credit that the only thing you can do is make vain threats of supernatural revenge because your Church was smacked into being a minor city-state and not able to execute people anymore.

Jesus christ, did he just roast the Catholic Church hotter than the catholic church claims gay people roast in hell?

[Rojava Free State]

Roblox is the only place where you can napalm a group of children and not be a war criminal.

Ah there I am. Lmao.

[Rojava Free State]

A Republican American friend of mine's favorite saying is, I ain't never lied, lol what a lie.

Republican American. That's a new ethnic terminology.