The NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition II: The Winner!

[The Archregimancy]

I've removed the posts from the recent thread derail; anyone who thinks I've overstepped my authority can raise a report in Moderation.

The posts haven't been deleted, merely moved to the Mod locker; so the evidence of the derail still remains, just hidden away.

[United Muscovite Nations]

I've removed the posts from the recent thread derail; anyone who thinks I've overstepped my authority can raise a report in Moderation.

The posts haven't been deleted, merely moved to the Mod locker; so the evidence of the derail still remains, just hidden away.

I'm fine with that (and I'll delete this post on my own as long as no one replies to it) as long as you at least delete the part of your post where you trollname me and cast moral judgement, because that was the part I was angry about.

[Thermodolia]

The fabulously fascist furry flummoxed by the sexy Stalinist stallion gazed in wonder as the flirty flaming fascist thought to himself how quizzically queer our stupendously elegant socialist Equine appeared.

[Rojava Free State]

"Why the hell are you looking in my bedroom window," the young woman yelled at me.

[Ethel mermania]

"Why the hell are you looking in my bedroom window," the young woman yelled at me.

My arrest reports do not qualify as fiction, though I wish they did

[The Free Joy State]

Dear Reader, I shall recount the tempestuous night when the poor came (for this is a Victorian novel, where “the poor” are often a morass in cloth caps and shawls) wailing of a murderer; alas, Baron Hardiwhistle -- a stiff-legged pug-nosed man with bulging belly and striped dress-shirt -– was paying court and I desired an advantageous match (as Papa lost both money and sanity to his chocolate-bunny farm), so I bolted the window for silence, but (aye me) as the sneering Baron reached for the large adze concealed down his trousers, I suspected our love may be ill-fated.

[Rojava Free State]

I reached in my pants and she gasped in euphoria as I pulled out my big, hard, juicy, beautiful new Samsung Galaxy S10, with it's high definition camera, sleek casing and screen protection.

[Andsed]

I stood against a group of 5 year olds all so confident in their fantasy of this being a ¨play fight,¨ but I show no mercy something they would learn soon.

[Samudera Darussalam]

I smiles at him, he smiles at me, and his hand slaps me in the face.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.

[Valentine Z]

I woke up to the sound of some ruffling in the kitchen, which is then my lovely wife shouting out to me that she was preparing some supper and would like to eat with me, which in turn perplexed me because my wife is beside me in my bed when I heard my name called out... all of which was less of ghosts and just more of me having two wives.

[Thermodolia]

Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.

Hahahahaha.

That’s great.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.

Hahahahaha.

That’s great.

You’re welcome.

[Dumb Ideologies]

Bob was a male human of indeterminate age, brown-haired, small nosed, brown-eyed, of more or less average build, and this is the life story of his breakfast.

[Valentine Z]

In the Year 2025, Humanity has reached the lowest of the low with their development: Love is at an all-time low, and it's up to me, The Charmcaster, to bring back lust and fun bed times to everyone!

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Bob was a male human of indeterminate age, brown-haired, small nosed, brown-eyed, of more or less average build, and this is the life story of his breakfast.

Squiggly, squirming, shaking, the mother hauled him into the oven; crispy Bob son is best enjoyed piping hot.

[Dumb Ideologies]

The dream long fought for had been realised, one people, one nation, one ruler, eighty-seven genders, but one question remained - what was the correct term of address for a feminine-leaning non-binary pansexual wolfkin absolute ruler of colour?

[An Alan Smithee Nation]

After centuries of deliberation by the finest ovine minds, the sheep General was finally ready to announce the plan for the conquest of Britain to the assembled woolly horde - "First we take Prestatyn, then we take King's Lynn".

[Andsed]

I looked at my friend and mentioned the name of someone who only exists in my head and my naive foolish friend asked a two word question that would signal his end in the blaze of embarrassment and clever word play, ¨who´s Joe?¨

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Sleepily, she opened the door to a room full of people; after months of working from home due to quarantine, she had forgotten it was time to go back to the office and her bunny PJs were not acceptable attire anymore.

[US-SSR]

"So help me God," concluded President Trump after taking his second oath of office.

[Unstoppable Empire of Doom]

Erroneously confusion enveloped the sentance as it was bequeathed to all within earshot, despite their best efforts to retard it, and soon all who had succumb developed the prescribed confusion as if it were poorly handed out as a sentance by the rather absurd Judge Dredge and her merry band of recently confused voluntold convictims.

[Italios]

you guys are fucking slacking tbh, very weak submissions so far.

"Diopolis often spent his days preoccupied about how the rest of America could sit there gorging on disgusting fast food and fluorine filled water created by Jewish Bolshevism; he, meanwhile, only consumed the purest of nutrients - single malt scottish whiskey mixed the cells of aborted babies he'd failed to save, and pulverized Deutsche Arbeiterpartei pamphlets"

[Bombadil]

The interesting thing about the Boeing 767, thought Ned, is that not only is it Boeing's first wide-body twinjet but its two-crew glass cockpit is also a first for Boeing, which allows for a common type pilot rating meaning pretty much anyone can fly this plane, 'I hope there's a good movie on' he sighed as he boarded American Airlines Flight 11.

[Ethel mermania]

I am a sick man, ... I am a spiteful man, I am an unattractive man, I believe my liver is diseased; However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me