My good friends, my name is Idi Amin Dada, but you may just call me His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, King of Scotland and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular. Four years ago in 2016, I beat Caelapes in a landslide however due to fiendish vote-rigging, he was elected Secretary-General. Now, four years later, I ask for you good people today to vote again for me to become Secretary-General of the World Assembly. I am the world's greatest general and have many wives. Europeans in particular love me and they give me many great things. If elected, I promise to remove all Obote men from the ranks of the World Assembly and expand the State Research Bureau, the scientific organisation I founded to further the cause of humanity with many medical innovations which you should all be very proud of and appreciative.
The women love me, which is why you should love me to. I will promise to make the World Assembly very good again. Remember, Amin is the greatest and the only person I fear is God, for I have survived nine attempts on my life. I am invisible.
Thank you very much, thank you very much and thank you very much indeed.
Vote Idi Amin!
IF ELECTED I WILL
- Get rid of the Obote men
- Increase production of yellow Volkswagen Beetles for above purpose
- Abolish the General Assembly and Security Council
- Transfer all power to the Secretary-General
- Thank you very much!
