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PS2/Aga - Request a Personal Panda!

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

PS2/Aga - Request a Personal Panda!

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:31 pm

Image

UPDATE: Request a personalised panda here
UPDATE: WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T VOTE PANDA? Read more here


Hello Nations of the World!

I am your friendly local panda, promising something that no other candidate can - free pandas!
There are a number of reasons why this is desirable:


1. Pandas are cute
2. Pandas are fluffy
3. Pandas are low maintenance (what else were you going to do with all that bamboo?)
4. Pandas won't claw your face off when you try to pet us


Vote for me to claim your free panda! ^_^

Image
Last edited by Pencil Sharpeners 2 on Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:17 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Yohannes
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Posts: 13161
Founded: Mar 17, 2010
Ex-Nation

Re: Vote PS2 for Free Pandas!

Postby Yohannes » Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:42 pm

Tempting :p

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Founded: Aug 21, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:43 pm

Yohannes wrote:Tempting :p

*Holds a smol panda close to you*

He's called Timmy, do you want him?
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Kandorith
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Founded: Aug 26, 2009
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Kandorith » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:13 pm

So handing out pandas like candy... does that mean I can eat them?
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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:15 pm

Kandorith wrote:So handing out pandas like candy... does that mean I can eat them?

Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?
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ROM
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Posts: 291
Founded: Mar 23, 2012
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby ROM » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:17 pm

Wowwww, typical lib resorting to handing out free stuff in order to gain votes. I expect nothing else from someone who resides in a region that once was known as the South Pacific Socialist Republic (SPSR).
Author of SC Resolution #186 Commend Travelling Region

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:20 pm

ROM wrote:Wowwww, typical lib resorting to handing out free stuff in order to gain votes. I expect nothing else from someone who resides in a region that once was known as the South Pacific Socialist Republic (SPSR).

Excuse me the handing out of pandas will be very beneficial to the World
1. Increases awareness of this utterly adorable species, therefore improving conservation
2. Increases welfare of citizens by providing them with a fluffy friend
3. Will destroy the infamous panda trafficking ring, since nobody will have any use for it any more
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ROM
Envoy
 
Posts: 291
Founded: Mar 23, 2012
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby ROM » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:25 pm

okayyy SPSR. You are fake news and your idealogy is a failed one that does not lead to the betterment of Nations on NS.
Author of SC Resolution #186 Commend Travelling Region

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Auphelia
Minister
 
Posts: 2677
Founded: Jan 05, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Auphelia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:38 pm

Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?


Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.
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Condemned for Being the Baddest Old Biddy

Kyrusia wrote:...This one. This one is clever. I like this one.


★★★★☆
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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:42 pm

Auphelia wrote:
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?


Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.

Pandas are not quite as tasty as beef... or chicken... or pork... or literally any other meat.

The distribution of pandas will be supported be a network of conveyor belts wrapped around the World. I'll expand on this tomorrow

I don't know what Caelapes has done tbh, I suspect nothing, which is probably for the best since they are one of those panda-hating Commies.
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Outer Sparta
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Founded: Dec 26, 2014
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:43 pm

But how are we going to pay for them?
social democracy, environmental protection, universal healthcare, free college, social equality, LGBT, pro-choice,
GOP, corporate socialism, Trump, neoconservatism, white supremacy, extreme political views, corruption

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Yohannes
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Ex-Nation

Re: Vote PS2 for Free Pandas!

Postby Yohannes » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:44 pm

Auphelia wrote:Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.


Empty promises? Card bribes? Trump, Kanye and the Dragon? Panda for eating?

I love Election 2020 :p

Edit:

Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:
Yohannes wrote:Tempting :p

*Holds a smol panda close to you*

He's called Timmy, do you want him?


Omggggg
Last edited by Yohannes on Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:46 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?

Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.
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"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
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Outer Sparta
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:49 pm

Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?

Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.

Goodie. But what if those environmental people say planting bamboo everywhere is bad for the environment?
social democracy, environmental protection, universal healthcare, free college, social equality, LGBT, pro-choice,
GOP, corporate socialism, Trump, neoconservatism, white supremacy, extreme political views, corruption

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:51 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.

Goodie. But what if those environmental people say planting bamboo everywhere is bad for the environment?

Bamboo is a plant. Plants help the environment by taking in CO2.

Also, environmentalists can totally be bribed with free pandas.
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Badly Bearhaved
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Posts: 21
Founded: Sep 14, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Badly Bearhaved » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:54 pm

Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.
A N T I P A N D A

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Mon Civia
Secretary
 
Posts: 38
Founded: Mar 14, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Mon Civia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:56 pm

Will you also supply bamboo?

I don't think I have enough bamboo.

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:05 pm

Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.

Just look at the hatred exuding from this anti-panda extremist. This is what happens when you don't allow the cuteness into your life.
Mon Civia wrote:Will you also supply bamboo?

I don't think I have enough bamboo.

We will assist with that!
As per my earlier post:
With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap
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"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
"Laws aren't as important as statistics!" - Amerion
""of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere" - La Jem's issue-writing bot

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Auphelia
Minister
 
Posts: 2677
Founded: Jan 05, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Auphelia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:06 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?


We will make the marsupials pay for it, of course.

Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.


If they wish to provide us with free, succulent panda flesh on a regular basis, who are we to deny that?

I don't see any other candidate offering such delicious incentives to garner votes.
4 Term Local Councillor of the South Pacific
The Grand Dame of Deliciously, Despicably Dastardly Deeds and Devilishly Deranged Doings

Condemned for Being the Baddest Old Biddy

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★★★★☆
“Auphelia is one cold-hearted killer. Would recommend for all nations interested in Creative Torture. Make sure to give a large tip so you don’t get stuffed in the Microwave.”

— Asuriel S.

★★★☆☆
"I'm scared and kind of want to know more. Just don't tell her I gave her three stars. Please."

- Anonymous

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Founded: Aug 21, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:08 pm

Auphelia wrote:
Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.


If they wish to provide us with free, succulent panda flesh on a regular basis, who are we to deny that?

I don't see any other candidate offering such delicious incentives to garner votes.

As concerned as I am about the opinions on display here... this will get me more votes. So go for it. This is just like real life
Last edited by Pencil Sharpeners 2 on Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
"Laws aren't as important as statistics!" - Amerion
""of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere" - La Jem's issue-writing bot

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Auphelia
Minister
 
Posts: 2677
Founded: Jan 05, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Auphelia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:26 pm

Candidate, what is your plan in the event a WA member nation is provided with a defective panda?

What systems are to be put in place to compensate for such inevitable failures?
4 Term Local Councillor of the South Pacific
The Grand Dame of Deliciously, Despicably Dastardly Deeds and Devilishly Deranged Doings

Condemned for Being the Baddest Old Biddy

Kyrusia wrote:...This one. This one is clever. I like this one.


★★★★☆
“Auphelia is one cold-hearted killer. Would recommend for all nations interested in Creative Torture. Make sure to give a large tip so you don’t get stuffed in the Microwave.”

— Asuriel S.

★★★☆☆
"I'm scared and kind of want to know more. Just don't tell her I gave her three stars. Please."

- Anonymous

Charlia wrote:You, I like.

You're entertaining. And your signature makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the insiiii--

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 469
Founded: Aug 21, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:09 am

Auphelia wrote:Candidate, what is your plan in the event a WA member nation is provided with a defective panda?

What systems are to be put in place to compensate for such inevitable failures?

I think you'll find that all pandas are perfect, and therefore this will never happen.
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"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
"Laws aren't as important as statistics!" - Amerion
""of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere" - La Jem's issue-writing bot

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Posts: 469
Founded: Aug 21, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:11 pm

Panda, watching himself slowly drop off the leaderboard

Image
Proudly Pro Panda
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Owner of the World #1 nations for Nudity, Law Enforcement, Information Technology

"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
"Laws aren't as important as statistics!" - Amerion
""of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere" - La Jem's issue-writing bot

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Agalaesia
Secretary
 
Posts: 35
Founded: Sep 23, 2018
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Agalaesia » Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:24 am

Vote for Pandaga 2020.

Free Pandas for everyone.
Agalaesia

Senior Fellow and WA Secretary of TSP | NSGE Organiser | Editor in Chief Of The Rejected Realms Media Corporation | Proud Merlin of the Kyorgia Puppet Storage Military

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Pencil Sharpeners 2
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Posts: 469
Founded: Aug 21, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:23 pm

What happens if you don't vote for Pencil Sharpeners 2?


You walk silently down the empty street; the crumbling ruins of the city around you. Flames flicker in the distance over the dying embers of what used to be our Earth. How could it have gone so wrong? But you know deep inside what the reason is, and you are racked with guilt every moment of your now meaningless, joyless life. ‘What if we had given Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un free pandas?’ you think to yourself as an irradiated dust cloud washes over you. ‘Maybe… just maybe that Pencil Sharpeners 2 guy was right - a free panda given to every human being would have been a good idea.’

It’s too late now though. You had your chance. And you blew it. As the storm picks up, a figure emerges from the haze - a giant statue of the part-time politician and full-time sex god Vladimir Putin. In this masterpiece carved of granite, he is cuddling a baby panda, a symbol of what could have been.
“WHY PRESIDENT PUTIN!?” you yell into the heavens, allowing more uranium-infused air into your fragile lungs. “WHY DID WE NOT LISTEN TO YOU AND YOUR STATIONERY-THEMED PARTNER!?”

It had been just two short years since Pencil Sharpeners 2 had lost the WA Secretary-General election, having run alongside Putin’s alias Agalaesia. You couldn’t remember which bland, faceless candidate had won, only that things had started going downhill quickly. Without adorable, cuddly pandas to keep them company, the people grew restless and bitter. The discontent began to seep out onto the streets, first with small scuffles, and then the big boys got involved: Kim Jong un with his red button; Trump with his bigger red button.

Putin stood, statesman-like and sexy as always, in between them, trying to de-escalate tensions and save the World. PS2 continued to munch bamboo and sleep, just as he had always done. But their efforts were not enough, and within months, the fate of our once-beautiful planet was sealed.

You reach a clearing in the rubble, and break down in tears as the scale of the devastation sinks in. Thousands of years of human history, all gone. And soon the humans will be too. You sink to your knees, coughing violently as the radiation poisoning spreads relentlessly through your body. This is it. This is the end. You have nobody to blame but yourself. You slump onto the ground as what remains of the World goes fuzzy, and then dark, around you. As you drift into permanent unconsciousness, the only thing coming with you is guilt.




The future doesn’t have to be this way. You can change it. Vote panda. Vote peace. Vote PandAga2020.
Proudly Pro Panda
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"NS is an endless escher stairway of crazy" - Seraph/Erinor
"Laws aren't as important as statistics!" - Amerion
""of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere" - La Jem's issue-writing bot

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