"Alternative Quotes"

[Klorgia1]

The Game is simple, but going about it can be most fun when its complex!

Make up a fake quote from history. It can be modern slang spoken by someone from ancient times, or something which would fool someone reading a history textbook.

For obvious reasons, I'll start.

"No man becomes an enemy of our cause before becoming an enemy of God."
-Pope Urban II

[Boring People]

“Hockey is pretty cool. My favorite team is the Toronto Maple Leafs.”
-Peter The Great

[The Sladerstan]

"There is no victory in defeat, but there certainly is defeat in every victory." - Alexander the Great

[Klorgia1]

I'm God in all ways but the official name. Lets change that.
-Pedro II, shortly before founding the church of Pedro.

[The Cosmic Mainframe]

"The only thing we have to fear is sand - coarse, rough, irritating rock which gets everywhere."
- Franklin Roosevelt

[4chan Unity]

"Gilgamesh would like to continue conquering the Mesopotamic plains, but first, a word from our sponsors: RAID: Shadow Legends!
I've never been much of a mobile gamer, but, forget everything you think you know about mobile games because Raid Shadow Legends is one of the most ambitious RPG projects of 2019 has just been released and will change everything. Just look at the level of detail of these characters! If you use the code in the description you can start with 50,000 silver and join the Special Launch Tournament, and you better hurry because it's getting big fast! You can play for totally free with the link below on your smartphone."
- Gilgamesh, before continuing to conquer Mesopotamia

[Neue Coolidge]

Memes will not change if we wait for some other human or some other time. Nobody is the one we've been waiting for. Nobody changes.
-Barack Obama

[The Cosmic Mainframe]

"The prime directive is not merely a set of rules; it's a plot device, and a very good one."
- Jean-Luc Picard

[Klorgia1]

The Internet Archive is the most important website because it has this viewtopic.php?f=25&t=482481

-Tom Holland mcSpoily

(Fun fact: I legit put this in the internet archive)

[Pax Somaliana]

"I had an emo phase as a teenager. Unfortunately, I lost all of my compositons from that period in a house fire."

-Johann Sebastian Bach

[The Cosmic Mainframe]

We trust you have received the usual lecture from the 
local Rick Roller. It usually boils down to these three things:

#1) Never gonna give you up.

#2) Never gonna let you down.

#3) Never gonna turn around and desert you.

- Unknown, sudo

[Zeritae]

Hear, hear, that God is your God and that Satan is his enemy
- NOT The Bible

[Greenwichian Arcadia]

Perhaps the most worrisome feature of quotes appearing in social media is the blind faith of the masses in their authenticity.
—Lenin

[Zeritae]

"One day, the proletarian revolution shall be realized, by capitalism"
- Karm Larx

[Greenwichian Arcadia]

“To Italian ambassador: NUTS!”
—Ioannis Metaxas

[Voxija]

"To be honest, I've decided that I don't really like the whites" - Nelson Mandela.

[Zeritae]

I like the state of israel
-ahdanis xigioet

[Nevadaia]

“Any day the sand blows, i Want to touch my salad”
—Free Die Element, Bossemenian Rap City

[The Cosmic Mainframe]

"There is only one truly serious memeological question, and that is self deletus."
- Albert Camus

[Jews and Gypsies]

“Thank You, Based God!” — Albert Einstein

[Old Zealand Founder]

"bruh" - Julius Caesar

[Amarawai]

"a single Death is a Death,A million Death's is A lot of people died! Oh my Lenin!"
-Joseph Stalin

[Proud Zaidias]

"a single Death is a Death,A million Death's is A lot of people died! Oh my Lenin!"
-Joseph Stalin

"oink"
-Steven Hawking

[Hillary Clinton 2016-2024]

"Execute führerdirective 66"
-Friedrich Olbricht

[Amarawai]

"These creature Stoned my Warm heart.With her died my Warm Heart"
-Joseph Stalin.
(It's actually reversed,BTW)