Daily Life and Diplomacy (Jygeria Only, IC)

[Kallist]

"She's power hungry." Eris replied through a mouthful of prime frankfurter. "She claims to have Kallist's best interests at heart, and I genuinely think she does. However, it's to an extreme degree. Marriage is an oppressive government institution? Abolish it and replace it with 'love' to the state. Representative democracy filled with nothing but publicity stunts? Replace it with a cabal of political insiders for the supposed sake of the people. Et cetera, et cetera, you get the idea. I think she sees autarky as the next step in creating a 'true' socialist state in her eyes." A pause. "Hilary Smoochnger is everything an Erisian should be...if they didn't think for themselves and took everything at face value. That's her biggest problem, I think. She sees the Establishment as the end all, be all for Kallist. She misses the point of what Kallist values are entirely. Socialism is not about an authoritarian government. It's about giving to the people. Letting them think for themselves. And Hilary? She doesn't want to think for herself."

[Kagetori]

Meanwhile, while Eris conversed with Sophia, Mistress Bird nervously paced through her office. With the news of Kallist having closed its borders under the supposed threat of disease, she worried about the existing refugees she was taking in, especially given that, while she'd deliberately avoided saying where Eris was being held, the Establishment in Kallist still knew Eris was somewhere where Bird could personally attend to her.

A familiar aide, Barry Hal P. Fulman, came in, bearing a folder. "Madam President? I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I've got a report from the Tenebric Guardsmen." The Tenebric Guardsmen, the secret servicemen of Kagetori. Surely, this was important.

"What's the news, Barry?" she asked with an acknowledging nod.

Barry handed her the folder, which she opened to read. "Long story short, you were right to want to see to the Kallistian former leader's protection personally. After we processed the most recent influx of Kallistian refugees, we found some Establishment assassins trying to sneak in with them."

Bird sighed. "Well, that's going to make things thorny. I hope this was done with discretion, so as not to alert the other innocent refugees. The last thing we need is to stoke panic and paranoia."

"Yes, ma'am. These assassins we caught weren't found out until after all the other refugees were processed and welcomed into Kagetori at the border city of Geisthaven. Once they felt comfortable that they were going to get to accomplish their mission, they slipped, and we caught them."

"If they slip so easily at the accomplishment of the first step of their plans," Bird mused, "then they weren't very good assassins, to begin with. Either the Establishment sucks at picking hitmen, or..."

"They're a distraction for more competent hitmen?" Barry answered.

"Occam's Razor would suggest the former, but the latter can't be discounted." Bird frowned. "This is going to test our principles, Barry. Which is probably what the Establishment wants. They want us to fail, to fall into paranoia and fear, to submit to control. If we're going to make sure that doesn't happen, we're going to have to be extraordinarily careful." She closed the folder and handed it back to Barry. "Tell the director of the Guardsmen to get his most perceptive agents on this. We're going to appear to change nothing about our immigration and refugee policies, but we are going to vet them a little harder. If an assassin slips through the cracks and manages to get to Eris..." Her face darkened. "I'd never forgive myself."

[Lower Wardandian]

"I hope to avoid war, but if the new regime decides to go down the path of aggression..." Sophia said. "Well, it won't be pretty. I am sure you remember what happened the last time Lower Wardandian went to war. I fear how horrific things may get in Kallist if armed conflict breaks out, either between us and the Establishment, or the Establishment and your followers."

[Kallist]

"I'm certain either way, war will erupt." Eris said. "The Establishment is a group that has a one track mind of extremes. If it's 'for the good of Kallist', they will go to war."

----

The Establishment assassin looked at his interrogators as they sat him down in a solitary cell; it consisted of a small table and chair, a single light hanging from the ceiling, swinging back and forth. He was dressed as a refugee from Kallist, hoping to get close to Eris XXIII on Hilary Smoochnger's orders; he needed to finish the job, after all. And the Kagetorian Guardsmen staring him down, pointing their weapons at him, weren't going to stop him. All he had to do was not talk.

[Lower Wardandian]

"On a less grim note, my daughter just started school." Sophia said after a moment.

----

A few minutes later, President Bird's phone rang. It was a Lower Wardandian number. Upon answering, a male voice spoke. "Hello, Madam President. I am John Hernandez of the Lower Wardandian Board of Directors. A little birdie told me you have an assassin from Kallist in your custody. If you wish to get him to talk, I know someone who can help you with that."

[Kallist]

"Really, now?" Eris asked. "Good for her. You have to get them brainwashed at an early age, I've heard."

[Lower Wardandian]

Sophia replied with a rather rude hand gesture.

[Kagetori]

A few minutes later, President Bird's phone rang. It was a Lower Wardandian number. Upon answering, a male voice spoke. "Hello, Madam President. I am John Hernandez of the Lower Wardandian Board of Directors. A little birdie told me you have an assassin from Kallist in your custody. If you wish to get him to talk, I know someone who can help you with that."

"John." Bird's voice sounded very grim, annoyed at the person she was talking to. "You know well that I'm not prepared to use some of your special methods. If I feel like I need any help with that, I'd sooner be talking to Sophia about it. At least she understands and respects my preference for discretion and some humanity when dealing with prisoners. Political or otherwise."

The Establishment assassin looked at his interrogators as they sat him down in a solitary cell; it consisted of a small table and chair, a single light hanging from the ceiling, swinging back and forth. He was dressed as a refugee from Kallist, hoping to get close to Eris XXIII on Hilary Smoochnger's orders; he needed to finish the job, after all. And the Kagetorian Guardsmen staring him down, pointing their weapons at him, weren't going to stop him. All he had to do was not talk.

Director Hart Case stared down the assassin his men had managed to capture. "What did you think was going to happen, huh? Did you think we were going to be so stupid as to not keep an eye out for exactly this sort of thing? Moreover..." He slammed an official order from the President herself, authorizing the Tenebric Guardsmen to vet incoming refugees more thoroughly, albeit subtlely. "...did you really think we'd not figure out the duplicitous nature of you and the others we caught so easily?"

[Lower Wardandian]

"Fine." He said. "Shall I connect you to the Merchant-General?"

[Kagetori]

"Fine." He said. "Shall I connect you to the Merchant-General?"

"I'd much prefer it, yes." Bird was currently in little mood to be messed around with.

[Lower Wardandian]

Sophia answered her ringing phone, leaning back in her chair. "President Bird. I did not expect to hear from you today. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

[Kagetori]

"Sorry to interrupt your lunch date, Sophia, but you know I'd rather talk to you than to John. We managed to pick up a few rather inept Establishment assassins out of a recent group of refugees. And to be honest...I'm worried about it. Sure, the Establishment could be just that dim, but, well...with lovely Eris around here, I don't think you'd blame me for a heightened level of concern that this might be a diversionary tactic."

[Kallist]

Director Hart Case stared down the assassin his men had managed to capture. "What did you think was going to happen, huh? Did you think we were going to be so stupid as to not keep an eye out for exactly this sort of thing? Moreover..." He slammed an official order from the President herself, authorizing the Tenebric Guardsmen to vet incoming refugees more thoroughly, albeit subtlely. "...did you really think we'd not figure out the duplicitous nature of you and the others we caught so easily?"

The Establishment assassin looked at the Director with a sneer. "You think you and your pig of a President are tough shit, aren't you? Well, the Establishment disagrees. You're holding an enemy of the state in custody. It's just business, see. Madam Hilary wants that obstacle you dare call the Prettiest One out of the way. For the good of the people of Kallist, and eventually for all the Free Lands."

[Lower Wardandian]

"Do you want me to have a...chat with them?" Sophia asked. "I used to be an interrogator. I can get a man to sing like a canary in no time."

[Kagetori]

The Establishment assassin looked at the Director with a sneer. "You think you and your pig of a President are tough shit, aren't you? Well, the Establishment disagrees. You're holding an enemy of the state in custody. It's just business, see. Madam Hilary wants that obstacle you dare call the Prettiest One out of the way. For the good of the people of Kallist, and eventually for all the Free Lands."

"Oh you think you're a badass, do ya?" Director Case snarked. "All hopped up and high on your party's ideals. But you see, Madam President Bird--and myself as well, you should know-- don't see it that way. We are providing asylum to the legal leader of Kallist as a result of your little coup." Director Case leaned in. "I don't give a damn what you think is right or wrong. The only one in this room who committed a crime is you. And if you don't recant your fanatical devotion to a tyrant and help us make sure your boss doesn't burn this region to the ground? You're going to find out just how flexible the laws can be around here...and how far pacificism can be pushed before we take up arms to defend what's right."

"Do you want me to have a...chat with them?" Sophia asked. "I used to be an interrogator. I can get a man to sing like a canary in no time."

"I've got Director Hart Case on this at the moment. He's Director of the Tenebric Guardsmen for a reason; I trust him to do what needs to be done within Kagetorian law. But, if it turns out we're at a limit..." She sighed. "I may need your help in doing things that I myself cannot. I have to hold onto some semblance of principle after all, but this whole thing has me spooked."

[Lower Wardandian]

"Then let me help. I can work with Captain Case to make these assassins talk." Sophia said. "All due respect, Madam President, this matter isn't limited to your nation. It will affect the whole region. I need answers just as badly as you do."

[Kallist]

Oh you think you're a badass, do ya?" Director Case snarked. "All hopped up and high on your party's ideals. But you see, Madam President Bird--and myself as well, you should know-- don't see it that way. We are providing asylum to the legal leader of Kallist as a result of your little coup." Director Case leaned in. "I don't give a damn what you think is right or wrong. The only one in this room who committed a crime is you. And if you don't recant your fanatical devotion to a tyrant and help us make sure your boss doesn't burn this region to the ground? You're going to find out just how flexible the laws can be around here...and how far pacificism can be pushed before we take up arms to defend what's right."

The assassin looked at first dumbfounded, then downright shocked; it was as if someone had pulled a gun on his pet platypus, and demanded 'Please give us a Golden Apple, or we'll have to pull the trigger '. "You believe Madam Smoochnger is a tyrant?!" Hard, loud, almost forced laughter erupted from the fanatic assassin. "Oh, nononono...no, Director. You misunderstand. We, the Establishment, are the most loyal to our dear land of Kallist and its values. We just think...well, the old folks had the right idea. They just didn't go far enough."

[Kagetori]

"You're not wrong, Sophia," Bird admitted. "Besides, I'd rather have you around here helping out with this than anyone else on the board. Just...don't do anything that'd make Kagetori look bad or hypocritical, please? I'm angry about this, but I'm not that pissed off. Yet."

The assassin looked at first dumbfounded, then downright shocked; it was as if someone had pulled a gun on his pet platypus, and demanded 'Please give us a Golden Apple, or we'll have to pull the trigger '. "You believe Madam Smoochnger is a tyrant?!" Hard, loud, almost forced laughter erupted from the fanatic assassin. "Oh, nononono...no, Director. You misunderstand. We, the Establishment, are the most loyal to our dear land of Kallist and its values. We just think...well, the old folks had the right idea. They just didn't go far enough."

"Then you ought to know how Kagetori and its citizens tend to think of extremists, kid." Case cocked his head and smirked. "On a scale of one to ten of people we like, folks like you are at a negative 13."

A Guardsman came over and whispered something in Case's ear. Case stood up, walked back from the table, put his hands in his pockets and chuckled. "Oh boy, things are about to get interesting for you, kid. We just got word from the Bird herself. Seems you've attracted the attention of the wrong damn people in this region." He turned around with a grin on his face. "Lower Wardanian people, no less."

[Kallist]

A Guardsman came over and whispered something in Case's ear. Case stood up, walked back from the table, put his hands in his pockets and chuckled. "Oh boy, things are about to get interesting for you, kid. We just got word from the Bird herself. Seems you've attracted the attention of the wrong damn people in this region." He turned around with a grin on his face. "Lower Wardanian people, no less."

Immediately the assassin's eyes widened into small pinpricks. There was damn good reason the borders had actually closed; well, twofold, really - one was to promote the racial supremacy of "pure" Kallistians (hence the ban on immigration) and to prevent international intervention in the soon-to-be renamed National Socialist States of Kallist's affairs. Namely, that of the former Eristocracy's greatest allies - Lower Wardanian. The Establishment was terrified of the 'capitalist gay-lover pigs' of Lower Wardanian. And the fact that in trying to prevent their involvement just bit the new regime in the ass hard was such sweet irony on the incompetence cake.

[Lower Wardandian]

Sophia soon arrived, humming to herself. She was carrying a brown bag, slung over her shoulder. "Greetings." She said to the captured assassin. "I think we are going to be good friends."

[Kagetori]

Case smiled brightly. "Madam Merchant-General. A pleasure to finally get to meet you. Our friend here hasn't yet done much except spout the party lines, but I'm sure he'll change his tune soon enough." Case turned to one of his fellow Guardsmen. "Go see if the Prettiest One and Madam President need anything. We'll be fine here."

[Lower Wardandian]

"Likewise." Sophia replied. "I read your dossier on the way over here, Case. I'm impressed."

[Kallist]

Sophia soon arrived, humming to herself. She was carrying a brown bag, slung over her shoulder. "Greetings." She said to the captured assassin. "I think we are going to be good friends."

The assassin very nearly emptied his own bowels before scrambling to escape; the Guardsmen, however, had taken measures to prevent such from happening; so, it was all for naught. "W-w-what do you want from me!?" The once-bold and cocky fanatic whined, reduced to exactly what he and his ilk were: pathetic wretched animals only out for themselves.

[Lower Wardandian]

"I'll be asking the questions." Sophia replied, setting the bag down. She pulled out the contents: a pair of pliers, a few knives of various lengths, a hammer and a box of nails, and a powered drill.

[Kagetori]

"now, it should be noted, that officially, Madam Merchant-General can't do anything that would violate Kagetorian law. And officially, she's not going to." Case made a subtle signal to a mirror, and on the other side of the one-way glass, Guardsmen immediately disconnected the recording equipment from inside the holding room. "But we're not on official record for the time being, so Madam Mendes? Have fun."