Noctur Press Association [CLOSED, Noctur Only]

by **Radiatia** » Sat Jun 29, 2019 5:57 am

FILM REVIEW: TRENTA II: CRUMLO THIS
"AN INSULT TO BOTH TRENTA CRUMLO AND THE MEDIUM OF CINEMA"

June 29th 4065NC Last updated 23:49 Exegrad Standard Time

DAS ENGEL, AMENTRA
Trenta II: Crumlo This is a jaw-dropping movie for all the wrong reasons, writes our lead film reviewer Theodor Paterson, and is offensive not just to the memory of one of Nui-ta's greatest leaders, but frankly is a crime against cinema.

_{Theatrical release poster}

It's official: Das Engel is out of ideas. Either that or our film industry has become a case of too much money, too little talent - whatever the reason, no possible excuse could possibly be given for the utter atrocity that was Trenta II.

The concept alone should have been cause for alarm: It's billed as an inexplicable sequel to the Nui-tan movie Trenta - an excellent biopic which went on to win a host of awards here in Radiatia including Best Picture.

Trenta Crumlo (her actual name is Trenta i-Harendo) is hugely respected in Nui-ta, and she's hugely respected here too - she is after all the only foreign leader to have a statue in Federation Square. Nui-ta are our most important ally, but if they wanted to end that alliance after seeing this movie I for one would not be able to blame them.

This movie was the cinematic equivalent of someone urinating the words "Radiatia Fuck Yeah!" on her grave - although frankly that might have been less offensive than the movie and I wouldn't have permanently lost two hours of my life to it.

The original Trenta movie ended with her untimely death to illness. So what could the sequel possibly contain? Well apparently, she faked her death, moved to Exegrad and became a cop who 'doesn't play by the rules'. I'm not making this up.

Oh also there is a LOT of gratuitous sex and nudity in this film although you can tell it's not a weird pornography by virtue of the fact that porn actors tend to have some grasp of human anatomy, and don't make cartoonish facial expressions in the act. It was like those scenes were directed by a 7 year old who had been told about sex on the playground, and filled in the gaps using his imagination alone. There's actually a genuine line of dialogue in the movie in which a fully grown adult character asks if he can see Trenta's "pee-pee".

I was so incredulous about this movie, which is also not a comedy despite being almost laughable, that I had to track down and interview the culprits responsible.

The film was directed by Michael Harbour - most famous for the Battling Seizure Robots live action film adaptation - and its script was written by a little known screenwriter named Donny Wisseau who despite his thick and obvious Poldanian accent claims to be from New Vashura.

"This film is not documentary, I wanted to make real film about Radiatia, and so I take certain liberties with boring history stuff." Said Wisseau. "In original film, main character is Prime Minister. That boring - I make her sexy cop in this film, yes?"

Michael Harbour agreed with this approach.

"Look, I wanted something that was going to appeal to a Radiatian audience, and the fact is that Radiatians aren't interested in history or stories about dead Prime Ministers from foreign countries. They want boobs, big explosions and a setting they can relate to, hence why the film is set in Exegrad."

But why did they choose to defile the original Trenta film with this garbage?

"The studio bought the rights to Trenta and originally it was just going to be remake with a slightly bigger budget and production value," Explained Harbour. "But we can all agree the first film wasn't bad. And I wanted to do something creative. We made one or two changes in the script but I'm confident that this is exactly what the real Trenta Crumlo would have done had she lived a bit longer."

Donny Wisseau claims his script is not an insult to her memory and did "many researches" on her before writing the film.

"I see the original film at least three times, so I know who this character is, it no problem I can write her lines blindfolded, it no problem." He said.

I asked him point blank if he actually knew who Trenta Crumlo was, and after some argument it emerged that Wisseau didn't even realise she was a real historical figure.

"I don't see problem here. She non-fiction character, I make fiction movie about her. Is fine. Is not documentary, is just good entertaining Das Engel film."

I then asked Michael Harbour what was going through his head while he directed this film, and his response was candid.

"Drugs." He said. "I was about on about four kinds of LSD while that was being shot. I didn't even know there were different kinds, but that's the great thing about this industry. It's not about the money or the fame, and certainly not about the movies - the film industry is just one big money laundering ring for drug dealers."

Yet despite this the film does seem to have an anti-drugs message. One of the few bits of plot I was able to glean from the movie was that Trenta was trying to stop a man who was "planning to destroy Radiatia by selling marijuana".

Though to be honest, this movie is a better argument in favour of legalising cannabis - because you need to be high to endure this pile of dung.

Verdict:
★☆☆☆☆
"We watched this movie so you don't have to."

- RPNN

If you would like to become a film reviewer for the RPNN all you need is a totally useless degree in either fine arts or media, and parents who are rich and well-connected enough to get you a job here! We look forward to hearing from you!

In Other News:

Exegrad gears up for mayoral election
Saskenya woman faces federal murder charges for "aborting" her 15 year old son
FEATURE: The 10 most expensive cities in Radiatia

Posts · by **Yohannes** » Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:58 pm

By: Hannah Kühn
16 Jul, 2019 6:30 pm EYT

Per cent change of settlement cash in the last 24 hours
Yohannesian Quertz russling ▲0.01073% I NationStates/Universal Standard Dollar ▼0.00409%

The Bank of Yohannes’ board of directors has agreed to hold discussions with Ionician IT services and software provider YAG Technologies International about a potential supply agreement, as the Nineteen Countries’ oldest bank looks for possible new suppliers and technology solution providers after enjoying sustained overseas branch network and share-price growth in 2018, people close to the bank confirmed.

The early negotiation shows the strong willingness of the Bank of Yohannes’ strategic decision-makers to keep up with the company’s growth outside Yohannes, and executives this week believe that YAG Technologies could be one of the bank’s most reliable logistics providers and suppliers in 2020, the Association of Yohannesian Banks learned. “In 2018 alone the Bank of Yohannes had expanded in at least 50 countries,” said Jörg Kaiser, the chief executive of longtime IT provider Royal Alexandria Products in Data Processing Corporation, which until last year was the only Yohannesian company in the bank’s list of five biggest suppliers. Now it ranks ninth. “There’s no way the bank’s current suppliers in Yohannes could keep up with that kind of growth,” Mr Kaiser said, shaking his head and sighing sadly.

Heightened pressure on the banks from Yohannesian government officials to upgrade decades-old IT systems—and for the bank to explore how it could improve its underperforming procurement systems and outdated architectures—also factored into recent discussions, as the Financial Diary noted recently on the Association of Yohannesian Banks’ Q3 Banking Technology Procurement livestream.

But that is due to change soon.

Two important reasons are forcing this shake-up: the dramatic growth of cybersecurity threats that financial institutions must address; and the rise of digital banking in countries where the bank operates in.

The Bank of Yohannes, active in over 300 countries and World Assembly member states, relies on many foreign IT and software firms so that it can manage cash, finance trade, and fund its branch operations and investment projects outside the Nineteen Countries. The agreement by the Bank of Yohannes’ board of directors to kick-start discussions was earlier reported by The Royal Alexandria Times. A Beltway insider close to the board said the discussion with YAG Technologies is set to be concluded by the end of the September quarter.

The board of directors is accountable to the bank’s shareholders, who vote for the members of the board. The board of directors is also required under the Bank of Yohannes Reunification Act 1990 to provide an annual accountability document to the Nineteen Countries Government no later than a quarter after the end of every financial year. Although formally the Bank of Yohannes is not registered as a national banking institution because of its modern-day private and multinational attributes, it may very well be considered as one because of the very important national role it has played for the Yohannesian economy since 1990.

“The board chooses, supervises and dismisses senior executives, such as the chief executive, and is indirectly involved in important decision-making process,” said Anette König, a former board member who is also a bank lobbyist. “For instance, a foreign supplier agreement or IT procurement process that would help the bank’s financial operations in many countries outside Yohannes.”

The Bank of Yohannes’ chief executive, Dame Julianna Stefansson, has told major investors and long-standing partners of the bank that multinational supplier agreements are “technically” the responsibility of the chairman. But the “hands-off” group chairman has instead chosen to delegate his authority to the board since 2017. “Sir Matthew Gilligan was widely blamed for the bank’s failures during the bank’s lowest point in its long history, and the three years of decline following the World Assembly Condemnation of Automagfreek financial crisis in 2012,” said Ms König.

The Ministry of Economy, Industry and Trade is willing to give the green light to a multinational supplier and IT procurement agreement between the Bank of Yohannes and YAG Technologies International, while the bank’s Overseas Investment Office answers questions from its foreign investors and high-net-worth clients about YAG Technologies International’s industry reputation and reliability, the Association of Yohannesian Banks learned this morning.

According to the Ionician company’s website, YAG Technologies was founded in 1976 to provide business computing devices in a rapidly changing world, and it quickly became a staple supplier of electronic systems for firms “all around the world.” Headquartered in Astyria, YAG Technologies deals primarily with multinational corporations and government institutions.

“Anybody working in banking and finance and having to deal with software has got to be able to use the latest technology properly,” said Dame Eleanor White, Chairperson of the Group Audit Committee. “They’ve got to be able to prevent the disclosure of personal information, and other types of misuse of information that will invade the privacy of our high-net-worth clients and business partners.”

Senior bank officers close to Dame Eleanor said government officials under the GOP-controlled Parliament in Royal Alexandria believed multinational companies like YAG Technologies have the wherewithal to provide technological solutions to address current and emerging World Assembly banking regulations and national security compliance requirements outside Yohannes.

The Bank of Yohannes is in talks to sign up a number of overseas information technology companies to its International Suppliers Network in the second half of 2019, and plans to have agreements with several major lead logistics providers done by the next financial year.

Bank of Yohannes shares have closed 1.7 per cent lower tonight at $11.80 on the Royal Alexandria Stock Exchange (RASE), as skeptical investors absorb the company’s latest update.

hannah.kühn@ryb.yo • Association of Yohannesian Banks

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Yohannes_First

First we haev Khataiy building Mosques in the Kingdom of Alexandria and Khataiyi Muftis marrying Yohannesian women now we have more agreements with foreign companies coming from a region called Astyria? Sounds Asiatic to me, must eb from the Orient. Disgusting.

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Feud For Thought

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Aweebitsick

I haev to work for my money eighthours fivedays a week and we got wanka like Bank of Yohannes Sir Matthew makin $250 per hour not fair I say lock em all up!

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Blimey Weasley

Jesus Christ this comments section

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by **Radiatia** » Wed Jul 17, 2019 3:13 am

RECORD-BREAKING HEATWAVE ROASTS RADIATIA

Julu 11th 4065NC Last updated 21:25 Exegrad Standard Time

MIDGARD CITY, MIDGARD
Millions of Radiatians are facing warnings of extreme temperatures, as a series of major heatwaves are set to engulf almost the entire nation.

_{Residents of Midgard try to cool off by jumping into a fountain in Xolo Park}

Most of the country is set to face temperatures in the high 30s and 40s over the next few days, with several cities facing record-breaking heat.

In Midgard, Radiatia's third largest city and a city not normally associated with hot weather, the mercury rose to 39 degrees Celsius - breaking the city's previous record of 35 degrees Celsius, recorded in 3078 NC, by four degrees.

"I'm used to 40 degrees below freezing point, but I've never seen anything like this!" Said Midgard resident Paul Hendrik. "It's absolute hell. We have heating, we have houses that are built to keep heat in to help us in the winter, but fuck me sideways if you can find a place with actual airconditioning in this city!"

While these temperatures are more common in the southern states, southerners found themselves suffering from the heat too: In Exegrad, temperatures rose to 42 degrees Celsius, with residents flocking indoors to escape the extreme heat, while Xerconia reached 41 degrees - both cities still not at record breaking levels, but nonetheless facing far higher than average temperatures.

Even the arctic north wasn't spared from the heatwave, with Aizopul, Polaris hitting a record breaking 25 degrees Celsius.

Meteorologists are warning that the heatwave is particularly concentrated along the western states - states which normally don't face the kinds of extreme summer heat as southern and central states.

Das Engel is predicted to hit 40 degrees this weekend, Radii is sitting at 38 degrees, which is 10 degrees hotter than average for the time of year, while citizens in Norfus, Clode and Chauch are all facing temperatures well over 35 degrees, with beaches along the normally frigid Northern Ocean this week packed with sunbathers and swimmers.

"The cause of these hotter temperatures is a result of Radiatia being located in the northern hemisphere at a time when the planet's orbit and the tilt of the axis means that the northern hemisphere is tilted closer to the sun," Said weather expert Dr. Abe Svajone. "What? What were you expecting me to say? It's summer, it's gets hot in summer, are you morons that short of news stories?"

Other climate experts were less glib on the subject, with Dr. Xaveria Bohme of the University of Radia warning that this heatwave, as well as the record cold winter experienced six months ago, are both symptomatic of climate change affecting Radiatia.

"There's this dangerous and ignorant myth going around that climate change is somehow good for Radiatia and it'll mean we get milder winters." She said. "It's the opposite - climate change means summers will keep getting hotter, winters will keep getting colder and more and more people are going to die as a result of extreme weather."

Dr. Bohme went on the warn that the bigger risk for Radiatia comes from changing rainfall patterns.

While Exegrad recently saw its highest ever recorded rainfall in the spring - enough for scientists to reclassify the city from an arid Steppe climate (Koppen BSk) to a dry summer continental climate (Koppen Dsa), Bohme noted that in other parts of the country formerly arable land was succumbing to desertification.

"We're seeing in states like Xegfause, Ziigrut and New Vashura - states that were generally dry in summer, but arable and wet in other times of year are now just becoming part of the Great Radiatian Desert, which is expanding north. We're seeing evidence of the desert now stretching as far north as Vatfer. This could be devastating to agriculture, devastating to local economies and lead to widespread food shortages - oh and forget about easy access to water. If you think it's expensive now, try again in 30 years!"

Dr. Bohme's claims were subsequently rubbished in press releases by several Radiatian corporations, with Radiatian Petroleum releasing a tongue in cheek advert that "Fossil fuels have never been hotter!", while Wally's Extra Wet Water Company said that the heatwave was leading to 'record profits' as Radiatians scramble to stock up on bottled water, lest they be forced to drink tap water.

The Federal Weather Office has advised all Radiatians to "keep well hydrated, drink plenty of fluids, stay in air-conditioning where possible and in most parts of the country try to avoid tap water unless absolutely necessary."

- RPNN

In Other News:

Trenta II is a box office hit, despite terrible reviews
Boxer hit by other boxer in boxing match
Homeless man hits another homeless man, steals cardboard box

by **Radiatia** » Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:05 pm

EXEGRAD GOES BLUE:
LIBERAL-CONSERVATIVE PARTY RECLAIMS CONTROL OF RADIATIA'S BIGGEST CITY

October 14th 4066NC Last updated 12:20 Exegrad Standard Time

EXEGRAD, ALAYENIA
Radiatia's largest city now has a new mayor, after the Liberal-Conservative Party's Jeremy Jager was confirmed to have ousted SDU incumbent Leonard Heinrichs.

_{39 year old Jeremy Jager has been elected the new Mayor of Exegrad}

"Exegrad is a greatest city in Noctur, and now are going to make sure it's the most efficient city in Noctur!" Said the 39 year old Mayor-elect before an adoring crowd of Liberal-Conservatives in Draco Zerra Square, whose chants of "Exegrad is Free!" could be heard across the city.

Jeremy Jager will enter history books as the youngest mayor ever elected in Exegrad, taking the reins of a city of 14 million people from four term Social Democratic mayor Leonard Heinrichs, whose approval ratings had been floundering with Exegraders blaming him for a scandal involving a train on the Exegrad Underground arriving over 29 seconds behind schedule.

"I wish Mr. Jager every success in his new role," Said Mayor Heinrichs in his concession speech. "It has been the greatest honour of my life to be Mayor of this city and I'm proud of what I have achieved. Corruption in City Hall is now minimal, we have dismantled the last relics of the communist era in the form of the mass surveillance system and I am particularly proud of how multicultural we have become, with people flocking from all corners of the world to make it in the Free City."

Jeremy Jager was swept to power by forming a voting coalition consisting of young, environmentally aware voters, immigrants and businesses.

By his own admission his platform was "unusual, especially for a Liberal-Conservative" and he initially garnered some controversy by describing his political views as having been influenced by former President Gregori Fyoderov.

"I did admire President Fyoderov, in terms of his politics not him as a person," He said during a recent debate. "President Fyoderov was the first President to admit that we have a serious environmental crisis on our hands, and the government needs to work with business to find the solutions. And that's what I'm all about - I want Exegrad to continue to be the most business friendly city in Noctur, but I also want it to be one of the cleanest."

Jager has made some very lofty campaign pledges, including "A train system that is on time, every time", a plan to plant trees on streets and protect the city's parks and an ambitious plan to make Exegrad tap water "safe to drink".

"Other large cities in other parts of the world have water that can be drunk straight from the tap. There is no reason why this can't happen in Exegrad."

The Mayor has pledged to work with the neighbouring prefectures in the Greater Exegrad Metropolitan Area to clean up the Exer River.

The charismatic 39 year old has been touted by some political observers as a potential future Presidential candidate, with President Steven McCarthy's approval ratings falling but the Liberal-Conservative Party seemingly unable to find the talent to take him on.

"He's young, he's charming, he's VERY modern - he might be just the man the LCP need to unseat President McCarthy." Said political analyst Dr. Boris Kahler in an impromptu interview when we tracked him down and found him with his family at a Greasy Joe's in rural Saku.

"I'm not even remotely interested in running for President at this stage," Said the Major-elect. "I'm just here to clean up Exegrad and make it as efficient as it can be."

Although Exegrad has historically tended to vote blue in federal elections - being, after all, the hometown of LCP icon Soden Larssen - in local elections the SDU has kept a stranglehold on the city that the LCP have been unable to break until now.

"There's no doubt that this will be a major psychological boost for the LCP, especially as we have the mid-term elections coming up soon." Said Dr. Kahler. "Now please, stop following me around asking for my opinion on everything. We're just trying to have dinner here."

Polls suggest that the LCP are on track to take both houses of the Federal Parliament, while President Steven McCarthy's approval ratings have fallen to 43% following his administration's failure to deliver the promised and controversial Exe-Rad High Speed Rail line on time - the project has faced another year of delays.

Winning Exegrad is significant for the LCP, with Radiatia's largest city boasting a larger population than many states, and whose economic and cultural reach is such that it is considered 'the financial capital of Noctur', being one of few cities ranked as a Global Alpha ++ city.

Exegrad city proper has a population of 14 million people, but sits in the centre of the Exegrad-Yamman-Mitaro-Northbank Combined MSA, which has a combined population of over 21 million people - enough that if Exegrad were to become its own state, it would be Radiatia's fourth largest state.

- RPNN

In Other News:

President McCarthy under pressure as LCP label his administration "inefficient"
Macrohard warns customers to be aware of tech support scams. "But if you're not a customer, we don't care about you. Go nuts."
Risk of border conflict increased in Zanzes, as Arthuria mysteriously withdraws troops

by **Nui-ta** » Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:12 am

NNN - Nui-tan News Network

KARASIAN CUP NC 4066 ---- ALINIA WINS!

Alin, ALINIA --- 01:25 NST / 00:25 NZT, (October 30th, A.N 142)
NC 4066

Team Alinia celebrates their first Karasian Cup victory.

Viva Alinia!

The third year of the Karasian Cup will go down in history as having had one of the most stunning victories in football history, with Alinia Independent taking the Cup home to Nui-ta after securing a 5-4 victory in their second game against rival team Unare, of Hadin.

The victory comes as welcome redemption from the team's abysmal performance in the NC 4065 cup. The triumph in tonight's came was the capstone for a year-long uphill battle for redemption after Alinia was sent home at the end of Match Day 6. One year later, again in Group D for NC 4066, Alinia managed to rise to the top of the charts and make it into the elimination bracket. From there, victory after victory ultimately led them to face off in the final against Hadin's top-ranked team of Unare United.

Returning from playing in Hadin during the qualifers, Alinia got to return to their home state to play during the elimination rounds. A 2-0 win in the semifinals against another domestic rival, New Zanzes, led to Alinia going into the finals against Unare, which had come fresh off of a victory against the South Zanzea team of Barewadmi. Alinia was lucky enough to win the coin toss determining whether they'd play Unare at home or away.

A roller coaster of emotions spilled out in the two games that secured Alinia's victory, including some outrageously desperate plays on the part of both teams, at least one injury, two red cards, and of course, the last minute goal that brought the match out of a tie and dashed Hadin's hopes for a third and final game.

It was a hell of a redemption story, and one whose last and final arc brought all of Nui-ta together to witness the stunning close. Even Sangaur fans were able to put their rivalry aside for a few nights and cheer Alinia on with the rest of the country.

You can't help but feel a bit bad for Hadinian football fans, who were just one goal away from being able to secure their second victory in a row after last year's underdog, Kopur State, pinned down one narrow victory after another. You feel even worse for Unare's fanbase when you remember that they were the Hadinian front-runners last year too, until they were cut out of the semi-finals by Kopur in a shocking turn of events.

Still, it's surprising (and refreshing) to see sportsmanship at its finest in the aftermath of Karasian Cup 4066. Visiting Hadinian fan-bases in Alinia displayed none of the football hooliganism that is so common at the end of other matches. In several pubs across Alinia, those delgations could even be seen having drinks with the local populace and singing old folk songs that highlight the shared history of Alinia and mainland Hadin, despite their differences today.

On the playing field too, in the aftermath of the game, Unare's leading offensive man, Tristian Colberti, broke protocol by personally handing off the cup to Alinia. Via the Karasian Cup's main account (since Hadin has no official use of CONFERO), Colberti and several other teammates issued a short statement that they had enjoyed their time in Alinia and hoped to return for a rematch.

With the Karasian Cup now won for NC 4066, Alinia gets some bragging rights before the season opens up for NC 4067. There will of course be added pressure as NC 4067 rolls around. In the short history of the cup, no winning team has yet managed to defend their title in the next year.

Alinia did make history today, though. Who is to say they can't do it next year?

BREAKING: HADINIAN AUTHORITIES ON HIGH ALERT FOLLOWING BOMB SCARE IN UNARE

Kastabal Police Commissioner Shelton Tracy Speaks At A Press Conference Regarding the Bomb Scare At Kastabal Stadium

Tensions were high in the world of Karasian football tonight, and not merely because of Alinia winning the NC 4066 title.

The match between Unare and Alinia was so close that Hadinian authorities were already preparing for the tie-breaking game (which would have been in Hadin, if not for the last minute season-ending goal scored by Alinia).

Karasian Cup officials and Hadinian law enforcement were therefore quite alarmed to find caches of explosives in several locations around the stadium.

"Thankfully the explosives were found by Karasian Cup inspection authorities during a preparative inspection of Kastabal stadium in Unare, and their disposal was efficiently done by the prompt response of Hadinian law enforcement agencies," said Karasian Cup spokesman Arnold Dagorachov.

In a press conference regarding the finding of bombs in Kastabal stadium, Kastabal police commmisioner Shelton Tracy was quite blunt: "By the grace of Septima, it might have been a good thing that Hadin didn't get that third match".

No group has taken official responsibility for the explosives being planted there, although Hadinian law enforcment also stated that North Zanzean involvement is suspected.

"There's no certainty yet, but based off of initial clues and tie-ins from other investigations regarding Hadinian involvement in Zanzes, there is at least one prime suspect whom we are now looking to arrest for questioning".

Posts · by **Yohannes** » Tue Oct 29, 2019 6:10 pm

Subscribe now to Parliamentary Publications and receive Monetary Policy Committee issues direct to your inbox.

A window into the present—30 October 2019

The rain has stopped beyond the International Incidents, and the Nineteen Countries can close its umbrella at last. The Monetary Policy Committee is expecting less threats to the nation’s prosperity and stability, as the two-power standard policy of the Commonwealth Navy slowly allows for the imposition of a “Yohannesian Peace” on the nation’s maritime trade routes. With the exception of one brilliantly documented war in a well-known region, conflicts and crises have been restricted to the proverbial geopolitical spheres of peripheral countries, and should rightfully be ignored due to their irrelevance to Yohannesian commerce, industry and investment abroad.

Calm before the storm—Cash Rate steady at 215 basis points

With trade and investment slowly gaining momentum, the Imperial Cash Rate (ICR) has been left untouched at 215 basis points. However, the outlook for settlement cash has become slightly less rosy for the year ending June 2020, standing at 16.6 per cent of gross domestic product (GDP) and 1.19 million transactions. The Governor and Company of the Bank said: “Trade and capital flows continue to grow, but at a slightly lower level than expected.” As written in Parliament’s June Fiscal Quarter report last year, alongside nominal and real long-run interest and exchange rates—ceteris paribus—the Monetary Policy Committee has seen clear signs of moderate activity and a temporary rebalancing of real short-term interest rate movement, to meet the government’s Retail Prices Index (RPI) inflation target of staying below four per cent until March 2020 quarter.

So far so good—World Assembly Resolution At Vote

Yet another brilliantly written Resolution At Vote proposed by Imperium Anglorum’s World Assembly (WA) delegation, the passing of the harmless “Financial And Economic Education” will not have a negative impact on Yohannes’ net foreign asset position and long-run holdings.

Leave no stone unturned—Alpeia, Buda and Mambenga

In recent months, there have been more developments on the horizon in the wake of the government’s bilateral agreements with three countries—two WA member states and one non-member country.

The Bank of Yohannes is going ahead with its plan to create 43,000 jobs over the next five years in Alpeia’s thriving Paris region. Since 2014, the bank has spent $14 billion on new technology for its joint venture in Alpes, the Alpeian and Yohannesian Bank Limited (AYB). Besides the Bank of Yohannes, other Yohannesian multinational banks have also invested roughly $3 billion in Alpeian construction companies responsible for large public works, such as power stations, dams, roads and railways. Is the risk worth taking?

More than 1,000 freighter ships coming from Yohannes’ 70 new trading partner countries have entered the Royal Port of Alexandria “since Q3 2017/18.” Known for its competitive industrial minerals exporters, the People’s Revolutionary Republic of Mambenga is one such country. But the Royal Port of Alexandria has failed to meet the challenges associated with business expansion—for instance, without more funding from Parliament next year, it could not meet the strict requirements of Mambenga’s logistics and freight forwarding regulatory bodies. Looking ahead, foreign imports of industrial minerals through the port are forecast to increase by an annual average of 4.7 per cent. The Ambassador of Yohannes to Mambenga has urged Parliament to support Alexandrian and Mambengan shippers. Will she succeed in her mission?

On a last note, the Nineteen Countries’ business community welcomes the arrival of the Ambassadors of Buda and Pooshland to Yohannes in Parliament House; the Bank of Yohannes looks forward to taking care of its latest wealth management and institutional client in the Federal Republic of Astoria, Mr Kamrusar Vatalg; and the Queen of Burmecia reports on the reawakening of the Freekish Empire in Gholgoth in a heated International Diplomacy and Advisory Committee hearing.

by **Radiatia** » Sat Dec 14, 2019 1:48 am

MID-TERM ELECTIONS:
- LIBERAL-CONSERVATIVE PARTY TAKES THE SENATE
- SDU RETAINS RAZOR-THIN MAJORITY IN FEDERAL ASSEMBLY

December 14th 4066 Last updated 20:51 Exegrad Standard Time

The Liberal-Conservative Party has dealt a major blow to Steven McCarthy's Presidency, taking control of the Senate and making significant gains in the Federal Assembly.

Senate: 51 Liberal-Conservatives 39 Social Democrats
Federal Assembly: 237 Social Democrats 234 Liberal-Conservatives

The LCP gained 11 seats in the Senate, most notably sweeping the northern states which had gone purple (and in rare cases red) during the Autenberg Administration but which now appear to have reverted back to being safe blue states.

Meanwhile in the lower house, the LCP gained a whopping 69 seats, bringing it within three seats of taking control of both houses of Parliament - something which could have been absolutely devastating to the McCarthy Administration.

Senate Map:
Blue = 2 Liberal-Conservatives
Purple = 1 Liberal-Conservative, 1 Social Democrat
Red = 2 Social Democrats

The poll marks the first time in 16 years that the LCP have had a clear majority in the Senate. Aside from a brief two year period in which the Senate was split 50/50 and then Vice President Angela Pavlovic had a tie-breaking vote, the Senate has been dominated by the SDU almost continuously since the Silviu Administration.

While polls had suggested that a Liberal-Conservative victory was likely, Social Democrats had been hoping for a repeat of the 4062 mid-term elections in which their party defied the polls to make unexpected gains in the legislature.

The election results coincide with falling approval ratings for President Steven McCarthy - who recently posted only a 40% approval (and 60% disapproval) rating, a result suggesting he is the least popular incumbent President since Keldon Silviu - a massive fall from grace for the man who swept the country in a landslide just two years ago.

McCarthy's opponents ran a campaign accusing his administration, and the wider Social Democratic Union, of that most cardinal of sins in Radiatia: Inefficiency. It was a message that resounded with millions of voters.

"In 4064, Steven McCarthy promised Radiatians better infrastructure, better education, better healthcare and higher pay for the working classes. He has delivered nothing." Said Senator Kirill Schulthaus [LCP - Alayenia], the man who is due to become the new Senate Majority leader. "He had a huge mandate from the people, and no excuses not to deliver on his promises. I have never seen such a disorganised and inefficient administration."

Indeed one of the focal points of anger at the McCarthy administration is the failed "Exe-Rad" high speed rail project, designed to link Exegrad and Radii.

"Steven McCarthy smiled and waved when we completed the world's longest rail tunnel, but it's been two years now and the project is now further away from completion than it was back then, and it's gone massively over budget." Said Senator Schulthaus to the RPNN.

Liberal-Conservatives claim this is not the only area where the McCarthy administration has failed - a planned infrastructure project to upgrade the interstate highway system, particular in the north, "appears to have been all but abandoned".

Opponents, including some on the left, have also pointed out that under the McCarthy administration income inequality has increased for the first time since the Autenberg Administration, while wages have plateaued despite a rise in living costs.

Social Democratic Senator Fredrika Farber [SDU - Narus] was also critical of the direction her party took, as well as its focus in the campaign.

"The Administration wants to raise federal income tax to 17%. I'm not saying I don't agree with the policy, but we never explained why. We never focused on the things we achieved and the things we wanted to achieve. It feels like we've forgotten what we stand for."

While the LCP have criticised the McCarthy Administration for inefficiency and a failure to deliver promises, many commentators are wondering whether the LCP's gains in the Senate might spell a death-knell for many of the administration's future plans.

"It all depends on how they want to play it," Said Dr. Boris Kahler. "They might try to block everything, cripple McCarthy and hope to get a Liberal-Conservative President in two years as a result but if they do that they run the risk of giving the President ammunition against them.

"On the other hand, if they show that they can run a sleek, efficient government and gets things happening on time and under budget - it'll give any Liberal-Conservative nominee a hell of a strong platform to run in two years."

Dr. Kahler believes that the chances of these results leading to a future government shutdown are "low to zero".

"If the LCP had gained both houses, it would be a different story, but the Senate doesn't have a lot of power to stop the budget, and with the Federal Assembly narrowly in SDU hands, most of the President's agenda could remain intact, just watered down."

In a statement, President Steven McCarthy said that he would "reflect carefully on the results of this election".

"These results suggest that Radiatians are broadly supportive of our agenda, but there is dissatisfaction at the lack of speed and progress and a sense that we need a proverbial kick up the backside.

"I accept that criticism. I look forward to working with the new Parliament, and with the Liberal-Conservatives in the Senate. I am certain that we can work across the aisle to achieve the kind of efficient government that Radiatians expect."

Turnout in this election was low, primarily due to freezing temperatures throughout much of the country with one report even suggesting that an online poll on CONFERO by a supermodel asking which colour dress she should buy had a higher turnout.

- RPNN

Due to the unusually high volume of comments, we have not been able to publish everything. Please bear with us.

In Other News:

Mus Hogs win Radiatian Rugby Union cup, after defeating Alayenia Scorpions 21-17
Economic growth slows to 1%
Exegraders freeze after temperatures drop to -24 degrees Celsius overnight.

by **Radiatia** » Sat Feb 01, 2020 9:30 pm

WE PUT THE "NEWS" IN "FAKE NEWS"!

GOD SPOTTED BY SPACE TELESCOPE!
RADIATIAN SPACE AGENCY PROVES EXISTENCE OF GOD!

By Euphemia Fuhrmann on February 2nd 4067

VYORA, XEGFAUSE ---- Scientists at the Radiatian Space Agency believe they have found "irrefutable proof of the existence of God" after He was spotted by a space telescope.

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Ester Toivonen is hot!

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Man's dog grows so large
that it now lives on the moon
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God is up there - but only He knows what he's doing!

It was an ordinary day at the Soden T. Larssen Space Centre near Vyora, Xegfause and the scientist on duty, Barret Fishman, had no idea he was about to make a discovery that would bring to an end centuries of debate over the existence of God.

"I was just doing my normal daily routines - monitoring the Space Telescope for signs of meteors, aliens and occasionally using it to watch girls on earth get undressed with their windows open when suddenly I spotted Him." He said. "I immediately fell to my knees and asked forgiveness for my browser history and all the times I'd used the Space Telescope to perv on people.

"He didn't answer, but famously He never answers prayers so I shined a laser in his direction and tried to spell that out with it using Morse code. He gave me a thumbs up."

Fishman said he knew the man he spotted was God because "Well who the hell else would it be?"

God was described as looking "a bit like a hippy" with a long unkempt beard and dressed in robes and sandals. He was sitting on a cloud ("which might have been marijuana smoke") and was described as someone "who looked like he was probably quite creative, but also quite judgemental."

Other scientists at the Soden T. Larssen Space Centre corroborated the sighting, with one adding that God "looked a bit annoyed at us staring at him so he hopped into his Combi and drove off into another part of outer space."

Following the revelation that God was indeed real, the scientists then got to work trying to work out which of the over 3000 deities it was (and therefore who was the One True God.)

"It devolved into chaos pretty quickly," Said one scientist who wished to remain anonymous. "One scientist tried to blow himself up, one tried to burn another as a witch, several launched a Crusade and haven't been heard from since and one scientist got nailed to a piece of wood after telling everyone else to forgive each other and treat others how they'd like to be treated. All in all - not the best day's work I've ever done."

Bernard Eberhardt, of the Radiatian Sceptics Society (Formerly known as the Society of Radiatian Septic Tank Enthusiasts), took a different view to the 'discovery' of God.

"There is absolutely no evidence, other than some slightly questionable testimony, that they really saw God up there," He said. "In fact, I don't believe these scientists even exist. Or the Space Telescope - I've never seen a bloody Space Telescope, but they insist it's up there.

"Come to think of it, I don't even believe you exist! Who am I even talking to?" He added after closing his eyes and putting his fingers in his ears.

Whatever the truth of the situation and whether you believe it or doubt, the reaction from everyone seems to be the same:

"Oh, God!"

© 4067 The Daily Tabloid

COMMENTS (107)

Sort by: Date Rating Last Activity

Kevin - 3 hours ago

+2

I don't know if God exists but I know that Satin does because I just bought some curtains off him last weekend

Genitalman - 2 hours ago

0

Thanks

Laundrette - 1 hour ago

-5

DO NOT BE DECEIVED - THE ONE TRUE GOD IS NAMED PETER AND HE DEMANDS THAT YOU WORSHIP FALSE GODS AND COMMIT ADULTURY EVERY DAY HE SPOKE IN MY DREAMS IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME THEN PLEASE COME TO MY WEBSITE AND GIVE ME MONEY

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by **Radiatia** » Tue Mar 03, 2020 1:35 am

LIFE IN RADIATIA'S COLDEST CITY

March 1st 4067NC Last updated 21:53 Exegrad Standard Time

ZILFKE, KERPRUSS
With winter officially over in the Radiatian Federation, most Radiatians will be glad to soon see the end of snow, ice and subzero temperatures - but as Rudy Schwangeu discovers there's one city in the far north that makes even the coldest night in Exegrad look like a summer's day.

_{Residents bravely cross the bridge over the Zilfke river in temperatures of -50°C. The bridge also happens to also mark the border between the states of Kerpruss and Tathika, with the city straddling two states and two timezones.}

The city of Zilfke (pronounced "Zilf-keh") in eastern Kerpruss is generally considered the coldest major city in the Radiatian Federation, with an average annual temperature of -8°C. With a population of around 350,000 people, the city contains over half the population of Kerpruss (which ranks as Radiatia's second least populous state.) The Greater Zilfke area, which includes East Zilfke in the neighbouring state of Tathika has a population of just over half a million, making it one of the north's largest cities.

For clarity, Zilfke is by no means the coldest place in Radiatia (Baag in Polaris still holds the record for the coldest temperature ever recorded, and there are several towns in Kerpruss and other northern states with lower average or winter temperatures). What makes Zilfke notable is that it is the coldest Radiatian city with a metro population of 500,000 or more: This is not an isolated village, it's a thriving urban centre with (almost) all the amenities of any other Radiatian city. There's internet, electricity, fast food, heavy industry, schools, hospitals and even an underground metro system (Zilfke actually has some of the best public transport in Radiatia.)

It just happens to have all of this along with winter temperatures that average -53°C during the day.

To put that in perspective, our largest city Exegrad has just endured a particularly cold and snowy winter which has seen the Exer River freeze solid long enough for a carnival to be held there. During the day in Exegrad, when people are wrapping themselves in layers of clothes, temperatures hover around freezing point or just below. The coldest overnight temperature this winter in Exegrad was -26°C. This is still twice as warm as a warm day in winter in Zilfke.

And despite what you might assume, Zilfke is actually located below the Arctic circle. There are several similarly sized cities further north such as Kriga, Eldura and even Aizopul, Polaris which have warmer average temperatures. (Some sources may dispute the latter: Aizopul has a similar average annual temperature to Zilfke, with the main difference being that winters in Zilfke are colder than Aizopul and summers hotter, while Aizopul tends to be cold, but not extremely cold, all year round.)

According to the Koppen Climate Classification, Zilfke is in a transitional zone between being an Extreme Cold Subarctic Climate (Koppen Dfd) and an Extreme Cold Dry Winter Subarctic Climate (Koppen Dwd). The city is located far to the north, but also is very remote from any ocean, with the Northern Ocean moderating temperatures in Eldura (further north) and the Oriens Ocean doing the same for Polaris. In winter, the city is actually extremely dry, with precipitation levels similar to those in Xerconia and other desert cities. However, the extreme cold means that there is such a low evapotranspiration rate that water remains in the soil (albeit, almost permanently frozen), and trees can still grow.

When I travelled there, the question on my mind was how (and why) do residents live here?

Getting there is half the battle

I'm not actually travelling to Zilfke in the dead of winter, but rather just toward the end of official winter when daytime temperatures "warm up" to -35°C. Despite this, I'm told, it's still extremely dangerous. I'm not as likely to die of exposure in 10 minutes flat, but I still need to be careful. Temperatures in Zilfke in March resemble the January temperatures of cities like Midgard or Drachen - which means it's still bitterly cold.

_{Zilfke's location within the Radiatian Federation}

Zilfke has an airport and there are direct flights to and from Exegrad. Unfortunately for me, the airport only operates between May and September - for the rest of the year it's too cold and therefore too dangerous to land an aircraft. I'm told this is a common problem in the extreme north, and it accounts for why this part of Radiatia has always tended to lag behind in terms of development and the economy: The entire state of Kerpruss is inaccessible by air in the winter (as are most neighbouring states).

Travelling by road is no better - while the Interstate is open up here and a lot of people drive it, heavy fog and ice mean the trip is extremely treacherous by road and though I was personally willing to attempt it, the RPNN were not willing to sign off on this for health and safety reasons.

The only option left, therefore, is to take either a slow RPSU-era train from Reafantz, Gyanberk (as far north as I'm able to fly) or to take a slightly more modern but still quite slow train from Musk, Vatfer (a journey that lasts about a week). I decide to take my chances and go for the former option and I arrive in Zilfke after just over 24 hours spent on a train with nothing but white mist out the window.

When we arrive, the train (despite its age) pulls into a surprisingly modern underground station that looks not unlike a less crowded version of the TransRadiatia station underneath the Exegrad Stock Exchange. Actually, as I look around I realise that Zilfke appears to have a better functioning mass transit system than cities like Das Engel, despite them being twenty times bigger.

My local guide and friend Adriana is the first person to greet me at the station. Before she will even countenance the idea of me leaving the station, she makes sure I'm dressed appropriately according to the checklist she sent me. I'm wearing about six layers of fur (to the disgust of some of the more liberal people I know down south), special snow boots not one but two pairs of gloves (layered) and my face is almost completely covered. The last step, she says, is to take off my spectacles - she says that they'll probably last about a minute before cracking in the cold.

Once she approves, she leads me up the stairs to where a taxi is waiting.

It's -44°C when I do leave the station, and prepared as I thought I was, the bitter cold hits me like a brick. The weirdest feeling feeling tears come out of my eyes and mucus coming out of my nose, both freezing solid within seconds. I don't stop to look around - I run straight into the warmth of the waiting taxi.

Adriana laughs and tells me that -44°C is actually quite a warm day for this time of year - in January it hit -60°C for a day and "no one dared leaving the house then". The other unusual thing is that although my watch says it's 3pm (and Kerpruss is in the same time zone as Exegrad), it's dark outside already - apparently they get about four to five hours of daylight at this time of year.

I glance outside and, just as on the train, I can't see anything but white. There's snow, mist and fog. There are no pedestrians, but there are a lot of taxis - which residents will order for something as simple as a trip next door, due to not wanting to risk being outside longer than 10 minutes.

Private cars are not uncommon, but Adriana says that they need to be run 24 hours a day or else the fuel will freeze and they need to be stored in special, heated garages.

"For most people, it's not worth the effort."

Smoke and ice

Driving in this city is, as you can imagine, extremely dangerous - visibility is poor at all times, the roads are icy and despite all this there's actually a fair amount of traffic congestion, simply because it's so unsafe to walk.

Snow and mist can be seen everywhere, but there's also something else in the air here: Smoke.

It turns out that Zilfke is one of the most polluted cities in the Radiatian Federation and despite having only half a million people, produces almost as many carbon emissions as the city of Nepschu, Chongluntz.

There are a number of reasons for this - the first being that residents frequently do keep their engines running 24 hours a day, spewing exhaust fumes into the freezing atmosphere constantly. Another is the fact that, despite the cold, this is a mining and oil town - and it's these polluting industries that keep the locals in work.

But the biggest source is that there are not one but five power plants, all running from coal. The electricity needs in this city are massive, as are its heating needs - and this is a coal mining area, making it the easiest energy source they have.

There were plans once to build a nuclear power station, but the climate made building one so difficult that it has been delayed indefinitely for over 30 years.

Environmentally conscious southerners would no doubt be alarmed at the amount of air pollution in Zilfke (as to what 'clean energy' foreigners would make of it, doesn't even bear thinking about), but locals don't seem to mind and the thought of climate change isn't even in public consciousness here.

"When you could freeze to death for stepping out of your front door, you don't really have time to worry about air pollution or global warming," Says local resident Erik Forst, 49, who is a teacher at a local primary school. "The global temperature might raise 1 degree. So fucking what? That's still cold enough to kill us. And if you're worried about rising sea levels, that's what you get for living on a tropical island. Honestly, the arrogance of these people..."

Daily life and necessities

Most residents of Zilfke live in apartment blocks with suburban living considerably less popular (although still the way at least 40% of the city lives).

"You want to be in an apartment, if you can," Says Adriana. "Apartments have central heating and air conditioning. They have indoor toilets. And there's centrally heated water available."

_{A woman braves her way through Traiyan Silviu Square in the central city. Temperature: -44°C}

In Zilfke living in an apartment is the reserve of the affluent, while the not so well off must survive in the squalor of a suburban cul-de-sac: In other words, it's the dead opposite of Exegrad, where suburbs are the domain of the elite and apartments the domain of the proletariat.

One of the first things I'm surprised to learn is that, despite being a fairly modern (if cold) city, most buildings do not have running water here. The reason is that water will freeze solid in the pipes and then the pipes break.

Not that water is hard to come across - most people simply nip outside, find a block of ice on the ground and boil it when they want to drink or bathe. The other weird thing is that a refrigerator is seen as an appliance to keep food warm, not cold - for frozen foods (residents eat a lot of frozen fish from the Zilfke river, and Yak meat), they simply store it in the garden where the cold air outside will do a better job preserving it than any kitchen freezer.

The lack of running water does lead to another problem though - no indoor toilets. A trip to the outhouse (and it is the outhouse) means wrapping yourself up warm and braving the bitter cold for a few minutes while you dash to a small cubicle with a long drop (often heated with electricity) and hoping you don't start sticking to the frozen seat. Relieving yourself in Zilfke is not a pleasant or relaxing time - like so much else about life here, it's dangerous.

Fried yak, frozen fish and a nice cup of tea

Fresh fruit is absolutely unheard of in Zilfke, at least in winter. Even mega chains like Sally's Supermarkets have problems transporting fruit here, and in the rare event they can make it have no choice but to charge exorbitant prices to make up for the lack of supply. (We're talking about two Tsenyens for a single grape.) They do have vegetables, but in most shops the selection ranges from potatoes, to turnips, to slightly different potatoes and if you're truly luxurious, an onion.

Salmon and trout from the river are staple foods here, as is Yak meat. In fact, residents (like most northerners) eat a lot of meat (sometimes nothing but meat) and drink a lot of vodka. To locals, vegetarianism is akin to cutting your arm off. Veganism would be suicide.

The other unusual thing about food here is their predilection for hot drinks: Having to boil all their water from ice found outside means that bottled water and soda is out (that's not to say you can't buy bottled water or a can of Cornuocopia High Fructose Corn Syrup drink) but residents here are fond of foreign drinks like tea and even coffee, with fine Arthurian and Nui-tan teas selling almost as much as the aforementioned soda brand. Soup is also not just part of, but often is every meal of the day.

But there's one local recipe in Zilfke that's become very famous throughout Radiatia (and other parts of Noctur): Zilfke is the home of Kerpruss Fried Yak, which has gone on to become Radiatia's second most popular fast food brand and the biggest competitor to the all-powerful Greasy Joe's.

As popular as the chain is nationwide, here it's a recipe born almost out of necessity made from ingredients that are accessible all year round. (By contrast, Greasy Joe's has a very limited menu in winter, while pizza and Nui-tan restaurants are either closed in winter, or only serving strange dishes like a 'Yak 'N Turnips' pizza.) On the bright side: Fans of Yakkum will be delighted to know it's readily available here at all times of year and they have some special recipes for it too (like "Yakkum soup".)

While food snobs in Das Engel would vomit at the thought, here it's not uncommon to eat Kerpruss Fried Yak for every meal - because in the harsher winters the choice between starvation or potential obesity clearly favours one over the other.

A Bridge in Time

While it's difficult to keep track of time in a city where the sun sometimes sets at 2pm (and in summer doesn't set until after midnight), just to add to my confusion I discover the East Zilfke is in a different time zone to the rest of the city.

Because the city straddles the state borders of Kerpruss and Tathika, that means it passes over two time zones - with most of the city in Exegrad Standard Time, but the Tathika side living on Xerconia time.

I ask residents who commute from one side to the other whether they wear two watches to compensate, but I shouldn't have been surprised by the answer: No one wears watches. They freeze and break, and in the worst case scenario stick to your arm and have to be melted off.

The mayors of the two cities have both tried to get legislation passed to give Zilfke a special half-hour time zone of its own, but such calls have been repeatedly rejected by state governments. The State of Kerpruss refuse to have its largest city in a separate time zone to the state capital of Etmer, and the State of Tathika veto the proposal for fear that it would open the door to having the economically important city of East Zilfke eventually annexed by Kerpruss altogether.

The result is that a brisk 1 minute stroll over the Zilfke River Bridge actually takes an hour or functions as a time machine depending on direction.

On the bright side, citizens of East Zilfke celebrate New Years Eve twice, with it something of a local tradition for the East Zilfke to ring in the New Year, then travel over the bridge to last year to celebrate it again in an hour. (And sometimes, residents of West Zilfke who are in a rush or who have had a bad year might decide to head eastward to end the year an hour early.)

As fun as that sounds (though there are other, warmer cities where this can done further south), I'm still yet to answer the biggest question that Zilfke poses:

Why does anyone live here!?

I'm sure the local area is beautiful (I can't confirm this to be the case through the fog and smoke) but for the life of me I cannot work out why anyone would willingly live in a city so cold you could literally die on the way to the toilet.

I can understand if you were born here and know nowhere else. I can understand if you have family here. I can even understand if you're someone from another part of Kerpruss, facing even worse temperatures and fewer amenities, wanting to move to "the big city".

So imagine my shock when I meet Anastasia, 23, an engineering graduate from Exegrad who moved here of her own volition.

"People are so nice here!" She tells me. "I've heard that people are friendly up north but it's true - I ended up with a bigger social circle after six months here than I did after 20 years in Exegrad. And people here are genuine, honest. They're not after sex or money, they really value you."

She admits that the climate "took a lot of getting used to" but once she survived her first winter "I realised I never wanted to go back to Exegrad."

She was lured here by the offer of a reasonably high-paying job overseeing parts of the city's extremely important electricity grid.

"I'm on six figures," She says. "Which in Exegrad would buy you, what? A cupboard in the middle of the city, where you listen to screaming and gunshots while you try to sleep? Here... okay, there's no running water but I have a very big house and a slab of land... I even have my own yaks."

She also said that despite the north's reputation for conservatism and backwards thinking, she said that she found social attitudes in Zilfke much more progressive than in the south.

"In Alayenia, and other southern states, they play lip-service to gender equality and they virtue signal, but it doesn't really exist." She says. "In my first job in Exegrad after graduating with some very high grades the best job I could get was basically to be the girl who executives pinch the ass of, with some empty promises of promotion if I sleep with the right creep. But here? They hired me right away in a position in the field I studied for, in a managerial role and treat me with respect."

Public safety

Local police chief Wayne Eckart has a similar story to tell regarding the contrast between Zilfke and the south.

"We have us here the lowest per capita crime rate in the whole dang Radiatian Federation." He says proudly. "Worst crime story here in the last five years involved someone stealin' a yak from their neighbour.

"People don't much feel like committin' crimes 'round these parts when you could freeze yer ass off - literally - in 5 minutes outside."

As impressive as that is, I note that Zilfke has other dangers - the climate being the main one. But there's icy roads, low visibility on the streets - surely traffic crime must be a problem?

"Ayup, had a lot o' cases o' people forgettin' to pay their bus fare but we don't go too hard on people. As long as you don't speed you're fine - crashes happen but people keep it slow enough not to do damage."

The conversation then turns to Eckart more or less interviewing me. It turns out that his only sojourn to the south was a trip to Exegrad when he was 18 (which he hated: "It was too hot and there are too many people.")

While I'm fascinated by how and why locals live here, it seems he can't understand how I'm able to live in Exegrad.

"So yer tellin' me that you ain't even got a back yard? I live in an apartment too, but I can fit my whole family in mine - you're saying yours is half the size of this room?"

Eckart also seems perplexed that I would consider Zilfke more dangerous than Exegrad.

"Sure it gets a bit nippy in them there winters, but you folk have murderers, fights, terrorists, explosions, gunshots... I suppose you probably stay indoors all the time too?"

"Think winter is bad? Try summer!"

My trip to Zilfke has been full of surprises, but the biggest one has been in the form of a comment that almost every single person here has made when we bring up the subject of the climate:

"You want to talk about bad weather? Come back in summer!" Said one lady.

_{Hot humid weather and insect swarms mean that residents here
actually prefer winter to summer}

"Winter is nothing here. It's summer that we all hate. Winter's quite lovely." Said another.

At first I assumed it was a reference to summer being cold and miserable - I know that in parts of Polaris and even northern Drachensgard it sometimes snows in summer and I assumed that was the case here.

Nope - it turns out that Zilfke gets pretty hot in the summer. Apparently days over 30°C, even 35°C are not uncommon in the summer which gives Zilfke one of the biggest yearly temperature ranges in the world (A range of over 130 degrees difference between summer and winter).

Locals hate it.

"It's oppressively humid, and because there's no ice around you have to buy water - which you want to drink all the time because it's so hot," Explains Marcelyn, 62, who has lived in Zilfke all her life. "And our buildings are designed to keep heat in. You need air-conditioning too because otherwise you'll faint from the heat indoors."

Other residents warn that the city (especially near the river) swarms with mosquitoes and black flies too.

"Anything that can suck blood, you'll find it," Says 16 year old Ridley, who also told me how he loves walking to high school in -50°C winters. "In summer this place turns into Rango Mango or Zanzes - it's like living in a terrible tropical rain forest filled with horrible insects. I'm surprised no one catches malaria."

And while winters are fairly dry in Zilfke, summer is when the rain pours down - turning vital roads to mud, while other roads (such as the interstate) are tended by 24 hour roadworks due to it being the only time of year it can happen.

"I don't understand why people in the south love summer. I don't understand these images of people bathing in sunshine," Says Marcelyn. "Here it's either pouring with rain or if the sun is out you don't want to expose your skin or you'll be eaten alive by the blackflies.

"I'd rather spend the whole year in a -50°C winter than have to endure another day of our summer. I'm already dreading it."

- RPNN Travel

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Rudy Schwangeu is usually a journalist specialising in crime stories, but after realising that he could charge his holidays to the company if he was clever enough, he became a travel journalist. Zilfke was not on his original list of favoured travels destinations when he agreed to take the job.

by **Radiatia** » Mon May 11, 2020 8:31 pm

BRINGING YOU THE STORIES OTHERS WON'T, NO MATTER HOW UNTRUE!

GHOST GETS JOB IN RURAL TAVERN!
THE INN WHERE SPIRITS ARE SERVED BY A SPIRIT!

By Stella McNeil on May 12th 4067

LEKROTTA, ASGARD ---- A haunted hotel in rural Asgard has gained attention after deciding to hire a local ghost to serve drinks to paying customers.

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WEIRD BUT TRUE!

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This extremely spooky ghost is known to haunt the village of Lekrotta, Asgard. It goes by the name "Dave".

While most Radiatians dismiss the existence of ghosts out of hand, for residents of the small village of Lekrotta, Asgard dealing with the lost souls of those forced to walk the earth after death is just another normal day.

"Yeah sure, everyone knows Dave," Says local resident Katsu Tolkien. "The first time I met him was kind of embarrassing. I was making love to my wife when he decided to phase through the wall. Or was it that he opened the door? Oh no that's right, I was in a carpark and he was standing there trying to get into his car. Hilarious times."

Dave has reportedly been haunting the local pub "for at least 30 years" and is said to be the spirit of a man who "was unable to pay his bar tab and then died while trying to dress up as a ghost in order to avoid paying his bar tab."

The pub owner, Cletus Henderson, said that Dave always appears at happy hour, always appears in the same seat and always moans and groans "with the groaning getting louder the more he has to drink".

"To be honest, he knows the place better than I do, which is why I decided to hire him." Said Henderson. "Sometimes I have to go home to see my wife and kids. But Dave... Dave is always here."

The prospect of being greeted by a ghost has also had two effects - not only have any troublemakers been deterred from causing trouble, Dave has become something of a tourist magnet.

"We get heaps of tourists now... sometimes we see anything up to one... maybe two people, every ten years!"

But for all Dave's fans, he hasn't been without his detractors.

"It's obviously a man having a nervous breakdown and wearing a sheet," Said local fun ruiner Maryanna Merill. "You can tell he's not a ghost because I've never heard of a ghost who needs to have its sheets regularly laundered."

Others have pointed their fingers at the pub for its "discriminatory" hiring policy.

"Dave isn't the only undead being in that pub. Every night I see zombies filing out, and I know for a fact none of them got the chance to work there." Said someone whose name I couldn't be bothered making up I mean remembering.

But whatever the case, one thing is for sure: For everyone who considers the local tavern to be their local haunt, there's already someone else haunting the place!

© 4067 The Daily Tabloid

COMMENTS (1)

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Brian Silviu - 3 hours ago

+10

I never used to believe in ghosts, but after reading this I'm convinced. I mean... you have photographic evidence, right there! Can't dispute that.

This is what sets you guys apart from other tabloids - you back up your claims with pictures, and that's why you are Radiatia's premier journalists.

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While The Daily Tabloid strives for accuracy in all our articles, on occasion our journalists do make mistakes. Therefore we take no responsibility for the quality or accuracy of our articles.

by **Radiatia** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 4:04 am

FORMER PRESIDENT YERKAL NATHUS DIES AGED 90

June 7th 4067NC Last updated 21:43 Exegrad Standard Time

TWINLAKE, SAKU
Yerkal Nathus, the 3rd President of the Radiatian Federation, has died at his home in Twinlake, Saku at the age of 90.

_{Former President Yerkal Nathus has died}

Nathus served as President from 4031NC to 4040NC and then later served as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court from 4042 to 4048, the only President to have gone on to serve in that role after office.

His health had been "slowly fading" over recent years, with the former President's last public appearance being in 4063 when he accompanied then-President Jaagen Autenberg to Nui-ta to 'reboot' the Nui-Ra alliance. He was notably absent from the inauguration of President Steven McCarthy in 4064 due to his ailing health.

According to the family, Nathus suffered a "sudden and major" stroke on Friday night and was rushed to hospital, but died on Saturday morning. His husband, Teodor Lacy, died in 4065 and Nathus is survived by his adopted son Daniel Nathus-Lacy, along with three grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

"It is with deep and profound sadness that I announce the death of President Yerkal Nathus, lawyer, scientist, university professor, former Premier of Polaris, former Chief Justice, 3rd President of the Radiatian Federation, beloved husband, father, grandfasther and great-grandfather," Said Nathus-Lacy in a formal statement to media. "He was a man of great intellect and highest character and a great Radiatian patriot."

President Steven McCarthy has ordered all flags across the Radiatian Federation, and at Radiatian embassies and military bases abroad, to be lowered to half-mast. He has also declared "a national day of mourning". It is believed that arrangements are currently being made for a full state funeral in Xerconia, though neither the Nathus family nor the McCarthy Administration said that they were in a position to comment.

"Yerkal Nathus was a Radiatian like no other, who used to the full depth and breadth of his talents and intellect in service to his fellow countrymen," Said President McCarthy in a brief speech from his office, posted on CONFERO. "The Radiatian Federation, in its current form, simply could not exist or have existed without him. History will remember him as one of the greats and as a founding father to whom we all owe an eternal debt of gratitude."

Who was Yerkal Nathus?

Yerkal Nathus was born in Aizopul, Polaris on October 7th 3977NC. He first came to nation prominence in 3990 at the age of 13 when he came top of a nationwide standardised test in schools despite having had little formal education, due to the lack of educational opportunities available in Polaris at the time.

A child prodigy, he completed his first university degree in Saku before he was 18 and spent his early career working as a scientist before retraining as a lawyer and returning home to Polaris. During this time he met Teodor Lacy and later married him. While Nathus's open homosexuality was, and is, considered unremarkable in Radiatia this would later in life prove contentious abroad.

Following the fall of communism, Nathus ran for local government and eventually became the second Premier of Polaris in 4024. At the time he described himself as "socially and economically liberal" and was a harsh critic of communism.

His anti-communist stance, coupled with his stable and moderate persona would lead to him winning favour with President Derro Vahnsehn and in 4031 Vahnsehn would shock the nation by resigning and naming Nathus as his successor, triggering a constitutional crisis in the process.

What did he achieve?

The Presidency of Yerkal Nathus coincided with a time of major growth and change for the Radiatian Federation. He was the first President from a far northern state and at the time the youngest President.

At the beginning of his Presidency, Radiatia was a fledgling democracy, isolated, a pariah state on the verge of backsliding to dictatorship. By the end, Radiatia was a rising superpower, a stable and prosperous democracy and the lynchpin of Free Noctur.

Nathus was President during the Toriah and Larssen Administrations, at a time when the President was more of a ceremonial role while day-to-day decisions were made by the Prime Minister.

In spite of this, Nathus was instrumental in solidifying the constitution (and drafting the second constitution), stabilising the Parliamentary system and perhaps most importantly, establishing new and important relationships with the rest of the world.

Foreign policy was extremely important to Nathus, who spent much of his Presidency establishing relations with nations in Terra Oriens following the end of the Tuthinan blockade, as well as repairing relationships that had been damaged in Terra Occidens during the bellicose Derro Vahnsehn years.

His two largest and most important achievements came in 4034, when he signed what would later become the Nui-Ra alliance. Later that year he would be put to the test as Commander-in-Chief when deploying Radiatian troops during the Hadinian War - the first major test of the new alliance.

"I am not declaring war, I am declaring peace. Enforced peace." He said famously during a televised address on the eve of Radiatia joining the war. It would be won a few months later, with Radiatian involvement proving decisive.

An icon abroad

While to Radiatians the 30s and 40s are best remembered as the Toriah and Larssen years, in the rest of the world it's Yerkal Nathus who is more famous than his Prime Ministers.

He was (and remains) well-known particularly in Nui-ta, where his penchant for purple suits became something of a fashion trend and his celebrity led to a bizarre cult of personality in that nation involving Yerkal Nathus-themed lollypops, clothing and dolls. (Emperor Rowan di-Amori, as a young child, was famously recorded addressing Nathus as "the funny purple man".)

Nathus forged important personal friendships with foreign leaders, notably with the late Vincentius di-Amori III of Nuita and Urias Gregariin of Aazeronia.

Nathus's open homosexuality was subject to controversy in less developed nations, where he faced threats and discrimination due to his sexual orientation. This resulted in Nathus often taking a hardline against nations who discriminated against homosexuals - refusing trade and sometimes threatening military intevention.

Though in some countries he was condemned, he was just as often congratulated and remains an LGBT icon both in Radiatia and abroad.

As Chief Justice

Nathus was succeeded as President in 4040 by Hiroshi Vodotel, at a time when Radiatia was changing yet again - this time from a Parliamentary system to a full Presidential system.

Vodotel, recognising that Nathus's intellect (especially in the field of law) could still be put to use, appointed him to the Supreme Court and in 4042 Nathus became Chief Justice and therefore the only Radiatian to serve as both head of the Executive branch and head of the Judicial branch.

After the death of Soden Larssen, Nathus oversaw the formation of the constitutional convention which led to the creation of the third (and current) iteration of the constitution and Radiatia's transition to a Presidential system with full separation of powers.

Nathus, who came to power at a time when Radiatian democracy was on the verge of being snuffed out, was determined that the new constitution would ensure that the abuses of power that characterised the Vahnsehn Administration would never again be repeated - and that there should be clear lines drawn between the Legislative, Executive and Judicial branches of government.

This would prove decisive in stabilising Radiatian democracy and expanding civil and political freedoms. As Chief Justice, Nathus was responsible for an extremely important ruling (Xika Games vs the State of Vatfer) which guaranteed freedom of speech and expression with no exceptions and declared government censorship (outside of national security) unconstitutional.

He was also responsible for (in his view, "accidentally") legalising polygamy nationwide after ruling in Bozlov vs the State of Amentra when he ruled that states must recognise all marriages made in other states as being legally binding. Nathus called upon the federal government to enact legislation defining marriage, but thus far no such legislation has ever been passed.

He was also responsible for ruling, in Silviu vs Pavlovic that the President, and not Parliament, had ultimate responsibility for setting the nation's foreign policy with the exception of declarations of war. It was believed at the time that this ruling was influenced by the importance that foreign policy had on Nathus's own Presidential administration.

How will he be remembered?

With news yet to reach foreign shores, it's unclear as to how foreign leaders will react to the death of such an important early President, however within Radiatia tributes have poured in, particularly from other former leaders.

Former Prime Minister Lena Toriah, in a rare public statement, said that Yerkal Nathus was "a great friend" and "a towering figure of stability, a rock upon which a stable democratic society could be built."

Former President Keldon Silviu said he was grateful for Nathus's "years of service to our nation, and on a personal level as an important and trusted advisor during my own tenure as President."

Vice President Josko Ivers said that Yerkal Nathus "was one of the best friends and greatest mentors I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my political life".

Former President Jaagen Autenberg said that Nathus was "the pride of the north and a dang fine man."

Nathus himself was quoted as being comfortable with his time in office being temporary.

"I'll never understand those people who want to be President for life. If you can't achieve something in, what, eight years... then you're probably never going to achieve it. Radiatia is a country that believes in efficiency. I think that efficiency should be applied to government - get in, do as much as you can in as short a time you can and then get out and let the next generation take over. Don't hang around being a relic of a bygone era."

And as he so eloquently said during his farewell address to nation in 4040:

"As a new generation rises, and our generation disappears, then we leave this nation in the hands of those who follow us, and grant them the freedom to shape it as they wish."

- RPNN

by **Radiatia** » Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:16 am

KARASIAN CRISIS:
MCCARTHY LOSES KEY VOTE ON MILITARY ACTION AGAINST HADIN

March 2nd 4068NC Last updated 00:33 Exegrad Standard Time

XERCONIA, FCT
The Federal Parliament has rejected a motion authorising military action against Hadin despite an impassioned plea from President McCarthy.

_{Parliament has voted down a call by President Steven McCarthy for pre-emptive military action against Hadin}

S.J. Res 52 was defeated by a vote of 271-200 in the Federal Assembly and 60-40 in the Senate in a special joint session of the Federal Parliament, following an address to the Parliament by the President and 24 hours of urgent debate.

The result of the vote was widely seen as 'surprising' given the escalated situation in the Karasian Straits as well as McCarthy's decision to give a special address to Parliament. It makes for President McCarthy's biggest and most humiliating defeat in the legislature since his term began.

"I am extremely disappointed by this result," Said the President in a brief statement following the disastrous vote. "I believe with all my heart and mind that Parliament has made the wrong decision, that we must act now against Hadin or face disaster later.

"However, the constitution makes clear that I must respect this result and as Parliament are the representatives of the people, it is clear that the Radiatian people do not desire war with Hadin. I will respect this result."

Foreign Affairs Minister Mark Fleischer confirmed that "Despite the results of this vote, Radiatia will not abandon Nui-ta and we will continue to help them in every way that we still can - financially, technologically and strategically."

Nui-ta and Hadin formally entered a state of war following an unprovoked attack by Hadin on a Nui-tan ship which killed 400 sailors. Since then, Nui-tan missile defences have intercepted a number of attacks aimed at the Nui-tan mainland.

Senate Majority Leader Rudolf Ackermann [LCP - Alayenia] said that the vote meant that Parliament "has spoken loudly and clearly for the Radiatian people. We do not desire to send our sons and daughters to die in some foreign jungle when we have more pressing matters to deal with here at home."

Senator Ackermann, who became the de facto leader of the 'No' voters, criticised McCarthy's willingness to go to war "for a country that has consistently treated us with very little respect.

"I have two words for the President: San. Dhohra.

"Remember that? If they wanted our help they shouldn't have closed San Dhohra and with it put hundreds of not just military personnel but civilian contractors out of work."

A NEW POLITICAL CLEAVAGE EMERGES

One of the most interesting facets of the vote was that it was not actually done along partisan lines: President McCarthy was abandoned by many members of his own party yet supported by a surprisingly large cadre of hawkish Liberal-Conservatives.

In the Federal Assembly the vote was almost bi-partisan. While the total result was a 271-200 defeat, there were significant numbers from both parties on either side of the vote. 130 Social Democrats (of a caucus of 237) voted no, while 93 Liberal-Conservatives defied their party leadership to side with the President.

The LCP-controlled Senate was a little more partisan, with only 3 Liberal-Conservatives defecting to the Yes vote while 12 Social Democrats voted No.

"I have a huge amount of respect for President McCarthy but I think that on this occasion, he's got it wrong," Said MP Richard Yaroslava [SDU - Clode 8th District]. "I was a big believer in an idea promoted by the President's predecessor, President Autenberg: 'Radiatia First'. This motion does not put Radiatia First and I think it marks a return to the disastrous years of foreign policy adventurism. I can't possibly support this."

"I ain't able ter stand that thar President but when yer right yer right and dangnabbit, he's got it right for once!" Said Travis Playton [LCP - New Vashura 5th District]. "I've been sayin' fer YEARS that we gotta bomb the crap out of Crata before it's too late. What's that? Hadin? Where the hell's Hadin? Oh ugh... no Hadin's what I meant, yeah ugh, we gotta take 'em down!"

Political analyist and perennial commentator Dr. Boris Kahler said that the vote represents "that Radiatia is less divided along a left-right axis and now increasingly politics is about Interventionists versus Isolationists. It's a trend that began under Autenberg but we're seeing it reach fruition here."

'A HUGE BLOW TO THE PRESIDENT'

The vote marks a crushing defeat for the President and the first time that a President has ever been defeated by Parliament on such an important matter of foreign policy - even Angela Pavlovic was still able to gain some Parliamentary support for limited military action in the Karasian Straits in 4057.

"This is a crushing blow for the President and weakens his standing not just nationally, but internationally," Said Dr. Kahler. "Internationally it sends a message that he is not really in control of Radiatia and that Radiatia would once again rather sit on the sidelines than actively engage with the world.

"At home it's even more grim - Radiatian voters don't like failure and the President was deserted by dozens of members of his own party. He might have been elected in a landslide but this could be the beginning of the end of his Presidency."

Foreign affairs experts are also questioning whether the vote will see other countries, especially Nui-ta but many in Terra Oriens too, question the reliability of Radiatia as an ally with one columnist even suggesting that the Radiatian Parliament "has effectively signed the death warrant of the Nui-Ra alliance."

Former President Keldon Silviu, meanwhile, said that he felt the defeat could be put down to the fact that the President put forth a 'flawed' and 'incoherent' argument for war against Hadin and failed to remind MPs of the significant threat that Hadin poses to the federation.

"The Liberal-Conservative Party absolutely outfoxed the Social Democrats here - because yes this was actually partisan," Said Silviu. "The LCP knew that they were going to have rebels who would vote for war, such as Senators in Miitlania who rely on the local arms industry.

"I think the McCarthy Administration was naive to assume that the SDU would fall into line when the truth is there are a lot of isolationist Social Democrats in Parliament."

He pointed to the speech given by former Miss Radiatia turned Social Democratic MP Kristine Engel [SDU - Diifgrao 16th District] as an example of the 'weak and incoherent' response of the 'Yes' vote.

Engel, who reportedly ran for Parliament by accident after thinking she was filling out paperwork for a beauty contest justified her Yes vote to the Federal Assembly by stating:

"I personally believe that the Federation of Radiatians... federation... should, ugh, go and fight against those people who don't have ugh... Radiatian... and ugh I believe that military action like such as in ugh Poldania and the Rango Mango and everywhere like such as and I believe that Radiatia should help the Radiatian Federation or we should help Poldania and like Tuthina and help or help Terra Oriens so we can have a future for our children?"

"I winced at that," Said Silviu. "As soon as I saw her speech I knew we'd lost the vote. And that's a tragedy because we need boots on the ground in Karasia."

"THE SYSTEM WORKS"

Several Social Democratic isolationists said that the vote represented a victory not just for dovish politicians but also "for the constitution".

"The decision to go to war is one of the most serious that any politician in any nation will ever face," Said Senator Gideon Hurst [SDU - Resterbury], one of the 12 Social Democrats to vote against the motion in the Senate. "That's a decision that needs to be made by the representatives of the people, not by one individual and what we saw today is that the Radiatian people do not want war.

"We did as the constitution intended and made sure that a declaration of war continued to be a measure of last resort, rather than a kneejerk reaction every time a foreigner does something we don't like. We have saved lives today."

Senator Zilla Nakano [SDU - North Chiridia] agreed stating that while she was "sickened" by Hadin's recent actions she felt that "Radiatia has not yet exhausted every option for bringing Hadin to heel. We should really be trying to host peace talks or engage in diplomacy to de-escalate the situation. This is not the right time for military action."

World leaders have thus far not commented on the results of the vote.

- RPNN

Hugtreeer (Das Engel, Amentra)
3 HOURS AGO
This is a great day for democracy! McCarthy's corporate puppet masters might have wanted a war but, to my absolute shock, our elected representatives actually stood up and did their jobs and represented the people for once. For the first time in years, I feel proud to be a Radiatian.

471 likes

User274921 (Midgard, Midgard)
2 HOURS AGO
So glad to see the smile being wiped off that smug twat's face!! Can't believe I voted for McCarthy in 4064... rest assured, this year I'll be voting LCP all the way!

434 likes

Matilda (Tovvil, Naras)
1 HOUR AGO
I think this seals it: Steven McCarthy will be a one-term wonder. Good riddance too - he doesn't hold a candle to Jaagen Autenberg (who btw would NEVER have tried to start a war!)

369 likes

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by **Karasi-a** » Tue Jan 26, 2021 9:19 pm

NNN - Nui-tan News Network

Snippets of Top News for Those On The Go

NEW YEAR, NEW PARLIAMENT

A.N 144 SEES A GOVERNMENT THAT'S SO SIMILAR YET SO VERY DIFFERENT

Rahku City, Rahku State--- 02:47 NST (March 19th, A.N 144) / 01:47 NZT, (September 25th, A.N 144)
NC 4068

Overview:

Decision 144 confirms a continuation of the Hajukugi/Kulkanni Coalition government, but changes brought in by the NEC sees a major change in the Parliament anyway.

Prime Minister Hajukugi becomes the first multiple term Prime Minister since former Prime Minister Ultimus Renton.

In a time of unprecedented crisis in the Karasian Straits, Prime Minister Binyamin Hajukugi goes on to win a second term at the polls and continue the Neo-Conservative coalition with Derch. The Prime Minister's election comes at a time when UNCA troops are moving in full force into the Bay of Zanzes. With fears rising that Nui-ta may be moving into an unwinnable war, talks are reportedly already beginning regarding the use of diplomatic backchannels to negotiate a de-escalation agreement with the Di Pascari High-Envoyship.

Hajukugi's re-election is largely attributable to both a positive public opinion of his handling of the situation by his supporters, and a relative unwillingness in swing voters to vote against him and risk a major governmental change in the midst of an international crisis.

"Public opinion in Nui-ta has tended to shift in favor of incumbent politicians during times of international conflict," said political analyst Kalina Zohran. "A lot of people who wouldn't normally have voted for the Neo-Cons, or voted at all, went to the polls to ensure a Hajukugi II administration. The populace isn't ready to risk a change".

Change has been a hallmark of the A.N 144 election regardless, with the NEC's landmark ruling to shift the ratio of seats for this election from 150,000:1 for Parliament to 300,000:1.

"There was a lot of debate over the imbalance that heavily populated states like Rahku could exercise over the elections," said NEC spokesperson Jatabh Mukesh. "At the same time, NEC analysts reviewing the post-electoral math worried that overcorrecting would simply reverse the direction of the problem rather than actually solve it. After reviewing the data from A.N 140's election extensively, the NEC ultimately agreed to double the ratio of constituents to seats".

"The move could not come at a better time, especially considering that the population of registered voters has risen beyond most predictions that the NEC had put together in A.N 140. South Zanzean immigration into the country has inflated the numbers so much that a nation-wide recount had to be done to confirm a lack of electoral fraud. The numbers don't lie; we're facing a second population boom we were never expecting and adjusting the ratio now will prevent a bloated Parliament in the years to come".

The overall trimming-down of seats hasn't affected the Hajukugi Administration much: the Neo-Cons actually performed better in A.N 144 than they did in the previous election, with their only seats lost being attributed to seats that don't exist at all anymore following the NEC's alterations. The CRP, on the other hand, lost a large number of seats even after accounting for the Parliamentary shrinkage.

"Alinia's managed to heavily influence the elections again," said Kalina Zohran, who had advised in a A.N 140 opinion piece that Alinia was one of the highest-priority states to watch. "It's seen a sharper rise in population than other states over the past ten years because it's also getting a high percentage of Hadinian ex-pats. Over the past few years, it's even started to see traffic from its neighboring state of Ocini, as the latter state's economy has been experiencing a dip. Some experts are remarking that Ocini's infrastructure and economy as they stand now has hit its maximum population capacity, and as Ocinians feel the crunch, they're moving into other states like Alinia".

"In addition, the war is also driving politics in Alinia --- Alinia's history makes Alinians in general especially nervous about the goings-on oversees, and the normally safe state for the CRP saw its dynamic shift towards the incumbent government as a result of the collective anxiety that most Alinians are facing at the moment".

NEW YEAR, NEW CONCERNS

CONFIDENCE IN SOUTH ZANZES AT LOWEST EVER LEVELS IN POLLS

An expose on North Zanzean survivors of the most recent border skirmishes leaked online, fueling concerns that the latest war in Karas might not even be justifiable by Nui-ta.

#MtoloAsrar has been trending on CONFERO following the reveal of North Zanzean media documenting the current challenges faced by survivors of the border skirmishes that set the stage for the most recent conflict in Karas. The content of North Zanzean news programs is not often available due to the tight media restrictions of the second world, but this particular documentary somehow managed to leak unto the internet through unspecified means.

The program, called 90 Minutes, is a North Zanzean program run separately from Hadinian state media (although in Hadin and other UNCA-affiliated countries, the program is widely available for viewing). This particular episode included interviews from numerous persons claiming to have been affected by South Zanzean actions along the border zone. In particular, the plight of one woman, Rinayuris Mtolo Asrar, has captured international attention and raised questions in Nui-ta as to whether or not a defensive war can truly be argued.

During her appearance on the segment, Mtolo Asrar could be seen crying as she described how South Zanzean attackers razed her village and burned most homes to the ground. Rinayuris, the small farming community which Mtolo Asrar was born and raised in, was destroyed in an engagement by terrorist entities in mid-January of NC 4068 (the end of AN 143). Hadin ultimately went on to condemn South Zanzes over such attacks and others like it and cited it as their casus belli, although no border engagements were authorized by the South Zanzean government. Nui-ta's entry into the war was prompted later, by the recent sinking of the HMS Xirjin.

Even so, the program's surfacing unto mainstream media has shed new light on another perspective on the war, and prompted calls at home in Nui-ta for the government's own casus belli to be re-evaluated. Internet boards such as Dreadit have been inundated with debate over the issue.

One commenter, DeafLeopard, supported Nui-ta maintaining an aggressive stance over the HMS Xirjin's sinking while otherwise supporting a withdrawal from the war: "this is South Zanzes's problem, not ours, and #MtoloAsrar lends new light to the idea that the Zanze might not even be fighting a defensive war to begin with anyway. Assuming Hadin addresses the ship they sunk, we should let the Septimists give the South Zanze the thrashing they're due".

Another commenter, FlyingF---Fish, was even more damning: "did we lose 400 Nui-tan men and women because of Hadin, or because of South Zanzes?..."

Hadinian state media has also reportedly been pushing the platform that South Zanzes is the party at most fault over the war, with a Hadinian Vir Consili (Councilman) even stating that he viewed South Zanzes as being the ultimate party needing to be dealt with by the Hadinian military. Said Councilman even added that diplomacy with other involved countries like Nui-ta was on the table, and that he would reportedly "welcome that conversation" when South Zanzes had been dealt with accordingly. As Seglandic and Radiatian ships move into Karasian waters, state of war or no, a worldwide push for a quick and diplomatic end to the current war is gaining popularity. Only time will tell if the various nations of the world can come to such a conclusion.

NEW YEAR, NEW VISITORS

MR. TRICKI TO BE ALLOWED ENTRY INTO NUI-TA ON MEDIA VISA

The Hajukugi Administration has expressed support for Mr. Tricki, aka Hans Sebastino, to be allowed into Nui-ta on a media visa.

In a surprise reversal from the Hajukugi I platform, the External Affairs Ministry has revealed that Mr. Tricki will be granted clearance to visit Nui-ta in late March regarding his work in the media.

Mr. Tricki, also known as Hans Sebastino, has made waves over the last several years due to his high-profile status as a whistleblower. Most of his work has been concentrated towards the Hadinian Theocracy, of which Sebastino was a citizen since age 4. With this having been said, Sebastino has targeted classified information from other countries as well, including Higgins and Brown, Radiatia, and even Nui-ta.

Born in NC 4035, Sebastino was originally a Nui-tan citizen whose parents defected to Hadin in NC 4039. In NC 4062, Sebastino fled Hadin and gained political asylum in Arthuria. He became an Arthurian citizen last year, in NC 4067.

Although originally a dark-web site catering solely to classified leaks, TrickiLeaks has grown to become a news outlet in its own right. Though Sebastino has stated that the site's primary purpose remains as an outlet for whistleblowers such as himself, the project's move to the neutral shores of Arthuria has allowed Sebastino to widen the scope of TrickiLeaks to include non-classified news and opinion pieces on various activities in Karas. TrickiLeaks itself remains a non-profit organization, though Sebastino's fame has recently seen him go on web-based interviews and write as a guest author for other news related sites outside of the project. The 33-year-old Hadinian man has a huge following across Noctur, with his CONFERO now boasting almost three-quarter million follower across the world. It is even thought that Sebastino's incredible popularity may be one of the driving reasons for the Neo-Con/Derch coalition government to have reversed their stance on Sebastino going into their second administration.

NEW YEAR, NEW.....LAWYER?

SURPRISE APPOINTMENT BY THE CROWN LEAVES MANY PUNDITS SPECULATING WHAT IS TO COME

In a move fueling political speculation, the Emperor's office has confirmed the appointment of New Zanzes's Crivan i-Harendo as its next Attorney General.

In a shocking move, the Emperor's office has confirmed that Emperor Rowan di-Amori has appointed New Zanzean state's attorney Crivan i-Harendo as its incoming Attorney General. i-Harendo will begin his tenure in April of NC 4068, when the present Attorney General Kitara o-Nalanalir vacates the office.

o-Nalanalir tendered her resignation from the post effective April 1st. Though the reason for her resignation has not been made public, many insiders within the Imperial Court in Kauruzil report that o-Nalanalir's reserved actions as the Emperor's chief legal council were becoming growingly unpopular.

"Following the failure of President McCarthy's bid for a Radiatian declaration of war, some Radiatian members of the Federal Parliament cited San Dhohra as one of the biggest reasons why they did not support Radiatian interventionism into the current situation in Karas," said an employee of the Emperor's office, speaking on condition of anonymity.

"In truth, the executive order that prompted San Dhohra was a last-ditch effort by the Emperor to prevent the Dehran Administration from pushing Radiatia out of the country more forcefully. Following military leaks that jeopardized San Dhohra and San Jarahi during the first Karasian War, the Dehran Administration was prepping to have a field-day gutting Radiatian operations on the former base. Efforts to move RFSOUTHCOMM to other bases had failed largely due to Parliamentary concerns, and the Emperor privately put a lot of blame on his outgoing Attorney General not being able to successfully put together other solutions without being shut out by Parliament and the High Court".

"The Dehran administration was a particularly stressful one for the Emperor because it resulted in a lot of loss of power for the most powerful man in the country. By having o-Nalanalir be succeeded by one of the most aggressive attorneys in the country, there's no doubt the Emperor is looking to prevent such a weakness from inhibiting his office a second time. The Hajukugi administration has reportedly been a more friendly one for the Emperor than that of Talia Dehran, but there will come a time, likely sooner than one thinks, where the Emperor may find himself needing a really powerful enforcer at his back. It's likely the Crown's hope that i-Harendo will be that enforcer".

It's well known that i-Harendo comes from political roots. His mother, the late Trenta Crumlo i-Harendo, was Nui-ta's first Prime Minister to have been both female and a non-noble. She's also widely famed as being one of the greatest Prime Ministers in Nui-ta's history, though depending on whom you ask, recent polls have seen her ranking dip slightly in comparison to Paolo Medici. Her achievements included sweeping reforms to the Nui-tan Internal Affairs Ministry (which has since been separated into two separate Ministries), spearheading the Nui-Ra alliance, and breaking a cultural barrier by marrying a nobleman at a time when such a thing was still relatively taboo. Despite the famous name, Mr. i-Harendo does not seem keen to follow his mother's political footsteps, having gone on record as declining to run for public office as recently as NC 4066.

That may well be for the best: the 37-year-old boasts an impressive resume in his own right, graduating at the top of his class from the University of Mercuria's Law School. While completing conscription requirements, he was successfully admitted to the bar via multistate examination. Following the end of his conscription term, he began work in the state of New Zanzes, moving from private firm work to the state's attorney office in NC 4058. Beginning with the NC 4062 corruption case of disgraced-governor Kumal ha-Nagachir, state's attorney i-Harendo gained a reputation for tackling cases usually reserved for much more experienced lawyers --- and winning. To date, he's handled 24 cases on behalf of the State of New Zanzes, prevailing in 21 of them. Of 3 defeats, 2 of his presented cases were dismissed without prejudice. Furthermore, of the 21 cases he's successfully argued, 12 involved multiple states.

"Without even considering his family background or the respect his name commands," the anonymous employee stated, "i-Harendo is a formidable force in any Nui-tan court. There have been a few cases put forward where New Zanzes was the respondent which were folded the moment that he [i-Harendo] was confirmed to be defending the state. Future executive orders that are put forward by the Emperor may suddenly see a bit more bite to them. This is no trivial change in office".

by **Radiatia** » Tue Feb 16, 2021 10:54 pm

JEREMY JAGER ANNOUNCES PRESIDENTIAL BID
EXEGRAD MAYOR NEW FRONTRUNNER AHEAD OF LCP PRIMARIES

February 17th 4068NC Last updated 18:10 Exegrad Standard Time

EXEGRAD, ALAYENIA
The mayor of Radiatia's largest city has officially thrown his hat in the ring as the Liberal-Conservative Party begins its search for a challenger to Steven McCarthy in the Presidential election later this year.

_{Exegrad mayor Jeremy Jager is the new frontrunner in the Liberal-Conservative Party primaries}

The 40 year old mayor, who in 4066 successfully ended 16 years of Social Democratic rule in Exegrad, plans to convince Liberal-Conservative voters that he is their best chance of ousting President McCarthy when Radiatians go to the polls in July. If successful, Jager will become Radiatia's youngest ever President.

He began his announcement by trumpeting his achievements as mayor of Exegrad and attempting to contrast his "efficient city government" with the "broken promises and broken leadership of the McCarthy Administration".

"In just two years we have seen a fundamental transformation in Exegrad. It is now safe to drink from your tap, something many said could never be done. Crime rates in the city are down 60% and we're seeing urban renewal.

"What were once derelict factories are now upmarket restaurants, what were once slums are now new eco-friendly high-rises and smog levels in the city are now considered only dangerous to the elderly instead of everyone!" Said Jager. "Let's contrast that with two years of Steven McCarthy, where we've seen billions of Tsenyens go on projects that are constantly delayed, a President who gives excuses instead of speeches and an economy that is constantly faltering on the edge of recession."

Jager eschewed the more traditional LCP campaign launching backdrop of a farmhouse in the prairies and instead chose the affluent Silviu Hills area of Exegrad, where the famous statue of Traiyan Silviu could be seen in the background - a move that is believed to show not only that Jager plans to appeal to 'aspirational' middle class voters while portraying Jager as a hip, urban leader as opposed to the rural focus of McCarthy (and Autenberg before that).

Jager has thus far been reticent when it comes to the details of his policies, although he has intimated that several infrastructure projects begun by the McCarthy Administration will be scrapped in order to pay for federal tax cuts.

Jager also hit out at McCarthy's 'disastrous' foreign policy, saying that the President is "Not so much the Sherriff of Noctur, but the hapless mall security guard of Noctur", although the Mayor stated that he remained firmly on the isolationist end of the spectrum when it came to foreign policy.

"The Radiatian taxpayer does not want to be paying for foreign wars." He said when asked about possible Radiatian intervention in the Karasian Straits.

Mayor Jager becomes the third Liberal-Conservative to announce their run for President, after Senate Major Leader Rudolf Ackermann (also from Alayenia) announced he planned to challenge the President directly, while Ziigrut Premier Taisiya Pierce began her campaign in Xerconia stating that she was the only candidate experienced enough to lead Radiatia through the next few years.

Early polling shows that Jeremy Jager - who is very popular among the middle class, young people and immigrants - is an early frontrunner while additional polling suggests he would be most likely to defeat Steven McCarthy in July, thanks to his appeal in a range of key swing-states, especially Alayenia.

President McCarthy reacted to the announcement with a shrug and said "Bring it on".

"Over the last four years, in fact the last eight years, we have seen the first serious reduction in income inequality since the fall of communism and that's a record I am very proud of," Said McCarthy. "Poverty and illiteracy have been all but eradicated. The poorest 10% of Radiatians are still among the richest 10% of people in Noctur and we have some of the highest average incomes in the entire world thanks to the policies of my administration and the Autenberg Administration before me.

"The LCP may have a few charming faces in their ranks, but their policies are just smoke and mirrors."

- RPNN

Manman (Yamman, Alayenia)
3 HOURS AGO
I don't know why, but I can't help liking Jeremy Jager. I've never voted LCP in my life, but if he wins the nomination I'll be voting blue for the first time ever.

617 likes

Fillhrog (Vaitko, Mendovium)
2 HOURS AGO
At this stage I'd vote to eat my own shit if it was a choice between that or Steven McCarthy. Not a big fan of Jeremy Jager - I'd rather Ackermann or Pearce but it really can't get worse than what we have in office right now.

500 likes

Yodudel (Musk, Vatfer)
1 HOUR AGO
Steven McCarthy might not be as charismatic as Jaagen Autenberg but he's a damn good President. How short are people's memories? The LCP do this every time - they pretend they care about the trendy issues of the day and then they take a big shit on the poor people of this country leaving the SDU to clean up the mess.

414 likes

In Other News:

Volcanic eruption in Bahamatsu causes local livestock to become frightened
Binyamin Hajukugi wins second term as Nui-tan Prime Minister
Market experts say now is a good time to invest "as Noctur is currently very peaceful and stable with no signs of crisis emerging"

by **Radiatia** » Fri Mar 12, 2021 5:26 am

SPECIAL EDITION:

RADIATIA

AT

WAR.

COWARDLY HADINIANS ATTACK SAN SIPI NAVAL BASE
"BLOODY SUNDAY" DEATH TOLL REACHES 22,080
"RADIATIA'S DARKEST DAY" SAYS PRESIDENT
PARLIAMENT VOTES TO DECLARE WAR

March 8th 4068NC Last updated 00:19 Exegrad Standard Time

BREAKING NEWS
The Radiatian Federal Parliament has today voted to formally declare war on Hadin, following a cowardly and unprovoked attack on a Radiatian military base that has cost the lives of over 20,000 Radiatians.

_{The death toll has been confirmed at over 22,000 people following the cowardly attack on a Radiatian military base}

The vote came only a week after politicians rejected the McCarthy Administration's calls for a pre-emptive declaration of war on Hadin, which has for weeks been in a state of war with Nui-ta, Radiatia's oldest ally.

President McCarthy called the special joint session less than a day after the Radiatian military base on San Sipi island was struck by an undeclared surprise attack which saw the sinking of two aircraft carriers, 12 destroyers and 5 cruisers. The attack also saw the loss large number of fighter aircraft, unable to take off in time.

The Hadinians then proceeded to attack civilian targets on the island, slaughtering innocent civilian contractors and the wives and children of those stationed upon the island, while Hadinian commandoes attempted to storm the island and take it by force. Following fierce gunfights and considerable acts of bravery, Radiatian soldiers ultimately held the island but retained it at the cost of the single biggest loss of life in one day since the fall of communism.

At no point was there ever a formal declaration of war from Hadin, making the theocratic regime now guilty of a number of war crimes in a familiar modus operandi resembling the savage nation's unprovoked attack on Nui-ta.

In scenes similar to those witnessed last week, President McCarthy again addressed a joint session of Parliament but was much more forceful in his address.

"There is now only one way you can vote on this issue without breaking the oaths you swore when you became MPs and Senators," Said the President. ""I therefore urge the Radiatian Federal Parliament to vote the right way."

The President said that the attack would likely go down in history as "Bloody Sunday" and in remarks to the press said that the attack represented "Radiatia's darkest day."

The President's speech was brief and there was very little debate in either chamber. The Senate voted unanimously for war, while in the Federal Assembly there was only one vote against a declaration of war, which came from MP Max Simonsen [SDU - North Corpshire 3rd District].

"No way man!" Said Simonsen when confronted by media after the vote. "War is never the way man! Make love not war, man! I'll never vote how the squares want me to vote, man!"

Following the successful vote, President McCarthy placed all Radiatian Unified Combatant Commands onto Code Red and activated the Selective Service System for the first time since it was introduced - the system means that a draft lottery will be taking place with all Radiatians aged 17 to 27 liable to be drafted for active duty service.

McCarthy, a one-time opponent of conscription stated that "Radiatia faces the greatest existential threat we have ever faced since we became a democracy. The defence of this country requires all of us, and that means younger Radiatians are being asked to come forth in defence of the nation.

"Our constitution has a bill of rights and a bill of responsibilities. The time has come to invoke the latter in order to defend the former."

The formal declaration of war also means that the McCarthy Administration is able to invoke a series of powers reserved only for wars and national emergencies - this includes the right to direct our nation's industry to produce for the war effort, the right to seize essential resources and begin rationing if necessary and the right to engage in limited levels of media censorship if certain information is deemed of national security importance - however our rights and important institutions will still remain overseen by the Supreme Court to ensure that the state of emergency remains a temporary one.

Several industry bosses have welcomed the declaration of war, with Skody CEO Kristia Schwangau openly stating that "this is the shot in the arm that our arms manufacturing industry desperately needed!"

Skody, who in recent years have been forced to concentrate more on automobile manufacturing than ordnance manufacturing have announced they will be immediately redeploying staff to build "tanks, bombs, guns - whatever our troops need!" in a move that is expected to create up to 250,000 new jobs.

The almighty Greasy Joe's Corporation have also pledged that they will begin to focus their vast resources on the military supply chain, having signed an early contract with RFMOBILCOMM to provide meals and ration packs to those on the front lines. The corporation have also expressed a willingness to supply troops in other ways, following the recent launch of its new subsidiary "Greasy Joe's Extra Deadly Munitions Manufacturing".

And while the San Sipi disaster has cost countless lives and cost hundreds of billions in damage, one company has said the Hadins have bailed out their business.

"We were almost about to shut down and now suddenly we're busier than ever!" Said Bob Krow, the CEO and founder of Bob's Bodybag Emporium. "Too many people have been dying dignified deaths of old age and drunk driving just isn't as popular as it was. We were on the verge of folding and then this wonderful tragedy came up! And with us at war, we're sure to go from strength to strength in the next two quarters! So... when do we start recording the interview? Uh oh..."

Meanwhile, while there has been no official word from the Federal Ministry of Defence, sources within the Ministry have told RPNN that an analysis into the attack on San Sipi has confirmed the use of hypersonic missiles, technology that Hadin were hitherto believed not to possess. There was also evidence of advanced stealth technology and sabotage in the attack with officials expressing a private view that Hadinian hackers may have gained access to classified Radiatian technology and reverse-engineered it for the attack.

Defence Minister Friedrich Marshall has declined to comment.

- RPNN

Shantspitter (Yuesses, New Vashura)
3 HOURS AGO
oh man i just turned 17 and i dont wanna be drafted. im too scared 2 fight a war!

201 likes

Hugtreer (Das Engel, Amentra)
2 HOURS AGO
Finally we're at war! I've said all along we can't trust Hadin and that we should be at war with them! {RAD} {RAD}

199 likes

Botanot (Cerea, Chongluntz)
1 HOUR AGO
| Hugtreer
| Finally we're at war! I've said all along we can't trust Hadin and that we should be at war with them! {RAD} {RAD}
Ugh, aren't you the guy who one week ago was saying that war was wrong and McCarthy was a corporate puppet for wanting to go to war? Hmmm....

906 likes

In Other News:

There is no other news. WE'RE AT WAR.

by **Radiatia** » Sat Mar 13, 2021 10:15 pm

LENA TORIAH ADDRESSES NATION
FORMER PRIME MINISTER MAKES RARE PUBLIC APPEARANCE FOLLOWING DECLARATION OF WAR

March 13th 4068NC Last updated 17:33 Exegrad Standard Time

YEISKA, RADIA
In a rare public appearance, former Prime Minister Lena Toriah made a televised address to the nation following the declaration of war on Hadin.

_{Former Prime Minister Lena Toriah has made a rare public address following the declaration of war.}

The 82-year old former Prime Minister, who is Radiatia's oldest surviving former leader and sometimes referred to as 'The Mother of the Nation' originally broadcast the five minute address online until it was picked up by various television networks and made into an official address at the behest of the McCarthy Administration.

"Today we are facing our most profound national challenge since the collapse of the communist regime," Said Mrs. Toriah. "I am well aware that for younger Radiatians this will amount to the most significant challenge in your lifetimes.

"Radiatia is a federation made up of millions of unique individuals, hundreds of cultures and dozens of languages. Our strength has always come from our diversity but now more than ever we must stand united against totalitarianism, oppression, religious extremism and regimes that seek to plunge us back into darkness and ignorance.

"I have full confidence that with proper planning, attention to duty, hard work and Radiatian efficiency we can overcome this threat.

"It remains my hope that the crisis we face now will be overcome soon with as little loss of life as possible and that soon all nations, not just ours, will live in peace and prosperity. Whatever sacrifices we will make, let us never lose sight of that goal."

The public appearance of a former leader whose popularity rivals that of Traiyan Silviu is no doubt intended to both comfort an anxious populace while underscoring the severity of the international situation.

Lena Toriah served as Radiatia's first female head of government from 4030 to 4038 and is widely credited with both the preservation of Radiatian democracy, at a time when the nation was backsliding towards authoritarianism as well as her successful 'Lenanomics' programme that resulted in the biggest economic expansion in history.

Her other achievements include opening Radiatia up to the rest of world at a time when the nation was an international pariah and signing important agreements such as the Nui-Ra agreement in 4034.

As one historian put it, "Lena Toriah took a declining second world nation and dragged it kicking and screaming into the first world. When she came to power Radiatia was teetering on the verge of returning to communism, when she left office it was a stable democracy and a rising superpower."

Mrs. Toriah was also Prime Minister during the Hadinian War.

Toriah has made few public appearances since leaving office and is said to be something of recluse. Her last public appearance was in 4044 when she endorsed Keldon Silviu's run for President. She made a brief statement following the death of former President Yerkal Nathus last year, but was unable to attend his funeral due to illness.

Mrs. Toriah's public address came less than a day after Segland announced it was declaring war on the Radiatian Federation. The Federal Parliament is expected to meet later today and is likely to vote to declare war on all UNCA nations.

- RPNN

Bronan (Witzer, Mendovium)
3 HOURS AGO
You know it's serious when they wheel out Lena Toriah. At first I thought this was just another foreign war but if she's coming out then I'm actually worried.

502 likes

Flippy (Fire Lake, Bahamatsu)
2 HOURS AGO
| Bronan
| You know it's serious when they wheel out Lena Toriah. At first I thought this was just another foreign war but if she's coming out then I'm actually worried.
Mee to. i dont usually watch da news but yeh im scared now

212 likes

_{Advertisement:}

In Other News:

Radiatia expected to declare war on Segland, following Seglandic war declaration
WHO IS JACK SCHWARTZEMANN? The General charged with Radiatia's counter-attack.
EXE500 sees 'surprise' gains following war declaration.

by **Rango Mango** » Sun Jun 20, 2021 3:06 am

Rango Mango Ministry of Information
"Serving the Truth"

RANGOLESE GOVERNMENT DENIES CHARGES OF GENOCIDE, FOLLOWING DISAPPEARANCE OF MANGOLESE TRIBE

ADAMAS, 20th June 2021
Sneaky foreign devils have accused the People's Republic of the crime of genocide, following the widespread disappearance of several thousand Mangolese tribesman - a charge that is refuted by President Pat Mbutu.

"Foreign devils lie like snakes in the grass!" Our sage leader was quoted as saying. "They will create any number of fictions in order to destabilise our great and peaceful paradise and corrupt our citizens with the mind of Satan himself!"

President Mbutu, who is well respected throughout the world for his benevolence, honesty and transparency has acknowledged that between 100,000 and 1,000,000 Mangolese people have disappeared in the last six months but firmly denies any charges that the Rangolese government is responsible.

"I am as mystified as anyone as to when, why and how so many people have gone missing!" Said the President. "I assume that they are merely on vacation and pray for their safe return any day now."

It is feared that many of the Mangolese tribe may have fallen off the edge of the world, which is located to the south of Rango Mango.

"I must stress citizens again and again not to attempt to leave our glorious paradise!" Said the President. "We live very close to the edge of this flat world, and terrible tragedies have befallen everyone who has ever attempted to explore that forbidden area. Stay home - you are safer here!"

Small numbers of reports have also suggested that members of the Mangolese may have committed mass suicide, with one government official recounting the number of Mangolese dissidents who insisted on tying themselves up and standing in front of guns as they were being fired.

There have also been reports of many selfless Mangolese tribesmen donating their body parts to the nation, or taking on new employment as mulch and fertiliser.

Officials from the Ministry of Information have also concluded that the disappearances could be merely a result of a clerical statistical error, with no evidence remaining that such individuals ever existed in the first place.

"These claims of mass disappearances and genocides have all the hallmarks of an out of control practical joke!" Said the Minister for Information. "There is no reason to fear or alarm, we are a safe, stable and prosperous nation!"

Noctur Press Association [CLOSED, Noctur Only]

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