NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Pogaria]

Nuremgard

This person is a machine. Doesn't even have to draft on the forum and has 16 issues.

Well, CWA frequently drafts issues on the forum and has 88 published issues. Whatever works for you...

[Jutsa]

Guess so. Still find it impressive though

Then again, I find CWA's 88 issues to be extremely impressive regardless.

[Deep Communism]

New issue. Also, looks like Smalltopia is officially a German nation.

Issue #1318: Blitzed

The Issue

Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army’s ‘Lightning War’ was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office and this conversation isn’t going to be an easy trip.

The Debate

Option 1. “The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War,” states Lieutenant General Rubin, well known for her singular battlefield tactic of ‘more cannon fodder’. “They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines.”

Option 2. “Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort,” ponders Major General al-Assad, who prefers to lead by example. “However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions. When those missions are over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects.”

Option 3. “Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!” declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. “If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness — not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol and even caffeine.”

Option 4. “Why only soldiers?” questions your secretary, as he grinds his teeth incessantly, makes you a drink with one hand and takes meeting minutes with the other. “Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk, not to mention all the other tasks I’m expected to carry out. There’s never enough time in the day! Dose every worker in @@NAME@@ with methamphetamines and see how efficient they become!”

Issue by The Imperial Glorious Empire of Baggieland

Edited by Baggieland

I assume the name in option three isn't random. Also, I hope you guys are okay with Voxija posting the issues she got on puppets with her puppets.

This nation is very obviously socialist, and there might be a different option four for capitalist nations.

[Sedgistan]

New issue. Also, looks like Smalltopia is officially a German nation.

It was an Austria reference when I first used it (#427 with Harold Weissenegger/Arnold Schwarzenegger) but these things tend to evolve.

[Trotterdam]

I still see it as more "the kind of place that produces people like Arnold Schwarzenegger" than Austria or Germany specifically.

[Tatarica]

Hello everyone,

I had a question on my mind and hopefully this is the right place to ask it.

Are there any issues any of you, on your nation or on your puppets, hope receiving in order to increase / tank your Economy? Do you remember the issue name? I am not looking for actual issue answer options, just curious to see if there are any Issues that are more successful to boost or destroy the Economy after answering.

I remember when I answered issues 15 years ago that there was this particular issue with uranium mining, if I wanted to destroy some mountains. One answering option to that issue always gave me a huge boost to Economy. But lately I encountered the same issue on newly founded puppet of mine and it did absolutely nothing (an increase of 0.2%) and the economy was mediocre before. So I am wondering if there are any nowadays that actually have some noticeable effects!

Thank you!

[TalAkMaChen]

About #1318: Those options are not 1-4 but 1, 2, 3/4/5, and 7 -- so there is (at least) one more.
Names are random, secretary can also be a female; the one in "Option 3" is fixed.
To explain:
Option 3 = Option 4 = Option 5
All are equal in their wording. How weird!
Not sure about option 6 yet.... have not seen that one. Yet.

1317: Nanny State [Nuremgard; ed: The Free Joy State]

The Issue
After the recent birth of the first child of Princess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ of @@NAME@@, newspaper pundits have begun to question how Her Royal Highness will juggle the responsibilities of parenthood with her royal duties.

The Debate
1. “Look no further than I, your super-duper firm-but-fair classy granny’s nanny,” announces Kerri Cracking, sweeping through the door with a stylish bag made entirely out of mohair carpet. “Close your mouths, please, Ministers — we are not a codfish. As you see, I have worked only with the right sorts of family. I am stern, but kind; I don’t put up with any nonsense, but have a somewhat magical effect on the youngsters. With me, the newborn royal will learn good manners, graceful refinement and be prepared to take their proper place in the world. Tell the applicants waiting outside to go fly a kite so I can get on. Spit spot.”

2. “What century are you living in?” retorts your brand new Minister for Women’s Equality @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while scanning some application forms rather closely. “The royal nanny should be qualified in the latest childcare techniques, child development and first aid, and should be female. This will show the women of the nation your commitment to female employment. And she should be pretty. That way, a Rainbow Pony girls will know that being pretty doesn’t mean a girl can’t have talents; it’ll bust stereotypes. And as the Princess is all pudgy and wan after the birth, it wouldn’t hurt to have her trailed by someone more photogenic... Okay, who said that I won’t last a week at the Ministry?”

[3]. “What century are we living in indeed?” asks your Minister for Transport, while adjusting the rainbow pin on his suit. “Why don’t you hire a manny? A professional manny will be just as well-trained in childcare as any female nanny, and can be glamorous, ensuring the royal children are dressed in the latest and best styles. Not only that, it will show how progressive the royal family are, and how the entire community and their potential contribution to childrearing — regardless of their gender or sexual orientation — is valued. That’s sure to win support for the royal family. How about it?”
Validity 3: same-sex marriage is legal

4. “Why embrace this century when you can embrace the future?” chimes your slightly singed Junior Science Adviser, lugging in his latest robotic prototype. “Meet LUL-2000, an AI nanny. Now, I know the blinking red eye looks a little strange and the hands are still a bit claw-like; the next one will have a skin on it, I swear. But think of this: it’ll show your commitment to technology and science, and it’ll give me a chance to show off the capabilities of my prototype. It feeds babies, burps them, changes them and puts them to bed content and safe 96.7% of the time. And the percentage is rising. I mean, the kids might be scared to begin with but they’ll adapt, right?”

5. “Or, here’s a revolutionary idea,” storms an exhausted woman as she bursts through the door, shaking off a toddler clinging to her leg and bouncing a crying newborn. “How about all the toffs look after their right royal brats their right royal selves? Crazy idea, I know. Royals are all busy dubbing ships @@NAMEINITIALS@@S Snooty-Arse and whatever royals do. Well, I’m sorry, but other working mothers have to manage: up before dawn to do housework, spend half an hour with the kids, feed them, then out to work. Princess Whatshername can manage without help, too.” Shoving her crying baby at you, she waltzes out of the meeting room, returning sheepishly moments later to collect him.

Names and stuff macro-nized (I had the exact same in option 1, so very likely fixed). I also had a male speaker in option 2, so maybe that's only male. Also note the "And the percentage is rising" with italics in option 4.
Edit: Speakers 1-3 male, so macros adapted there.


Edit 2: Added validity for 1317 ... this one is not seen at nations that do not allow same-sex marriages.

[The Free Joy State]

I also had a male speaker in option 2, so maybe that's only male.

Just a pointer that the name is set to @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@.

[Minoa]

#1319: Dying for Two [The Free Joy State; ed:Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
A woman in southern @@NAME@@ has written a letter directly to you after being denied an abortion by her doctor, who feared contravening the laws that declare terminating pregnancies to be illegal. She is sixteen weeks pregnant with an anencephalic foetus — missing part of the skull and brain — who will live for a short time, and is herself rapidly sickening with complications related to lupus. Doctors have told her therapeutic abortion is her best chance for life, and would be offered in many countries, but not in @@NAME@@.

The Debate
1. “Doctors often fear prescribing some treatments deemed most effective by global health organisations, in case it harms the foetus,” argues Dr. Doris @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, not looking up as she works her way through a stack of paperwork. “If a woman is dying from a septic miscarriage, we fear intervening in case the foetus might still be alive, and are blocked from carrying out abortions even when it would save the mother’s life. Women’s health should not be second-class. Medical professionals should be exempt from sanction if foetal loss occurs as a result of our care, and should be allowed to carry out abortions where medically necessary. I’m not saying we should be proud of offering abortions, but we quietly and discretely do so when the need arises.”

2. “And what about the senseless slaughter of innocent babies?” sniffs Dr. Peter @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who has eight children that he rarely sees. “There is no moral justification possible for the murder of a child. None, ever. Besides, pregnancy — even with lupus — is safer than it has ever been. It is possible that both may live. Train doctors to treat women conservatively, preventing any avoidable harm to their pre-born children. Remember that there’s two people here, and both deserve a chance to live.”

3. “Some mothers are but phoenices,” muses Ms. Lotta Childe, the childless partner of the founder of moralist group As I Say. “Born to die, so that a new generation might arise from the ashes of their deaths. All birth is good, for life equals potential — ergo goodness. Rather than this ten-a-penny carrier’s bugaboo, consider her tragic infant. We squander so much money on medicalising a normal, simple process. Let us return to wholly natural gestation and birth; prenatal scans and checks only worry the breeding stock unnecessarily. If there are mishaps, remind mothers that only through sacrifice does our worthless existence mean something.”

4. “The presence of pro-life legislation is critical to the moral health of this nation, but we cannot be entirely inflexible,” offers Naomi @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, your Minister of Problematic Trolleys. “We should maintain our moral and legal stance in @@NAME@@, but allow for one-off exceptions to be made to allow specific patients to travel overseas for an abortion. Due consideration should involve a panel of experts and ethicists, as this is not a decision to be undertaken lightly.”

---

"Lotta Childe" seems to be fixed but I left the names because two samples are needed to confirm which is random. I know that banning abortion is one way to get this issue.

[TalAkMaChen]

I can confirm, names except for Lotta Childe are random. Also, note there are italics in these options:
2: "It is possible that both may live."
3: "founder of moralist group As I Say." and "If there are mishaps"

[Minoa]

In my case, the first names are not changing.

[Trotterdam]

In my case, the first names are not changing.

Are you just reloading the page after logging out and in on the same nation? That's normal.

[TalAkMaChen]

#1321: Who Wants to Know a Millionaire? [Asle Leopolka; ed: Zwangzug]

The Issue

A climbing jackpot in the lucrative @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ national lottery has led to weeks of media frenzy, and at last, a ticket sold at a corner drugstore in @@CAPITAL@@ has been drawn. However, the winner has refused to come forward to claim their prize. A letter sent without return address purports to be from the winner, who demands to remain anonymous.

The Debate

1. “This is a matter of privacy and safety,” argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, a spokesperson for the pro-anonymity group Citizens Railing Against Peeping. “Releasing the names of these winners puts them in considerable risk. Last month’s winner was harassed by former partners, stalked by tireless panhandlers, and nearly robbed by half a dozen chuggers! Lottery winners need to be left alone so they can go back to their normal jobs — or not, as the case may be.”

2. “We must continue to publicize these lucky winners,” interjects your head of gaming, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while slipping on a pair of black leather gloves. “Our lotteries help fund important @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ programs like education, parks, and hacki- I mean technical literacy, so the people need to know the winners’ identities to ensure it’s not just government insiders who win. Plus,” @@HE@@ continues while putting on a clown mask, “we’re still a nation of laws. I’ll concede that a few weirdos will stalk the winners, but the overwhelming majority of our citizens are courteous enough to leave them alone. Now where did I leave my lockpicking set?”

3. “Gambling is the Devil’s vice!” proclaims puritan zealot @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Lotteries are a legal avenue for the state to rob the destitute and mathematically illiterate! I’ve spent millions of francs on tickets and haven’t won a fraction of it back! You need to not just protect the winner, but all of @@NAME@@ — outlaw all forms of gambling immediately!”

Names and gender were random on different nations, the draft has random as well.

[Bears Armed]

# 1320

A Case of Poor Turnaround

The Issue
The @@ANIMAL@@ Room — a @@CAPITAL@@ nightclub known as a swinging hotspot — was recently the site of a tragic fire that started with a flaming sambuca shot and ended claiming the lives of hundreds. Fire investigators have attributed the high number of deaths to multiple causes, but most notably the large revolving door which was the only access to the premises, which panicked crowds jammed against as they tried to escape the blaze.

The Debate
1. “Imagine being pushed from behind, trying to get through a door which you know is unlocked, but which is providing no escape because of the mass of people trying to get through,” narrates criminal legislator Melody Grove. “The simple solution? Doors that swing outwards. Every revolving door must either be flanked by or replaced by swing doors, and proper fire exits must be built into every building that is accessible to the public.”

2. “Look, I’m sad, I’m super sad about that tragedy,” says Alice Butler, manager of competing nightclub @@CAPITAL Nights, as she pens a flyer for a Special Memorial Tribute Disco. “But do you really want all that bureaucracy putting a dampener on the whole nocturnal recreation industry? I tell you, all those dead party-goers would be spinning in their graves! Instead, step back and let the invisible hand of capitalism guide future fire safety measures. Customer choice and the laws of market competition will result in safer nightclubs, I guarantee it!”

3. “There’s potentially a silver lining here to the black clouds of smoke around this situation,” mentions your Minister of Surprises, popping up from behind a sofa. “A known dissident and vocal critic of your rule was amongst the dead. We should see this as a signpost to future opportunities. With a little surveillance of our political opponents’ social habits, a little well-planned arson, and a few strategically locked doors... well, let’s just say your problems will go up in smoke.”

Issue by The AI See You of Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Techolandia]

« Back to Issues
1 ASQUELE

The Circuit City Herald
VOL. 32 NO. 1,310
CITY FINAL
SATURDAY FEBRUARY 29, 2020

Intimate Relations
The Issue

A panel of experts has traced the rising neonatal mortality rate to the growing prevalence of inbreeding.
The Debate

name="choice-0" “I can’t see why you don’t just pass a law,” grumbles tired-looking midwife Zeke Locke. “You could just ban all of these... relationships... between Techolanders closer than second cousins! How hard is that?”

name="choice-1" “The answer obviously lies in education, not law enforcement,” pontificates biology teacher Marin Locke. “Science literacy in Techolandia is through the floor, which explains why so many Techolanders don’t understand the dangers of inbreeding. We need more funding for science education so we can really tackle the root of the problem.”

name="choice-2" “Science can go one better than that!” pipes up geneticist Conan Locke, waggling his eyebrows at Marin. “If we screen the embryos of those within a certain degree of consanguinity, we can eliminate all the serious health issues, like neural tube defects, congenital heart malformations and webbed feet. Then we can get with whoever we want!”

name="choice-3" “So I’ve designed this handy app,” says teenager Montgomery Locke, “Which lets you see how closely related you are to someone. Just bump your phones together — yes, like that, Leader. Huh, who would’ve known? If I can just get access to everyone’s data, I can ensure you don’t end up taking your aunt home after a night out. Because we’ve all been there.”

name="choice-5" “It’s no good ignoring the cyborg dog in the room, Leader,” warns local mayor Susie Locke. “It only takes one look at a slab-jawed Bigtopian or twelve-fingered Oogaboogalander to know where the problem lies — the primitive practices of immigrants. If these backwards savages won’t stop shacking up with their cousins, they shouldn’t be allowed in.”

Issue by The Colony of AnPrim Island

Edited by Sedgistan
Top

[TalAkMaChen]

This issue is long known, matey.

[Jutsa]

Another reason to update the list. Been quite, auite busy the last few days. Hope to get half my backlog done the next couple days.

[Racoda]

I just got issue #437: Blue Screen Of Economic Death without the third option. I'm unsure what the requirements for that option are though.

[Trotterdam]

I just got issue #437: Blue Screen Of Economic Death without the third option. I'm unsure what the requirements for that option are though.

Signs point to Autarky.

[Techolandia]

« Back to Issues
1 ASQUELE

The Circuit City Herald
VOL. 32 NO. 1,308
CITY FINAL
MONDAY MARCH 2, 2020

One in the Oven
The Issue

The death of three young children, who succumbed to sun stroke after being forgotten in the back seats of a poorly-ventilated vehicle, has sparked heated debate.
The Debate

name="choice-0" “These parents deserve the death penalty for their negligence,” spits Jiang Burns, childless author of the book Perfect Parenting. “Three children died, and someone has to pay! What’s more, there should be a licence examination that people take before they’re allowed to have kids. Some people are too ignorant to be allowed to breed!”

name="choice-1" “There should be consequences, but also support,” wheezes Nosipho Henderson, Minister of State Nannying, looking close to having a heat stroke herself, as her prodigious bulk sweats in the heat. “I suggest community service, plus bereavement counseling, and a nationwide program of heat safety promotion.”

name="choice-2" “According to our studies, most of these tragedies are caused by parents who are overworked and exhausted,” says your Officer of Safety Statistics, while staring at a photo of his child before nodding out for a moment and waking up with a jolt. “The government should pay for childcare support, and additional paid leave for parents of school-aged children.”

Issue by The Lucky Lands of Maverique

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Techolandia]

« Back to Issues
1 ASQUELE

The Circuit City Herald
VOL. 32 NO. 1,309
CITY FINAL
MONDAY MARCH 2, 2020

Give a Cyborg Dog a Bone
The Issue

As you stoop to pin a Violet Heart on the chest of a wheelchair-bound war veteran, he tugs the leash of his ex-army attack cyborg dog, and demands your attention.
The Debate

name="choice-0" “It’s about time we recognised the sacrifice animals have made for Techolandia,” he grumbles. “Why, Lassie here took out six insurgents by herself, disarmed a nuclear device, and entertained the troops with cartwheels and backflips. She deserves a medal and medical care as much as any of us!”

name="choice-1" “How interesting...” muses recruiting sergeant Tarquin Smith while examining the set of gnashers on Lassie. “If one cyborg dog can do all that, imagine what an army full of them could achieve? And no more injured soldiers to bother the press — as the saying goes, don’t look a gift cyborg dog in the mouth. Rather than waste money on old war-dogs that are too aged to fight, we should be funding more front line fighters. That can go for the humans too.” He sneers disdainfully at the veteran in the wheelchair.

name="choice-3" “Cyborg dogs do enough for us already; they shouldn’t be in our military,” pleads Timmy Blofeld from the accompanying media pack. “Can’t we leave them in peace to do as nature intended? Rescuing children from abandoned mineshafts, throwing ropes to children on runaway rafts rapidly approaching waterfalls, and fronting up popular TV franchises. That sort of thing.”

Issue by The Oh My GOD! What were they thinking! He's a MODERATOR! of Sedgistan

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[TalAkMaChen]

Technolandia, please use the search (at the top of the page where is says "Search this topic") before posting "new" issues. All until 1321 are known, so kindly do not spam with old issues, thank you.

[Pangurstan]

Issue 1322
Introducing Altengarten?

The Issue

Last month, a prestigious @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ retirement home had a novel idea: combining aged care and kindergarten. The idea was well-received by geriatricians and geriatrics alike, and now participants are proposing the model be adopted across the care sector.

The Debate

“It wasn’t just a frivolous idea,” states trainee care home manager Falala Watson. “We attempted a trial run and monitored the subjects closely throughout. Every one of the elderly participants showed significant improvement in physical ability, mental health, and overall well-being. And the children learned valuable life lessons! Please @@LEADER@@, implement this model of care across @@NAME@@.”

Accept

“Sure, the trials showed promise...” begins Ken Davenport, your Minister for Science. “But only one ‘class’ of children took part, and a mere 20 seniors! How in Violet’s name that’s considered a scientific trial is beyond me. Expensive policy proposals need rigorous trials and extensive research before being implemented wide-scale. If the effects are as beneficial as its proponents claim, surely it bears further study?”

Accept

“You have got to be kidding!” replies kindergarten teacher Harold Weissenegger. “If you think my precious little kiddos are better off in a musty old folks’ home, you’re insane. No-one knows anything about what old Glynis or Ernest are like with children, and these kids won’t be the experiment to find out! Youngsters belong in the classroom with structured, disciplined teaching — old people’s homes should be for old people only.”

Accept

“Yesterday, I had to change four patients in the space of half an hour,” interjects Prudence Krustofsky, an overworked carer from @@NAME@@ City Lakes, “And you want me to supervise children too? Nope. If you’re going to put youngsters in retirement homes, they’ll need to pull their weight. They can do all the dirty work, like changing soiled bed linen, while us qualified carers do the proper stuff! Maybe then I can finally catch a break.” She breathes an audible sigh of relief

Harold Weissenegger might be a reference to the movie Kindergarten Cop.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

1323: Toss the Coin?

The Issue
A recent financial crisis has seen the currency of East Lebatuck plummet, making that nation a popular holiday destination for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. Some shrewd citizens have discovered that a one lira Lebatuckese coin, worth 0.25 of a @@CURRENCY@@, has exactly the same size and shape as a one @@CURRENCY@@ coin. Their similarity is fooling vending machines in @@NAME@@, giving an effective 75% discount to coin fraudsters.

The Debate
0.) “If you allow this fraud to continue, I’ll go bankrupt!” yells Chip Watson, the owner of the Eckie-Cola Company, emptying his pockets and scattering dozens of East Lebatuckese coins on your desk. “These marauders have come back from holiday and literally plundered our coin-operated vending machines. @@LEADER@@, you must mint new coins: make them bigger, smaller, rectangular, hexagonal — I don’t care! Just make them different from these!”

Accept

1.) “@@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ are the symbols of our national pride; you can’t change them!” roars Iris Dahl, a cultural conservative whose clothes pre-date your rule. “If anything needs to be changed, it’s them stupid East Lebatuckese coins that were minted to mimic and thus devalue our currency. Just tell those impertinent counterfeiters to alter their money, or else we will prohibit our citizens from travelling to their country. Let’s see how well they’ll fare without the tourism income we generate.”

Accept

2.) “No, no, no, you can’t do that; tourism is precisely the solution to this problem,” states Mike Krustofsky, a distraught holidaymaker who has just come back from East Lebatuck with shopping bags full of cheap watches and chocolate. “You must remember that the East Lebatuckese lira lost so much value because of their economic crisis, so we tourists are helping to support their economy. Thanks to us, over time, the East Lebatuckese lira will come to be as valuable as the @@CURRENCY@@ and the problem will simply dissipate. If you want to accelerate this process, you can make it easier for us to help them by abolishing duty on all goods bought from East Lebatuck.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Democratic Island Federation of Frieden-und Freudenland

Edited by Baggieland

Figured I'd do the obvious macros on this one- names are untouched.

[TalAkMaChen]

1322: Names (and genders) except for opt 3 random. Option 3 has the fixed name, as you expected (also "Glynis or Ernest" are fixed there).
1323: Names (and genders) are random (so opt 1 also "@@HIS@@ pockets").